Thursday, November 20, 2014


This is me right after having woke up. I guess I don't look too bad. I read one time in the media about an actor, Josh Hartnett sporting what's called the woke-up-from-bed look. It had a small fad of being considered to be sexy, and he was pulling it off while wearing jeans and a white T-shirt. I just thought I try it out too. Hey, I like my teeth appearing white! I've been taking decent care of them, and like the feeling of them being clean.

The only problem about me according to my dad is that I need to work on some six-pack abs. Everything about me is not that bad even though I am a short and stocky individual.

At one point in the late 80s and early 90s, Tom Cruise was considered to be the best looking actor alive and he stands only 5' 7". He became a world famous movie star with the success of Top Gun. This goes to show that even short actors can end up being successful and have tall, beautiful wives.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Photo With A Female Friend

I put this photo up and it was fun. She was excited because I asked her to go with me to fly a plane. I ended up going with a girl because I was just in the mood for doing that. After taking a lesson with her and figuring that the teacher was going to give us our money's worth, she didn't want to go eat at any restaurant. It bugged me a little that she didn't want to go anywhere, but now I've found out that she's very picky and complains pretty often about anything in the restaurant from being picky. She even has a buddy that she can call and start venting while cussing in Chinese!

Anyway, I'm not revealing the woman's name. It's so funny because we are just friends. It was good times and I don't think I'm all that great looking of a guy. Oh well, it was just one of those days. She seems to be in a friendly and approachable mood with me. I can tell that she's cool with me, and it looks like she doesn't have anyone to settle down with right now.

My Portrait

This is an old photo of my best friend and me at a Halloween event at Queen Mary. It's where you go through some mazes featured on a ghost ship. It's pretty crazy how they make the boat inside claustrophobic by caving up space with props and hiding cast members in scary makeup on those corners. It's funny and a little entertaining for me to get a little startled. This is actually one of my first photos that I'm posting on this site after who knows, five years! 

I'm going to start opening up a little more because I'm a big kid now and fully grown up. I realize my own flaws and my obsessions from getting so mad at stuff sometimes. It's a good thing that I know what's going on now, which was driving me so crazy for awhile. I had to take some baby steps and it's like overnight after having those pieces come together, I had like this light bulb turn on inside my head. 

I'm the short one with a decent stocky build. I am stocky in person for a short guy but I've been accused of being stalky on Facebook by messaging people who I managed to get on their nerves. They were trying to help me out, but got flustered by me and then was like I want to tap out after bugging them so much. What their downfall is their lack of altruistic human character. For the longest time, I was letting it be their strong vantage point, so they are accustomed to shouting, cussing at me, and making uncontrolled remarks with lack of supporting content because they know I'll leave them alone from doing that. I just know that it's because I got on their nerves somehow after they were about trying to help me. 

The way to get around those people acting that way is to just keeping asking them "Why" questions dealing with their bad character and apologizing for bugging them. Once they stop responding to your "Why" questions, keep on repeating those "Why" questions and tell them you are sorry. The most important part of it all is to figure out the answers to those questions you are asking them first! If you don't and wait on their answer, it will drive you crazy. 

Knowledge Saves Time

The old saying goes, "Knowledge is power!" Hence, the funny image of Spongebob. I finally found out that appearance wise with very pretty female friends I have, first off, I actually have some female friends who look very pretty! In itself, it feels amazing I have some allowing me to be their friend on Facebook. The ladies who decided to remove me as a friend are sort of like in between with appearance and doesn't really appear that pretty in person.

Anyhow, I've found out that for visual stimulation, there are plenty of women out there who could be easy to the eyes if there's one girl who you feel so lustfully attracted to. This being said, I'm making a loose judgement call here that I don't think the appearance of a lady really matters too much. I don't want her to be super overweight of course that she won't be mobile anymore. That's more of a health concern for me, but dealing with natural looks and how she was born, I don't think it really matters too much to me now.

Whenever I feel that physical attraction buildup because of a lady looking so pretty to me, I'm just going to realize that there are replacements out there, which is sadly true. There are plenty of pretty actresses out there, but why waste time trying to contact them? I think good looks might actually be more common than one could think, so whether the person has it or not, it's really all about the inside personality for me first. I understand we have strengths and weaknesses and those are the things that people feel bonded to more!

Friday, November 14, 2014


In a televised Spanish or Mexican soccer game, when a player of the team being rooted for makes a goal, the announcer goes really crazy and starts screaming "Goalllll!" and holds it for a few minutes. It's so funny because I remember that. I asked some Mexican friends about it, and they did the same thing while smiling with me about it.

I want to reach my goal, so that's what I'm referring to by writing this post. I asked my best friend if he thought I was annoying and then he said that no, I'm not and pretty much a chill person. My mind is a little displaced because a young woman in her twenties and likes to cuss quite a bit told me that I'm annoying to her and been that way for two years! She's been wanting me to stop messaging her because she's so bothered by it and says that I'm stalking her on Facebook. I really had to ask why after all that time, I'm still annoying to her?  I think I know the real answer to that one.

Anyhow, I'm looking to get back into trading again. I haven't done it for a few weeks now. I'm also trying to exercise into getting some very hard shaped abs and I'm trying to commit myself to doing some growth stretches. I guess I'm experiencing some laziness right now. I'm actually going after studying Network Security, Network Design, and computer programming right now. I'm going to go for being certified in those areas and then go looking for an assistant's position. I do have a computer science degree which is nice to begin with.

 Also, I'm planning on keeping up with reading the Bible. I just might finish off my thoughts of the Bible passages I read. I'm entirely not a pastor or anything and not even remotely a Bible student. I'm just going to keep it honest and if I don't know something, I'm going to admit it. If I'm making any opinions, then I'm also going to state that as well. Basically, for me anything that the Bible says pretty much goes and if some stuff makes me feel uncomfortable then I'm going to mention that too. I'm not going to hold back anything. Whether good or bad, I'm going to let it out.

Oh yeah, I do need a social life too so I definitely need to focus on that. It's a good thing that I can find stuff to do to keep myself occupied. I understand that with the way I socialize, it's really all about the person becoming annoyed in general, if something wrong is happening. With the person getting carried away and getting him or herself into a nightmarish world of Lala Land, I realize that's all I'm really been dealing with this whole time. I'm going to try to do my thing and snap them out of it, if it ever deals with me now and just continue to get better at socializing. I guess just by knowing the actual stuff underneath all of that horrific emotions getting plastered onto my face, it gives me some wiggle room to be a little more creative in getting them off their annoyed mood swings.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Getting Down Focus Power

With my insides wanting to tear me to pieces on rare occasions, on a daily basis I realize that my moodiness can be controlled by undiscovered biological mechanisms. If I'm not really thinking about anything and my brain just wants to become hyper-moody and I noticed it, then well, I don't have to get so mad about anything because it's just complete baloney!

I've learned a natural technique where I can just set aside the bad mood on a consistent basis now. It can be any negative emotion as well for me and by doing that I can just feel relaxed and focused with the utmost fashion.

I realize now that my mood might just randomly want to get a little agitated for no reason. I don't have to give into that feeling because it feels so weak! It's this natural state where you just accept the environment around you and then let go of the destructive mood and becoming so relaxed that working hard feels so easy! With having established a clear mind now, I feel like a winner and also very sorry for having bothered some people with psychological terrorism. It's all personal now and just between him or her and me. I don't need any help with it because of this calm and peaceful natural motives going on inside of me.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Free Time Activity Choices

I'm going to exercise discipline and patience now. Just forget about my dumb emotions now and how I feel lost and stressed about things. I'm just going to live through it and breathe well enough to calm my biometrics down. Even with a pretty girl around, I'm not going go hyper with her. With a lot of bad comments people make, I'm going to just take it in and filter out my selfish emotions. I'm not going to go crazy over that stuff.

A lot of this stuff helps because of my purposed heart of loving Jesus. My faith is ever-growing and I'm learning to understand more of its foundation. It's this sense of peacefulness and rationalism going on at the same time for my heart. I just feel joyful about doing good things because of my faith in God.

Basically, I'm going to avoid playing video games and watching television much as possible. It causes me distraction and away from interacting while feeling connected to people. I'm also going to avoid reading up on professional athletes and celebrities too then; I just don't have the time for it anymore. Basically, I'm going to try to avoid reading so much of pop culture.

The problem I'm facing right now is that I feel this extreme boredom or distaste for what I think would be good for me. I also feel like I'm getting lost in transition with myself. I think I'm going to just live through it and treat it like they are some form of withdrawal symptoms for me, even if it takes a long time to get over. I prefer being nice about stuff. I understand that some people are doing it all wrong but don't want to change still. Maybe, I just don't belong in some areas and have been extremely lucky to end up in some situations.

Patience With Proper Timing

I'm not feeling so avoidant anymore around people and my miseries anymore. I have been learning to properly channel my energy while letting go of angry emotions I have for people. After all, I've been nice enough of a person to keep moody people at bay by keeping it at a not so serious level. My assessment comes from the consequences and discernment of the situation, while throwing out my own emotional experiences. If what I say is correct, then that is very good for me.

There are millions of other people out there where I can try to reach for a better opportunity. I don't think letting myself get stuck with the bad one in my past is going to be a great investment for me. However, I made a written promise with them whether one would think it's foolish or not. It doesn't involve anything radical changing and not a very serious step. They are bothered by me; that's for sure and can't get rid of the feeling too well. With God being my witness, I'm going to carry it out to the best of my ability, but I think it's going to feel very rewarding when I do reach that situation and try to explain it to them.

Goals To Reach

Okay, I'm going to let go of of wasting time and be about developing decent relationships with others. I guess reading books and researching on stuff while reading about interesting news is a good thing. A quote says that discipline is about doing what you don't want to do when you don't want to. Basically, you are being an idiot then if you are dedicating your life to passing some video game and not getting any money out of it. I guess it's okay then when you are a kid though and it's illegal to work at that age.

It's time for me to grow up and despite the joys and cool feelings that go with investing my time playing fun video games like Call of Duty and Assassin's Creed, I'm at the age where I can't invest in that luxury now. I would rather spend my time mingling with good people and growing in my faithful relationship with God while focusing on building a loving family.

Choosing the Right Goals

With the actions that I'm taking, I'm feeling really empty inside and not feeling any fulfillment. It doesn't really have much effect with making my life that much better. Sure, it's entertaining at times and can keep me feeling lost while escaping from reality but that's not what God commanded us to do in the Bible.

I have some very sound goals and able to communicate it, but I'm having difficulty with staying on track with a permanent basis. It's the struggle to be seriously content. It's like this long process of waiting and can be very stressful. I guess it's just about concentrating and relaxing at the same time.

Spending Better Time

I'm having a hard time with my ineffectiveness of not doing what I want to do. I might have enough patience to work at something with the proper encouragement, but my insides feel all jittery. It must be an overwhelming emotion that just wants to consume you and cause your life to feel like it's falling apart.

I need to step up to the plate and clean up my act. My old habits are pretty much just messing around by myself while playing video games and just feeling lonely at times while depressed about having to go to work I feel bored with sometimes. I think I need to establish a better comfort level for others and myself and then to be able to accept my failed attempts and not let that bring me down so much.

Steering Mind In Right Direction

Let's just face it. I'm not great at the things I do and that if I want to get good at something then I have to spend a lot of time on it. I don't really have a lot of time to spend on things and don't really have anything for appealing to others.

Likewise, the majority of people aren't really that special anyway just like me. They could be going through any issue and even could make it seem like a normal thing to unsuspecting individuals.

Friday, November 7, 2014

Changing Things Around

I think a lot of it deals with patience, confidence, and just determination in getting things done consistently. I struggled for years with my emotional anxieties and now feel like I'm in control a lot better.

I just need to utilize my time better and be more in control with making smart actions now. Others are nice to have around, but what it really comes down to is just making time for them. I realize some bad qualities of certain women now and having those angst of not getting results is normal to me, but I struggle with not getting annoyed by it from others.

I guess I've been just taking a long vacation of just existing. TV has been like running my life for the past couple days. I'm starting to want to just take charge of my life.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Managing Life Better

I realize that it's really easy to get lost in my train of thought from being all about sensuality! It's actually considered to be a sin because those moments where you are caught up in a selfish cycle while wasting time can end up being bad for you.

I just learned something crazy in that actresses who make their living off of being incredibly attractive are most of the time average or even slightly ugly ladies in real life. I noticed that even around my weird female friends too, who are not the prettiest sight at times but like to dress up sometimes with the make up to give you that wow factor!

Okay, this only adds more reasons to believe that it's not about chasing after the woman's youthful and fleeing beautiful appearances. I believe I can accept being with the right person now who I know I can develop a strong and loving bonded relationship. I really want to be a pleasing gentleman with her and do the best I can, without bothering her.

For this entire week, I've been just messing around while thinking about how I can improve and make my life better. I watched some incredible T.V. shows last night to feed my guilty pleasures. It was those survival reality shows. It's crazy how those survival experts perform to adapt to hazardous and natural environments with lack of resources, while battling hunger and thirst. I'm really inspired by it and want to learn it myself.

What I think about while watching those shows is how I'm this bottled up and selfish individual who has felt uncomfortable over people removing him as a friend on Facebook and then forcing me to not talk about it with them. It's really just a minor annoyance with people and if that's bothering me so much still, then should I go see a psychologist? People are going to try to come up naturally with giving advice. What I learned is that the problem with women are that they don't really want advice on fixing problems, they just want to be heard while venting their problems. Fortunately, my issue with those weird ladies is that it's not a huge deal in itself. I just had to take some time off to learn to not go crazy with my emotions and feel like I'm under control. It's helped from just willing to myself to think positive with a lot of strong confidence and looking for some laughs, no matter what I engage myself in. I'm ready now to deal with those poor and unfortunate souls who are misguided with their train of thought. I honestly would just stay quiet and not try to overreact if I did something selfish or didn't know about it and wanted to get mad at the same time. I guess I have the upper hand then as usual.