Monday, August 11, 2014

Taking Care of Things

I guess I'm starting to get a little better at managing my own time, but it's still not that good as I would like it to be. I think I really have a lot of choices to make in the near future now. It's really neat in that my emotions are not stressing me out anymore and hindering me from pursuing my goals.

I used to feel very held back and totally impatient. I had like a learning disability that I couldn't relieve myself from for a long time. Now that I'm out of college and have found myself growing better from becoming a more adept reader, reading a lot of good material has really been great at improving my confidence level and helped me become a better at studying.

I guess I'll be gone for the next two weeks because I have to do another business trip, but I think I will still be able to write something on this blog. I do need to start catching up with my blog posts. I think I could easily manage five posts a day if I really wanted to, but it would possibly hinder with my own family arrangements.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Becoming Less of a Loser

Right now, I'm going to go off topic, instead of hanging out with some attractive people right now who like to hang with others, I'm just keeping to myself today and burning a whole bunch of old CDs that aren't mine onto my small, portable hard drive. I feel very happy, yes. I don't feel like a loser, period!

I'm grabbing my images by using a secret method that really works. Send me a link on the comments if you can do this too. I remember my random MUMBO-JUMBO (past posts that are full of baloney sandwiches) ramblings and even getting a comment on there. Man, I'm the man dude! I have my arms lifted high in the air while no one is watching except for the people on the Net.

I don't feel like a loser because this girl I liked and who wouldn't respond to me via texts finally replied back to me. I wasn't expecting it, and I think that's what the key is. Don't expect to be answered to by a pretty girl you feel like you have no shot of making your girlfriend! She isn't really the most gorgeous woman on the planet, even though I could change that thought in a heartbeat. It's a nonsensical sentence that's a little cryptic right now. I'm being not so straight-forward about it that I'm revealing it isn't and know that it isn't.

Controlling My Positive Energy

I believe that with the funny thoughts and aggressive imaginations I sometimes think up, I get a little jittery underneath and then lose track of my current situation. This happens to me for a few seconds a lot- I really need to exercise discipline because my mind is very powerful at staying motivated with doing the most meaningless tasks!

I remember writing complete baloney at one point and then getting in trouble because of it in school. I told the counselor that I had mental problems and then he laughed and let me off the hook. I was seen as a very smart kid you don't want to mess with in high school. I scared so many grown adults and I think I was still a minor, so it was weird totally. I'm not going into the details of what I wrote about because I don't want to get in trouble by someone else again.

My mind is so different from the pack that I don't really think a lot of the things I do is really that cool. It might be unique to a certain point, but then again, I'm just so different while being a completely normal person. I don't think I really connect with the masses too well on Facebook or anything, but I do write stuff a lot better than the old days and so those people don't seem to mind what I put on there or at least by the majority.

I guess I'm weird in a way that I can eventually figure out things and get to a happy resolution after following through from the climax! Yes, what I wrote is very cryptic right now because I was imagining something in my head. That stuff is private and I'm not covering it. Maybe, I won't even remember what I was thinking about a few years from now. Anyhow, I guess it's just the flow of moving with things and keeping myself occupied. After all, I'm trying to reach the meaningless 365 post again. Maybe, I'll go overboard from trying to cover the Bible verses at the same time this time around, so the minimum will just be 365 posts then.

Back To Bible Notes

I am basically no pastor, neither am I a prophet! I'm pretty much a nobody trying to read through the whole Bible and making sense out of it. I guess to some people, the thought of there being a God to them makes absolutely no sense. Okay, I'm not really saying anything to that- just that there hasn't been any scientific proof of God's existence or not, so it seems like the only thing an unbelieving scientist could do is just doubt beyond all measure and just go from there doing their routine and making a living off of their research.

 Anyhow, I've lived through the emotional ups and downs of life while being a Christian. I even went out trying to share my faith with others. A few individuals just shut the door on us- they were like "No thank you" and slammed the door on us; man, that hurt! There were a few times where a few guys I met out of the blue listened to the gospel and gave their life over to the Lord. Wow, that was phenomenal; I thought it was all me, but in the end, it's not! It's really the power of the Holy Spirit, through the blessings of the teachings of the Father in heaven. One weird Christian I used to hang with said to me, "Do your magic" after witnessing me leading someone to Christ. I was like "What???"

I am a total emotional wreck, but nobody cares because it's really what you do that counts. Like me writing incoherent and cryptic stuff sometimes bugs some people and they just get mad and worried and not wanting to have anything to do with me, especially if I put on negative body language with them. Man, my subtle body language is powerful along with the cryptic messages I write! It bugs the people I don't like for some reason at the moment a whole lot. It was after I managed to get over it that I managed to get those people to respond back to me in a nice and friendly manner. Man, I'm so good at leading people back to good standing with me. Whether a person wants to call it manipulating or not, I'm just happy the person no longer has any beef with me and that I can just move on without worrying about them and feeling worn out with them.

I don't have to be that angry man with Napoleon Complex anymore and start demotivating them and then building them back up with my weird philosophies being forced down their living conscious.

Appearance Doesn't Seem To Matter

Okay, this topic is for people who are a little mature. If you are a teenager and going through some issues of appearance then good luck at coming to terms with it. I had to go through all of that stuff too during my teenager years; I ended up popping a lot of my pimples, which was an idiotic act to do. Don't do that, just wash the face and let the acne clear up with some of that cream and be careful, if you take some medication for it.

I've had my decent share of women and men telling me straight-up while I stand there in disbelief that I'm a pretty good-looking guy. I would feel this uncomfortable thing underneath of how that's impossible to me and just not know how to respond to that complement. Now, I'm going to be like thank you and smile.

About the topic of appearances because I seem to err a little off topic for some reason because it's fun to do while others get a headache sometimes and then get mad, I notice that it doesn't really matter to me so much if a woman is beautiful on the outside. I want to have a special connection with my future wife someday, and I believe that if she's adorable enough to me then that's good enough for me. I don't care how others would feel about her looks because she would be the right fit for me while I'm in love!

Basically, I'm at the point where I surfed the Internet looking for beauty and there's like supermodels who people consider to be gorgeous and when I look at them, I think another friend I know looks like her and she might be better looking too. This is why I seem to not care so much about appearances anymore, it's just wasting my time looking at meaningless stuff when I could focus on making myself a rich man and healthy with six pack abs!

I can't find a replacement for that longing feeling of companionship with a beautiful wife. I keep on trying and failing; one of these days I'm just going to have defeat the enemy inside of me and make that boring and stupid side submit to my natural good qualities. No one has to know about how much effort I'm putting in and feeling at the moment and from struggling while it goes through the highs and lows. I'm just going to have to be consistent, while breaking out of my addictive cycles. Even if I'm not feeling it, I'm becoming more reliant on going with faith or what I believe in. One of my buddies just stays constantly depressed because he's a selfish guy honestly and can't break out of his shell to the point of no return. He's just stuck in his own ideologies he grew up with and can't solve it too well. Oh well, I guess he was just born that way and doesn't want to put in too much effort and end up getting tortured to a point he can't handle.

Wow, Been So Busy

I have some on-going issues that I'm trying to solve with myself. Okay, from being a Christian, maybe I might engage in some borderline sins that are not very heavily discussed about in the Bible. That's the area I struggle in currently, and I'm trying to make sense and meaning out of it so that I can abandon those tempting ideas that re-occur often after I do the questionable act.

For myself, I get tired easily after doing something that could be considered sinful. I'm being a little cryptic on purpose here because I'm afraid that my comments might not really be great for youngsters. I'm sure adults and other guys around my age would be able to relate to my struggles, but I don't feel right about writing so bluntly on this topic. However, that's how I end up scaring a lot of people as well even thought most of my friends are cool with it!

I can be very blunt in person or one-on-one, so I guess when someone has some unsettled beef with me then I could resolve it by being very upfront with the person. By being this way in writing or in person, after doing my deed of helping the other person come to terms with me, I'm like maybe that person isn't really that worth it to begin with. I then go cold shoulders with him or her for some reason, after I find a way to end the conflict the other person is feeling with me. Man, I feel like I'm an intelligent person when I make a person who is like "Get away from me" become a bit more flattering with me and then give me a thumbs up! I guess I got some mad skills in that area, man. It's awesome to have it underneath all of my aggressive moods of wanting to just be angry and controlling with others like a typical man with Napoleon Complex.

For the purpose of survival, I've had to develop some intra-intelligence which is I.Q. that is being aware of your personal emotions, throughout any time of the season. I've had some practice with it, so I understand how others can struggle with it. I do too, by imagining stuff in my head and then feeling afterwards, that's just plain wrong to do and then struggling to make peace with it by discovering alternative solutions on my own. I'm getting so much better at maintaining my own personal moods then I used to. Everything about me is almost normal or average in fact, but quite possibly a little above everything except for me being short, but no one seems to really care about that with me now.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Genesis 7-9

Yesterday, I ended up reading the pages of Genesis 7-9. I've been finding out that my reading ability has been enhanced from asking myself questions and actively focusing on the passages. I'm a lot more relaxed than before because I used to feel some reading anxiety from wanting to just get it down really fast and have the information flowing through my head right away. I guess I've been developing some better patience- a pretty, female friend once told me that I have a lot of patience and that I'm pretty straight-forward. I guess those are the qualities that she either wanted me to keep developing in or just felt I was well-matched up for it.

These chapters basically talked about how God kept a remnant of all living animals of the ground by commanding Noah to build an ark that would house a male and female pair of each living creature that lived on the land. God then decided to keep a covenant with Noah because of his faithfulness. It seems like from Genesis 6:5 and the verses 7, 12-13, God was really upset about mankind imagining evil things and making the world still a violent place, despite the people there having a long life. God would then shorten the lifespan to about 120 years as our maximum life. Yes, I did read about a woman who reached the age of 122 years, but still I think the Bible means to be around that approximate age.

One of my friends ended up blaming the people of back then for screwing it up for us. From having a discussion with him, discussing the verse Genesis 8:21, I told him that we are all capable of imagining bad things and then told him that he was falling short in the glory of God daily. He agreed and then asked, "Don't we all?" Yes, we do! It seems like the people of the world back then hasn't been changed that much to how people are today.

God ended up blessing Noah and his sons in Genesis 9:1 and told them to multiply the earth. Following closely with the view of the Bible, we would all be the descendants of Noah's family. I was told by speculation that the gene pool was very pure back then and among Noah's three sons and wives, their primary descendants would be able to intermarry and successfully produce healthy offspring. These days, it would be nearly impossible because the DNA from close relatives would mess it up and create unwanted mutations, if there's any offspring to go along with it. That's why it's illegal for siblings and first cousins to marry each other now.

One of my buddies told me that he likes to think of himself more as a descendant of Adam, rather than Noah. It would technically apply to us as well because Noah came from Adam's genealogy, too which can be found from reading Genesis 5.

Genesis 8 ended up confusing me a little from Verse 2. I'm not sure what rain from heaven and the fountains of the deep really means. Anyhow, the Bible was clear about mentioning that the raining and the flood had stopped and the ark would eventually reach dry ground. Noah would send out his birds to be scouts of finding out if there's dry land. What was crazy is that after the rain of forty days and forty nights, Noah's family and the animals would go on to live in the ark for a total of a whole year, which is found in Genesis 8:13.  To finish it all off for today because I'm busy and there's always another day to visit this section again, Genesis 9:16 talks about how God blessed us with a rainbow in the cloud that would show an everlasting covenant among God and all living creatures on the earth. It looks like God is sending a message that He loves everything that He created; despite the circumstances that we can go through sometimes.

The whole forty days and forty nights thing with the flood rings a bell in how Jesus spent those days fasting in a desert! Man, that's crazy because of all that heat and huge chance of being mentally aggravated from just constantly starving. Maybe, Jesus had a servant to fetch him water and some form of shade. Also the flood for some reason seems to represent some type of baptism to my head, it's like once we're baptized in the Lord's name, we don't have to ever go through it again and can know that we've been saved from eternal damnation and continue to practice the Lord's ways despite falling in sin on at least a blue moon or something like that. Yeah, it's if we can catch ourselves being like that. God promised that he would never make another flood to wipe up everything living on the ground ever again, which could be a huge point for believers and is found in Genesis 9:15.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Genesis 6

From Genesis 5, I forgot to mention how the Bible mentioned that a family led by Lamech became blessed with Noah, who would responsible for building the ark and leading his family through the great flood we've come to hear about. There are legends from other ancient cultures that also mimic this tale of a great flood. Could it just be a coincidence?  Also, scientific research is also showing that quite possibly, analyzing some canyons like the Grand Canyon might fit better with the model of a flood causing so much water damage from all that pressure build up in the past. It's sort of like going through a movement of changes in the past from religion to science, but some smart Christians have decided to embed science into their faith to try to diminish the room for doubting in their faith and encourage others to take up the cross. It also gives room to believe even stronger with more reasonable evidence in the Christian faith, even if it ticks off a lot of other religious leaders and doubters. They definitely would then have some emotional problems that need to get resolved.

Genesis 6 seems to talk about how the world ended up multiplying and having so much fun with partying like college kids with their fraternity and sorority parties. I'm not going into so much detail because I want to be like little kids could read this and laugh too while adults do the same. I heard in verse 2 talking about the "sons of God". I heard someone outright jump onto that verse and say that fallen angels took wives and their kids became giants. I'm not so sure about it- for now, it seems like for my reasonable thought is that sons of God is another way of saying male children of God. These male children of God started getting really fancy towards a multitude of women, just like the Muslim faith where guys would want to die for that in their messed up view of heaven.

The Lord than said in Verse 3 that instead of living like a thousand years, man is only going to live up to about 120 years. I think one lady reached the 120 mark in this generation of people living. It's so rare to find people living that long now. Also from Genesis 5, I recalled Enoch living only 365 years. We have only 365 days in a year with exception to a leap year, so that's how I remember it coincidentally. Enoch ended up like vanishing or something like that in Genesis 5:24. Could that be an example of the concept of rapture? There's this movie called Left Behind coming out. Rapture is a concept of people being taken up by God. A believer with an interesting twist in his faith was complaining about how that's considerably selfish. Oh come on now!

In verse 8, mankind took a twist of fate all thanks to one man Noah because he found grace in the eyes of the Lord!

A thing about the Bible is that obedient people who follow God's commands with all their hearts are considered to be righteous. Genesis 6:9 says that "Noah was a just man, perfect in his generations. Noah walked with God." Besides the world being corrupted with so much partying going on and abuse of other people, there was also much violence. People basically had emotional problems that turned them aggressive and impulsive about finding pleasure of some sort that Sigmund Freud talked about. It's similar to Cain having felt problems with his brother Abel. It's just wrong to go off killing your own sibling over a simple emotion of feeling angry with him. It seems like the world was filled with a lot of this mess at the time, and it even occurs somewhat today among strangers.

The tie in verse of this chapter seems to be found in Verse 18-19 where God told Noah, "But I will establish My covenant with you; and you shall go into the ark- you, your sons, your wife, and your sons' wives with you. And of every living thing of all flesh you shall bring two of every sort into the ark to keep them alive with you; they shall be male and female." God pretty much had a detailed plan and ensured for the survival and posterity of His creation. Just this full command to Noah with God's plan seemed to be so profound and to take care of everything. I'm in with trying to read the whole Bible again; I wonder what God's plan He has for me to accomplish and to gain from this go around again.

Genesis 5

Genesis 5 talks about how God made Adam in the likeness of God. Verse 2 talks about how God intended for both male and female to be blessed and become mankind! I watched this one show that talked about this fictional religious group that believed that the Bible meant the man to be worshiped over a woman. Not quite so, it's not even the other way around. The Bible made it pretty clear in the New Testament that there is really no male and female in heaven and that both men and women are meant to be equally children of God.

While on this planet, guys can sometimes be pretty much idiots and just get carried away with a pretty girl who dresses up all nicely. It's after you get to know her as a friend for awhile that maybe, she's a little bit more different than you could have imagined. One of my buddies was not quite gifted with a large brain and hasn't been too successful; he's a nice guy, but someone you would have to train for thinking more properly with pretty women. Yeah, I know what's on my mind like other guys do too with attractive women, but I choose to not act on it because the Bible says to wait until you are married to do all the fun stuff with your wife!

These guys in Genesis 5 got married while they were literally really old- like the average age for them was around 100 years old. For them, they had only lived 10% of their children-producing lives and the fun that goes with enjoying your life partner while worshiping God. Hey, it was a privilege for them, but we have something better offered at our table. We may live only about a third of our life before getting married and having kids, but it's a faster ticket for strong believers to get into heaven!

Genesis 4

I started all over with reading the Bible. The Word of Promise Audio Bible has this really neat playlist for reading the Bible in 365 days. Wow, it's so convenient in that I could choose to read the Bible in chronological or the whole Bible like it is. I'm running it in my mobile device which makes it even more portable for me to listen to the Word and follow along with my Bible. What's great is that it leaves me with a bookmark in that if I don't read the Bible then I could read again from where I left off and get to the 365th day mark of actually reading the Bible. Now, that's such a delightful blessing and discovery for me.

Genesis 4 leaves off from where Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden. They bore two sons Cain and Abel. It looks like the first detailed emotion of jealousy for mankind listed in the Bible in Genesis 4:5. Is it really God's fault for not accepting Cain's offering? That's something that leaves me thinking about human nature. Some people are just naturally better gifted at other things- like Bill Gates is better at making money better than anyone in the planet, or let's say the most beautiful and recognized person in the world happened to be your sibling and you were not that well-received by your parents, family, and friends compared to him or her. This leaves me thinking that it's normal for people to feel like they are going through a hard time.

God gave us an encouraging verse for us to remember, "If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it." - Genesis 4:7

We obviously failed, but it was from the shedding of Christ's blood on the cross and being resurrected with the story of love and ultimate sacrifice along with becoming God's child that Christians can take heart again in this world and lead others to this amazing and surpassing peace that can't be found anywhere in this world.

In Verse 16, it talks about how Cain went out from the presence of the Lord. I don't know if this means that Cain broke fellowship with God and chose to not enter heaven. In Verse 17, it talks about Cain getting intimate with his wife but did she come from Adam and Eve also? I don't think the Bible is really clear if God created more people from the dust like he did with the first man, Adam. I heard someone speculate that Adam and Eve had the most perfect genes and were thus able to live a very long life and reproduce with so much success and that their offspring would also go on to do the same. We can't intermarry our siblings today because the kids could end up with genetic deformities like it happened during the Egyptian rule of Pharaoh. The Pharaoh would marry one of his cousins or even sister, yuck! The kids had hemophilia, where the blood doesn't clot if the skin gets an open wound!

The chapter ends with saying that after Adam and Eve bore Seth, their third son- Seth's wife ended up bearing a son Enosh and that's where men began to call on the name of the Lord. The Bible talks a lot about calling on the name of the Lord, but I wonder if it means to pray to God and depend on Him for any circumstance we go through in our life. If would be great to learn more about that later on in the Bible.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Change Of Events

A female friend I supposedly had a crush on Facebook just posted on her status that she is dating a guy that she likes. Well, that sucks for me. I guess I'm not the right person for her. Well, her comments started getting a little too raunchy for me, and she has posted a lot of sexy photos of herself posing.

On the flip side, I did meet a really nice lady online. I really like how we had an ongoing relationship going via e-mail. I'm starting to not really mind the idea of entertaining the thought of dating different people. The way I'm looking at it is if we established something and then something didn't quite work out, then I'm not on a leash anymore and get to keep on trying again with another. The only thing that I'm going to fight so hard to keep is after I get married, I'm going to guard and treasure it with all of my heart; regardless of the person I end up with. Hopefully, she doesn't get all suicidal with me.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Daily Tasks At Hand

I'm currently building a Magic The Gathering deck which is pretty powerful and costs about $200. I'm almost done with it, or that's what I usually say to myself, but I always seem to make new additions to it every once in awhile. I might even start building a new deck. I just need to find my crowd of people who are really into it and just start playing some games with them to just have some fun. My deck has a few killer cards that put the advantage on my side. Actually, all of my cards make a significant contribution because they are all categorized as rare or mythical. Every card I'm playing has that level of effect and they all work so well together, so I was told that I'm going 70 miles an hour by a buddy when it's up and running.

I need to get an oil change and don't really want to do it myself. I need to get the brakes fixed on my car also. I need to get a car wash. I also need to fix the cover of my convertible. I have some normal maintenance issues with it that I should take care of. I need to start reading the Bible because I just keep talking about it and not doing it. The same goes well into upgrading my physical fitness level. I guess a lot of the things that I'm trying to do feels a little overwhelming for me, so I naturally forget to do it. I think I just need to be able to embrace the challenge and to just go for it. I'm going to try to prioritize as well now.

What I Plan To Try Posting More Often

I'm gearing myself to actually studying every verse of the Bible now and see how they all tie together in one giant setting. The only, primary weapon I see against the Bible is pretty much doubting in the faith. Other than that, with the people who do accept it and don't seem that strong in the Word, I think they might have some mental or emotional issues which causes them to act out of proportion. I can't really blame the Bible for believers who can't live up to the faith and tick a lot of other people off.

I actually was born with a large head and when I'm making sense out of stuff, it actually sounds very obvious. The thing about it though is that it's not really thought about while being in action and can easily be ignored while carrying out some mental or emotional tasks. I just might turn this blog into my daily devotion of reading the Bible and how my life has been going. I think it could be a place where I just start sharing, but I don't really like that word because it seems to me it's like talking about how great of a person you are from being faithful. I believe that encourages idolizing the wrong people because the one believers should be worshiping is Jesus. From what I heard which is very true, people are going to disappoint you if you fully rely on them. I'm asking not to rely on me for tasks I don't even understand and have no emotional attachment to, but a few people with problems imposed that on me. I guess I'm sorry I can't live up to their expectations, but I do want to help them get over it because it deals with me and that will just completely satisfy me!

Stuff I Won't Talk About It

I guess I either really suck at poker or I'm just not really cut out for figuring out the math and just constantly find myself in the wrong situations, so therefore it would constitute myself to be just gambling on winning hands. I'm not going to be relying on poker for making a living then; I think it will just suck the living fun out of my life. The only total value I really see in it on the long run is that it could entertain others in society and that's just about it.

I guess I'm just a sore loser then and should be just letting it go. I think the only time I'm playing poker then would be to just have fun and end up giving my money to others eventually. The whole trading and investing aspect is also really risky but could be rewarding. I'm not going to talk about it or even brag about my successes with anyone now. I'm going to just leave it on the down low. I think it's an incredibly sensitive topic and even turns women off with all of the losses that could be accumulated from making mistakes.

Parrying A Whole Lot

It seems like I'm planning a lot of stuff in my head, but not acting out on them. I imagine myself in the motion of the act and find that it could be a waste of time. Even though it might not feel good for me, I think I'm just committed to making things work out even with the smallest things. I did make a few pledges with those people with emotional problems, so I'm going to have to live out my promises I made with them first before going any further now. They can have their years of more emotional pain and discomfort that could accumulate with other stuff happening to them. Helping them solve their issue with me is just going to bring me satisfaction, but they might still have a significantly large amount of other unrelated issues pending afterwards.

While in this motion of parrying, I'm going to pray for their lives to the Lord with a wholesome and loving heart. I'm going to pray for the ones who attempted to give me a hard time and failed; basically, the ones who received a hard time from me just making a minimal amount of effort. Hey, it happens to brilliant people every once in awhile, so it can't really hinder my confidence that much! I'm trying to stay humble which is difficult with those people with emotional issues looking dumb to me.

Been Awhile

I haven't really posted on this blog for a long time or that's just how it feels after a few weeks. I guess depending on how you look at it and if there are emotional problems involved, a few might find this site to be offensive. Anyway the way I look at it is that after almost six years having passed by which could feel like a lifetime, if no one has really been offended by my remarks and taken legal action to get this site taken down, then I guess I'm in clear waters and the people who were mad for any reason at me just have emotional problems to deal with.

A few individuals were going through a hard time with me by me just asking them a few questions like how are you doing? I think they were stressed out and having trouble managing their emotions. I might have got a little too close with them, but just ended up on their wrong side of the bed. Right now, I feel like helping those individuals because the issues they were stressed out about deals with me. I'm not that stressed out with my own life, but they are for some reason. If it didn't deal with me, then they wouldn't have kept on telling me that they don't want to talk about it. The sentiment of their feelings seem to within well range to discern that they can't handle their emotions too well at times and can't let it go.

I'm not frustrated with the events anymore and accept each and every one of those individuals now for their strengths and weaknesses, the things I like and hate about them. I think talking and settling on a matter that is troubling to them, which deals with me could encourage them to walk more favorably with the Lord. I see how my passionate pursuit of wanting to have a closer relationship with Jesus after studying the pages of the Bible could have a deeper meaning of communicating with them.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

What I Am Going To Do

I am going to pretty much dedicate myself a little more. Pretty much, I'm now getting to used to the idea of being with no girlfriend and suffering from having no hope of ever getting married. I figure now that the struggles I've been going through is in how it's really all about marriage anyway. Yeah, it wouldn't make sense for me to continue doing weird stuff that turns out to be bad on my end. I'm just going to toss it aside then and just keep on going.

I'm starting to just plain not care about a few things and just going to move on along with my life. I'm still a strong believer of Jesus and want to love him with all of my heart. I'm going to try to deal with my personal emotional problems and try to keep them from recurring. Everything that I'm dealing with is just plain normal for me. I need to be aware of that and to go above and beyond with where I'm headed. I think I'm just learning to be desensitized in areas that don't emotionally matter so much and becoming more sensitive and aware of things that are important.