Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Pretty Much Basics

I'm really trying to read the Bible again. It seems like I have to make a huge effort to read it. There's like always other stuff trying to distract. When I do put in the effort, it's like I could fall asleep as well from the content being a little hard to understand for me.

I can't go back into the past now and try different decisions and life choices I should have made. I was totally an ignorant and sensitive person. I didn't understand what I was doing must of the time because I was just winging it. Man, that was weird from feeling disassociated with everything.

The thing though is that I've been making healthy strives and becoming more normal while comprehending certain situations. I'm totally inexperienced with forming a girlfriend and don't even know how I attracted certain women to ask me out. I guess it happens for whatever reason.

I'm actually having a lot more normal conversations with my sister now as well. I used to lead her on to a tirade and give her annoyances that would make her be a brat. Yeah, my sister has a pretty turbulent personality. When I did try to match her energy, she ended up not talking to me anymore. I was like the lead because she would never intentionally say anything around me. I think I told her a lot of times to not say anything and would bother her because of that. It turned out to be very much to my disliking because I think she was comfortable with playing the quiet game and letting me just go off with my own world and dragging her with me.

Times have seriously changed. I'm not just some quiet and slightly weird guy who tries to be nice during all circumstances. What I can say though is that God will never let any believer be tested with a trial that he or she can't handle.

Becoming Sane

Oddly from being able to have pretty good conversations with women and being able to text intermittently with them, I'm becoming a lot more sane man. To explain, I guess I'm sort of living what I've always wanted to achieve which was having a decent friend whose a girl. I wanted some girl to just connect with and have good relations to. She had to be someone pretty and around my age.

I'm just not starting to see it that way anymore. I want to be with a lady who is assertive and doesn't seem to really have anger issues like I already have buried deep down inside my heart. Having made friends with a few of those types of girls has really influenced me to be in a more loving manner.

I'm making peace with my petty conflicts starting with myself. Others can just take their time with getting back to me. It feels like the Holy Spirit might be nudging at me to visit them sooner or later.


What I Could Be Doing

I haven't really talked about much with the Bible or said something about my faith in Jesus this month. My faith still remains and it's probably one of the main reasons why I stay fighting with keeping myself pure in heart with everything.

From hearing testimonies from successful believers, it's not so odd to me anymore that they've been through hard times like I have. It's like we've all been there. Some people are those we can relate to a lot more.

I'm really starting to see that maybe people in general just have their own agenda. It's fascinating to be just blessed and use those talents and abilities honed from practice and be an active worker for God's kingdom.

Actual Goals

I haven't really written down my goals as of late because I've been just wanting to talk about other stuff. I'm just using the title as an excuse to do something else. Oh my gosh, I'm starting to have a lot of fun with stuff now.

I'm understanding women a little better these days and actually have decent friendships with them. It's not really that difficult to get along with them. I think I was just a nervous wreck this whole time and unintentionally involving myself with people who were just not going through a good time.

Yeah, I think those people thought they could get away with me from going on a tirade because they thought I was too nice. Anyhow I've always managed to get back to being a nice person with all the yelling I ever did to a person. I just never saw that stage coming from those people. I don't think they wanted to resolve an irritating situation to them that was petty while being lovely people.


Going Back To Goals

I think I need to lay off the Magic: the Gathering a little bit now. I've been playing a little too excessively. The thing about it though is that one of my closest friends is hooked on that game and I introduced it to him. I'm so happy that I have play buddy for one my best friends with a card game that I grew up with. I thought I was never going to get back into it because I had no one to play with.

I just felt like I didn't belong in the circle and out of place in social group setting. I think I was just too self-conscious about my surroundings. I wanted to be well-liked and all, so I guess I've been intending to be extroverted this whole time with my nature. I just scared myself into becoming an unhappy introvert.

Growing up T.V. was so depressing because I felt this sense of emptiness and boredom. I wanted to make some meaning out of my life and that feeling of how it was not that good while watching T.V. is something I can still feel today.

Maybe Good Time To Move On

I think this girl I like doesn't really have a boyfriend, but then again I think she's dating just one main guy. It seems like they have a special bond together and may end up getting married or something later on in life. I don't really think it's going to happen for some reason. Maybe it will though, so I could be wrong.

I'm a fan of couples just pairing and getting married and staying together to the best of their ability. Even though I like her, I think at the moment it might be in my best interest to look elsewhere. I seriously have a fun-filled friendship with her already. It's really sweet with how she is with me. I know we are compatible and all of that good stuff.

Maybe, it's just timing doesn't meet up well together but her swell sense of personality. I guess I could just continue getting annoyed and working through my own mess.

Monday, August 29, 2016

Working Out

Well, I'm basically spending my time a little bit more developing my Magic: the Gathering deck. Also, I've been working out in the mornings. I feel like from having a body that's getting stronger along with forming those cool looking abs and growing more muscle, I can be more confident about dating the woman I'm really into. I'm actually pretty cool with her right now.

I intend on keeping it that way. Those losers at that church were my unintentional guinea pigs of how to mistreat a human badly using my evil tactics and being a psychological horror to them. I'm not going to play that way with the girl I end up marrying. On the contrary, I might actually end up submitting to her because I have to. At least the whole relationship and will be based on the concept of love and affectionate attention to the spouse I would feel so blessed to be married to. I guess I have high hopes like that and pretty good feelings that have been developing over all those years. 

Keeping It Positive

It's a work in progress for me. I actually have something like a six pack showing right now. The belly is quite in right now too. I saw a guy without his shirt on and it looked like he had a six pack, but some fat was coming out. What a contradiction because I wanted to give him a thumbs up.

Anyway I'm noticing that I don't want to get carried away in some lustful attention with dating someone. I'd rather let love develop naturally with someone I meet. Currently, I just feel good about someone. Hey this is my blog, and people are reading it. I just can't blurt out names now, come on!

I'm insecure about mentioning those names on here with this blog. Oh come on, one would say? Spill. Yeah right, unless I'm filled with contempt and trying to talk bad about someone on purpose. Then people would be like "Hold that thought." Which one is better? It depends one might say, but the power of attorney with the keyboard belongs to me on this blog right now.

Maybe Like Others

I hate being impulsive and not thinking things straight through. Fortunately from being a person who likes to keep to himself, I haven't really been a creep to anyone. Now that I'm going to get even by doing the same thing they did to me. Well, okay when the situation isn't that serious. I don't really get road rage, but dumb drivers exist like everybody knows that already.

It's back to my winning attitude but being less stupid this time around and not so weird. I'm actually funny, but at least it seems sort of smart.

I Can Give A Hard Time

I know how to give some people who I feel bothered by a really hard time. The hard thing that I'm having a hard time with is not giving them a hard time. I don't want to go overboard basically because I don't want to look stupid over a situation that isn't fortunate for me, but petty.

One of my few excuses that I can fight formidably with is just being sarcastic and using humor. Actually that's not the only thing I can use. I have pretty good memory to the point that it looks like I didn't let go of it. If I couple that with humor and sarcasm and then load it up, I'm basically being a happy brat to them.

I'm not really that bad to deal with once I vent and let go, so it's pretty hard to see that for people who are struggling in life.

Solving Past Puzzle

I've pretty much made up my mind with something in my past and there's no going back now. The thing that I can bring to the table is just mainly humor. I can shout and yell all I want and act pretty bad to get my satisfaction of relieving my frustrations, but what's that going to amount to if I just keep doing that and not letting it progress.

With these personal experiences I had and what I've done to overcome them, it's actually pretty cool to report. In the past posts that I haven't really removed yet, I've been writing negative about some group of people to just make fun of them. I even messaged them passive aggressive messages to get under their throat which I successfully did. I just wasn't satisfied from all of that because my anger issues weren't going away.

I just mainly counter punched what they did to me, by doing what they did to me back at them. I've even cautioned about doing it to them as serious remarks. It's been a total game changer. I have yet to try talking to them about how I'm better than them in a funny way and feel good about it. I'm only going to say that for negative things they to me that I think are too far-fetched to do back at them. Later on, it could get so bad that I do end up doing the same thing that they did back at them. I will have at least warned them, so I don't have to feel a guilty conscience about acting in that manner and still call them people who are "weak sauce."

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Not Really Insecure About My Height

My height is only 5' 3" and after having consistently been around taller women in groups, I'm just starting to not put that much thought into it. Also the whole narrow-mindedness of wanting to only date pretty girls is starting to get a wee bit flimsy.

When I look at it, love conquers all! Yeah, so a person being intimate with his or her spouse is something very nice and has to come from within. I'm starting to see that, and I'm not entirely judging very heavily classed ladies who might reach well-over 300 pounds.

It's pretty much insecurities that I'm dealing with. I'm not going to be a boyfriend ever because I'm too short. Maybe not! Maybe it was just me rejecting a girl who was about 200 pounds. She was really interested in me and sort of stalking me on Facebook and texts.

I was very insecure going out with her because she's also taller than me. Maybe a heavy girl doesn't care so much about a guy being shorter than her. Wrong! She said it's about a guy who can carry himself well. I just bought her meals and she just fell quickly in love with me or sort of. I was like not interested and so insecure so things never took off.

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Continuously Trying To Do This

My mind has now been made up and I'm totally confident that while I'm angry I'm still going to be able to get what I want or move on while coming up on top with some incident. Fortunately, the situations I've found myself in are petty. I can go after making intelligent conversations now.

Despite some advice from a conflict adverse person telling me to drop something and let it go, I'm chasing after something really good and there's nothing wrong with that. Since this is my blog, no one will really bother commenting on here because it's probably just a waste for people to look at in general. Oh yeah, I also removed commenting privileges on here as well, so what a drag.

This is what happens and it's human nature and is something that can be visible to be entertaining for others to marvel about. With the topic of discussions not being that serious, the emotions of going crazy don't really have to seen in that manner in likewise manner. However, I do think that those individuals I crossed paths with should really think about talking to an anger management therapist. I don't think it's healthy that they exhibit some anti-social behaviors especially when it could be of benefit to bond in a nice manner and socialize to develop into a more successful and charismatic individual. It's sort of setting yourself up for failure if you let something selfish just make you act like a boor.

Well, it would make you more likable if you could work things out. Going for that isn't really selfish and being irritated about that not happening isn't really such a bad thing after all. It's a natural human drive to work at getting along with one another and it's something that I possess.

Getting Back Into Shape

For the time being, I'm actually at the best shape of my life. Seeing a legit six pack on my abs is such a motivator for me and something that gives me encouragement. Also my weight easily drops after I gain a few pounds. I'm loving the fast metabolism that I've worked naturally hard for.

I think a lot of it has to do really do with just consistency. I must have finally got around to being a self-motivated type person. The one of the things that really helps me a lot is that I take a heavy fitness class that's just loaded with crazy and difficult exercises. I work out hard in them and surrounded by beautiful women as well. I mean it hasn't really been about the women. It's been like a healthy morning routine for me. I just do it naturally without putting that much thought into it. I'm not complaining as long as I get my work out in on those mornings.


Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Pretty Much How It's Going

I think I'm going to write a song about some girl named Annie to help get my mind off of her. It would be helpful to not really have to think about her. The crazy part about all this is that I think she's the root of my problem and she never really played any active role to my eyes, as strange as it seems.

Oh well. I guess I'll write a poem and try not to be lackadaisical about it.

Dear Annie,

You walked the way you should. Maybe I could have showed you the way.
Life is tough and sad as it seems. Don't cry. Don't cry.
It's the heart of the hour. Where we choose our path to the unknown.
Through the trials we are just human. Make all of this better?

Only thought you've had my love. It's tempting to rekindle.
Yet it's time to move on with our lives. Missed timings won't ever come on back.
It's just too bad. We had something going between us.
The inner souls from both of us were racing for a better enlightenment.

So let's come to our senses.
And reach for the stars.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Fixing Routine

Instead of going to work everyday, I really would like to find a really chill income source where the money would just work for me and I could just use the time to find something else to do. I would rather be sad and worried about having nothing to do while a rich man than being poor with no options!

The profession I've chosen is being a swing trader. This type of traders doesn't really need to put in that much work and maybe like twenty minutes top each day for making pretty steady income while gaming their respective markets. How is it done? Is it really hard?

All traders have their personal style and views of how they want to trade the market. Roughly, 90% of them are pretty much losers and can't really gain anything out of it. It's really difficult and that's all I can say. Finding materials to read and to polish up your trading skills is really difficult, but I have to say that I've spent a lot of money trying to hire some so-called expert to figure it out. I've been influenced by those experts but don't even know what the heck they are talking about, so I prefer to do it on my own. Well, I've learned the 2% rule and to go for making optimally at least 6% profit of your balance.

Those rules are worth like $10000 and I'm giving it away for free! It's just that it's not that easy to do, but that's the general idea to start with. Yes, it's incredibly difficult but I feel like this is really going to be my starting point of business for my bread and butter and then possibly diversifying my portfolio later into stocks, options, and other investment strategies.


Monday, August 15, 2016

Heheheh

I'm texting female friends now. They actually get back to me! Especially the girls who are more along the lines my type. Alright I just need to try to play the game of introducing myself and trying to spot that mutual attraction with the girl I think I would be into. Then, I guess it might take a long time.

This is all I'm really going to say. I really need to think more along the lines of being a better person.

Let's get this party started.
We only have all night.
You be the one to lead.
Laughing through the tango.
You just might be the one.

Making up an electronica dance song. Boosh boosh! Just kidding. I can imagine the sounds in my head.

I'm also #1 on this blog site for my job category. Oh yeah! Consistency pays and I've only averaged one post a day for the last I don't like 5 years. I'm like the only one to do that, so that makes me totally unique and deserving to give myself that self-title of being #1 on the search list for computer science bloggers. Check it out, click on my link at the top of this blog site.