Saturday, August 1, 2015

Funny Message

I have been exchanging e-mail with someone I have suspected to be a con artist but never could gather enough information to come to that conclusion. I ended up just doing the logical thing, which is putting the person at an ultimatum. It just felt appropriate at the time. This is her reply back to me.

The subject the person wrote to me is: I am wondering if you will ever respond to my email

Finally figured out how to change the font here to default. Takes a little work. Okay, the person sounds a little bit of a foreigner and educated about religious values. Here's the message I got back:

"​Humm...Well a better the devil you know than the devil you don't know. Nobody is perfect and your words are Highly Insultive. I am no more Interested in coming to you and please have you way and continue your loving life with your new found lover.  Please do not write me anymore, You are the unstable as water, You promised me you helped me with the account and you changed your word. 

BYE PLEASE DO NOT WRITE ME NO MORE."

Notice she asked me to open up a bank account for her with my name on it. I don't know why, but I was interested in seeing her first to check out my initial feelings of "Is this for real?" I tried to make it seem like I would be interested because there was that .001 % of me that wanted to believe it to be true. However, I couldn't guarantee her anything or do much but just write to her. Maybe the first sentence shows her manipulative nature, so I shouldn't really be interested in messing with this person. I'm going to respect her wishes and the person wants me to have a great life with this wonderful woman I'm socializing with.




Friday, July 31, 2015

Leviticus 13:29-35

Verse 29 literally doesn't even finish in a sentence. I should end it here for the day. Just kidding. Verse 30 says that God commands the priest needs to examine a sore on a man or woman's head. The man could even be trying to hide the leprosy in his beard, but it might look a little too obvious when it's too late. If the sore is deeper than the skin and a thin yellow hair appears then it's called the condition of scaly leprosy. The man or woman with the condition immediately becomes declared unclean.

However in Verse 31, if the scaly sore isn't deeper than the skin then there's still a chance for the man or woman who is about to quarantined. Wouldn't it be great to be a little kid who hates school and other kids' annoying chatter? The man or woman gets the isolation treatment for a full week. In Verse 32, the priest examines it again after the time has passed. I don't see how the priest is immune to those germs, but okay. I also notice that the Bible doesn't mention the priest has to examine a woman in other parts of the body at her behest or disapproval! That's great, noting that leaves out one half of the population to worry about. Just kidding.

In Verse 32, if the priest finds that sore is not deeper than the skin with no yellow hair in it, then the hair needs to be shaved off, minus the spot that has the scale. I guess this is to make it more easier to spot or because maybe there were some issues with damaging the flesh; I don't really know, I'm not a doctor and did not even try. It would be something to not try to laugh at when a beautiful woman has to shave her head. Verse 33 says that a second week of isolation goes on again. This is the first time reading I think that goes on longer for one week while dealing with leprosy!

Verse 34 says that after all of that mess, if the scale is not deeper than the skin and has not spread then the person is pronounced clean. What a way to go! Oh, also the person needs to do some laundry. It's a nice thing that it's not much of a hassle to have a machine that does the hard work for us. I'm still feeling a little lazy to push the button every once in awhile.

Enjoying Peacefulness

Everyday I feel like not blowing up, but I let my mind wander off into an abyss of stressful times! I don't know why I put that, so I am just saying that it is what it is. I'm actually laughing to myself and breathing in short and uncontrollable bursts of those feel good muscles inside of me. Yeah, I'm getting a mental workout and enjoying my day from trying to not laugh so hard on the outside.

 I'm catching myself in the act of doing something I shouldn't more often, so I'm working at doing that on a long term basis even with no one around me. What I've been now thinking to myself is that with this God-given precious time that's been laid out for me in this world, why do I have to waste time doing something that doesn't even make any sense!

To protect the world from devastation. To unite all people in something. This team will lead the way! I forgot the whole motto, but I do still want to be the very best like no one ever was. To catch them all would never really be my quest.

Enough Magic the Gathering?

I am really fond of playing my heart out with Magic the Gathering. Maybe I should really think about going on the competitive circuit with it when I'm a millionaire! I can buy all the expensive cards I need and have all the time in the world to challenge the top players for some moolah on the line.

It sounds a little silly I know, but I can't really help myself. I'm really drawn to the card game and like the style and format of it, whether I keep winning or losing. I guess it gets boring when I keep on winning. The losing part makes me uncomfortable and coming back for more while adjusting my style and changing cards to update my strategies.

Anyhow, I have one deck that I stole online (that's right) by reading up on the official website. They basically gave it away, so I feel a little sheepish and try to beat it all the time. The deck I obtained from that website pretty much beats every single deck that's out there. If we play about five times, I'm bound to win at least twice. It doesn't matter what cards the person has, it's just that good of a deck. Well, I found my champion deck with the help of the site, which doesn't feel like much of an accomplishment! I've been still playing at it for hours everyday because I am always in denial and having fun playing myself who is playing that deck and trying to introduce original play. I actually like playing other players better though. Sometimes, no one is available so I end up doing that.

From playing others, it's actually giving me the idea to use certain cards in my deck while understanding its effectiveness.

Gotta Hit The Gym

I really need to go pump some iron man and run the treadmill, which I haven't done in a few weeks. This is just for my own sake. I also want to be in tip top shape and be able to compete in Iron Man's even if I'll finish in last place while qualifying!

I don't care about being in the spotlight. Finishing a crazy triathlon like that is good enough for me to say that I have enough athleticism to go where I need to when there's a call for it!

How It Looks

I'm finding out that even though I don't like my job that much, I've been very busy with it lately. My plans are to pretty much save up my money and invest it. That's all I really have going for me now I guess.

I don't really want to work in general, so why go to school in the first place? I might as well just go for my goal of being a millionaire with what I have going for myself right now. Maybe, I'll go finish my master's later in life when work has gone pretty slow and there's nothing much to do.

I'm thinking that in a matter of few years, I will have enough money from doing my own side business to be able to call it quits now. I really have the tenacity for it and I also enjoy it even though it feels a little stressful sometimes. It's a really unique way of earning a living and that's what I like to call it.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Starting To Pay Attention Better

I'm realizing that my head likes to go off in a different direction, no matter what the situation is. I can learn to take in the emotional punches and feeling down in life or being super pumped up and in a crazy mood! That being said, my mind just feels smart in that it has memories of so much pain dealing with people. I actually sort of like to be recognized for some reason by my peers. I want them to be well-pleased by me, so when I get angry it's like I'm going off in a direction of forcing them to be happy with me.

It's funny because I can make it work now. The reason is because this is going to cripple my fake enemies if they read this or don't. It's because I have a strong, passionate will to be positive with them by wanting to be their friend even though I think they are retarded! They are wrong because they can't handle their personal feelings and end up doing anti-social things at a personal level to another person.

Yeah, so from me writing that, it's crippled all the people in the world who has ever had a bad fallout with me, which is practically nobody. They just went into remission with me. I understand that it's so obvious and basic at the surface that I don't even mention it at times because I'm looking for more complicated things, but it shouldn't be like that. If you use the boring coincidences to have it your way, it's actually necessary.

Job Thought

The closest field of my interest deals with Information Technology. I'm going for a Master's in it right now. The only purpose for getting this job is because it's about increasing my earnings while doing something that I like doing to the maximum amount. It's pretty much the only logical reasoning that I can come up with for doing so.

I don't like my current job right now, but I am a whiz with using the computer for some things. I don't really like going to a 9 to 5 pm job in general. I want to have all the time in the world to do things that I am interested in. I am constantly reassessing the things that I'm preoccupied with.

Writing More Smoother

Seriously, I'm finding the heart to keep on going in an optimistic manner these days. From feeling something negative, I actually use that feeling to push myself into a positive direction again. There are some things that are definitely out of my control and nothing I can really do about it. I mean, I can improve my state of being for the moment, but it's only going to be so long before I need to release it.

I can only take precautions with myself and try to avoid an unlikable circumstance. I only have so much control that my body can give. I might be an above average person with the things I accomplish, but I really need to make some appropriate sacrifices so that I can ambitiously focus on greater outcomes.

Who am I kidding? I'm not really satisfied with something. That's why I'm continually going after it. Maybe if I were to break it down in little increments and decrease my wasteful activities even though those activities actually benefit me in some way. I know it's a contradiction, but I am gaining knowledge of useless facts. I guess it works in a way like that.

One of my friends was very confident in her abilities to remember things, but failed miserably to go where she wanted. She's beautiful and very successful. She seems like an untamed wild thing that goes around trying to micro-manage the most useless things. Anyhow, I'm just writing in an oxymoron fashion again.

Interesting Computer

My All-in-One PC ended up frying its hard drive. The hard drive is 2 TB, and it really bites another one's dust to lose my data in there. Maybe I can still save the data by trying something like LiveCD or just buy an external USB HD kit to check it out.

I remember as a kid that I hated and struggled with writing. I was a perfectionist and wanted to constantly smack myself for not being perfect. I was so slow, but when it came to math, I would bust out with speed and accuracy that surpassed my classmates. This is no lie, when I was in second or third grade, I used to solve simple addition and subtraction faster than everyone in my class. I would go back and forth with every one of my classmates by standing behind them. And then... this one black dude beat me! I was like errr, I tried even harder and he was my competition!

I got lazy overall because I ended up being in third place with everything. Life was good, until the unexpected happen. Anyhow, I'm noticing that I'm warming up a little better to the female crowd. I must actually be acceptable to females who are smaller than me. I don't know why but it's possible.

Doing Some Push-ups

At work, I'm taking a few minutes each day to do at least 40 push ups. I was so rusty because I used to be able to do about 60. I'm now back up 46 push ups, but it's probably going to go back down. It's no worries for me. It's funny how my body just got used to doing push ups after not having done them in a long time and knocking them out.

I really need to start hitting the gym and improving my fitness level. I also have so much resources for better my life-style, but I don't use them. They are treasures on my personal book shelf that I have placed and haven't got around to reading yet.

Starting To Tone It Down

I have been getting these crazy flashbacks of doing take downs with my past bullies. I know, how can they really be bullies if I imagine myself pinning them down and then saying "1-2-3, you lost!" I now figure that I don't really have to get so worked up from being all angry and in a bad mood now. I actually scare and can annoy people in an innocuous way when I'm seemingly acting crazy.

It's my big head with a memory for pain that's keeping me from continually doing something stupid. I don't like losing Facebook friends, no matter what happened. I ended up doing that by being defiant with a church group leader. I know where she went wrong. Besides making a sexist comment, she couldn't control her temper that well because she was shouting a lot of times. If she were to be calm, then she wouldn't need to shout and be giving a prissy fit. The way I'm being right is that I'm about maintaining a positive attitude and being her friend even though I think she's retarded.

Anyway from reading the Book of Ruth in the Bible which is only four measly chapters, I don't see how no one wouldn't be able to accomplish such a feat. From reading that book, it says something about Ruth wanting her next husband-in-line to wrap his skirt around her. Interesting, indeed because the Irish wore kilts and I don't know so much about the males of a Jewish culture having to wear a man's skirt! Oh well, it just means that Ruth proposed to him. That's pretty nice, to see the least. Having a really beautiful and humble walk in on your life one day with the support of her former mother-in-law.

This being said, the puzzle all adds up because Ruth's next husband was the ideal man in general. Okay, I feel like I'm getting a ring on my finger someday. It's like my left ring finger is feeling hotter with a burning sensation more than any other. It feels like a premonition for some odd reason I won't reveal...


Something Very Good

Honestly, I think where my path should be going is where I've been planning myself all this time. I've found a very particularly useful website and that's the commentaries section of BibleHub. It has all the well-known commentaries that are around and from reading it for an explanation, it gave me a better grasp of what's going on through the context of the verses.

I'm really reading verse by verse and chapter by chapter and then to book by book. I'm planning on doing this for the rest of my life. I don't care how many times I've read it, I'll just keep on abusing my time to read it. Reading it in King James version was actually pretty fun and seemed a little painless. I'm used to dreading the thought of reading, but having gained a better skill for reading, I have been enjoying the benefit.

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Recap

I have practically been saying that I will be doing stuff, but actually I don't get around to doing it. The only things I've been really doing is going to work, hanging out with my best friend, and then wasting away my precious time with doing other things.

I'm going to make myself a small promise. The only accountability I really have is just my own honor while allowing God to be my witness. I'm just writing it down because it helps stick better to my memory from forcing on applying myself.

It's basically one thing and it's really about controlling myself and getting a grip of my negative emotions while I'm feeling really woozy. I can just feel like things are not going well for me and that I'm having a really hard time and things are just not going smooth for me. It's just a feeling while my mind is fixated on doing something that feels really good like Magic: the Gathering!

There's actually a geeky community for playing that card game and a lot of young men play it. I think there are a few women who are crazy about it too. I met a few in high school. My deck was a troll deck and made people mad. No one wanted to play with me, but I was so competitive and wanted to always win!

I now have about 10 decks that I can play with. I've been putting a little too much time into it as a hobby. It's definitely a luxury that I should put aside for greater things ahead of myself.

I guess making sacrifices is a requirement and you can't always be fully happy in life.



Saturday, July 25, 2015

Dedication

I notice there are three steps to ensuring a good life. The first one is planning, the second is dedicating, and the last step is reassessing yourself.

I'm practically great at planning and reassessing myself but I stink at being a dedicated person. I think it's great to add the Lord's wisdom through the Holy Spirit in each of these steps. To be able to have a sharper mindset for the things of the Lord, it's important to study God's Word and have it planted in your heart. It's not uncommon for believers of the Lord to become better servants from spending time with these little QTs. It's hard to do and I'm no exception. I just like talking and defending about how it's good to do, even though I don't always get to it.

What I'm noticing for myself is that I need to cut out the excess because I have planned for myself so many good things. It feels rather empty at times because I think I'm trying to kick out the Lord or when I do invite Him in, I still don't feel like going after my wonderful plans. I think it's just from feeling lazy or tired and wanting to pass the moment with doing something fun.

From reassessing myself with doing all that fun stuff, it feels like really cheap thrills and I'm not liking it that much. I'll try to complete all my goals in one setting and then reassess myself and see how I like it.

I really loved it when I earned a 100% and 99.9% grade on my graduate courses. I was feeling great about it.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Dreaded Feeling of Procrastination

From accumulating things and putting it aside, my table just gets really messy and I just leave stuff lying out there. It really gets distracting after awhile and even though I don't want to do it sometimes, I just have to man up and get it over with. This is how I feel my job is like sometimes.

Having developed some growth in the Lord for some interesting reason, my heart seems to be more at peace and capable of being patient while I go after things. My mind just feels really disoriented while I'm doing stuff I'm not accustomed to and don't have a heart for, so I guess it feels scary in a sense to get something done occasionally.

Anyway, I just started hacking away at the stuff that's been accumulating on my table. I feel so much more relief now that I don't have much remaining on there. I still have a lot to accomplish, but I'm more open to focusing on those things now. It's like I need to engage in a playful state for a little bit of time before I can recall my passion and energy for getting stuff done.

My main reason for actually writing on here today is because I noticed that I have an interest for reading now. I'm not really picking up on anything or very little to please my mental taste bud but it sure darn is cool to try to read fast and understand everything while going 100 miles an hour with engaging in literature and being distracted at the same time with drama that's going on in my head!

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

List of Things To Accomplish

I guess by trusting in God, it's eliminating a lot of my actions that come from panicking and desiring something crazy.

Eventually, I will become an online poker pro. The way to master it is sort of my little secret that I am going to keep to myself. The same goes with doing some online trading. The hard work I put into from naturally researching and reading up on books from talented people really combines my own personal effort to mastering those crafts.

In the meantime, I'm going for a Master's degree and aiming for a job that I will be happy doing daily until I reach my ultimate goal of financial independence!

I do feel burnt out sometimes and that's probably what causes me to start wasting time by doing light activities. I think I just need to pray to the Lord to fill me with His wisdom from the Holy Spirit when that happens and to just keep on pushing.

I have some chores that I need to accomplish too, but I need to keep some a secret so I'll just keep a private journal for those related matters.

Depending On God

I'm noticing that my crazy feelings are trying to separate my own personal rationale on some mornings. It's just a blend of stress and uneasiness. I think it's pretty much a withdrawal symptom from keeping myself in dealing with addictive material like playing video games or watching funny T.V. shows.

I'm starting to understand what it means to depend on God for all my needs and desires. Instead of going an improper way, it would be better to be patient and conduct myself in the ways of the Lord. By trusting upon the Lord in those slightly difficult moments, I can keep a steadfast heart and keep myself from falling short so often than I don't want to. The Bible says that believers can make plans for things to happen, but the Lord will ultimately direct the footsteps.

Leviticus 13:24-28

Leviticus 13:24 talks about how the priest needs to examine the skin for leprosy after it has been burned by fire on the condition that the burn turns into a bright, reddish-white, or white spot. Verse 25 states that if the hair of the bright spot has turned white and appears deeper than the skin, then it's a leprous sore and the person is pronounced to be unclean.

Well, that's pretty crazy. I guess leprosy will cause the hair of the skin to sink in. Verse 26 states that if the priest cannot find white hairs on the bright spot and isn't deeper than the skin while having faded then the person needs to be isolated for seven days. In a way, it seems like the person is being quarantined temporarily. Verse 27 says that if the spot has spread all over the skin then it is a leprous sore and the person is made to be unclean. Verse 28 states that if the bright spot stays in only one place then it's just going to be a scar.