Friday, February 5, 2016

Being Made Alive And Well

It's pretty crazy how just trying to learn the meaning of two Bible verses while googling for it led me to have a better reverence for the Lord. I guess that can seriously be food for the soul, especially with some verses that I continuously neglected to read because I just saw the same thing over and over again.

Maybe, the Bible is just like that intentionally because it's like one day, that when you do see something that you don't understand because it's just constantly something you are reading that you will go find the answer and that when you do, it's voila! It's more like French for "I got it!"

The Bible even though it feels dry and boring sometimes and empty and like nothing is coming out of it from just being human, it's really deep in its meaning and takes some humility to accept that God's nature really can win tormented souls, which can find rest in this desolate and conflicting world.

Also, I just love having this quick search engine that is connected to the Internet. It's providing me resources for finding information just so quick. I think because of the Internet being like the 8th Wonder of the World or something, people can allow themselves to live in a better place. The Internet isn't God or anything, but really more like a non-human servant which can powerfully assist with achieving reachable dreams. To sum it up in my opinion, the Internet is a searchable database of information, a source of personal entertainment, or for buying and selling things!

Tying Experience With People and Bible

My tumultuous relationships with people are petty and nothing really that significant. I guess I had a problem with wanting to resolve the problem peacefully, but the others who I ended up going up to just had a hard time with me trying to talk to them about it! It would end up with them getting a neurotic panic attack and then they would just go off with trying to bat me away.

Because of this, I wasn't really understanding what was going on, but what mattered to them is that I was just bothering them no matter how much I conveyed my nice agenda with them. Basically, I'm just getting that they haven't made the effort to personally resolve it, can't let go of what I did to bother them, and just don't want to be reminded about it because they have other things they want to worry about. Like I said, they are just neurotic people. I triggered one of their bad qualities from texting them while I was incredibly ticked off about something not so important.

It's funny and all. It's also not a bad thing to leave them alone and let them try to move on from it without any involvement. I guess now that I'm more informed from my own dating experiences and research, I should be successfully evading something like that with other important relationships. Resolving the conflict is something I could be a lot more creative about and have a lot of fun with, but only if they want to put me on the spot.

Leviticus 14:24- 25

It's been a long time since revisiting the Bible and I'm finding out how hard it really is to continue writing about it. Hats off to the believers who do dedicate themselves to willingly study the Scriptures and apply a closer walk with the Lord. I guess I personally like listening to the Word and reading up on some devotions, but attempting to do this just out of the blue is a lot more hindering than I thought.

So in verse 24, the priest takes a lamb for the trespass offering and a log of oil (less than half a pint) and then a wave offering was done. I read up one interpretation which states that they were pretty much offerings presented as though it were for the Lord, but then later became the sole possession of the priests.

Basically, doing some Google searches and trying to read up on some of these crazy passages that I don't understand really helped clear a little bit of confusion for me. Verse 25 states that the priest ends up killing the lamb of the trespass offering, takes some of the blood, puts it all on the right side the person's ear, thumb, and big toe who is to be cleansed.

Wow, I have been totally ignoring what this meaning is about putting the blood on ear, thumb, and toe. I've been reading up on how it symbolizes that God's words are heard, the hand symbolizes action, and the foot is the pilgrimage of life. The blood symbolizes life and death. This is crazy in that the right side is just another way for saying that it's the better and good side in the Bible, rather than being evil.

Putting it all together, this ceremonial practice just means that the ears, hand, and foot represent the whole body and it is about having a full dedication to the Lord's ways. In a way, it feels like re-committing to the Lord again and I guess if the heart was really for it after admitting one's sins, the Lord was just more than happy to forgive the sinner. The Lord doesn't really keep count, just like how Jesus told Peter to forgive someone seven times seventy, which is a figure-of-speech for infinity!

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Personal Goals

I have yet to accomplish everything I have listed on my phone in a day. I really would like to knock those tasks off my list and see how good I feel about accomplishing everything I have set for just personal reasons.

I guess my main goal is as always being a millionaire with a six pack with a strong relationship for the Lord and a beautiful and fulfilling Christian wife. Once I have that agenda, then man, I'm on fire!

Oh yeah, I need to try that growing taller stretches too and see if it will make me bigger. I'm starting to see that it's not really making a difference to whether I'm taller or not because I'm starting to develop this inner confidence from just being me. Like I don't have a mental ruler in my head that looks like at short I am constantly whenever I am by myself. 

Occasionally, I still feel that sorrow of someone being taller than me. For another, it could be from being a bald man and wanting his hair back again. Something about our appearances that we want to change to improve. Like my mom says, it's all genetics and can't be helped. Thanks Mom!

If I have short kids who hate being small, then I'm going to help them do those growing taller exercises and put them on a nice diet of drinking milk! Hopefully, no kid of mine is lactose-intolerant. For a backup plan, I'm going to develop their self-confidence of who they are and train them how to be nice and sociable people others wouldn't mind being around. 

I guess it solves a lot of issues because it's mainly all in the attitude and I feel very self-confident. I think it's helping me a lot to have an outgoing friend or two who does not mind texting me back everyday. It's really building my patience and grit of letting go of personal worries with being rejected by others. As long as I don't message someone, when I'm feeling really mad and negative about the situation, I'm actually good. 

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Getting Back Into It

This post is more about the stuff that I need to lay off of instead of going back into. I should lay off a little more on playing video games and start thinking about how I will be a Christian woman's best friend because the woman I'm referring to will be someday my wife!

Now that's an original idea, wouldn't you say? In the space of nothingness, that's what I see but what I don't see is how everybody else is going to react. Is this still playing with fire? No, it isn't. It's because it can be controlled, as long as you are at peace while writing.

One of the biggest elements I have learned about writing is that it's important to not let a super crazy and negative drive take control of how you want to view things. I'm glad I picked up on that personal lesson just in time!

Knowing What Immature From Mature Is

I'm just showing off with this post. I'm an adult now and I can discern what's politically appropriate, just like anybody else can. It feels good in general, well, not really. It's all just a natural part of being just well - it's just like being an "I am" therefore I think-type of deal.

I really don't know where I'm going with this post. I thought I try out something random, but I'm trying to push a different direction because I feel obligated to catch up with my posts. I'm on a good start because last month I completed 31 posts, which averages out to just 1 post everyday on this blog. Yeah, now that's really something isn't it? Okay, it's not really spectacular or anything, but at least it makes me feel good right? Okay, I'm like half-asleep while I'm writing this so I can't even move my imaginary muscles of my head to make myself think that I'm laughing. Pretty weird isn't it?

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Becoming Consistent

Let's see, I'm going to try something.

Watching games on TV, it was so-so. Watching anime for a little bit, it was great, but what about using that time for something better? Okay check.

Reading up on near death experiences and other crazy, mystical stuff that tries to use science. Awesome! It made me tired and I had to sleep and then I finished reading up on it.

I'm still a young pup and reading can bring me up to speed! The Lord is number one in my life so He's the only one I really need to go to for support and I can just get used to that, while using my daily walk as a platform for obeying His commands and to gain better understanding of His ways in them and to carry them out.

Fixing Concentration

I think the best way to work on my concentration when I just want to be not at my best game and distracted with other stuff, is to just read more. I think reading is the best way to cure my disease for not being able to concentrate for long periods of time.

Also for secondary purposes, I think it's good to work out as well too and try out healthy projects just to keep yourself busy. I guess keeping the self busy and trying to go out of your own to meet more people can be fun. Getting rid of social anxiety is important too, so it can all add up in the end.

Friday, January 29, 2016


I feel like meh when it comes to trying to guess a woman's age now.

I don't feel like asking because she might get offended. A girl says don't ask what a girl's age is. I don't do it twice.

With some girls who are my friends, I ask them away and they don't care. It's like the ones you are dating, you can't really ask what their age is! Oh man, what a double standard. Some girls I have hung out with asked me what my age is. I asked what hers was and she said, "No, don't ask a girl!"

Meh, sometimes the same girl can look young and other times her face looks like it's been aging quite a bit. It seems like a girl who says she's around her twenties are attractive looking and seem to look around my age, but when I look at a lady who is like around my age, man I see a huge difference in age wrinkles and everything.

It's now just meh when it comes to dating women based on their age. If she reveals her age for me, then great, but if I fall hopelessly in love with her and find out she's like 65 with a body of a gorgeous 30 year old, what can I really do?

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Probably the Reason for Being Treated Okay

When I see people, I see faces and not my own face. I have my own perfect vision so far to work with and my eyes are like wide-awake and feel innocent about stuff and just this pleasant feeling inside of me just wants to rise out of me!

It's like, I get this feeling of hey, I'm actually doing this every once in awhile! I can't like constantly have a mirror in front of me and see myself. I just have this personal conscience; it's actually something I've come to accept. I'm not really feeling so hampered anymore and neither am I feeling really self-limited.

Concentration At Work

What is killing me a little is that my mind doesn't want to be focused at work, so I have to force myself to let out the stupid things that constantly want to keep me occupied. There are a lot of good stuff that I treasure and will linger in my head as well, but I need to learn to push it aside so that I can perform at my maximum potential and be a great asset to a company that I feel blessed to be a part of.

I feel like a kid, so it's a bummer! I wish I studied my hardest all throughout high school and got into a great school and just naturally developed a great sense of concentration that goes beyond the amount of two, average people put together!

Well, it's too late and I can't look back and build a time machine to make some angry people think differently about me. I'm not going to back it up with any more details, but I can say that I finally moved on from it and wish them the best without any animosity or ill-will.

An Area of Regret

I made a promise to God that I want to go back on now. The saying goes from the Bible, it is to be careful about what you solemnly swear to the Lord. One guy in the Old Testament ended up burning his beautiful daughter to the stake because he made a promise to God that he would sacrifice the first thing he saw for the Lord. Maybe his dog should have ran past his daughter, but that's a really sad story.

I made this promise and now I feel like regretting it! My promise is to make a million dollars and get a six-pack and then visit a church that feels antsy about me being there. I'm just going to tell them what I'm doing and just walk out.

Yeah, I have been struggling with this inferiority complex of feeling short at the height of being only 5' 3" but yet everybody doesn't seem to really mind my short height. I don't seem to get discriminated because of my height, and I have even offended people from the stuff I wrote to them unwittingly and scared some too!

Basically, I can't go back on this promise I made to God because it's like hard wired in me to become a successful millionaire and get a six-pack. I have a decent job and plenty of time to practice my skills for becoming a financially independent and wealthy person.

Better Time Management

The area of time management is something I have slightly struggled with. I have been working out and losing like 8% body fat in the last twenty days which isn't that bad. I am just filled with a lot of energy as well right now.

The few areas I would like to fix are pretty much just eliminating the small amount of time I spend watching T.V. which is mainly for the reruns of all the major sports that are played. I guess I can stop munching on beef jerky now while just sitting there and looking at games especially when I can just check up the scores of who won and lost. It's pretty much a done deal already for me, so I don't really know why I still want to be entertained from watching games where I know the outcome sometimes.

My Ego

I have a really big, goody two-shoe ego with myself. I look down on others who argue with me and can bother them to the point that they don't want to talk about something with me. I have realized that I don't really need to associate with those negative and anger-provoking people.

I'm starting to become so much smoother in communicating and it's just going with the flow these days with being like a nice force of nature. I say a lot of things sometimes really vague that need to be clarified. Some of the things I say can literally tick people off. It's really best for me to not to talk about those situations anymore because I realize that I am the stronger person and can live like that while letting them go.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Becoming Better At Texting

I have had some rough beginnings in socializing with people through text messaging. Sometimes, individuals just have a hard time not letting themselves get worked up and just like to go crazy with their beliefs and try to act like a force of nature. In other words, they just get super mad and not admit to it. I have like the ultimate defense now in that I can say they have an inferiority complex out of my height and just keep talking about that as my focal point. It's a pretty hard defense to do because it seems like I am ridiculing myself, so it requires a lot of sense of humor, confidence, and humility to pull off a justification like that on anybody who is just flaring.

Another thing to do could be just letting time pass on by and then talking to them about it again. If they are still worked up over it, you can just make fun of them about not letting go of the past. Basically, the best course of attack is just being a nice person and communicating about how you don't care what they did and wanting to still be friends with them. This is like throwing a curve ball because you can say stuff about how crazy they are, and they won't be able to do anything back at you, and they will be left speechless. Also, they are not going to want to do anything with you because they would be afraid of hurting you, so it all works out for the better balance in nature! 

Okay, so I have gained a good load of experience and I have this high level of comfort with communicating properly now and approaching my ways of texting sentences by not going too far these days. In a way, I've been learning more proper etiquette from dealing with sensitive people and having put with stupid things that they were about doing. I was oblivious but now I'm ready to be like a tour de force.

Setting Goals for Hard Things Might Be Worth It

I have these crazy goals of mine that never get tiring to achieve. My main desires are basically what I have saying all the time and will continue repeating, becoming a millionaire with a six-pack and having a close Biblical fellowship with God while married to a beautiful and fulfilling Christian wife!

I guess it's not hard for everybody to want that. It's just that how strong is the desire and confidence of the people to obtain those things. It seems like a lot of people would rather benefit off of me being their friend more than them going through the pains of life to obtain what they want.

It's hard and I understand that, so it sort of makes me laugh these days when I'm feeling really stable in my life when others are having a hard time and expressing it in some way with me. I mean it's not hard for me to try to be a friend to them and help them out in the best way possible. I guess that's why it's really important for me to always be a stable person and not act out in my anger and aggression which will always be tempting for me because I could screw somebody up badly from his or her own perspective.

Back To My Roots

I'm once again reminded of not playing poker for money because you have to sit there, and it does give me the feeling of things being tedious. I prefer the currency and stock trading environment because I can just sleep while letting it make money for me and then I can go off and try other activities that I think would be fun or interesting to try.

Right now, I'm looking to be a profitable currency trader on my own without really anybody helping me out. I just have my own way of wanting to do things. If I can make that happen, then I want to expand the knowledge upon about learning to deal with stocks as well. This is going to be a longer journey than I thought for my dream to achieving my status of becoming a financially-independent millionaire.

Sour Trading Month

I guess I started out strong and then I blew my profit by trading so much over-zealously without even monitoring those trades. Instead of watching the market for what happened, I just let it ride and forgot about it completely and then the profit went back into the negatives! Fortunately, I'm just dealing with a demo account.

I've decided to trade aggressively with just nine pairs now instead of original twenty-four pairs I was looking at. It seems to make more sense because I would be working with the most common ones and reading up on the economies of countries that I'm actually most interested in getting updated about so I can make some sensible investments. It's back to square one for me again.

Simple Stuff

I'm actually trying to get stronger so I have really got myself into rock climbing. Once I did it a few times, it just became so much stuff that I just want to keep on doing it. I guess my personal life is getting more interesting because I'm doing stuff to just keep myself busy, instead of compromising with things that I don't really have much of a heart for anymore.

I do really need to work on a design document though for a project that I have in mind of doing with some friends. I'm going after creating a pretty funny app that others can enjoy! It's just really all about having fun and learning something cool off of it while working with a team. The idea just sounds really cool that I'm glad other guys in interested with helping out in it.