Thursday, October 30, 2014

Good Length of Time

Appearance isn't a factor anymore now. All I really care about is the person being female and in good healthy standing. If I were to fall in love with her later on, and she became sick, then I would sweat it out with her and probably be crying like there's no tomorrow if something happened to her.

This means if the female is like age 50 and weighs 300 pounds and has the height of like 5' 2", I'm not going to try to fish for her. That's pretty much my only limits to reasonable expectations- that's what draws the line for me in looking for a suitable life partner now.

The thing that I still get moody about underneath is if the girl is taller than me. It annoys me underneath and makes me not want to pursue a romantic relationship with her. However, I've been getting a little better at handling it. I made some mistakes with weird girls, but I guess that's my learning curve to go off of.

I have limits that I can't go beyond for controlling myself. It's how I grew up and chose to become. I can't fall back out of God's outstanding morals found in the pages of the Bible. I don't really care what criticisms I draw now because I can just joke my way out of there now.

I had the right state of mind for attracting certain types of women, but now I'm friends with the right type of girl and to just be cool and respect while not doing much. I'm going to have to be able to take in some friendly rejections now. There are ways to get around stuff, and that's what keeps me from getting depressed or so angry about my past developments.

I Guess This Is Good

No matter what others think, I guess if it's not getting me in trouble with the law and making me happy then that's good. The NBA's best player at the moment, Lebron James has some haters as well, but he is well-known to be a great basketball player. I mean who really wouldn't want him on their team if they could have him for any price?

We can go around judging and criticizing others, but when you perform really well at something, no one can really say anything back to you. Just being nice is what I actually like doing now because it brings me laughter underneath. I need to make fun of others who make me angry from having started something nonsensical with me. I need to laugh at those problematic individuals by being upfront with them, so I can maintain a sense of personal well-being.

What if that wasn't at my disposal, then would I survive still? The answer is, probably so, but I would be suffering massively with bouts of a little depression but a whole lot of anger! I think the common thing is to really just withdraw yourself from the world and not make yourself any common target of negative attention.

Well, I guess it's good then that I have a few good buddies to hang out with often and to just mess around with to have good laughs. Even if the number is small, the quality is good, so I can be happy with that.

Keeping It Simple

I'm going to let some excess out of my life then. It's not really making any sense for me, but I just keep on wasting my time mindlessly like it's a sin! I'm not really proud of myself from wasting my time during the week just like any average Joe would while growing fat and lazy. It's also about trying to find an edge to end my grudges, which I don't really call that anymore now. I'll just call it my angry habit of just staying angry because some person won't change him or herself.

Almost Caught Up

I guess I've been doing a lot of writing these past couple months basically talking about stuff I'm going to forgetting. It's like the main theme is really about keeping my manners under control and pursuing on living a happy life. It's also about being really honest at the same time as well.

I think I really have to just discipline myself better and become very patient.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Dealing With People

The people I focus the most on are the ones I feel most bothered by sometimes. For the most part, I like the honky dory feeling of getting along with people and just hanging out even if they are a little weird or rough around the edges.

My intentions with those passive aggressive people might be a waste of time. What I'm thinking about might be wrong. I'm thinking that I should stay nice and leave them alone. How is that even wrong? It's not, in fact, I'm just joking about it. Actually, I think it's funny being nice which took a while to figure out for me.

Taking it further and then putting in the long hours like getting unpaid for doing overtime or from running a home business! There's really no work being rewarded in the end. It's like trying to pass a video game that turned into a nightmare. There's really no value in the end, except for the annoying feeling that will never go away. Therefore, it's not something to get caught up over if they don't want you part of their life.

I'm a smart man and I realize it while not being that bad looking for a short male who doesn't even look short to begin with! It was even confirmed by a female who went nuts with me because she can't stand me as a person. What I'm seeing is that if I spend all of that time and make it valuable to the best of my ability, all I'm really getting is approval. Is it really worth that much time for me to focus in those areas with a person gone rouge? Why not just cut the time short and make fun of them and laugh and then move on, while flexing my brain muscles and showing off how much of a better person I am both internally and outwardly, while making them feel like I proved it already?

 Adding up all of that time and stress like a job that won't end up with you getting paid and taking a toll on your body, is it really worth it even though you are still going to be mad and never fully satisfied? I have a feeling that the end is about getting something selfish out of it, and I know it's wrong so I'm going to back away. I'll work out my emotional problems, but I'm a smart guy when it comes to making personal decisions.

My Goals

I want to get some six pack abs or what my parents say, some chocolate abs! The reason why the culture refers to them as chocolate is because it's shaped like one when the abs are so finely tuned. I think it would be awesome to become a bearer of one. I would be walking around with my shirt off a lot and be traveling to the beach and holding back a big grin!

It takes quite a bit of work and dedication. It's something that I have trouble with doing on a consistent basis. I get really motivated to play games when I'm bored and filled with a lot of tunnel vision. I'm not super good at those games, but if I were to hack it by practicing or looking up on solutions, then I could probably beat them most of the time. What gets really hard are those awesome and intense games that involve competing with others. Man, those games can get suspenseful and really frustrating to the point it becomes your life! It's like you'll never get enough of being the best and just have to consistently beat everyone until you are bored. What if you aren't lucky and don't ever win? I was like that with Starcraft for a long while.

I guess if those games are about playing to win until you are bored then it makes no sense in becoming a video game professional! I'm just wasting my time with mindless thoughts that I should have tossed out a long time.

Spiritual Things Over Fleshly Desires

This concept is really a faith-based idea, which is based on from what I know to be the Bible. I was accused of by someone a little out there that I bring a bad name to the Christians and to my workplace. I told the person that she can report me to those specific institutions, and they would be glad to take in her complaints.

I don't know why it doesn't really get to me and make me so mad. I mean I want to become like that but I was filled with this guilt about doing crazy and stupid stuff. I want to conquer those ungodly desires and communicate in a very satisfying manner. That's why I chose to make fun of her and laugh about all her flaws. She followed suit and fired some nasty jokes back at me, but I'm still laughing at some of the comments she wrote back to me. I ended up backing off because it got a little too out of hand, and she got me thinking how gross it would be if I had to make a baby with her.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Being Nice Even If Angry

I don't like envisioning myself doing crazy stuff while I'm uncontrollably angry. It just feels better to be funny about stuff and calm myself down to the point of being nice. I guess it really comes down to how comfortable I feel with the other person being dumb with me then.

I can see how I made a lot of insecure people show their true colors of becoming passive aggressive with me now. I should have just not talked about something. I'm not going to bring it up even if I feel like turning it into a discussion because I'm concerned about people's health. I'm only going to bring it up with people who have experienced it already with me and keep it to that level and not make it go any bigger.

One Area of Kryptonite

Superman's greatest physical weakness is always going to be kyrptonite, a fictional material from Superman's home of Kyrpton. I have one and I'm working at becoming more immune to it.

Okay, I might suffer from a few of them. I'm going to just try to stay nice even if a few others want to be passive aggressive with me. Even though I'm suffering and having a hard time with my emotions, I'm going to just live through them and go after what I think would make me happy and not try to make the same mistakes again. I might have a form of obsessive compulsive disorder in that I'll just keep doing the same thing because I feel emotionally reinforced to do something over again.

Maybe I should just go for doing the more sacrificial one, but take the opportunity for doing something that matters to me. I'm really considering on going to see a psychologist or something, but every time I think that, my mental symptom just gets up and walks away. Well, using humor has helped me a lot and kept me in wanting to stay healthy and nice with others.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Maybe It's Part of the Job

It's easy to want to just sit back and be entertained by other hardworking individuals. There was this beautiful girl I had a crush on with Facebook; she's still a friend but I sort of got bored with her appearance now. It seems like she's gaining a little weight, but like that really matters. The physicality isn't that important to me, but it seems like a good number of people still admire her funny or bold expressions.

I think sometimes having these worn out and lazy feelings while still working is a natural thing that you just have to overcome on a daily basis. Sure, it's probably normal to not want to put yourself through a pain-inducing workout on your body for a daily basis. Being baffled and angry underneath from having a hard time is also normal too. All of those negative and mixed emotions is just completely normal to have and to be able to work it out and still get through the day is what being human is about!

Working While Feeling Lazy

This is something that I feel a little too privileged about doing. I think I seriously need to prepare myself to be even better at the stuff I'm doing. I think becoming very efficient with the job that I'm trying to go after would eventually put me in a position to be at a very competitive edge. Yeah, I really like the idea of being better than someone and maintaining myself with a passion to always stay on top of the opposition.

I read a book about leadership, and it stated that a CEO of his company was given credit for boosting profit, but the people who worked for him and helped to make it happen didn't receive any compensation. They were told to do more better, instead of getting a pay raise. Those people ended up leaving the company and working for another competitor. Now, the company is struggling to even exist!

The book I read said that all men, big or small, are called to be leaders. Whether there's no one to lead or thousands, a man is called to take up natural responsibilities of leadership. It didn't really help me out a lot from feeling reluctant about taking up the mantel. I felt like it would be an entirely challenging and stressful task.

Working Harder

My mind is definitely at a lot of different places and gets very distracted often. I don't really like this mentality, so I'm going to try to do something about it. I don't really want to shut down on the weekends like one of my closest buddies does.

There are really a wealth of stuff to do with open groups and possibly in a 100-mile radius if you live in a privileged country. Just because a small group of weirdos turned passive aggressive with me and kicked me out of their group while being strange like that, it doesn't mean I should carry a grudge or a small piece of anger towards them still to this day. It was an extremely annoying experience because I don't believe in cutting off people like that, no matter how bad I felt they were being to me. I'm just different like that.

Am I fully cured now with the thoughts of still getting mad and crazy at them? With my intended actions of being violent, quite possibly! I don't want to be so honest because I want to still mess with them, but I'll be honest just because it works on my end really well. I hope they never try to take away my life or something from nothing so serious like that, but I just can't go after my own violent inclinations at them from being infuriated. It's because I know it's wrong to do and just fully don't believe in being that type of person.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Backup Plan

Yeah, whenever I get the itch to play card games or watch T.V. while I'm stressed out, I'm going to just try to stay focused still and take it more easy. I'm going to work at developing a stronger mind and more physical body. It's amazing with the type of person that I am and what I am so capable of doing, even when I'm crazy with mixed emotions running through my head.

I figure that I would be very competitive in the field of network engineering. I am a well-trained programmer from that being my background. I can pick up on other programming languages quite easily too, along with the fact that when they have visual interfaces with the mouse click and drag features, it makes life so much more easier. I didn't have that luxury while I was in school, while programming only a simple text file and then compiling it while fixing errors. It was so annoying when my programs didn't work, but I never gave up and it was like the greatest feeling in the world, when I finally got it up and working.

The reason why I don't want to be a programmer is because it feels like a hassle with all that stress of having to look over code and sort it out to make the software run efficiently. It's just time consuming and stressful- not enough down time! I like the idea of relaxing more as a network engineer. I can pick up on the concepts that the computer uses because it's interesting enough for me to make a passionate career out of it.

New Concentrations

I'm getting pretty decent with trading, and it's starting to turn into a rewarding activity for me. I get really worn out with playing poker though because I think it's stupid to rely on the luck of the draw and to be left underhanded. It's pretty much the game of poker because it's gambling and anything can happen when you least expect it, which can totally make you go nuts! Managing your chip stack is very important and will improve your game of making profit in the long run, but what makes poker so weird is that it has a knack for putting you at break even sometimes which isn't fun.

Considering how poker is about sitting there and reading your opponent, I'd prefer playing with the stock market and then go do my hobbies, while checking up on my stocks later. Yeah, playing stocks and losing money can be a very scary thought, but I got over that fear and what I care about is learning to manage my account and make some profit! I'm starting out betting small in the market because I don't want to lose big money, but I do have this dream of eventually making it big and I do like how I manage the wins and losses.

Therefore, playing with stocks and Forex is something I'm going to stick with at a minor level until I get so good at it, but it's something I see myself doing for the rest of my life to earn a living.

Pure Dedication

I'm messing up a little too much by my own self. I'm not very happy with the arrangements that I'm doing, so I'm going to change it up a bit. I'm going to make a general rule. I'm not going to play any video games or watch anything on the Internet or T.V. now.

The only thing I'm really going to focus on is like reading, working out, or even writing on this site. I'm realizing that I'm wasting so much time thinking about annoying things dealing with others in the past. It's very stupid to manage a grudge with them. They were just passive aggressive with me and didn't want to speak to me about something they were bothered by. It was annoying with the way they acted, but still it's funny.

I believe that I can work at always being a better and more successful person than them. One of the difficulties I have is pretty much my emotions running wild and me wanting to just be in playing mode all the time instead of work.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Considering More Trading Systems

For the most part, I'm not putting any more to money to purchase someone else's system, no matter how much of a great sales presentation they put forth now. I'm going to mainly stick to my own experiences and knowledge from doing my homework. 

I'm pretty happy with taking on more long term trades now because I could then go focus on my hobbies and work. It's also a lot easier for maintenance as well for me. The Russian guy I stated who put up a free download for an indicator I paid for is also covering a few other systems as well. I really like this no non-sense trader. I ended up downloading most of the other tools he has up for free and going to test them out now.

If something is being offered free, and it makes me interested then why not dig in for the fun? I'm not interested in paying for something where I'll be putting up my money at risk anyway. It just doesn't make any sense as to why I should do that now. 

Win With Another Trade

I went long for another trade today for Bank of America. The stock was doing well, and I made another decent return off of it using Binary Options and the end-of-day trade option. Yesterday's trade with the CAD/JPY also ended up being another win so I'm on a roll here with my system.

It's like a no non-sense system and deals with a lot of patience and basically, if I spot any uncertainty then I'm not pulling the trigger for a trade. The Bank of America trade was actually sort of an accident, I meant to make a trade for Boeing- they both have similar stock symbols but when I looked at the chart for Bank of America, it looked like I made a healthy choice.

I was looking at the price level, and there was definitely room for it to move more upward without too much struggle until it would reach the area to retest for resistance. What I noticed with my indicators is that for the 4-hour chart, the price had not yet passed a moving average to confirm it as a bullish market. It did on my 1-hour chart though, so it might something to consider in that I could have a stand-alone system using the 1-hour chart.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Crazy Thing About Investing

Well, I ended up spending about $5,000 for a coach to attempt to teach me with making some profitable day trades. I had some fun with it as well and even attempted to learn while waking up early in the morning and staying up late at night watching the markets with the tedious 5 Minute chart. It wasn't really my dream job that I had always envisioned with trading.

I kept on trying to break away from day trading and felt how cool it would be to leave my trades hanging and letting it build more profit while I did low maintenance. Trying to learn this without putting any more money in to be taught became entirely tricky. Nonetheless, I gave it a shot and was pretty much trying to find a needle in a haystack.

Guess what? The indicator I use currently and paid about $50 for is being offered as a free download. I have the indicators that I paid $5000 for plus a professional trader's guidance and it hasn't really been offered by anyone yet. It's by the same developer. Anyway, here's the website which is by a Russian who writes sentences in broken English!

Learning About Trading

I have spent about $9,000 total trying to become a Forex trader. Okay, it's not that bad considering how I have a job and paid the card debt off. The thing about it is that I learned very little from investing that amount of money, except for the basics and how I should go about approaching my trades in a safe and systematic manner.

I was pretty dumb as an ox while taking a chance at trying to get rich off of doing some type of weird trading that I never even heard of. I never really envisioned myself as an investor to begin with, but I always had a hard time with the thought of working for someone and never making enough millions like all the successful businessmen in the world. I used to feel like Bill Gates was number one from being the richest and then became surprised over someone else becoming more rich than him. I don't care who the richest man in the world is now!

I guess it all started with an automated trading adviser and then that's when my curiosity and appetite for getting a piece of the action on this market started taking place. I was first about investing to create my own home business. I then quickly figured out that it wasn't doing me any good nor bringing me any profit because I was clearly working in the wrong market. I found out how tough it really was to have a home business, and how lazy I really was from just constantly playing video games while buying products to sell and never doing so.

I did a lot of buying and then returning products while getting a refund. I've even heard of some sellers not even giving people their refund! It happened to me once already for a lot of money. Anyhow, enough with all of that. I managed to somehow stumble my way through with a job and to have some money left over to try to launch my future, early retirement. The thing I've learned to be better at in this whole process is being a more loose giver to others in general. It feels weird in the beginning, but then gets more easier as time goes. The only problem I face is that I need to be more discerning with the people I give it too.

Finally Won Some Trades

I went long with Facebook and Gold today while going for an end-of-day trade with Binary Options. I'm still currently in a trade with the CAD/JPY pair and it's losing by just a hair again. It was winning for a good long while though; maybe, I hung on to it a little too long. I'm not so sure about that. I'll probably have to look into that more. 

I ended up doing some extended analysis on my charts, before entering those trades. It actually worked to my favor this time! I also started my trades at around 11:00 am PST which was a good time for me. I only did about $75 total of an investment and made a little return, but I'm happy that it's somewhere for me to start. 

What I focused on were support and resistance levels, moving averages, and price action candlesticks on the H1 and H4 charts. If I found some area to doubt my trade, I ended up moving on to the next consideration. I still used the portfolio for the signals, but only on the hourly this time. It was also only for reference. I could probably start neglecting it, if I get good enough analyzing potential trades on my own charts. 

Focusing On Priorities First

I think by having a simple plan to go by like that Reminder app from my iPhone, I actually got a lot of things done that I can feel happy over. I really enjoyed doing that, so I'm going to try to keep it going on a daily basis during the week. It's pretty much my own M-F schedule, but my weekends are always subject to change.

Looks like my intelligence capacity is starting to be more welcoming to accepting more knowledge and new experiences! What I mean by this is that I'm having an easier time reading material, whereas before I used to hate sitting there and reading a book. I think I may have the motivation and skills needed now to practically ace some difficult college courses, if I decided to go back. Obviously, I'm not going to because I don't need it anymore. I'm about making money on my own now, so I don't need some degree to show that I can stick to it because I already proved that to myself with a Computer Science and mathematics college degree!

Back On A Schedule

Yesterday, I concocted a small and personal syllabus to follow for today. I didn't specify any time for each goal, but just jotted it down on my iPhone Reminders app. It worked like a charm. I'm already done with all my goals, except that I still have to brush my teeth and that's about it.

I'm being tempted into doing something stupid again, but by putting that thought aside, I'm getting other things done first! What's pretty cool is that I don't really care about how short I am now. My height doesn't seem to have an adverse effect while I'm dealing with taller women in general, so I guess it's cool then. What's even better is that appearance doesn't really matter to me, so whether a girl is a little more prettier than average or not, I don't feel shy about interacting with her. Some very gorgeous women out there are also nice, and I guess it's just a luck of the draw for settling down with one. Still, the appearance factor isn't really that important compared to the personality for me because I've actually matured in this area of relationships a whole lot.

I think what it really comes down to is really just finding and being the right person. There are so many people in this world and sometimes, it's very easy to get caught up in your own circumstances and not find a way out of those small problems.