Monday, May 22, 2017

Making Sense Of My Silly, Angry Past

Basically I hate to admit on here that my dad isn't really a role model for me. I mentioned from last post that I hate his short temper, smoking, and couch potato activities. I've yelled at him back when he's done that to me and only for him to give up on me and call me annoying! He could be one of the reasons why I have such a high, addictive rate of communicating my frustrations with antagonists endlessly via messaging. I'm actually very strong at arguing my case in person too, but I'm just afraid of making myself look bad. I don't really have anything to lose now, so the scary part for everyone involved against me would be that I'm not going to hold back my verbal side with them.

I'm not really attracting negative attention anymore and my dealings with idiots have been trimming out over the years of experience I've been accumulating. It's just good to know that I feel a whole lot better these days from finally understanding that some people were just being stupid with me because I was struggling to open up.

My Identity With Talking Trash

The fact that I think my dad isn't that encouraging is an understatement. I really don't like his habits of smoking and watching TV all day while ignoring his high risk of being at type II diabetes. I really hate those things about my dad and think he's just being lazy. He also has a short hot temper which ticks me off a lot too. I've yelled at my dad when he has done it to me several times, only to really freak him out. Yeah, I'm not someone an average Joe or Joanna would want to tick off because I'll be on his or her case that is offensive and scary.

I realize who I am and I can be crazy good at talking trash or arguing my points only to make the antagonist give up on me. I can do it through verbal or writing; however with being verbal, I tend to be more laid back because when I'm writing, I would have put together all those frustrating thoughts before letting them out on the person. It's like the person is getting some hard, unwanted slaps that affects the mind and heart. I've abused that privilege a lot by continuously messaging the person who just gets fed up with it and then I end up creating fake accounts just for the sake of messaging them further to try to keep on getting even with them and then trying to take it a little too far.

I realize that I've been crazy in these incidents, but the people who I force to get along with me may be grateful for me and not wish any harm upon me on purpose.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Smack Talk From 8 Years Ago

*** Wow, I didn't know how smart I was back then. I just lacked a little confidence from holding back with actually writing this e-mail. It's definitely a wow and yeah, the guy I was talking trash to was being stupid. He's a pastor too which is unbelievable! ***

It was a mistake for me to write that repentance letter because I never knew how you would fail to be satisfied. I should have never really agreed with you in the beginning. You state stop when someone says to stop. I'll tell you to stop talking to anyone in general. Will you stop? I hope you say no. That example in itself illustrates being unreasonable. I accuse you of being unreasonable and that is why I ask you all these questions to clarify yourself.

You never really explained yourself clearly. You did not answer my questions in the beginning in a clear manner. I've asked something over and over again and you have not answered it. You have now given into it. That is why you are unreasonable. I want you to stop being unreasonable with me. If you don't stop I will take unbelievable measures against you.

Friday, May 19, 2017

That Down Feeling

When that down and bored feeling hits, I'm going to just try to pray about it and keep moving along. Over at work, I think I'm just going to focus on doing work and maybe if I have to, think about what some of my plans are going to be afterwards.

It's time for me to just de-program my mind and put myself into shape for finding time to do cool and productive stuff. My goal is to still be a millionaire with a six pack but while not wasting time and having fun and also trying my very best at it on a consistent basis. 

Things I'm Giving Up During Personal Time

This is all during my own personal time only.

Reason: I want to focus on other things.

1. Online poker
2. Porn / Masturbation
3. Games with no value
4. Television

By doing so, I think I'll get my life back. 

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Blank Resolution With Oyuri the Schmuck

***I think I made a cat got her tongue with Oyuri the Schmuck. ***

Dang it let me block your account with this one lol. Don't do anything.

Oh wow, now I get it. It was a church wide misunderstanding about me lol. It's pretty dumb from a strategic point of view to message me back Oyuri [the Schmuck], but I take it that you do have a sense of humanity to want to care and write back to me. Wow some of those brothers and sisters showed true compassion with me from placing Jesus first. It's real man! Hey the tables have now turned and I have you blocked on Facebook haha. That's cool right? It's because I feel like I totally defeated you now. lol Yeahh, my hands are raised up in the air and I put it all together and despite your lack of intelligence, I do know now that you totally misjudged me.

Ready to move along and be friends again?

Another Blunt Reply to Oyuri the Schmuck

Awww, I feel that you are hurt over my messages. I'll do you a favor and block your profile. I think that's the smartest thing for me to do now. You are lying about me trying to stalk you. I was just trying to get even with you and found it through messaging people lol. Sorry, I'm glad you know there's a crazy and wild girl out there for me. She fits me just perfectly huh, the crazy rocker chick with good looks still around her 30s or maybe go really young at around her 20s. Hmm, I could go with that. Thanks for believing in me girl .  Hey, good luck with everything because I feel a whole lot better from coming clean with you and sorry for the strong language man that I used against you. What strong language? I didn't spell it out lol but you didn't get the point going on the defensive there I see it, you want to just focus on communicating your own situation. I see it now. I was having trouble girl opening up with me and was frustrated over your selfish communication style lol, but I hand it to you, you are feisty and if we did pair up YUCK, we would be called an O-YUCKI couple lol but yeah, I'd be really cute with you even though the world would look down on both of us hahah. Save us the burden and never go there hahaha. See ya babe  ... unrequited hugs and kisses for you, it's okay I get it baby.  XOXOXO

***I blocked Oyuri the Schmuck on my original account. It's for my own protection that my account wouldn't get disabled and lose all that cool stuff I have posted from good friends. ***

*** This is the stupid message Oyuri the Schmuck sent me after unblocking me like an idiot: ***

This is in case you don't get the other one from the other account you created. Leave me the f--- alone or I will take action. It's been 4 f---en years get over your damn self. I never wanted to f--- you and I never will. U must have issues due to the fact that you've been creating fake accounts to continue to harass me. If u took all that time in the past 4 years and applied it on become a better person, maybe just maybe u could have found the woman just as crazy as you to settle down with and lose your virginity to. Have a blessed life. Please stop stalking and harassing me. Ps I ain't got time to read a fake blog made by a crazy person who doesn't think they're crazy. I'm too busy actually living life.

Blunt Message to Oyuri the Schmuck

*** I can't block Oyuri the Schmuck's account for another 48 hours after unblocking it to send her this message. Really funny that she experienced it with me. ***

This is [name withheld]. That's not a big deal with you deactivating an account, but I did get a big load off my chest and feel so much better. I didn't receive a harassment notice because I expressed that I hate you and for you to stay away from me. From this account, I have your name blocked and I will do that to you again just for laughs. Yeah, I wasn't planning on writing another message to you because I was content from what I sent last time, but since you responded to me like an idiot, I'm writing another. Wow, I take it that you are a really sensitive lady and easily flustered like a dumb anime character. Okay, I chose to tease you lightly. You are mad about it now but I'm interested in being friends with you again. If you can't be my friend then you need some help to get over whatever the issue was. I had trouble opening up and you had to be dumb over it! There's nothing wrong with what I'm asking, but on a technicality you could try to deactivate this account too that I hardly use while I have your profile blocked on this one! LOL, such irony and would love to see the faces of Facebook employees skimming through this sentence with grimace. Anyway, sorry for using really strong language against you from the last post. Be careful with what you communicate because from being a guy, my fire will most likely burn stronger than yours. I can't say that I like your appearance or anything, but I will have an easier time biting back if you approach the whole situation in any way that P's me off. lol

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Striving For Impossible

One of the qualities that I read a natural born leader does is that he or she tries to keep reaching after a goal that looks impossible to others. When everything seems hopeless and it's game over, the leader will keep on trying to pursue something that may seem stupid or a waste of time to others.

So what's impossible to me that makes me not a leader? Time travel, yeah I'm not going there.

Monday, May 15, 2017


I read my own poem that got me in trouble with the idiots. I surely did them in with this poem.

Poem About Annie and Betty

They try to deceptively walk in a distance of light,
But personality seems to make them hide.
They claim to have desires of marriage,
But the attractive traits for men are not really there.

Talking to them, others will say is a waste of time.
Not for me, I want information that's more than a dime.
Tackling strategies and writing about beautiful struggles,
My personality may actually be a little too normal.

The goodness in life that is found and toughened,
It all starts with a heart that wants to be broken.
Conceiving and encouraging for the right person,
Will be beneficial and helpful for Annie and Betty.


Annie and Betty acted fine and it looked like Betty was interested in getting to know me more. I guess that mean talk and then sounding nice even though it's so annoying is sort of more of a push and pull method.

It's honestly a pretty funny poem that I wrote while having trouble opening up with my stupid care group. They were dumb and arrogant brats and broke up the group. I wonder if they ever got back together again as a care group. I don't have any high hopes for them now and going to play it realistically. With me sounding more truthfully, I've been acting more meaner towards them. Maybe that's why experienced butt heads choose to be nice to certain people out of picking up on it.

Keeping Up With Schedule

Well one of the things I'm finding myself spending a little too much time over is just messing around practically. There's really not much to it. I'm laughing while texting a good lady friend (we aren't dating) and also laughing while messing around with a buddy and also laughing while writing comments on my Facebook. I guess there's a lot of laughing going around here.

One of the things that I think practicing celibacy might do for me and then just going for bed intimacy in marriage while craving it from being celibate or married to an unwilling wife, I'll be able to focus a lot more better if I can overcome it! Yeah, it's just that too dang important and difficult to achieve.

Getting out of that hyper mode and like you want to inject yourself with a syringe, but I don't even though I'm making a literary comparison; it's definitely setting up for something like the next stage of improvement with bodily functions!

By mastering the body and telling Henry Winkle-ler (the Fonz) to lie there in agony on a regular basis will definitely give you some skills to be patient and overcome an activity that just really sucks but you need it to succeed.

Something Nasty To Reveal

Masturbation doesn't feel so fun anymore. I think it's the constant sensation that just feels better from imagining it or something. I don't know what male porn stars are really thinking anymore. Well, it doesn't look like they have happy faces on either with what they call their own money shot.

Looks like on a technicality from having flawed emotions or a senseless brain now or something, I'm abstaining from masturbation. Maybe someone prayed for me to stop talking about masturbation and porn. If the person did, he or she just might have succeeded for me.

I think I'll just wait on getting married before having a wife to do that pleasant act with and start going rock and roll while tumbling around and do some crazy duets together. Yeah, it sounds romantic most definitely.

Trash Talk in Christian Mode

Hey you are the guy from Hope of God LA right? I was maybe wondering on the small Bible study groups. I've heard some things about you.

That's because I'm [name witheld] and you suck and I will beat the living snot out of you if you attack me. I will incite you to put a restraining order on me. That would be so funny. A gay looking and funny looking guy like yourself putting a restraining order because you still have issues over wanting to be my friend.

Go get some professional help dude over getting over whatever it was that you can't let go because if you did, you would have no problems being a friend. That's what I want dude and if you can't do that then too bad because I'm putting a restraining order back on you.

I am this time going to scream and shout at you and will go for making you look bad. Let's see who you really are with all the Jesus shine being run out of you and you being tempted to want to throw yourself into the lake of fire! It's going to be done by me stupid idiot. Yeah I'll call you Mr Stupid Idiot too.

I had trouble opening up and you had to be such a dufus over it! I will give you a full mouth to chew on this time with me spilling truth and love. I'm just messing half of it from talking trash, but I was having fun dude. I'll have this type of fun and I will try to drive you so crazy that you will want to lock yourself into a mental hospital and spend solitary confinement rest of your days. 

So yeah, that's me dude. I'm a fully grown man on the inside and can open up and also freely use you as a punching bag and get away with it legally if you try to attack me physically and make it look that way by inciting you. Hey, I'll be doing self-defense from the sake of making you angry and even better all for my enjoyment because I know you'll suck at defending yourself against me! 

I feel a whole lot better dude, peace. 

Friday, May 12, 2017

What's Up Dears?

I pretty much heard on a radio sermon that loving those idiotic enemies of mine will pretty much suffocate them. Not literally, but their stupidity will like fall out and so brings death to idiocy and life to a brand new friendship! Yeah! I'm just being sarcastic and humoring myself right now because it's plain funny to me.

The Dears that I'm referring to are those idiots. I might as well practice love and their humiliation through truth. Okay that was really funny to me and now I'm starting to think how funny it is to talk trash behind someone's back sometimes.

Anyway those idiotic dears can be my honeys any day by sticking their hands in a bee hive for me. They can take my bullet that was meant for me, so I can escape to live another day anytime they want to. I'll be grateful for sure still. Like an idiot they are, they won't think much and be like no, they refuse if I offer the same condition for them. I can live with me being smarter than those idiots and it doesn't have to be by much as well.

Blunt Reply To Stupid Lee

Hey everyone just replying to this very old e-mail. It's quite entertaining to see what can turn up while trying to clean up about 50 K e-mails with the majority of it being unnecessary.

Okay Darunee (Lee), dang it you confused me while sending me this e-mail. This is my last sentence from re-reading this letter before sending and I feel a whole lot better. You had placed a civil restraining order on me to try to kick me out of your church not too long ago from this e-mail. Did it work to keep me out of there? No, because I didn't want to go away quietly after that. I was upset and extremely agitated about it that I waited it out no problem because you aren't worth stalking to me. I have better things to do like read the Bible, play video games, search for a better girl to date than you, etc.

Sorry to embarrass you (Stupid) Lee, but I'm making an example out of you because that's not how you conduct yourself with someone you are having problems dealing with. You need to fixate yourself more on God's love and center that on your relationships. You need to combine truth and love and if you had done that, you would have been much more patient and successful at encouraging everyone to develop themselves with where God had intended them to go.

You telling me to go get help was very irritating because it shows yourself to be incompetent and you voluntarily forced yourself onto me thinking you knew all the answers. I'm interested in being friends with you again (Stupid) Lee because that's how I roll, but I'm thinking about not playing fair anymore if you are going to still pull those type of strings. If you can't be friends with me, it's probably because you still have problems moving on with something. Don't mean to make you look bad here Lee, sorry, but if that's the case, you should get some professional help to address what the issue was. I sure as heck don't know what it was you were holding onto with me. I kept asking to try to communicate with you and you had a misunderstanding thinking that I was trying to negotiate with you. Well, yes and no. I just cared from being sensitive about being pleasing in my relationships.           

I was definitely offended and trying to voice my opinion, but at the same time I was having trouble opening up about it. Majority of you had to be stupid about it with me! Sorry to call you Stupid Lee on my blog, but I'm hoping we make up someday in the long future. God is longbearing in suffering and patient, so love your neighbors with all your mind, heart, and soul. It's in God's commandments and if you can't live this well, then I'm going to be extremely mean to a lot of you just as Apostle John was with the religious Pharisees or Sadducees during post-crucifixion days.