Monday, January 16, 2017

Effects of Keeping Journal

What's not that odd for me is that I'm taking a few minutes or seconds out of my day to jot down what I did. Reflecting on the activities that I did honestly, I don't feel too good about a few good activities and I could seriously work on those things.

What I feel honestly pretty good about is something that's just coming out of my heart. I think I should have a pretty good grasp of these activities first before I try to go for adding more tougher accomplishments.

Here's what I have going and trying to work on: daily Bible reading, working out, trading, cooking, taking care not to get more hair loss, socializing, writing and playing songs, salsa dancing, rock climbing, bowling, snowboarding for winter season only, attending Six Flags monthly. If I can get these things done, then I might not have too much trouble adding on some. I'll have to see what happens eventually.

Pretty Simple

I'm just going to make a quick post right now. One of the things that I'm interested in is staying on top of things consistently. With all these interesting books and software I've purchased, I haven't really been able to really put my time into it that much.

I'm still trying I guess and hopefully I'll get there sooner or later. One of the earliest struggles I had was pretty much being able to sit there and read something while coming to a pretty good understanding. It was difficult for me because I felt so out of my place and like my insides were going to tear me apart. It felt like torture underneath because something was taking place for a long period of concentration. It felt very unstable to me and I couldn't make much out of it.

I think that's why I didn't nearly do as well I think I could have in college, along with my procrastinating. These are few of the things I'm openly stating about myself. It's just that now those things are becoming less of a worry to deal with for me.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Need To Stop Procrastinating

I don't why my mind just wants to let things off to the last minute. I constantly do it and don't know why. It's really hard for me to adjust to this and it just feels like I'm giving myself a hard time from not giving into my urges. However, I know that it's good to not give into them.

With that old church incident where that crazy girl was pretty much being a push over with me and looking like she was on crack, it's always going to make me mad thinking about it. I guess it's just how it is and I'll do my best to continue trying to grow up over it.

I think I really just need to continue pushing myself and working harder because I want to succeed and be better.

Wasting Time Again

I guess I was feeling a little sick today from catching a cold but oh well, that's how it really is. I just stayed inside really and didn't do much. I should make better plans with socializing with more people though. It might do me much better from actually being a people person.

Well for starters, I could really start reading the Bible again. Right now, the habits that I would personally like to fix include watching TV and playing card games. I think I just need to control my urges for those things and just man it out even though it's hard.

It's so easy to just sit there and just turn it on and then just lose oneself over it. One thing I'm starting to notice though is that it's not really doing me much. I think the reason why I've been doing it all this time is because it's being acting as sort of a security blanket for me. I could just let it go.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Basically Repeat

I can't everything all at once as I would like to. I'm stuck at my current job right now. I want to be an investor and have all this time to myself to do other things while taking my time with getting things done. It's very hard I know, but I think it's worthwhile to seek after. I'm still going after it because I also find it interesting to work at.

So it looks like I'm going to need to just dumb down a few things and write down errands that I suppose will be exiting my mind so that I can look at them later and try to use them up.

Routine

So my routine is to pretty much try to do a bunch of stuff in a day because I don't really have that much time to do in the first place. I see, so that's how it's going to be for me. I'm going to just keep trying and giving my all. So I practically wasted about 3 hours doing nothing but playing card games. I could have spent it for something better. Now, I've realized that I could spend my time more efficiently not that doing that.

To get everything in order and efficiently for me, I don't really have time to watch TV so much at the moment. Not until I become a millionaire or something and don't really have to work a regular 8 hour job. I guess when that day comes it will feel so good for me. I think I'm really longing for that the most.

I'm really thinking about getting a Master's but it's more on the side for me now. Thinking about what I want daily tasks to be, I can't really do it all. Time is starting to become a very precious commodity for me and I'm realizing that.

Feel Pretty Sheepish

From actually not spending my time properly, I didn't really get much done on my free time. I could have done a lot better if I had actually tried. Oh well, I guess it's going to take a little bit more work for me then to get it going and to be right about it.

Well the most basic things that I want to accomplish is to just read the Bible, trade, and exercise at least. Those are pretty much what I would like to accomplish everyday with the exception of weekends where I may take a day off from working out and trading.

Adding on to that I could do some socializing and take better care of myself by also trying to cook.

Didn't Post Everyday

Well, I've been busy with playing card games. I realize that it took a lot of my time away. I'm keeping a journal to keep track of everything I'm doing. It looks like I'm having a hard time letting go of playing Hearts, solitaire, and Free Cell. These games are really addictive for me. I think I just need to let it go this time and find something else to do.


Sunday, January 8, 2017

Going for Posting Everyday

Just making these quick posts and not really caring about whether people are looking at this site or not is not that bad anymore for me now. I'm not being paid attention to that much and it doesn't really bother me.

I'm going for using several tools this time to help me out. This should be good. Since I'm actually a blogger who likes to occasionally go back to read what I put, I guess I can do this then.

I found something useful today. From working out and having confidence, I can approach girls who I felt acted stupid with me in the past. Those girls don't seem to act so rude with me anymore because I think they are afraid that I will lash out at them and get the better of them, including their muscle that they try to recruit. You know it's actually not that bad then with where I'm at right now for being a short guy. I don't really consider myself super short to the point that it's a disadvantage with where I'm trying to be now.

I think it's really this mentality that I've developed into something that's more of an I can do spirit. It's more like a I can think my way to a solution and work hard at it type of deal. It doesn't matter how short the person is especially if he or she is smart enough already and had a pretty good academic background. Now, I see why education is valuable and something I just convinced myself at this moment as being very useful.

What I Could Let go Of

A few things I could let go of is simply watching TV just for the sake of letting time pass by like an old man. I can't afford to make myself old and not do anything. To practically be a body in the house and not do anything, I would really need a wife who got old with me to make something like that happen. Even then when I'm old, I'm going to try to move her around a lot with me.

Posting Anything

I now bought a few notepads so I can keep track of what I did now. It's more like keeping record of what I did so I can maybe keep myself accountable. By having a log of what I did, I'm sort of keeping a diary and able to self-monitor myself for better success. I hope this ends up working out and something I don't become really bad over.

I think by doing this it might help me out a lot.

Okay

I'm just writing anything again. I'm not trying to go for anything fancy here. This is why nobody is really interested in commenting on this page.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

What I Plan To Get Into

I think right after work, I plan on going to work out. After that, I might as well take some time to read the Bible and then work on doing some daily trading.

With the extra time that I have I would love to socialize if I could, get my hands on some cooking, play a little bit of piano, and run some errands. Which reminds me, I should go get an oil change already.

New Adjusted Hours

I'm back to working during the day shift now so my hours will be from the morning to the evening now. It's a little different and I guess it's better in general for me. I have to come to acceptance that I can't do some things and I shouldn't really be wasting my time with some things.

Right after work, instead of settling into working on something to play with, I should be laboring to also get ahead in life. This is what I want to do instead of being lazy.

Girlfriend Situation

I really have no idea if I'm going somewhere with this one girl I met on a dating website or not. I guess we'll see. I'm just being patient and I think she's just really busy with something right now. We did a whole lot of texting with each other and I guess it's cool to just die down a bit now.

I think she's been checking in with me though and I hope it's not because she feels bad for me. I hope she's pretty genuine about the things she's saying, but you never know I guess.

Start of New Year

Okay, I'm back to typing on here again. I guess I took a long break. I don't really have much to write about right now. How long have I been doing this for now? About five years at least and not really counting? Oh man, this has been a whole lot of writing for the last couple years.

It's a good thing that I've developed a personal sense of humor through writing. It's actually helped me communicate better with the ladies via text messaging. It's not much really, but it did build my confidence up for talking to them in person too. I now have a whole lot of Cambodian female friends. I think I know like five of them, which isn't that much. I don't really have too many female friends, so they count a lot to me.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

New Years Resolution

A few days before New Years Eve, I might as well just go after living with what I want to do.

Once again I have it listed so I'll just copy it down and just feel good about it from seeing the list:

Bible, exercise, trade, errands, socialize, bowling, indoor climbing, piano, sing, dance, guitar, cook, grow hair, make virtual reality game, get a girlfriend, have fun at amusement park, snowboard, work at jobs, do cyber-security and competitions, master's, build combat robots, and work on health.

This is a lot of stuff to keep myself busy.

The things that distract me are the same old: pretty much turning on the TV set and sitting there surfing the web and playing card games. I could probably do better than that while I'm bored.

Well thanks for tuning into my blog, if you read through some of this. I'm pretty much done for the whole year now. So I'm signing off until next year then everybody!

Have a great 2016! Hope you had a great Christmas and enjoy your upcoming New Year's!

Revisiting That Old Church

Thinking about stupid Lee again with her past restraining order that got her nowhere, I'm just starting to just not care how crazy she was. In addition to being stupid, at least she didn't get that very far with whatever she was trying to accomplish with me. She was just going donkey kong mode with me because she was mad that I wouldn't listen to her.

I was just putting up a stubborn act and it was scaring them because they didn't know what I was talking about. It's actually pretty funny now and something that took me a long while to get over even though it wasn't that serious. It is very irritating even though the whole situation turned out to be trivial. In a sense, I feel like it makes stupid Lee look really bad while it gave me something to learn off of as a valuable life lesson.


Wow

This format of writing isn't really anything special. It's just like a little routine and I don't really expect anything out of it except for it being sort of just practicing on being a more eloquent person. I've been practicing with a personal sense of humor and honestly, it really helps me out a lot. I'm glad that I've been around certain friends and even though a few close friends of mine have been mentally retarded, I guess it's how it is sometimes.

Maybe getting a girlfriend will seriously be the right thing for me. I think going for settling down with her after realizing she's a good person regardless of what she looks like, is going to cut it for me. If she can put up with me and just loves me for who I am, I won't mind working things out with her and being there when she needs me.

Things Don't Always Go To Plan

One thing that may help a lot is just hard work and going after doing things that make sense. I guess I'll see if that girlfriend of mine ends up being actually real in the end. I don't really know if I'm going to be in a relationship so far, but I guess I'll find out in the next few days. I think I just need  to be patient and also wait for it.

If it's not going to come my way, then I need to go seek for it again then and just keep working at it. I think I will be happy in just doing the right thing to the best of my ability.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Getting My Priorities Aligned

I guess having a job is wonderful and to be able to make a living for it. It's sort of like a home, but to go home and not have any wife or kids, man life is sort of lame man! To be at the age of 33 and not have anyone, yeah something is wrong.

I'm not really sure what's wrong with me, but now I'm thinking that playing video games or watching TV just might not be my cup of tea now. I'd rather go outside and enjoy life and do something with the family or something like that.

I wouldn't mind making video games for a living though and it would be a pleasure to play video games in the hopes of making them better for a profession. I seriously wouldn't mind doing that. Maybe, I do have a small cold right now so that's why my mind is acting a little sloppy right now.

What I'm Sort of Feeling

I'm feeling like I'm lacking attention right now. I really do enjoy having company with people and having a good conversation. I guess I really do need a significant other than. I might as well keep working on myself for one then. Now I'm starting to think that appearance doesn't really matter so much in a person.

I do really want to look at the person's inner beauty though and what my struggle still is to this day is the thought of settling down with a taller woman who could be a different ethnicity. Could it really work out? If it's all in love, then I guess it really could.

Back To Analyzing Self

Okay, so now I'm thinking to myself that playing card games or going after watching TV and movies won't be much of a life for me now. It feels very nihilistic in a way and I don't really like that. With all this precious time that I have to myself, I'm just letting it pass by indulging on my mindless addictions and wasting a lot of time.

Now that I'm waking up to it, I just have to realize that maybe it's not really all that worthwhile with a few of the things that I'm staying consistent with doing. I'm lacking a lot of time management and just not paying attention enough. It's not good at all for me and I could do better.

Not Really Much To Write About

I guess I have a little bit left to catch up for this year and it just seems like I don't really have much to write about anymore. I guess the good thing is that I have something that's been up here for years now. I don't really get any recognition which would be nice, so I guess I'm just not born smart enough or good looking to get that type of kind. Anyway, having too much of it wouldn't probably be a good thing anyway. I'm pretty happy with where I'm at then.

A lot of my thinking right now is that it's just very mellow and not really all that engaging right now. I guess I'm just in existence and not really feeling energy to do much. I think it's just sitting around for me. It's pretty cool though that I've had some buddies come through for me at least just one time. I'll probably never see a lot of them again, but hey, that's just life too.


Starting To Think For Myself

I'm not really feeling all that great about just sitting around and not doing much for a vacation. I don't really have to work so I feel like things have slowed down for awhile. I'm about getting back into recovery mode again. It's too bad that I don't really have much going for me and I guess it's life.

I just finished reading the Bible and all day I was just going back to my weak and very bad habits again. I'm now thinking to myself what would this amount to and it's not very much now that I think about it. It feels good and that's for sure, but after all of that I've been through, I think there's something more worthwhile to seek after and that's what I'll go after then and just be patient about it.