Friday, January 30, 2015

Things That Don't Matter

Out of the 430 friends I have on Facebook, I think I've lost like 30 friends. Maybe ten of them re-added me back. Another ten of them blocked me on Facebook because I got mad at them, and I guess I ended up annoying them so much, they wanted to ignore me. They act so crazy with me in person when I talk to them, and I can't seem to find a way to resolve whatever problem they are having with me. They are also so much in denial with me too.

What I just stated doesn't really matter and nobody cares really on the long run. I don't really care about it now too. If anyone thinks otherwise, then I invite the person to message me his or her thoughts. I can take in hate mail pretty well too, just that I'll respond back much to the person's dislike possibly.

Here's more stuff that don't really matter. A guy thought I was acting like a terrorist after I called him an idiot for leaving his family. Man, I was so mad at him in the past. It doesn't matter and I shouldn't have been so angry with him. He ended up going for a restraining order and the judge said stay away from him 0 yards while we worked together. Okay, some restraining order! It doesn't matter because God is in charge. Amen to that. I don't really care about it now. I talked to him again and he didn't have me arrested. He just stood there and tried to laugh it off. Well, he has me blocked on Facebook and is under a different guise, so I guess it affected his overall tone a little badly.

I could have talked to him more and get whatever I had off my chest. That's what I miss having done; I just felt I was going to hurt him verbally so I was sensitive like that. In a way it's better that I held back because it means more struggles for me to learn to endure and let go of. Yeah, I really like how that's really positive for this negative thing which really doesn't matter. I don't care about it.

Here's another one. A girl from church put a restraining order on me because she said I was stalking her. I didn't defend myself because I didn't care. I went back to the church and they called the cops. The cops told me that I had no restraining order. They had me handcuffed out of suspicion and I was let off by the sheriff. Yeah, it doesn't matter now. I don't care.

It doesn't matter that they have been bothered by me talking to them. I don't really care. I'm not so bothered by them thinking I'm a person they are so wrong about. It doesn't matter in that I don't have to be so angry with these new and abnormal experiences I had.

It really doesn't matter that I was also diagnosed with Bipolar disease and had some form of anxiety-stress disorder because I was hearing crazy voices in my head. They never told me to do anything bad, just accused me of being gay. I was so sensitive back then, when I heard my head saying that, I was crying a lot so heavily. It doesn't matter now. I guess those voices shut off after I discovered puberty sucked and learned to embrace it.

It doesn't matter that I wasted my time all this time and that I could have done better. The past is what it is, and I'm lucky enough to be able to live in the present. It's time that I put forth a consistent amount of effort and focus, whenever I can get my mind off of entertaining myself from episodes or video games. I'm bored off my wit's end right now with setting for my goals, but I made a promise that's almost too difficult to keep.

God is good, all the time! I believe in Jesus with all my heart and even though I don't think he's here yet, I eagerly wait for the events to unfold today so that I can anticipate his glorious return.


Monday, January 26, 2015

Leviticus 11:10- 12

Verse 10 states that any living thing that moves in the rivers or seas and does not have fins and scales are an abomination to eat. This applies to the Jews and from what I recall in the New Testament, Peter was shown all these unclean animals by God and then the Lord commanded Peter to eat. Peter was like "What? Am I dreaming?" Peter was a good Jewish boy while growing up, so why would he throw away his upbringing right then and there? It took Peter a good three times, I suppose, just like he denied the deity of Christ three times. Anyhow because of Christ in the New Testament, Peter was able to ingest these unclean animals the Lord had originally commanded the Jews to abstain from. It feels so contradictory.

Verses 11-12 state that the Jews will not eat the flesh of these creatures without fins and scales that live in the river or seas. They will also regard the carcasses of those creatures as an abomination. Furthermore, those creatures are an abomination. What I can think of off the bat are mammals like whales, seals, and dolphins. Also, I believe this would exclude frog legs as well.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Changing Up Blog



I'm switching from personal journal to now more of something about trying to do Bible studies. I'm basically going for a complete overhaul with the structure of this blog. For my personal life, I'm going to basically keep a diary for that. This basically means that I'm going to be making a bunch of Dear Diary entrees for my eyes only and God can take a peek too whenever He wants. Imagine, I had a hard life going with a Dear Diary week and then I shared it to my teacher. Okay, I was young back then and didn't even know what I was putting there. I just fudged it and said stuff like I played basketball with my friends and learned stuff. I put stuff like I want to try really hard and study hard. 

For all of the rest of the previous posts I made, I'm just going to leave it up here. It just looks too cool for me and feels great in having made one post a day per year starting with 2010. So enjoy it because whether anybody thinks I'm crazy or not, I'm going to turn massively boring while trying to put my study of the Bible verse by verse.

Monday, January 19, 2015

Writing Out So Many Goals


The most simple goal to attain for happiness, if one ever does have it is to do nothing. Sure, he or she will have to deal with the cold or heat from lack of ventilation while also hunger and thirst, but if one can obtain true happiness from doing nothing, I'd like to hear about it! Loosely, I'm going to just as a joke point my fingers to monks who sit there and chant all day. Well, it is doing something for a living- it might be weird, but it figures if they are happy.

The lesson I'm getting from this post is that sometimes, the most important people in life are your parents and close friends you grew up with. I don't know how important the wife is yet because I haven't been married, but I learned that it is considered to be legally the most important relationship recognized by the U.S. Supreme Court.

These are my incomprehensible and hard goals that I must struggle to put together and learn to get by with, so I must apologize for any lack of inconvenience if I strike a vein. I've learned that the benefit of writing on a blog is that it helps retain information better, especially for the writer. Some people are readers, like I've been getting at least someone in the planet to browse through these. So here's my list:


  • 1. Graduate with a Master's in IT. Gain some positive experience with the career and use it to promote some good work in the corporate world and also with family and friends. 
  • 2. Workout and get a six-pac and some muscles.
  • 3. Continue to do growing taller exercises and try products, even if they don't work!
  • 4. Make my face a lot cleaner by doing eye threading and plucking out excess hair and treating my face to make the pores smaller and tighter.
  • 5. Become rich off of trading stocks and currencies.
  • 6. Be a knowledgeable and practicing Christian from studying the Bible daily.
  • 7. Play games and the piano and get better with my music and artistry skills.
  • 8. Eventually find myself a beautiful significant other to fall in love with and settle down with.
In conclusion, I am really about doing a lot of things at once and wearing myself down. I am starting to like the feeling with being consistent at something. I'm going to work at my own emotions. If I can get these stuff, then I think I'll be pretty happy in this life. 

Using Multiple Blogs


I'm using my diary and limiting on writing stuff that could put me in a serious, negative light. The problem I have figured out is that some people take things way too seriously and don't get their way with an issue and have to compromise. They don't like to be in conflict while feeling bad about they have been doing and will do knee-jerk reactions. I'm not mentioning names anymore because it really isn't the right thing to do on here.

I'm going to limit the stuff that could potentially make me look bad in my own private thoughts and actions now. It's going to be more about practicing my manners for a life-long thing. I'm just trying to do the right thing at all costs, even if people think I suck at it and I get a bad taste on my mouth from doing it.

I'm realizing that from doing all of these things, I'm actually working on myself.


So Much To Try


I met up with a close female friend and technically it was a date, but more along the lines of just catching up and staying friends. Bluntly speaking, it's nothing dealing with her but I'm not really attracted to her. I'm just using her to learn new things about myself and to also discover how people perceive me.

I don't really know how, but I just like connecting with people even if they have issues with me. I believe that you have to work at things from the bottom-up because it's the experience and lessons you learn from a first-hand basis that help shape you as a person. I feel like I did something wrong, but I don't think they'll be talking about it and it won't pop up in national news to put me in a negative light because the incident isn't even that big and funny for others. Let's see if that happens the next few minutes for me.

Happy Martin Luther King Day


To me, Martin Luther King Jr. reminds of going through adversity and then being recognized nationally by the country for future generations to learn about while growing up. I honestly feel that the description of just adversity doesn't really do enough justice for what this man went through in history. While growing up, I was taught in school and encyclopedias that he was assassinated. I did have a strong interest for civil affairs as a child because I was sensitive from feeling like a weakling.

Nowadays, I'm no longer afraid of being in the middle of negative attention. I think I should be going after bigger causes though. In a way, what I have been dealing with is the small grounds and trying to keep my emotions in check. Overall, the lesson I get out of today's date is that some things are really worth losing your life over while being in peaceful protest.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

What Focus Should Be On

I see how from browsing through movie categories, the focus shouldn't really be on making people laugh. It should really be more about a strong purpose that connects well with the audience and then spread the fun even longer with some more jokes and comedy on the side. It really helps to have very likable and talented people working on something and committed to making the world a better place!

I'm going to try to just give my best then and work very hard. The peers I currently have to compete with aren't really that big on the long run. This doesn't mean that I shouldn't connect with them. It should really be about finding balance and having a purpose which is to be pleasing to the Lord. I'm not really writing this blog to entertain anyone. It's only something that I'm putting up to just share with the world and to help me overcome my own obstacles in life. I'm noticing that for myself, in order to get better I have to make personal sacrifices of temporary pleasure so that I can invest my time into a better future.

I've learned that from having exposure to something that could be bad if abused on the long run, the best way is to just cut it off right there and run away from it. It's to basically avoid it. I'm going to try to continue to make improvements in my life.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Going Back To School

I have only a Bachelor's in Computer Science. It's really not that much, even though some people would feel a little jealous or wish they had gone to college for the experience. My best friend is not really that smart and pretty much got put on academic probation, which really sucks. He wasn't partying and drinking at frat parties like a spoiled rotten kid. He just wasn't born that very intelligent. He tries so hard to analyze situations and gets carried away into his own dream world often and will communicate how he's right and just justify by saying it sounds right. I don't really like that about him either because it gets annoying sometimes.

Anyway, I am going back to school for a Master's now in Information Technology. I'm choosing the online path with a well-accredited online school that's very affordable. For myself, I just have like this love and hate relationship with programming software. I just keep on pushing even through all of that mental stress and feeling overwhelmed by the programming task. One thing that is for certain and how another forgotten colleague agreed with me in is that finishing the coding of project and getting it working feels very good! I used to program in the last minute and stay up for an all night-er.

Imagine I had very good time management, then I would have had enough time to download answers into my brain for acing my exams! I became like a very fast pro at programming projects. It was something I put my heart and soul into and something I still do to this day. However, if I could add in better time management with my schedule; oh man, I'll be rocking with straight A's. I read from a blog of a guy with a Ph. D. that to be successful in the I.T. world, you have to be a good at coding. This is something I have down pretty well, so if I only invest my time wisely, I can be in it for the long haul.

I think graduate school is like my second chance at life with becoming a programmer. I became good at it with a Bachelor's and felt like I wasn't noticed and became burnt out from procrastinating so much and then passing the courses. I was so on it with programming and managed to make all of my projects work. I'm so happy that I was able to do that. The written exam portions, man I would just completely bomb those exams. It was from the result of poor time management and having a hard time staying awake in class and meditating on all the theories.

Possible Ideas With Blogging

Okay, I need to go wash up and take a shower after this. I put up so much ideas that I need to fondle with and get up to optimal standards with. I'm also thinking about creating an extra blog for all my investments. I'm thinking about just leaving it out there for free and for others to really read about my ideas if they are interested. I don't really care about getting paid for helping others invest while at my own convenience. In a way, I'm learning more about my personal behaviors as a trader then.

I don't plan on being ultra successful of a trader, but I'm going to stick to it with everything so I can automate a routine that I personally enjoy and then communicate about it. I'm thinking about how some traders might actually try to communicate with me, but I'm really thinking about not really saying anything back to them. I'm just going to offer an overview of what I did and do a little bit of analysis and that's that.

Building Confidence

I feel like I don't really have everything going yet and that I really need to spend some more time developing while going out more with different types of people. That's why they have meetup.com for all the busy people who get rejected by common people, who don't feel it's necessary to go out and have fun.

I'm trying to get into the habit of prayer and reading the Bible daily. I feel a little stuck because I feel tied to reading the Scriptures and blogging. I actually have an idea then, I'm going to conveniently write about the Bible in order then as much as I have time, but on my own personal time, I can actually read the Bible then. Reading is way more faster than writing for me.

I'm going to get myself a membership gym then because I think I need to avoid exposure to the sun and also I can have fun breaking treadmills and exercise equipment at the expense of the gym. I have a habit of abusing equipment and breaking them with disregard for others.

I really like that idea of using a treadmill to do some trail running. I could probably hook up a tablet to also watch movies or listen to songs or whatever I have purposed in my heart to do. Maybe I could try to read a book even while exercising on the treadmill! I have so much ideas that I'm blogging about right now and thinking of trying.

I'm really thinking about combining my home and the gym to be a combination of doing some work outs. I have so much clutter in my head right now and it just shuts down when I want to be lazy and just be entertained for a short period. The entertainment feels cheap because I don't really have a family to settle down with right now. It looks like I just need to push myself and be stressed out even if I feel like I'm going to fail. I think that's how my best friend is- he feels like he's going to fail and that it's going to be hopeless after getting negative signs. He's really basing his life off of perceiving signs and wonders with his feelings of happiness or anything negative. He also likes to work against the tide and ignore everything bad, but then opts out in a positive note. Basically, he's taking a break from pursuing his goals while thinking like he's a champion. I don't really like that about him.

Things For Me To Do

I actually have an interest for playing video games still after all these years. I think it's going to be like a life-long thing. When I have a family, I'm probably not going to play that often from being busy, but yeah, playing video games are fun!

I'm taking up some golf now too. What is crazy is that I strive for excellence and greatness in everything I do. If I can't be professional with something, then I feel a little bad, but at the same time, I feel patient about developing my skills. As the day progresses, I end up doing something where I could just relax and have fun while I think about the little things I need to do to make my life more better. Those thoughts can get to me sometimes.

Now that I remember, I was actually about going out to run around right now. I'm going to try to focus on creating a diet and workout plan. I'm really thinking about doing so many things at once with so little time. I'm constantly like this and feel boggled down while also trying to find room for getting an opportunity to date someone pretty and nice.

Actually, I don't really care about the appearance, but I prefer going for dating someone I'm physically attracted to. It sounds a little contradictory because I would marry a person with an awesome personality over someone who has outer beauty and is lousy. I feel like the attraction would be helpful for me in finding the right type of girl to stay constantly motivated with. I basically weigh on the long-term scale of 90% personality and 10% looks. On the short scale, I'm taking the exact opposite. If I could find someone with both looks and personality, I'm only going to love her because of her personality because that's just how I prefer with the way of things. If this pretty girl I fell in love with became physically ugly or lost a few limbs and then became incapacitated, I wouldn't tell her she's ugly of course, but I would still passionately love her from being like my wife.

I notice that for myself my mind, body, and heart wants to just get lazy and relax. It's like if I have to push myself to stress out a little more as the night progresses. I then leave those thoughts on auto-pilot and then try to push it aside by doing something fun. Then, I realize that I've lost already like three hours, when I could have used that time to go to sleep from being bored with my long term goals, but at least I would have made the effort. I'm going to try to instead of just watching T.V. when I get home and falling on the couch, I'm going to try to get up and do something else now.

I've been beating my age old sin still by just avoiding the action when I'm tempted. If I view the temptation, which is pretty much the start of my sin, I just need to run away from it in my head and avoid it even more. I'm succeeding from just having this going on with me on auto-pilot.

Maybe I can avoid the small pitfalls in my life and do stuff to make myself happy. I like pursuing after very attractive women in big or small ways. I'm going to try to do it while being nice or pushed around by bigger guys. It's like I have to use time and fortune on my side to try to get that interaction going. Of course, many of those women are already going to be taken, instead of being available. It doesn't really bother me that much, and I will remain a gentleman about it even if I'm not given any credit at all from coming across as an annoying brat to people who think I'm crazy.

Anime Critique

From watching some anime, I became hooked onto those shows where all the female characters end up falling in love with the main, male character. I think it's a bunch of baloney, so I'm going to avoid watching anime because it feels like a waste of time now.

Also, I was messing around on Craigslist for dating and I realize that's not a great idea too. You have to spend a lot of time writing and sending your photo to strangers who could possibly be not that attractive or with personalities that might not be that worthwhile. Those strangers haven't really messaged me back with their photo that often. I think I'll try dating sites then because at least the women on there have photos to show. I can just message the ones I feel are attractive to me then based on their photos. It's a paid membership type of deal but I think if I work hard at it, then I might be able to find a couple quality dates.

My cousin told me about scams that go on with online dating sites, where the women will try to get you to send their money. Even if I feel some form of trust with them, I'm not sending them money. I'm not even going to pay for their food even, if I meet up with them. I can wait and have patience. I'm just about working hard now and keeping a leveled head.

Monday, January 12, 2015

Saving Energy and Not Doing Simulated Flashback

I'm wearing myself out from doing stuff to make myself happy, by looking into the past and reenacting scenes in my head. I'm getting out of my chair and looking at the mirror and rehearsing what I feel I should have done. The one thing I'm so happy about not doing was tackling my former, male friends on the ground and screaming at them and then putting them through one of my unfair military style boot camps, while putting on the hat of a nice drill instructor (one who never says a curse word, but will exaggerate the word to imply that still while using polite words and screaming and shouting at the person).

I'm also glad that when I scared a frenemy (a guy who switches around from being my friend to being against me because he's legally from taking special education courses a little retarded) who was with them and he knocked me to the floor and I got up really fast, I didn't end up punching him all over the place and kicking him below his belt continuously and then taking control of the situation and scaring all of them while putting on my nice drill instructor cap and then showing them how nice of a person I really am, which would confuse the heck out of them and mess up their sense of moral judgement with me.

I leave people very speechless with the stuff I communicate because there's really nothing like it. It's also one of those things that make you want to smile, if you are not a part of it, but later on, you would just move on if you forgot about it. I think I'm just going to sit down and release the energy in a more quiet-spirited manner and then keep pressuring myself to focus on good things like my career and investing my time with finding a beautiful woman to settle down with.

There are pretty ladies I admire and get along very well with, but they are all taken. There's this one single girl who is exceptionally friendly with me and wasn't laughing with me when another lady suggested I get with her. She has an awesome personality, but I'm not really attracted to her appearance. There's another tall girl there too who greets me with a hint of reluctance, but says it so nicely at the same time; I don't know if she likes me or is just mad at me because I was laughing and smiling at her situations quite a bit. That place is so pro-friendly with having me around. I'm not really attracted to both of their appearances, even though some guys would call me an idiot for thinking that way. Yeah, I'm very picky and so lethargic with putting my pursuits into action. I'm also a little uncomfortable with their spiritual backgrounds, even though their beliefs are so firmly rooted in Christ. Hey, now then, I don't really have anything against them now; it's probably just me being uncomfortable with putting my belief system into place and being with them. I'm just crazy and different.


How I'm Fortunate And Going For Impossible Tasks

I'm fortunate to be born into a loving family; they don't show it that much to me with open arms. I'm sure my sister has a hard time being around my parents and me sometimes. I live in a very comfortable setting currently, but I feel underneath that if I don't invest in my future now, then I'm going to heavily pay for it later on down the road. I plan on living a pretty long and healthy life right now. Nobody knows for sure, but my grandparents passed away at an old age, and they only left while they were barely around 90 years old. Barely? No, I'm just kidding.

That's pretty old, but they passed away while developing a little dementia. The symptoms of my grandparents were that they became annoying and started repetitively talking about how they wanted to die. I'm not kidding- it made me angry listening to them complaining about not passing away soon enough, while they were in so much emotional pain. My grandparents went through some type of crisis and ran out of steam in their weak and feeble minded bodies. Oh, how I wish they were here while being the same, strong and reliable people again and who I used to adore and take granted for. Man, with me being so annoyed at them during their last years, I was just being crazy and going through mentally tough challenges.

So that's a little bit of my heart I'm sharing with the world. I don't really have that much drama going on with my life; I feel like I'm not someone you would want to connect with because you would hold very high expectations with me and then get disappointed later on. I feel like I have a history of causing some mental trauma for crazy people or those who I felt messed me up pretty badly. The more I talk in a random and unscripted manner while being totally honest, the more I get away with stuff because I'm about choosing to follow the Lord no matter what!

Maybe, people don't really warm up to me because I don't really have what they are looking for. I'm not really angry about that because I do the same to others. Or maybe, people do like me during certain periods of time but I happen to not be there. I'm so different in that I don't shout out bad words to people, which I notice in common people. The common people basically for the men, who are in their twenties, want to get in on all the fun action with girls; many of them get lucky, too. The women, well, I don't know what's going on with them; they just talk, talk, and talk- some of it is good and the rest is just plain blah blah! I'm just basing off this experience from how I've been observing my own sister and close female friend. They are both not really my type either.

My type must be like an ultra fine and super loving person. I don't really care about the appearance later on with a relationship though. If she's the one for me because I was attracted to her appearance a little and then was able to hit it off, then I might as well let that happen. I think the problem for me is that I'm getting a little desperate at times.

I'm going to accept my primal urges and in turn, behave like a gentleman while trying to approach the woman I'm interested in. What I mean is that, I'm going to assume that being attracted to a woman's looks is pretty much the woman putting her best foot forward with me; whether the woman has been gifted with the beauty or not. Later on, if I fall in love with her, then the appearance won't even matter to me. I'm so smart that I can already prejudge this type of situation for myself. Basically, what I'm saying is that if I'm not interested with a woman's appearance at the moment, then I should just look to move on from her now.

I shouldn't really be wasting my time, like I have been doing with two crazy girls who used to be friendly with me. Because of their craziness, despite some tempting things about them, they are not that pretty to me anymore or never really was to begin with. I think those girls have been acting that way because it's a point of pride for them- stupid, I know. I'm not going to share how to keep them from bothering a person because that's something I believe a person should figure out on his or her own; besides, everyone's method is different. I finally figured it out after I don't know, after about four years elapsed. That's really not that bad at all, even though it feels like a lifetime ago! I no longer have to feel anger or resentment towards them because I know what to say or write to them that will make me permanently happy without getting arrested and always motivate me to not be angry with them while getting those moody feelings.

I'm basically someone whose always looking for the big K.O. punch to score the win against people I have been in conflict with. It makes me happy, but for now, I have to be an honorable man because for some reason, I made an oath with God as my witness to not do something, until I've obtained some form of greatness. This greatness is T.M.I. (too much information), I know- I'm going for becoming wealthy on my own and getting some six pac abs. I have a lot of hard work to do to get there, and I'm not giving up even if I die trying to get there and never go back to confront that one dumb person I'm so mad at.

The other oath is easy, I promised the girl that I won't talk to her for a year. When I mention craziness, I'm not saying the person is crazy, so that means I'm not crazy to begin with at all. She has been mentioning that I'm crazy, but from doing that, she is almost setting up a mirror effect of who she really is and saying that only because she wants to be left alone and can't get me in trouble for it.










Oh My Gosh, The Mind Is Working!

I am so darn good at winning silly arguments with crazy people now. I haven't been able to confirm if it's for people with all walks of life. I have a talent and knack for getting somewhere in life. This time what I've been upgrading into my arsenal is being nice while working through personal adversity. By being able to keep a leveled head, I'm definitely being a consistent person and working my way to success!

What I'm taking on for preference is pretty much putting my best foot forward. I think by working hard at giving off a very strong and wonderful first impression, it gives me a bigger advantage of meeting more beautiful women. It then becomes about being able to work things out through differing personalities, and I guess that's where I get to find out about more of my sore spots and work at it, while breaking up with very pretty girls who I think have terrible personalities or are liars.


Being Center of Attention

I'm noticing for myself that I do like being the center of attention and getting it based off example. Yeah, I'm pretty decent with personality, but my actions are a little bit slow to perceiving and moving to doing the right thing.

I feel like I'm at a very vulnerable spot from writing about myself because if I was to become very angry and turned crazy then I could be admitting to doing some things that would be immoral. I think I'm going to work at being a more better person with a sense of style and continue to develop in the area of my health. I do have a job which is good for me.

I'm going to try to avoid experiences that have left me feeling worn out in the past for some purpose that didn't quite add up for me. For example, playing online poker for money left me feeling at a loss because I felt cheated out of my money when I worked so hard for a favorable position to gain the win. I don't really like the feeling, so I'm never going to do it again.

From also liking the idea of being the center of attention, I hate people poking and making fun of me so much in a negative way. I think others are like this also because I honestly do it to others too. I don't mean to do it often from trying to be nice, but I've done it on occasion. I guess it really doesn't matter then what people think so much about me. It only matters if I'm doing something so wrong that I would have to be placed charges for it.

Something About Myself

Man, I've been staying away from my worst sin for awhile now. I intend to keep it that way. I realize that I'm a very picky individual and have a hard time with figuring out things. Things just don't come so easy for me. I have to go out and work hard for it.

I know that I'm not really that crazy, but it feels like a few people think that way when I keep pursuing after something. I have just about the weirdest tastes in life and now I'm 31 years old. Well, it could be worse. I could still be acting a little bit like a kid at the age of 50.

From being so picky, I'm also a very different type of individual. When I go online, I'm thinking to myself that if I was to look for someone I like, then might as well go for someone I'm attracted to physically. When I do that, I don't seem to find that many. I also have room to believe that those individuals I'm attracted to wouldn't really be that into me anyway. I think I'm just going to read up on some dating and romance books to see if I can learn to maximize my chances with the relationships that I would like to attract.

Friday, January 9, 2015

Keeping My Cool

I've been learning something crazy about my faith in Jesus. It has been really changing my lifestyle around like completely upside down. Sure, I still sin like there's no yesterday, but those days feel like they are fleeing now.

I heard on the radio today that practically the gospel in a nutshell is believing upon how Jesus being God was sent down to die for our sins and will someday come back again. This makes me a Christian then because I fully believe upon him and for all that he did.

How this relates to keeping my cool is that by having this growing trust with the Lord, I feel like I don't really need to be messing around with the old stuff that actually brought me down. One of the things I heard on the radio is that by being fully honest, a lot of people will end up rejecting you. Yet, this is the type of person one should actually strive to be. However, to be able to have great friends, one really needs to make self-sacrifices and be upright.  

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Leviticus 11:1-9


Leviticus 11 starts out with the Lord speaking to both Moses and Aaron. It's like God accepted Aaron as well because he's part of God's family now. In verse 2, the Lord commands them to tell the people of Israel what they can and can't eat regarding the things of animals, birds, fish, and insects. 

Verse 3 summarizes that any animal that has cloven hooves and chews the cud are ritually clean to eat. I don't understand what type of animals these really are, but God goes in deeper with examples. Verse 4 states that they cannot eat those that either chew the cud or have cloven hooves. Verses 3-4 also break down to what's known as Kosher animals, which comply with the ancient, Jewish dietary laws.

Verses 4-8 also give examples of animals that cannot be eaten by the Jews because they are considered to be ritually impure. 

In verse 4, 
The camel chews the cud, but does not have cloven hooves.
In verse 5,
The rock hyrax chews the cud, but does not have cloven hooves.


In verse 6,
The hare chews the cud but does not have cloven hooves.

In verse 7,
The pig has cloven hooves, but does not chew the cud. Bummer, no bacon!

Verse 8 states that these four animals are unclean to eat, which sucks for the Jewish people! Oh well, it also adds that they can't touch their carcasses for any reason, or else. 

In verse 9,  

it says that they may eat any living thing that comes out of water that has fins and scales, which are fish found in the seas or rivers.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Leviticus 10:8-20

Verse 8 just says that the Lord spoke to Aaron. This sounds pretty significant because it looks like Aaron had a relationship with the Lord, too! Verse 9 states that God commanded Aaron and his sons, the high priests, to never drink any type of alcohol including wine when they go inside the tabernacle of meeting. This verse uses the propositional word when while dealing with the tabernacle of meeting, so now it looks like God didn't intend on keeping Aaron and his sons who were anointed with oil inside the tabernacle permanently. God also commanded that this be made a statute permanently for all generations.

Verse 10 states that God gave Aaron and his sons and future generations of high priests the ability to discern what's holy and unholy and also between unclean and clean. Verse 11 states that the Aaron and his sons and their male descendants who are now ordained priests to be teachers of all the statutes that were commanded by God through Moses.

Verse 12 now shows that Aaron had remaining only two sons, so in actuality Aaron just bore four sons. Moses had them do what looks like a menial task of eating the remains of a grain offering made by fire to the Lord and to eat it without any leaven beside the altar. That's crazy, so in this verse, it states that the altar is the most holy place. Verse 13 mentions that in the future, they would only need to eat it in a holy place because it is like their wages for performing sacrifices made by fire to the Lord, which was commanded by God.

Verse 14 talks about how the breast of the sacrificed livestock is used for a wave offering and that the thigh is used for a heave offering. Here, it mentions that this awesome portion of a livestock just needs to be eaten in a clean place. The breast and thigh are offerings made to the Lord first, but they get to be eaten by the priests next because God stated it's their wages for performing peace offerings. Wow, in this verse it looks like God wanted the high priests to share what's like the best portion of the meat with their families which included their daughters. This verse also explains that the wave offering and heave offering is from the peace offering. I recall that the peace offering was the most lenient from reading the last chapters. Based on this verse, it looks like Aaron and his sons who were anointed with God's oil would eventually wear off and they would just go on sinning like regular people do because they are also in the flesh. Because their daughters aren't allowed in the holy place, it looks like they would be able to travel to their home to have dinner with the family.

Verse 15 says that in addition to the thigh being used for a heave offering and the breast being used for a wave offering, the priests are to also make offerings of fat by fire for the wave offering. From what I believe to have read, I think it was something like the priests place the fat on their hands and then place the breast on top and then perform a wave offering before burning them in the fire. This is what Moses made Aaron and his sons do for performing a wave offering. The heave offering and wave offering becomes a statute forever for these people, according to the Lord.

Verse 16 states that Moses became mad because he wanted the goat of the sin offering to be done his way. It was burned up, but I don't understand where. Moses blamed Aaron's sons, Eleazar and Ithamar. In verse 17, Moses asks them why they didn't eat the sin offering in a holy place, since the sin offering is the most holy, and God meant for that to be used to make atonement for the sins of the congregation. This makes my stomach churn a little bit because I thought the priests weren't allowed to eat the livestock, if its blood was used for making atonement. However, in verse 18, it says that the blood wasn't brought inside the holy place and that the goat should have been eaten in a holy place because it was commanded by Moses. Basically, it looks like Aaron's sons made a mistake in sacrificing the goat for a sin offering; maybe, they thought it was for a peace offering.

In verse 19, Aaron explains to Moses that Aaron's sons had already performed a sin offering and burnt offering and that Aaron is the one who put them up to it, so he should be the one that's blamed for the mix up that made Moses upset. Aaron confirms that he isn't supposed to eat the sin offering, which wouldn't be accepted by the Lord. This verse also sort of looks like a what if-clause in that what if Aaron had eaten the sin offering? I totally wonder if there is an exception to being able to eat the sin offering. It would feel a little contradictory though because the way they practiced it originally was to burn up the livestock used for a sin offering after having used its blood to make atonement for sins. Verse 20 states that Moses was happy again after hearing Aaron's explanation.

Based on these last two verses, it looks like misunderstandings can happen where people just flare up with anger issues. If its left alone, then I don't think that's very healthy for a relationship especially with an immature person. I think it's important to be able to like man up and take responsibility for one's own actions and to be able to justify actions that took place, in accordance to desiring to be right with the Lord. This means that one would have to be able to meditate on the Scriptures and know what's going on to be able to explain a situation when it comes to spiritual situations. I think this also applies in a social, emotional, or work setting too. One needs to be knowledgeable of what's right to be able to justify he or she is right. By having this attitude of being upright, it seems to promote more happiness in others after a misunderstanding takes place. I think it's also a sign of showing love for those others, so definitely, I need to work on myself first.

Monday, January 5, 2015

Intent With Bible Studies

I'm planning on going verse by verse with the whole Bible and am trying to make mention of them to the best of my ability without skipping any details. I am getting a lot more help from writing it down on this blog because my thoughts are being shared and the Bible says that God's Word does not come back void.

I plan on also practicing the Bible to the most fullest and relevant accounts that I can muster. For now, I'm going to try to just study and put down my thoughts about the Bible on my own time for like a half hour each day so it's probably going to take me years to finish the Bible while writing about it verse by verse. I am also listening to sermons on a Bible-based ministry too. I really enjoy verse-by-verse studies because it just entails the full message; even though I'm just taking in knowledge, those applicable things occur later in life for me, so it doesn't have to be such a strong, stirring message for me to realize that the Holy Spirit is working in my life.

Leviticus 10:4-Leviticus 10:7


The funny baby photo is basically just me trying to humor myself and to make an indirect satire about how Moses became angry in this chapter. In Leviticus 10:4, we are introduced to more of the relatives of Moses. Moses has an uncle named Uzziel, which is not that surprising. Uzziel has sons named Mishael and Elzaphan. Moses commanded those three to carry their brethren from before the sanctuary out of the camp. While growing up and attending church, I recall some religious people calling the place with the cross of Jesus on it and where the preacher does his sermon a sanctuary. That's more for the modern times, but I'm not sure if that's the correct term for sure as meant by the Bible. Also, I'm wondering here if Moses meant for them to carry out Aaron's dead sons. Verse 5 states that they carried them by the tunics, smart. In military combat, a soldier intentionally wears gear with a knitted loop so that when he or she is unable to move, they can strap a cord and then drag the body.

In verse 6, Moses warns to Aaron and to his more sons Eleazar and Ithamar to not show absolute remorse by uncovering their heads and tearing their clothes, or else God will kill them off and cause more people to suffer. It looks like that because Aaron and his sons were in such a high position with very high regard from God, Moses, and the people that they had to make of themselves as an example to others. That actually sucks, but at the same time you wouldn't want to give off the wrong message of saying that you completely support a person's wrong deeds. However, Moses allowed everyone else to express their grief and sorrow over the event which is probably resulting from them being afraid of God's wraith. What I thought was also interesting is that Aaron might have had a lot more sons which is nice. He lost two, but it looks like he still had many more sons to carry on his legacy and maybe was a little fed up with a few of them from being so naughty and dimwitted! Verse 6 also mentions the burning which the Lord has kindled which seems to imply the incident with Aaron's sons getting caught in the Lord's fire, so I'm going have to say it carries on from where I first left off.

Wait a minute, in verse 7, it looks like Aaron and his sons are confined inside the tabernacle of meeting. Moses says that if they are to ever leave it, then the Lord will kill them off because they have been anointed with oil that was blessed by God. Wow, it's like what did they sign up for right now!








Fleeing From Temptation

Ever watch the first Lord of the Rings trilogy? In the movie, the scared little hobbit Frodo tries to pass off the ring he was entrusted with to stronger characters and they all reject him. In the Bible, it says if you resist the temptation, then the devil will flee from you. From the most recent trilogy of the same franchise, in the last movie, the strong elves and a wizard take on some shadow warriors who were once ruthless leaders. I thought that was cool and at the end, the strongest one of them all appears and wears a helmet that looks shaped like two pitchforks. It seems like he's representing the anti-Christ or a powerful spawn of the devil.

The Bible refers a bit about how the devil isn't at his strongest and waiting for his period to unleash his evil in the world for the purpose of wanting to usurp God's throne and be worshiped by God's most beloved creation, mankind. Is this like some drama that's too unrealistic to fathom in real life? Perhaps, but there's something called being human and how we all have flaws. Many have tried to mimic the Bible by claiming to be the savior of the world, but nothing is really like the Bible for all of the ingenuity that authors co-wrote for thousands of years. The truthful meanings occur from studying the contents of the Bible and believing upon the actual intents and not going in some liberal direction.

Therefore, going in a nutshell based off the Christian faith, the devil right now is powerful and is setting up pieces which might be still a long while more or could just happen all of a sudden. We can't really know for sure, but I think it would be funny with the reactions of some people if they guessed the date it all happens correctly.

 When the devil (Lord Sauron of Lord of the Rings) comes into power like that with the anti-Christ (umm, Saruman the White) and have full dominion of corruption with the world (the ring), they will kill a lot of people basically if you go against them. This is taken from Wikipedia:

      "The name Saruman[ˈsaruman] means "man of skill";[1] he serves as an example of technology      
        and modernity being overthrown by forces more in tune with nature. Saruman is represented by a         white hand."


A Breath of Fresh Air

For the last couple years, I was going through mood swings because of how my angry responses scared away some bratty friends after they chose to block me on Facebook. I'm like Facebook doesn't care about them! They aren't special or anything and have issues dealing with their own bothered feelings because they are just impatient and unwilling to deal with things they see as very annoying.

What made everything worse for them was that after I responded very mad, I ended up trying to bond with them again. This made them think of me as a scary person or something bad and they had a pretty hard time with me.

Okay, I feel a lot more at peace now for everything that happened. It feels like something that happened yesterday still and to just stay relaxed about and to continue to work hard to be a nice person. I could have slaughtered them in a shouting or ridiculing match, like I have done in the past, but that made me feel guilty and as I result, I became sad. I think I would feel really good if I beat them while being a nice person. It's been very difficult and takes a lot of time to solve problems using that method, but the reward just feels so much sweeter.

I feel like that one girl who says to stop calling her, Stacy Betty and ended up giving me a lot of time to talk to her is my ex! I feel like she has a weird green glow and something is wrong with her. Nonetheless, I couldn't commit anything with another girl named Annie who I thought was hot at the time. After using Google to see her photos and wedding video a few years later, she turned out to be uglier than I had imagined while still having the same physique. It's so weird how the body and mind can play tricks with you. What if I ended up with her in marriage and I became dissatisfied and had to put up with her appearance and bad personality for the rest of my life. Man, that would suck!

I talked with Stacy Betty about committing to a relationship, and she was open with me about it. After bugging her so much, she says she already has a boyfriend and isn't interested in me. Wow, she's only the third girl whose taller than me to have been interested. The fourth taller girl wanted to go all the way with me, but I turned her down because she wanted to rush things on the second date.



What's Up People?

How's it going, it's a brand new year to start off again. I've been slacking off a little from writing on this blog. Most recently, I was given a copy of an addicting game called Borderlands 2. I have been playing that a lot for the last couple weeks. I feel like it's been a very fun and rewarding experience for me. The reason why I like it so much is because it's a first person/shooter RPG where you can level up your character and then have to go looting to find better weapons so you can take on bigger and badder bad guys. It also has hundreds of different side missions to keep you preoccupied from the game. There's also online co-op play available where each person is individually given equal influence for the outcome of the game.

Aside from doing those side and story missions and upgrading your character, there's also six different classes to choose from which gives the game a lot of replay value. Okay, I need to refocus my life now and get around to doing what I ought to be doing.