Doing the Impossible

Wait until I start getting attracted to taller people. It's like breaking a personal rule for me. Am I seriously going to end up marrying someone whose taller than me? I'm sure women don't mind if they are shorter, but I guess they don't put that much confidence in shorter guys sometimes. Come on, we could be on a similar fate so why not be okay with a switch a roo. I think there was a really sweet girl who is very sociable and amiable who thought I was cute, so I guess she was like a lot taller than me and didn't care about how I looked.

There was another girl who was really tall too and she sort of came up to me and looked like she enjoyed flirting with me a little. Okay, how does a short guy like me get lucky like that and still feel like being short is a curse sometimes? Man, I need to stop feeling stigmatized about being short! If I end up marrying a woman whose like 7 feet tall than I guess I become the hero. Laying side by side, I'd probably be able to level up to her then even though taller people lay longer.

It's starting to not really be of anything bad to me now. I have learned that it's not all about how a man appears to a woman, even though an attractive guy will stir up some of those feelings. It's mainly about how the man presents himself and makes himself appear very confident. Meaning, it's important to have clean hygiene. It's some sort of aura or presence in a guy that would make a woman fall pretty crazy for him. It's like a science, I'd have to say- I'm smart enough that I have a science/engineering degree, then it shouldn't be that hard for me to read between the lines of this grey matter.

Feeling Little Stuck

I'm going to just move quickly now. I think it's important that I get a normal workout before I begin the day a little late now. I'm pretty much going to have to pack everything and then get ready for tomorrow. I'm going to try to get everything that I can out of the way. After researching a little bit on how it's going to be like, I think I'm ready to move forward into putting more effort into better things.

It's really crazy how I've really awaken from being ignorant to things and just being able to move forward. Whatever happens now, it's about being patient anyway so I guess hopefully things will work out.

Missing Church

I've been skipping church for the last couple weeks. I've also been forgetting about praying before eating some meals. I'm seriously letting go of some things that I shouldn't have to focus on- the kind of thoughts that would really disrupt my relationships with others and hurt myself. I think it's really easy to go search for stuff on the Internet for visual sensations easily. It's basically not hard to tune in and watch anything, if the person really wants to. I guess that's why certain comedy sitcoms generate a lot of profit.

I guess I'm seriously becoming more accepting of things in that with the actions I'm taking, I don't really need to get all baffled and angry about stuff. The group I'm forcing myself to properly deal with aren't really that smart anyway. It's not like I can't establish great relationships and be happy most of the time without needing to be weird like they are.

I'm pretty much ready to make a proper transition with everything going well for me in my life now.

Last Day, Need To Make It Count

I understand how I need to pretty much not let myself get too carried away with things now. I also know how to torture some individuals without having any violent persona or any threatening appeal now too. I can also make this prolonged and have all that painful attention directed at themselves. That being said, I should be careful and not waste my precious time.

I'm going to have to deal with some really cold nights while camping, and I'm glad that I have some advice in how to do it. Basically just google, "keeping warm in a tent" or anything related. The only thing I was missing was not putting something underneath the sleeping bag because the ground was really cold. Other than that, I should be okay.

Making these last minute preparations isn't going to really be that fun, but I guess it's what it is. Okay, I'm glad I found some papers that I thought I lost.

Giving It A Whirl

I'm going to be gone again for a good part of the month so I might as well type up random stuff again before I leave. With the things that have been happening for me, I've been really occupied. Today, I realized that my little sister was just being her boisterous self and it didn't faze me at me. I think she likes to present authority by yelling a little bit louder than everybody else she tries to lecture. When I told her that I don't care about it, she felt a little dissed and felt like I was taking away her girl power or something like that.

I understand now her female personality. It's like letting the girl win in that area of speech. I pretty much felt like a gentleman by knocking on her door and asking her if she was doing okay. She kept on yelling at me that it wasn't funny and to leave her alone. I told her in a soft but audible voice that I'm a numb nut. I told her that she's right and I'm a numb nut. She started yelling and telling me that it wasn't funny and to leave her alone.

I then started rocking on my piano. I played the piano and sang the loudest that I could with the door closed. I played my favorite songs that attributed to something that would be rocking but have some sort of sweet piano rhythm. I'm not really that good like a pro- I guess it's very difficult to be that good and well-liked by a large number of people. I'm only told that I sound okay and not excellent or great! What I felt through hitting those piano keys and trying to reach those high notes was passion. I played for a good thirty minutes and nobody came over and told me to shut up with it. I guess it's really that unique for everybody else that I would have to be horribly terrible to have someone come over and tell me to stop. I think my dad told me to stop playing a few times, so I haven't really been without feeling insulted. I think it hit me hard and I started picking a fight with my dad when he did that once.

I think now that I'm a little better and just have been doing it for awhile; whether people like it or not, it's what I do now.

Happy New Years Day

Well, I'm realizing that getting somewhere in life is going to take a lot of work. I'm understanding that I shouldn't get myself too carried away with some things which might end up affecting my personal relationships with others or kill me. Therefore, I'm glad that having faith in the Holy Bible and using its principles is providing me some guidance in how I should conduct myself and to experience a lifting of my troublesome past.

Being at the state I'm currently in, it's like I could will myself to do nothing but positive things. I would still get yelled at by others for any reason, but it doesn't faze me anymore. I pretty much have a thick skin and totally believe in living out God's Word in a verse-by-verse basis. Praying is such a privilege and it really lightens the load when things seem entangled.

I feel like from what I've been through, people have emotions that could be manipulated enough to cause them to be influenced in a certain path. I understand it at a more important level now and don't really feel concerned about it anymore. My words can seriously cause a person to feel harm or safe- there's responsibility in making proper statements for a living.