Letting It Be For What It Is And Unrehearsed

I guess the time where colors should pretty much fly around the whole world in a social setting should be when you realize or suspect the person has a misunderstanding with you and is acting out of character (basically, if his behavior in any way bugs you). Being a guy, women require a different taste to settle this thing, but with other guys and for them not even being your best friend and just a stranger; well then, it looks like things could a get little too hot and dangerous for him.

Instead of just imagining scenarios in my head, I'm just going to let this play out with my own full instincts. I am going to put it aside and focus on the practical applications of my life. I am going to basically do the boring stuff necessary to get further ahead in life and enjoy it the best I can by making an effort to not be so bothered by it. I'll just let it sit on the back of mind in how I will deal with those retarded individuals and commit myself when it feels appropriate or nervous for me. I'm going to place more emphasis on how I live my life right now and what I do with it instead of plotting anything bad for them. I'm just going to let the raw energy flow this time. Immediately, I find myself holding back afterwards and being actually pretty comfortable at doing that with other people and just getting along with them just fine. You just can't let something silly like this thing ruin your life; I know it's a really difficult thing to resolve and that a lot of people just give up, but the happy ending is what all of us should seek after no matter how wrong or that big of a jerk we become.

Realizing Nervous Potential

When I want to commit myself to some areas like dealing with some really retarded individuals, I sometimes get this feeling of nervousness underneath. When that happens, I need to accept that I am going to be a big jerk to that person. Other than that, it comes down to what we both believe in and resolving all the misunderstandings. After that is done with for all the effort I will myself to put in, it's time to move on if they are still being only slightly retarded and can't like me as a person. All I really care about with individual relationships that have gone astray is making sure they understand me completely where I am coming from.

Being nervous, I accept that I am a big jerk to the person and am just going to behave accordingly with that personal theory of mine now. I have the guts to work under feeling pressure and the courage to not back down when all seems lost and my belief in something is so great and I just don't know what it is yet. It takes awhile if I can't figure out what is bothering me and from all the unnecessary attempts I made in the past, I was learning from those mistakes all along. Now, I know that I function with getting people who are against me to understand everything about me and to shoot down any misunderstandings. If they still don't find any favor in me after understanding me, I have no regrets with moving on these days. This is just my personal policy and I don't care how selfish it is because I am a big time nightmare to everyone who doesn't understand something about it.

No Use Thinking So Much About It

I pretty much function like a nightmare when anyone has a misunderstanding with me. That's why I try my best and even selfishly sometimes to get the other person to understand me. If they understand me, and don't agree with me in a certain area then I am fine with it especially if it comes to the point of not being able to be friends anymore. I'm starting to just naturally be a person who thinks about the stuff that bothers him and come up with those very sound arguments that just feel good to visualize if you are in the person's shoe. It takes getting through a lot of hardship and occasional failures but through the effort, it's amazing how it all ties together so fast once the realization has been made.

With strategizing, I see that there's a point of no return in some instances for the person you are in conflict with. In that case, I think it's almost like an open battle and can get really dangerous if you are not careful in how you go about things. It means if you are going to go further, you have to be willing to sacrifice some personal freedom in your life. It really becomes about what your values are in life and how you much committed you want to become. No matter how dirty the situation becomes. Whenever that nervous feeling cuts in, might as well just think you are a bad person and move forward in your attempt to do something. I just see it that it's based on principles of what you believe in and if it doesn't tie in with society and you become a misfit or mistreated for it, then might as well reconsider from time to time no matter where you end up in life.

Place for Allowing Raw Energy

There's a place for letting this whole raw energy come out, but it's important to not let it consume your entire life. I guess the nervousness underneath me is going to get to me a little anyways, so might as well not think so much about it and just go with natural instinct and reflexes that I was born with in doing this approach. With good friends and good strangers and those who have yet to find something wrong with me and get bothered by it (most likely a misunderstanding), I will make a great effort to love them.

Now, I realize something has become too late and what really gets me motivated in life to center all this raw energy is when someone has a misunderstanding with me and displays a mark of poor character. I have to be way more careful with women in this area, but with guys, I will be way more neglecting. I like to use funny speeches and funny illustrations that others would just go crazy over to laugh about, but now, I won't let it consume me and make me so weird anymore. I'm going to put the imagination aside because it can never be exact for me because I'm going to be nervous and then combine every effort I learned so far to get what I want out of the situation. I'm just going to set it aside; I have the guts required to let out my raw energy and it is what I plan on doing really soon to a guy whose such a person who can't let go of things and be so much of an exaggeration in what they think about the situation. He's the perfect candidate which I now realize, so I will just let my life naturally play out and just commit myself while I am extremely nervous to what I am about to do and hope for the best outcome with this individual. I am going to be the most hard working at the time and place for that short period of time than anyone I know!

Using Honesty and Consistency

I realize the experience I have with great people is unique and awesome! I don't feel at all let down if a person just doesn't like me for who I am, but I might be the type of person others have to make an effort to understand at times, if they are just the type of people who like to exaggerate on things.

I'm basically a complete jerk when someone doesn't understand me and makes an issue about something to try to help me especially, if I am off guard and the person is doing that to me. This type of conflict is extremely annoying and something I had a hard time trying to calm myself down over. These days just from making the effort to be sharper and witty, it just all happens naturally for me.

I like this new personality inside of me now that I've been developing which is being more open with others and very confident in my approach. It's this new form of discipline that I am finally adopting and becoming more mature with.

Relying On Improv

I am now seeing things more clearly so might as well just focus on the important things right now. Compared to some people who have problems with me, I'm just going to go all out crazy with them now by just being random and following my gut instinct. Other than that, I like this whole calm persona inside of me now and just being cool with everyone.

Misunderstandings are a pain to settle no matter how long the period is. Might as well do things that just throw them off really hard and get them to doubt in their personal system of thought. I'm just going to try doing things to them that others would laugh really hard if they heard about it and where their allies would feel discouraged in supporting them. I'm just use anything now that comes to my head that would just get to their nerves super crazy from what they think is crazy.

Other than that, I'm just going to live my life in a personally good way the best I can now. I'm not going to let those things get to me and prepare for it mentally by just doing random things now. Anything that just pops out of my head, I'm just going to go after it now. With family, like my sister or other girls I have to be more sensitive with them. Other than that, I'm just going to go random these days with some problematic guys and see where that leads to. Overall, I'm just going to let all my emotions run wild and handle them and make sure they are being addressed to the messed up guy. I'm going to be overall just very normal to the best of my ability and make the right effort as a person.

Being Mature In Feelings

Being mature emotionally has been a lot harder for me than I could imagine. I used to be so disappointed at life; not so much anymore. It's just plain and simple in English; just deal with it. What I see myself doing more is just making an effort to put some personal feelings behind me and just progress forward.

It was crazy to see this one girl being actually pretty laid back with me and slightly interested in getting to know me. Oh, so she's actually pretty and a genuinely sweet person. I got to talk to one of those and get to know her a little bit, which was nice. That's where with those young and really beautiful women, I need to put those feelings behind me and just be mature. I'm doing that more these days, but some days I'm not focused as I would like to be and go off a little. I guess it's all in the mood somehow. Looks like I found out that an e-dating site can actually get someone a date. I never knew that could happen for just about anyone, but I guess it works.

Focusing On Right Things With Desire

This is a really tough area still for me. I guess it just happens with a few individuals not really liking me for some reason and then causes others to not like me as well. This whole nervousness underneath me while all this negative commotion which was filled with distorted truth really distracted me with living my true life.

I realize that I am just a nobody and can't function in life without covering my head with my hands sometimes. I'm just going to go take a nap right now before I continue talking about random things. It's time for me to act to get the misunderstandings taken cared of. I'm just going to go full out random with that area because it doesn't matter what the end result is as long as those misconceptions drop out of their minds. In the mean time, I'm going to go live a full life and take my time.

Things That Don't Matter

It takes time to let stuff work out especially after not having made the effort in the beginning. I think that's one of the most important key elements. I guess the things that do matter are having the right kind of connections.

It seems like I do have a good set of friends; most of who are long gone and really have no beef with me. I guess the thing that probably gets most people to not really like me anymore is having some issue that they can't get over with me.

Where I Finally Stand With People

It's been a good 13 years of weirdness for me from high school to college. Even I had a couple chances at love from a couple great women. However I would go on to heavily fail to seal the deal.

That's life and believe it or not it's normal. What I am finally getting at is that I have been having the hardest time with people coming up with wrong comments about me and me not understanding where they came from. I was so immature about it to and fuming so much underneath. I now am not so mad because that's one of the bad things people could do to me and where I will actually act to get that fixed.

I care about the really wrong misconceptions that affect my relationships with people. I don't mind letting go of some as friends if they completely understand me and just plain to choose to not like me. Some of these people with misconceptions are also associated with bad character and thus, I wish to limit socializing with them now after letting them know and if they still don't wish to change.

Basic Stuff

I'm now thinking a little more logical and systematical about how I would like to make an earning. By going after the guarantees in making a living, it makes it more easier for me to then invest a little time in going after some risky ventures for trying to become a millionaire at a young age! Managing finances well and becoming successful while having the money to support loved ones and to be able to help out the poor a little makes it more comforting and encouraging for me to go after this route in my career now. It all started a few years ago for me.

I do have a guarantee in gaining profit, and it is also expandable which can also become very beneficial for me as well in my personal life. For instance, I have the opportunity to earn free money from just taking online courses and learning a language. It's an extremely great incentive for me and I shouldn't let up the opportunity because I'm interested in reaping up residual income.

There's a lot of time commitment issues for me, and I realize that my time is limited with how I spend time with some good friends. I really want to form a strong basis so might as well go after establishing the building blocks one at a time. Since I'm pretty much a grinder with earning money, I might as well grind away with grabbing income in the areas that would be most beneficial and financially rewarding for me and then slowly add in the areas where I want to be actively involved in.

Creating bank takes a lot of commitment and besides just talking about it, it's just a matter of not being lazy and going after it. The hard part is actually visualizing the opportunity in your head. It should pretty much be a step-by-step process. Wherever you go, there are always people to make friends with so might as well not be so afraid of letting go of being around some really good people and then form new relationships again and keep the old who were just so great with you! Basically, what I look at right now is pretty much a guarantee of earning money from having successfully completed a task; it looks like I have a really superb opportunity right now with something and I shouldn't let time go to waste since I'm now interested in it.

Progress With Losing Weight and Exercising

I really like training my body these days to feel and become stronger! It's a daily effort for me, but I will take a break on Sundays. I'm currently trying to focus on losing some weight and then managing it so that I wouldn't have to worry so much about it.

The way that I just function is that I have to develop a routine and stick to it and then let myself be carried away a little. It's just a lot of hard work and putting in the effort while not being bothered by anything. I guess that's what makes a person successful!

The way I plan on losing weight is to pretty much limit my calories and let myself starve a little bit from snacking on junk food! I have been the same weight from eating whatever I felt like everyday and then working out the same day. If I diet from some bad food, then perhaps I will be able to see the results from my weight a little quicker.

The basic workout for me is to just do push-ups, sit-ups, and run for two miles every other day. For the other day, I just try to run a little longer. Technically, I'm running every single day of the week so I could lose some weight and eventually maintain a desirable weight. The effort I put in is a little above average then I'm sure most obese people would be able to handle. It's going to extremely hard and mind battering to lose all the creeping weight; even possibly, the person could just be ignorant about how big he or she is and learn to cope with it while not caring. It's weird because one of my cousins will feel hurt or get mad when I tell him how overweight he is and that he should focus on some physical activity instead of being lazy to lose some of that weight and become healthy again.

Maybe for some overweight people, it's just a life-style they don't ever want to refuse. I'm personally concerned about it, so whether my future spouse becomes overweight or not, I'll tend to trying to get her to go take a fresh walk with me at the bare minimum on a daily basis. This would mean I would have to make a great effort in getting to know her and leading her while encouraging her with what her needs are and then do a little positive reinforcement to get her to stay healthy at all costs. Obviously, I want to start off with a spouse who demonstrates a very healthy life-style and is willing to make the effort even while being a little injured.

Placing A Ton of Heart

I really like the idea of just keeping things simple these days and not stressing about anything to keep things usual as they are. My mind is just so programmed to be engaged in some daily behavior, but now my heart and soul just wants to make a more wiser investment so it could benefit my life later. Perhaps, pursuing after the greatest goods that I can obtain for myself would have a better lasting effect for me in the areas of success.

I'm not even talking about cheating to get somewhere. I'm talking about making the natural effort to get to somewhere that you want to be at and with all of that ton of energy spent, the work would finally pay off and bring some fulfillment to your life. It was really difficult for me to also pay attention to other people because I just wasn't the type to listen from not having that much trust over being spoon-fed with something. I really needed to have a good idea of the experiences people share to appreciate the information that was being transferred over to me.

After feeling like my heart wanted to just relent and shut down from just not feeling right at times, I'm just technically bored and making sense out of my past and trying to get something out of it.

Preparing Early

Sometimes I find myself feeling really worn out about what I have sights set on and not even placing any attention on it. I think that's a bad thing because we all should have something to keep ourselves occupied on. These days I'm becoming more mature than ever, and I'm not totally bothered by what constitutes as boring anymore.

Learning a lot of good things in life over these last couple years has made me appreciate my true friends and also not so worried about being rejected. Maybe a thing I could try more is to be mindful of others and put myself in their shoes more. Even if there's something I don't like about the person, I should just give a lot of personal effort to let those things not bother me in general.

Basically, I'm starting to become someone who doesn't really to procrastinate anymore. Besides, I'm totally wasting my time and regretting what I did if I don't get to those personal priorities. There's definitely no problem to the feelings just not being in the mood while working hard to achieve something.

Ideal Goals

The ideal goal I have in mind right now is to pretty much lose the extra 15 pounds I have in mass and then focusing on working out to gain some muscle! I would like to also enjoy being able to day trade some stocks. Because of my lack of time, I might as well just try to keep everything simple for now and then work at it in being self-motivated to move up the ladder.

It's pretty hard for me to get started, but I've actually been getting consistent with my personal hygiene and working out on a daily basis. It's not so hard once you get into the habit of things. I'm just catching myself sleeping on my chair right now because I still have another 2 more hours after it changes 1 AM before I put myself to bed. I sort of like this because it helped me out when I did it last week.  

Pretty Sleepy Right Now

Right now at my time zone, it's 12:20 am and that is pretty much an early time for me right now because I won't be sleeping for another three hours. I'm just trying to train myself to stay awake at will so I won't do bad at work. I'm falling asleep at my chair right now as expected. I'm someone who just needs plenty of rest to be able to function, but since this job is really tough especially working at the night shift, I should pretty much not outdo myself with the free time and stay committed to earning a living during the week!

I'm starting to be really comfortable with all this grown up talk these days. I'm just not sure what I'm going to be doing if I manage to become successful with my life and have enough money to retire early. Becoming mellow and just telling personal jokes is starting to never become old for me now. I'm just getting old, and underneath, I'm understanding my place by also not being afraid about anything happening.

Focusing Better

I'm realizing that from working out and trying my best to stay focused at my job, my mind is just so relaxed and it's easier for me to not get so psyched out anymore from feeling like I am being overwhelmed with personal tasks. I'm pretty much enjoying myself more.

 I guess I'm just old enough to be able to make responsible decisions for myself so that's what I should seriously be focusing on. Just de-attaching my negative emotions from some things, it's been a lot easier for me concentrate on being a more productive worker.

From all the time I have been spending on useless things, it just gets me wondering how I've still made it to the point that I'm in right now. I guess this is where I might have been naturally blessed in that I have enough mental and physical prowess to earn a decent paying job.

Living In Gratefulness

I guess I'm living in times where the little things are what can occupy my mind and where I don't really pay attention to the necessary things for my own survival. I should pretty much be content with what I have after how I was brought up. This is what I believe I should be doing more lately.

Some days, life is just good and other times, I feel like I'm totally lacking in some area. I guess this is how it is for others too. Training myself to not get so mad anymore with people, I still get a little moody or jumpy sometimes but so far, I've enjoyed the personal progress I have been making.

Making Better Profitable Decisions

I think it's important to make the right investments in life because it will really help out seriously financially a person's life. Sometimes, it's just better to not rush into something when you are not ready and take your time with developing in some area. I'm starting to learn this now after having tried to rush in so many things.

First off, it started with letting go of my dependence on video games. Slowly, I'm working my way to letting go of too much T.V. and other things. It's pretty crazy how a little focus can go a long ways for a person sometimes.

Trying To Stay Awake At Work

I have recently had a little issue in how I end up closing my eyes while standing and dozing off. It's pretty weird because I think that my body and mind is still active, but it wants to stay focused on something bigger than the job I'm working on.

I think the strategy is to pretty much practice before going into work with being awake on Sunday the time schedule of the company you work at and then sleeping during those regular hours. I guess it helps with helping the person from being exhausted and adjust a night before trying to work the next day.

For my job, I pretty much finish work at around 2:45 am and go to sleep at around 3:30 to 4:00 when I get home so after sleeping early on Saturday. Now, I'm up just trying to stay awake for about three more hours.

Organizing Time Better

My mind is starting to get used to the idea of being constantly bored and not really hanging out with anyone now. I'm just not really the same old person as I used to be now. I'm pretty much learning to be in self-control these days, and I think it's just going to take quite a bit more effort to get to where I want to be these days. It's pretty much the same old boring me!

There's really nothing that's inspiring me to write. I'm just writing for the sake of doing it right now and hopefully, maybe I'll start picking it back up. Writing in a way is used for intending a purpose, and I think the best ones I have written have been for such. I feel really rusty about writing right now, but nonetheless I might as well just put something down to get the week going for myself again.

Around Some Really Nice People

Growing up with some really retarded people in that they weren't really that courteous and sort of had their problems to deal with so they kept to themselves, I'm amazed at the really good and nice people I am surrounded by. Yet, for some reason, even though these people are great and actually nice while being fun-filled, it seems like I play an influence with how the environment is shaped.

I feel like I am this lowly-shaped short and unattractive individual who is a really big failure. I just thought that people wouldn't be mindful of me, but they actually are with me. I don't get it with how the majority in the world when they bind at one place, this little area that they have preference gets to me and how I try to manage the negative feelings I get from it.

These people I have been around are amazing and truly a blessing. I feel bad from being a sinner last weekend or maybe it was a little too much fun that I shouldn't have involved myself in. I realize that it's these choices we make that shapes the individual we become.

Very Difficult

From the way I have grown up and been born into, things just don't come that easy for me. Just imagine this, a 5' 2.5 male individual messed with the heads of some feeble-brained peers and then received two restraining orders. That person is me, and all this time I've been thinking about how short I am and how I can't fit the description with my personality of needing a few restraining orders.

What it means to me is that I make a few people around me very uncomfortable with me and really scared. It's actually cute! After being so angry for a long time and plotting many different scenarios in my head of how to get to back at them, I just have to live with the fact that some people are stupid and will overreact with you and that I have to get used to some people I get to be around will behave this way towards me.

Basically, anyone can place a civil restraining order (civil harassment) on someone and anyone can call the police on anyone even if it's just lying. The fact that I view traditional society to be where the tall and good looking people get the hookups, I have to wonder how my diminutive height and low self-esteem personality got me two restraining orders; even though the plaintiffs are really weird people and make themselves unapproachable, I have to sort of think that it's cute they found me very uncomfortable and scary otherwise they wouldn't have filed one on me.

The fact that I let them have it by not challenging to the court's ruling even with a lawyer present by my side makes me wonder how much torture I made them feel from having to subject them to dealing with a permanent issue that would never resolve itself. This time I have a natural policy now that everyone should develop- it doesn't matter how big of a criminal you became just do this, if someone calls the police on you then call the police on them and make up something that makes sense. If someone places a restraining order on you, then put one on him or her no matter how big of a friend he or she was to you. Be sure to also mention you will do this to the people there. This is my personality, once I reach a common ground; it's time for me to move on with these unstable people and not even hang out with them.

Committing to Goals

I have found that writing and sharing your goals on a blog can literally help shape who you become as a person. I know this because I've had this blog for about five years now, so with the influence it's brought upon my life with all the little things added up, I can see that there's been a significant change in my life and it's for the better.

There's always a time where you just feel good in the beginning to do something. Why else pursue after something so cool, which is having those positive feelings? After awhile, things just come up and it just might extirpate something you thought to be going well for you.

Then again, here goes my goals because I'm just feeling emotionally constipated with these positive and entertaining feelings and just this constant feeling while sitting down and doing nothing, it's pretty weird how it's developed like this. When I will myself, my mind just turns to feeling bad and then after an abrupt moment, it's back to feeling constipated in a good way. Very peculiar, but something funny and I suppose it's something very new for me to get used to these days and definitely, I am looking forward to live with it.

 I am going to work out six days a week to the best of my ability. I am going to get plenty of rest whenever I can afford myself to sleep. I am going to make an effort in any way to get myself taller daily by doing something physical with it and then try to add in the good nutrients to see how that goes. I am going to just party and crash and burn on the weekends man, it's going to be like living a celebration for me! I am going to get my lazy butt to sit in front of my computer screen and learn some Korean everyday. I am really addicted to reading about stuff and playing my piano; boy, I really am going to find some systematic way to appease those emotions. When I tell myself, I'm just playing one piano song, I end up playing like ten! I think I'll play my heart out on the weekends then. Definitely, no real time for T.V. and surfing on the Internet these days for me. For now, I'll trade in being knowledgeable about the world for personal development and success in what I want to do. I guess if it's that bad then someone is going to say something about it around me anyway.  My heart is just worn out a lot and I think I just need to develop a happy routine that I can catch onto really fast in a daily fashion.

Putting Wonderful Thoughts Into Motion

I need to work out big time! I am gaining weight that I don't like, even though I am a guy. I am trying to work out six times a week, but after doing it for awhile and then stopping, it's been difficult for me to retrain myself to commit to those work outs. I guess that's very excess, trying to work out almost every day. I just want to physically be in shape and have those rock-hard abs I could show off to the world and then take photos while just doing back flips!

Even though I'm a lot better at handling my personal feelings about how short I am now, I still want to try to increase my height. I managed to figure out these stretching exercises that will temporarily make me look about an inch taller with my body. It's pretty crazy, but it isn't magic- it's just working out and doing some weird and painful exercises to get the body to straighten itself out and then forcefully look an inch taller. I did it and permanently added a 1/2 inch to my latest height, it was pretty cool that I committed myself that long.

The hard part about doing those growing taller exercises is dealing with my impatient attitude and feeling disheartened about continuing them while having emotions of wanting to cry for those uncontrollable feelings. I don't let those emotions out with others, but it hinders me a little sometimes. I understand that it's like a bipolar reaction for me and that I just need to retrain myself to let go of those feelings. Just because I like the idea of being taller, I'm going to try to make myself taller again and spend a little bit of money on it but also work on not being bothered with the height I currently have to live with. Even if I grow up to be 60 years old, I'm still going to try to make myself grow taller naturally without cheating with medical surgery or wearing elevated shoes, I'm a man! Maybe, I'll share those growing taller secrets with my kids, grandchildren, nephews who knows and they could be blessed to be the height I've always wanted to be and revel at the knowledge I had and be able to start a tradition of passing on those secrets to future generations- that is if those kids want to be tall, I understand some kids just like staying short for as long as they can!

Being the Pursuer

I am pretty much the big and great pursuer. I am the initiator; without being direct about my purposes, it leaves for interpretations and if people are emotional and have had trouble settling their differences, then I believe these people are going to feel very insecure with what I am doing and start making comments about how scared or uncomfortable they are with me. It's actually really cute, even though I was really mad to be able to discern those feelings from them for awhile.

It's pretty odd and funny, while it could become really dangerous for me at the same time. I sort of need to watch out and possibly avoid these types of unstable people. I guess the warning signs are there for other people, especially with what I went through so others may pick it up from me too right away even without me understanding the situation at the moment.

I would like to pursue after good people- the ones who actually wouldn't mind going out of their way a little and the ones who actually are established with some resources they can share. Dating a pretty girl who is unemployed might be fun, but what would be even better is if she was this determined person who already experienced some success and was interested in me. It's easy to be a dreamer but it's sometimes very cumbersome to reach a decent status.

Daily Struggle

My daily struggle is pretty much willing myself to figure out what I want to be engaged in and to try to limit the excess amount that makes me feel like I wasted my time. My other struggles also include not becoming so angry inside after thinking about some people who just were being stupid or crazy with me and unable to make the effort to get along with me.

Being truthful with my intents and being able to take big hits, I think that's the life of a true man! Just like how I'm so tired inside, all these emotions pretty much just originate with me. With all those people who just start going crazy and trying to reason with how bad others are conducting themselves, I think they seriously are being dumb and need to go talk to a professionally trained and caring psychologist. Yeah, this may be true but how many are really going to be very upfront like this and tell the person while realizing this at that moment in time. It's a lot easier to see when rewinding but what about experiencing it at a later date?

Making Sense Out Of Things

Time is so valuable, and I'm understanding it more these days from working ten hour shifts! There are a lot of things I want to accomplish, and I'm realizing that a lot of it is mental. I mean playing video games and keeping myself occupied with it is really fun but ideally, I'm starting to feel that I'm wasting my time.

Instead of really watching T.V. or movies, I think I should really focus on living a full life now. This time that I have to myself is something that I don't really want to let go of. Being single, there is this great gap of time with what I want to do now. At the beginning, I was really rusty and just going about trying very difficult things that I was just inspired to do. I lacked so much knowledge and had a pretty weak heart for developing myself, which meant that I just wanted to stay steady with something good.

After going through some grueling periods, I no longer need that. I'm going to go after what I'm looking for. I pretty much like the idea of having a form of residual income while being able to focus on other things. I'm just like a lot of other people too. I'm sure people would just love making a million bucks and having all this free time to spend time with loved ones or travel and do fun things without no one really invading your personal space. That is the goal I am currently trying to accomplish now, and I'm willing to work really hard for it. Along with the fun things, I have an itchy desire to just learn about complicated things like how the human body works or mastering physical mechanics in this world. It would be cool to be able to spend some time doing those things too by developing something personal that brings me income. I am willing to take affordable financial risks now for accomplishing a goal of a more enlightened direction.

Letting Things Run Smoothly

Ever since breaking out of a major depression in my puberty, seriously, I was just love hungry and thinking like how could a short and chubby guy like myself end up with a smoking hot wife. To add to the sorrows, I bombed an Honor's English course because I couldn't connect with Shakespeare! I felt like my love game wasn't smooth enough and that my Ivy League career was over; on top of that, I was so short-sighted and feeling so dependent on being around company. I was just this lonely wolf underneath and not doing so hot; one of my teachers took notice. Man, I was so dumb but thinking back it just makes me literally laugh about everything that I was going through underneath.

These days it's just flowing and even though I'm a lot shorter than what I would have liked to become, I'm just not letting that play a major downfall to my confidence anymore. I'm not even comparing my height to anyone, but myself. I don't care about a girl's appearance; heck, even almost all the beautiful women in the world seem to look like whatever to me. Okay, maybe a few of them might be really fun to go out with for me.

I'm starting to just be relaxed underneath and just making the effort to not worry about the pain and suffering from feeling so short! I'm accepting the situations I'm in and choosing to not be bothered about anything. This has been making it a lot easier for me to will myself to living a diligent lifestyle. Comparing myself to some people better than me, I'm pretty much nothing. There's nothing to it! In all absolute honesty, willing myself to go in the right path and direction has been pretty nice.

Hard To Stay Consistent

I guess there are normal times where when things are just feeling solid, something just happens to your mind or body and then you just want to shut down from progressing in life. I have learned that even though I am still under some controlled rage, I still want to not be bothered by anything. By working hard to be not be bothered by anything which is probably what most people would logically want, the mind can be willed into clearing itself up!

It's definitely making a choice and putting in the effort to commit oneself to not let the actions of others offend you so greatly that it causes your actions to be influenced. When that happens, I think the person who is under this situation should pretty much go talk to a trained and caring psychologist. There are some people like that one person in a group who just vents about his or her own problems while talking about how bad others are. Since I've been in a mess with a few of those individuals, I'm now espousing that those people get some psychological therapy to find a way to not stress out so much and verbalize it!

Things Really Coming Together

To get to where you want to be in life, there needs to be some form of discipline. I'm realizing this more each day as I reflect on the true meanings of life. Honestly, deep down inside there are sometimes desires that are just completely obsessed about delusions. It's really hard to break out of that personal mood and not giving in to the flesh without feeling lousy, tired, bored, and lackadaisical. Therefore, my body just puts on its thrusts and then I make will to willfully committing personal sinful acts.

I'm not very proud of being ascertain with those moments. Some people have told me that pretty much everyone is like that where they fall short in something sinful. Although it may be small and the majority won't do something crazy enough to be put into jail, it's just something in our human nature that we tend to forget about.