I recall as a child, I used to pray frantically about asking the Lord to just protect me. I was quite an anxious and quiet kid that concerned a few jerks who said that I was scary. I don't really care about what they said, I'm just joking but yeah, I was very quiet and nervous about trying to fit in with everybody. People would even tell me in person that I'm so cool, and it would always surprise me. I was never satisfied with myself and the bubble around others for some reason. I just had that subtle form of insecurity with everyone because I was afraid of losing them.
That's all in the past now. It's this newfound joy that I find in believing upon Jesus. It feels like all my anxieties have been released for more longer periods of time now. It's like a huge weight on my shoulders have been lifted and now I can just feel normal again. I get to experience the drama that goes inside me firsthand or just not care about it. It's like God restored my privileges emotionally and physically and that now, it's about choosing to deny my own flesh to follow God's commands willingly. I think that is what is pleasing to the Lord; it's when we are at our strongest or weakest and we still decide to turn to God. I'm trying to point out that it is like having a constant fellowship with the Lord through spending time with Him by reading the Bible.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
