Having Some Fixing Up To Do

I think a big portion of coming to a personal epiphany really deals with allowing oneself to be vulnerable as scary as that seems from opening up about yourself. There's a defensive barrier that we all carry which could maybe be shielded by pride for guys and or from not wanting to risk getting into some conflict with jerks because of how you feel for women. I went to a meetup where all these ladies who are strangers to me opened up about how their relationships suck and how they react to them. It was good information personally and I was in the mood for smiling because it really makes sense and backs up something I read about dating women.

I just spent the first part of this entry trying to explain the benefits of allowing oneself to be susceptible to offending people and having them go off on you like repeatedly jumping and screeching monkeys from telling the truth. It first of all benefits you with a peace of mind and then secondly, you can rip back at those people if you so desire from finding fault about them reacting badly to the truth and the past which already happened. If you want to be combative in a stance with them going on the offensive, you can seriously finish them off and all because you just told the truth. It's morally speaking that powerful and useful.

It also can feel so embarrassing talking about my small problems and not feel good being laughed at while telling the truth. This is something I struggle with personally, but from opening myself up and letting me be vulnerable to my own mean side, I've learned to laugh and continue to persevere while keeping myself in high hopes.

A goal I have in mind of doing is putting in some extra work on myself after I'm home from a long day of work. I haven't been able to do it because sometimes, I might just turn on the TV or even look for entertaining things to occupy my time. It's not something I'm too proud about and want to limit myself by exercising enough discipline and getting going with fulfilling my taxing dreams. I'm becoming well aware of it but I'm still too slow to put myself into action, and it pretty much ends the day for me. I even want to take a shower before going to bed and I fail at doing that too often. I want to take care of my hygiene for maintaining good personal appearance that I've come to like and can attract pretty good feedback from others.

I'm trying to balance out my time to appease my maintenance goals but I end up disregarding them and going after reading about or watching entertaining things because it's easy and relaxing for me. Looking at it now, I'm not pretty happy about this lifestyle. I would like to put in extra work because I want to get further in life, along with these long hours I'm working at a company. I'm working at least ten hours a day and only getting paid a standard salary. The company isn't too bad in the workload for me though. I'm spending my days with some downtime and trying to maximize it so I could achieve even more greatness for my career. There is work for me to do and it did feel like it's wearing me out, but I see that it's a stepping stone for me to get to places.

I just need to find a way to put all my goals and fun activities together now when I'm off work. In an essence, I need to find the balance and this is what I'm striving after. I have the confidence now and don't mind putting a lot of time into something. I'm not so much stressing out about how hard something is but rather annoyed sometimes that it's not working out but dealing with those emotions, it always feels good to come up with a good working solution for me. All I can say is that I'm closing in to a truly successful and happy life for just myself and at the same time, working on getting myself a great girlfriend. 

Organizing Life In Simplistic Terms For Happiness

I believe that because of my personal demands and the willingness to struggle so hard to get there with so much more time spent than for an average person who is better because I'm like being nervous all the time,  I actually have practical goals that can feel like a pain deceptively but when I get in the act of doing them; I feel so much better than before still. It's an interesting observation in that I feel like things are a drag but if I push myself into it, I'm getting myself going being occupied. The least path of resistance to getting myself going is entertaining myself and doing fun things.

I have a really cool aspiration which is doing swing trading and it's not really taking so much effort anymore to make myself better at it. I do share some of my ideas with people who are interested in it though with just general and basic knowledge. My idea is the financial markets are so risky with so much competition and big players who influence it that it takes mastering your own personal style of trading to earn passive income consistently. It's a legal profession and I guess it's the best form of gambling out there for learning to make a living.

There's even some sound advice on managing one's own account for the risk factor, which is really hard to get used to. Everybody deals with greed and grief from losses and it's bound to happen. I had my successes and even blew out an account but I'm finding myself stronger than ever with finding a consistent trading pattern for myself. It's bound to be so different from another person, like they can't exactly copy my trades at the same time even though there is a unique tool that can allow for it now. I'm not a fan of it because I want other ways of looking at the market successfully, so I'm not sharing my strategies with the scrubs out there and only with someone who is a seasoned veteran! If you get there, I'm willing to talk about it but Forex is such a rare spot market to go OTC and on your own with so I don't expect to hear from anybody anytime soon and that yes, I'm fine doing my own research and honing my skills from over-trading a demo account!

I'm really on this whole learning to master Forex thing and it's a daily routine for me now. I have realized it's my dream to get good at it and earn myself some passive income so I don't have to work at a boring day job anymore.

Money Is A Cause Of One Problem

I'm noticing one problem now that money has with people who don't have it. They can't acquire or do expensive things while taking it for granted. For myself, I enjoy being a giving person on special days like my birthday or at a really good fundraising/awareness event. I don't mind hooking up buddies and acquaintances who I also think have selfish and lazy minds on my birthday or if I'm ever hosting a cool party again. I was doing it for the attention obviously and tried to make them legendary as possible while making it a fun experience to share with others. I'm willing to look past all those bad things about people when it comes to being a friend- just don't be a homeless man begging for money which makes me cringe and totally ignore. Honestly, I think the smart and giving solution is really handing them a pre-built pack of essentials to barely survive in the streets without giving them a chunk of change. Imagine creating a charity based off of ordering these packs and volunteers putting them together and then having it delivered to interested people. Looking at it, it makes me want to laugh because it's really thoughtful and a rare thing to do for strangers who became out-of-luck.

Therefore, if I want to enjoy my life with those vacations which I will spend very happily and wisely for my own family while being the main bread winner; I'm going to have to build up a lot of passive income, and I believe it's a common thing that a lot of patient people are into. I have an impulsive friend who is addicted to getting recognition and believes she will have it once she graduates in her elite medical school. I think she's going to be looked upon with obscurity and just cashing in because her job is going to pay well and might easily reach $200 K - $300 K for salary. She's likely to be one of my main traveling buddies because even though she can be annoying to me from being a hot asexual, she's like a little sister to me now and we have common interests to have fun doing together with.

Finding My Developing Grounds

As a 35-year old and still being single and occasionally annoyed by my mom who wants me to settle down and have a baby, I'm actually looking for a single lady who is nice and attractive and think will enjoy plenty of recreational, marital sex! My parents don't really have anyone for me to meet, so it's not illegal to stay single no matter how much it offends them. They are just being crazy then if they can't handle it and go off on me. Getting mad can make you easily confused and too selfish for putting in the effort for solving problems.

It's pretty funny overall but I like to compete with myself to always place the best foot forward and be pleasant all-around. I have learned that it takes effort to find happiness. Honestly, I think being a true Christian and following after the Lord really fulfills what I'm looking for in life. To explain, it means identifying this pure, innocent, and natural desire that just fills you up with energy. I think it's our passions and making sure they don't align to totally messing other people up or else they are going to come hunting you down unless you are good about hiding in the dark. Living for the good things that are preached in the Bible brings all of this passion alive and I'm just trying to write about it.

I'm trying to listen to the Scriptures though daily and it's something I can just tune into on my car stereo while driving. It's something I do as a routine, but I'm not always listening to it while letting it play. I'm trying to make the effort to pay attention the first time! It's not happening, so I'm just relenting to repeating to listening to the whole Bible over and over again. I'm already in the New Testament after finishing the Old and it's going to be my fourth time. I plan to keep on playing it all over again whenever I can get driving time to myself and maybe also if I ever have kids who can't move their mouths to complain about this activity!

Following Up To Last Post

I'm actually having a lot of fun these days and I have managed to mature with this whole social networking thing. I don't really care about who adds or removes me now; I'm also not in it for the attention because it's not my choice for making a living. It's just something I'm engaging in for personal entertainment whenever I practically feel like it. I'm always trying to be confident and smooth as possible while giving myself a nice laugh personally.

I think the people at that old church I went to around ten years ago are still affected by the event that the young and inexperienced spiritual leaders wrongfully put upon me. It's really frustrating because I want to have a camaraderie with them but I think they will never come around to it, even if I preach to them about how Jesus solves everything. I'm worried they are never going to fully recover physically. I know all it takes is just filtering it out whenever I'm tempted with negative thoughts. Maybe it's something they don't have enough maturity for doing to allow their minds to be flexible enough to think in smarter terms. I may have to leave them alone eventually and stop being annoying to them while coming across as a know-it-all.

Oh Yeah Baby! Victory!!! Whoo Hoo!

"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison." Matthew 5:25!

I had no idea Lee was against me while stating her case in court. She went against her word that she had nothing against me personally and went off while yelling in court with her anger issues that had nothing to do with us two personally. Luckily, I never had trouble with good behavior when it mattered so she couldn't hand me over to the judge. I have the good citizenship award of the whole elementary school I went to for five years. There's a reason I can practice good behavior around bad people well.

"But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles." Matthew 5:39-41!

I had a lawyer with me and I could have fought for a lighter sentence. I went for submitting to whatever Lee wanted. It shows that she lost in the end. She was in it for appeasing her own flesh and thought she had some divine appointment over me to do as she pleased! From how things turned out, she was false and I even submitted to whatever she wanted and she couldn't cash in any punitive charges on me so God limited her and I'm just plain lucky!

I can be a masculine and confident lad now so this sort of event is hardly experienced by anyone especially to come out on top in the end. I am writing this so I can save it and forever cherish my victory for fighting the good fight and trying to make myself spiritually buff under the Lord's terms. The last sentence is where I make the strongest impression, always so how I word it can strike paranoia in stupid or struggling minds. I am being coy about my actual intentions because I think it's stupid to be fearful about it.

Racking Up Points With The Ladies

I started out with one lady who was interested in helping me find the right lover for me. It then became two shortly after. Now, I have four total! I can keep on racking them up to help out. I think I still have two more, considering a lady friend wanted to introduce me to her co-worker who already has a kid. I told that lady who was interested in me that I wanted to go outdoors and then party later- she was not interested from being too tired. I guess it didn't work out and I don't really care to be honest. She was okay to me in appearance, but I'm not rejecting based on opportunity to get a date.

This one Korean lady was cool with me but she turned me down too in also a night-time adventure which was hiking for miles at a scary canyon. Okay, I don't think it worked out but she's into playing a sport that I like too. She's just too busy for me and I don't like that. Overall, she's not bad looking even though I could ask for a little more in some female features about her but I don't think it's going to matter. She was a little taller than me and I felt insecure. I should have asked and see how she felt and if she was like no, then yeah, she's too shallow for me.

Decisions and decisions and reflections and could haves and should haves. If I wanted to compromise, I would already have had seven ex-girlfriends by now! Wow, I'm so prudish for a guy and it's so weird, I know and I don't care. I want to have a girlfriend I'm comfortable with and that used to be a tall order but now I know what I'm looking for. There is a girl who I really genuinely like and she even let me hold hands and it was fun to be kissed on the check by her for a photo. She gives really cute hugs and she smiles while hanging out with me. I guess she really enjoys herself around me and wants to get to know me when we hang out. Yeah, and even people think we make a cute couple so the one thing I don't like about her is that her family is a bunch of pill-heads and she has a lady issue that can hamper her from being always outgoing. I would have to sacrifice all of that fun but I wonder how fun she would be since she's definitely not asexual.

Knowing What It Is To Be Truly Happy

"What if you don't know what you want to be happy?" is a question that I have been asked a couple times by friends. It's pretty bothersome to me and annoying to answer because I know what I'm looking for to be happy. I pretty much told them you need to take the time to figure out yourself and go soul searching. You can use the Internet these days for resources and type in anything random to find something that will bring satisfaction. I think those friends end up not searching and one of them keeps on looking at Instagram photos of hot people and the other will go on YouTube to watch videos that are strange but interesting theories of how life began. The key thing is that it's about putting in the effort and there's no easy way around it.

Without having this effort to strive after something that a person values, it's impossible to be truly happy. It's really all this hard work and determination to get there and the ones who do get to the top are going to be received by some jealous people. It's so joyful to have this passion and to combine it with so much heart and consistency to be without any errors. Being surrounded by a group with the same interest and working as a team makes it so much better. This is why I think watching professional sports can be so fun because they are competing every year for a championship.

One of my friends ends up being overwhelmed with life and fails to progress very often. I think he is a lazy guy who will only make excuses and be really stubborn about it in that he really is making the effort to live but isn't going to be happy. He's stuck in a pattern of thinking that is detrimental for inter-personal relationships. He will try to be a good guy at times though because he's depressed and wants to be the center of attention with friends, but he just doesn't get it and refuses to put in the effort. He's pretty unlucky because those things don't really interest him and he's about holding onto the little things that keep on reminding him of happiness. He's pretty much a naturally born loser and so I find him to be annoying!

To summarize on what it takes to know happiness, it takes effort and there's really no short cut. In a way, it makes sense with how life is and being an intelligent creature with emotions which I believe has been created to match the likeness of God. I'm not alone in this belief, so I will keep being crazy from trying to stay loving with everyone even with the annoying and stupid ones. I think the best way to show this is to try to be friendly even if I want to go off on them and when I do, just be honest about it.

Being Manly

From doing a little google searching on how a man can be sexually attractive to ladies, I learned that guys need to project masculinity and confidence while being able to flirt effectively with the lady they are interested in. The problem with getting girls is that some of these lovely ladies might already be committed to a relationship. I read today in the morning about how a famous actress thought it was creepy being around this one celebrity who liked her. He said let's be friends and then later he said they dated for a short period, and I guess it became so awkward for her after that. They also had a fifteen year gap and she just turned 18 so yeah that does sound pretty weird to me even though I want to claim age is just a number.

I think ladies find a guy to be creepy if he has a dating interest in her and keeps on insisting while she clearly has other issues to work on going on with her life and isn't in the mood for reciprocating it. I think every single, straight guy out there really should take some time out to understand the lady's faults and not take it too personal if it doesn't work out and move on to someone better for him. I can flat out say that I had past problems with some paranoid people and it is annoying and frustrating because I still want to be friends with them. I don't want to make them feel embarrassed by talking about what they did truthfully with others from having these crazy feelings about them, but I do want to defend my own personal honor. There are way better people out there than trying to win the hearts of selfish and terrified souls, but I'm so crazy and weird about just being friends.

I think manliness is basically attractive in the sense that it's about possessing the strength to reach success. I want to enjoy a really fun sex life in a marriage and at least twice as better than the fantasies porno videos can depict. I don't think it's such a tall order to be honest, but I want to get there while staying a virgin. It's really hard to stay sexually pure and so easy to buy sex. In a way, I think it's so manly to stay in control and reach success which is obtaining a goal for personal happiness. I think it's common to possess personal feelings of how things are so hard, tantalizing, or boring while striving after something and then wanting to be lazy about it in the end. This is really anti-productive and not inducing to success. I guess manliness in a sense is about knowing what you want to be happy and then being able to put up with everything that is contrary and still obtaining it. This in a sense builds a lot of personal confidence. Whether it's obtained for evil or good purposes, it's still attractive to a lot of straight ladies.

Getting Going Starting From Ground Zero

For starters, I could get my mind off of things that are click-bait on the Internet or watch-bait on the TV and work on becoming a rich and very athletic person. It's a lot of hard work and does require a lot of manly sacrifice because it's those feelings of being worn out that I'm competing against myself with. I'm crazy in that I'm willing to push myself to the limit, but I'm usually regretting it because I have a bad habit of procrastinating.

I think I have to fix two things right now on my mind. It's not laying off of things and also giving into lesser things that won't contribute to what I really want in life. It's weird because I keep on forgetting and I just let my mind run with whatever fun thing I had in mind. I'm reading up on things that I'm going to forget. I'm also letting myself catch a glimpse of porno every once in awhile, but I'm realizing that's so boring being on my own and I would need a sexy and loving wife who is into that type of fun to be satisfied now.

I'm fully hetero meaning that anything can catch my attention with the opposite sex and being sexually attracted to her. Whether it's her personality, intelligence, looks, charm, or whatever but I'm pretty smart about considering her before going for a full investment. I'm going out to lunch, so I'm ending it here for this one.

Weird Superstition

I have this weird idea that when a past antagonist reads this blog and she doesn't like something I put or arousing suspicion from becoming paranoid, I'm going to be seeing some cops driving around my vicinity. It's like there's no coincidence and I could be staring straight at cops while their car is passing me while driving on the road. I don't think cops like it too much either when they notice I'm giving them that look something is suspicious about them too.

I have learned to speak up and even if it means I'm going to be implicitly making fun of the people who are against me at that moment. It's been so silly and I've been so frustrated because I want to be friends and keep on trying to get there but their minds might still be in the wrong place. I'm dealing with people who came up with paranoid ideas on their own and I'm calling it malarkey because I'm only 5 feet 3.5 inches. I think a short guy like me can't be that scary so I think they were thinking stupid the whole time and being about whining. They tried to do the worst punishment possible to me and couldn't get away with it. They were being petty, so in that regards I'm lucky. I'm weird and crazy in that I still want to be friends with them.

The hardest part from having these crazy feelings of wanting to stay friends is that I will have to speak up and talk about how I think they are stupid and give examples for others to hear about that would be embarrassing for them. I don't want to do this, but it looks like I'm going to be having to resort to this because I just want to speak the truth while being frustrated about this. If they can't handle it, then I guess I can say that I'm better than them and there are way better people out there and more successful than they are and that I'm one of those living people who are among them.

Understanding How I Tick

It feels like I'm blessed from having a decent mind that remembers all my mistakes from constantly doing the same actions and then putting in the effort to fix some, noticeable problems to make myself happy again.  I'm realizing now that I really favor earning passive income and to get there, it requires a lot of hard work and picking things that are interesting to invest in! It's like a few failures could be waiting to happen and hurt so much, so why risk it and go enjoy life. I'm not one of those common people with that mentality. I don't want to be at an office or earning money while doing something that bores me to death sometimes from doing the same job.

Regardless of where I try to end up for making a living, it's still going to be hard work to come up on top, so it would make the most sense to do something that is satisfying. I don't think people really think so much about it sometimes from the amount of stress it causes and also from just hoping away while searching and letting themselves be taken away to whatever is offered and just settling with something that's good enough. I mean all these things are great but I prefer to settle with good-enough, passive income.

It looks like I'll be joining the ranks of some scary competition. I'm sure a lot of people want to earn money in their sleep. It's probably even a concept that has been long given up on from just settling with a day job and making time for things that matter. Mostly looking at my dad, he's at his office six days a week which takes up half of his life and then after work, he ends up being a couch potato and occasional golf with his moments of being an annoying guy who yells and argues about things that bother him.

On my end, my dad doesn't like to argue with me when he's mad. My mom doesn't like to argue with me either. No one really, when it comes to serious things that I'm totally locked into. I'm pretty set on my mind and path and it's considerably admirable. I'm starting to understand why I hate watching TV and playing poker so much sometimes. It's because for my personality, I don't want to waste time when I could give it for doing something better and also since it's my free time, I want to maximize my earnings from doing things that will lead to me gaining so much passive income. It's like I have to go for being creative and on a whim sometimes and hoping it catches on with a decent following.

Therefore, my plans for doing software engineering and beyond is basically just to potentially earn more money. It's flat out that simple and it offers me confidence of developing a platform that would make me passive income. I can be more competitive in a less-threatening and more profitable market. I can think outside the box all I want to and go searching for exciting things that are right under our noses. There's so much out there to go looking for.

I have done really well with my pledges so far. It's been tempting to go off of them so I don't want to overload with any more. I want to complete my two main pledges before adding on more. They are really important to me, but I have been fighting one of them a lot because it goes against my foolish nature. It's forcing me to be clever and come up on top from hard work. I guess that's great!

Putting In The Effort With Patience

I think in order to get good with anything that's out of the ordinary like learning to trade foreign currency pairs to make a nice living, it requires a lot of natural discipline. I find myself drawn to the trading world and it's something I'm into only because it fits a selfish interest which is earning profit while I'm sleeping and not having to deal with people face-to-face. I'm having a lot of fun learning to master the Forex market right now. I want to specialize only in that and I'm so stubborn about sticking around it, long as I can and while the government around here doesn't care if I do. I plan to live in the U.S. and make it my permanent home and don't see myself living anywhere else unless a terrorist attack forces us to become immigrants!

The thing I'm feeling a little lazy about now is sticking to my plans of becoming an expert software engineer. I do enjoy programming software but it's always challenging and stressful. Despite these drawbacks, it's like a real-world video game for grown-ups because getting the final product to work like a charm is so satisfying for my heart and belly! I'm a little lazy about playing really hard video games on expert mode. I would rather watch YouTube videos on how to survive and barely manage to pass them. I don't really want to put in the time because I think I have naturally been gravitating to reading and watching stuff for my pleasure. I'm just a normal, middle-class, and single man in the modern world with a few added privileges- I get to hang out with single ladies and a few of them are open about expressing physical interest to me. I am trying to find a girlfriend and I'm considering this lady friend with a personality I'm totally gushing about. I wish she was a bit more interested and capable with doing the outdoor activities I'm so crazy about.

The issue I might have with her family is that they are advocates for popping pills over anything that makes them sick, including a few crazies that might run in their gene pool. I don't know if I want to mate with dormant, crazy genes for the kids. I've learned to conquer my own mental illnesses which was depression and temporary stress disorder during my puberty that made me hear actual voices accusing me of being a homosexual, which is false! I know, I should have all the confidence in the world now if I was able to bounce back from it. Maybe it's because I just want to be lazy and take it easy for myself, which is the selfish and cowardly way for me.

I have her on hold right now and that lady's personality I'm into loves to sing so she says she would be cool if I dragged her out to a live band for Karaoke. It could be a fun date actually but I would have to include another female friend because she just likes to tag along and I'm pretty sensitive about meeting those needs. In a way, it would be a play three-some date I guess! Scandalous, but I'm not doing anything illegal. I think I'll bring another guy who likes to sing and do Karaoke too. It will be so fun!

Realizing How I'm Lucky

I'm realizing that I'm lucky because what makes me happy is working hard for something that I'm interested in and being successful at it. I have managed to put up good grades whenever I did put in a lot of effort with my classes, and I was one of the top students. I had a tendency to get lazy though when I stayed too long at the top and then someone else comes along to top me and then I end up becoming like number two, which sucked a lot for me! It's still not bad though to be among the top five of the whole school, but to stay at the top, it requires so much discipline and as a kid, I lacked a lot of it because I wanted to play a lot more than study. Still, I consider myself lucky because I had the drive to study enough and be able to become recognized for it by my peers.

In a way, being born with the drive and passion to succeed is luck. It means being perseverant and dealing with all of that excess malarkey that can drag any normal soul down to the grave. I'm just realizing it at this age now, and from being annoyed at trying to teach an old lady yesterday how to do basic things on the computer and even programming her remote controls from just following the instruction manual, she later told me that if she was twenty-five years old again, she would marry me! I take that as a really nice compliment and I said thanks.

I don't know too many people that closely but I think I'm at an enviable position and even though I'm short, I don't think I'm really seen upon as that unattractive. What I've realized from helping the old lady out yesterday with her social media, it really doesn't matter to get unfriended and friended by people on there. I was so sensitive and had some frustrations over it, but underneath all of that annoyance and fury, I just wrote something that isn't really that bad while I was blowing up underneath. I think I was too shy to mention what I was so bothered about with the people I was confronting, but they were annoyed with those messages and ended up blocking my messages. People are so mean, petty, and selfish when they put themselves in a bad mood. It's hard to control negative emotions and I have been around a lady who has a mental illness and she is like it all the time!

I have learned how to fight those jerks with negativity issues and I can harass them enough while getting away with it if I want to now for laughs. The worst they can do is go crying and put a court order on me to stay away, which I have no problems doing because I really have better things to do and don't mind listing them for the court to hear and be like I told you so later to those unworthy opponents. I think they were just going through a hard time and acting out really bad because of it and was too lazy to try to figure me out. I can be nice with those fools and want to be that way in the end, so it's not hard for me to put aside any personal grudges forever. I'm a fully-converted Christian these days even though I'm having a hard time understanding the Bible and can't listen to it that well while driving to work everyday. It's the only thing I'm really listening to when I'm on my own downtime with driving. I fully believe 100% that God's love even works on all the people I think are stupid and annoying!

This Is Crazy

I'm realizing that I have spoiled one of my friends into being like my little sister. She's an asexual so I have no interest in dating her even though she's pretty and still looking hot while putting on some meat. She hasn't been taking that care of herself with her looks and when she does, I'm just rolling up my eyes and not staring at her. It feels like I'm not entitled to her.

Anyways, it's pretty weird having an attractive friend and she's not really all that into you sometimes. She's really nice though at times and sometimes such a spoiled little brat! I just care about doing fun things and she's sometimes too moody for even doing that also. Oh well, I can continue to gripe away about this, but I'm going to have to suck it up because I'm like a big brother to her and it's not because I did something wrong, it's because she's an asexual!

Hanging out with an asexual, it's really confusing because she talks about her past ex which was so miserable for that guy. I didn't even know back then, but now since I do, she says that she's turning down now dates. I know why, it's because she's an asexual!

She thought her ex was one too like she said they were alike, like they were almost identical twins from sharing everything in common. I think the guy just acted that way so he could try to score with a beautiful girlfriend. He was pretty dumb because I texted him to back off and put those sexual moves in the closest and he was so mad about it and even shared the text with her! My goodness, I was trying to help and be a good sport about it while considering my thoughts of putting the moves on her and putting it in the backseat and letting him go for the ride all the way.  She was a little mad at me too for trying to give him the game plan that would make him win big.

Well, with things coming together, I seriously see her as only a friend and at most, like a little sister. It's because she's an asexual!

Need To Push Myself

I have to admit that the way I'm living my life is pretty selfish right now. At the same time, I'm trying to find myself a girlfriend now. I honestly would like to get married and get in that mood for some lovemaking! I don't even know at this point how to go about it with finding a hot girl and figuring out she's really nice and interested in doing the same with me.

For the most part, I could go after increasing my confidence by getting higher education and making a little more money. Along with that, I could also look to improve in all aspects of my life starting with time management. I think I need to be good all-around and detailed at everything as possible to still be pretty attractive to the ladies. There are a few things some guys are just born with and from their appearances it might help sway a good woman's heart. Those ladies are pretty shallow and I'm not really interested in them anyway. Guys who are into looks are pretty shallow too. I guess for me, I'm not really going to base all my decisions off the appearances of ladies I'm attracted to. I would rather get to know a single lady and find her beautiful and then become attracted, but that's just based on my preferences. Finding the right partner for me to marry is such a big deal and if she's not there, then I'm just not going to get married then. I have come to accept it, but I will keep on looking while looking to patch up my personal flaws I come to discover.

Last weekend, I ended up watching basketball and baseball to relax after I did my morning run. I just stayed home and felt like I was wasting my life away and that I should go about my business but I didn't get to it really. I just sat there and let my mind wander off while I watched some entertaining basketball games! I wrote last time that I felt that NBA games were boring, but last few days have been exciting because they were all-or-nothing elimination games. Even though my team wasn't playing, they still put on an entertaining show.

I have a love-and-hate relationship with watching television and playing poker. It's also spending a lot of time when it could be used for something else besides just relaxing. I mean it sucks to be struggling all the time and that's how I'm feeling sometimes but it's better to put my mind into succeeding because it could mean making more money in the end.

I honestly believe some girls can be shallow and some girls can be attracted to guys with a lot of money. I still want to find a nice and hot lady to marry, so I'm going to have to deal with those bad types of women out there and keep on pushing myself forward. I'm not really going to be using my money to show off with the women. I would rather conduct myself with being the all-around better person than the shallow ones who are out there.

Making The Adjustment

I realize that watching NBA playoff games last night actually became a little boring and was not very satisfying for me. I prefer challenging myself by studying and going for building more self-confidence. To do this, I would like to make a lot of money, work out, and keep on trying to listen and remembering the Bible clearly. Socializing is another aspect I have added into my same old repertoire and that makes it more fun because I sometimes don't know what to expect from people and who I'm going to meet.

Looking at it, I'm just living for myself right now and trying to gain so much fulfilment and happiness. It's also very cool to be around nice company and do things with. I do have a heart for giving back to the world, and it's not going to be for the ones who put a bad taste in my mouth. I usually don't really agree with everything in general, so it's going to be hard for me to find the right group to endorse. Hopefully, they won't ever become scumbags!

I'm pretty glad to no longer feel any religious influence in particular with that old, dumb church I was a part of around ten years ago. I don't feel that sad about it anymore and actually happy with the prospect of moving on to do better things for myself. I have this strong desire to reach my personal goals, which in respect are the optimal choices.

Overall, I don't think entertainment will last forever because some movies and TV shows do suck every once in awhile. It's sort of like a love-and-hate type of deal and nothing that can be done about it. I want to stick to something that will keep on prolonging the joyful feelings underneath. My mom says that I have found my space from figuring out my passions and striving to live out my dreams. I wish I was lucky in that I found this out while I was a kid, but I guess I'm about ten years away now from reaching my mid-life and that's not going to be too far away for me realistically. The thing is I have something that I'm into doing and don't mind for the rest of my life. I don't think I'll have a bad  mid-life crisis if I can marry a hot and loving lady, but if I never get to it, then it's something I'm going to have live with then.

It took a lot of effort to push myself into listening to my mind, body, and heart but I'm so glad that I did. To solving my ideally hardest problem, it's finding the right, attractive girl and it's really hard because I need more confidence and energy to keep on putting myself out there. I guess I can prepare and eat healthy meals and work out to increase my health , along with keeping up with the times to talk about interesting things with those ladies I feel physically attracted to in the moment. The right lady for me isn't going to be shallow, so it would mean that she doesn't care about being with a taller person or not and probably 90% of the ones I feel temporarily interested in are shallow. I'll just live with the confidence of surpassing them and doing a better job of living and maintaining myself while learning to be good at everything that's necessary or desired for me. Never know though, so I might as well ask them out or try to hang out and endure the grief from recharging my motivation to work hard and surpass them while also being the better person at the same time.

The fact is, I'm probably not shallow. If she gets old, then what happens to her looks? I don't care about it if she's my wife then and I will still live out my porno fantasies with her only! Yeah, I know it's pretty romantic. If an ugly lady impresses me for some reason and I see so much beauty and appreciate her beyond the moon and the stars which is a highly astronomical improbability, then I'm all hers. I don't think I'm shallow but marrying a hot and not so shallow lady will be the biggest reward with the highest risk for me and it's pretty motivating to want to marry her and enjoy those porno fantasies but with only the same wife all the time, so I guess let's keep it moving for me!

Rough Draft Of Personal Plan

Well, this is just something I'm conjuring up right in the moment. One time, this dude kept on asking me, "What's the plan?" I never really thought of it and I would make something up on the fly. I feel pretty bad because I should have put more thought into it, but my mind was at its limits and it was so uncomfortable with wanting to play so many video games and look at porno to spend my time during college. I don't know how I managed to graduate but it's probably because I was lucky enough to be committed to doing the coursework and being able to pass it even with odds stacked up against me. I also had no job to worry about and my parents to mooch off of, but I didn't really ask for much from them. I was stressed and lonely and so shy and at the same time, I tried to get out there and break my shell and manage an academic club as the president. It was really hard to do everything at once and going hundred miles an hour, but looking back, I feel content that I'm not playing video games nor looking at porno anymore. Instead of porno, I want to get married to a hot girl and enjoy some of those fantasies!

This is how it's looking for me with my ideas of regular living. Right after work, I go socialize if I ever make plans and even last minute or just drive home and go eat dinner. After dinner, it's getting ready to hit the gym. After working out, I take care of my second batch of personal hygiene. After that, I work on honing my trading skills or educating myself with completing those online classes, and then lastly get on a dating website! It seems like that's how I could apply my life for everything I want to have going for myself. I really have no time to go harassing people I want to be friends with now and arguing it's legal to them by talking about the embarrassing things they did around everyone and saying that they can't handle it and just making them feel bad. I think I can get away with it because in the end, I am confident I will keep myself under the legal context even while being pressured.

Finding The Best Routine

Obviously, the safest choice would be to spend time doing the most valuable tasks to do in descending order. How does one get there? I don't really know. Is it a bunch of malarkey? Perhaps because there may be those annoying family obligations to go to or having to put up with all the hassles of dealing with a struggling and close family member.

I think I'm closing in with finding my optimal and happy daily schedule so far. I have signed up to take online graduate courses to get myself a Mini-masters degree and it's awesome and practical. I get to learn subjects at the Master's level and finish them with a capstone project that I could include in my professional portfolio. The cost is also pretty inexpensive- compared to the traditional Master's degree being close to $25,000; it's only $1,000. The reason why it's this cheap is because it's open to anyone and it's a large audience that they can cater to.

I'm looking to complete nine of these graduate level programs and it will cost me only $8,105.40; they could even get cheaper and my expected completion if I go at an average pace will be around seven years. This is long enough to get a Ph. D. and another Master's. I am pretty sure about it because it interests me. At the moment, I'm studying software engineering and then after completing it in about a year with the final project, I will then do software development which will also have another final project to add into my portfolio. After these two foundational programs under my belt, I will complete the program for developing Android apps.

I want to deliver high quality apps, along with managing a team eventually if it ever gets that complicated. I also plan to complete programs on design thinking, corporate innovation, and project management. My final endeavor is to learn video game developing because I feel it's a long shot to earn a highly sought-after job and would cater more to being an obsessive and fun hobby. I have a lot of options for data science also, but it might be something I do if I end up running a business and need the knowledge for netting it bigger earnings.      

Humility

I think that dumb broad named Lee at that church which I think is a sham from only basing it like ten years ago, caused a sleeping giant to wake up inside of me. I am in competition with myself to be the best person all around so I want to practice better humility than Lee. I also want to talk the smack down, like the Rock did in that WWE show back in the Attitude Era to her. I am going to practice humility while trash talking all the way from going first base to home separately on the lady I get to marry. I'm never going to marry Lee because she's too dumb for me!

I wrote a poem that said these two ladies are unattractive while being so concerned about it. They were offended and so they have issues with being sensitive and maybe they had that bad time in their month! Being all moody and flashy and periodic man, I wrote a sensitive poem that expressed my concerns about them being unattractive! It should win an award and it's legal too.

You know these two guys acted like neutered dogs by trying to do the dirty work of those two unattractive ladies with me. They aren't even their boyfriends so hence, I'm accusing of them having been so neutered. Maybe after one, two, three, or several kids they decided to make themselves neutered while losing so much money off their paycheck. They did bad for a populating world and can't control themselves- such neutered dogs.

Yes, I'm going to practice better humility then all of those fools put together! I am always going to be the leading champion in my competition, even if it takes only one final round to win it all. After winning, I will keep on being better and staying that way to keep the championship streak alive all until the day they all die!

Still On My Mind

It's really crazy in that thoughts of which NBA team is going to win this year's championship even though I think Golden State has taken over my slight obsessiveness over porn. Once again, I want to find a hot girl who isn't shallow to marry and enjoy some sexual fantasies over just getting bored from watching porno. It's like I beat out all of those negative emotions now and willing to laugh at all the rejections I get from those shallow ladies. Yeah, I know it's because I'm too short! I'm still going to surpass them and argue they have to rely on somebody and I don't have to so I have the better life!

From being snubbed, I feel this energy to work hard and surpass those people who did. I'm in my world which is a competition to always be the better person and all around including being the nicest person and smartest conqueror there is out there. With all of that negativity, it didn't amount to much as it turns out because I stayed legal while being so tempted to want to just gain the knowledge of setting up annoying traps like having tar and chicken fur all over that group of stupid and fake Christians in that sad little church called Hope of God! If I was really hard pressed and not laughing so hard about it, I would go for it and not mind hearing about it in the news with them complaining and crying about alleging they are persecuted by society with added pretensions. I'm a Christian too by the way and I'm arguing it's legal because they are still alive and the tar is easily washable so they are a bunch of poor sports and can't get over it.

Overall, it's a competition for me and always is going to be so I might as well work hard in those areas to surpass my opponents, even the indirect ones. I have the motivation now to make it happen. I just have to work on being smart about my addictions and learning to control them and always giving it my all and accepting all the bad that happens while turning the page and still giving it my all everyday.

Making Happy Decisions

What's so hard about making the right decision sometimes is that it's hard to get away from natural drives and to all of a sudden indulge in its pleasures. I'm sure some people are just straight-out lucky because they get their highs from studying so hard and working on very cool things that would make them successful and looked up to by others. I honestly would like to have this going for myself, but because the world is shallow and the majority is a bunch of scrubs, there will be some people who will just flat out think I'm too short to be in some high leadership role. It's like from growing up with stereotypes and having been around it, I'm not going to find that much favor with the scrubs and it's totally fine since I'm calling out on the world being so derogatory while guffawing about it.

I'm in the mood for competing and surpassing those scrubs and be like what are you and who are you while acting in that manner if I don't like them from being shallow. It's basically about always being the better person for me and being in my own competition without them knowing about it. I'm always competing to be the nicest person out there and indulging in beating them with any arguments I feel passionate about and feeling so good if I ever shout at them that I have to apologize to them about it. All of it is a game to me and it's legal, so bring on the consequences which aren't going to happen from perceiving it at a stupid angle and if it's so offensive because I'm there to stay friends and trying to force my opponents to stop being so crazy.

Defeating Personal Laziness

First thing is first, it's all about admitting to laziness after seeing no results. The next thing is to put in the effort to fix it. Lastly, it's to be lucky and keep on repeating the action that was fixed. Unfortunately, this solution won't apply for people who are mentally sick or too forgetful! I told a friend it's because she might be mentally handicapped even though she grew up pretty intelligent. Maybe, it's because she just wants to be lazy instead!

Anyhow, I have to admit it's laziness while I'm feeling sleepy and not feeling it in the moment. I need to push myself into action- it's the only way to make it work. All those former athletes and has-beens and never made it to the point of being elite enough to go pro to live out their dreams turned fat and lazy. Why do I put up with their opinions still? Actually, I already forgot because I'm a forgetful person. Maybe it's my mental handicap because I'm so filled with forgetfulness when I just don't really care.

I need to defeat my laziness and forgetfulness by actually caring about what I'm doing in the moment! I need to lift up my cries to the Lord in prayer and hopefully he'll make me feel lucky and then I can keep on going my way.

Letting Go Of Things For The Hard Life

This is pretty much what's on my mind. I think Poker sucks because I lose too much at it. I'm so close to saying those two words but if I'm at a card playing casino or in Las Vegas, what else am I supposed to play and try to earn a little income off of even though I'm going to lose it all in the end!

The fact that I can seriously model my trading career off of something like automatically playing poker while I sleep, I have something going! I can just let it run and watch my fake money fall into that deep depressing pit of minus dollar signs. I'm still trying to find something consistent and I finally landed on only one method that works like a charm and is nice for me, but I want to have two more backup methods so it's going to take longer for me to be satisfied and winning fake money with an actual business running plan.

It's crazy because after all these years, I'm so systematical about trading and emotionless and not getting all hopeless and angry from losing at trades. I do get excited to see long profit runs though and that's what I'm living for. If it's consistent enough if I would do the math, then yeah here comes my fake retirement and living out my dream life of just playing and looking for a hot girl who isn't shallow to marry.

In the meantime, I need seed money and I'm going to do that by working for landing a job that I personally wouldn't mind wearing a blue collar for. I want to be a software engineer and then transition over to a project manager of video games. It would be a lot of fun to test those games out too and even play competitively with a bunch of kids as a grandpa.

On the side, I have so many hobbies including trying to be a doctor who wants to do it for no pay. I'm so crazy, so yeah I need this money-that-comes-to-me-while-I-sleep to work eventually and hopefully it happens in the next three months because that's the minimum amount of time I need to convince myself it works.

Dreamful Goals

I want to blast off into outer space and journey where no man has ever gone before and be the first to discover a safe planet and shake hands with a complete twin on the other side of the galaxy! It's all lies. I don't really care.

Seriously, I want to do a lot of fun activities and act like I'm retired while making a lot of money in my sleep from trading in financial markets. They are so controversial, yes, because some people who know what they are doing prey upon the other people's hard-earned money and use it in their checkbooks. As long as it's still barely legal, there's no feds coming around my house from making money in my sleep. I'm totally not lying about it.

I want stable income and to have the confidence to marry a hot lady who isn't shallow. First of all, how am I going to find her with so many guys already covering the tracks to get to her? It's like I would have to go treasure hunting in the far reaches of the Amazon world and find someone so gorgeous that I rip her from that tribe after paying the chief a handsome salary and make her come back with me. It would be such a cool story to tell of how I landed a gorgeous wife who doesn't take care about how I look and only did it for her dad.

I'm going to play a ruthless game of surpassing all the shallow ladies out there, especially those hot ones who want to be with taller guys! I will go do that, yes and even have some of my lady friends supporting me. Actually I showed a nice well-dressed photo of myself to Facebook while standing next to a taller lady who was literally all smiles because she chose to stand on my side. Nobody cared except for seven ladies who are already married and two shorter guys than me (5' 3.25") and a normal guy who thinks I'm pretty tight as a person.

I showed it to one of my less shallow and close lady friends and she said I looked nice. She says I'm the shorter version of her dreamy and ideal guy and doesn't think it's bad that I'm a little shorter than her. She doesn't really care at this point in our friendship. She even wanted to help me look even better by giving me her opinion. Now that's what I'm talking about!

Discipline With Situational Awareness

Boy, I saved this title over the weekend and I wrote nothing but now I'm running with it so let's see what I end up with for just myself. I saw numbers of readers climbing and it reminds me of the stock market. I'm running like a stock market and not getting paid for donating my time with writing all silly and seemingly full of it and even controversial over the little things that don't make sense with having to be bothered about.

In a way, it's painful entertainment and can be cringeworthy in all cases. The dumb ones unfriend me and don't know how to block it out that well. To be smart with me, the person has to just stay relaxed and 95% of them do. There are the ones who are shaky like these ladies I constantly hang out with and consider to be a friend or little sister. They get mad, unfriend me, and then friend me again after getting over their periodic episodes and happens monthly too!

It's a bunch of baloney I should add with gaining situational awareness. I have enough of it to notice but I'm so forgetful about it while being task-orientated and my mind thinking about something else that is fun. It's leaving me well unpleased about it and I want to be content so I'm going to have to put in the effort again while I'm so tired to get my money's worth. Time is money!

Playing Smart In A Shallow World

It looks like along with the top contenders in the world, everybody else is a scrub! Their opinions are pretty much stupid and meaningless. As long as the person isn't doing anything illegal and can really put up a crazy fight in a verbal argument and in some cases win then I don't see what's the point of trying to engage in any conflict and trying to stay relaxed the whole time. It can be really hard and I guess the person would have to still be lucky after putting in all that hard work to be recognized for it while being at the top and don't even mind it so much.

There's only one argument to people who have been bothered by me. If it's such a big deal and is bothering too much then ring it up with authority and let's see where it leads to with the consequences. If the consequences don't happen then the person is crazy while being full of it and I just don't care about it because I'll still go for being friends. I can be friends while being joyful over having won and knowing it can overshadow them from having thought stupid. In all cases, I have ended up winning because I know I won't ever go there with doing illegal things. Even when it came to physically fighting guys I pushed myself into when I was straight out of high school for a few years, I just went for full mounting them and pinning them for three seconds and then helping them back up. I really imagine myself putting my foot on the butts of three guys separately and simultaneously during the same time and pushing them head-first into a bush. I wish I had the guts to do this and guess what, I now do from all the confidence I have learned to uphold. I'm never getting the chance again though, so it's a bummer and I have to move on from what could have been. Actually, it doesn't matter if I did it or not. How everything turned out is irrelevant actually.

I just made big mistakes while I had a few chances to get lucky with finding a nice lady to date and marry. It could have been my time to settle and I regret not going in for it and looking for a solid job at the same time and just being stupid from being addicted to my video games and not being able to get my mind off of looking at naked ladies with free porno. I haven't gone once to a strip club either surprisingly in all these years and I turned it down even with this girl who was interested in me romantically. Yes, I consider myself to be a loser from turning her down! Man, she is taken and turned out to be great even though she was so pouty and I was annoyed by it back in the day.

I mean because I'm not going to ever be perceived to be at the top of my game and my appearances aren't that great from birth ( just my lack of height and a few bald patches to fill in to be honest) and ladies like to look at those things to judge attractiveness naturally, I'm just going to have to accept it and do the best I can while hoping I can get by. The world isn't fair because it's full of sins and people being tested into doing crazy things constantly. It's horrible, but yet I have come to believe there's a loving God out there who sent Himself in the form of a man and let himself die a really humiliating and painful death. The fact that God is so humble like this and graceful- I still stay in worship at heart while reflecting on what He did on the cross and still trying to pay attention closely while sluggishly listening to the Bible during my commutes.

Actually, I don't think hot women who show themselves to be shallow are great people to begin with and I want to show them up by outperforming them and finding fault with their living situations. I consider them to be shallow if they can't help it but admit they are attracted to taller guys. I might as well do it all in my power to surpass those ladies and say a thing or two whenever I can get the chance and try to have a laugh. I mean I can seriously argue about it and get them to probably agree with me and they will continue living that way while knowing I see something wrong in it. This is just the way it has to be and it's all from having been stupid in the beginning and it just keeps on piling up. I need to get lucky now based on how I believe God is allowing freedom to reign in the hearts and minds of people. In the mean time, I believe in concentration, hard work, being smart, and being a great person much as possible while arguing everything that is seen upon as selfish is actually legal!

Pushing Myself To Being Consistent

It looks like with what I want to do, I'm never going to get everyone on my back to lift me up and be supportive. People have time for doing their own things and whatever it is they like to read or watch to kill time. I just can't really rely on anyone to help me, and I have to literally do things on my own. If I'm going to get things done for making a lot of money and require assistance, then I'm going to have to pay the people I hire! The only good thing I think civilization has to offer is free information thanks to the Internet. People are giving away these free things because it must make them feel good like I do as well. Communication is like that in some sense and there's good which can come out of it.

It sort of looks like this with my past, stupid adversaries- I'm making progress and trying to talk to them to the point of wanting to just be friends with them and arguing to the point that it keeps on making them more sad. I actually don't mind and think it's funny! It's just that I don't have the time to go in and collect my victory now because I don't have the time for it from preferring to do other things that make me happy.

In other words, it looks like I won't have the time to watch TV or go on YouTube to watch cool videos for inspiration or entertainment value while watching commentaries about famous people. I want to basically work on myself to be happy. There's so many things I could choose from but the biggest thing I'm interested in is making a lot of money from doing something I enjoy. The closest thing to it so far is winning poker battles and designing software. I believe that I'm done with my education with trading and poker. It's just trial and error now and I really don't like losing but it's something I accept. There's really no way around it but spending a lot of time and taking breaks if it's just driving me crazy from not winning enough.

Trading and poker are two activities that I could be done with in under two hours, but for software engineering there's so much I could pick up on and so I should be putting my focus onto these things while also working on chiseling out my personal appearance just for the confidence and putting in the effort to have fun while socializing with people and getting to know them better. It's a lot of work basically and seems like a huge valley to climb while being close to the bottom so it won't always feel fun while knowing reaching these goals will be so fine and dandy.

I'm still powered along with wanting to be better at it. I want to focus on getting good with all these details now and think it's just for the fulfillment rather than letting my time pass by while trying to have fun on my own. When I look at it, I can actually keep myself really busy but it's just that I have been procrastinating because I want to be entertained.

I really need to snap out of this tired feeling and mindless decision to just watch random sports videos on YouTube and I did it yesterday for trying to find some inspiration. I think in little bits is actually fine and will stay addictive while being on my mind all day with wanting to give into it for awhile. I already have porno to battle that with. It's been already a week and I was thinking of doing it, but I just chose not to look at porn. It's the same old repetition- I want to go find myself a suitable girl more instead. Right now, it's the NBA playoffs and even though my team was out a long time ago, I still want to keep up with it and see what happens.

Yet at the same time, there's some conflict of interest. I want to have personal fulfillment while being willing and able to work very hard for it. Everyday though, I feel this drain of energy that makes me want to succumb to watching stuff and my mind is like telling me to put it off or that I should pick up my butt and get it done. I tried multi-tasking but nope most of the focus went to those YouTube clips and one of them was long enough to put me to sleep on my uncomfortable chair that hurts my butt. Well, I guess I can do better today. It's just that I will have to do the things I know will be good for me from Day 1 until Day 100 to turn it into a healthy habit.

Sacrificing Fun Things For Happiness

I'll start out writing with an example that happened. It's so fun watching YouTube videos about anything that's pretty inspiring. On the other hand, there are personal things that I would like to work on and to reach after some goal that would make me so happy. In a way, I want to value my happiness more in the end rather than having fun while being in the moment. It's pretty hard to work on those things I want to do because my mind feels so drained. The feeling is a little depressing, but when I end up putting my mind to like watching TV or doing something entertaining, it goes away. The problem is that I sometimes can't take out the tired and sad feeling while putting my time into something I know that I want to do for improving myself. 

I guess this is where I need to recognize it and put in the effort to make it happen and to go after the things I'm dreaming of obtaining. I mean, I can feel like I have all the time in the world because I don't really have to answer to anybody right now from not being in any significant relationship. The crazy part is that I do want to find an attractive and loving girlfriend to possibly occupy most of my personal life. There has seriously got to be a reason why I'm at where I am now. It didn't really have to do with me being short in general, but probably just letting myself be defeated by it and letting it walk all over me while missing out on a few, lovely girls who I think really showed some love interest in me. 

I have learned now and so I'm a much more aware person and at the same time, with time flying by and walking away from those past experiences, the doors don't really remain that open anymore. I think I told my parents that I'm okay with meeting other ladies they want to introduce me to, but they haven't been able to get me to meet really anyone either. I'm seriously on my own here and it's something I'm going to have to put a lot of effort into and hopefully, I'll get lucky someday. 

Creating An Effective Trading System

I'm not personally giving away my personal style of trading based on years of refining it and just a few months of finally noticing something that repeats itself for money. I will discuss about what I think goes into successful trading from all the reading I have done in years.

First off, it's to understand the indicators that are going to be used. The most common method from traders based on a survey from a live web seminar I watched said moving averages. There are so many different types of indicators out there but mainly there are two things- it's leading and late indicators. The leading indicator can cause the market to give early tells and possibly cause a lot of frustration because there are also false signals and lots of money getting lost. The late indicator lets one know when a trend has been set and maybe it could be the end of a trend and cause some more money to get lost, along with wishing the trade was made earlier!

Okay, so it's not really fun trading because it looks like there's always going to be a gamble either way someone goes. Basically, it comes to learning most of the tools of the trade and sticking to personal comfort level and continuously trying to refine the skills by testing them. Step one of what's needed goes to learning to do proper analysis, no matter how it's getting done. Whether the trader looks at the news or charts for setups as long as it's consistent enough to make a profit.

The second thing that's needed is a proper reward-risk ratio. In a way, I don't find this to be accurate at all because the markets are always fickle but it's more like an incentive to get into a trade and recognizing something similar to it. It's like one of the more highly probable trades that can ring in the big bucks. A good reward-risk ratio to look for is 2 to 1. So placing in a $2 bet will net $4. To break even with these trades, the winning number of trades can never be below 33%. It's a lot easier to break even with this risk-reward then going for something like 1 to 3. It's really ugly because trading is hard and losses take place and making only $10 while risking $30 will mean that the trades need to be 75% accurate to break even. I like seeing big money while waiting it out in a risky market, but some traders are different. Next step is to determine how you will find the acceptable level of reward-risk ratio.

The last thing is to determine the entry and exit points. Timing is everything in trading and being off by an hour can mean a huge loss compared to that payday you were expecting from your analysis. To tie all of these things together, it requires a lot of practice and learning to be consistent at it. If the trades can be profitably made for three months straight, then I believe it's time to take it live. Still, it's a risk that you would be taking because anything can happen in the markets so a lot of resiliency would be required with the swings that could take place.  

Crushing Crazy Opposition

The main rule of thumb that I believe some people might have trouble dealing with is not being angry from being wronged and talking bad about them and even holding a grudge. As long as the person isn't really doing anything illegal, then it's all fine with what he or she is doing obviously even if it's morally questionable, so repulsive, or very annoying.

This is the main argument that I have learned to uphold and it really works well with people who have gone crazy with me. As long as I'm not doing anything illegal, then the other people are being full of it and should get some therapy to let the grudge go or find another solution to deal with it. Report it to the authorities even and let the arguing take place, but if the issue isn't something that isn't going to lead to any seriously bad consequences while the other person tries really hard and doesn't do anything about it to begin with then he or she is just being lazy and mad about something that really isn't that important. When I'm mad though, I have been so unpredictable while trying to control my temper from trying to be nice, but I sound so mean and off-putting while I'm saying things to make myself laugh. This really ticks off my opponents who I am trying to still be friends with. They think I'm literally a scary person too- seriously, a 5-feet-3.25-inch man. I really have to use this line on them and others who try to talk to me about it and are thinking of supporting them. I feel like I can get them all to shut down now and not even act entirely like themselves by heavily influencing them to be like how I want to be treated.

I never ended up in jail nor in a mental hospital and I really like winning these types of arguments, so I will keep on respecting my crazy opponents and even laughing at them while showing them up that I'm not crazy while being calm and solving my personal problems with them. It took awhile to receive this confidence, but it was hard getting there and I feel that I'm personally lucky to have got there. I should have said that I felt lucky with this cute and supposedly normal and decent girl I matched up with on Tinder when she asked me, but I ignored her so she removed me as a match.

I am really noticing a good amount of young and hot ladies with their friends having fun at night clubs, especially at college-oriented after parties. I just need to think about a cool opening that wouldn't seem so creepy to them, and I do have a preference of the girl's personality as well even if she's hot, so I don't know what exchanging a few lines for a date will do for my personal fulfillment. Maybe if I can hit it off with a hot girl then it should be fine and to see where it leads to next. I think I see more potential if I go for hanging out with her and getting to know her. I'm willing to put in those extra miles besides going for fun based on physical attraction. The chances in those instances for me won't be that high right now, unless maybe she's pretty stable with herself and likes what she sees in me. Those girls are around but maybe already taken! I hope I can find someone attractive who has been busy to date and feels some sort of attraction to me, while I keep on working on myself and totally getting it. Because I'm short and feel like being the alpha while being around normally taller people, I really feel like I have a hard time with this and so to drown in my sorrows, I'm going to work hard to keep myself happy and socialize while appreciating the attractive ladies or new people I get to meet.