It looks like my mind has a hard time picking up on complicated lessons. I have to always go back and repeat it, in order to actually understand it. This is pretty much how my mind has to study, even though I would love to get everything down the first time. Maybe over time, as I keep on studying and able to recognize patterns from being used to them, it will seem that way for me.
It really is about having dedication and putting in a lot of effort to focus for achieving a desired goal. I'm starting to be about narrowing my focus and putting it on a few things to specialize in because I want to make a living off of it and to also keep building a lot of confidence. It isn't really that easy, but it can be fun and rewarding to complete some personal challenges.
I have been reading up on a few secular views with the Bible on how some scholars think they are made-up stories. I don't really buy into them just because of my faith in it. I believe in the whole living holy life and walking with God through putting my trust in Jesus. The main argument for Christ I can recall is that the Dead Sea Scrolls verify that the Book of Isaiah, which Jesus in the New Testament claimed pointed to him, was written well before the birth of Christ. It's referred to as the Great Isaiah Scroll and was the only scroll fully intact and dated to be around 335-324 BC and 202-107 BC.
From what I recall long ago, a mathematician calculated the odds of this coming Christ figure in the Book of Isaiah to come to existence to be around 0.000000001% and it pointed to Jesus. The only time it would fit, it would have to be Jesus of Nazareth who is found in the New Testament. Well, I've been a believer and pretty satisfied with knowing this much so far. I'm no scholar either, but can put my entire faith in Christ and try to always live a holy life for him. With my faith in Christ, it pretty much bridges my belief in the Old Testament to also be completely true for me. I probably won't ever fully understand it though, so that's another issue for me.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
Tuesday, July 30, 2019
Patience With The Long Run
Currently, it's like not everything is revealed but I do understand how I tick and what my intentions really are for making a lot of money and creating a lot of free time for myself. What's pretty cool about developing software is that the cost is pretty low in that all you need is a computer and obviously I have one from learning to be software engineer. There are a few illegal ways to get around with obtaining commercial software to help make money and almost everyone knows how. I'm not going to cover how to get away with it.
The way I really see it though is that once you master how to use a software to make money then you should pay off the developers by buying an actual copy. It's just that a regular person will never know if he or she will find something very useful with it. In other words, I just want to prolong the trial license by turning it into a full version that never bugs the heck out of me after a few years pass by and I forgot I even had it. If I'm going to be making a commercial run with it as one of my backbones, then I'm purchasing a legal license. It's better to leave nothing to chance and not face severe consequences from forgetting to cover up a few windows, figuratively speaking.
I'm really enjoying it with better confidence for myself these days. It's a pretty nice influx for maintaining a smooth day. I have a routine going in other words, and I'm actually pretty happy about it. One of these days, I'm still working at taking off and it's a good load of work that I'm excited with grinding away. I just need to figure out how to incorporate improving my fitness with diet and also my appearances for building more confidence with approaching the hot ladies I know I'm really into.
The way I really see it though is that once you master how to use a software to make money then you should pay off the developers by buying an actual copy. It's just that a regular person will never know if he or she will find something very useful with it. In other words, I just want to prolong the trial license by turning it into a full version that never bugs the heck out of me after a few years pass by and I forgot I even had it. If I'm going to be making a commercial run with it as one of my backbones, then I'm purchasing a legal license. It's better to leave nothing to chance and not face severe consequences from forgetting to cover up a few windows, figuratively speaking.
I'm really enjoying it with better confidence for myself these days. It's a pretty nice influx for maintaining a smooth day. I have a routine going in other words, and I'm actually pretty happy about it. One of these days, I'm still working at taking off and it's a good load of work that I'm excited with grinding away. I just need to figure out how to incorporate improving my fitness with diet and also my appearances for building more confidence with approaching the hot ladies I know I'm really into.
Getting Used To Wins And Losses
Overall, I'm looking to average out and make a profitable run by taking money away from other traders. In addition, poker is really where gambling is taking place and so I have decided to add in something called the chill effect. It just means that if I blow up to earning 100 nickels all of a sudden from playing my first few hands in the nickel table, then I'm sitting out for the whole day. If I lose 50 nickels or more, then I'm out for the whole day.
Poker is something I expect to be facing a cycle of wins and minimal amount of losing days. I have a pretty decent system in place that has been taking away some change from other players. Yet, now I realize how stupid I was to double my initial $50 from playing only with nickels and then to lose $50 again from just sitting there consistently and not getting out when I should. I was really greedy about winning, and it was stupid. Now, I'm accepting how I won that $50 and playing it cool and putting on the brakes now to stop the bleeding and over-stimulation of winning so fast!
This is like a business, but in this case it's about taking money from others by trying to outsmart everyone else. I'm going to have my days where I get educated for a small price by a few good players but for the most part, lose to lucky opponents! I hate it when that happens and quit for long as I need to! After all, it's only a game and putting money into it to try to gain profit raises the stakes.
Poker is something I expect to be facing a cycle of wins and minimal amount of losing days. I have a pretty decent system in place that has been taking away some change from other players. Yet, now I realize how stupid I was to double my initial $50 from playing only with nickels and then to lose $50 again from just sitting there consistently and not getting out when I should. I was really greedy about winning, and it was stupid. Now, I'm accepting how I won that $50 and playing it cool and putting on the brakes now to stop the bleeding and over-stimulation of winning so fast!
This is like a business, but in this case it's about taking money from others by trying to outsmart everyone else. I'm going to have my days where I get educated for a small price by a few good players but for the most part, lose to lucky opponents! I hate it when that happens and quit for long as I need to! After all, it's only a game and putting money into it to try to gain profit raises the stakes.
Monday, July 29, 2019
Plans For Making Money On My Own
First things first, you have to pick something that you really enjoy doing and can see yourself having a lucrative future with while others who care about you the most won't have too much concern about your choice. If a short Asian guy like me and who is already in his mid-30s wanted to all of a sudden become a pro basketball player, then well, I'm going to be screwed and the people who care the most about me will think I'm joking all the time! The delusion is that I feel like what the NBA athletes are doing is something I could do if I spent years only focusing on basketball. It's just that I'm not willing to put in the time and will never have enough confidence to do so.
If you don't care about making a lot of money and really happy with how much you have going then that's awesome, and I wish I knew what it's like with getting around to do all the things you wanted to do without enough money while being a nobody! The Bible does say to not put all passion and worries on this world and to seek after living a holy life. Also, the Bible mentions that for the rich people, they should be generous to help out the needy from having compassion. This is honestly the spiritual responsibility I would like to have and feel pretty good about!
I have my ethics out of the way and feel comfortable about being a billionaire even, if I was lucky enough but I think I'll strive for enough millions to just not worry about my finances while not looking to spend it on stupid things. Maybe a few family health bills and to travel to cool places and work on some fun cars or gadgets to pass the time. I basically wouldn't have to work and could do whatever I wanted- this is the independence I so long for and value.
I have next figured out my motivation behind why I want to do this. I have been trying for what feels like a few years now, so I still feel young about going after these plans. There's really no opposition with what I want to do, except for my mom who really doesn't know a lot about what she's talking about sometimes and still speaks her mind out. I have actually convinced my mom that investing in stocks and swing trading is the way to go for me, despite all the risks associated with it. I have discussed with her a few principles to mitigate risk and she understands them along with acknowledging her own mistakes with playing the stock market she could have controlled.
I'm definitely ready to keep on learning to invest in stocks and swing trade Forex. I'm still going at it and really eager to finalize my personal trading system I was so lucky to discover and won't ever share with anyone in this world. I think the young lady friend I promised to teach isn't going to say anything about it if I never bring up any success stories, and she also has a terrible memory so she's probably already forgotten about it. I also told her it's really stressful and deals with losses which is my disclaimer for everyone who wants to go into this business. I'm enjoying the challenges associated with it, so I'm one of those in it to thrive for the long run once it takes off the ground. Number one thing is to put in a lot of time experimenting to know your market of interest until there's a 90 day consistency of profit. I have to start over again after being profitable for 30 days and ending up with a losing month to break even. I was really close though to getting to 60 days. Maybe next time.
Another cool interest for making money is developing apps and eventually managing some complex video game projects which would be really cool. I'm very profit-oriented and feel that video games are the way to go because it's entertaining and can serve as a fun distraction for a lot of depressed souls out there until they can find themselves back from out of the dump. I was one of those addicted gamers treating it like a way of life and had so much fun along with the frustrations and miseries of constantly losing to pretty good players. It's actually good memories and wish I was driven enough to be more socially engaged in the gamer's community back then and even pick up a chick to marry from there!
Friday, July 26, 2019
Addicted To Winning
I think I care only about winning because it's a lot of fun and for something like playing a nice game of hold-em poker which is a field of potential opponents to take their money away from, I just want to keep on winning which means continuously making money off of them! From losing, I end up hating poker for awhile and walk away from it. It's a free country, so play something to try win whenever you are in the mood and then when it goes away from losing, take all the time you need to be away from it.
I now understand this whole mentality of taking a break from something. It's just not healthy to sometimes set a certain goal especially when it deals with gambling, and it's just better to settle with what you have right there and move on.
To keep this flow of winning going, I understand now a different perspective with playing against other opponents to take their money in poker. It's to take advantage of everything that's there for the taking. For the site I'm using, it's legal only because there's a loophole and the money that you earn comes in the form a check from a company that has nothing to do with poker. Also another one is to transfer your earnings into bitcoin and invest some more with it which is another fun way of circumventing until the government cracks down on this legit Internet casino business. Until the day it happens and then I would have to show my face at an Indian casino, I'm going to take advantage of this poker site that allows US customers.
There's definitely a winning model for me and the way I see it now is that it is gambling and all about being addicted to winning! I only care about winning and if I lose, I'm going to hate this game for awhile like it's always been. I now understand my personality. I'm only in it to win and if I start leaking out my winnings then this game starts getting boring. It's fun until the winning stops for me and then it's no longer addictive.
The best way I can relate to it is that it's like continuously keeping a money flow going while strategically playing with a winning style that I'm using like a robot now. There's occasionally some 50-50 decisions though that I have to make from using a gut feeling and it's cool if I win otherwise, I take a hit and move on. I'm basically cashing out after taking in a nice chunk of change from a random table. By doing this, it was entertaining to make like $5 in the nickel table which normally can take me two hours in like twenty to thirty minutes. It started getting boring after seeing my money go to other players so I got out once I broke or passed even again.
Overall, the Internet Poker game should be just about playing whenever you feel like it and leaving whenever you want to. It's basically about playing whenever you are in the mood until you are no longer winning and the fun just stopped to take a break and then start the cycle all over again another day you feel ready for the action again.
I now understand this whole mentality of taking a break from something. It's just not healthy to sometimes set a certain goal especially when it deals with gambling, and it's just better to settle with what you have right there and move on.
To keep this flow of winning going, I understand now a different perspective with playing against other opponents to take their money in poker. It's to take advantage of everything that's there for the taking. For the site I'm using, it's legal only because there's a loophole and the money that you earn comes in the form a check from a company that has nothing to do with poker. Also another one is to transfer your earnings into bitcoin and invest some more with it which is another fun way of circumventing until the government cracks down on this legit Internet casino business. Until the day it happens and then I would have to show my face at an Indian casino, I'm going to take advantage of this poker site that allows US customers.
There's definitely a winning model for me and the way I see it now is that it is gambling and all about being addicted to winning! I only care about winning and if I lose, I'm going to hate this game for awhile like it's always been. I now understand my personality. I'm only in it to win and if I start leaking out my winnings then this game starts getting boring. It's fun until the winning stops for me and then it's no longer addictive.
The best way I can relate to it is that it's like continuously keeping a money flow going while strategically playing with a winning style that I'm using like a robot now. There's occasionally some 50-50 decisions though that I have to make from using a gut feeling and it's cool if I win otherwise, I take a hit and move on. I'm basically cashing out after taking in a nice chunk of change from a random table. By doing this, it was entertaining to make like $5 in the nickel table which normally can take me two hours in like twenty to thirty minutes. It started getting boring after seeing my money go to other players so I got out once I broke or passed even again.
Overall, the Internet Poker game should be just about playing whenever you feel like it and leaving whenever you want to. It's basically about playing whenever you are in the mood until you are no longer winning and the fun just stopped to take a break and then start the cycle all over again another day you feel ready for the action again.
Sucks To Remember
It sucks to remember how I suffered so greatly while crazy people were mocking my mental stability. It's really funny to laugh about all the details now, and it figures that I'm lucky if I can still afford to mess around like this with myself during my Bible listening sessions! I haven't been reading the Bible but just tuning to some MP3 files and then having a hard time paying attention to it. The New Testament is probably not that difficult to understand thanks to it having been translated from the modern Greek language. However, the Old Testament is so intractable to pick up on with all of its nuances. I just can't understand it even though I try so hard at some points. It's like making the effort and then my mind just phases out.
With my mind constantly phasing in and out of listening to the Bible, I'm still going at it. I figure I'm going to be replaying my MP3 files until the end of my days and it's already my fifth time to be done about 80% of it. It's interesting how much driving I do each day and during those few hours I'm commuting on the road, I'm trying to listen to a nice chunk of Scriptures that I'm still having trouble picking up on. It's like the Lord demands full and undivided attention to pick up on what the Spirit wants to tell you. The natural man can care less about the details found in the Bible, and there are even delusional people out there who think they know what the Bible is all about and come up with weird assertions while defending their heart out. It's a crazy world!
Well, I had a chance to date a lady who turned crazy with me but why would I want to do that now? I guess everything happened for a reason. If I didn't have a chance with that lady who turned crazy with me, then she wouldn't have been open to me talking about dating even though I backed away. For an Asian lady, she has some large baby feeders and I don't want to believe that I made her become crazy unintentionally with me. If she wasn't crazy, then she wouldn't have told me that I was frustrating her because she couldn't understand me and at the same time was open to talking about dating. She even had a boyfriend that matches my ethnicity, so maybe she likes guys of my race. It's an okay memory actually and something I can learn a lot from next time while improving my communication skills and also increasing my confidence with managing talking to frustrated and crazy people out there.
With my mind constantly phasing in and out of listening to the Bible, I'm still going at it. I figure I'm going to be replaying my MP3 files until the end of my days and it's already my fifth time to be done about 80% of it. It's interesting how much driving I do each day and during those few hours I'm commuting on the road, I'm trying to listen to a nice chunk of Scriptures that I'm still having trouble picking up on. It's like the Lord demands full and undivided attention to pick up on what the Spirit wants to tell you. The natural man can care less about the details found in the Bible, and there are even delusional people out there who think they know what the Bible is all about and come up with weird assertions while defending their heart out. It's a crazy world!
Well, I had a chance to date a lady who turned crazy with me but why would I want to do that now? I guess everything happened for a reason. If I didn't have a chance with that lady who turned crazy with me, then she wouldn't have been open to me talking about dating even though I backed away. For an Asian lady, she has some large baby feeders and I don't want to believe that I made her become crazy unintentionally with me. If she wasn't crazy, then she wouldn't have told me that I was frustrating her because she couldn't understand me and at the same time was open to talking about dating. She even had a boyfriend that matches my ethnicity, so maybe she likes guys of my race. It's an okay memory actually and something I can learn a lot from next time while improving my communication skills and also increasing my confidence with managing talking to frustrated and crazy people out there.
Interesting Effect From Vow
I have made a very difficult vow with the Lord and it's basically to abstain from practicing on being a sexual pleaser with porno. Yeah, it was fun sometimes and other times, it was like man this is boring and I'm lasting forever. Anyway, from having made this really hard vow with God, I'm taking it very seriously. Hope to find a hot girl to date and fall in love together with soon!
I think I'm more motivated to get married to please God's Word which says in my paraphrase to enjoy sex in marriage and have lots of it! Fortunately, because of my vow I haven't been so preoccupied with sex like it's a product you buy off the shelf and taking preference over all the looks that are turn-ons. This just means that an average girl to me is looking more hot, and I guess that's good if she wants to be pregnant by me someday. I just need to find someone with the right personality now and to have a lot of fun with. Those are my main requirements I'm looking for. I'll worry about everything else later now. Major turn offs for me are if a girl looks too fat and has to deal with mental health issues, so that's about it. I'm a close friend to a girl who has my major turn offs but she can have a portion of that nice personality sometimes so I'm hoping she can win the battle of her schizophrenia and start working out with a nice diet to tone back down to her hot figure she used to be.
I think I'm more motivated to get married to please God's Word which says in my paraphrase to enjoy sex in marriage and have lots of it! Fortunately, because of my vow I haven't been so preoccupied with sex like it's a product you buy off the shelf and taking preference over all the looks that are turn-ons. This just means that an average girl to me is looking more hot, and I guess that's good if she wants to be pregnant by me someday. I just need to find someone with the right personality now and to have a lot of fun with. Those are my main requirements I'm looking for. I'll worry about everything else later now. Major turn offs for me are if a girl looks too fat and has to deal with mental health issues, so that's about it. I'm a close friend to a girl who has my major turn offs but she can have a portion of that nice personality sometimes so I'm hoping she can win the battle of her schizophrenia and start working out with a nice diet to tone back down to her hot figure she used to be.
Finding Motivation
Programming is a lot like understanding the problem and then actively participating for a solution that will perform at least slightly better than the desired outcome. It's like constantly testing for errors and tweaking the code to make it work a lot better. I'm able to do this more fluidly now from having put enough time into it. It's like from having worked out, I can easily lift a nice load mentally and also really not mind working for a paycheck!
I think my main drives to motivation is seriously passion and from having been paid long enough doing it! I want to advance in this programming career by going into the more rigorous software engineering field. I'm really enjoying solving the challenges even though it is so hard. It's just rewarding in itself to solve those brain teasers in the form of writing and executing code. I can't fully crunch millions of numbers like a regular computer can but I can be its boss any day by commanding it what to do for me, after proving the algorithm is infallible.
Computer Science is so neat in that all of these humanly impossible tasks can be handled efficiently from coming up with the right algorithm. I'm really glad to be working to go after doing something cool for myself, which is trying to cash-in big by combining software developing and swing trading Forex to be my money makers and then investing in stocks. It's a competition out there and I don't mind playing to win some big money. Along the way, I do want to pick up a great chick obviously so I will have to increase my confidence from giving focus over to some meal plan and gym time.
I think my main drives to motivation is seriously passion and from having been paid long enough doing it! I want to advance in this programming career by going into the more rigorous software engineering field. I'm really enjoying solving the challenges even though it is so hard. It's just rewarding in itself to solve those brain teasers in the form of writing and executing code. I can't fully crunch millions of numbers like a regular computer can but I can be its boss any day by commanding it what to do for me, after proving the algorithm is infallible.
Computer Science is so neat in that all of these humanly impossible tasks can be handled efficiently from coming up with the right algorithm. I'm really glad to be working to go after doing something cool for myself, which is trying to cash-in big by combining software developing and swing trading Forex to be my money makers and then investing in stocks. It's a competition out there and I don't mind playing to win some big money. Along the way, I do want to pick up a great chick obviously so I will have to increase my confidence from giving focus over to some meal plan and gym time.
Wednesday, July 24, 2019
Focusing On Things You Want
I'm starting to notice that my commitment level is really about how much I'm willing to stick around with anything even if times are feeling stressful. I honestly feel this joy that's a part of me when I'm trying to focus on making money from learning about software engineering and also developing my investing skills. Currently, I'm trying to save up my money and still paying off a car and private student loan while learning to be a better swing trader.
What I really have in mind with doing next is working out consistently as well and fixing myself a better meal plan to help out with muscle growth and some nice sexy abs! I don't really feel like committing right now to a martial arts, even though I think it's cool and fun to know while challenging your own body. I want to grow in cross fitness strength before I start making time to learn about those techniques.
It looks like it's about taking baby steps to get somewhere and not really overwhelming oneself. It's like it's going to take some effort to get it working. It's just mainly this healthy feeling with being cool with sticking to something even if there's some grinding that needs to be done for getting the task done.
I now have in mind the living that I want to do well in, along with not minding with working out and eating better for being in good shape! Lastly, I do have a decent outlet for socializing with friendly acquaintances, so I think it's pretty bad to think paranoid and not will yourself to go out exploring with others while looking to have fun. It does require some social intelligence and it's always something that can be continuously developed.
Overall, yeah, I now realize that I was really hanging out with a bunch of crazy people in the beginning. If they weren't crazy, then they wouldn't have been shouting at me to not talk about something that wasn't illegal. They also wouldn't have been making such a big deal about something that didn't deal with them and wasn't directly affecting the welfare of the other people they wanted to control. If they didn't want to control others, then they wouldn't have cared about other's decisions which was the others didn't want to associate with them and how they blamed me because of it! If they didn't blame me for anything, then they wouldn't have discussed with me about what they thought was wrong about me and thinking they can take disciplinary action because of it. Yeah, they were really crazy now that I think of it. I still have what I wanted the most from them and happened from doing nothing! With the big actions they took and while everyone knows about it, I reasonably feel they were also dumb in addition to being crazy! It's my opinion.
What I really have in mind with doing next is working out consistently as well and fixing myself a better meal plan to help out with muscle growth and some nice sexy abs! I don't really feel like committing right now to a martial arts, even though I think it's cool and fun to know while challenging your own body. I want to grow in cross fitness strength before I start making time to learn about those techniques.
It looks like it's about taking baby steps to get somewhere and not really overwhelming oneself. It's like it's going to take some effort to get it working. It's just mainly this healthy feeling with being cool with sticking to something even if there's some grinding that needs to be done for getting the task done.
I now have in mind the living that I want to do well in, along with not minding with working out and eating better for being in good shape! Lastly, I do have a decent outlet for socializing with friendly acquaintances, so I think it's pretty bad to think paranoid and not will yourself to go out exploring with others while looking to have fun. It does require some social intelligence and it's always something that can be continuously developed.
Overall, yeah, I now realize that I was really hanging out with a bunch of crazy people in the beginning. If they weren't crazy, then they wouldn't have been shouting at me to not talk about something that wasn't illegal. They also wouldn't have been making such a big deal about something that didn't deal with them and wasn't directly affecting the welfare of the other people they wanted to control. If they didn't want to control others, then they wouldn't have cared about other's decisions which was the others didn't want to associate with them and how they blamed me because of it! If they didn't blame me for anything, then they wouldn't have discussed with me about what they thought was wrong about me and thinking they can take disciplinary action because of it. Yeah, they were really crazy now that I think of it. I still have what I wanted the most from them and happened from doing nothing! With the big actions they took and while everyone knows about it, I reasonably feel they were also dumb in addition to being crazy! It's my opinion.
Finding That Groove
This is something that I'm personally realizing for myself and a lot of times with these blog posts, it's pretty much about revisiting the same theme continuously for awhile and trying to avoid rehashing it even though it can happen. I don't want to come across like an ignorant and disowned son but I'm getting to a state of almost being perfectly aware of myself. This whole blogging activity and being open with the world is sort of a one-of-a-kind experience and yet, I'm just a really plain and short man who could still use some improvements on communication and paying attention to others who are willing to tell their story.
I have noticed that some ladies are much more open with you, and it's unfortunate some of the lovely ones are taken. I mean I'm really looking to just have fun with a personality type I'm really into now. I'll worry about the appearances and disabilities later or look at it from what I can also expect to enjoy about her. I have to admit from being a short guy and also pretty in tune with his emotions, I sometimes don't care about how good looking people are to me. I can also focus on their physical flaws and be totally not into them in person but for having a conversation, I don't really care and can still listen to them talking and communicate a little.
With the right lady, we both end up having a lot of fun and she actually gives off some really positive signs of being ready for a relationship. I have been pretty stupid about it for the most part because I think any lady that you can hit it off with is beautiful in their unique way. The only real thing that's keeping me is now making a lot of money on my own without my parents to help out by keeping me gainfully employed in their business. I want to own this confidence before attending to the needs of a beautiful lady and falling in love.
I have noticed that some ladies are much more open with you, and it's unfortunate some of the lovely ones are taken. I mean I'm really looking to just have fun with a personality type I'm really into now. I'll worry about the appearances and disabilities later or look at it from what I can also expect to enjoy about her. I have to admit from being a short guy and also pretty in tune with his emotions, I sometimes don't care about how good looking people are to me. I can also focus on their physical flaws and be totally not into them in person but for having a conversation, I don't really care and can still listen to them talking and communicate a little.
With the right lady, we both end up having a lot of fun and she actually gives off some really positive signs of being ready for a relationship. I have been pretty stupid about it for the most part because I think any lady that you can hit it off with is beautiful in their unique way. The only real thing that's keeping me is now making a lot of money on my own without my parents to help out by keeping me gainfully employed in their business. I want to own this confidence before attending to the needs of a beautiful lady and falling in love.
Tuesday, July 23, 2019
Settling On The Important Things
It feels like my heart is finally at this really relaxed state of mind and surely, I'm handling all the things I have been sad about with myself for my whole entire life a lot better than before! I used to be pretty nervous about over doing anything and then becoming depressed from having invested so much and failing. I sometimes had mild panic attacks because of this fear. One guy was a jerk and partially took notice of it with me. He would accuse me of basically fidgeting around too much and didn't really do anything for me. He also would come across as condescending and I was mad enough that I ended up making him go crazy by unintentionally saying stuff that wasn't offensive or anything but it definitely was something he didn't perceive correctly. I'm sure he doesn't want to talk about it because it would paint him in a negative light. If he did want to talk about it, then it would be beneficial for him but with it being seeing upon as negative it would be something he wouldn't have preference with talking about, even if I approached it all nice to him. This is what I did and man, he was so mad!
My approach has evolved into letting the cat out of the big and arguing with infallible proofs that can't be argued against. It's the Computer Science mentality to come up with solving problems by doing these types of math so that all worries can be put to rest. I have been taking advantage of it a lot lately with a few close people who want to argue using their emotions with me. I think the effect is like they are being put right on the spot with something bad about them and there's nothing they can do about the thing I pointed out and proved with a simple contradiction method, which they probably even had no real clue about so they just don't react so violently to it because it would hurt their own agenda even more.
I'm starting to feel a lot more confident in this area of dealing with negativity or people with grudges on me now. I can even identify it and prove it from using just simple contradiction too. If they didn't have a grudge over me, then they would be open to talking about something personal that relates to me and not tell me to go away when they have the time to give right then and there. They wouldn't need to act so bothered about it. The fact that they are acting in that manner and saying no to discussing about a passed event and wasn't illegal or anything and doesn't have any conflict-of-interests either like no non-disclosure agreement was signed really shows they aren't happy. They usually say they have no problems moving on and if they did, then they wouldn't have to act all visibly bothered to begin with from just asking them about it, even if they blamed me for something. Assuming they had no grudge to begin with, then they would never act this way with me.
I reasonably feel they should all go see a therapist because I unintentionally made them go crazy. These are signs they can't manage like I can. If I couldn't manage, then I wouldn't be able to express desire to put them at least on the lowest level in my circle of friends. It just means I will spend the least amount of time with them compared to my best friends but I'm willing to call them friends if they can with me now after establishing a decent acquaintanceship.
My style with proving things and trying to be infallible is simply from applying proof by contradiction and it was very well reinforced from taking my CS major very seriously! To be a decent programmer, you have to be able to prove your algorithms are infallible also so if I did a lot of problem solving and seeing all of this complex human activity with their emotions popping up in my discerning head and can extract useful and observable data, then yeah I might as well use it whenever it's appropriate for finalizing the objective.
My approach has evolved into letting the cat out of the big and arguing with infallible proofs that can't be argued against. It's the Computer Science mentality to come up with solving problems by doing these types of math so that all worries can be put to rest. I have been taking advantage of it a lot lately with a few close people who want to argue using their emotions with me. I think the effect is like they are being put right on the spot with something bad about them and there's nothing they can do about the thing I pointed out and proved with a simple contradiction method, which they probably even had no real clue about so they just don't react so violently to it because it would hurt their own agenda even more.
I'm starting to feel a lot more confident in this area of dealing with negativity or people with grudges on me now. I can even identify it and prove it from using just simple contradiction too. If they didn't have a grudge over me, then they would be open to talking about something personal that relates to me and not tell me to go away when they have the time to give right then and there. They wouldn't need to act so bothered about it. The fact that they are acting in that manner and saying no to discussing about a passed event and wasn't illegal or anything and doesn't have any conflict-of-interests either like no non-disclosure agreement was signed really shows they aren't happy. They usually say they have no problems moving on and if they did, then they wouldn't have to act all visibly bothered to begin with from just asking them about it, even if they blamed me for something. Assuming they had no grudge to begin with, then they would never act this way with me.
I reasonably feel they should all go see a therapist because I unintentionally made them go crazy. These are signs they can't manage like I can. If I couldn't manage, then I wouldn't be able to express desire to put them at least on the lowest level in my circle of friends. It just means I will spend the least amount of time with them compared to my best friends but I'm willing to call them friends if they can with me now after establishing a decent acquaintanceship.
My style with proving things and trying to be infallible is simply from applying proof by contradiction and it was very well reinforced from taking my CS major very seriously! To be a decent programmer, you have to be able to prove your algorithms are infallible also so if I did a lot of problem solving and seeing all of this complex human activity with their emotions popping up in my discerning head and can extract useful and observable data, then yeah I might as well use it whenever it's appropriate for finalizing the objective.
Saturday, July 20, 2019
Relating Passions To Marriage
I have noticed something useful for myself, and I can say this about me with some authority because if I couldn't do this then I would have been in deep trouble by now while writing about people having gone crazy with me all these past years. I can say I was just tempted all the time to punch a hole in my own wall and kept blaming most of the personal pain on only myself. The only reason I'm not in trouble is probably because I just had to do nothing to get what I wanted while trying to design a stellar plan and that's what happened! If I was a vegetable-in-a-shell, then I wouldn't have kept up this blog all these years and there's content that focuses only on me written by me for my own personal profit and glory. It feels good to work out your own personal problems on your own and mainly put in almost all the effort without anyone else and pick yourself back up. I felt like a runt and I was at the bottom of the pit, but I had to do nothing to get back to where I wanted so I can keep on bragging about it all I want to now!
I'm pretty hard to perfectly relate to because I refuse to be transparent with the world deliberately. I'm sure if I was a genius and went all out for something good in this world, then people would start flocking over but the thing is, I'm just not one of those. I'm probably more like closer to the bottom of the very best people like rank 30 out of 100,000. I can reasonably say that with my categories I've listed on this personal blog, I am that active to be around here. I still think of myself as #1 out of being active with posting write-ups compared to all the current and former Computer Science students on this blogger site and it's only from averaging one post a day every year for quite some time.
I have definitely found some contagious, inner humor for myself and it's nice to have it. I find it to be funny with being successful, and it's been cool to try to lead others to join my wild ride sometimes and have them laugh along with me.
The biggest thing I'm noticing is that I should be letting go of the ones if possible that are dragging me down or the ones I don't want to stick around for when times are bad. This is only with myself though for earning a living. If it dealt with an inter-relationship problem then I think my passion would be about trying to fix it and letting it ride it out until it crumbles in some cases and cry about it later! In this case then yeah, it still applies and I should let go of the things in my life that I don't really feel so passionate about. For my job, I'm just doing it to earn money so I can invest it and make more money. The real passion comes from wanting to invest for me rather than my current, full-time job.
There's basically main goals that I have and also supplementary ones to deal with. After all, I'm mainly about trying to always have fun and enjoy myself. I do want to look sexy and healthy too, along with always settling for decency. I think passion is like a marriage because even in hard times, you are still there working on it. It's like one of the most important things for people to have because it's like no matter what happens, it's what they won't mind doing even if a situation is being tough on them.
I'm pretty hard to perfectly relate to because I refuse to be transparent with the world deliberately. I'm sure if I was a genius and went all out for something good in this world, then people would start flocking over but the thing is, I'm just not one of those. I'm probably more like closer to the bottom of the very best people like rank 30 out of 100,000. I can reasonably say that with my categories I've listed on this personal blog, I am that active to be around here. I still think of myself as #1 out of being active with posting write-ups compared to all the current and former Computer Science students on this blogger site and it's only from averaging one post a day every year for quite some time.
I have definitely found some contagious, inner humor for myself and it's nice to have it. I find it to be funny with being successful, and it's been cool to try to lead others to join my wild ride sometimes and have them laugh along with me.
The biggest thing I'm noticing is that I should be letting go of the ones if possible that are dragging me down or the ones I don't want to stick around for when times are bad. This is only with myself though for earning a living. If it dealt with an inter-relationship problem then I think my passion would be about trying to fix it and letting it ride it out until it crumbles in some cases and cry about it later! In this case then yeah, it still applies and I should let go of the things in my life that I don't really feel so passionate about. For my job, I'm just doing it to earn money so I can invest it and make more money. The real passion comes from wanting to invest for me rather than my current, full-time job.
There's basically main goals that I have and also supplementary ones to deal with. After all, I'm mainly about trying to always have fun and enjoy myself. I do want to look sexy and healthy too, along with always settling for decency. I think passion is like a marriage because even in hard times, you are still there working on it. It's like one of the most important things for people to have because it's like no matter what happens, it's what they won't mind doing even if a situation is being tough on them.
Friday, July 19, 2019
Identifying Passions
I have been so inspired lately and now I'm going to share what I think is the best way for obtaining all the heart's desires. This is something that I am going to try practicing for myself to see if it works, so I'm not looking for any guinea pigs out of the readers here because I'll be my own preacher practicing what he's preaching!
First off, you really have to identify what you seriously want and can't be half-hearted about it. One of my half-hearted activities is playing online poker for money and not looking to win anything. If I win from usually outsmarting my opponent then it's great; otherwise, it won't be fun losing to them after they get their lucky draw. Still, it's pretty funny to have like a 99% chance of winning on the turn and then they get their miracle card on the river. I guess it's entertainment for me then because I don't expect to win with even that high of a percentage. I don't believe in any heart-of-the-cards nonsense but in poker, as long as you can lose, you can be sure that it will happen at some point and that's going to be any time the opponent can draw something. However, it won't happen as much so the right decision would be to play on and always call their all-in shoves! It's entertaining to win a little money and then all about being a sourpuss to start hating the game of poker after losing to a lucky opponent.
With what you want in life, it's something that needs to have that passion which just pops up everywhere. Even if I'm programming in an outdated language and it's a lame task dealing with my job, I still feel the passion man! I love coding and seeing how the program runs and letting it do its thing on autopilot while following some algorithms I came up with. I am definitely meant to earn money while being a software developer and that's what I'm doing in most cases at my job.
I'm also feeling really passionate about game development. It's just cool to be a failure even and stress out about it not working for me. It's probably not so much for a lot of other people, but it's different for me. Overall, software developing is enjoyable for me and something I'm grateful for making a living off of. Another thing I'm diving into now is investing and this means earning passive income.
There are also side activities for getting to the main goal and some goals that are just plain overwhelming but it's something that you would have to be inspired to do. Those are hard to stay motivated for so I guess it just comes down to setting a personal deadline and doing the best one can. It took me this long to talk about what I'm going to do about for dealing with all my passions. It needs to be about commitment and making a promise to do them with yourself by a set time like in one day maybe. I'm going to try it out and see where it takes me. The final push is about making the effort and doing the best you can.
Thursday, July 18, 2019
Working At A Successful Mindset
Well, I can say that I feel pretty good about the last post. I sent it to someone who knows the people associated while adding in some of those obvious names to it, but it was more attributed to being Lee's dumb minions. It was a church where Lee claimed to be a spiritual leader over me and she was out to do me some harm by making me angry enough to get tempted with punching a hole in a wall. To get there, I would need some brass knuckles but I never purchased any so I'm sane! I'm saying Lee's minions are another way of calling them followers because Lee was the leader and those followers did her weird bidding with me. If they weren't being weird then I wouldn't have from them what I wanted the most by doing nothing, so I reasonably feel they are dumb since that's all it took.
Anyway, one of those dummies who followed Lee is the husband of this nice lady I sent a copy of my last post too. She replied with the picture of a huge thumb up and her opinion in the form of declarative sentences but sounds like an open-ended question with what it takes to make a reconciled relationship grow again. I'll just let it sit there and sink in for awhile. She's actually still this pretty chill gal and is dealing with four rotten kids sometimes I'm assuming ( a kid I know around their age is always super nice and being mostly raised by a cool, single mom) and they are close apart and soon enough, there will be adolescence. I wonder if she'll still be chill then while worrying about her naughty kids, if it ever gets to there.
If I was a loving father, I think I'll buy a "You've been a bad boy" or "You've been a bad girl" paddle and spank them once or twice if they are teens and it gets me to that level. Maybe they could be disrespectful to me or something like that and I can't take any more of it. Well, there might be my solution on top of trying to spoil them with expensive and exciting family vacations.
From just finishing reading a book on investing and getting the gist out of it, it says to be successful you need to know how to make money and then be able to invest it. All this time, I've been trying to make money with swing trading. With investing, it's pretty much a passive style where you don't do anything and it pays you off with dividends. Or maybe, you could put it in a retirement account and let it grow on its own. There's a lot of cool stuff to learn about with this getting rich part.
I think swing trading is something that I won't have to spend a lot of time on either because it's way slower than the average day trader's mentality. Still, my swing trading approach is probably around 70% of being actually passive. I enjoy it too and I think that's the most important thing for picking a profession. It's like once I can get this swing trading off the ground, I can put my earnings into tax-deferred accounts like 401K, Roth IRA, bonds, and qualified stocks. I can even do tax write-offs by putting some money into a charity account!
The buck doesn't just stop at swing trading. I'm also an aspiring software engineer with an interest in being a project or product manager with ideally video games. Maybe, I'll try to start my own business but take it down a notch by not competing with AAA video games and take on a different market. I think I'll program free apps for the Android and Apple phones that I can see people using a lot and place ads in there, along with always the option to buy it to remove them.
On top of working my way to riches, I don't want to be a fat wealthy man. I want to be fit and comparably looking good physically to other elite, cross-fit athletes! Finally and not the least, I will go after finding a smoking-hot and loving lady to settle down with!
Anyway, one of those dummies who followed Lee is the husband of this nice lady I sent a copy of my last post too. She replied with the picture of a huge thumb up and her opinion in the form of declarative sentences but sounds like an open-ended question with what it takes to make a reconciled relationship grow again. I'll just let it sit there and sink in for awhile. She's actually still this pretty chill gal and is dealing with four rotten kids sometimes I'm assuming ( a kid I know around their age is always super nice and being mostly raised by a cool, single mom) and they are close apart and soon enough, there will be adolescence. I wonder if she'll still be chill then while worrying about her naughty kids, if it ever gets to there.
If I was a loving father, I think I'll buy a "You've been a bad boy" or "You've been a bad girl" paddle and spank them once or twice if they are teens and it gets me to that level. Maybe they could be disrespectful to me or something like that and I can't take any more of it. Well, there might be my solution on top of trying to spoil them with expensive and exciting family vacations.
From just finishing reading a book on investing and getting the gist out of it, it says to be successful you need to know how to make money and then be able to invest it. All this time, I've been trying to make money with swing trading. With investing, it's pretty much a passive style where you don't do anything and it pays you off with dividends. Or maybe, you could put it in a retirement account and let it grow on its own. There's a lot of cool stuff to learn about with this getting rich part.
I think swing trading is something that I won't have to spend a lot of time on either because it's way slower than the average day trader's mentality. Still, my swing trading approach is probably around 70% of being actually passive. I enjoy it too and I think that's the most important thing for picking a profession. It's like once I can get this swing trading off the ground, I can put my earnings into tax-deferred accounts like 401K, Roth IRA, bonds, and qualified stocks. I can even do tax write-offs by putting some money into a charity account!
The buck doesn't just stop at swing trading. I'm also an aspiring software engineer with an interest in being a project or product manager with ideally video games. Maybe, I'll try to start my own business but take it down a notch by not competing with AAA video games and take on a different market. I think I'll program free apps for the Android and Apple phones that I can see people using a lot and place ads in there, along with always the option to buy it to remove them.
On top of working my way to riches, I don't want to be a fat wealthy man. I want to be fit and comparably looking good physically to other elite, cross-fit athletes! Finally and not the least, I will go after finding a smoking-hot and loving lady to settle down with!
Wednesday, July 17, 2019
Putting Things You Control In Its Place
The common saying goes there's a time and place for anything. From taking a political science/ethics course, I've heard that a person can do anything he or she wants but may or not be forced to deal with repercussions. For example, I can say that being yelled at by the people I kept approaching who went crazy and couldn't handle something I did to try to reason with them was definitely a repercussion. It's something I can accept now and even expect but I'm countering by arguing that they should probably find a therapist because I didn't do anything to them in the first place and they were acting like bullies to me while blaming me for something they had no control over. I can also argue now their logic was wrong too from contradicting their ignorant claims. It first starts off with them still having been around me and how they would have left and they even identified two of their own members to blame something to me about, but those individuals didn't really leave while I was there too. Yeah, they were just being jerks and up to really no good while thinking crazy about me at that moment in time and space. I'm just glad that I reasonably feel they are dumb; otherwise, I would have been in deep trouble about it and not get what I wanted the most out of them which I already have.
It's important to make the most out of those crazy situations and here I am still finding epiphanies about it because it's just that very big for myself even though what they felt crazy with me about was misinterpreted. I keep on saying that with them having been jerks, they couldn't do much to me anyway so I think that even might lower their confidence in how they can deal with people even more. I think they can redeem themselves by being cool with themselves next time they want to go off in a crazy-weird or paranoid direction with anyone.
I might actually have a gift with being able to deal with this matter, like it's my powerhouse. It's amazing from naturally focusing all my might on it that I ended up getting what I wanted from not doing anything about it at all. It is the right answer, after all and I'm glad to be sharing it.
Basically putting things in their place that you can control, all of this has nothing to do with what others did to me, it was all about me. Even one of the guys who went crazy with me was telling me that I'm focusing too much only on myself and kept on complaining about it. This is how it's always been and I intend to continue trying to befriend them again with the intention of placing them on the lowest level in my circle of friends. The higher the level, the more time I want to spend with them but with these people, it would be hardly noticeable if I ever do at all after I establish the sweet acquaintanceship with them again. It's interesting that I'm also aware of how a few individuals might have anger issues about this too. If I just said, I want to be friends with them- they would think I'm crazy and maybe some would try to persuade me not to or maybe they would just stay quiet while feeling mad about the situation and from my track record, maybe turn crazy with me too in the end if I keep on bringing it up like that.
I think my repercussion is seeing people turn crazy with me in our relationship and never having mentioned to them that they might need to see a therapist about it to deal with it because I don't have much of an issue with staying happy and being nice to others still even if they can't help staying crazy with me. They do talk a lot and none of it means much so I should approach them while they are talking to anyone and just spin it off and let the cat out of the bag. If they are mad about it, it's really dealing with them and I'm going to be kind to say everything that's bad about them that I'm aware of while arguing with my snarky proofs so maybe it will eventually influence them to confront every issue they have and move on while actually embracing their personal faults.
It's important to make the most out of those crazy situations and here I am still finding epiphanies about it because it's just that very big for myself even though what they felt crazy with me about was misinterpreted. I keep on saying that with them having been jerks, they couldn't do much to me anyway so I think that even might lower their confidence in how they can deal with people even more. I think they can redeem themselves by being cool with themselves next time they want to go off in a crazy-weird or paranoid direction with anyone.
I might actually have a gift with being able to deal with this matter, like it's my powerhouse. It's amazing from naturally focusing all my might on it that I ended up getting what I wanted from not doing anything about it at all. It is the right answer, after all and I'm glad to be sharing it.
Basically putting things in their place that you can control, all of this has nothing to do with what others did to me, it was all about me. Even one of the guys who went crazy with me was telling me that I'm focusing too much only on myself and kept on complaining about it. This is how it's always been and I intend to continue trying to befriend them again with the intention of placing them on the lowest level in my circle of friends. The higher the level, the more time I want to spend with them but with these people, it would be hardly noticeable if I ever do at all after I establish the sweet acquaintanceship with them again. It's interesting that I'm also aware of how a few individuals might have anger issues about this too. If I just said, I want to be friends with them- they would think I'm crazy and maybe some would try to persuade me not to or maybe they would just stay quiet while feeling mad about the situation and from my track record, maybe turn crazy with me too in the end if I keep on bringing it up like that.
I think my repercussion is seeing people turn crazy with me in our relationship and never having mentioned to them that they might need to see a therapist about it to deal with it because I don't have much of an issue with staying happy and being nice to others still even if they can't help staying crazy with me. They do talk a lot and none of it means much so I should approach them while they are talking to anyone and just spin it off and let the cat out of the bag. If they are mad about it, it's really dealing with them and I'm going to be kind to say everything that's bad about them that I'm aware of while arguing with my snarky proofs so maybe it will eventually influence them to confront every issue they have and move on while actually embracing their personal faults.
Being Ready For The Right Lady
I'm really good friends with a beautiful and short lady who probably makes up a decent portion of the qualities I'm looking for. The things I love about her is that she's affectionate, pretty laid back, and all-around a wonderful, decent person. The things I felt skittish about with her is that she liked to keep herself busy, and it just didn't feel right to try to commit to a long-term relationship. I lacked a lot of confidence and didn't really display enough romantic interest for her also, I guess.
With single ladies, it can be a struggle because it takes a lot of time to establish something and more often than not, they end up just liking me a lot for only a friend. Seriously, I think it's because I don't feel stability yet and I'm working at getting there still along with building my confidence. It's a big deal for me. One thing I have noticed is if I maintain composure while living through my insecurities and keep on moving forward and there's a lady who notices all this while me showing traditional interest in her with a mild manner, she's going to like me back!
I wasn't ready for it yet which sucks but it's okay I guess. I've had several opportunities and just never tried to go along with it and let some really good ones go. I wasn't really available to give the love and still not yet because I'm working on building my confidence and reaching a good amount of personal satisfaction before even handling all the good and bad things about trying to date the right ladies.
With single ladies, it can be a struggle because it takes a lot of time to establish something and more often than not, they end up just liking me a lot for only a friend. Seriously, I think it's because I don't feel stability yet and I'm working at getting there still along with building my confidence. It's a big deal for me. One thing I have noticed is if I maintain composure while living through my insecurities and keep on moving forward and there's a lady who notices all this while me showing traditional interest in her with a mild manner, she's going to like me back!
I wasn't ready for it yet which sucks but it's okay I guess. I've had several opportunities and just never tried to go along with it and let some really good ones go. I wasn't really available to give the love and still not yet because I'm working on building my confidence and reaching a good amount of personal satisfaction before even handling all the good and bad things about trying to date the right ladies.
Tuesday, July 16, 2019
Finding That Right Woman
For a pretty good portion of most of my future blog posts, I'm going to obviously talk about whatever I want and feed into calling all the people who made me mad dumb and continuously make sound arguments for it. It sounds fun right (?), especially if the person named X or Y isn't the reader. In real life though, I'm going to be the nicest person I can be without shouting and absorbing all my personal insecurities and telling people down right straight what's wrong about them in person!
How does that have to do anything about my current topic? Well, it's about finding the woman who is my type and I guess if I'm going to be making fun of her legally then maybe she really isn't my type to begin with. A lady friend who isn't my type but I'm really close to has straight out accused me of being overly optimistic. I'm really not and can be pessimistic sometimes. I just look optimistic when I'm arguing for whatever I want to do in life!
Finding the right woman is awesome and she's out there regardless of what all the other idiotic guys out there think with having to drop standards and pick a female body for raising a family with! This is a very optimistic statement. I'm all for it and the length of time it takes is just a number and will be well worth all those miserable years of not having it once it's there because love conquers all.
How does that have to do anything about my current topic? Well, it's about finding the woman who is my type and I guess if I'm going to be making fun of her legally then maybe she really isn't my type to begin with. A lady friend who isn't my type but I'm really close to has straight out accused me of being overly optimistic. I'm really not and can be pessimistic sometimes. I just look optimistic when I'm arguing for whatever I want to do in life!
Finding the right woman is awesome and she's out there regardless of what all the other idiotic guys out there think with having to drop standards and pick a female body for raising a family with! This is a very optimistic statement. I'm all for it and the length of time it takes is just a number and will be well worth all those miserable years of not having it once it's there because love conquers all.
Learning From Others
I used to want to avoid studying for awhile and not be feeling my purpose with taking classes. This is all school was about for me. It was taking classes and doing homework while studying to take exams and trying to get the best grade possible. I was so fed up with it and stressing out all the time and just not having enough fun. I was really short-sighted even though I have the ability to do well enough to usually get an A. I could have kept up with being a great student and feel good from others holding me in higher regards, but I lost that image after awhile. I turned into a weird dude who is really hard to understand why he is driving a person so crazy and being annoying sometimes. The answer never lied with the other person complaining, but it was always right underneath my nose. The answer: they just turned crazy all of a sudden!
Basically reading books now especially in the area of investing is really about trying to gain something from the author who is willing to share any tips he or she doesn't mind revealing to help anyone make money and on top of that, hoping to become a best seller. I don't see myself revealing my own secret system that I have been fine tuning all this time. I want to be part of the elusive 1% that ends up taking most of the money from everyone else and turn it into a career while enjoying my life! What's also interesting is that it's about the final destination where the money ends up going because while in a trading market, the values are fluctuating so I'm potentially losing and earning money each second so anyone in it can get a piece of the money. It's all about the proper timing because a trader would want all the money he or she earns after exiting the market to turn into a profit.
Basically reading books now especially in the area of investing is really about trying to gain something from the author who is willing to share any tips he or she doesn't mind revealing to help anyone make money and on top of that, hoping to become a best seller. I don't see myself revealing my own secret system that I have been fine tuning all this time. I want to be part of the elusive 1% that ends up taking most of the money from everyone else and turn it into a career while enjoying my life! What's also interesting is that it's about the final destination where the money ends up going because while in a trading market, the values are fluctuating so I'm potentially losing and earning money each second so anyone in it can get a piece of the money. It's all about the proper timing because a trader would want all the money he or she earns after exiting the market to turn into a profit.
Achieving True Desires
First of all, it's going to have to be about recognizing these main goals and then going after them no matter how lame it may sound to others. I don't know if a friend is compromising with his life by saying that he just wants someone to settle down with. I don't want just a somebody, but a beautiful lady who is really compatible and a loving person to marry! I think it would be so awesome and that's what I'm working towards. It requires a lot of commitment because you would then have to work at improving the things that's preventing you from getting there.
What's really scaring me is just not being satisfied with the amount of wealth I have and also the personal confidence that I'm longing for. I do want a great athletic body too, so that adds on to my three personal goals I have in mind of accomplishing: finding a super hot and loving wife, being rich off of doing something I love, and obtaining the body that I love! It's all based on one thing- love. It's about doing the things you love and working at getting there. It does require some manliness though, so I'm really inspired by others out there who have done it already and want to join the pursuit to catch up to them.
What's really scaring me is just not being satisfied with the amount of wealth I have and also the personal confidence that I'm longing for. I do want a great athletic body too, so that adds on to my three personal goals I have in mind of accomplishing: finding a super hot and loving wife, being rich off of doing something I love, and obtaining the body that I love! It's all based on one thing- love. It's about doing the things you love and working at getting there. It does require some manliness though, so I'm really inspired by others out there who have done it already and want to join the pursuit to catch up to them.
Back To Winning Ways
It looks like I became really lucky to see my fortune with trading turn around. My analysis is turning out to be so good especially from adding on a few more critical moving averages and letting go of a fickle oscillator. I don't think most of the readers out there are going to know what I'm talking about, so there you have it!
I almost already made back what I have lost the last two weeks in a few days! One of the nice things about the losing though is that I ended up getting out earlier based on my strategy turning against me. It might be something I could look to try later on if the market acts more predictable in that fashion in the future. For now, I have learned something that might be more useful for me in trying to carry out my swing trading career.
I almost already made back what I have lost the last two weeks in a few days! One of the nice things about the losing though is that I ended up getting out earlier based on my strategy turning against me. It might be something I could look to try later on if the market acts more predictable in that fashion in the future. For now, I have learned something that might be more useful for me in trying to carry out my swing trading career.
Friday, July 12, 2019
Committing To Achieving Desires
Firstly and greatly, it's so important to know what you want! Without it, what's really going to make life so meaningful at times. Honestly, I think really spiritual people are cool even though they have their struggles and can admit it. I mean I can be pushy with them if I wanted to, and I don't mean to brag but it's sort of a gift with all of these arguments I can counter on the spot with people out there who are acting like the dumbest in the world. It's just my opinion of how dumb I think they really are right then and there!
I had a special cause while feeling lazy after getting hurt by a dumb restraining order. Hey, I didn't go to jail and no I didn't need therapy. I'm going to make the argument that the other guy did and hasn't had treatment for it, assuming he didn't. If he did, then what's the point of arguing for my side successfully? Let's assume I was a total numbskull and a bunch of cuss words. If I act like this to the person, then I deserve to be in jail right? It didn't happen and it's not because I was lucky. I'm not lucky because I had a restraining order on me for three friggin years! I didn't even show up to argue my point at court and wished it would all disappear.
If I needed therapy then I would have destroyed that dude's life who put a restraining order on me, but I didn't and stayed nice for the most part. If he was the nicest guy in the world, then he wouldn't go around saying that I'm some terrorist from making stuff up while suffering massive paranoia with anger issues that he couldn't let go of. It's not me to blame but himself. It's his body and thoughts and he can control them because he has the willpower. If he had the willpower then he wouldn't need to act out all scared while talking about nonsense and then go for a restraining order on me. He needs the therapy more than I do. I stayed nice and didn't destroy him and look, the restraining order disappeared. My problems all went away like I wished by doing nothing!
Achieving a desire from doing nothing is awesome and it happened to me twice! Once from this dumb guy who doesn't consider me a friend, but I could push him to be my friend now while I put him on the lowest echelon on my circle of friends and don't consider him that highly. I can adapt very well actually to turning dumb enemies into my friend who used to be my friend and then turned into a dumb foe and then I will rarely hang around with now, if I even have the time now. The second time is with Lee who went for a restraining order and said I was following her around to talk about an issue she put herself on me. She didn't want to talk about an issue that she was the mastermind over, and I was justifying myself about the whole thing while being nice to her! Dang what a dumb lady, but I did nothing and my desire happened. The restraining order went away all by itself!
I'm getting the sense now that the people at that old church are not really going to argue with my snarky style anymore. They are probably going to be pushed around and be like accepting of the things happening to them and maybe, start feeling the way I want them to. I want them to stop thinking bad about me! This part is something that I seriously want to do something and not do nothing. I mean I want to do something about it, so there you go. Achieving desires can happen from doing something about it and in those very rare cases doing nothing and it's thanks to having been around a couple individuals who turned dumb all of a sudden.
I had a special cause while feeling lazy after getting hurt by a dumb restraining order. Hey, I didn't go to jail and no I didn't need therapy. I'm going to make the argument that the other guy did and hasn't had treatment for it, assuming he didn't. If he did, then what's the point of arguing for my side successfully? Let's assume I was a total numbskull and a bunch of cuss words. If I act like this to the person, then I deserve to be in jail right? It didn't happen and it's not because I was lucky. I'm not lucky because I had a restraining order on me for three friggin years! I didn't even show up to argue my point at court and wished it would all disappear.
If I needed therapy then I would have destroyed that dude's life who put a restraining order on me, but I didn't and stayed nice for the most part. If he was the nicest guy in the world, then he wouldn't go around saying that I'm some terrorist from making stuff up while suffering massive paranoia with anger issues that he couldn't let go of. It's not me to blame but himself. It's his body and thoughts and he can control them because he has the willpower. If he had the willpower then he wouldn't need to act out all scared while talking about nonsense and then go for a restraining order on me. He needs the therapy more than I do. I stayed nice and didn't destroy him and look, the restraining order disappeared. My problems all went away like I wished by doing nothing!
Achieving a desire from doing nothing is awesome and it happened to me twice! Once from this dumb guy who doesn't consider me a friend, but I could push him to be my friend now while I put him on the lowest echelon on my circle of friends and don't consider him that highly. I can adapt very well actually to turning dumb enemies into my friend who used to be my friend and then turned into a dumb foe and then I will rarely hang around with now, if I even have the time now. The second time is with Lee who went for a restraining order and said I was following her around to talk about an issue she put herself on me. She didn't want to talk about an issue that she was the mastermind over, and I was justifying myself about the whole thing while being nice to her! Dang what a dumb lady, but I did nothing and my desire happened. The restraining order went away all by itself!
I'm getting the sense now that the people at that old church are not really going to argue with my snarky style anymore. They are probably going to be pushed around and be like accepting of the things happening to them and maybe, start feeling the way I want them to. I want them to stop thinking bad about me! This part is something that I seriously want to do something and not do nothing. I mean I want to do something about it, so there you go. Achieving desires can happen from doing something about it and in those very rare cases doing nothing and it's thanks to having been around a couple individuals who turned dumb all of a sudden.
Wednesday, July 10, 2019
Starting To Pick It Up
Ever since I made the vow with God to always be on top of my game before I go wander off into the land of Nod, I have naturally been noticing personal improvements with myself. Just today, I finally was able to pay attention most of the time with the Book of Jeremiah from Chapters 2 - 6. I don't know if those passages are just easy for me to follow, but I kept on listening even though I wanted to doze off while driving. I know it's pretty bad, but I've learned to be a half-awake and alert drone while driving through traffic to get to work each morning.
The main technique I'm going to share is rather a psychological one for me. Instead of dwelling on thoughts, I decided to commit myself to moving forward and that's all I told myself self-consciously and then put in the effort to listen and the Scriptures I was listening to on my car stereo just started clicking. It was pretty amazing! I think this is how I can make myself function as a productive person. It's really about tenacity and consistency of putting in the effort to keep on doing something. In a way, it's about making adjustments for me.
For myself, it looks like it's just simple as thinking to myself to keep on moving forward and then put in the effort to do whatever that needs to be done. Overall, it looks like my daily purpose in detail is about working on being a software developer and trading, working out, studying or listening to the Bible, keeping myself organized, and planning to do things while executing them.
The main technique I'm going to share is rather a psychological one for me. Instead of dwelling on thoughts, I decided to commit myself to moving forward and that's all I told myself self-consciously and then put in the effort to listen and the Scriptures I was listening to on my car stereo just started clicking. It was pretty amazing! I think this is how I can make myself function as a productive person. It's really about tenacity and consistency of putting in the effort to keep on doing something. In a way, it's about making adjustments for me.
For myself, it looks like it's just simple as thinking to myself to keep on moving forward and then put in the effort to do whatever that needs to be done. Overall, it looks like my daily purpose in detail is about working on being a software developer and trading, working out, studying or listening to the Bible, keeping myself organized, and planning to do things while executing them.
Tuesday, July 9, 2019
Battling With Girly Feelings
I guess from the way I have grown up, I can be a sensitive man even though I get mad at people who make me feel that way. I think the only girly feeling that's getting in the way is not wanting to do things to progress further in life. This girly feeling also blocks out a bunch of reason and a good sense of direction. It's all psychological and possibly even physiological from the mind and body not having built enough stamina for it. Maybe, there's a purpose of having to slow down a little bit when these girly feelings arise. I don't really want to get lost in a sense with doing my own thing and just block out everything else that is important to me.
I think from having these girly feelings, I really need to constantly dwell on my purposes and remind myself to fill up that stressful void. I feel so good with the ideas that I have built for myself and it's probably just simple as looking at the to-do list I created for myself and then willing myself to get out of this girly state and be the man who will guide the lady lover who has these girly feelings someday.
Emotions are a bunch of rollercoaster states filled with ups and downs. Sometimes, it can be a very slow rollercoaster ride and those are nice at times too because it feels like you have so much time in the world while feeling so bored! My emotional mind works very ambivalently in other sense. It's sometimes very truthful and other times, it's too hard to contain the funny conjugations found in my own sentences. I honestly think that because of my ambivalence, a bunch of dorky and male jerks don't like me on social media from being so distracting who doesn't relate to them and from not even being a hot lady at least. I guess they have been struggling really badly then over nothing. Even the ladies who unfriend me must have some trouble resolving something that reminds them of a stressful memory because of me. In other words, it's probably because I annoyed them so badly and all of them just want to run away from it.
I have managed to work out my anger issues and just leaving it there because it's not really my priorities to go fix them anymore. I think that's what annoys me so much because I do like to be on friendly terms with people who added me on Facebook and then to realize someone unfriended me and for the ladies to act so whiny with girly feelings and trying to justify a short 63.25 inch male is one of the most terrifying creatures they have to deal with. I have come to an epiphany in that using what I learned from studying Computer Science is also useful in dealing with the most unlikely people who I never thought would become stupid in the first place.
I think from having these girly feelings, I really need to constantly dwell on my purposes and remind myself to fill up that stressful void. I feel so good with the ideas that I have built for myself and it's probably just simple as looking at the to-do list I created for myself and then willing myself to get out of this girly state and be the man who will guide the lady lover who has these girly feelings someday.
Emotions are a bunch of rollercoaster states filled with ups and downs. Sometimes, it can be a very slow rollercoaster ride and those are nice at times too because it feels like you have so much time in the world while feeling so bored! My emotional mind works very ambivalently in other sense. It's sometimes very truthful and other times, it's too hard to contain the funny conjugations found in my own sentences. I honestly think that because of my ambivalence, a bunch of dorky and male jerks don't like me on social media from being so distracting who doesn't relate to them and from not even being a hot lady at least. I guess they have been struggling really badly then over nothing. Even the ladies who unfriend me must have some trouble resolving something that reminds them of a stressful memory because of me. In other words, it's probably because I annoyed them so badly and all of them just want to run away from it.
I have managed to work out my anger issues and just leaving it there because it's not really my priorities to go fix them anymore. I think that's what annoys me so much because I do like to be on friendly terms with people who added me on Facebook and then to realize someone unfriended me and for the ladies to act so whiny with girly feelings and trying to justify a short 63.25 inch male is one of the most terrifying creatures they have to deal with. I have come to an epiphany in that using what I learned from studying Computer Science is also useful in dealing with the most unlikely people who I never thought would become stupid in the first place.
Ideal Self
I honestly have this aspiration to make a lot of money from swing trading and maybe even investing someday and then to spend my time wisely with learning to follow Biblical principles wholeheartedly while having a loving relationship with Jesus and also with others. I'm not judgmental of people's lifestyle choices anymore and only wish everyone would also commit their lives to Christ but I'm not going to go around trying to breath down people's necks. I'll just lead by example in other words from having fun with charity and being kind to even the worst people who I want to beat up daily!
I see myself working out and building a sexy body that I can feel really satisfied over and want to smile about while being like "Yeah!" all over the place. I really can see myself working at taking care of lady friends and being a gentleman, too. Putting in the hard work to make everything fancy and inviting a good girl over who has time to go on a date would be fun. The only thing that's really hurting my confidence is seriously not making the money I want from doing my own thing and also not having the body I want. It's probably more about the time and money I can be available for investing myself in a lovely relationship that's keeping me from putting up with the hardships of finding the right girl for me.
I have made a very wise choice in making a specific vow to the Lord. It's not the most comfortable thing to do because I feel totally bound to it and just cannot break it. To make something that will personally improve me and revolves around my life, I'm so glad that I made it and now I can work hard at focusing.
I see myself working out and building a sexy body that I can feel really satisfied over and want to smile about while being like "Yeah!" all over the place. I really can see myself working at taking care of lady friends and being a gentleman, too. Putting in the hard work to make everything fancy and inviting a good girl over who has time to go on a date would be fun. The only thing that's really hurting my confidence is seriously not making the money I want from doing my own thing and also not having the body I want. It's probably more about the time and money I can be available for investing myself in a lovely relationship that's keeping me from putting up with the hardships of finding the right girl for me.
I have made a very wise choice in making a specific vow to the Lord. It's not the most comfortable thing to do because I feel totally bound to it and just cannot break it. To make something that will personally improve me and revolves around my life, I'm so glad that I made it and now I can work hard at focusing.
Slightly Rough Patch
One of the great things about finding meetups is that you can find something that really suits your needs. I have been trying to listen to the Bible all these past days whenever I'm driving by myself and I frankly find it easy to let my mind wander off into other directions. It's really hard for me to pay attention and understand what's going on even though it's put in plain words. The descriptions that are being made isn't always direct and it's like there's this wrestling with the Spirit that's going on. The only thing that's really keeping me going with trying to understand the Bible is because of my faith in Jesus. I'm also giving the whole Bible a chance these days and really want to know the ins and outs. Even if it ends up making me doubt stuff about my faith, I still want to give it a chance to really get to know what this faith is all about.
My trading this month has hit a tough spot with a string of losing trades. I'm back to making adjustments because from last month I made a total killing off of it. I might be starting all over again, but I'm not giving up hope in finding a consistent trading pattern that will comfortably work for me. I am heavily influenced by one candlestick setup and also a way of reading chart patterns. It's from reading up on many authors who gave up a common method of trading that they all believe in, but I don't fully follow them and do my own thing too. I think the only thing I need to work on now is looking to enter the market at the right time each day for maximizing my gains and minimizing my losses. I'm getting pretty comfortable with it and I guess from all the exposure I have had with trying every system I could get my hands on, I'm just sticking to the ones that make sense for me and simple enough to maintain. It's pretty much about trying to create my own profitable system and adapting to anything that happens.
My trading this month has hit a tough spot with a string of losing trades. I'm back to making adjustments because from last month I made a total killing off of it. I might be starting all over again, but I'm not giving up hope in finding a consistent trading pattern that will comfortably work for me. I am heavily influenced by one candlestick setup and also a way of reading chart patterns. It's from reading up on many authors who gave up a common method of trading that they all believe in, but I don't fully follow them and do my own thing too. I think the only thing I need to work on now is looking to enter the market at the right time each day for maximizing my gains and minimizing my losses. I'm getting pretty comfortable with it and I guess from all the exposure I have had with trying every system I could get my hands on, I'm just sticking to the ones that make sense for me and simple enough to maintain. It's pretty much about trying to create my own profitable system and adapting to anything that happens.
Monday, July 8, 2019
Part Of The Commitment
I have made some serious vows now from having felt stupid and I'm working at them seriously. I don't ever intend on breaking my new oaths I have decided to make with the Lord. Basically, what it entails to me is to put my personal priorities first before letting my mind wander off. This will be a permanent fix for me. The whole crazy oath I have decided to make now with abstaining from porno is only from hoping that I'm able to settle down with the right lady someday. I still have quite a ways to go with building my confidence and getting things to work in full order.
One of my priorities is to keep on working to earn a living and to also work at doing something better. I have seriously tried on and off with poker, but it has its good and bad days. I think swing trading really suits my personality more than trying to earn a living from poker. I have tried to be consistent with online poker and even with the hard work and right setups, I'm still getting the short end of stick by losing to lucky opponents. I guess it happens, so I'm just going to play it recreationally now and not look to make any consistent money with it. I'm going to give it up in favor of learning to trade successfully. I like this a lot better for a job than what I'm currently doing.
I do know my preferred future with making money really deals with designing and developing software. I think it's also cool to become a product development manager and sell useful stuff for profit. Overall, for building my confidence I feel pretty good about making my to-do list a general guideline.
Sunday, July 7, 2019
The True Vows
I went off telling a supposedly funny and true story after giving a little description of my oldest vow that's still intact. I could seriously write a fictional story with made up characters with the amount of content I was exposed to over the years, but I don't know if it would be a hit. It's probably just going to be dismissed or criticized harshly by mainstream editors. I also don't have a strong interest in doing it right now because it might not make me happy to keep on running through things that made me so mad in the past and how I tried to get even with them.
My oldest vow that I'm working on is pretty much making myself a millionaire with six pack abs. I truly desire this for myself personally and very selfishly. I added on that after obtaining these I would go visit that old bothersome church and left it there. I made this vow because I felt that I was starting to get obsessed with getting even with them and wanted to focus on something better. It's pretty simple to be successful and let the money talk while having a sexy body. I could be a gentleman with this status and be like I'll be your friend and pretend like nothing bothers me with how they are behaving.
My other vow is related to getting a girlfriend after another loser who is my oldest friend started annoying me with wanting to constantly play this card game and was going nowhere with his life. He was also a sore loser and it was enraging me a lot along with him being rude on the table playing manners. I told him I was never touching my deck again because of him until I found a nice girlfriend and hopefully became rich. I haven't gone back on this vow ever since. I still have yet to find the one!
I'm adding in a couple more vows because I think it's stupid if I don't keep doing them to begin with. I think this is going to be a much wiser self-investment for me and really torture me a lot sometimes but I'm going to give myself the courage to go through it with God as my witness. I know what I want to do with my life and have them written down, but it's like the hardest thing in the world for me to always commit to them. I'm going to make this pledge to work on all of them first and that's possible at the moment before going off to doing something else to let myself wander. I swear to always do this with God as my witness.
My last vow to currently add in is the scariest one for me to make but I think I have to because if I don't it's just plain stupid to me. It deals with watching some good porn and practicing on using my private part to have long lasting endurance until the lucky lady feels so much pleasure with it first. It doesn't sound so bad in a humanistic point of view but I think it's stupid to be honest. I'm releasing a lot of little guys in the process and don't think they have an appropriate burial. What's so stupid is that I naturally possess the brilliance and power already to perform nicely and it's like there are a few other methods available too if I so badly want this with my sex partner.
With God as my witness and I know this one is something I will suffer over so badly and have a sex-related complex to hurdle over once I make this pledge, I swear to withhold myself from practicing via masturbating or watching porn by myself for any reason willingly and knowingly until I'm lucky enough to marry a lady who enjoys having a lot of marital sex for recreational purposes like maybe a drug! There is no one I would pull my pants down for and watch porn with, so that issue won't be a problem. Once I hit submit, this last one is going to be killing me almost for awhile. I know I have to because it's stupid if I keep on doing this to my little guys who will just be there hopefully past the age of 80! Okay, no take backs and looking forward to letting go of this personal complex.
My oldest vow that I'm working on is pretty much making myself a millionaire with six pack abs. I truly desire this for myself personally and very selfishly. I added on that after obtaining these I would go visit that old bothersome church and left it there. I made this vow because I felt that I was starting to get obsessed with getting even with them and wanted to focus on something better. It's pretty simple to be successful and let the money talk while having a sexy body. I could be a gentleman with this status and be like I'll be your friend and pretend like nothing bothers me with how they are behaving.
My other vow is related to getting a girlfriend after another loser who is my oldest friend started annoying me with wanting to constantly play this card game and was going nowhere with his life. He was also a sore loser and it was enraging me a lot along with him being rude on the table playing manners. I told him I was never touching my deck again because of him until I found a nice girlfriend and hopefully became rich. I haven't gone back on this vow ever since. I still have yet to find the one!
I'm adding in a couple more vows because I think it's stupid if I don't keep doing them to begin with. I think this is going to be a much wiser self-investment for me and really torture me a lot sometimes but I'm going to give myself the courage to go through it with God as my witness. I know what I want to do with my life and have them written down, but it's like the hardest thing in the world for me to always commit to them. I'm going to make this pledge to work on all of them first and that's possible at the moment before going off to doing something else to let myself wander. I swear to always do this with God as my witness.
My last vow to currently add in is the scariest one for me to make but I think I have to because if I don't it's just plain stupid to me. It deals with watching some good porn and practicing on using my private part to have long lasting endurance until the lucky lady feels so much pleasure with it first. It doesn't sound so bad in a humanistic point of view but I think it's stupid to be honest. I'm releasing a lot of little guys in the process and don't think they have an appropriate burial. What's so stupid is that I naturally possess the brilliance and power already to perform nicely and it's like there are a few other methods available too if I so badly want this with my sex partner.
With God as my witness and I know this one is something I will suffer over so badly and have a sex-related complex to hurdle over once I make this pledge, I swear to withhold myself from practicing via masturbating or watching porn by myself for any reason willingly and knowingly until I'm lucky enough to marry a lady who enjoys having a lot of marital sex for recreational purposes like maybe a drug! There is no one I would pull my pants down for and watch porn with, so that issue won't be a problem. Once I hit submit, this last one is going to be killing me almost for awhile. I know I have to because it's stupid if I keep on doing this to my little guys who will just be there hopefully past the age of 80! Okay, no take backs and looking forward to letting go of this personal complex.
Making More Vows
I have only made two vows and managed to keep them for awhile. The older one was basically made from the old church I used to blog about having caused me some anger problems. They were full of nonsense and saying I was overshadowing people and causing them to leave. The proof is made from contradiction- they said I was doing this to two ladies there, Annie and Betty and even put it on paper which I have proof from e-mail. Annie and Betty never left while I was there and assumedly overshadowing people. By just contradiction alone, they were full of themselves and a bunch of idiots, which is my opinion. I think I was really justified for calling Lee stupid and even giving her the nickname Stupid. Obviously, I'm not going to call her that in person, but I had fun on this blog even though I know Lee read this blog a few times and even quoted something I have no memory over during a court hearing to have a restraining order which she failed to make permanent. Well, if I stalked and they had proof I would be in jail. It's just that they only said I did and Annie and Betty would be like their major proof to assume and Annie and Betty personally said I did nothing like that and didn't even leave that church which was Lee's stupid complaint.
I did write a poem with my opinion that I think Annie and Betty are unattractive. I have the right to say this because they made me mad from not wanting to be Facebook buddies. I think they are unattractive from being unable to let go of small and girly things so that's what my poem was based on and how it really concerned me about wanting to date them in the future. Lee had to go off and be Stupid Lee, so yeah, it's an age old tale that's easy to deal with now because I proved her idiocy from using a proof method that I had to do for graduating in Computer Science. It isn't controversial anymore and it's just really funny. The world is full of idiots and it's my opinion.
It's great because another lady named Yuri stopped being a dumb and crazy pain-in-the-butt with me. She said I was super crazy and that I should land in a mental hospital and annoying by having kept on calling me a psycho in writing. If I was that way, she would have been killed by now from being an idiot and me knowing where she is already from having made me so mad. I was so angry but I held back by just making fun of her and she was such an unpleasant lady. It's my opinion. She accused me of being a stalker, but I blatantly and showed off to her about blocking her Facebook profile so that means I couldn't write harassing messages to her so it contradicts her claim also.
Okay, I won the major battles with two stupid ladies and it had to be done. I can still be a gentleman with them because I want to be and I do have lady friends who are so much cooler and also one who is annoying sometimes to me like a little sister. I still stick around and treat them well and even though I have trouble supporting everything Annie and Betty along with Lee and Yuri may be going through, I'll still be nice to them because I just like being that kind of guy.
I did write a poem with my opinion that I think Annie and Betty are unattractive. I have the right to say this because they made me mad from not wanting to be Facebook buddies. I think they are unattractive from being unable to let go of small and girly things so that's what my poem was based on and how it really concerned me about wanting to date them in the future. Lee had to go off and be Stupid Lee, so yeah, it's an age old tale that's easy to deal with now because I proved her idiocy from using a proof method that I had to do for graduating in Computer Science. It isn't controversial anymore and it's just really funny. The world is full of idiots and it's my opinion.
It's great because another lady named Yuri stopped being a dumb and crazy pain-in-the-butt with me. She said I was super crazy and that I should land in a mental hospital and annoying by having kept on calling me a psycho in writing. If I was that way, she would have been killed by now from being an idiot and me knowing where she is already from having made me so mad. I was so angry but I held back by just making fun of her and she was such an unpleasant lady. It's my opinion. She accused me of being a stalker, but I blatantly and showed off to her about blocking her Facebook profile so that means I couldn't write harassing messages to her so it contradicts her claim also.
Okay, I won the major battles with two stupid ladies and it had to be done. I can still be a gentleman with them because I want to be and I do have lady friends who are so much cooler and also one who is annoying sometimes to me like a little sister. I still stick around and treat them well and even though I have trouble supporting everything Annie and Betty along with Lee and Yuri may be going through, I'll still be nice to them because I just like being that kind of guy.
Thursday, July 4, 2019
Happy 4th of July
For me today, it was about messing around and I wasted a few hours playing poker and looking at saddening and boring porn while hoping on a girlfriend to come around with my out of shape body. I'm thinking so negative about myself while doing things that has nothing in mind with what I truly want to do.
I have a to-do list now of what I really want to do and I'm just going to have to set myself out and try to get them done now. There's really nothing else but just setting my mind to it and keeping a heart of discipline going. It's really about initiating and keeping it that way. I'm going to go for it.
I have a to-do list now of what I really want to do and I'm just going to have to set myself out and try to get them done now. There's really nothing else but just setting my mind to it and keeping a heart of discipline going. It's really about initiating and keeping it that way. I'm going to go for it.
Wednesday, July 3, 2019
The Main Issue
I think my mind worked around expectations like I came home early yesterday and to wait on my mom to put food out on the table. She wasn't there so I ended up watching a local baseball game with the Angels for entertainment. A starting pitcher of the Angels which I'm a fan of ended up passing away in his hotel room while on a road game at the age of 27. He was really young and it stunned the MLB community along with affecting the teammates who were close to him. I don't really have much to say about it right now, but would like to listen more about it. I just have to say that he was like their best pitcher this year and it's sad.
Well, I didn't get much done yesterday even though it was on my mind to do something about it. I was just sitting there thinking through how I was going to get it done without doing anything else after watching most of the game. What I believe messed me up is from not thinking fluidly enough yesterday. This is where I'm currently struggling. I have all these goals in mind and having trouble putting them together to make myself right now. I've always had this issue.
I guess I could start by writing out privately what I would like to get done to myself and try to keep myself from being overwhelmed.
Well, I didn't get much done yesterday even though it was on my mind to do something about it. I was just sitting there thinking through how I was going to get it done without doing anything else after watching most of the game. What I believe messed me up is from not thinking fluidly enough yesterday. This is where I'm currently struggling. I have all these goals in mind and having trouble putting them together to make myself right now. I've always had this issue.
I guess I could start by writing out privately what I would like to get done to myself and try to keep myself from being overwhelmed.
Need To Keep Trying
Lately, I'm being a very forgetful person and also just letting myself dwell with sitting around thinking and not putting myself into action. The amount of work I'm putting in and still living with my parents makes it pretty hard for me. I guess these are the problems that I need to deal with for myself. They aren't life threatening or anything in that manner- it's just not my preference with the way I'm living.
The only response I have to all this adversity I'm feeling is just to keep on trying harder for getting the things I want. I would like to be very consistent as well and this is always on my mind, but I'm still failing flat on my face. I wish I didn't see this for myself, but I just constantly do. I'm not really fretting so much about it anymore and just managing to stay calm enough.
I'm just not putting myself in the mood too much by just sitting on the couch and turning on the TV and just blocking everything else everyday. After this is all over with, I'm leaving myself feeling like I didn't get enough done. I could seriously just make these changes for myself.
The only response I have to all this adversity I'm feeling is just to keep on trying harder for getting the things I want. I would like to be very consistent as well and this is always on my mind, but I'm still failing flat on my face. I wish I didn't see this for myself, but I just constantly do. I'm not really fretting so much about it anymore and just managing to stay calm enough.
I'm just not putting myself in the mood too much by just sitting on the couch and turning on the TV and just blocking everything else everyday. After this is all over with, I'm leaving myself feeling like I didn't get enough done. I could seriously just make these changes for myself.
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