Becoming Set In Stone

Rising to the occasion of a Monday night's fight,
The runt out there is a form that left me not caring.
Bearing witnesses really had no key to his occasion.
Moccasins of stink are like evoked by the little man.

Testing the waters is what a man I love would say.
Paying attention to the nuances through concentrating,
Perpetuating insult by adding way more accuracy,
Negligently, toughening out in those boring down times.

Surely one would say, I care not about your credit score.
For all the marbles, I would want you on my team.
Beam me up Scotty because you either will rock or stink.
Fink, I think you winked at me- I'm turning my head. 

September 11 Passing

Oh, I have to end the night by offering my blogworthy condolences to everyone who was affected by the September 11 attack on the World Trade Center. I think everyone in the U.S. was virtually affected by it- well, those who cared about it. I feel really fortunate that the planes didn't come crashing down on Hollywood killing off those annoying actors and actresses, but I feel bad for those generous and lovely people who lost their lives that day. Not to mention, the family members and friends who grieved for them- along with the Veterans and significant others who have been affected by it.

It's one of these moments where I just feel solemn thinking about it. Man, I was out at a beach tonight and it was really fun again. It was such a privilege to just hang out there with a big crowd and have fun. I was never really a big party guy while going to high school, and it might be the same with those people I hung out with, so we might be on the same boat together. Now, I'm learning to greet people and say bye to some of them. I used to not tell people goodbye, but now I think I am going to because who knows I might even never see them again ever and it would be thoughtful.

Busy Busy

Times are looking like I'm going to really be busy- so busy that I won't probably be able to blog maybe even for a couple months. Therefore, to meet my daily quota of one per day to make exactly 365 posts- it may seem like I'm writing a lot in one day. It might be one of those moments where I just write stories, poetry, and make up anything that I want to say.

Maybe I'll be writing in one paragraph per post because having 365 paragraphs to cover one year doesn't sound like a hard personal chore for me to cover. I'm starting to turn into a real adult now- meaning that I'm aware of my surroundings and really stable underneath. It feels great, and I don't feel that unhappy with myself anymore. When somebody wants to say that I'm short or ugly or anything like that, I'm feeling like "Man, come on!" and with a smile on my face now. I think that means you're like an adult when you get to that kind of state. It's okay for little kids to smile when someone calls them a squirt and feel like "Man, come on!" The child is definitely a pretty wise guy then if he or she could feel that way and seriously still manage to be a happy camper. I guess I'll teach my kids with my current wife to never feel down when someone criticizes what they look like to still put a smile on their face. I don't care if my kid is short or tall- what they're born with is how they are going to be and I'll be sure to encourage them to become confident adults now to help them succeed.  You know- maybe my short daughter (or son, if it goes there) might even become CEO or a multi-billionaire and make me proud; whoever he or she becomes, I think I'll be a happy dad someday.

Appreciating Long Hours of Good Work

It's been one of those moments now where I don't really mind working long and hard hours to be ensured a paycheck. That being said, I'm ready to dwell into the most extreme job that I could find for now to begin my rude awakening. I'm understanding that living on your own and being single can actually be a difficult thing to cope with. I think it's a really good thing to appreciate company with other people.

After feeling up my days and being touched up with where I've been longing to go, I've pretty much evolved from a video game addict into appreciating the moment of becoming a hard working and underrated person. I realize that working hard and obtaining money to survive will seriously help fulfill a physical void in my life. I know that my mind has been active from being schooled quite awhile, and I also believe that my heart has been worked on daily even though it consistently makes the weirdest mistakes and gets sprung on bedlam by itself.

Seriously, I'm a writer and I understand how people are going to react because I know their instinctual drives too because well, I possess them too. I just seem to bring it out in myself a little more because I've been practicing this veracity in my writing. It might be designed to kill but not in a profligate way; what I mean is that, it might throw quite a bit of people off or maybe even everyone at certain moments of their life. Because I understand human nature, I have to put in my years to really become prosperous because well I just wasn't that auspicious in the nepotism world just like mostly everybody. I think God wants me to work hard for a normal life style, which I'm perfectly fine with now. I believe that I'm doing fine dealing with people relationships especially with women; something about loving my wife the most out of all ladies makes it so much easier. Heck, I know I shouldn't be saying this but this site is like my "Boo Yeah Baby" blog- I could probably turn Lee Wong against Jarred Taing who was acting like an angry, retarded person of Hope of God Church in Los Angeles and even receive Betty's support again haha. All in all, relationship wise, I must be an everybody kind of guy.

Getting Busy

I'm realizing that my biggest anxiety comes from not having enough money. I guess that's why I need to go out working and in this type of economy from what I hear, I guess there aren't too many options anymore. I think a person has to be very good or lucky with something to be able to have a job. Because it's really all about pulling the right strings for me, I understand where I need to be headed now to make an edge where no one will really be able to refuse me now.

It's been rather difficult to come away with a decent, good paying job. I'm pretty much looking at something right now and that I have to do everything the hard way now. If I don't take these small, promising steps then I'm wasting away my time anyway hoping for something good to come along. I might as well start somewhere and hope while I'm doing something.

Finding Time And Relief

I believe this post is just a basic outlook in how people normally get it together and find ways to enjoy life. First and foremost, a good amount of these people have money which allows them to afford some enjoyable things in life. I believe that money came to them from either being part of a wealthy family or just finding a way to get everything going well for them and basically obtaining a pretty lucrative job. In this economy, finding the right information is like the ultimate tool for success.

Some people just can't allow themselves the time to research on things that may interest them because they may place their obligations on other things which might involve working very long hours. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, if the person is content about it because his or her significant others might be able to learn to compromise with it.

I guess for myself, the sense of dread with worries of wasting time when I go out attempting to do some productive things comes from feeling like I'm lacking money. If I have the money, it's like my worries of time with something I invest in can't really worry me that greatly and put me in a situation to make some terrible mistakes. Struggling is definitely a vital component to becoming a successful person because the immense amount of time, training, focus, and dedication really contribute to a confident person with a pretty nice discipline in something that earns money. I think there's not really a lot of money that has to be attributed to starting up to what the person wants to do after all. After everything I've put in, I now see the truth in many things and understanding the potential with how things are adding up. Looks like, it starts with money flow and having a good amount of it and making some smart decisions with it will seriously contribute to growth in wealth, along with having lots of more time- it's just common sense. I think I'm on my way to earning a pretty successful and lucrative path now with plenty of time that will be added my way because I seem to just take pleasure in learning about new stuff like fixing a car, designing a robot, or just making personal music in my leisure even if the quality is shoddy.

I think becoming a suave investor who manages his own money finds ultimate growth in income and free time to do other stuff; besides the investor would be in charge of his own business which generates income even if it only takes about 15 minutes a day to make a smart decision. I'm sure the majority of people don't understand how to do this or don't even want to think about how it relates to themselves because they hear about pitfalls and can't go any further. The risks may be incredibly high but by having discipline and training the mind to think in successful capacity, the reward can be very high no matter how discouraging the path may become; it's just a matter of sticking to it and doing a lot of practice on it without really spending any more money. Everything has to add up in the end to make it work, and it looks like I'm a part of it now. 

Letting Go Is Tough

Things I'm so used to in the flesh are totally psychedelic and extremely addicting at the same time; therefore, I have problems trying to run away from them for very long periods of time. I mean I could be like addicted to my job or maybe I could be addicted to trying to be a good person and be a loving husband. I guess there are some things out there that are good to be addicted to; in a way, it can be a good thing but overdoing can become a problem. For example, being addicted to loving my wife and only focused on that might keep me from doing my boring job right now.

I'm addicted to sleep on most occasions, but right now I'm up and about at 4 in the morning. Man, I guess that sounds more like someone whose addicted to staying awake. Therefore, letting go is hard- yeah, I was trash talking to myself about playing a dumb poker game and so I deleted the contents very rapidly and with no remorse. It's like I never played the game. Anyway, talking about how tough it is in letting go with my gaming addictions and other addictions that are non-drug related, man it just feels like I have all the time in the world sometimes.

Pretty much the biggest thing I'm addicted to is having unselfish fun. I don't know how that's plausible with being a giving person and having fun at the same time. It's possible because God can make it that way for anybody if he or she wants to think it's fun doing stuff like that- it's mainly perceptual. Okay, so I'm wasting my time here blogging and circumventing from my main point. I have all the reasons or maybe that's how I'm building my post right now into convincing everybody that letting go could actually be easy- it's art which can be so deceptive sometimes.

I guess I have to discipline myself and do the boring chores in life in a marathon-like path. I'm not afraid of becoming unstable from doing constant boring actions now. Yes, asking random people to marry me would get boring because what's the point if I'm going to keep getting rejected by showing my wedding ring which I would have technically glued on. Marriage is considered to be an institution by the government- wow, what a logical body. My wife and I are like one in the same flesh and entity that's recognized by the government.

Letting go and doing some of the hardest things in the world comes from having discipline. Once a person commits to discipline and gets something successfully done- it's really hard to break from it. I guess the boring adult stuff I'm doing is only being rationalized from what I did as a kid to have fun. In order to make a living, I was supposedly having fun because something was what I really set myself out to do.

Happy Labor's Day

I feel really organized right now and for being Labor's Day- that is not too bad. I've been invited out to also a bonfire so I think I'm going to be checking it out. I've also managed to redesign my blog a little bit to make it look a little more professional or in other words, a little cooler. Pretty much, what I did for about a half an hour was select some designs and when I said "Cool" to myself, I pretty much let it go and this is what I currently have.

What's cool about my body right now is that whenever I go out jogging this trail I live next to by my house, I'm losing about 1.5 pounds which is pretty nice. I only need to burn about five more pounds now and then I should be back to average. A few months ago, I was fifteen pounds overweight and now I'm chipping away at it and closing in on my average weight now which feels pretty nice. Not to mention, it didn't hurt that I managed to spank my body into growing an inch longer. Yes, it is amazing that a short guy like me managed to force my body to grow one inch taller; I'm a machine man. Yeah, okay- it's not a big deal.

Hey, I never knew this but I have some really pretty female friends haha. They are on my Facebook profile, so with those who decided to not be my friend anymore; well, they have some below average looks. Yeah, if they want to up their status in looks category with me then they have to add me as a friend again then I will claim that they are pretty. Hey, an extra vote into the feeling good category doesn't really hurt anyone. Just look what it did for them and how it upped my status when they did something bad to me- just saying, they should stop doing bad things to me. If they don't want to end up in a mental hospital and be very healthy and great looking people then they should let me in. Good stuff! Gosh, I can handle being honest and upfront with people, so it's not like the truth they wanted to avoid all this time will make them better people anyway. Might as well, get it out of their system and let it burn up with analogously doing fat burning exercises and become a better person.

Taking Things One Step At A Time

I guess I have a lot of personal goals that I'm currently chasing after and how even though it feels a little overwhelming, I'm trying the best I can to keep up everyday. I think I just want to be very organized now and really determined to stay on a consistent path. I used to feel like I was going to go crazy by sticking to something that felt like an endless journey; nowadays, I don't really feel those types of nervous toss ups anymore.

How I'm currently straightening out my life is by be willing to take any open position now in earning a form of income, so I now have no restrictions in the type of the job I am seeking. Therefore, it shouldn't be really that hard for me to find a job that will hire me on pretty rapidly and to be literal, I actually did find some of these types of jobs. I'm really seeing myself taking up these positions, gathering up some money, and then working at achieving my personal desires now by like studying to go back to a school.

I'm really determined and happy now to stick with any job even though I had some luck in the past or left out by putting myself under some misconceptions. It's really frustrating but without these types of hardships, I wouldn't really be able to value the good things in life, so I am willing to humbly accept my position now. Golly, even though I read a little of the Bible every day, I don't really pick up on stuff all the time and this just goes for me that I have to take a lot of time to download information into my head to feel satisfied about a subject. I just really want to be like a master of a general trade and so it's going to take right now small building steps to get there. I feel really ancient and foolish for having wasted a lot of precious time when I was a young one but the challenge is starting to turn into something fun for me.

A friend has coined the phrase, "Life is all about testing."  While making preparations for succeeding at a very important exam that will confidently ensure success, it's really worth noting that possibly most people don't really care how well one does at it. There's just an ultimate inspiration some people attribute to when it comes to sticking to the realistic game they're playing. No matter how much the going gets tough, there always seems to be a pretty rational explanation that could inspire someone to be a better person. I guess it's better to avoid confronting stupid things and to avert some people if they're going to be extremely weird or even likely in threatening a circumstance now and to adhere to some good things like Biblical principles. It just seems like I'm at the front seat in most of my days and capable of seeing the most for myself; this is probably where I am the most fortunate and how I'm able to adjust and cope with things to stay true to myself must be a marvel where I give God all of my props. Some people are horrible at coping, and it's something I had trouble realizing but now I see it!

Playing Hard

Yesterday was the opening day for the LA County Fair which is an annual thing that lasts for about a month. Stuff goes on at the park, if one really zones in or asks some workers about what's happening. The Labor Day Weekend which includes today and Monday will introduce only a $1 admission plus $10 for parking which shouldn't really be that bad and keep away ten thousands of visitors who came to check it out today. Plus, the rides had a $1 per ride special after 4 P.M. which was nice. I guess paying only a dollar for the two of the most awkward rides they had to offer was not a bad deal. My friend was very scared to go on both of those rides, but those rides really disappointed me if I had to compare it to the rides I've been on in the past.

After concluding a pretty long day at the fair, we then took a short break and then went over to a girl's house and we just partied and had some fun. My buddy I took felt like he drank a lot of alcohol and then claimed that he was drunk and started getting worried about his dad finding out about it and thinking about the worst case scenarios. It became a little annoying because he was pretty jumpy about stuff and even after we went to get some pho at a restaurant in Westminster, he still felt like he wasn't sober enough to go back home. He ended up crashing on the floor of my room with a sleeping bag, blanket, and pillow. I just woke up at around 10 in the morning because we got back home at about 5 am after hanging out- boy, it was a lot of partying and the girls who we hung out with also wanted to go to a beach after that time.

Overall, it was a little tiresome journey yesterday but I had a lot of fun being around some people and meeting new people and reuniting with some friends. I guess it's a lot of fun when people party responsibly and a lot of people show up to a home. 

Just Learning to Get By

I'm not really struggling internally that much anymore. For me, it's more about refraining myself from repeating the indulging of stuff that would be better if I did not associate with them. Wow, my thinking process is pretty much the same just like any other stable guy out there. I pretty much wrote the first two sentence of this post and saved it for a few years. I guess I easily found my way to it again because of the new makeover the designers of Blogspot made.

Seriously, I'm not really in that much worse shape than some people who thought I was worse off than them. Those guys and gals really need some professional help or to really go see a therapist to help them out a bit in what brings them fulfillment and enjoyment- I really understand their aggravated attitude and one-sided behavior; they should really take some time off for a therapy session, and I think it would be good for them. They were telling me that I needed to get some social therapy haha- I'm a writer who can invent all sorts of stuff and implant it in people's heads. Anyway, it turns out they were pretty much mirroring their desires and imprinting it on me. They wanted to be helped out in some way by telling me they wanted to help me. They couldn't let go of something because they told me to drop whatever normal conversations I had with them.

I'm sorry to single them out, but I'm about being honest and very deep in my considerations, and I do live in a free country where revealing the truth is protected by the Bill of Rights. These people are not legally kids anymore, so it's their responsibility to become decent people even if they messed up somewhere in their track of growing up. Hopefully, the people who know them will relay the message to them based on seeing it themselves and that they will be able to see what I'm seeing in these guys and girls. The last time I had contact with them was at Hope of God Church in Los Angeles, California. Just google for the address and check it out- I forget what their service time is but they may be around and ignoring you when you show up on Sundays during lunch, so I guess you can place your body during that time unless you are me and then they are going to get paranoid when they see me. So these people have common names but those common names in other people might actually be good people, so it's like bad and good people all around so no offense to those people with common names with these people I'm singling out.

If they still go there, which I heavily doubt- after I left they left, and before I left they were telling me I was making people leave their church by being offensive. How funny it was because strangers make their own decisions not based upon on how alluring they made religion seem to other people. Talk to the Pastor Chai over there haha and tell him to go get some Christian counseling or Christian therapy session or anything related to Christianity that will help develop his life. Talk to these guys who sound like women sometimes named Golf and Jarred Taing (he has two R's in his name, which I still remember regretfully)- yeah being branded as girly men can take a toll on some guys. A guy named Bao Hoang, yeah he could sure use some help because he apologized about his outburst saying that it like came out of nowhere and had to be said- what if he was in the situation of stabbing someone with a knife and apologizing about that because he couldn't control himself- see what I mean? Be very careful with approaching a lady there who I think is going to be borderline kooky from studying psychology and wanting to be a marriage counselor- she goes by the name Lee or maybe if she changes her name, her legal name starts with Darunee or Thai youngsters might call her "Pee Lee"- I'm serious, saying P means respect and no disrespect in Thai oddly so Pee Freely is a respected person named Freely in Thai. Talk to Annie Tran over there and tell her to get some help to tone down on the crying she did when I was over there- I'm serious whenever she got up to speak she would occasionally burst out in tears and even Pee Lee said that she cried a lot. Well, Betty Lam yeah- she should get some help from me and only me alone so leave her to me. If you go and she's there, then yeah go for it if you want to but I'm claiming my personal aid on her. If you ever see Chris Kuch over there, tell him to stop being a bonehead wherever he goes yeah that will send a perfect message to him of how Texans usually are. One final guy, if you ever see Washington Chun tell him to join the Navy Seals and stay in the military where they will really use him with deadly missions. Yeah, it will be great to see him being rewarded even though the stakes could be high and he could end up dead!  Tell Stephanie, if you ever see her there- she's kind of short because she's shorter than me so that's actually kind of short; tell her to stop listening to boneheaded people when I brand them as such sometimes; tell her that if all this time, if I was placed under so much scrutiny and didn't end up in jail then well I guess I'm not crazy or going to become crazy even if everybody tries to put me through some very tough times or I put myself through it. Also, let her know that I'll be working with crazy people at a mental hospital and know some of those characteristics really well and hopefully, she'll never display any of it with me.

Pretty much, I'm about working long hours and then coming back home to work on some additional things right now. Having a wife is great and well and really fulfilling for me. I think she's pretty understanding because I don't mind helping out and the baby may cry a lot but once she grows up, she'll be taking care of my needs hopefully and when I cry and somebody changes my diaper as an old man, it will be my eldest daughter. She might seriously know by then that I passed on some genes that make some parts pretty big for all the boys. My little sister's first impression of me having a lot of kids was "Yuck." Okay, so I need to work out a little more and have a strong work ethic and then she's not really going to think anything physical about me. Secretly, I wanted a son to be the oldest just in case something happens but with having a boy or girl- I think both can equally provide some lifelong fulfillment as a parent for me.

I no longer feel ashamed about finding any job of convenience for me. I think I had the brains to not go to college at all and pick up on a decent job and then move up into a managerial position by now if I wanted to. Lacking confidence really held me back, but now I see that I really need to hustle and be consistent with anything that I want to get my hands dirty on now. I think I can really trust myself being confident now about the job I want to stick with and also how it will fit into my personality. Even if it ends up being a little different, as long as I'm receiving some type of comfort out of the conveniences I'm undertaking, I don't seem to mind anymore holding the position as long as I can until something better comes up and end up really moving on with some style.

Very Descriptive And Funny Dream

Growing up, my grandma used to babysit me while my mother would go to work. There was always this feeling of exuberance with being at her house when things were going well. She used to discipline me, and I would feel bad from not knowing what I did. I recently had a dream about God sending me to a person's home. I stood in front of a white door with a beautiful, fall-season-checkered square glass window, balanced near the top. The door opened naturally and then a lovely and beautiful acquaintance appeared in the picture-perfect front porch- it was Jessica. We didn't say a word to each other and put on eager faces, as we mutually agreed for me to come follow her inside. I noticed a pretty narrow, white wall to the left side as I got in, and the room setting was lit regularly with a dark-brown furry carpet. The narrow walls come from me being used to visiting an old friend's two-story apartment, which I loved going to! The dark-brown furry carpet is what my home used to have while I was a young boy, before my mom remodeled it to candle-colored pink. We walked north down the hall and then it appeared that my conscious of the room gradually rose on a steady incline to a balance on the second floor.

At first glance, it was a small kitchen attached to the living room. There was a cooking platform placed slightly westward to the middle of the room and at the west corner storage compartments with a white porcelain surface placed about five blocks wide and spanning for any arbitrary distance I would have in mind by the wall. The room was white all around, and it had the feel of a cozy den with stairs being all the way south by that wall. The staircase looked as if it had no rails with how the stairs ascended. There was a lovely, fresh, and misty view of the outdoors with a large window at the west end.

There were silvery white couches balanced oppositely from each other starting at the northern wall. A large rectangular sturdy and convenient table was situated at the middle with everyday items, such as a vase, newspapers, neatly stacked documents. Three, masculine, reserved, elderly father-type relatives of Jessica occupied them. Imagine how Kevin would look like thirty years from now with the body he has. Jessica admitted to me that she has a very close relationship with her dad. There was also a small coffee table and love seat orientated to form a straight line perpendicular and juxtaposed to the other furniture while facing southward. It was occupied by a randomly generated Asian and lovely grandma. In the dream, when I got into the room the three men were glancing at me. They had a smile on their face and appeared friendly, but had a look of suspicion. It's like they were a little envious and being protective of her.

I greeted the three-in-one dads of Jessica and her grandma in the dream. The men sort of acted like my first impression of Kevin, whose pretty quiet. The grandma seemed happy about me giving her affection and looked as if her mind was pairing me up with Jessica. Jessica then ran over to the counter and prepared some jelly sandwiches. She then oddly held two of them and slipped them in porcelain shaped boots that were the size of a fist. Jelly started gushing out. This symbolizes to me a person's flesh.

I Understand What Drives People Angry With Me

All of the people who get angry with me from doing something that really bothers them and wants me to stop really have trouble with not ignoring things and being aware of everything in their surroundings. I just messed around with some stuff to get a better understanding of this. The reason why I'm capable of messing around with this stuff is because I'm great at pushing the envelope and forcing people to see things whether they want to or not. I was intentionally playing devil's advocate with a recent topic and I was met by an angry mob. I'm just doing some damage control right now, which is actually fun and I guess my goal was to get a lot of exposure from getting the most comments. The only fuel that is keeping me going is the 1 or 2 weird people who stated that they like my controversial statement.

I'm just naturally good at forcing angry people to shine their light away from me. I'm also pretty good at persuading even though I don't really try to for selfish interests only with good people. I make the mistake sometimes of judging who is a good person or not. After awhile, I show my true colors and I can really be a pain to an angry person who is just forced to shut him or herself off with me and experience moments of trying to be by themselves. I do these things by dealing directly with a person, and I always see a way out. I have the normal moral values, so I can almost push the envelope with anything I want and do it in a natural fashion whether people like it or not.

I guess I'll demonstrate what I mean in this whole making people angry and dealing with them by understanding their anger and pain. They are sometimes at the brink of going crazy and could be about eventually entering into a mental hospital. It was not my decision for them to go crazy; it was their own, and they are responsible for making peace with themselves and become rational about a situation. With me pushing buttons and pushing the envelope, I'm still pretty good at persuading and forcing others to see something they don't want to about me.

Disciplining the Mind

It's really important to be able to discipline the mind. I guess I have to really stress it now because I understand that being able to be disciplined or get to a somewhat decent level of it will seriously help make life a lot more exciting. I think discipline is related to commitment, so in a way it's really about doing something pretty long term. Therefore, in an economic fashion having discipline over not trying to err with making money will contribute to making profit.

My life is about to get really crazy in the stuff I'm going to be doing to make a living. I seriously can see how exciting it's going to be for me and that it could really be useful in getting pretty decent dates too if I wasn't already married haha. My friend has told me that I look the part in that I have a successful image if I wear a suit, so I guess a short guy like me might fare okay with gigantic women. Not my initial cup of tea, but okay, my point is that I think I'll be okay with satisfying my wife for the days that are to come ahead of us.

There's a lot of things out there that people don't really know about in general because they are probably not really open to it or maybe, they just don't really care about too much and are happy where they are at. I guess I just have this ambition to do something really exciting and just let it pack in with a multiple degree to receive utmost satisfaction in the present. I think it just means I was happy yesterday and am satisfied right now and will be tomorrow. It's just pretty stable, and I'm doing this while not stepping on anybody's toes. If people are willing to get to that exciting point of their life, and they just want to take that extra step and they get it done then I feel really happy for them. I'm just trying to live a full life right now and report on some findings that's going to contribute to personal growth. If others can take something from what I'm dishing out because I just want to give it to others freely, then I'm happy if they make profit in something I gave for free. 

Making Positive Tidbits

Stability, contentment, and humor are all elements that can be combined properly to receive a positive response from others especially women. I guess I've been doing quite a bit of writing for the last five years, which is detailed on this blog. I've just written random stuff but when it ties together with what I've been recently writing about, the bad parts of it seem to be overlooked now and in fact, I'm receiving a lot of enjoyment with laughing at some of the comments I've dared myself to put down. No matter how denigrating it is for myself, it just feels good that I can find some space with the involvement I was a part of and have a good laugh about it.

Pretty much, I've tried to adopt a positive writing style without trying to be apostatical. As a matter of fact, while trying to compose some posts, I would sometimes feel really auspicious about stuff because I would be feel cravenly about offending others. Then, I drew a conclusion that the truth can't really leave outerspace and disappear from any physical existence. Becoming veracious all of a sudden helped me overcome a lot of stuff- the saying "The truth sets you free!" is a pretty valid claim. Because of this, I now understand some flaws in the women who are closest to me.

My little sister's cat is becoming sort of annoying right now haha. It's just barging into my room asking to be petted and given attention like every five minutes. The only thing I like about it is that it's clean and knows where to go when it needs to take care of business. Yesterday, I played pretty hard even though I was pretty tired from being Sunday of all days in the week. A female friend of mine took charge as usual and didn't get what she wanted so she felt disrespected and made the whole group do a small exodus from this one restaurant to another one right down the sidewalk. She was basically trying to get a friend and me admitted into the restaurant because the bouncer said my shorts were too long which was perceived as discrimination by my other friends. I was really appreciative of her efforts with standing up for me- I will try to always have her back next time whenever she needs it. I was really laughing about the bullocks that went on, along with not really minding that much from being a little exhausted from bowling really hard with them in the afternoon. My friend told me that I dressed conservatively, so I can see why the bouncer was not really all there last night; along with not paying any attention to my female friend who was dressed really nicely.

Understanding Something About Professions

It's been one of those moments where I'm starting to feel that whatever profession people decide to make a living with, it's really about committing themselves to it. Dedication is really important to a work ethic because it will pay off in the long term. I guess I keep saying this over and over again, but what I want to make some time for everyday is to work out.

I'm no longer really feeling what some people would like to call performance anxiety. As funny as it is, my soul just feels really stable and happy to be in existence. I think I've proved to myself several times just to reassure myself that I could be sufficient with wherever I want to be. I'm making some calls based on people's actions and trying to be logical about it.

I guess my height for seriously being below average as a guy isn't really an impediment to me, based on the interactions I've received from people; in a way, I've been around several weird sociopaths and not about to let them control me when in fact, I'm not bothered by whatever it is about them and just laugh about it. What I mean is that, when people try to bring up stuff about me personally, they just want to change the subject after awhile.  

Establishing Something

I made a thought process with a lot of effort. Pretty much, it felt that taking care of my wife is a lot of hard work and dedication. One of my friends today told me that it's like that with any woman you're going to be with, so I told him "If you're going to work so hard out of love for a woman, why not go for the best looking one to you anyway?" To me, I believe that loving and taking care of my wife is more important than how beautiful she appears to be at times; actually, I'm compelled to state that she's a 10 out of 10 at all times. Basically, I want to encourage her to give me some enjoyment if people know what I mean. Basically in this whole relationship process, I believe that being able to date a very good-looking woman is like adding icing to the foundation of a cake. The core of all relationships should be about how much you love the person and can be compatible with; pretty much, my friend is implying that he might become a slave to a very cute girl he falls for and has a rather good connection with her until he gets bored of her and finds another one he goes throbbing over.

Don't get me wrong; my friend is actually a pretty good guy because he wouldn't let his own wife and children bite the dust just like how Al Bundy stayed faithful to his family- that's the awesome part which made it so funny in the long cancelled show. These are some interesting thoughts that I'm having; I guess they are normal because my buddy is just looking down a street and pointing out how good looking a girl is pretty often. I hang out with him pretty often; I even offered to be his wing man just for fun and he's like so self-denying about the opportunity. Man, he's a pretty funny guy to hang with- I'm starting to not mind his own rants about how certain cute girls are just not meant to be in existence to him at all.

Trying To Place Great Value

Today was sort of an interesting day- I learned to not really doubt in myself; that's pretty much it. I guess sometimes it feels like something bad is going to happen and then you start worrying and then it happens, so you go a little crazy and the person who did it to you goes to others who support the person and then the people supporting the other guy finds some find fault in you and tells you go to get help. Oh well, it's just having a bad day; I mean, it could feel like you're having a bad day for several months. 

No really, I went to do some bowling in the morning today where about 25 people showed up. Man, that's a lot of people who wouldn't mind skipping church. Oh well, the ticket included food, bowling shoes, and two hours of unlimited bowling for only $13 dollars. Man, that was a good deal- I couldn't pass it up and sort of felt like I was playing hooky with church. I haven't been to a church in awhile, but I'm still reading my Bible. Just reading my Bible isn't enough I know, so looking at what I read today- sometimes, doing nothing and saying you're Christian can get you in a lot of trouble.

Well, I do go to a church that wants to serve the People once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and once in the evening- it's like they want to serve spiritual food to anybody interested three times a day. Getting one spiritual meal from this church really beats a Happy Meal from Micky D's any day for me. Basically, I'm saying that I want to practice the beautiful stuff that are articulated in the Holy Bible- man, it's so enriching and meaningful with giving me inspiration to live a hardworking and good life. I even believe that it could hold some truth for being a pretty ancient script- man these guys were really onto some very good stuff while organizing some of those prophetic texts, which can be scientifically tested with comparative literature that pops up in archaeology, so it sure beats having to rely on scientific dates that go back a billion years when no one was alive to record that day of history; this Bible stuff was dated in some human civilization so there's evidence for comparison to look at these possible prophetic messages. Excuse my English please, but man Bible prophecy and examining how the end of the world or humanity might happen gets sort of interesting.

Getting Stronger

I am stronger than yesterday. There's nothing like stuff that are a mile away. I'm reaching those destinations a little faster because I'm trying to run everyday- my belly feels like it's going to burst these days. If I can situate my belly from not wanting to tighten up while running, then I'm home free and will be able to run for hours even while my legs just want to fall off.

Of course, there's the take a car to the location method but I'm trying to lose some weight so I prefer running over driving to exercise. I have heard that NASCAR race drivers need thousands of calories because when they're on the track, they burn about five pounds of energy! Ever hear about some race car drivers who are amateurs slamming into a cop car? I saw some drag racing take place in this one movie everyone is familiar about and the winners were awarded with a sweet ride.

Okay, for the last paragraph, I was intentionally doing a negative followed by a positive cycle. I was just messing around. When I talk like that with people who are mad with me, they don't want to talk to me period. It's like they're going to get mad because they side with one agenda and then when I switch course they have all that burning anger inside making them feel stupid.

Therefore, being a weird guy is also hard work which I didn't know that I was doing it back then while going to school- it's appreciated even though people are probably not going to return phone calls and respond positively if you try to do stuff with them as the initiator. You can still be the initiator while being weird; the factor that gets to people in general is your hard work and determination and when it's associated with anything positive, some people are going to eventually get hooked onto you if you have enough time with them. I attracted plenty of girls too now that I think of it because they spoke to me gently and dressed well while greeting me and then asked stuff about me to get to know me, so I guess being weird in a good way can have its perks sometimes in attracting beautiful and intelligent women- just that I was shy and didn't really speak up; that was my ultimate downfall. When I did speak for some reason, I managed to make them laugh- don't know how but I see that it was a good thing even while I didn't really have all the looks, I guess the good parts of my physical body were highlighted well so I think looks don't really matter that much, if the feelings of love take control over a person.

Incredible Life Passing Through

I'm dedicating this passage to my grandpa who passed away on August 24, 2011 at about 4:00 pm PST in Downey Community Hospital. My grandfather was a great man and diligent person- all that I heard from my mom was praise about his great work ethic and how he really didn't take any pleasure in menial forms of entertainment like watching movies or listening to pop culture music. Starting from yeoman status during the postwar of the Japanese occupation in Korea, he obtained wealth through conventional means by working hard and then buying land to farm on. He eventually even almost owned a whole town- that's how wealthy he had become. He managed to father about 8 kids- mostly daughters and only had two sons. One of my uncles from my mom's side is the youngest and a goofball in the family, but I guess it occasionally runs in all of our male blood.

Because my grandfather was a hard working farmer and brilliant investor, I sort of have some of those qualities too when I go after my living. At the age of around 18, my grandpa settled down with my grandma. My grandmother passed away last year- today is the first year since we haven't been able to see her. By Korean tradition, people honor their ancestors the day before they passed away. On this day for my grandma, my grandpa went to go join her a year after she passed away. I heard my relatives commenting that this was an incredibly good time for my grandpa to leave. Basically, my grandparents were inseparable for about 75 years! My mom says that they were a great couple who were in love- my grandma was an incredibly well-spirited and beautifully gifted woman even well into her 80s- that's just how active she was. Before my grandma was hospitalized which crippled my grandpa at the same time, a doctor told my grandpa that he has the heart of a 70 year old while he was 90 years old! If it wasn't for his absolute grief and longing to be with his wife again, I'm sure he could have lived even well past a 100 years old.

My grandfather was the one who inspired me to become a doctor while growing up. He told me just plain forward in Korean with a sturdy and confident voice to study hard and go to college to come out as a doctor. I'm not really alone in this because my little sister was planning on becoming a cardiologist. Another little cousin of mine is planning on going to medical school right after she obtained her license to practice pharmaceutical medicine!

Overall, my grandpa wasn't really a tall man but he had a strong, energetic body who probably stood only about 4' 11". He passed away at the age of 96. However, all of my eight aunts and uncles from my mom's side came out to be taller than their parents. Even though I still consider myself short for being just a tad taller than the old man, it's just inspiration for me to become a beefed up version of him and to also have a little fun on the side with my loved ones. Who knows, my wife might grow taller than me someday with my bones shrinking, but if I convinced her from the beginning that my height didn't matter and she's completely happy with me then I guess her happiness is what matters to me regardless of what other dodo brains think about.

Refocus

I think I've really figured out something that could be revolutionary for me. It's been underneath my nose all this time; I'm just going to reveal it because I figure others could try it out if they ever get a chance to and be really successful at whatever they want. I believe that people can sometimes have something I would like to call natural pressure build up from whatever it is- like feeling pressured to find a suitable partner to marry from feeling lonely or just worrying about being inadequate with something.

With this energy, it's very powerful actually and can actually seriously influence a person to do something that makes him or her human. It's like automatic shutdown with any regards to the world and going through with an action without ever looking back at it. I'm sure if we can look deeply enough with ourselves, we can discern this part of ourselves. The end result can sometimes feel horrific like a dramatic act just came out of the person leaving him or her feel penitent about what he or she did but having trouble leaving it behind because it's like an addiction.

This negative energy is something we can come to appreciate about ourselves and use to our advantage in a healthy way. I believe what I'm trying to touch upon is very complicated and advanced material that really taps into the personal psyche. It's just so ground-breaking for me right now because I see how to use it. It's like going to leave us feeling so vulnerable at that moment, and if we choose to stick to something that benefits ourselves then while on the go, we're going to build up more positive things as we go. It pretty much comes from struggling with the will of the mind- from having this dark side that we want to succumb to but we decide to still stay positive and diligent about something; it's hard but I know that it feels rewarding to stay on a proper path that's being laid out ahead now. It's called dedication and, it's great to have this real energy to challenge ourselves daily and that we can use this fond appreciation to understand that we want to give more time to achieve something greater than us. It's just being incredibly patient while feeling like the insides are just going to explode from feeling so much pain; however, through this energy, if we can claw our way out daily and put it into something we want to be a part of then we'll find ourselves getting somewhere and maybe even find the other few good men out there to associate with us. 

How To Be Issued Passport In Three Days

Today was a pretty tiresome morning because I woke up really early and drove my mom and me to go get ourselves a passport. It looks like the U.S. Passport Center in Los Angeles is really busy because it claims to issue 2,000 passports everyday! I really don't like L.A. traffic because we were still thirty minutes late to our appointment, but fortunately our waiting period was only about an hour so the lines do move rather rapidly. The only way to be able to access this place is to call up an automated 24 hour telephone service and make an appointment while having the applications already filled out, along with a travel itinerary that shows you would need a passport two weeks before departure or for a visa. It's very important to bring the confirmation number because security will check it. Therefore, we'll be receiving our passport in the next three business days which is fast!

Driving really left me beat, so when I got back I slept really well and woke up just now. A job fair is being hosted right near Knott's Berry Farm by a U.S. House of Representative this Wednesday, and when I checked up on the companies rolling by, it looks like jobs that have openings and would be stable are listed. If one wants to check up on it, the website to go to is www.royce.house.gov/jobfair -
I'll see if I can make it.

I've learned something valuable from today's mess. Life is sometimes delayed like driving on a crowded traffic near downtown L.A. and getting killed for being late to work if one has a job over there. It's a really screwed up world sometimes because I was in a bad mood for being late to our appointment. I don't ever want to be late again and be like one of the first people to be serviced when I arrive to finish some important business now. Therefore, being prepared and getting things done that are necessary really efficiently will promote enjoying time to do other stuff. This is something I'm going to try to apply now.

Trying To Help

In life, I guess it's good for a person to be sort of smart. Sometimes, things may get uncomfortable and some individuals will want to run away from stuff. In these moments that I see in others, I am reminded of how I need to stay committed with something by pondering on my intentions. If I stick to something that is good no matter how hard it feels for me, then in the end it's going to pay off. I now know this part dealing with my life and feel that I don't need to seek any additional guidance or counseling anytime soon with others. Studying the Bible and applying its principles is absolutely different from seeking out a psychologist and even some church goers have issues with others by thinking they need help from a person rather than relying on their faith to see how God could be working for the man or woman the person is going against. Therefore, these church goers really have a weak foundation in worshiping the Lord even though they claim to have a relationship with Him, and these people annoy the heck out of others and keep people from attending their church!

It's not about how difficult or how much a person is struggling with obtaining something. It's about how much the person wants it and is willing to put in, even if he or she ends up feeling contrite. These church goers I affiliated with were pretty much jerks from figuratively drowning in their aqueduct; because I have actually forced their awesome disdain away from me, it's just to say that it may be impossible for some people but the human heart is still capable of beating hard and conquering these annoyances! I did deal with a highly unresponsive woman one time who I guess ended up liking me and would always smile while we hung out and she ended up driving me to places. Wow, I guess I could have called her my girlfriend but I ultimately didn't really try anything. Having a resilient attitude and covering up some personal weaknesses will seriously take a person a long way- sometimes being reticent is the best solution.

If a person is going to be talkative about his situation, then I guess it's good for him to speak about it; no matter how annoying it is for someone who doesn't want to deal with what he's saying or even remotely have any interest in helping. I guess in those instances the person should just say that he wants to help out the individual he's talking to and just let loose like a cannon, but keep it honest because dishonesty will suck in the end. I guess there's a way to hold back on some things by trying to work hard at not being angry no matter how bad the situation gets- it doesn't mean this is becoming a liar. There may also be a lot of pressure underneath from feeling shy about interacting. All of these things are normal and can be conquered eventually. Making some people angry and forcing them to wallow about it is all fun sometimes but keep it to a minimal level and be sure to have a really lucid agenda and don't make too many compromises or become so wish-washy all of a sudden; these are weaknesses that a person can display sometimes, and I love taking advantage of it when it happens.

Interesting Stuff

I know that I can be a pretty good salesman now because I understand that customers like to apply emotional needs when they obtain some things. I also would address this properly for those customers who can be open enough about it and situate to their needs as best as possible; unfortunately, there's also some bad luck that can occur every once in awhile in business and leave some customers unhappy. I think that is why it is best to stay up to date as possible and keep them informed relating to the sales profession a person takes- I think those guys who stay honest about what their selling and work extremely hard in a potentially lucrative field make the most money in any sales-related field. It's just  common sense to be this good of a guy because customers will dish out referrals automatically to other people, if the salesman is in there long enough.

Besides being a potentially good salesman when duty calls, I think I prefer the traditional and stable 8-5 pm job schedule while working under an employer. By calculating my time and everything, it seems to be where good things can happen. With the money that I generate from working at a convenient place, these are the things that I know I can invest my money in- Forex, tax liens, Options Trading, life insurance, I.R.A., and bank stuff. Looks like there are plenty of opportunities out there that don't really require any selling, but just a person whose willing to invest in those areas. It's really about the long run and it takes a good deal of effort and research but depending on the person's style, I think it's worth it for someone's retirement.

Feeling Strong

I'm asked by my close relatives if I have a girlfriend now. My reply is that I don't have one, yet. They ask why not? That's a good question; to be honest, I feel like I lack money and that I'm not living on my own yet. If I could seriously have those two elements solved, then I'll really consider about marriage. There are a lot of beautiful women out there; one of my friends have told me that because there's too many he gets something he likes to call the Three Stooges syndrome. He's pretty much an uptight and very picky person; furthermore, he's too timid to risk being turned down by a woman he feels he could bond with. In addition, he finds women who ask him out to be too aggressive for him; man, he's like the tenth wonder of the world to me. I don't know how he's going to settle down because it looks like that's what he wants, except that he doesn't want to have kids. He's like saying that the end of the world is going happen in his lifetime anyway so being married with kids could be pointless, which is really making me laugh right now thinking about his situation.

I've found that living out my goals that I listed today have made me feel really fulfilled. It feels great to carry out those goals, so that is what I am going to be doing now. I'm going to stick to it like a happy routine for me. It's so reassuring for me to know what I'm looking for in life and that I can be really happy working hard at those goals.

Recently, I've been telling my mom that my confidence and mind is becoming really strong and that some of things she used to say which bugged me a lot don't really bother me anymore. I'm just growing at a much more fuller and rapid rate now because I realize that I could have been valedictorian at my high school and college; furthermore, become a pretty strong leader and graduate from a really nice college and have a fiancee by now. I regret not seeing my capability in a timely manner, but I'm learning to make do with what I have now.  

Monitoring Self

There are only 24 hours in a day, which is the standard measure of time the world really goes by. I guess coming back from vacationing in Las Vegas has really shut off my will to really be productive. I think I just need to learn to will myself to get back into the habit again. I seriously need to let go of some age old habits which like to creep in every once in awhile; it's sort of like eating a little too many midnight snacks and gaining a few unwanted pounds occasionally.

The art of this whole mastering being an organized person and fulfilling obligations that I'm really interested in doing is tough. If I can really will myself to stay steady on this path, then I personally know that I will become successful financially. I seriously know my strengths and weaknesses with learning new things and can pretty much learn to apply these stuff eventually, so I guess I have the resilient attitude to learn about some things that others sort of want to take for granted.

I need to pretty much become a workhorse that's going in for the long haul, which is how I need to put it. I have a personal threshold based on comparing how others live and how I desire to live to consider what could be too much. I pretty much have to motivate myself to do some goals for myself, until I don't really have to think much about it

Everyday Goals For Me

To feel like I'm going somewhere with my life, I've really set out the goals that I want to personally live by. Some of these things are stuff that I don't really have obtained yet, but I guess I can strive towards it everyday. I've had awhile to think about what I really want to accomplish with myself, and it's like being around myself all the time is making it hard for me not to go after these things I'm bothered to do everyday now.

I'm basically just listing it out in an ugly manner and not very reader friendly, but it will have to do for me. I guess as I increase in more skill from really pursuing after stuff, I'll be able to do some more neat things. Right now, some of these stuff are in the beginning stages for me and it's just the beginning that I've found what helps fulfill my requests of being alive everyday. I'm 28 now, so what could one really expect coming out of a 28 year old.

read bible
hobby: computer occupations
music: play piano
like to exercise and trade on forex

additional interests:
mechanical engineering, medicine, being family man

wants: free time, informed on great opportunities, and having fun

Just Parleying

Being around cute girls is something I'll say that I'm rather accustomed to now. In a pitiful way, my sister can be considered to be a cute girl because of her physical structure and current youth. I have had to deal with her all these years while growing up- man, it was a pain. I was initially forcing her to deal with life, and she would cover up her ears and start singing in a coarse voice with a nonchalant lyric that kept reiterating itself like a D.J. flipping a sound back and forth- "La la la!" Other times, she acted a little depressed or sober.  There were also those occasions where she would just bust out laughing. Recently, I thought she was a maniac from laughing while acting so angry with me and clearly not paying attention to anything I said- wait a minute, she's not my girlfriend as sad as it is, why did she need to act like I was her boyfriend?

I now understand this whole damsel in distress situation, and man, I'm old enough to see it and to quench it like how Gatorade helps to deal with thirst. There was this movie that believed in feeding plants with Gatorade and lo and behold, the crops died and the world became a dust bowl. I'm like a girl-going-wild quencher now. It makes absolute sense to me now that Betty Lam couldn't file a restraining order on her own with me. It also made sense that Annie Tran was like what did I get myself into, and why is my spiritual mentor acting so crazy?

It makes sense that they aren't fully satisfied where they're at right now because it's really difficult to rebound. They need some help from a guy like me because I understand what stability is now. It's no wonder that the people who considered themselves to be great ran away from what could have been really a great thing, if only they could have humbled themselves a bit longer. Out of protecting some strangers, I wish to cover up their identities. However, the people I've associated with in some intimacy or have gotten close with are a different story where I get to write some truth and seriously defend the absolute truth, no matter how much larcenous the person wants to feel affects his or her career. Just disassociating with me isn't really going to help them solve their problems because there will be more in life, whether they like it or not. It's basically inevitable, so it's best for these incapacitated intellects to let go of their stupidity with me. They aren't the best people in the world because they won't really climb to the top of the ladder, based on their pretenses, actions, and how they feel- therefore, they really aren't that much of a worry for me. However, it could be the other way around for them because I'm really a motivated and ambitious person who might like to be charitable but that's coming at a later date once I've calculated the numbers correctly. 

Really Useful Thought

Ever hear the song, "Money, money, money, money, monieee". I think the Million Dollar Man played it in his entrance to the wrestling ring at one point of his career- boy, he's pretty bad as a wrestler and don't get me wrong he'll probably rip my legs apart and make me see my own pelvis bones but he still hires a bunch of weak jabroni with his money. Even the owner Vince McMahon is just barely richer than him by having only a billion dollars. He recently wrote about Randy Savage- the Macho Man. "Macho, macho man! I want to be a macho man!" I think some boys who grew up watching T.V. and are coming out of yesterday to be the leaders of today remember the old commercial where Randy Savage yells, "Oh yeah! Snap it into some slim jim!"

Okay, nothing is really useful on today's post. I just was thinking about money, but I don't have any money. I'm just saying it's useful to use my imagination. The world is flat because I'm using my imagination, and the world is spiraling where stuff that come down must go up, way up, and etc. I'm seriously going to get me a job man even if it means me pawning this whole writing career I have going, no matter how much people complain about the economy being bad even if I'm going to be shoveling poop out of those porty potties and smelling bad and get no dates! Me becoming a sugar daddy from shoveling poop would be like the worst nightmare for some guys. Well, it's not that I want to be a sugar daddy after a long night's work of cleaning up the private business of most people but I guess it turns some hot women on. This one episode on Thousand Ways To Die featured a lady who liked to be vomited on because she felt very high when someone did that to her- pretty weird indeed but she passed away after turning victim from forcing a guy to vomit on her. Let's see, my wife would be like "That's nice, dear!"

Okay, I commemorate the readers for lasting this long- I won't be surprised if I put everybody to sleep. I guess I'm thinking about doing that right now even while I'm writing about ***censored word***. ***Censored word***, man, I'm so out of line. *** Censored word***, ***Censored word***, I have my pledge to to the G-rated crowd. Don't turn me into PG. Yeah, I guess the average person can understand what I'm saying and relate it to some stability that I'm trying to stay honky dory with. Why did the battery never have a B lettering like a D battery? It's because I would stutter from saying I want the B Battery. They're like - what type? I said I want a B Battery dang it. They're like what, I don't get it. Then, I would have to say, okay I would love 2 C batteries then. They're like, have fun. In their minds, they're like thinking I'm really lame.

Ideas Using Money

There's a lot of stuff penurious people can dream of doing when they have money. I'm just generalizing about this one, but I guess it's safe to assume it's a fact. How many people would honestly raise their hands, if a person asked if he wants to make a million? Some would, which is fair enough- what about a billion? I would laugh really out loud and raise my hand nice and high. Okay, I would think about how selfish I am and donate all of it- yeah, for real because it's imaginative money. Imaginative money is easy come and go, right?

I declare that my thinking of invisible money is visible and that I donate all of it to the people right now, but they have to work at their jobs to get to access to this real money. I'm really trying to brainstorm something right now. What an idiot, I have been- I've been playing on a fake roulette table with this online casino all morning long because I thought I could break the casino with it. How wrong I was.

Okay, I actually don't know for sure if I would make a lot of money by using this strategy that I read up online. I'm not really going to say what it is because I don't want another guy like my friend to not want to listen to me anymore because he "allegedly" lost $6000 because of me when I told him my strategy. I guess it's not good to write it out and then get bashed by a lot of rich people calling me idiot or dummy or stupid or anything profane because these rich people trusted me and formed a mob on this blog by calling me some insane names.

Super Human Samurais Are Invading Pop Culture

A young friend took a photo of me while I was asleep so basically someone took a funny and peaceful photo of me. While at the Hoover Dam, I was reminded of how deterring it would be to commit suicide at this place because the awesome scenery is so daunting to even think about diving in. It's like tunnel vision imagining diving into the pool below while looking straight at the walls slanting downward. Okay, so I may never really have any problems with suicidal thoughts- does this imply that I'm a chicken to take my own worthless life? Well, they say living the high and good life with downing beers and eating pizza while watching crazy professional football gets really old when your liver blows up internally!

I recommended a friend a roulette strategy who likes to play something I call Snake Poker. He ended up losing 6000 dollars at the casino today. He's probably never going to listen to me again. Well, he does cook well and clean the house when you ask him to any day of the week- this is for all the available ladies who want to take on someone with some Inca blood (Peruvian).

What's with the title? I'm just trying to sucker in some room readers by trying to unsuccessfully get them hooked. Boy, what's the likelihood of me having faithful readers like my pretty faithful wife who I have to say is a 10 and cooks the best in this world- even better than that guy who likes to cuss on television and manage hell that goes on in a kitchen.

Vacationing In Las Vegas

Basically, I had only about four hours a sleep for the last two days which has been quite a rush. Supposedly one of the girls brought some home made brownies that she liked to call weed brownies. It tasted pretty good, and I wasn't aware it had some medicinal properties on it. I had about two of them and she had four of them. This morning she acted really excited and kept on laughing about random stuff while claiming it was something about those brownies. I guess there was something in those brownies because man, I felt high for awhile this morning after eating it with some really good ginseng tea.

There's basically about 12 of us sharing one roof which is a residential area outside the Strip- about 5 girls and the rest are a bunch of Joes. It was kind of cool to hang out with the ladies at a pretty upbeat club and just groove to the music- I sort of found my own space and meaning while I was there. One of my closest friends with me rated two of those girls as a 9 and 10 out of 10. I pretty much told them that they were all 10s to me. Towards the end of the night, I was told by the oldest girl that she liked me for who I was and that I was dancing alright while implying that she didn't really care about the bad things people feel about me. I guess it's true brotherly and sisterly love.

Meaningful Way To Live

Even if my writing bugs the heck out of everyone, I'm just going to keep it forever G-rated. Everybody else can go ahead and use inappropriate words all they want when they're by themselves or with people they're comfortable with, but for me I'm just not going to use it. I'm also going to be straight forward about stuff too, so that means I know there's some evil inside of me which really isn't appropriate to talk about, so I'm going to avoid going that direction now, unless I can really be G-rated. There are some topics that are inappropriate for little kids, which I know so when I'm around people who aren't little and I can speak about the topic because it's just unavoidable then I will. For the most part, I'm assuming that little kids can be reading this blog now too, even though I still have some inappropriate ones for little kids to look at. Oh well, I'm going to be appropriate for everybody to read this site now. Everybody else can say whatever they want with me or with however they want to use their language, but I'm not going to speak that way. I might just tell my own kids if I ever get any to not use inappropriate language, but other than lecturing them, I guess it depends on the situation where I would need to open up my mouth and ask some people to refrain from doing some stuff.

I obviously don't listen to some people, when they ask me to stop doing some things. I don't mind talking about it and continue to do it which probably bugs the heck out of some people who would wish I could stop. I usually end up sticking to what I want to do and not really being bothered by them in the end, so it's up to the person to make the call about what my personality is like even if I'm going to be full-throttle persuasive against the other person's wishes. I tend to be very passionate about my mannerisms which probably hurts a lot of people in different ways. If other people were doing stuff that I didn't like, I just pretty much learn to forgive them and still deal with them. Some people really have a hard time doing the right thing and place being apprehensive above the ability to love the person directly first. I know this first hand because yeah, face it some people over at Hope of God Church in L.A. acted this way- I'm calling them out because I'm trying to be really honest now. It's technically not disparaging them or chastising them even though it feels good for me to write about them- I'm just being honest about their mannerisms and think it's appropriate to let it out and make the public aware about it. These people who acted really peculiar even though I'm saying they're not weird because I'm inspired to try not say anything bad about them are the ones I mentioned in my past posts. 

Besides, I'm about keeping it straight forward and appropriate with my language and actions anyway. Sometimes, people just feel uncomfortable with some of the weird things I do and want me to stop doing them. I don't really want to stop sometimes and I talk about it which makes them go crazy and angry with me, but I'm not bothered by them. The ones who can't really deal with these things are the ones who are having at least a little trouble succeeding with something in their lives right now- I believe I can make this judgment pretty honestly based on how I struggled with it too.

Let's see my weight was down this week, but looks like I gained back about 4 pounds again. Oh well, I just need to keep working out to the best of my ability everyday. I was really sore, so I slowed down quite a bit in my work out session. I just need to keep trying and giving it my all and just stay healthy, well-rested, and content while working out. I'm also in this whole money-making game right now and so far, it's been quite a rush. I need to get a photo taken for renewing my passport- I will be going to Korea just like the other million people who travel there every year; the north side isn't open yet and I'm hoping as a Korean American citizen, Korea will unite into one country someday. My parents want to take my little sibling and me to China to, but I feel reluctant going there being a Communist country and also hearing some stories about fellow Chinese cheating other Chinese by taking away their lives just to make an extra buck. We'll be traveling in a tour group, but I don't really want to trust other Chinese who live there anymore. I mean I have some really good Chinese buddies- very good guys underneath but still I'm not into this whole traveling to China craze right now.

I can't really cover everything I learned with my business because I sort of want to be secretive about it. It's like I'm getting access to people who claim they want to help, but do they really? If I were to gain this edge, do I really want to share this knowledge when I could reap all the benefits for myself and loved ones? There's some information that people can use to get an edge, but for right now I want to hold off with everything good that's been working for me because I need to get somewhere before I find myself complacent and willing to share to keep myself on my toes again.

There Is No Free Lunch

Once one gets informed about something, it's up to the person to make the decision about something. In general, I haven't really been doing some pragmatic things and probably been wasting about a good portion of about four hours daily doing something sedentary. I guess I really shouldn't dwell into it anymore now, since I'm made more aware of my personal surroundings now.

I can lead now in just about anything I'm given the green light for. I mainly need someone to help me out a bit with the brain and leg work and pretty much if I can get all this proper information, I'll happily make an informed decision. I'm excited because over the little things, I realize people's faults and how I could also lead a few people who were just pestering me to change in the past- it's like I can come up to them now and lead them, if I really wanted to.

I guess I'm still looking to break the ice with this whole reading for long periods of time sort of deal. On the good side, I am getting to exercise daily by at least doing some running and regulating my weight a great deal- eventually, I would like to turn into a strength and endurance competitor which would be pretty fun to participate in. I also need to get a new passport and yes, I'm not a criminal or crazy person because I'm going to be issued a new one.  I'm going to go to school to also work with crazy people because I hear there's a shortage of mental health workers right now and a pretty good opportunity in this medical industry. Therefore, if someone thinks I'm crazy, just let him or her know that I'm going to be working with crazy people at a mental hospital and maybe, I might be able to spot some similar characteristics that make the other person whose accusing me crazy.

Let's see, the only significant reading I'm really doing is reading the Bible for about 15 minutes a day. I think I'm just going to open up a book and just look at the pages and read through it patiently. I believe that if I can do this habit and stay motivated to do some of the hard stuff, then I might be able to succeed with where I want to be now. I still entrust myself to do some chores around the house- not really asked or given allowance but I guess I just do it because I want to now. More and more, I'm feeling independent from people and I guess it's a good thing since I'm a guy; it also means I'm looking at the big picture, long term situation, and how lucky I am to be a part of something.

Game Time

Imagine treating life is like an exciting game, if one can put all his or her effort into it. Let's pick out an aggressive man's game to relate with life- tackle football. Failure is not an option! It's all about making plans to protect the quarterback and creating the most powerful offense in the universe. In addition, in this game we also get to have fans cheering us on. It sounds very fun doesn't it to play? Guess who gets to be the M.V.P. of the whole game if your team wins, it's you the quarterback.

Here's the arsenal of plays I have- the time limit will be say 90 days. It's not too little and not too long for doing life changing actions! I need to simplify my goals of what's it going to be. By the way, I thank the Internet for being my fans because I believe that surfers on the Internet reading this blog page are very understanding and just the coolest of them all. I don't care what background you have- just thank you for being alive!

Let's do something fun- I'm going to treat a lady whose a little younger than me and is Korean in the next 90 days by asking any girl whose like that until she accepts. I'm just going to say I just want to hang out and treat her out because I just want to do something like that. If I fail to go out like this with just one age requirement fulfilling Korean lady in 90 days, I will just write a cheesy pick-up line on my Facebook page to encourage myself that I'm not alone in this world of failures.

Here's my next goal in the next 90 days, I'm going to have enough money to go treat out a slightly younger Korean girl than me. Here's my next goal- I'm going to spend some time reading no matter how boring it feels or if I fall asleep at my desk or just don't pay attention to the material I'm trying to read up on. Here's my practical goal- I'm going to do enough running, sit-ups, and pushups in the next 90 days. In the next 90 days, I will acquire a new exercising bike or else at the end if I don't get one, I'll just write an essay why I couldn't get one and publish it for everyone to see.

It's game time! Here's the kick-off, looks like the ball dropped at the 1 yard line and now I have to play there as the quarterback. Oh man, I avoided a sack and threw the ball out of bounds. It's really early in the game- okay I see the defense playing deep for some reason because they're expecting me to throw again. I'm going to run this next play for better fielding. I'm going out for a jog right now, which is part of my playbook.  

How To Get A Guaranteed Job

I learned something valuable in getting a job. First of all, if a person can avoid placing him or herself out of any student debt (directly or indirectly related) or gets out of one first then it becomes like graduating into the big leagues.

There's something really good that has come out for future vocational or college students. The Department of Education has mandated that all secondary schools publish a "Gainful Employment Disclosure" which pretty much lists how many people graduated on time, are attending the school, how many currently have student loans, and quite possibly the job placement rate. This new rule really helps out anybody whose really looking to get started in the job field and helps to filter out other schools who want to act like just taking your money. A lot of "For profit" schools were against this measure because it can cause their schools to lose financial aid for future students and as a result lose more enrollment- they just want to be in existence and sort of act like they don't really care about the future success of their students. 

In general, if a job placement rate is pretty high then most likely, the person who graduates from that program is going to have him or herself a job. Secondly, it's important to stay committed in the field a person gets into or until the loans get paid off if ever imposed. It's just very reasonable to research on what the job is like and know the ins and outs of it before joining. Taking a gamble with some job that promises future success is pretty flimsy, if one doesn't know enough about the field.

It's going to be important to research on the field- the things that matter to you the most. For myself, I look for how the hours have to be worked, the government's projected rate of job openings, the likely pay, and job description is something I really want to handle. Don't ever assume the job is going to be perfect, which was my mistake in the beginning of going after something I ended up regretting.

I Totally See It Now

According to Wikipedia, the pit bull has a bite, hold, and shake mechanism which has caused some dog bite related fatalities. Because of its reputation for engaged vicious attacks, some states and parts of Canada have set legislative limits on pet owners who have a pit bull. Despite its negative appeal, it can easily be exemplar in characterizing the possession of an indomitable spirit. Therefore, I believe the insignia of a pit bull could be a great inspiration for a soldier, boxer, football player, or anybody who holds a belligerent profession.

My brain waves are all of a sudden working on me right now- this is most likely a good sign of my well-being. This is something I noticed this morning that is going to be so pivotal in my walk of construing some people I've been forced to reckoned with.

Pretty much, I work hard and am really happy with the hard work that I'm putting in. Everyday, I'm just so happy from being to give it my all with something that I want to do. Therefore, whatever negative stuff that some people want to say pertaining to me doesn't really affect me. I know some people who are like- oh, you are so crazy; you need to be admitted into some psychological rehab. If I'm super happy from the hard work I'm doing and making good money and happily married to a beautiful wife with some pretty nice children of my own and a nice home, then what these people are saying is pretty much not true. Therefore, it's a myth for the very few people I've come to see with my pair of eyes who have claimed that I need to get some psychiatric help.

I've managed to get along nicely with a person who told me I needed to get help at one point- she told me that me being a part of it would be a waste of time; this is my younger sibling whose still a complicated girl to me sometimes. I have at one point of my life made her feel like I was giving her a hard time by just saying "Hi" to her, which is pretty funny. I'm also doing well with my oldest friend who thought I was crazy at one point- he's actually a good guy but misconstrued by others because of his demeanor but he works hard on occasion, so he's well-deserving during those times.

The people who have stated that I'm crazy enough to get help is this one guy I'll call Officer Chum Chum Chung Li Hi Ya! Officer Chum Chum Chung Li Hi Ya had some major homosexual issues with me because he was like why am I chasing after a girl so badly who doesn't like me, when I have my eyes on the prize which is him. What a douche bag, sorry. The person who also thought I needed help was Betty, but she's like quiet with me now whenever I open up my mouth with her for some reason; oh yeah, I did write that I liked her at one point in my lifetime. Betty may be uncool sometimes, but when she's cool she gets a little feisty sometimes but it's manageable so I'll say that's what makes her cute.

Let's see the dimwitted Chris Kuch also never mentioned I needed to get some help, along with this one effeminate sounding guy named Golf- man, I don't think he can hit that far with a golf club but that's his name he goes by. Let's see the pastor who looked like he was going through a mid-life crisis who said that I was scaring his sheep also never told me I needed to get help.

Hmm, so very few people have told me I needed to get help and by doing some extensive background check on these guys then maybe one is going to find something extremely peculiar about them. Like this one guy had a really good time with two girls at the same time- hmm, interesting and another time he bombed his car license after driving under the influence of alcohol. Spending time in jail while so drunk and tired with the bight lights on his face must have been a lot of fun and not to mention the mug shot must have come out nice. Okay, this guy really has a bad track record, so I'm not going to even mention his name even though what I'm saying about him is true. I don't even want to say it right now on this post. My dad also thinks I'm crazy at times too like I'm rebel and wants me to get help- I think his testosterone level is a little lower than it was; poor daddy, I hope he snaps out of his midlife crisis a lot sooner.

In addition, Lee told me I needed to get some help and another girl named Stephanie. That's pretty much it. Nobody really goes over to Lee's house anymore to do some Bible worship or that's what I heard from someone. Maybe, it was a temporary shut down to see if I'm really stalking her. I guess I legally didn't stalk her, so what's that make me? Not a criminal. Lee and Stephanie can continue to think I'm crazy while I'm living under so much happiness being very hard working, with a nice house, a beautiful wife and some pretty nice kids. 2 single ladies out of the at least 100,000 people I've seen with my bare eyes thinking I'm crazy while I'm living the way I currently am- hmm, I don't know how to do the math with this one. Anyone want to help me out if they catch my drift?

Who Am I Really Kidding?

I'm really somebody who can handle negativity really well in general from anybody. I'm just responding to them or supposedly bothering them which I don't really see as trying to hurt them just to humor myself. It doesn't matter if I'm not feeling confident about something or really bothered by some other incident. If I just do what I need to do, then I'm pretty much going to be fine eventually while being some sort of a leader. I feel like one of my strengths is really being able to do one-on-one interactions and building some rapport.

I feel the hardship already surrounding my life and know the humbling feeling. If I just give it my all, regardless of what I'm feeling, I'm usually fine in dealing with anything. Exhaustion, depression, fatigue, hunger, anger, passion, and anxiety are like all packed into one with me and when I just put into it all I've got, I sometimes catch the break that I was looking for. It's just being relentless and just being constant. It's okay to be a little intermittent in giving effort by trying to focus on some entertainment to relax every once in awhile. I guess it's okay to try to relax and then switch back into the work hard mode when it's time to use it again.

Even though I try to be a legally bound citizen from following those rules and regulations set out by the government, I still feel free and independent. Some guy I know who felt like I was giving him a hard time must have been going through some depression- I didn't really see it at the time. I'm now dealing with girls at my age of 28, which is actually sort of nice for a change. I'm a really short man, around 5' 4" even though I smile and tell people I'm 5' 3".  Now that I think about it, it was pretty cool for that one guy who could be diagnosed with being clinically depressed to try to legally represent me as a really fat guy who weighed 200 pounds and was only 5' 1". Yeah, I would use that weight to sit on top of him like an immature jerk! I honestly wish my body was about at least proportionately 6 inches taller, which is the only physical thing I would change about myself. One of my tall friends wished that he could transfer over some of his height to appease me. Despite this real difficulty in learning to just deal, I'm reminded how to put in the hard work and energy to get something jocular done dealing with others who really aren't all that great in actuality. There can really be only like one person at the top with anything to be considered great and the likelihood of me finding that person is picayune. More or less, it's pretty safe to assume that no one is really that awesome in this world including myself.

Stuff To Do While Bored

I think it's common for people to be bored at their job, especially if it's not really that competitive. One of the hardest things to do for me is admitting my faults when I know for sure that what I did was wrong and feel that it also casts a negative image to me when I think it through about this condition happening to others. It's been hard, depressing, and just infuriating but no one really asks him or herself to be around misfortune all the rest of the days. 

One thing that I lacked in the past but I now do have is taking initiative to be responsive to a situation and to play dirty about it now, if necessary. Another hard thing for me to do is just sitting around waiting for that moment of opportunity to rise up, while I'm just sulking about a lot of anger. However, I'm through all this and don't feel that much badgered about it anymore. For any reason, as long as I put effort to be in control of myself with whatever thing that was bothering me and put my heart into it, there's like something out there lending me a hand to get through any situation that seems dire for me.

Man, I'm Prepared For Life

Wherever I want to stick my nose into and whatever situation I'm dealing with, it doesn't matter how people behave with me because eventually I'm going to get what I want out of them. After all, all the significant people who counted the most never really did anything harmful to me anyway. Living in a pretty democratic state of California, a lot of weird stuff can happen to people anyway and it just goes to show that some people can't be pleased no matter what they ask you to do for them, so you sometimes need to take charge and inform them what would be best for them and to be patient with them in a loving sense. After all, their initial responses may be vile but when you take some time out with them and just do your thing with some form of love, then they all are going to recant what they feel about you while others see them as really bad people. This is only if you apply ethics very properly and seriously have the right convictions at the right moment of space and time. I seem to have a knack for this, when I'm backed up a wall or like a wounded tiger. This is something that I have to thank God for personally because all the situations I've been in have turned out to be quite fortuitous on my end by trying to wholeheartedly adhere to the uncompromising principles found in the Holy Bible.

On a technical basis, I've never really been sued for any resources nor been convicted and fingerprinted at a police station, so I've been really lucky in that sense. I'm like one of those people who get really close to being in deep trouble sometimes, but then I manage to find my way out of it and still become a very happy camper. I guess the moments of time where I feel disconcerting about stuff and then just make a decisive act on a whiff of confidence, more often than not, I catch my selfish pretenses sometimes and the other person doesn't seem to notice them; furthermore, putting myself in self-adjustment mode, if I make a really horrible mistake which I feel apprehensive about and not really show it to the person I'm dealing with, it becomes dismissed but I wouldn't try to rely on this on a regular basis. Sometimes, being quirky is needed to be successful at something, but then again, make sure it's playing for all the marbles and that it will makes others and yourself happy around you. You'll make some fans, if you can get to that level of focus and dedication with just about anything.  However, my hope is that it's not something illicit that the person ends up doing.

It's probably best to steer clear of unnecessary, dissenting people who try to mess up your chi even if the person is your own parent. What's important is to have an unwavering mind with what you want to commit yourself to and no matter how foolish it appears to others, it's what your intent is as long as it's purely good (and yes, it exists under everybody's noses) and that how others put these negative thoughts on you and waste their time thinking and talking about you in the weirdest sense. They really can't do much to you if you think about it, and seriously having stronger words to counter them and having more stronger feelings by how you act with them to potentially hurt them will really deter them from anything with you. Don't be fearful of some people, who really aren't that close to you anyway. However, I'm someone to be feared in a good way, so if you're going out to pursue or do some hunting like players do, be sure to wise up on some street smarts and to have some enjoyment out of it because a lot of people are going to need to be schooled and be sure to give them a little knack of love to avoid any shoot-outs like that are found in some action movies. Keep it peaceful, incredibly smart and sexy, and productive- I'm actually at this point of stage in my life that I am doing this already. It doesn't matter if you or me are not that good looking or incredibly short or even weigh a ton while sitting on a wheelchair- you can still act and do something that is really sexy. The opposition can't hold me down; whatever they throw at me isn't going to work. They are forced to abdicate their high horse. 

Cleaning Up Game Addiction

An 83-year old former president of Egypt, Mubarak is put on trial for accusations of corruption and killing protesters while on a hospital bed. A high school football coach in Texas passed away in practice due to extreme heat conditions. Bus passengers die in Zimbabwe after a crash. Today is the birthday of Tony Bennett and Martha Stewart.

Today is an interesting day, indeed. I feel really audacious enough to let go of what I have been normally accustomed to which is playing video games like a drug addict hooked on steroids! It's been sort of like my security blanket all these years to alleviate the moments I felt I couldn't help being in solitude. Now that I pretty much covered the main games I associated myself with on this computer, I don't really feel like playing them anymore because I had this need of being ostentatious about beating everybody at a silly game. It just burned so much of my time away and was just so disregarding and precarious about meeting other pragmatic demands.

Doing the stuff I mentioned while being a kid is great! I'm now getting close to becoming an overgrown adult who hasn't done much, so I really have to refocus myself on obtaining some other needs now. For some reason, I looked up online to check to see if there were any sinecure jobs out there but none came to be of avail. I have really made up my mind to make a career out of working with computers because I get this sense of satisfaction out of it, even though I feel like everybody else already has the knowledge that I have. I can do some basic programming on a computer using Java and C++ which my degree taught me; yet, it's not really enough training to convince any employers to hire me on the spot for a very responsible position because they would like to see that I held my ground really well in a position related to it- it's all office politics and unfortunately, I'm one of those victims who fell into a grinder and have had trouble trying to get out of it. There is a source that is taking people into a menial I.T. position and is deterring for lots of people, but it's nonetheless I.T. and if it's going to relocate me to hot and a humid desert somewhere in Africa while being secluded with unfamiliar people for a couple years, then well I'm willing to live up to the challenge with it now. I don't mind being haled into starting out rough to pursue after something idealistic, even if I just want a position that's idyllic.

I now have a newfound interest with reading stuff. I never thought learning new vocabulary could also feel so auspicious. Reading books have felt ominous but if I use my imagination, it's like playing a video game for a long time just that I'm trying to have fun doing something that could be practical. Honestly, there's a lot of virile stuff I would rather focus but if I'm going to be sidelined for awhile, I might as well accept this foreshadowing of myself.