Making Reasonable Sense

This is what I really want to do. First of all, I really want to become a strong software engineer and be able to make a nice living off of it from making passive income. Secondly, I want to earn more passive income from trading Forex. I want these two to be my main source of income and other than that, from being competitive, I'm going to give it the best I can with other relatable things and just accept the outcome even if it's negative. I'll just learn from what I can to make adjustments and move on. As long as I can afford the mishap, I'll still manage even if it hurts my pride a little. I'll just try to learn from my mistakes by trial and error and hopefully, I'll reach the top someday. If not, then hopefully I'll be lucky enough from all the hard work I tried putting in to make a good enough standing.

I'm choosing to now keep myself from dwelling about negative things and moving on from them while going after increasing my personal confidence with doing the things I want to do and try to still have fun, even if it's so hard. Now that I have my plans for making a living, I want to also on the side pick up on cooking and get back to working out for getting a sexy body that most adults admire. This is just based on my interests and not about picking up girls anymore. Well, it is in that I only want to lift my confidence to approach the single ladies I'm interested in and ask them out. I'm also a really outgoing person and will stick to making plans for that.

Setting Goals

I think with anything that's interesting, there's sometimes going to be days that just feel a little off because of anything that's stressing you out. It's nice to limit these as much as possible while not really placing emphasis on the stress itself, but more about keeping up with hard work and self-confidence while still being a nice person. I'm making this assessment from how I think a few people took things too far with me. It's a lost cause but not entirely a done deal because I'm so easy going that it's fixable to my eyes, but I'm not so sure it would be for them. In the meantime though, I want to keep on focusing with building my personal confidence from having really high personal standards.

I normally don't write on the weekends but today is a special day I guess to be spending some time on here to do a bit of self-reflection. Some things are just out of your control even if you put in your best effort, so it's best to look to turn the page and keep on making adjustments to become more successful again. It might take longer sometimes or just maybe there's satisfaction with where you are at already that you wouldn't have to go for something more.

It would be quite dumb to desire something more and then pass the time with something else, unless doing the later option becomes more worthwhile to you. It looks like with my emotions, it's sometimes going to feel like wearing me out or stressful but something that I'm learning to accept while continuously striving to push through. It's pretty much grinding for something that you are really interested in and actually makes you feel fully satisfied. I have actually found what I want to work on and so grinding away I will do while taking advantage of this privilege with having time to work on myself.

Going After Discipline

Knowing what I want, I think my entertainment should really be the things I end up working for. This being said, I might as well just pursue after the things I'm interested in no matter how hard it is. If I don't end up winning it all, then at least all I can give is my very best and at least look for making a good living off of it. It's nice to be doing things out of enjoyment, so this means that I'm going to have to sacrifice some things I like to do on my own time to go after reaching my goals. It's not really a bad thing either and shouldn't be scary at all even if it feels like it's going to wear me out.

I don't think there's really anything to it but to just grind away sometimes and put in a lot of effort to enjoy what I want to work on. This being said, I have settled my life on my few things. I am looking for a gorgeous and wonderful single woman who shares similar levels of sexual and romantic attraction with me to settle down with someday. I don't really know how to go about it with finding her and at a total loss right now.

In the meantime, I'm just going to work on building my confidence level while exercising self-control and decency and lots of hard work. It's pretty much going to be grinding away while working to keep my self-confidence high with the main things I want to work on. If I don't get there, then it's not the end of the world for me. I'm going to have to then look around to find some help while accepting things don't always go your way.

Specializing On Utilizing Time

I think it's a blessing with the amount of resources that are available at our finger tips. We can just keep on pursuing and typing for things we are interested in finding out about on the Internet. It's really convenient and all bunched together on the desktop. You don't have to drive to places or call up people which would take up some down time. It's so nice to have in-demand services available today and well worth it to even pay for it!

I'm a little different in that I look for free stuff to take advantage of all the time and like to base it off of people who expose themselves to charity even if it was inadvertent. There hasn't been very bad consequences from what I know about yet from taking this approach so I'm not relenting from it anytime soon!

Moving Forward

I think it really does come down to legit confidence and going for what you want while being in self-control and exercising morality regularly. I might as well go about developing myself more. I truly want to be in worship of the Lord and base my life off of His teachings in the Bible. A lot of dealing with people is that they can sometimes be a little in the flesh, and looking back, it's probably not a big deal but it's definitely a problem if there's something they can't still be totally relaxed about. It's really important to be able to discern these situations and not be so worked up about it. It can still be a lot of fun schooling them while having a cool head on your shoulders. I'm totally ready to get back to that figurative arena and contend to vanquish my opponents, even if they team up against me. I'm pretty much a natural at dealing with this and it's only my personal confidence that I have to keep on developing.

In the meantime, my life's purpose is about getting to learn more about the Bible and keep on staying in worship with the Lord 24/7 and to make myself more confident by becoming successful at doing things I want to do and are permissible. If I can get away with it while not being a jerk to someone else, then might as well take advantage of it if I want to. Honestly, there's a way to get around with finding free entertainment these days even though it lessens the pay for those working in those fields. There has to be a balance at some point, but I'm sure that common people don't really care about putting in that little extra hassle to keep things free and will pay for it with some decency if they are able to while being interested in the product. It's a nice business to be a big player in any market.

Figuring Stuff Out

Yesterday, I intended on going to work out right after my food digested from having dinner. Instead, I ended up knocking out after 30 minutes. I think what's really causing this is from sleeping late the night before and my body needing to catch up on sleep. It looks like I'm really going to have to put in a bit more effort to stay up by maybe drinking some coffee.

I think it's from being really sleepy and tired that I need to keep on pushing myself. I really would like to work on myself more so I could have this confidence to ask out single ladies I feel somewhat attracted to now. There really are four different areas that a guy who is having trouble getting a girlfriend should work on: appearance, manners, security, and being pleasurable.

On top of that, it's also about being able to move on and still staying confident if the girl ends up rejecting. I say that it's better to ask than not let it out and should be done if the guy finds out she's single, is attracted to her, and really confident with himself. 

Finding the Right Life Partner

It's starting to make a lot of sense, and it just comes from asking out a person you are really interested in. I'm just going to be honest about my dating life. There is a smoking attractive lady who I get along really well with and she clearly likes me and I'm cool with it. Back then, she wasn't single though so it didn't cross my mind to try to ask her out even though I developed a crush on her. It then numbed itself out over the months and years I hung out with her and we're just good friends. When she broke up, I didn't know about it and she scandalously announced we were going out on a date on my birthday. I was like, you got to be joking underneath but that's how life is. She's getting married to another and I honestly don't mind to be honest while always getting a nice laugh out of it privately. She's still an awesome person and friend and I think our relationship transcends beyond a sexual relationship, but I doubt we're soul mates. 

I think the biggest mistake with finding the right partner for a guy being attracted to a single lady is not asking her out. Holding back isn't right and also it's important to respect her personal decision even if it's doomed. It's better to get it out of the way and move on. I guess if this feeling of uneasiness is happening then maybe she isn't going to be the right person or there's something you need to work on with yourself.

My mistake is that with that old crowd, they were pretty stupid and crazy about stuff that didn't pertain to them and blamed me for it without a good cause. They just let their angry emotions get the best of them and failed to get their point across. I'm still going strong, but I have better things to work on so I'm happy to push it away or procrastinate on dealing with it now. It dealt with some ladies who I was attracted to but I couldn't ask them out. One of them was open to it and I was dumb to realize it from being in a bad mood with her having yelled at me just one time! Man, I was so childish about it and it's my mistake and maybe we could have something much more beautiful if we worked on it. It's just what could have happened from speculating and it's better to think positively so when the next opportunity comes along, you won't miss it and put in more effort to get the coveted devotion of a sexy lady!

So I'm basically saying it's wrong for an available and confident guy to like a single lady and not ask her out for a relationship. On contrast, there's this single girl I'm close friends with and is almost like family to me and who has a sexy feature on her that gets me all the time. It's just that I find her to be too weird and how I can settle for just being good friends. It's not that hard and can be a lot of fun. I have messed around with her by trying to flirt with her and it added much more frustrations that we ended up moving on from. The next step is to be diligent about making myself this confident and available guy. 

Pushing Forward

Well, I guess since today is a Monday and last night was pretty much having a lot of fun staying up to play video games with friends, today I feel a little hung over with having to work. Yet, I feel like refocusing my efforts and taking advantage of this wonderful opportunity to grow in my knowledge and experience with being a professional software engineer and developer.

I would really like to have a blast making a lot of money and also doing the same while relaxing with a hot body and enjoying being married to a hot lady who is well-attracted to me and wants to do it a lot. Yes, it would be an awesome life!

It's pretty much going to take hard work and self-control, but I find that personally seeking after the Lord by trying to listen and understand the Bible daily is part of that necessity. It isn't easy sometimes, but now I'm just tuning into it by default and accepting that even when I'm in that state of zoning out and imagining different things and unable to hear the Lord's wisdom, I still want to very much obtain it even if I can't listen to it then. I'm just going to have to put in more effort then.

I'm not going for becoming a preacher or teacher of some sort. I just want to know enough so I can be confident with what I need to do to live for Christ based on his teachings and also to have good reference to how I should conduct myself from countlessly listening to the whole Old Testament. Jesus does sum it up to love the Lord with all your mind, heart, and soul and then to secondly love others as yourself. (Matthew 22:37-40) Jesus will recognize his sheep by those who listen to him, and this happens from studying the Bible. (John 10:27) Matthew 4:4 says that man shall not live by bread alone but from every word that comes from God.

What's so nice about these Bible verses is that I don't even know where they are at but it's nice to have Google search bring it up so quickly for me. I don't think it's really necessary anymore to know exact verse numbers but to just recall the Bible content. It's really helpful for me in that I'm just listening to the Bible instead of reading it and it just makes it more convenient to be around God's Word while I'm driving through traffic each morning and late afternoon.

Interesting Observations

Out of all the bloggers being hosted and who classify themselves with a Computer Science occupation, I don't think there's too many people who even have an incentive to do what I've done all these years consistently. It feels pretty good in a way, like I have my own place to write confidently and even give myself a little push to get started on something good.

In a way, I feel like I'm getting my own silent acknowledgement by seeing that reads tally up. I'm accustomed to seeing like ten reads on average per post. Some of my posts have a lot more from being a lot funnier than normal or even have material that might cater to some picky readers, but I'm overall just a pretty smart dude who feels like writing sometimes about anything on his mind.

The reason why I gave myself the author name #1 on Computer Science Occupations is because it would be funny for someone to look at the link above to check out other inactive bloggers and see me on the first spot. I check it out daily and hopefully there will be a funny girl coming around to share her thoughts, so I can be like "Yes!" There was a depressed girl who expressed herself with suicidal intent, and I used to be the only one to comment on there. She stopped responding to me because I think I never asked for her response in the first place. I was just like an audience member who always left a brief review. She was talking about relationships and breakups and things just going south for her. She's on hiatus now and hopefully she's still alive and giving herself the right therapy.

It's interesting in a sense that if you click on a profile and go up to a more common category like Science then I'll be listed more towards the middle. I don't think the ranking system has that much preference with who gets the top spot. It's probably more based on the latest post from any user because I might still not get enough visitors to be attractive to the ranker, or it's just designed to be like that.

Still I see myself as the unofficially recognized #1 blog poster on my subcategory of Computer Science. I'm really talking more about life itself and just trying to boast about being so interested in software engineering which is a cool field of CS.

Spending Time Effectively

I know I have the potential now to rip a hole out of someone's wall figuratively speaking and end up conquering them in the end because of the matter being so stupid while focusing all of the energy on them and practicing self-control. I'm a natural at this stuff and it's just whatever to keep myself moving in the end. It's just that it's not worth my time to really think about it right now. I have a better thing to do that surpasses all of this crazy junk from my past. It's all about going after building my personal confidence while worshipping the Lord.

I'm just writing things on repeat and I have a tendency to do this, but I'm just practicing it just to reaffirm myself. I'm seriously going after becoming a good software engineer and making some money off of investing right now and listening to the Bible, while trying to live extremely healthy and going after cooking and spending time with close friends during the weekends. The time to get married will be when I move out of my parent's house and into my own. I'm ready for this day to arrive! In the meantime, I'm going to figure out how I can start lifting some weights because I do want to get medium buff while being ripped. I might as well do some growing taller exercises too for practicing better posture so I don't feel like I'm shrinking to counteract the heavy lifting I do and not feel like a contradictory shorty. It is what it is, I really don't care what anybody thinks in that area and I will argue about it until I can't anymore and then go at it again the next day. It means I'm hopelessly lost in my train of thought if anyone thinks it's that bad to do a few more exercises because it's just perceived to be magical for boosting my morale.

I doubt I'm going to get too many oppositions with my style of arguing. I'm going to go at it with more vigilance!

Letting Dumb Stuff Go And Focusing Better

I figure that the past dealing with some crazy downers was really dumb, and I should have taken care of it. Should have and could have but I didn't even though I tried unsuccessfully and failed dramatically to the point that still nothing happened to me. It's a lost cause, so time to move on and whenever the opportunity arises again next time, it's just going in for a routine kill.

I'm still discussing about it and fighting these inner urges underneath but it can be healthy in that being aware of it, I get to control it and go back to being happy again. It's dumb stuff and a lost cause, so the solution to all of this negativity for me is to go after building my confidence while trying to continuously worship the Lord.

I really could utilize my time better and improve upon not leaving anything out while being on the spot. It's really about pushing myself to get to where I want to go and working hard at it while being content about what I'm trying to do.

Summarizing What I Want To Do In Life

Keep on listening to the Bible and be able to recall the little details about it. Make a lot of money from software engineering and investing while gaining lots of free time on my hands. Get a really nice body from working out eventually. Do some gourmet and healthy cooking. Not tire out that easily. Keep on meeting good people to spend some time with. Marry a hot lady who wants to do it a lot! 

This is all hard work and I find all of it to be interesting and fun to pursue after. I need to just push myself back into this direction when I'm distracted by the little things. I should be doing okay in the end though, as long as I mean it and these are turning out to be my passions. I'm also having a lot of fun with playing the piano and trying to sing a few tunes I'm into. I am really trying to live a balanced life these days.  

Taking Care Of Priorities

I believe my main thing at this point in time of my life is to just build a whole heck of a lot of personal confidence. I want to be financially well off and also have a really nice body from working out before searching for a good lady to marry. On the side, I want to be a well-balanced individual while enjoying a few hobbies daily. I think I'm going after living a really happy and normal life while having suffered from feeling like a shorty all my life. The only answer to this problematic emotion is to keep on working harder to build personal confidence. There's no other way around it. It's really time to stop worrying about it though.

My two main goals with making money is going to be from software engineering and then investing. Eventually, I want to move on from a regular paying job and have so much free time on my hands which will be a dream come true to travel the world with a lovely girlfriend or someone I get to marry. There's just no way to get there but from working hard, and I accept the challenge. 

I've been really thinking lately about doing some healthy gourmet cooking. Along with that, I'm continuing to be pretty outgoing and looking for things to do. I guess those crazy people back then were really downers because I was really just trying to confront them about something while being nice as possible about it. They just took it so wrong from being irritated and became afraid of me from thinking about it so badly while being moody. I guess it happens and something I am aware of now and can show some compassion for.

Interesting Minor Depression

I have this image in my head ever since I was a kid of how I should be marrying a shorter lady. Because of my short height with average athletic build, I'm a little shorter than the average female I take notice of. Some ladies are super cool and in addition attractive, and I guess if a man displays enough true confidence and is a gentleman to a pretty and nice lady then it's going to be turn off the lights and get it on someday!

There are ladies who are a little taller than me or about the same height and sometimes, I feel like I'm shorter than them and it leaves me feeling like a crybaby. It's pretty funny and then when this mood bothers me, a few people end up making fun of short people to make me feel even more withdrawn about it. It doesn't happen to me so much anymore because I know the solution to deal with it.

The solution to all of this is to work even harder to build more personal confidence. I don't know how a buddy who is shorter than me doesn't let it get to him while usually in the mood for relaxing and seeking any decent lady to settle down with. He doesn't put enough work to get the hot ladies because he's already pretty content or maybe he's fine with accepting what he has going. It's interesting because he is overall a cool person, but isn't that attractive to the ladies.

Because of my attitude and willingness to focus harder than the average Joe on the long run, I'm finding that there are ladies who are into me but I'm not that into them. There are plenty of ladies who are taller than me and like me, but I don't want to really be with them still. I'm looking for someone hot and is physically attracted to me for who I am and then wants to do it a lot in marriage. It sounds good so I will keep rolling with it and hopefully, it won't be something I regret in the end.

Workaround Ideas

For a moment there I felt like I shot myself in the foot because I told only one person that I was going to train her if I became successful with my trading. Well, maybe I thought she was going to be my wife or girlfriend at some point but now I've changed my mind about her. Her main interests are too eccentric for me, so we've naturally settled with being close friends. I have a workaround for this and it's going to be that my training is going to be only one step to graduate it. I never told her specifically how I was going to train her, so I will sell her on this free advice of doing just one step. Step 1: become a profitable trader while starting with nothing given to you.

It is pretty much fulfilling my promise to her, and I won't look like a bad guy. She might get a good laugh or maybe on a rare situation, she will give it a serious run. Then I'm going to tell her how to manage her account so she doesn't blow it all like most traders do. That's the only advice I'm giving and then modeling all the trades is going to be her work. I can see this feasibly working out, but I don't count on it because I'm going to use every dark and negative facts I know about the market to sell on her that it might not be for her.

Working At Minor Details

I'm still trying to focus on listening to the Bible but having a hard time even paying attention most of the time. I just tune in when I hear the verses talking about destruction and horrible times while it's just lollygagging with my own pretty thoughts. Because those destructive moments have passed long ago and I've accepted it, I can go back into lollygagging because the Bible claims to be only like 7,000 years old already put together with probably the only verifiable artifacts confirming it to be at least around 2,000 years old.

There are some cool moments in the Bible though and those I can seriously listen to over and over again. It's probably the other things that I'm trying to focus on that I'm dealing with this whole lollygagging effect. I'm still trying though and hopefully, I'll start catching the minor details that I want to know about from just listening to my well voice acted files on auto-repeat.

Seeing Some Improved Performances

I have decided to lay off of playing Poker regularly, due to the risky nature of up and down swings and how I just don't want to spend a lot of time to make some money unless it's my passion. I have found out that developing or software engineering or whatever someone wants to call it is really one of my passions. For a hobby though, maybe playing Poker while gambling chump change when I'm standing in a long line will be alright. I will just have to resist the urges of going back to playing it regularly if I have some really good successful runs. This is really deceiving in its entirety, so I will accept that win or lose, it's only for fun now because it isn't a passion.

With trading some currency, my method has started to take a noticeable turn to profiting now. I'm still making some improvements, but now I have some tools that might actually work. If this goes so well, then I'm hogging all of the hard work I put in for just myself. I'll let people know about it, but not spill any beans and if they want to work with me, then they are going to have to put in all of those tears and sweat like I did and turn good so there will be some great minds working together. I'm not going to train any person either, so that will be the challenge for him or her. If it doesn't go our way, then was just never meant to be. I might just stay quiet about it and share with good friends but not assist them with learning either because I'm looking for a brilliant mind to also work with. Besides, I won't be the one whose hurting if I'm doing so well.

Just stick to the passion and don't be greedy for money with something you don't feel comfortable about and want to entrust someone else to do the hard work for you. It isn't really an ethical model to be honest, even though I'm sure some people have tried to establish it. I've experienced doing something like this and it was very stressful being the business owner; yet, I couldn't do enough so it failed in the end. I'm not going to hustle my way and do this to people who don't know about the serious downside that could result from going into this business. No matter how good my self-made products are, I choose to work with only ethical business people who already make a nice living from being very familiar to my line of work.

Building Tolerance From Being Worn Out

I seriously have to attribute myself to having some nice mental health. I have the confidence to build tolerance while being worn out. In other cases, I will blame one of my idiot friends. He just gives up and says it's so hard and confides in me that he feels depressed. I don't know why there are dudes who are idiots like that in this world. He doesn't learn much from those experiences either; he only gives up and then avoids them while believing he's the center masterpiece in the universe when he gets over it. He says that he isn't focusing on having a family and likes to annoyingly tell me that he hopes I get a girlfriend someday! I can see how this guy isn't building tolerance from being worn out anytime soon.

Keeping in mind that it's probably best to avoid how an idiot does it, I just brought him up for something exemplary of what not to do. He's clearly confused and thinks he can make sense out of it, while being insecure and avoiding contact with all life-forms he's unfamiliar with. Boy, he's just not a great character to be around for me anymore. I'm accepting that he's not really the lucky kind either. Therefore, I'm pretty much waiting for this idiot to get a new job besides believing that he's semi-retired and feeling he's entitled to free money for the rest of his life.

I think it's just that you have to keep on pushing even through the stressful moments and feelings of being bogged down underneath. It's just a matter of continuously doing so while making the strong effort and then repeating it daily. It means that also you have to push yourself to keep on moving sometimes throughout the day.

Interesting Way To Stay Awake

Normally, I would just fall asleep while trying to do something and end up like on the couch or my desk after I regain consciousness. I found a way to prolong my hours of being awake! It's the odd method of just taking a shower. It's worked for me so far but I have yet to see if I will still fall asleep earlier after my body gains tolerance from taking a late evening shower. It's really that simple for me in that I just need to take a shower and if I really want to be up, I can add in some strong coffee while at it!

I'm going to adopt taking showers then and continuing to work on building more personal confidence. I'm just going to be weird by showing off about something that probably doesn't make any sense but would be funny regardless. I'm pretty much Anonymous Inc. here so I will liberate myself. I think because of this blog and how I was conducting myself from mainly not being sure of what I was conveying and a few people interpreting me to be crazy when it was really them who went loony, I was seeing a lot of cops regularly down my streets for awhile. It was like everyday wherever I went outside, I would notice a cop car.

This doesn't happen to me anymore, so my weird conclusion that I feel so joyful about is that the cops gave up on me. Good riddance! I believe that the person to blame is probably one of those who turned crazy with me and has connections with dispatching police officers. I mean my phone is easy to track and I never do anything naughty enough on there; otherwise, I would download cracks to hide myself and still be risking it. I think the person who did this to me is a girl who probably slept with someone after hopefully marrying and that guy helping her fell in love with her or something.

A really weird situation that I will share from my perception of not being aware of stuff is that I visited that old crazy crowd's hangout spot when they weren't around. There were so many cop cars driving around that street and like all lined up one after another! I think they have to act like they don't know me and probably most of them don't and then go following around the lead car like a drone because they were ordered to.

Getting Down To Detailed Considerations For Happiness

From having the benefit of a peace of mind and feeling confident about my mental health, I still feel lucky to have received what I wanted out of nothing from a few crazy people I ended up clashing with. In the end from them having said I was so bad and telling others that, nothing really horrible has happened to me even though it worried the few friends and acquaintances who were involved. It took awhile to build the strength I needed to get through those moments, but I'm glad to have achieved all I wanted from not having done anything!

With this peace of mind I am better equipped with now, I'm definitely saving my money from having to visit a therapist or life coach. I can see the detailed path that I want to lay myself out with. It's pretty simple and makes sense for me.

I totally and truly want to be a software engineer and have this knack for sticking to it even through moments I feel stressed out or frustrated from not getting it right then. It's still fun for me after all! I want to make a living out of using it to collect some passive income, and it's definitely very possible. Secondly, I'm slowly working at becoming an investor but I am a fan of reliable passive income and have been through some ups and downs already with trading in the highly volatile and risky currency market. It doesn't feel so jumpy to me anymore and like everything is all based on reasonable assertions and taking an accepted risk with a targeted profit that is both rewarding and reoccurring.

It's all coming together along with trying to go hit the gym while feeling tired and having more important things to do. This is the same for maintaining my ideal hygiene regime even though I can get the minimum in each day. It's also the same for wanting to cook and doing a growing taller attempt routine and make my face so much more handsome from using healthy products. It's crazy that strangers can take notice of me- a short guy with only a decent work out body. I've been complimented of my fashion and also body from working out. I have even been told I'm handsome by my mom whenever I present myself after getting a nice haircut and shaving, so I guess things will still be able to work out for me in the end. Lastly, I have to mention that a lot of times, all of these things can feel like a hassle so I need to push myself to get into doing them. I think it's just a daily reminder that I should as long as I feel satisfied from having done them.