Brutal Confession (Effects on Pornography)

Pornography is an issue that I have struggled with in the past. I am currently recovering from this addiction and luckily, I never came to a relationship with a woman and invaded her special territory. I have to assume all the guilt for piquing my sexual desire even more by using a medium, instead of allowing it to flow naturally. This causes me to in a way get neutered with the thought of finding a decent woman to carry a long-term relationship with.

In a way, masturbating to porn reminds me of self-abuse. It's just killing the sensation that could be enjoyed with a loving wife. The Bible states to avoid fornication, and I think it's not that God does not want us to please ourselves, it's more about a genuine protection. It really protects us by giving us time to think about who we are committing to. God ideally would like for us to have one partner, just as Adam found his ideal woman out of Eve. There's an Eve to every man whose ever been interested in marriage or has a sexual liking to the opposite sex. There's definitely a danger of making your life more hectic by fooling around. Two of the most womanizers of the Bible are King David and King Solomon- father and son. They transgressed against God's command to take and marry only one wife. Genesis 2:24 says "This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." (NLT) A husband and wife's utmost devotion is a prized possession to God's eyes and places imagery on a strong relationship with Christ. I've surprised myself by finding someone whose my type. I would not want to disrupt a good relationship by deceiving it with pornographic material. I don't mind the idea of working out and increasing stamina for anticipated sex life. According to Apostle Paul, little profit is gained from exercise!

Porn just gets you feeling down on yourself. The second you blow your lute, it's like the fun is over and you get down again. It's not fun to always mess around with yourself when it's repetitious and you are now conscience of all the acts. After awhile, the mellow fun just turns more gloomier and things will get harder. I've just personally had it with porn now. It's an area that I want to conquer for life. I am still like on a mission to find the most beautiful wife to enjoy sex and raise a family with. She will then be my best friend for life.

Porn in itself is really condemned by a lot of preachers. I personally want to condemn it too, but my feelings can get carried away. I want to let go of it because it's a temptation that I don't want to get too cocky with. I don't want to imagine myself sleeping around with many women and then find unwanted surprises. Some things included are AIDS, pregnancy, and moody girl to deal with. To just do it for pleasure and use a nice woman as a toy, just fills my heart with sadness. I really do not want to resist the Holy Spirit in my life. I know how society tries to help us cope with the consequences but relationships are really stemmed from genuine trust. Someone can really get hurt, if the relationship is not placed at a higher level.

Personally, I write this even though I know that I have a chance to hurt my reputation. I want to finally come clean with God by letting cyberspace be my witness. I am one of those people who want to experience an ecstatic, full meaning life. It's like the best calling you could ever get from the Creator. I know that I internalize most of my sins by not trying to get others involved with my selfishness. My own selfishness can become a snare to me and really nail my emotions. At the time of this writing, I'm in a period where I long to be in a committed relationship, have no snares that affect it, and be ecstatic about life while worshiping the Bible wholeheartedly.

Spiritual Life With Convenience of Marriage

Being more of a grownup now, I feel that I have way more privileges than I did before. With this time that's been given to me, I realize that time is too short and that life follows consequently in that path. To be able to make a spiritual connection with Jesus, it's been a very long and tough journey. It's been hard to be patient and to test some Biblical principles; it sometimes may feel like you are locked up in a religion rather than have this liberating life. The Son of God and Holy Spirit should not really come to surprise to anyone. I am sure that we have gone through some really good times that we wanted to last and were very peaceful. These things are a reminder of what is yet to come in heaven. True faith is also not meant to be blasphemous, but based on reality.

I have heard that God works a different time frame because God alone is the ruler of the universe. It sometimes gets me thinking that life's situations are things that we would like to blame on something other than ourselves. If Jesus already paid the ultimate sacrifice by being the sacrificial lamb on the cross that pours blood for all our life's sins, then why must we be still human? Heaven is marked with pure joy and happiness and even is implausible to many unbelievers. God does not force upon us the Holy Spirit, even though it can be evident at certain time periods. To be able to see it takes one to open up his or her heart to the possibility of a loving Father in heaven. This does not mean that Christians always have this arrogance about them and deal with difficult hardships without any fault. We're all human and Christians have this liberation in their souls. To be joyful, accepted by the Creator, loved and forgiven by Him, our souls have a void filled in the heavenly realms.

Briefly, I will confess a sin and give my human reasons why I should away stay from it. Apart from knowing that if one willingly repents of his sins and confesses it before the Lord, 1 John 1:9 shows us that Jesus washes away our sins and gives us a new life without constantly dwelling in a guilty conscience and to have the heart protected. I have been struggling to be patient with sexual satisfaction. To be married means to me, being an undefiled sexual partner with a lovely wife. Despite the fears and curiosity of losing my virginity, sex is ordained by God to Man as recreation, but to only be practiced in a godly marriage. To have that longing intimacy and commitment and trust in each other, is something that is not going to be found in one night stands or short-term sexual encounters. What I'm starting to realize is that a man can work up to a heightened sexual experience with his loving wife and never want to give up the attraction to an idol, such as porn, media, or other individuals. Abstaining from fornication is making a pledge to hold love in marriage with high enthusiasm! The time could definitely be right during the honeymoon.

Practicality Centered Around Human Reasoning

This title is a very general one for a very specific issue that I want to boldly address. My weaknesses have been centered around lack of discipline and inconsistency. Therefore, it fills me with nerves that cannot be explained sometimes and agitates me throughout the day. By relying on emotions, I lack a lot of knowledge, common sense, and government sometimes. I'm starting to realize that emotions do play a nice role with moral standards. It totally feels good to uphold wonderful values that have been going around since the beginning of Man. I think that sometimes we want to hold on to a few things to muster enough confidence in ourselves. Like, it gives us a reason to want to think we're better than others. What if those things you are looking for don't come to pass or another person proves how it will fail you?

Growing up from adolescence, I have a sin in my life that comes from a common, socially benign temptation compared to others; yet, Christ has shown me mercy and not put me to death through the guilt I have undergone. I still remain innocent from not having made physical contact in an intimate sense, but my spirit-filled life is always endangered. I now realize the importance of placing confidence in God, the author and finisher of our faith, according to the original Biblical text. This active faith found in transpiring reason, truths, and obedience fills the mind, heart, and soul. I now realize the joys that God has personally given me and the priorities that still are becoming more apparent. It does not really strike me as really stressful anymore, but more of an alarm or a calling in my life. Because of faith, with all of these human things that inspire goodness and encouragement I am able to put my life more on overdrive and enjoy that ideal life worth finding. Placing trust in the Lord through doubtful times and by being confident about my deflowering ability, I don't need to visit and give into these old temptations. Living life selfishly is something that I have a hard time telling myself, but I realize that desire should be centered in God's kingdom and that we need it to walk closer with the Lord. Sin may be pleasurable, but the real meat comes from accepting ourselves, not trying to sin, confessing when we do, and not torturing our personal aspirations, especially if we can conceive God in it! No need to stay stuck or rotten when something can be done to fix it.

Just A Story Part 2

One day there was this man who just felt that life was really a mixed up box of candy. What he took out would be used to bring him delight. He felt that others around him prevented him from enjoying a piece of chocolate. He was feeling a little jealous with Forrest Gump who had plenty of chocolate to eat. The man had a dream that was explained emotionally and could not be fulfilled by seeking only his own pleasures. The things he went looking for were fairly common to a man with no confidence.

One day, he felt enlivened with the thought of helping out a friend. This friend, Mikestar Vonovich Sticker, gave him a call and said an opening was available at work. He was very friendly and joyful and was like hey, you have an opportunity to kill me at work by neglecting every piece of it! So Joe here thinks about it and is like yes, I need a job and I want a place to serve someone. He worked on a cool resume to submit for the first time, even lied about having a degree, and then started examining a template that had some meaning to him. The degree part was later found by management and they were like he's not advancing without proof of that degree. That degree was what he wanted to pursue after before leaving, so the inconsistency settles in and kiss his chances of a safe career there.

Mr. Sticker had some girl problems and always led his support circle, and it was not highly evident that he was so bottled up about life. He had so many regrets that he shared with Joe, but Joe could not see through him. One day, Joe was clowning around at work and was like yes, I made an absolute strive to befriend a client who was a jerk. I should share it with Mr. Sticker. Mr. Sticker became very mad and was like no, you shouldn't do that. Joe insisted he was so happy and became flustered by his remarks. After all, Joe had done everything that he could to get up to date. Joe took advantage of the work place, and started studying for a course and eventually, Aced it!

Then one day, Mr. Sticker expressed absolute distrust with a spiritual community. The type of community that is hard to bond in with absolute shyness. It's quite frankly weird that a very friendly dude like Mr. Sticker would have some hatred and need to exalt himself by discussing these matters. Joe has been part of these gossip circles and never once lifted up his voice to tell a concern. Joe happened to be well-liked by everyone, and did not know he much he was valued. Joe just started blogging and stated jokingly, that Mr. Sticker was a crack head after trying to communicate that he wished to know how he was raised and why Mr. Sticker always seemed to be in a good mood. His father had passed away at an early age, but he had such a pretty big family; something Joe envied. Joe felt very distant from his sister. His sister lies to Joe about how they never were close and had time spent together; she feels emotionally incompetent about herself.

Mr. Sticker became very angry about the remark and started researching for details about how Joe could be a psycho-maniac out to cap everyone with a machete. Joe stated out of stress, in his own body he felt as burning buildings. The torture of school equated with September 11 attacks to Joe. Mr. Sticker took the statement out of context and started convincing his low I.Q. buddy that Joe was a terrorist and needed a restraining order. He succeeded because Joe did not want to defend himself and wanted to settle down first.

Joe later regretted not defending himself as he now knows that he never deserved one in the first place because he has rights to being a decent human being. Although Mr. Sticker felt that his life was a mess and torturous which Joe didn't pick up on, Mr. Sticker never once told him what made him scared with his angry and bitter eyes. Joe started seeking after God in life because he felt stuck, aggravated, angry at something, and in love with someone all at the same time. He experienced an ultimate high and low and eventually, confirmed that God is totally real and cannot be denied. The man pushes away God to create his own image of Him; there is an identity of God that no man can consecrate, it's like settling on a higher principle ground and guess what, God truly lives because the Old Testament of the Bible has been validated with the main message- the delivery of the Messiah speech. One can truly research on the truths of the Dead Sea Scrolls and may result in a horrific turn-around for someone who wants to keep denying for sake of his pride and turf- a man who sold his soul.

Just A Story

One day a man came to his senses and said to himself, "Boy, I have been depressed at myself for no reason." He eventually felt that life didn't matter with how his appearance was. His mom would tell him that she was continuously worried about him losing hair and getting bald. The man would be like, "Hey, I think I'm ugly naturally so why does it matter with being a dude?" The difficulty in life sometimes for this man is that he has problems settling on people's desires and wants people to change to suit his personal needs. It could in a way, mean that he wants to be served selfishly.

The man's friend just one day decided to tear his computer apart and started trash talking to the world. He was just in a fit of raging filth and had no idea why this woman in his life left him. He never really had a chance to bed her, while he was married to her. Even after exchanging their dues, the couple never interlocked lips. It was because he received a phone call that sent him to go desperately confirm that a lost cow was now in the stomach of a jailed thief.

And then the story goes that they decided to meet Jesus in their hearts. The best thing to have ever happened to them, despite all the miserable things that can occur. Life sometimes feel unfair, and it may be that a person's true desire may never be met in this world, out of having committed sins. It's a tough journey with the walk, and when our hearts are closed we just can't see anything. Some people are closer to the narrow path of happiness, and just happen to try to cope with the good things by trying to be positive. In a way, I think it gives a defensive mechanism. Complaining and whining to others is just a sign of weakness, especially if it's a little thing. It's my prayer that people would have a glad understanding of what Jesus has done. To be able to see how he works in the individual's life and to grow in faith. To become transformed and have a type of peace and moral prosperity that transcends human will and understanding.

Staying On Track

There are rough seasons that I believe I'm going through emotionally. I don't think that I have any struggles with depression or anything. I have been writing this blog for almost a year now pretty consistently, and I find it a little tough to pull through right now. Maybe I'm hitting a rough bump this season. I might as well visit the basics that has kept me trying to focus on God whenever I have written. The Bible tells us in 1 Cor 10:31, whether you eat or drink, whatever you do, do for the glory of God. It may feel like a plain statement that even includes our dining to focus on God. Like every area of our lives should be on track with the Lord. How then is it possible that people become Christians and remain in the Lord even through a bunch of crisis situations?

I think I have been the person who has only wanted to hear good news about people. I have never really done so well with new thoughts and burdens, except for merely existing and feeling lonely for not interacting with people, even family. All of those things are starting to change; it feels sure pretty vexing to feel sidelined at times. I think in times of boredom and blocking out priorities, we can surely get under someone's thick skin easily. I guess it's normal for close people who love you to start questioning your antics, when this happens. For a time being, I just did not want to defend myself. I just wanted all this conflict to go away. I just wanted to flap my wings and splutter and allow the Lord to intervene in my life. It's hard adjusting, but man I'm glad that my faith has not stayed put. It feels like I have the potential to imagine thousands of lives on paper. Perhaps, I should start having fun by writing imaginary stories that are dedicated to portraying human reasoning to honor God and the will of the Father with down-to-earth Biblical applications.

Short Glimpse of Transition

I believe that some of us go through a really hard time in life, such as; family issues and relationship compatibility issues. It just goes to show that living life at large may not always entail that true good feeling you were looking for. I'm pretty positive that there are some things that we just can't let go of, but may put off in times of facing hardships. To be someone who looks very closely at himself, I think some of us come to the conclusion that it's better not to judge ourselves out of fear with feeling self-pity. I am sure it's sometimes a burdensome task or rather comical thing to push out opposition that states your two cents are wrong.

Having had a little fun experience with writing all these years, I'm realizing the effects of how it's easier for me to transition with thoughts a lot quicker, egocentrically; therefore, I may feel that I'm being under self-absorption. One of the neat experiences I have had is not knowing how my writing effects others; by being so naive, I have forgotten how people can wrongly place blame on you. I recall that I did not defend myself and allowed a bewildered friend to attack me with something he held back from illustrating. It was an expression of disapproval in his life, but then later, I started defending myself after all the attacks took place. Therefore, it feels like I did everything in vain! Perhaps, there's this old guy's voice underneath me guffawing at everything that's taking place. I don't think I have the credentials to pretend to label myself as a professor anymore! God is good and loving and wishes no one would perish in this world. Read the Bible and see if God is right for you.