Social Writing

I wanted to test my writing skills by seeing how well I can communicate with it. With the lack of people I have worked with, I have come across some problems. The problems associated with me are basically frustrations from not communicating effectively at a good level. The confidence factor in me is still pretty evident with others. I think I have pretty good intentions with writing and therefore, since no one really does this what I'm doing, it must be fairly unique. The people who wrong me are basically dealing with a pretty unique, but entirely normal person. I like the factor of being normal because it causes people to really later think about their mistakes and repent. I feel that people need me to communicate with them at face value.

I will seriously try my best to incorporate talks, but I truly like to hold the best for everyone. It's like the logic is starting to pop out of my writing so evidently. People are able to analyze it and ask questions to get even more richer details. It is so good for me to voice better reasons without trying to come across as a person in need of professional help. I believe that when I write I sometimes feel empowered with what I'm doing and so it gives the reader a reason to feel victimized about something. I need to dig in and ask better questions relating to myself. I think I'm dealing with people who are going through some difficult situations and need to adopt a talking manner of reaching out to them.

Progress In Jesus Makes Perfect

There's this problem with me being so deconstructive with myself. It can annoy a lot of people when they don't understand me. I am trying the best I can to be right with everyone. I can see that there are hidden meanings in the things I'm putting down. It's the way that I think that causes this person to not understand me in any way, shape, or form. I am being revealed the way to a successful journey- it's to communicate.

Things should mainly be about God's glory. There's a purpose behind every Christian's life in what the person is doing. Maybe God is leading to a certain direction or not. The answers will sooner or later be revealed. Let me not become a cheap person, but a person who has quality and ready to socialize and be in agreement with everyone who I feel wronged by.

Gen 42-45

I skipped yesterday's reading again. I must not be refraining a bit from feeling negative on myself. There's no need to skip having fellowship with the Lord, no matter how bad you feel about the situation. Ultimately, the blame would probably be stated as me having initially done something wrong to do the person. After I explain myself and the person sees that it was a bad thing to be mad at, then I think they may feel weird about it. Genesis 45:5 says, "Don't be angry with yourselves that you did this to me, for God did it." By being a man who fears God, it allows room for compassion upon those who have trespassed us. Joseph demonstrated this humility by showing love to his brothers, even though he was feeling he had all the right to be mad at them (Gen 42:25).

It's amazing how expressing deep love and aiding a person, despite them knowing they hurt you a lot, it creates a feeling of anger within their own flesh. It's like they did all this wrong to you, and you are not trying to. The principle of showing love after being wronged to a person who deliberated on it, is a timeless classic that forms a relationship with the enemy respecting the lover. I know this because my sister has deliberately hurt me by kicking and screaming so much about how she's unreasonably happy. I have talked to her about it, and when I had the chance to deride my sister, I sometimes chose not to, out of needing to be an adult.

I like how Jacob turned out to be a well-principled man as he mellowed out in the land of Cannan. His objective was to bless his enemy only to appease them for what he felt he was burdened with. His sons caused some turmoil with Jacob with the growing pains, and maybe one turned out to be a serial killer! Overall, Jacob did not always end up bickering about his problems and place pride over himself. His heart was finding ease while fearing the Lord. Gen 43:11 says "So their father, Jacob, finally said to them, 'If it can't be avoided, then at least do this. Fill your bags with the best products of the land. Take them to the man as gifts- balm, honey, spices, myrrh, pistachio nuts, and almonds.'"

Joseph also applied a test on their brothers to remind them what they put him through. By putting them in prison, he was implicitly stating that he suffered. In our walk, we don't always have to be confrontational in our actions through our struggles. I think it's really good to let them know what they did and in a good way. For me right now, it's about communication and not always dwelling in the past frustration. I think bringing it up to talk about it is as mature as one could be. Right now, I'm dealing with a lot of frustrations in insecure people. They seem to have this persona of being someone to rely on and then they assume I went through the motion of trying to write them off in secret. The frustration may be from feeling disrespected from not knowing what I have said to them. This is seriously a sign for me to communicate more with people and let them know what I was up to.

I think it's never over to let God forgive you when you have done someone seriously wrong. You don't have to be mad at yourself and end up punishing yourself. Allow God to walk into your heart and to bring you up in humble confidence. God's son offers to save us from the burning fires of hell. (John 3:16)

Gen 37-Gen 39, 1 Ch 2:3-8

I skipped over some more chapters from not reading yesterday. I need to make it a habit to read the Word daily. I am doing this because I want to be nourished in the Spirit and receive encouragement. I know that I am not that great of a writer and that I see lots of small problems right now. I am so sensitive about them right now, but I don't want to let God stop working in my life and help me to become a better person. The story takes place with Joseph who really becomes the favorite child (Gen 37:3) and a highly blessed man (Gen 39:6).

I can really apply some principles out of these passages right now. What I see is that Joseph remained humble before the Lord's eyes and did not commit treason with the Lord's commands. Psalms 18:30 says, "God's way is perfect. All the Lord's promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to Him for protection." (NLT) Joseph was a talented individual who was envied by others and pretty much had a higher calling. Genesis 39:3 says, "Potiphar noticed this and realized that Lord was with Joseph, giving him success in everything he did." (NLT) His brothers ended up selling Joseph into slavery. And then after having some success as Potiphar's favorite slave, Joseph would wind up in prison. Sometimes, bad things happen to good people for a reason. It's really hard to always understand why situations occur that causes some people to put negligence. I think it could be from them having lack of understanding with goodness.

What I like about Joseph is that he did what he could in all his might to avoid any sexual sins. Joseph was very diligent and possessed great leadership. These traits show me that God blessed Joseph with leadership. I myself find that I am weak and feeble-minded. I do not have great qualities of being a leader. I falter with my own physical appearances. Overall, after the day is gone the light of God's grace, love, and mercy still shines upon my life. 1 Cor 13 explains that pure love does not have jealous motives. Perhaps, my reasonings are so flawed that I cause people to stumble; or maybe, just the way I am causes people to get angered. I think God might have blessed us with certain callings. These callings enable us to desire God fully. I'm not saying that our passions are always the best thing to do. We can certainly try to ignore others, which displays our own selfishness. I believe this is what I'm getting when it deals with relations with others- it's to keep trying, cut out anger, maintain regard and respect, never feel down, in self-control and be reasonable while allowing Jesus in your life.

Gen 32-Gen 35

I skipped some passages over the weekend because I kept myself occupied. I then fell short from being away with the Word. I am starting to realize with the things that I treasure need to be based on God's desires. The story leaves off with Jacob running away from his jealous brother, Esau and living with his uncle Laban. Jacob ends up becoming his uncle's servant and then marries both of the daughters for his dedication. Jacob did possess more love for Rachel rather than Leah, Laban's eldest. I recall how it must have pained Leah with the lack of attention Jacob gave her at times. Rachel and Leah were sort of both competitive with each other in the aspect of bearing children for Jacob.

After becoming a wealthy man with traveling servants and flocks, Jacob left Laban to find his own land to settle in. Jacob faced this suspense of having to face his brother again, as the family traveled across land. It's important to me how Jacob showed a lot of humility. I think humility is an aspect of showing respect for an individual. Jacob also had so much fear of being killed that he was ready to appease his enemy. I think God really leaves His mark on us when we are in devastated moments and willing to do anything to avoid conflict while humbling ourselves. God truly admires a humble person. When fear settles in through the mistakes that had occurred, a really smart person will attempt to reconcile. So I believe reconciliation is not a bad thing in general and that there's no need to keep on avoiding. God will set up the appointment, and it's just a matter of not having resentment or conceitedness with the person you are offended by.

It appears that some of Jacob's sons may not have been closely brought up in the way of the Lord. When family gets so huge, I guess it's easy to just label a child as a son or daughter and ignore things about them. I think it's easy for us to sometimes get really frustrated about bad things happening to the ones we love and try to take revenge as a result. Through the bad things happening in the world, it's rather courageous to try to stand to reason instead of resorting to hatred and bloodshed. Even while the opportunity is available, we should try to consult the Lord first before engraving our own contempt on a person who wronged us. This is an area that I thought I was strong in, but I think my immaturity showed signs of still developing and causes people to block out their rudeness that they feel were insignificant. It's rather awkward feeling burdened down by others and trying to show your full appreciation for them. I have had moments of just becoming this pained creature giving out directions to stubborn people who won't change. It's like parenting in a way and being able to see it through prayer is allowing me to repent. It's also pretty weird because I can't seem to always remember that little detail people love about me, which helps me to lead them. I guess leading others has been a little stressful for me with the amount of patience I have had in the past. The lack of confidence and knowledge through the evils of this world indicate that people who have wronged me are training in foolish things and setting themselves up for failure.

Gen 25:27-Gen 28:5

Today, I read about the life of Issac and his sons Jacob and Esau. Jacob took on the favor of his mother, Rebekah; whereas, Esau had the favor of his dad, Issac because he brought home wild game. (Gen 25:28) Esau ends up giving up his birthright to Jacob. (Gen 25:33) It looked as if Esau focused on the things of the moment, as it is for me sometimes. By focusing on the "I'm suffering now part", it could look foolish to give up all that you treasure to the wrong entity. I guess Esau did not really have so much concern about his birthright, but rather wanted focus on the pleasures of the world. It appears that Esau plots to kill Jacob out of being mad that he does not have any family inheritance to enjoy for materialistic comforts. (Gen 27:41) Back then, it must have been pretty difficult access to have warm housing, food, workers, and sanitation without it being passed down to family.

Esau did marry some women who did not turn out to be a blessing for Issac. (Gen 26:35) Perhaps, it might have been for physical attraction that he chose to marry these Canaanite women. (Gen 26:34) Holding control of those hormones to stay pure is a real challenge for a lot of guys. The Bible suggests that believers should not marry a non-Christian. It is something about the bonding of the yoke thing. I recently heard about a well-brought up American falling for a man who is a part of radical Islam. One of the main reasons to not do this is because the head of the family should have total reverence for God. Family is the basic unit of growing in love and growing up well. If a spouse becomes a Christian later he or she can be a witness to the other spouse by being a blessing. God permits marriages for unbelieving couples, but it's been told that true happiness won't be found directly in the relationship. It has to come by the true cleansing flow of the Holy Spirit through our Lord and Savior, Jesus. Salvation through Christ is a concept that is not too difficult to pick up on. It's just a matter for all of us to want to call upon his name. A lot of people seem to argue that Christianity is this biased religion that offends others by placing unfair judgment on good men and women. They seem to want to argue about mainly contradictions. Nothing could be more false with the true nature of God. All the evil in this world is attributed to Satan. He alone said that there would be no peace and destruction if Jesus would worship him. Jesus knew that if he had done it then it would result in chaos at the end because one little sinful act- like one shot of cocaine, night of losing virginity, and getting drunk could result in a life of regretting some things.

Issac truly struggled with people back in the day. (Gen 26:14) It wasn't just a pleasant trip, but God had a place for him. I think it's intended for me find my place with God and to allow Him to transform me because I want to trust in God's Word. The day is coming for me to find overflowing riches in God's kingdom. Currently, I'm blessed to be able to live a certain wealthy life to be able to have fellowship with God. I do want to learn more eventually.

Gen 25:1-26, 1 Ch 1:28-33, 34

These passages describe the first offspring of Abraham. We are told here that Abraham married a new woman and bore kids, along with his concubines. (Gen 25:1, 6) I have heard the Jewish law did decree it as permissible for a man to have concubines back then. Nowadays, it's basically a man being with only one wife who mutually love each other. I think it's pretty fair for the girl who needs all the attention she can get from her best friend. Don't you think?

Issac, Abraham's son, ends up inheriting everything Abraham had (Gen 25:11). Gen 25:6 says, "But before he died, he gave gifts to the sons of his concubines and sent them off to the east, away from Issac." (NLT) What's really neat is that Abraham confessed his sin of sleeping with other women instead of his wife and prepared for Issac to respect his bride-to-be by sending his concubines packing. This conjecture is taken from Abraham's concubines never being mentioned again with Issac in the Bible and that possibly the children were so young that the mother had to follow. Abraham took careful consideration of his son, and this shows that he loved Issac very dearly. He must have felt awkward about sensing the children would tamper with Issac, as Sarah had blamed Abraham for not having a direct son with her and feeling ridiculed about it. We reach to the period of Issac bearing two sons with his wife, Rebekah- Jacob and Esau. Jacob would turn out to be such a stubborn mouse, whereas Esau is seen as this elusive guy who focuses on the flesh by what I think hardly having any fellowship with God. The faithful God predestines Jacob to be the greater twin, even though he is younger. (Gen 25:23) Back in the day, it was the oldest son who inherited all of the father's possessions. They were born like a minute apart, imagine how Jacob desired being the oldest but only by a couple inches off.

Ishmael, a son of Abraham's concubine, is believed to be the ancestor of the Arabs and possibly results in the Muslim religion. Abraham has cross-ties with Judaism, a belief of the Jews; Christians, and Muslims. They all see Abraham as the founding father. Therefore, this is one account of God wanting to work in our lives, but how so many opt to push themselves away from the Creator in heaven. Abraham missed his wife Sarah throughout his lifetime; it's evident by how he meticulously prepared her funeral. (Gen 25:11) Recently, the old-timer, reputed, great evangelist Billy Grahm lost his wife who died of old age. He publicly announced his grief. It's something about these men of God who really love their wives and treat them with kindness and have a great relationship with them. It's by the blood of Jesus that I am called to take on humble confidence and eventually lead a marriage, as I try to make it happen.

Genesis 21:8-21 - Gen 24:1-67 - Jan 7

I am not that great of a devotional guy. Neither am I that great of a writer, neither am I this person who you should always look up to for advise. I do realize that it's about getting the heart right with God and following His principles as closely as possible. By being in prayer, it allows God to help us live our lives in accordance to His will and to be satisfied with getting the gist of life.

What I recall from reading this passage is that it talks about Abraham who was so willing to sacrifice his son to serve his God. The act of submission and no intention of defying God is unbelievable. The Bible states that God would not test us according to what we cannot handle. It's amazing how the faith element needs to be regarded in Abraham's servant. He traveled so far and was so loyal to serving Abraham's interests. This must imply that Abraham treated all of his servants with love and kindness and also brought out the best in his workers by encouraging them. Abraham had straight access to God, who gave him a great reputation. Imagine how Rebekah must have felt when she was called upon by God to marry Abraham's son, Issac.

The privileges that God gives come through our reputable hearts. How we conduct ourselves in love has a lot of meaning. Say for instance, a girl did some harmless act of wanting to ignore this guy who does not act like he likes her that much. The guy could be extremely bothered by it or not. If he's bothered by it, then maybe he must be sensitive. Anyway, my point is that being a good influence has a very good and positive impact. I see how when you are left out of the circle, which I get myself into a lot, you really need to face your demons. I guess it's just a matter of asking and receiving a reply. I really don't mind anymore because I'm dealing with people who come to church and need to profess to the Bible's teaching. Otherwise, God will deal with them, even if you did all you could to prevent stuff from happening. I guess giving it your all and praying to God is the best way to ameliorate any situation dealing with a person. I think getting all my desires out of a person may take a little time and effort. Oh well, I have to live with how me being quiet that I'm seen as not being that comfortable around others and set apart.

Writing Through...

The powers that be are referring to God's ultimate grace. I know that I have a lot of problems inside of me that want to be released. My mom has told me that some people just work out to release this tension. I think it's a totally different time for me because I need to deal with these long term annoying issues. I just can't seem to let them get off my head, unless I separate from the person.

I just need to focus on what God is doing for me. It's going to be really difficult for me to figure out where I need to go. I have so many desires dealing with people, and now I am starting to get a little offended by being wronged. I think it's just a matter of doing the right thing, no matter what has been done. I think sometimes your best friends do not always come through for you because all you really have in the end is Jesus.

I'm going to write that I know the bad things of immature people or people I'm not really in good terms with. It's just a matter for me to do things smoothly and figure out the connection for each different person. It sucks that I have to deal with these headaches. I just wish that I could do whatever I wanted that would not land me in jail and receive all the blessings. I think I surely have a lot of things to repent of still. I am working hard and not allowing others to bring me down. I think in the end it's going to wind down to prayer and finding happiness with the right desires.

Blogs are the most indirect form of writing

I think blogs are really indirect and that when it offends someone, he must be really hurting deep down inside. If he uses stuff as a threat and the judge just has to act mad with you not following the rules, I guess it's a real big boo-boo when you didn't mean for it to happen that way.

I now understand what I must do. It's really understanding the boundaries of my strengths and weaknesses and the powers that lie ahead in what I am doing. I guess writing in this type of form is really teaching me a lot because it allows me to unload all that is unnecessary.

Happy New Year

I don't really know where I am going at. I don't really want to publish all of my thoughts, out of conflicts of interest. I think I could write about normal things and literally say them out loud, but I would not feel at all that comfortable talking about all the bad things that happened to me. There is a joy in knowing a Creator who is there supporting all of my wishes. It's really a sign of how things in this world are not always as they seem.

I have always felt this toss up. Isaiah 1:18, "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool." Even though bad things happen to me and I don't go about fixing them when I could always. I sometimes see that being a good person takes a lot of humility and pain. It really hurts to just feel pain and not communicate it sometimes.