Gen 32-Gen 35

I skipped some passages over the weekend because I kept myself occupied. I then fell short from being away with the Word. I am starting to realize with the things that I treasure need to be based on God's desires. The story leaves off with Jacob running away from his jealous brother, Esau and living with his uncle Laban. Jacob ends up becoming his uncle's servant and then marries both of the daughters for his dedication. Jacob did possess more love for Rachel rather than Leah, Laban's eldest. I recall how it must have pained Leah with the lack of attention Jacob gave her at times. Rachel and Leah were sort of both competitive with each other in the aspect of bearing children for Jacob.

After becoming a wealthy man with traveling servants and flocks, Jacob left Laban to find his own land to settle in. Jacob faced this suspense of having to face his brother again, as the family traveled across land. It's important to me how Jacob showed a lot of humility. I think humility is an aspect of showing respect for an individual. Jacob also had so much fear of being killed that he was ready to appease his enemy. I think God really leaves His mark on us when we are in devastated moments and willing to do anything to avoid conflict while humbling ourselves. God truly admires a humble person. When fear settles in through the mistakes that had occurred, a really smart person will attempt to reconcile. So I believe reconciliation is not a bad thing in general and that there's no need to keep on avoiding. God will set up the appointment, and it's just a matter of not having resentment or conceitedness with the person you are offended by.

It appears that some of Jacob's sons may not have been closely brought up in the way of the Lord. When family gets so huge, I guess it's easy to just label a child as a son or daughter and ignore things about them. I think it's easy for us to sometimes get really frustrated about bad things happening to the ones we love and try to take revenge as a result. Through the bad things happening in the world, it's rather courageous to try to stand to reason instead of resorting to hatred and bloodshed. Even while the opportunity is available, we should try to consult the Lord first before engraving our own contempt on a person who wronged us. This is an area that I thought I was strong in, but I think my immaturity showed signs of still developing and causes people to block out their rudeness that they feel were insignificant. It's rather awkward feeling burdened down by others and trying to show your full appreciation for them. I have had moments of just becoming this pained creature giving out directions to stubborn people who won't change. It's like parenting in a way and being able to see it through prayer is allowing me to repent. It's also pretty weird because I can't seem to always remember that little detail people love about me, which helps me to lead them. I guess leading others has been a little stressful for me with the amount of patience I have had in the past. The lack of confidence and knowledge through the evils of this world indicate that people who have wronged me are training in foolish things and setting themselves up for failure.