I guess I have one of those heads that remember stuff people attribute as being bad because when I engaged in a few of those things, I didn't like it and pretty much, refrain from doing them on a pretty consistent basis. It's probably a rare occurrance for me to falter around other people with something I would hate doing except by myself and is seen as being pretty negative by others. The negative emotions associated with those negative events pretty much imprinted onto my large head and so it's been one of those things that I don't care to be influenced into it by some individual who thinks I should.
I understand now; I was always in a laughable situation when I was dealing with those screwed up young adults at Hope of God Church. I'm not saying they were trying to be bad morally, but their thinking was to be unaccepting of me and over something that should be relatively easy to accept. They just had some feelings they did not know how to get over; unresolved issues that just never found a fulfullment deep in their hearts. They were basing it in a very uptight manner which makes them appear basically stupid while judging it from a third person view.
It was so because even I was beating around the bush about the issue, friends and everybody who talked to me about it were agreeing that what they did was wrong. Lucky me, just that I didn't see it at the time. It's one of those situations again that gets easier when you hit the replay button after some time has passed and you're committed onto a road of success. If I even got a person who blocked me on Facebook agreeing with me with some type of good sign while communicating with him, then I guess he was agreeing with me somewhere that he was wrong too. I even had Betty Lam agreeing with me too somewhere down the line, even though she blocked me on Facebook too and was going through one of those female unawareness sessions. It's just that even though I had them agreeing- I guess I was like bloodthirsty for something very funny and disrupting to happen to them so that I could feel some sort of vengeance. I was just never satisfied with those responses which was very childish of me- I was really having a hard time refraining from feeling something very bad against them. Anyway, now that I'm seeing it I'm pretty glad that I didn't put them down or really hurt them with a malice intent.
Therefore, it's important to clear up misunderstandings because some people you know and love can be stupid sometimes. It just helps them to be more sharpened and confident about you if you can resolve something with them by being honest and in concordance with them in a relational manner. Things that you do not understand can happen, but being family and having been around doesn't mean you should be shy about not saying what you're doing to justify. It's just unfair to not listen like that anymore which they did and so they were being selfish over something stupid and caused a rift with others in the church.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
