Daily Effort

Just this morning, I was attending this morning place where there are quite a bit of other young people which dominate the place. There are probably a couple cute girls there and man they look tall. This one cute brunette girl looked really frail but when she stood it felt like she was inadvertently towering over me. It made me want to cry underneath. I then told myself repeatedly, "Effort, effort!" Afterwards, the feelings of sorrow went away. After allowing that to happen, a pretty Asian girl with an appearance I don't mind introduced herself to me before I left the building. I think she's a little bigger than me too. Oh well. One of my really young buddies said that he would be like "Forget the world" if he ended up falling in love with a taller woman and she was the same way with him!

Those feelings really feel like temporary bi-polar or something. I get it sometimes in random places when I am around really tall people. I'm recovering from realizing that I am pretty short. Okay, it makes me want to laugh now and after reading this website called something like "Short Persons Support", I don't really take my height so seriously now.

This daily effort is pretty much concentrating on the good stuff while not letting it bug me. It's something that I have been doing recently and my mood hasn't really become all bi-polar after having made this effort and letting it take place for me now. I'm now accepting this process of hard work of not letting anything bug me and being diligent with where I want to be. The short support group website has a quote that says, "It's not the size of the dreamer, but the size of the dream." In terms of dating wise, it may depress a few more short men but it seems so jocular to me. The YouTube video clip below is an illustration of how a short man can end up dating a giant female if he's into those types of women.

Fun Stuff For Me To Look Forward To

There are plenty of sport games being televised right now and it is also fun to watch my favorite teams win. Although they put up a good fight sometimes and lose really badly, I still like those teams.

Anyhow, I think fun in the weekend would amount to traveling and doing a lot of crazy fun and expensive stuff outdoors like skydiving or sailing or even windsurfing! Right now, fun for me is creating solutions to make money that would get me this millionaire playboy lifestyle that I would enjoy having.

On top of that, I don't know just lying around sometimes and watching T.V. during the weekend might be fun. I guess when I get really serious with a woman and intent on settling down with her, I'll be losing a lot more sleep during the week so I could spend time with her. I sometimes get these flashbacks where I just want to stress out, but now I'm just working hard to not let those memories get to me so I usually end up trying not to laugh out so loud now if others are around me and I get those constant reminders.

Time is such a delusion for me because sometimes I feel like I have a lot of time, but then when I immerse myself into something it feels like I ran out of time. I guess I should seriously focus on the necessities of life first for myself before going down the weekend fun path. I guess it will work as a balance for me now and that is what I will try it now.

Generalizing Good Goals

The way I want to start organizing things is to take the week seriously on pratically things and then on the weekends do really fun things or other things to get personally lost in. What I will try now to do is limit the spoils of fun I try to engage myself in and go all out during my three day weekend which pretty much ends on Monday because I work the night shift with enough sleep included!

For the week, I'm having so much fun with this whole Forex investment thing. There's so much I could try to master before going to work, but I think I should just limit the fun by letting my programmed robot do all the work for me now and to just check its progress during the weekend or as time goes. I'm going to go for creating more robust solutions during the weekend while during the week I focus on getting plenty of rest, good health, and going for a Master's in financing while taking very profitable courses that would relate to my life and career-paths.

I guess I'm not finding time to really go dating right now, but I have been meeting interesting and pretty cute females who are friendly and seem interested in talking to me as a friend.  Yeah, that's pretty cool now and with this whole girls being pretty thing, I'm starting to not really look at a girl like that because just staring down a girl's body gets pretty boring if I can't enjoy anything with the person! My mind is pretty well-trained to not let a really hot girl get the best of me now. I don't even care about a girl's appearance, but more about the person. It seems like there a lot of pretty women out there who are genuinely nice and mean to have a great relationship with her partner too. I notice it and possibly just because a girl isn't that great looking doesn't always mean that she is automatically nice too. Personality exists in everyone! I'm thinking the best woman for me would be ideally the best woman for any guy in particular, so might as well work hard to not be bothered by it or anything else now.

Future Dedication

I dedicate myself to take naps whenever I feel tired and have time to do so. I have been just all over the place and sometimes can't sleep because I work the night shift. It's a good thing that I don't have too many distractions like my supervisor does at work. He's a really good man and loves his job of producing parts to take care of my dad's company. He speaks well of my dad who suffered through a lot of the business pains.

Right now, business is thriving and my dad is able to do wonderful things for all of my co-workers. I am in the family business now too. It wasn't just handed over to me; the job wasn't even given to me- my dad had to feel like I deserved the position. When he asked me to join, I smiled and became excited to join a new field.

Some Developments Never Change For Awhile

My little sister introduced two cats into the household after being off in college. Boy, she has some personal problems of just stressing out and bickering about stuff. Maybe she could go see a psychologist to discuss some of her worries. Then again, I'm only saying that while choosing to not be bothered by anything she tells me; I guess I'm just looking for a very good solution that would work out for her which would interest me just for wanting to be a giving individual. It feels good to be an occasional giver- I'm sort of a giver in general.

One of her cats is really social and has taken a liking to me so he likes to come into my room and get this lovely attention of being around me. He just starts purring like he is conditioned to do so when I just go near him. I guess he just feels the need to socialize with the owners on a daily basis. He's just chilling on my lap right now as I write this post.

I'm starting to call those house cats my own cats too just to mess around. They are pretty funny creatures who like to do a lot of sleeping, fighting, and occasionally running around really fast. It's amazing how they don't really lose their athleticism. With my cat jumping on my lap thing, it's been going on for awhile and it's something I'm really accustomed to now.

Fully Honest, Think, and Accepting Help Theory

I think some people were just born to be greater than others from having an advantage that others diddn't. Wherever we started from and how we end up depends on circumstances. It really sucks to think about how many lives were lost during the World Wars- not to mention, how these soldiers couldn't live a fully purposeful life and had to be killed is just really tragic.

I'm now thinking that as a people, it is normal to be individualistically hazy about being fully honest about the self and portraying that to others. Basically, we need to not ourselves be deceived by some people who bother us. We also should work hard to let those bothersome thoughts not get to us and from being hard working and personally honest and not bothered, come up with a very viable solution to appease ourselves.

I'm thinking about this post applying to how should talk to the worst people on the planet imaginable for us to go talking to right now. We need to have great powers of discernment and have to really focus all of our attention while letting stuff that bothers us to not get to us. This is my thought- let's be fully honest about our feelings, let's place our thoughts on the situation at hand and be able to see the general things from the clues given to us with how the other person responds in speech or body language, and thirdly, let's accept help if it seems really viable for us and no matter how imposing others feel for us, we should not let that stress us out.

Planning Ahead

After being desensitized with this whole Facebook thing, it looks like I am attracting a few more beautiful young women to want to be friends. Yeah, I have some form of sexy appeal. Even this one cute girl was asking me for a long term relationship, she was a really aggressive part-time model who was just trying to find the man of her dreams on Facebook. She considered me a candidate and that is pretty much flattering. Not to mention, I confessed my feelings to this girl I liked and she too was flattered, so I guess that's how it goes.

One of my good buddies called me to confess my true feelings with this girl who I was bothered by for a time being. He knows her pretty well and doesn't really like her from citing concerns like her being melodramatic or just moody while dating some of the worst people you could imagine based on image alone. I guess her biological clock is ticking and she is going for what appeals to her and it must be these guys who are seen like a bunch of bad dudes hitting on her and being nice to her, must sucker her in.

I really need to think about that girl. I can easily imagine expressing passionate feelings for her but what would the result be? I want to be able to make a responsible decision and not go after something with a lot of haste. What would be wonderful though is if there was a literal stability with my life partner and after we married, things just got really fun for a very long time!

Maximizing Potential

During high school, I considerably had a time where I would hit a stroke of genius and just dive into that idea and then stir up positive emotions in others. Therefore, I was told by this guy who envied me that I had a lot of potential. He was this Korean guy who was considered to be cute and then he told me that was really jealous of me and wanted to use me!

He was a great basketball player and an awesome singer and has a really beautiful wife right now. This guy who seemed to have it all working well for him told me that he was jealous of me. I am laughing a lot while remembering it now.

People Who Bothered Me

It's pretty crazy in that I have a really high tolerance level for being around individuals who others would find very crude or annoying. The thing about me is that even though I have those feelings like others might, I don't really act on those feelings alone.

It's crazy that these people portrayed themselves selfishly or conceitedly that they were better than me and wanted to show all the ropes. They were pretty much self-righteous with me, and I guess it makes sense because these people were trying to run a church! There's a good and bad church, and the bad church will completely miss a point or not be able to understand a concept. If they said that they couldn't understand me, then they were not really inspired by their God to try to lead me in a better path. They forced themselves on me in a jaded way and now I see that they should all go see a professional and caring psychologist to help manage their angry feelings and how they act towards certain individuals.

In the show Family Guy, there was this episode where the baby Stewie and his dog Brian go into different portals and then Stewie finds that his big sister is really hot, which is a joke because she was considered to be the least good looking there too. It was funny to remember so I had to share it; they then end up in this Disney portal where everything is lively and like a fairy tale where everyone sings happy songs. When the show's loser shows up at the family's door, everyone else except the dog and baby end up violently stomping and beating up the loser to a bloody pulp. Likewise, those young church people had this messed up ideology from being self-rightous and as a result they influenced a crippling effect of low attendance. To add insult to injury, they left the church too after awhile.

Funny Result With "Betty"

The woman I wrote about Betty Lam is a real person who probably read a few of my blog posts and then became scared off from attending that odd church which made me mad! I called her up and received the usual "Stop calling me" and hanging up. One day, I left her a message and asked her "Does my height have anything to with it?" and also said "Do you want me to stop talking to you?" I called her up and she said that my height had nothing do with it even though she is a little taller than me still.

It's pretty cute what Betty went through with me. She completely lost it in her train of thought and was thinking that I am someone she can't get along with, especially after we were coexisting really well with each other. Her reason was that she couldn't understand me and so she turned that into an excuse for becoming estranged with me. That's cool, I don't harbor any bad feelings for her.

Honestly, I think no matter how annoyed a person gets with another person, she should be able to talk about the incident in a mature manner and not be so closed-minded. It lets me know that Betty had some pretty big worries that she couldn't share with everyone and how she should seek after a psychological consultation to try to manage the stressful feelings that others cause her.

Anyhow, Betty made me laugh so much when she said that she was going to change her number because of me and that's when I haven't found the interest of calling her back. It's like she would go through all that effort of affecting her life insurance business and selling herself as a really friendly and secure individual for nothing because I'm not even moving a finger to try to communicate with her now. I guess she was living a lie and not being really true to herself and could possibly use a caring professional psychologist to help her out with some personal stress management issues.

Considering Adding Good Reviews

For a person starting to become specialized in a area that would be profitable for me, I might be able to start selling good products that helped me out as well through spreading the word of mouth. Many scams capitalize on how this dream job could occur for the individual, and how easy the business would be to manage.

One of the girls I dated told me how she wants to focus on her own business and ambitions. I told her that's really good for her, and then she showed me this YouTube clip that inspires her to have a positive and diligent spirit. I totally forgot the link, but it said something like no matter how low you are brought in life, you need to pick yourself back up and try even harder to get to your personal goals.

I learned after being really naive that running a business takes a lot of effort even if you are considering being employed at your own home. By watching shows like Pawn Stars and Storage Wars, it has given me a broader perspective that there needs to be a pretty big market of interested buyers to create a business on something.

Actual Concerns of Trading Stocks

I'm sure deep down inside a lot of young people's minds they are interested in becoming successful with investments. However, the risk factor is considerably steep for the average person, so they would rather not take the gamble of losing so much money. Plus, the anxiety of not knowing how to begin day trading adds to a lot of worries. There are also those who start trading and end up losing big! They just see it as a rush to keep putting in money and trying to create a huge hit-and-run over a short period of time.

I can understand that it's a pretty huge risk to begin trading currency. It takes a lot of discipline and really knowing your stuff. What I like so much about swing trading is that it's sort of like playing poker just that you don't have to be grinding at the tables 24/7 and you can obtain a professional level of information to get a decent tap on how the market will react. I'm just in it to try to make money, so because money is so dry might as well just create a virtual set-and-go machine that will continue to work for me while I'm not at the computer. Whether I lose or win, I get to focus my time on other enriching things.

From having done it for awhile and picking up on really cool trading systems, I'm just really enthusiastic about staying in and starting out with possibly only $2000. I originally planned on rising $25000 of my life savings, but now I have reduced it to the two most favorable currency pairs that work to my favor. I don't even pay attention how the dollar is growing weaker than the Euro because my thing is on autopilot most of the time!

Proof of Profit

The graph at the bottom represents that my backtest of last year proved to be a winning strategy for this currency. I pretty much programmed from scratch a combination I thought would be a winner and it theoretically took place. I am currently in profit with demo testing this currency; I may eventually put it to the real test with possibly a $1000 account.

The great thing about this platform called MetaTrader4 is that it is able to throw in recent data from last year and fast forward to right now, while testing the logic I desire. I just put it on fast forward, so the test usually lasts about ten minutes on average. This program of mine I wrote has quite a lot of elements, so I noticed the A.I. working pretty hard crunching numbers for me.

Important To Reveal True Feelings

I'm noticing these days that what we do with our time is what pretty much makes up our being. With the things that happen for myself, it's sometimes really hard for me to let go of some things. It's pretty much unimportant to pursue for my actual level of happiness. I think I just have to learn to manage and balance my time better. I just see that there's so many things opened up for me to do and a lot of different opportunities.

I'm still facing these bored feelings of wanting to keep myself occupied. I think I need to prepare myself and to just discipline myself to get to a position I need to be in. What my friend told me in making a relationship happen with a girl is to pretty much be honest with her when you really like her and if she says "No" you just have to move on. Anyway that guy had the girl who broke his heart end up being interested in giving him a chance again. He was really shaken up for the last few years and then when this happy thing happened for him, he started becoming mellow and giving me advice about the important things in life. I hope it works out for him, but never know.

Turning On Proper Think Caps

I want to do so many things at once. I can't really put it all together and be totally satisfied with myself right now because my body just naturally finds this attraction with doing a few things to maintain myself. I'm really going to have to start this whole multi-tasking thing where I'm just focusing on one thing at a thing for a period of time. In terms of operating systems, analogously I want to use a round-robin system. Hey, I majored in Computer Science and came out with a meager 2.4 GPA and Bachelor's Degree, so might as well recall something!

I was all over the place in college, too. I was like taking 20 units and bombing a course per quarter! I would end up getting C's all over the place and with the rest of my time outside of class and doing an all-nighter to finish up my course work, I would be playing video games and screwing around with myself. Fortunately, I never got myself caught up into the idea of drinking or doing drugs. For myself, I believe that the ultimate substance of passion and energy comes from within, so I wouldn't be able to imagine myself relying on a non-human substance driven from a plant to give me sensations. I just don't copy with that feeling and it's permanent for me. All the fun comes from using myself as the main machine of creating personal sensations! Oh yeah, there's the hangovers too like being moody about stuff or anxious but working hard to get out of those things wasn't easy at first, but I managed finally.

Placing Proper Focus

About this whole money issue where I play poker to take other people's money, I'm realizing that it's a thing that I have been really ignorant over. Basically, I'm playing for my own benefit and not thinking about the misfortune of others at the table. I think that's how mostly all poker players are going to think anyway. The part that sucks the most is losing and then having to grind many hours again to break even and put in even more hours to make profit.

As a result, from the amount of experienced I have gained in playing poker, I'm pretty much a 50-50 player. I will sometimes profit and other times, I will lose but end up breaking even. The thing that I hate the most about the game is just spending all that time like you are having fun doing something and then realizing that nothing came out of it. For myself, my measuring tool is how much money I made from that session. When I lose, man I'm so spoiled because I don't want to spend more time trying to make back the profit I lost.

Overall, I'm just going to play some of it whenever I'm in the mood and not and hopefully I profit from it. I use a bank-roll management strategy where I only lose like 1% of it so that I will always be in the game. At the same time, I am so wish-washy about it. I don't really want to feel like I'm wasting my time. It's only good when I'm winning and when I'm losing, it sucks.

I have adopted an alternative to playing poker which is pretty much trading stocks. Then, I don't have to be sitting down and literally watching second-by-second my money depleting away. At least I can go do something else as a result! I really like that a lot better. Even when I'm winning money, I could still be focused on something else more worthwhile to me. Overall, poker is like a device for me to make money as a business and the game can have days where it's running slow and other times where it's running hot. Anyway, it is a pretty exciting game. See, how wish-washy I am?

Being Among Friendly People

Socializing with a bunch of great and mindful people who just want to participate in something fun and hanging out while meeting new people is just a wonderful thing! I didn't mind and was just like mindless about stuff in general and was really having fun in a genuine sense. I guess that's a good thing. I really should be careful with some people I associate with now and put a little profile on them because I'm very tolerant with annoying people in general.

I guess when things just come up in life and from starting to understand how things work in life with people in general, I'm just moving along these days and able to sort of laugh about things that happen. Man, I really hate losing at games that involve money. With all of that time spent and then you end up losing some money, it's just like you had fun but still lost and didn't make profit which was the intent and so it's something I should avoid now.

My Flawless Personality

There's an area of my personality that is pretty much perfect and can't be undone. This is my strongest suit in my personal walk in life. I pretty much aim to get along with everybody no matter how mad or judgmental I felt with them at that moment of time. To show proof, I have never removed any of my Facebook friends from my profile. I won't ever remove anyone no matter how annoyed I feel with them because I don't think words to argue over is something to get so flustered over. Basically, I do all the mind games with people so it's the other people who end up removing me from their Facebook page.

Sometimes I do feel that sense of insecurity with someone on my Facebook page or I can sense or remember someone who removed me from their Facebook page and confirm it. It's really weird that I can track it like this. Basically, one of my biggest arguments in my life have basically been about asking why a person blocked me and that we should reconnect again much to their chagrin. I probably ended up making fun of her unintentionally or really bothered her with mindless fluff about life.

I really like to pretty much be a peacemaker and with this act of me never removing anyone from Facebook, I guess that makes me one step better than the people I ended up bugging about to add me back as a friend. I think I should reveal it to them in due time.  

Putting Words Into Actions

One of the things that my mama still tells me from time to time is that I should be placing my verbalized thoughts into action now. For awhile, I just didn't know what was going through my head because it's like all these chemicals in my head are telling me to just be lazy and rot away while being a couch potato and obsessed freak about meaningless things.

These days I'm just more aware of the truth that is going on with my life and I am personally not afraid of where I am headed. I'm seeking for something that would work in my life, and I am not going to let something bother me anymore. It's a lot of hard work to put on that focus for me, and it's really enjoyable for me too. It's just about being patient and putting in a whole lot of effort to get to where I want to be and not stressing out from all of that effort I'm putting into now.

I guess I'm going to try to play it smart now and work with the things that actually make sense for me. Of all the things that used to bother me, it's a daily effort for me to not let those things kill the mood for me. As I grow more in knowledge and become aware of circumstances through a person's actions and perceiving their words to uncover any flaws such as lies, I seriously know what I want in life with those people. It's to basically not be bothered by them!

Making My Daily Goals A Habit

I'm finding myself drawn to playing the piano and working with my computer daily right before going to work. It isn't really a bad thing for me, but I think I could make a few more improvements. With everything that's been added up, I think it's time to make progress with my life.

I am a person who has been very capable of influencing very small groups of people. I don't even aim to be that way. I have become really comfortable with myself and there's just this sense of stability in my heart these days.

Living For What's Appealing

I guess since it's the weekend right now, and I have all this time and don't really have to work, I should really practice on the things that I ought to be doing. My mind is connecting and through all these fantasies that I'm playing through my head, it's just practically a waste of time.

It seems like when everything is going well for me, I just let that one little and small thing in my life mess with my head. From all of those faults I've placed myself into, it seems like I'm learning the good things about them from working hard to not to be bothered by anything.

Letting Things Go

I'm noticing that it really doesn't matter with the circumstances that have happened to me in the past. I shouldn't really be letting the evil funny things get to me now. I just need to brush off myself and move forward now. 

When I look into things more deeply, I am realizing that the bad things that are part of my life don't really have that much great influence to what is really going on in the world. It's a shame that there are people out there including myself who sometimes just think about other things and forget about what should be really happening. I'm just zoning myself out these days and not really doing that much. I don't want to be that type of person.

Using Your Imagination

Today, with one of those really cute girls who I just go to know as a friend because she seems like a young high schooler who barely graduated and is still a teenager, I spoke to her about using your imagination. It's pretty interesting how some very young females can really be mature and whereas, there are a couple who are pretty wild and actually quite open about it in a funny way. Those wild girls can actually be really nice to people in general if they are sensitive creatures.

Anyway, I spoke to her about what she said looked like a tree house. I pretty much said it looked like a house where my pet could live in. It was pretty boring what I said and then I said that I was using my imagination. One of the guys overhearing our conversation threw an identifiable object at me and it hit me too very accurately! It was his hat. Wow, I guess a guy really has to be incited to do something like that with another guy.

I just remembered how cool it was to be in one of my friend's tree house. I just thought it was a prop back then, but now looking back, it was really cool, I got to climb the ladder and go up to that house and actually lay there and do stuff there. I never had a chance to bring a girl up there, but oh well. I'm sure my friend might have and then became engaged to her the year after. I remember something like that from his mom telling me. Things just change fast.

Things Becoming More Greener

I guess through desiring to focus on the right things these days, it doesn't seem to be that much hard anymore. Maybe that's pretty much a $1 billion concept for a few people; get out of town, no way, right? In one sentence, I'm pretty much giving away a simple idea that is just so hard to master. Fortunately, no one has to be perfect to become a billionaire! My friend said that he wanted to be the first trillionaire, which is funny to even think a fully grown man would say something like that. I want to be a millionaire, billionaire, or trillionaire too!

Maybe with the exception of inflation growing so high, then maybe we won't see a trillionaire in this century. I am basically talking about money in dollar signs because I am sure maybe some currencies could reach astronomical values and still be considered worthless in the eyes of a billionaire!

Stepping Further In Life

To get further ahead in life, I'm noticing that I really need to let go of a lot of my own personal distractions. Like, I don't really have time to do "Facebook stalking" on people I'm mad at or the cute girls I just want to grovel over. This one Facebook friend ended up liking all of his future girlfriend's comments and photos. He has a good point because that girl is actually a beautiful woman with a great heart! I actually liked her too but I guess the ones I like and who are single momentarily will find someone a guy to marry. I'm just about 100% in this category, so I guess the girl I pick out and seem to be fond of with all of my heart might just very well be someone who will be cherished by another if I don't get to her first.

It's just all life. If those girls I liked actually ended up hanging out with me, then I am certain that I can uphold the challenge of finding an even greater woman to love. One of the issues I sort of have had trouble with is liking girls who are barely out of high school. They may be really cute and innocent but I'm not like that anymore so much because I feel like a dad if I'm at least like five years older. I guess that doesn't logically make sense, but I can just see her like a really cute sister to have fun with then.

Learning Things From People

In order to learn something you are dying to know about, you can't just make reasons based on pure scientific evidence, you have to also ask them and get to know the person, even if the person is hiding something. Just by speaking to them, you can get an idea of how they are hiding themselves from you or others. Even if the person is just quiet and having a poker face, that pretty much means the person has that type of personality.

With you asking all those funny questions or offensive remarks just to see how the poker face person acts, gets pretty interesting. If he or she gets all crazy on you, then might as well call the cops for emergency backup. 

Being Stable

I believe that stability with others starts within the self. The saying goes "Help yourself, before helping others." Another one goes something like, you can't dive in like a lifeguard and save someone from drowning in a deep ocean if you can't swim either. Also, stability is portrayed in that the more aggressive and conscientious individual is going to end up conquering and taking all the chips in the pot while he or she is incredibly stable.

In other words, if both individuals are unstable then the aggressive person becomes the loser. However, if the aggressive person is more stable than the quiet person then the aggressive person will win. I am an aggressive person, so I have to be stable at all times or else I will lose to quiet insubordinate jerks all the time! About this whole thing where quiet jerks end up blocking me on Facebook after messaging them unstable remarks about how stupid they are, yeah it doesn't matter too much to me anymore! If I do go up to them, I will be completely stable with them and probably make fun of them while being stable underneath in my heart. They might go screaming and trying to chew my head off, but because I am stable, I will calmly and assertively make fun of them and be very reasonable and convincing about how they should go get some professional help.Therefore, no matter how distressed they look, they will like a bunch of losers. No matter how much they try to get me off guard and unstable again, I won't go there and keep conquering them and even get them to unblock me again on Facebook and add me again as a friend! Hahaha and then start making stable comments that insult or offend them, while they can't do anything about it, while I just keep on laughing. 

Been Very Busy

I guess it seems like I've been keeping my mind focused on other things that I really haven't had the time to really write on this blog. It's really hard for me to stay consistent for me even though I have done so for the last three years. It's pretty amazing with the interesting stuff I have written in the past. I still am amazed at the content I have put and how much humor and amusement I actually had while not really noticing it.

This is something new that I'm finally learning. I don't really care too much about the little things in people anymore. What I mean is that it's not going to really bother me so much anymore and talking about it with the person might just feel too weird. If I do end up going that road, I'm probably just going to end up being nice with the person and end up making that person look really bad with others. Later, I would probably suggest they get some professional help or something like that.

I don't know why, but I just like pushing the envelope in those types of areas. It's definitely a really annoying thing about myself. I'm not really so much hurt about things that are said to me; I mean I might feel a little uneasy temporarily but afterwards, it doesn't really get to me anymore. I'm taking a little more notice with some people, in like how they might have a really good impression about me or they might be complete jerks and wackos with me. 

Living In New Awareness

Over these last couple months, I've been starting to put things together. The simple concept that dissipates a lot of my personal issues is to simply just make an effort to not let anything bug me. One of the main things that I'm realizing and trying to laugh over now is this feeling of self-sorrow from seeing myself shorter than some people. It feels like a temporary bipolar chemistry for me that goes underneath. This girl I dated told me that I could wear masculine high heels to feel a lot taller. I told her, "No, I'm going to deal with the pain and work hard to not be bothered by my height."

It's been something I've been so aware of now and with the little things that I feel moody about when I'm around some old friends. I see the bigger picture a lot more and feel more self-confident about myself and personal appearance. Hey, it helped that my date wanted to kiss me for long periods of time even if she was just interested in using me to feed her love addiction. She confided in me with some of her extreme life struggles with her relationships that I have sworn myself to secrecy. I'm never letting it out and will help her out with doing some damage control. I was one of the few people she was able to tell her whole life story with me because she needed someone to release all of the guilt upon and also I confided in her that I wouldn't be judging her. Hey, she was like another guy friend to talk to about my own things and it was cool to share some of my own personal stuff with a female and be understood. We understood each other and connected!

It was nice to finally meet one of those types of girls. Anyhow, I'm keeping myself busy while she's interested in hanging out again as a friend with me. She also told me that not all women hold off on dating a man just because he's short. I totally believe her and see how it applies with myself now. I'm also not so keen on being bothered about my personal height anymore even though I sometimes feel the bipolar effect temporarily from standing and naturally comparing my height with other people. I'm working hard to not be bothered by the differences anymore and so far it's been good for me!

My Neat Forex System

My Forex system has been developed through some usage of my programming skills. It's really crazy that I am finally making use of my computer science degree because it is surely making my life a lot easier now in trying to make money with trading currency!

I developed programs which automatically manage my trades and another program that tells me if I have a good shot with the market at the top right corner of the picture. I think possibly 70% of the time, I will see the "WAIT" sign but other times, I will have a chance to roll and see what happens! I am going to try out both automated and manual trading and see if I can combine them both to make a decent return with the tools I have been trying to tweak into my own favor.