Over these last couple months, I've been starting to put things together. The simple concept that dissipates a lot of my personal issues is to simply just make an effort to not let anything bug me. One of the main things that I'm realizing and trying to laugh over now is this feeling of self-sorrow from seeing myself shorter than some people. It feels like a temporary bipolar chemistry for me that goes underneath. This girl I dated told me that I could wear masculine high heels to feel a lot taller. I told her, "No, I'm going to deal with the pain and work hard to not be bothered by my height."
It's been something I've been so aware of now and with the little things that I feel moody about when I'm around some old friends. I see the bigger picture a lot more and feel more self-confident about myself and personal appearance. Hey, it helped that my date wanted to kiss me for long periods of time even if she was just interested in using me to feed her love addiction. She confided in me with some of her extreme life struggles with her relationships that I have sworn myself to secrecy. I'm never letting it out and will help her out with doing some damage control. I was one of the few people she was able to tell her whole life story with me because she needed someone to release all of the guilt upon and also I confided in her that I wouldn't be judging her. Hey, she was like another guy friend to talk to about my own things and it was cool to share some of my own personal stuff with a female and be understood. We understood each other and connected!
It was nice to finally meet one of those types of girls. Anyhow, I'm keeping myself busy while she's interested in hanging out again as a friend with me. She also told me that not all women hold off on dating a man just because he's short. I totally believe her and see how it applies with myself now. I'm also not so keen on being bothered about my personal height anymore even though I sometimes feel the bipolar effect temporarily from standing and naturally comparing my height with other people. I'm working hard to not be bothered by the differences anymore and so far it's been good for me!
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
