Well, this is funny in that everybody thinks negatively about something or someone at some point in time of their life. The truth is it's about how much we verbalize it or act on those feelings that can probably get others to think how much of a jerk you are to them.
I'm just laughing in that I'm aware of this thing that people do to one another now. I'm also aware how some people just let it out and talk about their frustrations with close friends. I've been around people doing that because I don't say anything about it. It's pretty annoying to me now when I see it, but I still don't say anything. In fact, I felt it was like the most scariest thing to be a part of for awhile.
Just having this understanding now, it helps me to compartmentalize my negative feelings from just being awkwardly moody when a nice or annoying friend is talking about how his or her day is going. When I did express myself in a really insane and offensive manner that made me laugh so hard to the point of calming down, the other person became scared of me and made complaints about me behind my back. I just know because I hear about them from annoying friends.
I'm choosing not to express myself in a true fashion like that anymore because the other person I still want to be friends with doesn't want to function right anymore. A real and taller man I knew put a restraining order on me and before he said I was a terrorist, he looked like he wanted to go to the bathroom from trembling so much when I approached him to have a friendly chat. I should have asked him, "Are you okay?" I didn't because I was laughing so hard at him, inside my own head. I did all the wrong moves on purpose because I just felt like it and didn't care. I was angry when the cop said that I had to still work with him and got to be 0 yards away from him and keep things work-related. I felt like I was being told like a kid what to do by a cop. It made me mad and so that's how life went. I don't care now! I just fully feel like laughing about the incident even though the guy wouldn't when I talk about it with him. The restraining order isn't around anymore and lasts for only three years. I'm an experienced restraining order getter now. I still have a clean non-criminal record because it doesn't count as really anything. It just makes life harder because you want to get back at the person and for doing that, you could go to jail.
I really could care less if people went for those civil restraining orders and said that I'm bothering them too much that they need the law's assistance to leave them alone. Some people or intra-personal skills they got. I'll say something like that because you get to appear next to them. It doesn't even make sense, when I can appear next to the person and act like an angel for a certain amount of time to contradict what the person is saying against me to the judge.
Anyway, I'm laughing and have learned how I can be still nice by not acting on my agitated and angry feelings of wanting to offend people for just annoying me in general. It could be from the past and recalling it in the moment. It could even be from the present and trying to get rid of those feelings. It could be any feeling and so I just want to be cool and nice, while also making other people laugh in a good way. I guess it's easy to be a little fearful about giving me a hard time and making fun of me now. It's probably just easier to leave me alone and not get in my way of things.
