Approximately 15 minutes to go for me before the New Year. I had an opportunity to share with friends, but just decided to go home to sleep. I even went to visit some churches to see if they were doing anything. My old church I grew up with and went out of feeling religious obligation improved a lot with its building and renovation.
I wouldn't be surprised if Hope of God in Los Angeles still stayed the same or the pastor became so crazy that he got locked up and the owners decided to sell the church and some demolition company took out the building so the new owners would be able to start fresh. Let's just say this is like my wishful thinking but is probably not going to happen. Whether they made their building bigger or smaller, I don't really care. They suck! I don't even care to go look nor even spy on them with Google Maps.
With all this dissing on New Years Eve, yeah, I don't think they will be offering much resistance anymore, if I decide to show up. I'm ready to go crazy with them and make them look bad after being that way. I can see how being funny might actually work. Back to my goal of becoming a millionaire with a six pack. This time I'm adding on muscles, a cute girlfriend who will turn into a sex hungry and hot wife, and etc. Honestly, what does a man really need more? I guess true love that could be worked on.
Thanks for reading this blog and I will reveal that I averaged more readers than just 1 per post. Good night and rest well. Hope of God Church in Los Angeles, you have no basis of a blessing from me and that's it!
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
Sunday, December 31, 2017
This is Crazy
Just like tradition, I'm only minutes away from getting to the New Year. I don't really have any resolutions. I already have been trying to live them from last year and ongoing this year. I'm just going to have to do the best I can then.
I've been so busy and not doing the best at everything. I'm just not thinking that smart as I used to but I guess in the end, it's all going to work out eventually. I think it's just how it is and have to just do your best. It's worth it as well in the end.
I'm just thinking random for these last posts and it is really isn't anything.
I've been so busy and not doing the best at everything. I'm just not thinking that smart as I used to but I guess in the end, it's all going to work out eventually. I think it's just how it is and have to just do your best. It's worth it as well in the end.
I'm just thinking random for these last posts and it is really isn't anything.
Last Minute Post
Well there's a few minutes left today for me. If I was in the east coast then it would have been too late to make sure that I had the routine posts for all these years. It's amazing that I remembered still. I guess what became a tradition is going to stick with you.
I was really tempted to waste my time with Hope of God Church in Los Angeles by trolling them and just being there and by just being present, it would bug some of those dumb people there. I wouldn't have any problem bringing it to their attention now. Actually, I could care less what they think about me now and I'm not mad what they are about with me anymore. It took so long to get used to it.
I was really tempted to waste my time with Hope of God Church in Los Angeles by trolling them and just being there and by just being present, it would bug some of those dumb people there. I wouldn't have any problem bringing it to their attention now. Actually, I could care less what they think about me now and I'm not mad what they are about with me anymore. It took so long to get used to it.
Wednesday, December 27, 2017
App Programming Idea
I will have worked as a computer programmer for one year now and will have already gained a pretty good level of experience in working with SQL database. I have an interest of something I want to program for myself, so if it turns out being great for me, then I'll try to turn it into a service for others.
I don't think it's going to be a one hit wonder for me because I'm not that type of guy who connects with the majority so much for my own personal stuff. If I did want to appeal to the masses, then I would have to go with developing video games. It's honestly something that I'm sure a lot of dedicated guys who are into playing video games day and night if they could afford it would be pretty good at doing. I happen to be one of those guys who wishes he could play the best video games out there while having a wonderful sex life with a really sweet and attractive wife.
From doing some research, it looks like the most money in programming is going to come from rapid development in creating apps. The languages python and ruby on rails are the ones that seem to be paying great dividends, so I say why not try to create some serviceable apps that will cater to me first and then be able to launch a subscription for others interested as well. All I know is that it will profit me the most from being able to be more organized.
I'm planning on programming my own online database with an app that connects to it and records all my trades and then create tools to be able to analyze the best and worst trades I made. I think this would be a very nice thing for me. If it works for me then I will launch it for others to openly criticize how bad its design is and then I will go ahead and fix it!
Secondly I also do want to create an app with online database that will keep track of all the stuff I have in my storage unit. If that ends up being useful for me then I might as well go for launching a service for people.
I think I'll just copy and paste some ideas like service agreement terms except just modify a few words. I think it will be fun to do that. If I can really be well off with my investments then I'm going to switch over to developing video games to appeal to the mass and make some profit. With video games, I'm likely to program in another language besides python and probably will be in C++.
I don't think it's going to be a one hit wonder for me because I'm not that type of guy who connects with the majority so much for my own personal stuff. If I did want to appeal to the masses, then I would have to go with developing video games. It's honestly something that I'm sure a lot of dedicated guys who are into playing video games day and night if they could afford it would be pretty good at doing. I happen to be one of those guys who wishes he could play the best video games out there while having a wonderful sex life with a really sweet and attractive wife.
From doing some research, it looks like the most money in programming is going to come from rapid development in creating apps. The languages python and ruby on rails are the ones that seem to be paying great dividends, so I say why not try to create some serviceable apps that will cater to me first and then be able to launch a subscription for others interested as well. All I know is that it will profit me the most from being able to be more organized.
I'm planning on programming my own online database with an app that connects to it and records all my trades and then create tools to be able to analyze the best and worst trades I made. I think this would be a very nice thing for me. If it works for me then I will launch it for others to openly criticize how bad its design is and then I will go ahead and fix it!
Secondly I also do want to create an app with online database that will keep track of all the stuff I have in my storage unit. If that ends up being useful for me then I might as well go for launching a service for people.
I think I'll just copy and paste some ideas like service agreement terms except just modify a few words. I think it will be fun to do that. If I can really be well off with my investments then I'm going to switch over to developing video games to appeal to the mass and make some profit. With video games, I'm likely to program in another language besides python and probably will be in C++.
Spending Time Wisely
I have about $450 remaining on my online poker account. I was up to about $600 at one point. Now I'm back down and cashing it out while accepting a loss of $50. Well, it could be worse and I guess I'm sick of trying to make money while gambling online now.
It just doesn't add up for me now because I would rather be the guy who manages the poker company with software and promoting events. It's a lot harder to manage but I believe the payoff would be better if it had a nice following of members.
Okay, so reading the Bible today took me almost two hours and it looks like I'll be dedicating that amount on a daily basis just for it. I'm just going for reading three chapters a day and trying to read every word from also a commentary. This guy- J. Vernon McGee and his commentary with going through every verse of the Bible takes awhile to read! He can just go off with pages on just one verse alone and it's a lot to take in, so yeah, I'm just barely hanging in there. I'm just making the attempt to read the Bible and his commentary even if I don't still get it or my mind is on something else.
So yeah, I'll be looking at my personal schedule and trying to avoid mindless activities of just surfing the web and playing card games that aren't really that rewarding either. I'm really seeing myself just uninstalling everything on my computer that might not be of great use to me. I would really like to start making a productive attempt at being good with stuff.
Tuesday, December 26, 2017
Making Use of Time And Money
Currently, I have a hair clinic that I visit month which costs me about $200 and then I have memberships to three other gyms which costs me a total of $100. I'm basically spending $300 right there already for purposes of growing hair and trying to improve my physique.
The problem now is that three gyms feels like a lot and a burden on me. I just need to know how to put that together because I like each one. I also have gas money which could easily pile to up to another $300 each month. I got loans to pay off so overall, I'm probably just going to be left with $1000 for my personal savings each month. If I end up monitoring what I spend and am able to save as much as possible for necessities than maybe I might have something. It's a good thing that I don't have child support bills to pay off or otherwise I would go broke!
I think at the current lifestyle I'm living. I will need another three years before I am completely debt free and can save up money for a house. I guess I will be affording my own first house past the age 40 at this point in time. I don't want just some random and small house in some random city. I want something pretty nice and comfortable to live in!
At the age 40, I can see myself having something going with my Forex trades finally and maybe that could be the age that I finally catch a break from having to work at a company with long hours. I think if I work hard now then maybe I might be able to make it happen before the age 40 arrives.
My deadbeat friend is going nowhere and his plans are going to be shot to the roof. He's just a lonely and selfish guy but can't really get anywhere from just not being smart and refusing to change himself for the better. He's just unable to stand his own personal mess and would rather just avoid it while thinking he deserves to be the clear favorite. Yeah he's pretty dumb and full of contradictions and it seems to be that he can't accept how things are. I think overall it's just better to only hang with him occasionally out of having a long history of being friends.
The problem now is that three gyms feels like a lot and a burden on me. I just need to know how to put that together because I like each one. I also have gas money which could easily pile to up to another $300 each month. I got loans to pay off so overall, I'm probably just going to be left with $1000 for my personal savings each month. If I end up monitoring what I spend and am able to save as much as possible for necessities than maybe I might have something. It's a good thing that I don't have child support bills to pay off or otherwise I would go broke!
I think at the current lifestyle I'm living. I will need another three years before I am completely debt free and can save up money for a house. I guess I will be affording my own first house past the age 40 at this point in time. I don't want just some random and small house in some random city. I want something pretty nice and comfortable to live in!
At the age 40, I can see myself having something going with my Forex trades finally and maybe that could be the age that I finally catch a break from having to work at a company with long hours. I think if I work hard now then maybe I might be able to make it happen before the age 40 arrives.
My deadbeat friend is going nowhere and his plans are going to be shot to the roof. He's just a lonely and selfish guy but can't really get anywhere from just not being smart and refusing to change himself for the better. He's just unable to stand his own personal mess and would rather just avoid it while thinking he deserves to be the clear favorite. Yeah he's pretty dumb and full of contradictions and it seems to be that he can't accept how things are. I think overall it's just better to only hang with him occasionally out of having a long history of being friends.
Figuring Out Problems
I guess I've made my decision to completely let go of playing online poker and to maybe play some live poker occasionally if I ever go to visit Las Vegas. I don't care about losing a couple hundred dollars to another fellow player who outplayed me or with how the chips fell. I think I'll even play with friends if it's ever something that's done.
Basically, I'm going to just stay away from playing poker while glued to my smartphone or computer now. I know that I can personally feel that there's something better for me to do and I just need to reach after it now.
With all of this break time that I'm having, I'm really enjoying how I'm taking the time to just meditate on myself and make some powerful decisions. I just made the decision to leave behind a dumb and selfish friend too. I texted him that I hope he changes for the better and I will pray to Jesus about him almost everyday. Yeah, I got pretty close with my buddy and he seems to be gradually losing his peace of mind and letting little things disturb him. He has no stable job and is a dead-end art student with not much high quality work and he just likes to think he's the best. He's really in for not getting what he wants and he will probably blame it on someone else and come up with reasons that he's right.
Well if you think of it, you already have it or you don't and complaining about what happened in the past isn't going to make you a better person already, it's only going to set you up for more disappointments and depression later on from refusing to change. Overall, I don't think he minds my call that I'm going to start hanging out with him less until he picks things back up for himself.
Basically, I'm going to just stay away from playing poker while glued to my smartphone or computer now. I know that I can personally feel that there's something better for me to do and I just need to reach after it now.
With all of this break time that I'm having, I'm really enjoying how I'm taking the time to just meditate on myself and make some powerful decisions. I just made the decision to leave behind a dumb and selfish friend too. I texted him that I hope he changes for the better and I will pray to Jesus about him almost everyday. Yeah, I got pretty close with my buddy and he seems to be gradually losing his peace of mind and letting little things disturb him. He has no stable job and is a dead-end art student with not much high quality work and he just likes to think he's the best. He's really in for not getting what he wants and he will probably blame it on someone else and come up with reasons that he's right.
Well if you think of it, you already have it or you don't and complaining about what happened in the past isn't going to make you a better person already, it's only going to set you up for more disappointments and depression later on from refusing to change. Overall, I don't think he minds my call that I'm going to start hanging out with him less until he picks things back up for himself.
Crossing Off Essentials
I guess since it's the holiday, it's been nice to keep a running do list. I've been e-mailing myself it every week since starting last month. It's worked out quite nicely for me because I don't need to write anything out and it's just cleaner for me to look at it on my e-mail from my smartphone. It's actually pretty smart, and I'm sure it's funny for some people. It's worked for me though.
Getting stuff done and being able to give myself some play time is amazing. I don't think I could afford to mess around too much anymore and should start making some wise choices and investments that may work for me really well. I have some pretty good goals in mind and they do make me feel happy in some way to reach after.
It's been just a work in progress and I have to say that I don't really want to squander these last few days I have left before going back to work. With stuff improving in my life and just making progress in general, I can see how I'm starting to make a good impact.
Getting stuff done and being able to give myself some play time is amazing. I don't think I could afford to mess around too much anymore and should start making some wise choices and investments that may work for me really well. I have some pretty good goals in mind and they do make me feel happy in some way to reach after.
It's been just a work in progress and I have to say that I don't really want to squander these last few days I have left before going back to work. With stuff improving in my life and just making progress in general, I can see how I'm starting to make a good impact.
Wow, the Year is Almost Over
I can really say that I've improved a whole lot with my personal well-being. I am a lot more confident and capable of holding my weight with individuals who are questionable people. One of the nice changes to my life so far has been that I don't really care about being only 5' 3" now. For being a guy this short, I've been through a lot of baloney with people and have even scared them because they just wanted to think in a dumb manner.
From the way I'm communicating, it really comes down to holding onto personal confidence and I seem to have plenty of it.
From the way I'm communicating, it really comes down to holding onto personal confidence and I seem to have plenty of it.
Living With Purpose
I can now say that being overwhelmed with a bunch of things to do, but not attempting to fix it is plain silly. For starters, keeping a list of all the activities written down and breaking it down in a manageable form with purpose and proper motivation really helps. I really think that book on reaching goals by the founder of Scientology is very amazing, and I'm reiterating that it deals nothing with religion.
I guess I can go ahead with managing my money and trying to get my money's worth with some memberships. If I just sit there and not do anything about it then I'm just wasting my money with something I meant for myself to be a good thing.
I think next year while approaching my 35th year, things are really going to be changing for me. I also like how the people who acted like idiots with me aren't really trying to bother. It seems like life is what you want to make out of it and to have people who acted dumb with me in my life who I can try to remind that they acted dumb with me is all the fun in the world that I can have.
I guess I can go ahead with managing my money and trying to get my money's worth with some memberships. If I just sit there and not do anything about it then I'm just wasting my money with something I meant for myself to be a good thing.
I think next year while approaching my 35th year, things are really going to be changing for me. I also like how the people who acted like idiots with me aren't really trying to bother. It seems like life is what you want to make out of it and to have people who acted dumb with me in my life who I can try to remind that they acted dumb with me is all the fun in the world that I can have.
Resolving Dilemma and Conflict
One of the things I struggled with for like the longest time was getting a hold on my sexual behavior. Sometimes, I'm so in the mood that I even wish I had a wife who felt the same way with me. I guess I've been experimenting with my sexual junk and making sure everything is working fine every once in awhile. I've been trying to tolerate the speed found in free porno videos found online. Yeah, I've been building tolerance and if I stay away for awhile, it becomes very sensitive again and will feel so much better after edging. I guess once every six months is torture for most guys who admit to being addicted to porn. I think it's just a daily decision to just live with those feelings of desiring sex with a girl who has a beautiful face and toned looking attractive body.
I think to get to the point of finding a hot girl with a swell personality and a knack to have lots of loving and romantic sex with her husband, you have to be ready for it. The things I could just work on improving myself would be my fitness level, spirituality, relationship, happiness, and money. I believe that I was born with a desire to always want to continually improve myself as a whole. When I do reach a goal, I like to live it out in that moment of happiness as long as I can before naturally finding another thing I need to get better at.
I think to get to the point of finding a hot girl with a swell personality and a knack to have lots of loving and romantic sex with her husband, you have to be ready for it. The things I could just work on improving myself would be my fitness level, spirituality, relationship, happiness, and money. I believe that I was born with a desire to always want to continually improve myself as a whole. When I do reach a goal, I like to live it out in that moment of happiness as long as I can before naturally finding another thing I need to get better at.
Making Choices
It looks like I'm about trying to make the right choices as the end of the year approaches. One of my buddies is pretty much a dumb and selfish guy but lonely. I think it's safe to say that it might be more common than one might think.
From having taken this Jesus-filled approach with just tackling every personal issue with complete honesty and leaving myself to not avoid anything, I can say that I've grown a lot as a person. Also, I never really thought in my wildest imagination that a girl could actually be such a cool person to hang out with and even bond together with as a friend. I remember the days I would just act like a jerk with my little sister and tease her while getting her to form a grudge with me that she was in denial with.
Instead of just one girl, make that actually several- four to be exact and still room to grow in my life.
From having taken this Jesus-filled approach with just tackling every personal issue with complete honesty and leaving myself to not avoid anything, I can say that I've grown a lot as a person. Also, I never really thought in my wildest imagination that a girl could actually be such a cool person to hang out with and even bond together with as a friend. I remember the days I would just act like a jerk with my little sister and tease her while getting her to form a grudge with me that she was in denial with.
Instead of just one girl, make that actually several- four to be exact and still room to grow in my life.
Tuesday, December 19, 2017
One of the Things I Would Like
I guess one of my main goals going onto next year will be finally working myself out of debt and also creating a side income that will seriously benefit me so much that I won't even have to go to my primary job. I honestly would like to become an investor and the first thing I've personally chosen for my own tastes is trading Forex. I don't recommend it for anyone and it's like something you have to be resilient with and is pretty much a dog-eat-dog world where it can just take majority of people's money. It's pretty much like gambling as a team in a way and you have to be really smart. I'm using some tools to be mathematical at it and I just happen to like it and think it can be something I could make my primary living off of.
It would be nice to be successful and finally be able to afford my own place that's even better than my parent's home and to have so much sufficient time. I'll seriously need to expand my portfolio with investing once I can get something going. I might just try to work at being a game programmer and volunteer physician or something like that so I can have something to fall back on in case I ever need money and doing something that I see myself enjoying.
To becoming a doctor while being rich and willing to work for free, I think I'll need an understanding girlfriend or wife to do that. Probably not going to be happening for me and was nice dreaming it, so maybe I'll just be a health nut and try to take classes where I can watch live surgeries take place. I can seriously see myself being pretty good at programming anything, so becoming successful at that with a great team and coming up with something ingenious enough to make money which shouldn't be that hard with all these opportunities, I guess I can make money trying to entertain the masses. If I ever feel like I'm not doing anything serious enough, that's where I can kick in my interests with studying health.
It would be nice to be successful and finally be able to afford my own place that's even better than my parent's home and to have so much sufficient time. I'll seriously need to expand my portfolio with investing once I can get something going. I might just try to work at being a game programmer and volunteer physician or something like that so I can have something to fall back on in case I ever need money and doing something that I see myself enjoying.
To becoming a doctor while being rich and willing to work for free, I think I'll need an understanding girlfriend or wife to do that. Probably not going to be happening for me and was nice dreaming it, so maybe I'll just be a health nut and try to take classes where I can watch live surgeries take place. I can seriously see myself being pretty good at programming anything, so becoming successful at that with a great team and coming up with something ingenious enough to make money which shouldn't be that hard with all these opportunities, I guess I can make money trying to entertain the masses. If I ever feel like I'm not doing anything serious enough, that's where I can kick in my interests with studying health.
Maturing as a Person
One of my friends is the same age as me and he's pretty juvenile in his thinking and dumb. The side effect with him being dumb though is that from being paranoid, he just ends up avoiding or escaping from possible situations arising. He's a very conflict-adverse type of individual and having this guy around to advise me during my worst moments with that horrible Hope of God church in Los Angeles was like the most annoying thing about him!
He really loves to point out people's faults and do everything in his power to try to cheat the system occasionally when he's in a competitive spirit. Even with that, he can't keep up and do it consistently. This guy just really isn't all that special even with all the work he puts in. He's really at his limits and that's pretty much all there is about him, except try to put up with him now.
I've been really stupid in the past and doing the same thing over and over again. I would try to play poker and then try to justify myself masturbating to porn. I would feel bad in the end obviously. Losing some money and something else that comes from inside of you just isn't a great combination! Boy at the age of 34, I'm starting to rationalize even my own sexuality and trying to make healthy choices. I don't think I'm on my way to becoming a 40 year old virgin though. I think I'll be settling down finally. I'm just making all of these connections.
He really loves to point out people's faults and do everything in his power to try to cheat the system occasionally when he's in a competitive spirit. Even with that, he can't keep up and do it consistently. This guy just really isn't all that special even with all the work he puts in. He's really at his limits and that's pretty much all there is about him, except try to put up with him now.
I've been really stupid in the past and doing the same thing over and over again. I would try to play poker and then try to justify myself masturbating to porn. I would feel bad in the end obviously. Losing some money and something else that comes from inside of you just isn't a great combination! Boy at the age of 34, I'm starting to rationalize even my own sexuality and trying to make healthy choices. I don't think I'm on my way to becoming a 40 year old virgin though. I think I'll be settling down finally. I'm just making all of these connections.
Weird Feeling
I'm under one of those weird feelings right now where I could just go all random and in the end regret it from not getting anything done. I guess I'm going to try to change it around this time with these emotions. What I really love about this blog these days is that it's been really great to just type away and let out all my dirty secrets that's just been bugging me.
Okay, I'm actually a pretty decent guy for standards according to this world. To God's standard, I'm only still standing because of my faith in Jesus. I really do want to walk according to the ways of Christ. I know how that can sound offensive for some people especially if I try to convince them to do the same. Well, it has to all start with having a relationship with God. It isn't about just doing a bunch of do's and dont's.
Looks like for myself, just reading the Bible daily with the commentary by Dr. McGee and going for a verse-by-verse approach and three chapters a day, I'm spending quite a lot of time with trying to understand what the Bible is saying. I've found myself to be really sleepy while reading the Bible as well and it's something I've been doing to try to stay awake with. However, I've noticed a whole big difference with reading the Bible while not being that sleepy and feeling well-rested. It's like the sessions go by a lot smoother and it happened because I was just in my room with really no distractions.
I guess I'm getting a lot better at studying while being myself in my own room. My own personal distractions is pretty much the stuff that goes on in my head and not being in the living room. I guess I have less things to keep me from being distracted. My parents are really quite boring in how they spend they day. They just end up watching TV through the evening and then fall asleep on the couch before retreating into their bedrooms. It's pretty much the same old pretty boring lifestyle. This could probably have been one of the reasons for me to not really try to listen to my parents when they told me to find someone to settle down with.
Okay, I'm actually a pretty decent guy for standards according to this world. To God's standard, I'm only still standing because of my faith in Jesus. I really do want to walk according to the ways of Christ. I know how that can sound offensive for some people especially if I try to convince them to do the same. Well, it has to all start with having a relationship with God. It isn't about just doing a bunch of do's and dont's.
Looks like for myself, just reading the Bible daily with the commentary by Dr. McGee and going for a verse-by-verse approach and three chapters a day, I'm spending quite a lot of time with trying to understand what the Bible is saying. I've found myself to be really sleepy while reading the Bible as well and it's something I've been doing to try to stay awake with. However, I've noticed a whole big difference with reading the Bible while not being that sleepy and feeling well-rested. It's like the sessions go by a lot smoother and it happened because I was just in my room with really no distractions.
I guess I'm getting a lot better at studying while being myself in my own room. My own personal distractions is pretty much the stuff that goes on in my head and not being in the living room. I guess I have less things to keep me from being distracted. My parents are really quite boring in how they spend they day. They just end up watching TV through the evening and then fall asleep on the couch before retreating into their bedrooms. It's pretty much the same old pretty boring lifestyle. This could probably have been one of the reasons for me to not really try to listen to my parents when they told me to find someone to settle down with.
What It Would Mean To Be Rich
Well being rich would mean that I could afford some cool stuff, but I'm obviously going to stay number one over it all. I even value a homeless guy's life over my money to say the truth. Why? Because he's a living and breathing person and he hasn't done anything to me yet so I don't have to judge him so harshly. When it comes to giving him money while he's begging, I'm going to be no, go get a job or just suffer on the streets there asking people to take pity on you. I pity those homeless people so much and in Las Vegas, when an old guy walked up to me to ask for some money to buy himself a short meal, I was like okay. He then ran off in a bicycle. I know that earning five dollars for begging is going to take some work and if he wants to blow it all off on some lotto ticket then good for him if he gets it, but I hope money doesn't end up running his life if he gets back on track.
Having a lot of money and then using it to invest in cool stuff to make even more sounds fun, but it's not worth giving up love. I would love to spend my time also traveling with some great companions too. I could even hook up my friends and family who are so precious to me. There's a lot of great stuff I could do with this resource and I'm glad to be a discerning giver. What I mean by that is I believe that I have been called by God's spirit to be a giver to promote the spreading of the gospel and to also discern the right players in that field.
Yeah, I'm meant to be a rich person because I don't care about comparing myself to others about being wealthy in the first place. I can care less if I had no money as long as I had enough things to do but that's impossible with how this world is running, so I have to play the game too of making myself wealthy in a really smart way so that I won't have to stress out about money and then run away from hot women who are into guys with money.
Looks don't really matter to me when it comes to a relationship but it's definitely going to catch my interest with considering the girl to be my hot wife if she's interested. I think I care about personality 90% and the final touches are about her appearance. If she's decent enough and not going to be fat or just barely meat on the bone, then okay, I can see something promising with an awesome sex life happening!
This is fun to write about and communicate with great friends too. I'm figuring that one girl I know out of all the other female friends is really comfortable about me talking about sex with her. There's another great girl too and she's pretty much like my compatible lover if she didn't have a boyfriend, but I like how I'm great friends with her too so my relationships with gorgeous women might be able to transcend really well and even be flexible.
Having a lot of money and then using it to invest in cool stuff to make even more sounds fun, but it's not worth giving up love. I would love to spend my time also traveling with some great companions too. I could even hook up my friends and family who are so precious to me. There's a lot of great stuff I could do with this resource and I'm glad to be a discerning giver. What I mean by that is I believe that I have been called by God's spirit to be a giver to promote the spreading of the gospel and to also discern the right players in that field.
Yeah, I'm meant to be a rich person because I don't care about comparing myself to others about being wealthy in the first place. I can care less if I had no money as long as I had enough things to do but that's impossible with how this world is running, so I have to play the game too of making myself wealthy in a really smart way so that I won't have to stress out about money and then run away from hot women who are into guys with money.
Looks don't really matter to me when it comes to a relationship but it's definitely going to catch my interest with considering the girl to be my hot wife if she's interested. I think I care about personality 90% and the final touches are about her appearance. If she's decent enough and not going to be fat or just barely meat on the bone, then okay, I can see something promising with an awesome sex life happening!
This is fun to write about and communicate with great friends too. I'm figuring that one girl I know out of all the other female friends is really comfortable about me talking about sex with her. There's another great girl too and she's pretty much like my compatible lover if she didn't have a boyfriend, but I like how I'm great friends with her too so my relationships with gorgeous women might be able to transcend really well and even be flexible.
Making Money the Hard but Fast Way
Basically earning money the fastest way is really going to come from gambling very well. It's really difficult to stay consistent with and it just a total buster to your happiness if you can't keep up with it. One of my crazy friends likes to gamble with Blackjack every once in awhile and is stupid because he thinks he can beat the house without counting cards. What ended up happening is that he would play for hours and one time he was down nearly $800 and came back to break even with it. With that type of swing, he eventually felt that winning at Blackjack didn't even matter because the pattern of gaining money could easily shift over to losing money at any given time.
Gambling is pretty much about getting lucky if it's about winning and it's stupid that people are hooked onto it. Casinos make a living out of taking bored people's money!
For myself, I've come to terms with playing Forex. I don't recommend it for anyone to play and will not even mention how to get started if you ask me. It's pretty much trying to make money on autopilot while putting in the most efficient amount of work. It's pretty cool with all the visual stuff you can do as well because practically in the end, it's all about making a mathematical decision and I'm glad I came across some game changing ideas to add onto my personal style.
Gambling is pretty much about getting lucky if it's about winning and it's stupid that people are hooked onto it. Casinos make a living out of taking bored people's money!
For myself, I've come to terms with playing Forex. I don't recommend it for anyone to play and will not even mention how to get started if you ask me. It's pretty much trying to make money on autopilot while putting in the most efficient amount of work. It's pretty cool with all the visual stuff you can do as well because practically in the end, it's all about making a mathematical decision and I'm glad I came across some game changing ideas to add onto my personal style.
Staying On Track
Well one of the things that I'm starting to notice is that the Bible commentary that I'm reading while trying to commit myself to just three chapters a day can take me longer than two hours. I'm going to have to prepare myself accordingly. What's nuts is that I want to be absolutely at no debt now.
With the income that I'm dragging in now which is only about 75K working as a computer programmer, it's actually not too bad. I know that I can do better or I feel that way. Having a lot of money and being able to make more pretty easily will give me a lot of options then with what to do with my time.
I'm really glad with the life's experiences that I've went through, I still want to make wise decisions, so yeah, I might blow off friend's proposals if I don't see it being lucrative. I also do want to share quite a little amount with getting God's Word out with a well-organized and Bible-believing church. I'm definitely not so hot for Hope of God church in Los Angeles! I'll go visit them and act all funny with them just to give myself laughs now and just not really care about sticking around there. I guess I can do that if I feel like being a troll on some days.
When it comes to focusing on God, they don't play much of a factor for me so I guess it's only natural for me to think negatively of them and place bad reviews about them and scoff at their religious system of beliefs. Yeah, they were church people who went crazy and succumbed over to their flesh. It happens and is quite funny even though I was raging and wanted to be a lunatic with them and control them all to the point that they praise me on Facebook by just having them hit the like button.
Having gone random and talking trash with Oyuri back a little awhile ago, yeah she pretty much bowed out and got fatter as a person. It's annoying that Oyuri looks fat to me, so I messaged her to work out. Yeah, she's pretty much acting really quiet with me and not trying to react. She's in that stage of conflict with me because I totally schooled her and yeah, it feels great that I did that to her!
With the income that I'm dragging in now which is only about 75K working as a computer programmer, it's actually not too bad. I know that I can do better or I feel that way. Having a lot of money and being able to make more pretty easily will give me a lot of options then with what to do with my time.
I'm really glad with the life's experiences that I've went through, I still want to make wise decisions, so yeah, I might blow off friend's proposals if I don't see it being lucrative. I also do want to share quite a little amount with getting God's Word out with a well-organized and Bible-believing church. I'm definitely not so hot for Hope of God church in Los Angeles! I'll go visit them and act all funny with them just to give myself laughs now and just not really care about sticking around there. I guess I can do that if I feel like being a troll on some days.
When it comes to focusing on God, they don't play much of a factor for me so I guess it's only natural for me to think negatively of them and place bad reviews about them and scoff at their religious system of beliefs. Yeah, they were church people who went crazy and succumbed over to their flesh. It happens and is quite funny even though I was raging and wanted to be a lunatic with them and control them all to the point that they praise me on Facebook by just having them hit the like button.
Having gone random and talking trash with Oyuri back a little awhile ago, yeah she pretty much bowed out and got fatter as a person. It's annoying that Oyuri looks fat to me, so I messaged her to work out. Yeah, she's pretty much acting really quiet with me and not trying to react. She's in that stage of conflict with me because I totally schooled her and yeah, it feels great that I did that to her!
Been So Busy
Well I guess I'm officially on vacation now so this is good because I can make plans and carry them out. I understand how time is really precious and that I really do want to get them working. I'm not really that busy actually. I'm just keeping myself occupied and trying to not regret the time that I put into it.
I guess I am really meant to have a personal schedule otherwise I'll just go all over the place and be lost with myself. What's so great is that I have plenty of friends that I care about now and to really go do stuff with. I'm also pretty self-confident with myself and happy about my imperfections being forgiven by the Lord!
Yeah, I think it's about time that I went out and found myself a really good girlfriend. I'm not even heavily influenced by friend's opinions that much anymore. Well, in some cases yes but when it comes to moral issues, then no I'm not influenced by it.
I guess I am really meant to have a personal schedule otherwise I'll just go all over the place and be lost with myself. What's so great is that I have plenty of friends that I care about now and to really go do stuff with. I'm also pretty self-confident with myself and happy about my imperfections being forgiven by the Lord!
Yeah, I think it's about time that I went out and found myself a really good girlfriend. I'm not even heavily influenced by friend's opinions that much anymore. Well, in some cases yes but when it comes to moral issues, then no I'm not influenced by it.
Thursday, December 14, 2017
Art of the Game
From establishing some great friendships with a few beautiful women (yay, finally), I think I can fairly assess how a guy can get a girl. I'm not going to write a book on this because no, I don't want to make money helping really desperate guys who want to have sex with the girl they like. If they talk about approaching to marry them, then that's a different story for me though!
Umm, I think for marriage it's basically establish a bond based off of love that keeps growing stronger with a great relationship and become like best friends and let it be something that just happens naturally over time. Having that sexual flame in the relationship is good too and that's what I want to focus on, but I'm sure it can carry over to dating for those people who want to have sex outside of marriage.
So there's some categories if you want to think of it logically. Like looks department which I totally won't nail but my height hasn't been too poisonous for me these days. People just don't seem to care that much for me specifically. I'm an exception model, an outlier, a lucky person to be jealous of, etc. In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth and all the people who saw me thought this, "Whoa, this guy is short." On the seventh day, God rested for everything he created was good after forming Adam. Longer than seven days passed for me and people who saw me at first are now like, "Whatever, this guy is a total scary piece of machine."
Okay, I managed to figure out how to outplay my own weakness which is the looks department. I just stay nice to all the tall, medium, short, and extra short people. I also work out and trying to grow back my thinning hair which has shown progress and trying to make myself grow taller but maybe only in a millimeter at a time. I also enjoy taking photography which is lucky for me because I care about great images and I want to look appropriate for it so yeah, I like decent clothes that look good and to have all of that hair style and everything to complement my appearance. This is a plus for the ladies because we have something in common to talk about.
There are also strong categories the guy will nail no problem. The guy can be an expert at how to be a jerk for example which will result in so many slaps from the girl. I'm just kidding here. A strong area like maybe making the girl you like laugh is really good too. It seems to open up a gateway to her heart and let that love flow out of her.
There's a really important element and it's obviously attraction. Whether guys listen to me or not, it's going to happen regardless and is natural. I just hope that guys who do find this strong connection with the girl are able to not go right after sex without first marrying the girl. Maybe the girl has some issues or maybe she's the right one but I would just give it some time and talk about how great of a girl she is to everybody. It's only the right thing to do!
With those beautiful female friends I have, I think I do have a connection of attraction with probably about half of them. Why haven't I gone after it then? Those beautiful girls have some compatibility issues for me man! I'll just have to meet some more connections and finally draw myself into the girl I find is right for me.
Umm, I think for marriage it's basically establish a bond based off of love that keeps growing stronger with a great relationship and become like best friends and let it be something that just happens naturally over time. Having that sexual flame in the relationship is good too and that's what I want to focus on, but I'm sure it can carry over to dating for those people who want to have sex outside of marriage.
So there's some categories if you want to think of it logically. Like looks department which I totally won't nail but my height hasn't been too poisonous for me these days. People just don't seem to care that much for me specifically. I'm an exception model, an outlier, a lucky person to be jealous of, etc. In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth and all the people who saw me thought this, "Whoa, this guy is short." On the seventh day, God rested for everything he created was good after forming Adam. Longer than seven days passed for me and people who saw me at first are now like, "Whatever, this guy is a total scary piece of machine."
Okay, I managed to figure out how to outplay my own weakness which is the looks department. I just stay nice to all the tall, medium, short, and extra short people. I also work out and trying to grow back my thinning hair which has shown progress and trying to make myself grow taller but maybe only in a millimeter at a time. I also enjoy taking photography which is lucky for me because I care about great images and I want to look appropriate for it so yeah, I like decent clothes that look good and to have all of that hair style and everything to complement my appearance. This is a plus for the ladies because we have something in common to talk about.
There are also strong categories the guy will nail no problem. The guy can be an expert at how to be a jerk for example which will result in so many slaps from the girl. I'm just kidding here. A strong area like maybe making the girl you like laugh is really good too. It seems to open up a gateway to her heart and let that love flow out of her.
There's a really important element and it's obviously attraction. Whether guys listen to me or not, it's going to happen regardless and is natural. I just hope that guys who do find this strong connection with the girl are able to not go right after sex without first marrying the girl. Maybe the girl has some issues or maybe she's the right one but I would just give it some time and talk about how great of a girl she is to everybody. It's only the right thing to do!
With those beautiful female friends I have, I think I do have a connection of attraction with probably about half of them. Why haven't I gone after it then? Those beautiful girls have some compatibility issues for me man! I'll just have to meet some more connections and finally draw myself into the girl I find is right for me.
What I'm Grateful For
What I'm truly grateful for is that I was given so many opportunities to deal with idiots in the area of personal relationship. Yeah, Chris and Jarred and Lee and cussing Oyuri (by writing only) were really dumb in their actions with me. I really don't care about sharing all the cussing Oyuri did to me and I still kept some of her messages. With the way I'm responding to them now yeah, yes Oyuri is such a dumb ~~~~~~~. Extra special mention goes out to Golf who I want to just say goofball or goofy for a nickname. Oh yeah there's also the infidel pastor Chai too. He really sucks a lot!
Happy seasons to those really dumb brats for all these years! Betty is annoying for a girl with mental problems, but I have to go easy on her. She got so hurt by me that she really destroyed some of her own public computer files on her. I'm not like "Awww too bad", but I have to admit I still can't stop laughing about it and it's only because she acted like a modified ~~~~~~~~~~~. I'm not filling in that blank.
Actually, I believe this is all started because I wanted to be friends with Annie on Facebook and was having trouble opening up. I faced my fears and God gave me a chance to see her again. I didn't want to see Annie and I was surprised that I had the hots for her too! She looked like the same but this time, man what am I thinking she's kind of physically less attractive to me oh. She isn't that bad, but some physical features on her are not eye popping candy or anything like that. It was just me being lame with a stupid crush and feeling guilty about not being able to make friends with her on Facebook, so this caused a cataclysm with all the stupid people I mentioned above.
Last but not least I want to give another rare downer to the one and only lame lady, Lee. She thought she could get away with putting a restraining order on me. Well, she found out it didn't work. I've been threatening her to put another one on me so that I could make fun of her in court. I didn't get a chance because I was so nervous and now that I know the drill, yeah she isn't my first restraining order. I only have two in my life and don't mind another one coming from Lee because I will feel so happy to write a restraining order against Lee in retaliation!
The first time I didn't show up for the case from not caring enough, so I didn't know how it goes. With Lee, I was so nervous about getting fired and all of that jazz. Like sexual harassment issues and stuff, I was ahead of my time already. Anyway, I'm lucky it wasn't that serious and that Lee was just being an angry nut. She was like "You did nothing to me but because you..." and yeah she's not a modified ~~~~~~~~ that I think Betty is.
Oh yeah, another downer shout to the people at Hope of God Church in Los Angeles who unfriended me on Facebook or want to act like they are in denial about it if I come to talk to them about it! Yeah, maybe they really aren't all that pleasant on the inside like the hypocritical and unworthy failures of sinners that they are. I question their loyalty to Jesus!
I'm probably not going to be hammered for all of this. It's a proper channel with what I'm writing and it took years and years of practice with trial and error to finally get this confidence to deal with dumb and uptight people. They are probably just going to stay out of my way and occasionally will find themselves staying quiet or altogether being nice to me because I happen to be "funny" enough even to the most shyest and paranoid or ones who deny they are in denial. Yeah, all the weird pompous people at that church which they are.
Happy seasons to those really dumb brats for all these years! Betty is annoying for a girl with mental problems, but I have to go easy on her. She got so hurt by me that she really destroyed some of her own public computer files on her. I'm not like "Awww too bad", but I have to admit I still can't stop laughing about it and it's only because she acted like a modified ~~~~~~~~~~~. I'm not filling in that blank.
Actually, I believe this is all started because I wanted to be friends with Annie on Facebook and was having trouble opening up. I faced my fears and God gave me a chance to see her again. I didn't want to see Annie and I was surprised that I had the hots for her too! She looked like the same but this time, man what am I thinking she's kind of physically less attractive to me oh. She isn't that bad, but some physical features on her are not eye popping candy or anything like that. It was just me being lame with a stupid crush and feeling guilty about not being able to make friends with her on Facebook, so this caused a cataclysm with all the stupid people I mentioned above.
Last but not least I want to give another rare downer to the one and only lame lady, Lee. She thought she could get away with putting a restraining order on me. Well, she found out it didn't work. I've been threatening her to put another one on me so that I could make fun of her in court. I didn't get a chance because I was so nervous and now that I know the drill, yeah she isn't my first restraining order. I only have two in my life and don't mind another one coming from Lee because I will feel so happy to write a restraining order against Lee in retaliation!
The first time I didn't show up for the case from not caring enough, so I didn't know how it goes. With Lee, I was so nervous about getting fired and all of that jazz. Like sexual harassment issues and stuff, I was ahead of my time already. Anyway, I'm lucky it wasn't that serious and that Lee was just being an angry nut. She was like "You did nothing to me but because you..." and yeah she's not a modified ~~~~~~~~ that I think Betty is.
Oh yeah, another downer shout to the people at Hope of God Church in Los Angeles who unfriended me on Facebook or want to act like they are in denial about it if I come to talk to them about it! Yeah, maybe they really aren't all that pleasant on the inside like the hypocritical and unworthy failures of sinners that they are. I question their loyalty to Jesus!
I'm probably not going to be hammered for all of this. It's a proper channel with what I'm writing and it took years and years of practice with trial and error to finally get this confidence to deal with dumb and uptight people. They are probably just going to stay out of my way and occasionally will find themselves staying quiet or altogether being nice to me because I happen to be "funny" enough even to the most shyest and paranoid or ones who deny they are in denial. Yeah, all the weird pompous people at that church which they are.
Getting More Into Things
Getting a really nice hug from a female friend who means a lot to me and isn't too old is better than looking at porno for me! I can wait for awhile to get some of that too. I just have to remember that now because what's really killing me is trying to beat my insecurity with being premature. This is what gets me going to edging to porn and it's worked actually but man, it gets boring and I would rather have a wife to enjoy hot sex with. I think this is my way of balancing things out with God's foundation of living laid out in the Bible.
Yeah, I'm writing stuff that feels T.M.I. and it's pretty much anything goes but this is my real me. On top of that, I'm making revelations which is quite interesting.
There are three steps that I realized from just meditating while praying about temptations with God. It just occurred to me naturally and since I haven't forgotten, I'm just going to type it away.
First step is to realize the intended purpose. For example, having like the perfect and most enjoyable sex for recreational fun would be awesome right (?) if everything came together.
Second step is to "be still" until you get an answer that aligns well with God's Word. What do I mean? It means to basically just wait but it sounds better by saying to be still because to God's eyes when you are bored for a few years, I'm sure it means absolutely nothing and you didn't do anything.
Third step is to move into action. I had a vision of people who are mad at their co-workers for not doing anything so yeah, that made me think you should do something about it eventually.
Yeah, I'm writing stuff that feels T.M.I. and it's pretty much anything goes but this is my real me. On top of that, I'm making revelations which is quite interesting.
There are three steps that I realized from just meditating while praying about temptations with God. It just occurred to me naturally and since I haven't forgotten, I'm just going to type it away.
First step is to realize the intended purpose. For example, having like the perfect and most enjoyable sex for recreational fun would be awesome right (?) if everything came together.
Second step is to "be still" until you get an answer that aligns well with God's Word. What do I mean? It means to basically just wait but it sounds better by saying to be still because to God's eyes when you are bored for a few years, I'm sure it means absolutely nothing and you didn't do anything.
Third step is to move into action. I had a vision of people who are mad at their co-workers for not doing anything so yeah, that made me think you should do something about it eventually.
Saturday, December 9, 2017
Working Things
Getting into the moment of things, I don't really understand what I'm doing with trading Forex. It looks like in all actuality, it really is a form of gambling and playing like a game of team poker. The strategy is really using tools to come up with enough information to be confident that a market is heading in your direction and then playing to win consistently. It's pretty much fighting team battles of either being a buyer or seller. I think it's exciting to be a part of and I want to be a great player of the market. My style is so laid back and I like being that way without being like a well-known poker player.
I think there's more money to be made in this market and even more unimaginable then I would as a poker player. I'm making the comparison because trading and playing poker for money both have similarities for me to draw conclusions from.
I'm slowly crossing stuff off my to do list and the easy stuff on there has turned out to be time consuming. I made a hard decision to cross one of those easy tasks off, which was buying a snowboarding pass. With all of the money that I have spending, I went overboard than I would have liked and need to settle down with finances. With this time, I can focus on trading more and see if I can make any personal breakthroughs with it.
It's pretty much a new day and my tasks need to be exhausted before I can have fun. I really like having this committed effect from having a list of things to do that I made and to go after it in a daily fashion. It's like everything is laid out for me in a bird's eye view without being so hard on myself. From being distracted with my hormones, I'm aware of it and pushing myself to reward myself from doing the tasks that have been laid out for me. One thing that I have to be really grateful for is that it just isn't about all my life and I actually have God on there who I want to please. Maybe if I had a lot more money and free time, like I was living the privileged life with a high salary from being successful with trading then maybe I would be able to joyfully give back to organizations that I have faith in.
I'm thinking that a certain person I don't want to mention for my own protection is a jerk. I should just treat him as such in the future now and give him a hard time by asking him to add me on Facebook. I'm just going to wing it and be completely honest about it while laughing about the incident and poking fun of the dude's ineptness and what I'm able to draw from it. I'm willing to make the dude look bad and just about everybody else I came across to give a chance to being cool with me but ended up being a jerk-a-holic. Eventually, all in time and if I can't have access those stupid individuals anymore, I'm completely okay with it.
There's one who is pretty much a retarded jerk, so I just ignore and let it go with whatever he wants to say now. I give off this positive energy and it's like I know I'm better than him type of deal. In all of his contradictory feelings and stupid anger, he looks up to me. He wishes me well from the treatment I decided to give upon him.
There's also a friend who is brothers with this retarded jerk who I get annoyed or angered by pretty often, so I just distance myself out from him. It's worked and he's just a phone call away for me to hang out if I ever desire it. I just don't know what else to do with him now and the things he is into isn't really that relational to me that much anymore. I've been quite lucky to have something fun with a hot girl and be great friends with her and to spend time together. We're like family and it feels very meaningful and something to cherish. It's great that she's hot too because I feel like I made a connection with something I wanted from the past already and moving into tomorrow is more comfortable for me.
Friday, December 8, 2017
Making Adjustments
I'm not going to lie but from being single and almost already 35 next year, man, that's a huge number and I'm this little guy with a big heart. I want to really think that way. Thinking about it, I actually feel sorry for the wives of Jarred and Chris at that old and lame Hope of God church. They (intentionally left ambiguous) might be loving and sweet sometimes, but they really have a bad side to them. I'm not really interested in Mina or Judy either. It's like whatever for me, but I'm just talking about them because I feel annoyed with Jarred and Chris and thinking about Jarred and Chris (intentionally revealed) being bad at romance and sex!
I'm basically saying that if you end up finding the right person to fall in love with, everything just falls into place. I'm preaching it and I read this from a slick autobiography about the author spending his time sleeping with prostitutes. He would analyze the woman's body and how their sexual prowess was and all of that which guys are prone to doing. In the end, he fell in love with a prostitute! Out of that humor, there's the conclusion that if you meet the right person for whatever context, it's lining up and happening.
With four kids running around Chris and mentally testing him, I'm coming back to really make him stressed out! If Chris was smart, he would just leave and never come back to the old and lame Hope of God church. I'll tell him that to leave if he doesn't want to add me on Facebook because he's already so stupid anyway and I'll tell that to Jarred the same. Obviously, I'm being random with my truthful statements with feelings but emotions are meant to be contradictory from the start anyway. I'm guessing it's a mark to show that we have sinful natures already.
Jesus was melancholy and weeping at the Garden of Gethsemane. It's holy and he was crying about the Father having to abandon him at the cross to pay the ultimate price for washing away all sins to believers who want it. I guess there's nothing selfish then about wanting a friendship with a stupid and silly person like Chris or Jarred. Jarred, I'm thinking is a lazy putz and like a spoiled brat and gets moody when he's convinced something is so right and not getting his way but I'm glad he's wrong, and he's about to get my physical treatment to remind how he was really wrong and he's of no help. Jarred is going down the drain.
Basically, if Jarred was smart too, he would leave that lame church also and never come back. I need to stay cool and follow the rules. Their rules are twisted and out of proportion. They suck as human beings because they want to be all religious with Christianity! They are limiting their own potential and not seeing the actual truth about Christianity. It's about having freedom with a relationship to God through faith that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. Freedom in a relationship via any means is so much different from practicing religion. Chris really sucks and has a distorted view about life, but hey, the human heart is wicked and deceitful already. You can look all nice on the outside but on the inside, it's all chaos!
So what have I been doing besides just masturbating occasionally and feeling great about lasting awhile to porn? I've been feeling like how porn is useless because I'm going on longer each time. It gets boring and it's like this might not even be sex sex anymore with a real girl, if I ever find the right one to marry. Yeah, I'm going to be very sexually active in marriage. Porn isn't helping me to do that because it really tests the conventional standard to begin with. I've been trying to study what creates pleasure in sex but it looks like emotions and taking turns pleasing each other with like an understood language of love is what gets the job done! Looking at porn from a feminist's point of view is wrong too because it's having sex outside of marriage but the emotions and all of it match to what should be in a marriage. In a marriage with all of that good feminist stuff coming straight out of porn and the guy enjoying it like at a sky-rocket pace, then yeah sex is meant to be so fun and it's all for you with the one partner who fell in love with you- your wife. Yeah, it makes all sense and adds up. Masturbating to porno is wrong even though it feels good sometimes. There should be a partnership and communication going on and me having nobody yet, I need to go find her!
It really hurts to have a girl I'm sort of digging having a different perspective of life, so I'm just going okay, friend and I'll hang with her and I'm not convincing her to change. After awhile, she just stays a friend. Sometimes, she shows her romantic interest in me and I'm like, hmmm then.
I'm apologizing to God right now via praying to Jesus that I'm sorry for being so stupid and thank you, for letting me start another day fresh again. I already feel so much better! Amen.
So basically, I'm a total smart aleck and can figuratively tear a huge hole out of nothing on the ground for people to fall into. I like to reach my hand in and forcefully pull them out in an angry fashion and then start lambasting them like a butthead. It's really funny to me now that I think about it and I don't feel bad about it. All I want now is for those people to run far away from me and for me to never see them or just add me on any social media site that I could look at and laugh at them behind their backs.
I ended up setting up some trades and one of them went really well right away. I need to do a rinse and repeat type of method and I'm digging the trading style I'm doing. I'm going to stick to it and trade pretty much volumes without me knowing what I'm doing and just keep working at it a little each day. I don't really mind turning this into a profession for me, and I won't have to deal with the headache of having to clock in at an office from 5 am to 6 pm everyday because that's how it feels with me waking up to drive and coming back home each day.
Oh yeah, lastly I managed to get a small workout in. I need to expand on it and I missed out on reading the Bible from being distracted with my hormones and looking up porno to masturbate to like an idiot. I haven't done it in like a few weeks so yeah, it felt really good! Yet, I think I need to deny myself the pleasure (pun intended) and go after marrying a good girl. It's all of that torture and hard road that I think God is trying to shape me up still with. Yeah, I'm pretty unique and going to probably last for a long time because of my emotions and desires with loving being around people and even those I want to smack around and despise like the lame people at that Hope of God church in Los Angeles.
I'm basically saying that if you end up finding the right person to fall in love with, everything just falls into place. I'm preaching it and I read this from a slick autobiography about the author spending his time sleeping with prostitutes. He would analyze the woman's body and how their sexual prowess was and all of that which guys are prone to doing. In the end, he fell in love with a prostitute! Out of that humor, there's the conclusion that if you meet the right person for whatever context, it's lining up and happening.
With four kids running around Chris and mentally testing him, I'm coming back to really make him stressed out! If Chris was smart, he would just leave and never come back to the old and lame Hope of God church. I'll tell him that to leave if he doesn't want to add me on Facebook because he's already so stupid anyway and I'll tell that to Jarred the same. Obviously, I'm being random with my truthful statements with feelings but emotions are meant to be contradictory from the start anyway. I'm guessing it's a mark to show that we have sinful natures already.
Jesus was melancholy and weeping at the Garden of Gethsemane. It's holy and he was crying about the Father having to abandon him at the cross to pay the ultimate price for washing away all sins to believers who want it. I guess there's nothing selfish then about wanting a friendship with a stupid and silly person like Chris or Jarred. Jarred, I'm thinking is a lazy putz and like a spoiled brat and gets moody when he's convinced something is so right and not getting his way but I'm glad he's wrong, and he's about to get my physical treatment to remind how he was really wrong and he's of no help. Jarred is going down the drain.
Basically, if Jarred was smart too, he would leave that lame church also and never come back. I need to stay cool and follow the rules. Their rules are twisted and out of proportion. They suck as human beings because they want to be all religious with Christianity! They are limiting their own potential and not seeing the actual truth about Christianity. It's about having freedom with a relationship to God through faith that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. Freedom in a relationship via any means is so much different from practicing religion. Chris really sucks and has a distorted view about life, but hey, the human heart is wicked and deceitful already. You can look all nice on the outside but on the inside, it's all chaos!
So what have I been doing besides just masturbating occasionally and feeling great about lasting awhile to porn? I've been feeling like how porn is useless because I'm going on longer each time. It gets boring and it's like this might not even be sex sex anymore with a real girl, if I ever find the right one to marry. Yeah, I'm going to be very sexually active in marriage. Porn isn't helping me to do that because it really tests the conventional standard to begin with. I've been trying to study what creates pleasure in sex but it looks like emotions and taking turns pleasing each other with like an understood language of love is what gets the job done! Looking at porn from a feminist's point of view is wrong too because it's having sex outside of marriage but the emotions and all of it match to what should be in a marriage. In a marriage with all of that good feminist stuff coming straight out of porn and the guy enjoying it like at a sky-rocket pace, then yeah sex is meant to be so fun and it's all for you with the one partner who fell in love with you- your wife. Yeah, it makes all sense and adds up. Masturbating to porno is wrong even though it feels good sometimes. There should be a partnership and communication going on and me having nobody yet, I need to go find her!
It really hurts to have a girl I'm sort of digging having a different perspective of life, so I'm just going okay, friend and I'll hang with her and I'm not convincing her to change. After awhile, she just stays a friend. Sometimes, she shows her romantic interest in me and I'm like, hmmm then.
I'm apologizing to God right now via praying to Jesus that I'm sorry for being so stupid and thank you, for letting me start another day fresh again. I already feel so much better! Amen.
So basically, I'm a total smart aleck and can figuratively tear a huge hole out of nothing on the ground for people to fall into. I like to reach my hand in and forcefully pull them out in an angry fashion and then start lambasting them like a butthead. It's really funny to me now that I think about it and I don't feel bad about it. All I want now is for those people to run far away from me and for me to never see them or just add me on any social media site that I could look at and laugh at them behind their backs.
I ended up setting up some trades and one of them went really well right away. I need to do a rinse and repeat type of method and I'm digging the trading style I'm doing. I'm going to stick to it and trade pretty much volumes without me knowing what I'm doing and just keep working at it a little each day. I don't really mind turning this into a profession for me, and I won't have to deal with the headache of having to clock in at an office from 5 am to 6 pm everyday because that's how it feels with me waking up to drive and coming back home each day.
Oh yeah, lastly I managed to get a small workout in. I need to expand on it and I missed out on reading the Bible from being distracted with my hormones and looking up porno to masturbate to like an idiot. I haven't done it in like a few weeks so yeah, it felt really good! Yet, I think I need to deny myself the pleasure (pun intended) and go after marrying a good girl. It's all of that torture and hard road that I think God is trying to shape me up still with. Yeah, I'm pretty unique and going to probably last for a long time because of my emotions and desires with loving being around people and even those I want to smack around and despise like the lame people at that Hope of God church in Los Angeles.
Thursday, December 7, 2017
Update on Life
So I pretty much had a date with a female friend and yeah, it was just the two of us. She broke up with a decent looking, outwardly pleasant, and hardworking guy. The guy was really frustrated about not getting enough attention from her and wanted more out of her. It was too much for her to handle so she cut him off and he's weeping about it and will probably never get over it. She's pretty much a hot tamale and I had a one-on-one time with her at an awesome restaurant. I paid for the meal too because the food only cost $26 dollars for two people and to stuff ourselves. Man, that was a great price and I can spend that much on myself at an all-you-can-eat BBQ place.
I have another date with another friend coming up and I almost completely forgot about that because this friend of mine wanted to do stuff together again. When I think about this friend, I'm like I'm all used to being around hot, Asian girls. It's like a natural occurrence for me already, so I don't care.
It's really crazy how I might actually be really gifted at managing my own relationships with stupid people ( who make me mad) and nice friends. With the stupid people, I want them all to add me on any social media site. I don't care what it is, I'll even create something new to accommodate them. They are stupid and who cares, why would I stalk their profile besides wanting to look at it and say something to make fun of them?
The smart stupid people will basically leave behind other stupid people, so they will never have to face my wraith of making them add me on Facebook. Okay it's whatever.
On to the real topic, I fell asleep after the dinner with pretty much hot friend (she's stressing out about her cute little sister's issues). I don't think people look at us badly and in fact, I think it looks very favorable for me. She's also like my hot wing woman. Heh, I can put to use her social skills as a hot girl. She hates being pursued from just being seen as hot because she really has a sweet side that she would rather focus on.
I ended up trying to do some trades on my computer and then I just knocked out after. I got pretty close to getting up to work out though. I think what ended my night is that the time was around 9 pm and then I just laid down without changing on the bed and boom, lights out with the computer still running...
I actually like this setup of doing trades, working out, and then studying the Bible as my bed time. I'm still working on this but I think I will repeat this intention again tonight.
I have another date with another friend coming up and I almost completely forgot about that because this friend of mine wanted to do stuff together again. When I think about this friend, I'm like I'm all used to being around hot, Asian girls. It's like a natural occurrence for me already, so I don't care.
It's really crazy how I might actually be really gifted at managing my own relationships with stupid people ( who make me mad) and nice friends. With the stupid people, I want them all to add me on any social media site. I don't care what it is, I'll even create something new to accommodate them. They are stupid and who cares, why would I stalk their profile besides wanting to look at it and say something to make fun of them?
The smart stupid people will basically leave behind other stupid people, so they will never have to face my wraith of making them add me on Facebook. Okay it's whatever.
On to the real topic, I fell asleep after the dinner with pretty much hot friend (she's stressing out about her cute little sister's issues). I don't think people look at us badly and in fact, I think it looks very favorable for me. She's also like my hot wing woman. Heh, I can put to use her social skills as a hot girl. She hates being pursued from just being seen as hot because she really has a sweet side that she would rather focus on.
I ended up trying to do some trades on my computer and then I just knocked out after. I got pretty close to getting up to work out though. I think what ended my night is that the time was around 9 pm and then I just laid down without changing on the bed and boom, lights out with the computer still running...
I actually like this setup of doing trades, working out, and then studying the Bible as my bed time. I'm still working on this but I think I will repeat this intention again tonight.
Wednesday, December 6, 2017
Different Methods
I found out that I fall asleep right after reading the Bible last night! This means that for my daily four priorities that I'm trying to complete, I'm going to have to make it three. I'm not trying to get rid of the Bible, so I'll read it last. What I'm going to save for optional than is cooking if I'm still awake.
My plan will be pretty much to work on my trades right after dinner and then go work out. After coming back, I plan on washing up and doing all of that jazz with exfoliating my skin and growing taller stretches. I will then lastly skim through the Bible with my super long and spiritually enriching commentary for three chapters. It's a lot of spending time because this guy's commentary I'm reading just goes off talking about millions of other topics and different verses just to elaborate on one verse. Man, it's a lot of reading so I'm just going to start skimming through it because I plan to finish it every year anyway. I'm going to try to stay awake as much as possible to skim through three chapters every day before I go to sleep. It will be like my bed time story but in a grown-up fashion. I knocked out so hard yesterday after reading the Bible.
Lastly, if I'm still able to miraculously stay awake, I might as well go for cooking and if I'm still awake after that then might as well binge on anime or something after I finish my other left over priorities on the table.
My plan will be pretty much to work on my trades right after dinner and then go work out. After coming back, I plan on washing up and doing all of that jazz with exfoliating my skin and growing taller stretches. I will then lastly skim through the Bible with my super long and spiritually enriching commentary for three chapters. It's a lot of spending time because this guy's commentary I'm reading just goes off talking about millions of other topics and different verses just to elaborate on one verse. Man, it's a lot of reading so I'm just going to start skimming through it because I plan to finish it every year anyway. I'm going to try to stay awake as much as possible to skim through three chapters every day before I go to sleep. It will be like my bed time story but in a grown-up fashion. I knocked out so hard yesterday after reading the Bible.
Lastly, if I'm still able to miraculously stay awake, I might as well go for cooking and if I'm still awake after that then might as well binge on anime or something after I finish my other left over priorities on the table.
Making Adjustments
Last night, I ended up falling asleep at around 8 pm. I woke up at 4:30 am the next day. This isn't that bad considering how I slept so early to get plenty of sleep in! I'm not really feeling tired at all right now.
I think there's seriously something in my mom's food that just makes you sleepy after eating it in the evening. Or it could be just that I'm getting too old to still live with my parents and my body telling me that I'm a loser by just shutting down like that.
I'm perfectly fine with living my parents so far and I'm trying to find a way to break loose by becoming financially successful. I don't want to work for another company. I want to have so much independence and make a lot of money at the same time. I have so many different goals in mind.
It's the same old stuff that I'm dreaming about and having trouble put together on a consistent basis. It doesn't really matter because it's a huge risk to begin with.
I think there's seriously something in my mom's food that just makes you sleepy after eating it in the evening. Or it could be just that I'm getting too old to still live with my parents and my body telling me that I'm a loser by just shutting down like that.
I'm perfectly fine with living my parents so far and I'm trying to find a way to break loose by becoming financially successful. I don't want to work for another company. I want to have so much independence and make a lot of money at the same time. I have so many different goals in mind.
It's the same old stuff that I'm dreaming about and having trouble put together on a consistent basis. It doesn't really matter because it's a huge risk to begin with.
Monday, December 4, 2017
Living Example
I might very well be one of those short people who are dispelling the myth that you can't find a hot girl to marry just from being short. I've found unattractive girls who were interested in me for a serious relationship and oh yeah, I did find a physically attractive girl who said she wanted a relationship with me. She was a Vietnamese girl who was coming onto me and I think she liked how I tried to be courteous to her and made her laugh from trying to do my best. It's so funny and I think she didn't know what I was getting myself into.
I didn't really like her though because she said she keeps on getting sick. I was like is that why she has a really thin body that looks hot? Okay, so I snubbed her and she got mad at me. Good times! I was crazy and bad and felt like I was spiraling downward and it just wasn't going my direction. I felt restless and anxious and worried about everything and that no one could help me. Man, those emotions sucked. I was just about the most insecure person that a nice person could get.
Flash forward 9 years later, I'm really comfortable being around girls. Sometimes I feel a little aggravated being around a hot girl just because she's taller than me! Man, I get moody underneath and it's like my pre-nervousness but I have so much boldness that I seem to forget about it and feel fine after like 30 seconds of clearing my mind of those thoughts.
There's a girl I've gotten to know really well and care for and she's very sweet to people she cares about. On top of that, she's also physically attractive and she enjoys working out and maintaining a lady-like figure. I'm sexually compatible with her and she said she loves me while showing those subtle signs of expressing intimate interests. It's a little alarming to me because she has an inactive boyfriend in her life that she wants to stay in a relationship with. It's funny and I can't take that away because it goes against my morals. She might just stay status quo with this guy. I don't know what to make of it yet, if I were to get in a relationship with her so I'm just cool with staying great friends with her for the rest of my life! It's basically what we have is something really special already and that it doesn't matter if stuff happens in life like she finally finds courage to marry this guy she jokes about sarcastically. I mean I'm going to find humor in the situation and be cool with whatever in the end because I figure when the right girl comes along with the right timing and all the stars aligning even if it never happens because I suck, I'm going to have a lot of sex in marriage with a crazy hot girl!
I didn't really like her though because she said she keeps on getting sick. I was like is that why she has a really thin body that looks hot? Okay, so I snubbed her and she got mad at me. Good times! I was crazy and bad and felt like I was spiraling downward and it just wasn't going my direction. I felt restless and anxious and worried about everything and that no one could help me. Man, those emotions sucked. I was just about the most insecure person that a nice person could get.
Flash forward 9 years later, I'm really comfortable being around girls. Sometimes I feel a little aggravated being around a hot girl just because she's taller than me! Man, I get moody underneath and it's like my pre-nervousness but I have so much boldness that I seem to forget about it and feel fine after like 30 seconds of clearing my mind of those thoughts.
There's a girl I've gotten to know really well and care for and she's very sweet to people she cares about. On top of that, she's also physically attractive and she enjoys working out and maintaining a lady-like figure. I'm sexually compatible with her and she said she loves me while showing those subtle signs of expressing intimate interests. It's a little alarming to me because she has an inactive boyfriend in her life that she wants to stay in a relationship with. It's funny and I can't take that away because it goes against my morals. She might just stay status quo with this guy. I don't know what to make of it yet, if I were to get in a relationship with her so I'm just cool with staying great friends with her for the rest of my life! It's basically what we have is something really special already and that it doesn't matter if stuff happens in life like she finally finds courage to marry this guy she jokes about sarcastically. I mean I'm going to find humor in the situation and be cool with whatever in the end because I figure when the right girl comes along with the right timing and all the stars aligning even if it never happens because I suck, I'm going to have a lot of sex in marriage with a crazy hot girl!
Limited Success
Well, after posting my to do list on Saturday. I survived in living in that manner. However, on Sunday I already failed to live up to it competently!
I'm surprised how I attempted everything that sucked on my list and even got most of those items off my list though. I did those dreadful growing taller stretches because it's designed for decompressing the spine and in hopes of adding little fluids to gain micro inches. I don't think people care about being 1 mm taller which is .0393 inches. Hey it works and I gained a 1/2 inch- from 5' 2.5 I became 5' 3 and was well passed my growing stage at age 27. I had nothing else going for me, so I was like let's try to gain some inches which I failed at doing.
Yeah, I'm short and tall red necks have told me that especially the guys. One Asian dude who was a jerk told me that I'm so short and that his girlfriend was shorter than me and so it doesn't matter in the end, while laughing at me! I even think about how my shots are going to get blocked all the time while playing basketball.
Anyhow, I'm a scary short dude because I held back statements while I was mad and approached people I was mad at. I told them I wanted something from them and just stayed quiet while continuing to talk and trying to push the envelope in the most subtle manner possible. I was so mad underneath that I was saying stuff to try to be nice, but it made the people I talked to even more mad at me and then they started saying I was scary to people they were discussing to about me behind my back. I don't really care though because all I have to do is just approach them and start talking with full-on honesty and then they look dumb. It's really that simple!
I'm surprised how I attempted everything that sucked on my list and even got most of those items off my list though. I did those dreadful growing taller stretches because it's designed for decompressing the spine and in hopes of adding little fluids to gain micro inches. I don't think people care about being 1 mm taller which is .0393 inches. Hey it works and I gained a 1/2 inch- from 5' 2.5 I became 5' 3 and was well passed my growing stage at age 27. I had nothing else going for me, so I was like let's try to gain some inches which I failed at doing.
Yeah, I'm short and tall red necks have told me that especially the guys. One Asian dude who was a jerk told me that I'm so short and that his girlfriend was shorter than me and so it doesn't matter in the end, while laughing at me! I even think about how my shots are going to get blocked all the time while playing basketball.
Anyhow, I'm a scary short dude because I held back statements while I was mad and approached people I was mad at. I told them I wanted something from them and just stayed quiet while continuing to talk and trying to push the envelope in the most subtle manner possible. I was so mad underneath that I was saying stuff to try to be nice, but it made the people I talked to even more mad at me and then they started saying I was scary to people they were discussing to about me behind my back. I don't really care though because all I have to do is just approach them and start talking with full-on honesty and then they look dumb. It's really that simple!
Saturday, December 2, 2017
Do List
I read a book written by the controversial founder of Scientology L. Ron Hubbard. The book I read was about reaching goals and targeting them. It made a lot of practical sense and brought to light some things that I want to use in my own practice. I don't really care if it's practicing Scientology because like a selfish person I am, I will take something that works else where and stick to my personal beliefs in Christianity!
Anyway, I did a Wikipedia search on Mr. Hubbard and he came across as a total jerk during the later half of his life, which was when he started Scientology. I'm not endorsing that religion and think it didn't help close in and bring ultimate peace and satisfaction within his own soul. He still stayed human while physically abusing his girlfriends and cheating on them!
Well, with him having been a prolific writer and having made money doing it and also being crowned by Guinness Book of World Records as the most published author thanks to his movement, I felt it would be interesting to read up on his view with reaching goals and surprisingly, it had nothing to do with religion. He also has views on how people function, communicate, and understand each other. With this guy who found a religion and was pretty successful at influencing others, I figure why not read up on this so-called technology he discovered and wanted to share with the world for some money. I guess if he wanted to stay rich with his $600 million assets that he would go on to make, then he would want to speak some truths in his books.
What threw me off a little and made me laugh was that with all the Asian cultures he studied, he really dissed them in his diary with racial slurs. Okay so maybe I gave him a little too much credit with his character and bought those books he wrote on communication. It seems to have some brainwashing techniques on there and I don't know why I bought into it. Probably because my friend was like buy it and I was thinking this guy with his interest in humanity, would want to leave something for us to pick up on.
Anyhow, I loved that book he wrote up on targets and goals. It's really good despite me not at all aligning with the Scientology philosophy. So here's my basic do list and I will be trying to get more detailed using that Admin scale technique Hubbard wrote up on.
My strategy so far is do the easy ones first and get the priorities out of the way for the day. The daily is something that I'm doing everyday. The ones that suck are the ones that I struggle with and know I need to do. The things with time is the one I will do if I'm in the mood for them. The rewards are the ones I will indulge myself in after completing at least the easy, priorities, daily sections, and having attempted to do all the things that suck for me. This is practicing by theory of course, so a lot of my thinking has been like that's my reward today!
DO LIST
-easy-
hair appointment
buy gopro
buy garmin watch
buy season pass snowboarding
buy beach body workout dance dvd
buy car cover cleaner
cooking ingredients, cook books, recipes
prepare clothes
organize
sleep
mail
laundry
-sucks-
dentist appt
AAA insurance
car recall fix
car radio, cd stuck
grow taller / spray
work
-priority-
trade / Bible study
gym time switch off with climbing, upper body to lower body switch, basketball, run, swim, weights, routine
cook
DAILY
face wash
teeth
herbalife supplement take restore
blog
texting people
fantasy football
delete e-mails
TIME
trading videos
spiritual books
writing tablet app
recording mic / software
photo print, edit
buy gimbal support
app programming idea
find hot girlfriend to marry and she's into sex
planning books
REWARD
oc ice skating (Floyd)
guitar
piano
poker
tv
friends, scheduling or attending events
games
skateboard
sexual interests (?)
surf internet
FUTURE
car oil change, wash car, gas
hair apt
pay CC bills
Friday, December 1, 2017
Managing Time
Well yesterday it felt like I was going off into junk food mode in a spiritual manner. I did manage to read the Bible and tried to stay up for it. How I did that was I kept myself occupied with playing online poker and whenever I sat out of a hand I would study a verse. It managed to keep me up longer than I expected with my sleepiness.
Afterwards, I just went off surfing the Internet while being in a weird mood. I guess after having been through that it's like I know what I want that I'm seeking after but at the moment, I'm going about it all wrong. Then, it's forgive me God and time lost for my consequences. I could do so much better.
I think giving into some of my cravings is like eating and satisfying myself with junk food. In moderation and having the right spiritual context, I'm sure it would be all good, but it isn't really aligned with the Lord's ways right now for me.
It looks like as weird as it feels, I'm going to need to deny myself those time-consuming acts and go for having them fulfilled in the most pure and satisfying context. Basically, my level of patience isn't that good while having a decent head on my shoulders, which allows me to just phase out while being sucked into something that eats up my time!
I pretty much have a basic routine that I would love to follow through with on a daily basis. On top of that everything else would pretty much be my extra-curricular activities. I'm glad that I'm happy with what I'm putting on here isn't really revealing everything, but I've said much to myself already and satisfied.
I guess everything just adds up in the end by just pursuing after something. I'm a little mad thinking about Jarred at that old and lame Hope of God Church in LA. He was like things don't add up to me and basically saying to quit it. What a moron! I would really show him up these days. I don't really care though about having this moodiness with him because I still want him to be my Facebook friend even while I'm going through this personal episode of being mad at him from time to time.
Afterwards, I just went off surfing the Internet while being in a weird mood. I guess after having been through that it's like I know what I want that I'm seeking after but at the moment, I'm going about it all wrong. Then, it's forgive me God and time lost for my consequences. I could do so much better.
I think giving into some of my cravings is like eating and satisfying myself with junk food. In moderation and having the right spiritual context, I'm sure it would be all good, but it isn't really aligned with the Lord's ways right now for me.
It looks like as weird as it feels, I'm going to need to deny myself those time-consuming acts and go for having them fulfilled in the most pure and satisfying context. Basically, my level of patience isn't that good while having a decent head on my shoulders, which allows me to just phase out while being sucked into something that eats up my time!
I pretty much have a basic routine that I would love to follow through with on a daily basis. On top of that everything else would pretty much be my extra-curricular activities. I'm glad that I'm happy with what I'm putting on here isn't really revealing everything, but I've said much to myself already and satisfied.
I guess everything just adds up in the end by just pursuing after something. I'm a little mad thinking about Jarred at that old and lame Hope of God Church in LA. He was like things don't add up to me and basically saying to quit it. What a moron! I would really show him up these days. I don't really care though about having this moodiness with him because I still want him to be my Facebook friend even while I'm going through this personal episode of being mad at him from time to time.
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