My week is pretty much centered on working and relaxing during the weekend. I'm going to have to be pretty serious if I want to get very good at trading and keep at it. The secret to being a millionaire trader is to continue diversifying the portfolio with more profitable investments. It's going to take one step at a time and there's really no get rich quick scheme going on. Ideally, the trick to being happy and rich is to be a position trader.
I can literally see myself getting on board with this now and practicing to make myself better. I made a promise to God to visit some idiots after I become a bloody millionaire and obtain my six pack abs! I'm going to tell them the truth and be like I don't care if they still don't want me to be around and can't let the past go, I'll let them go. I honestly want to hear them say that they can't handle me, so I can laugh in front of their faces and make my way to the exit and back to the parking lot. It's just the way it is; it can be true in that you might be just too hot to handle for someone! I totally accept it and am not crying about it like I regularly did and from used to being a moron.
Yeah, it's not hard to think like a winner and let the losers continue to walk out of your life! Oh man it feels good to finally see things for what they really are worth and not needing to message angry comments to those pathetic individuals. They are a bunch of lucky and ugly people to have some money and a family to raise. I wish I had a lot more money than they did all put together and also a beautiful family with a very attractive and loyal wife. I think that's living the life, but not everyone can obtain it. I'm getting too old to raise many, many grandchildren in the future. Maybe I could skip some years and adopt like five babies in the place of one so that I can raise them all at once and then they can call me dad while getting married and then have grandchildren to make me happy in the future! Hey, I could look forward to great grandchildren too now. There's no limit when you can openly accept things in your life, but I guess I could settle for a few kids of my own too someday.
I'll have to wait and see but since I'm an old man, I could get away with marrying a younger lady too if I wanted to. I'll have to really think long and hard about that one but I might try to marry around the same age as me and then go for adopting while being committed to be by each other's side.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
Thursday, June 28, 2018
Back to Discipline
I think it doesn't matter anymore with the length of time it's taking to get to where I want to be. I'm going to go with the flow. From having decent job hours, I could pretty much focus on trading right when I get back home and then go for working out and then finish off my day with studying the Bible or watching some training videos on how to trade. I think I'll just save hanging out with friends and cooking for special occasions. The more decisive I can be with sticking to my schedule, the better it will be for me in reaching my goal.
In addition to accepting this discipline and any negative predicament I'm in, I believe that it's fun. I'm going to have to let go of my insecurities like not having any fun wife to go out with and not having enough time to do everything I want to do. I might as well save my options to explore for fun during the weekends then. For my busy days, I'll limit it to a certain set of activities to do out of discipline and still try to enjoy it. It is after all something I truly desire to achieve and always get better at.
In addition to accepting this discipline and any negative predicament I'm in, I believe that it's fun. I'm going to have to let go of my insecurities like not having any fun wife to go out with and not having enough time to do everything I want to do. I might as well save my options to explore for fun during the weekends then. For my busy days, I'll limit it to a certain set of activities to do out of discipline and still try to enjoy it. It is after all something I truly desire to achieve and always get better at.
Getting Distracted
I realized yesterday that after my mom told me how the South Koreans knocked out Germany from the World Cup, I spent my time reading up on comments I could Google. After doing this, I didn't get much then after and knocked out while being unable to do my daily tasks! I woke up feeling dizzy and sweaty while being just in my underwear.
I don't know if I caught a cold yet, but I do have a minor headache that's been going on all day. The vertigo might have come from being too exhausted and I'm still working today and trying to tough it out. I've been able to hang on at work so far, but when I get home, I'm just going to take a nice shower and ensure myself with having a good night's sleep. I'll just put myself to sleep while watching a video about financial trading, which still works for me.
Other than feeling bored, I do feel very privileged to have a job at my family's company and to work as a programmer. I want to make it on my own to prove to myself and anyone in the world that I can be successful with my own business plan. I'm still learning to manage and also make proper use of my time. Maybe tomorrow will be the day that I feel very healthy and able to go after putting myself in superior shape again.
I don't know if I caught a cold yet, but I do have a minor headache that's been going on all day. The vertigo might have come from being too exhausted and I'm still working today and trying to tough it out. I've been able to hang on at work so far, but when I get home, I'm just going to take a nice shower and ensure myself with having a good night's sleep. I'll just put myself to sleep while watching a video about financial trading, which still works for me.
Other than feeling bored, I do feel very privileged to have a job at my family's company and to work as a programmer. I want to make it on my own to prove to myself and anyone in the world that I can be successful with my own business plan. I'm still learning to manage and also make proper use of my time. Maybe tomorrow will be the day that I feel very healthy and able to go after putting myself in superior shape again.
Digging Myself Out of the Hole
Yesterday night, I don't remember much with what I did except that I drove home while sleepy and then after having dinner that my mom cooked, I knocked out. Living with my parents is starting to feel old only because my mom is very nosy with me sometimes. I stopped replying to some personal inquiries that my mom makes with me. I don't really feel comfortable with my mom because she's just going to go off trying to tell me what is right to her. I don't see eye to eye, and I find it too annoying so I'm just staying quiet about it.
Eventually, I will move out of this home and live on my own. It looks like my closest single friends are all in a similar situation, except for those who are married so I'm not really going to be able to room with anyone. For the time being, I will just continue working on myself until I get there. It's just how things turned out for me and I accept it. It seems like eventually becoming rich and stronger with a great body will alone attract a lot of single and pretty ladies, but I'm not sure if it would be right for me to pick one of them! I'll just go ahead and keep focusing on putting myself in that direction and worry about stuff happening as it comes up.
Eventually, I will move out of this home and live on my own. It looks like my closest single friends are all in a similar situation, except for those who are married so I'm not really going to be able to room with anyone. For the time being, I will just continue working on myself until I get there. It's just how things turned out for me and I accept it. It seems like eventually becoming rich and stronger with a great body will alone attract a lot of single and pretty ladies, but I'm not sure if it would be right for me to pick one of them! I'll just go ahead and keep focusing on putting myself in that direction and worry about stuff happening as it comes up.
Wednesday, June 27, 2018
Getting Myself Prepared
Right now, I feel like I have a lot of time on my hands with the choices I have planned to go after. It's like a big burden has been lifted and that I'm going to have more wiggle room to finish my tasks. I guess it's while I'm still in this mindset that I shouldn't go into play mode and still be diligent. I am having fun by the way, so I guess I should leave it at that then and continue to make some more progress.
It could be just that my body is a little exhausted and wanting to rest, but I have it on overdrive right now so my energy level feels low. It could be just that feeling but I don't think it should even matter. Since I made plans, I might as well try to live up to each one of them then and see how it goes. I'm feeling really excited about getting out of work now and going onto my personal development mode.
I think I'll postpone all of my playful activities to the weekend and focus on the important stuff that connects very well with me. Last night, I did get only like two hours of good sleep because a friend kept me up while ailing about something bothering her. Hanging out with close friends is actually a priority for me and it's a very fun thing to do right after work. Today, I get to continue to do all of my other things I have in mind for doing. I haven't cooked in awhile, so maybe today could be the day that I actually prep something for tomorrow. I find that running through the list of small errands I have and completing them fast as I can really helps me stay on the go and keep it fresh with the same old routine that I'm doing.
It could be just that my body is a little exhausted and wanting to rest, but I have it on overdrive right now so my energy level feels low. It could be just that feeling but I don't think it should even matter. Since I made plans, I might as well try to live up to each one of them then and see how it goes. I'm feeling really excited about getting out of work now and going onto my personal development mode.
I think I'll postpone all of my playful activities to the weekend and focus on the important stuff that connects very well with me. Last night, I did get only like two hours of good sleep because a friend kept me up while ailing about something bothering her. Hanging out with close friends is actually a priority for me and it's a very fun thing to do right after work. Today, I get to continue to do all of my other things I have in mind for doing. I haven't cooked in awhile, so maybe today could be the day that I actually prep something for tomorrow. I find that running through the list of small errands I have and completing them fast as I can really helps me stay on the go and keep it fresh with the same old routine that I'm doing.
Finding Personal Peace With Conflicts
Honestly, I think I have been feeling this peacefulness with myself ever since I decided to stop caring about a few people who were jerks with me. The way that led me to this peaceful indifference about stuff that happened is how I'm laughing about it. I can be totally honest at the same while making fun of those past jerks in person with them and then laughing hard. I can invite them to laugh along with me! There's practically no worries for me in dealing with it now, so I personally don't care.
I'm glad that I'm free from feeling all of that crazy nonsense now and when I come to think about it, it is actually quite funny. It's sad for me though that I had to face it, but I'm okay with learning to let it go while even forgetting their faces.
I'm glad that I'm free from feeling all of that crazy nonsense now and when I come to think about it, it is actually quite funny. It's sad for me though that I had to face it, but I'm okay with learning to let it go while even forgetting their faces.
Benefits of Understanding Priorities
From having sorted out the tasks with my busy life, I'm pretty excited about leaving my job to go back home and getting going with my side projects. It doesn't really feel overwhelming at all because it's just what I've been doing already plus letting my mind wander all over the place. I'm coming to an acceptance from being an adult that I'm different in my own way even though I'm lucky to have a cute friend who shares common interests with me while showing a few signs of interest with me and that we get to hang out often every week. It's not odd for me to accept now that she could end up becoming my girlfriend eventually.
The feeling is literally quite nice with not stressing that much about stuff and being on top of your own daily things to do. I don't even have TV or playing games listed anymore because I've found a bunch of other cool things to keep myself occupied. Well, I'm still going to get the craving every once in awhile to let my mind loose and zone out while having fun watching some shows, but I'm getting really used to keeping it consistent now.
The feeling is literally quite nice with not stressing that much about stuff and being on top of your own daily things to do. I don't even have TV or playing games listed anymore because I've found a bunch of other cool things to keep myself occupied. Well, I'm still going to get the craving every once in awhile to let my mind loose and zone out while having fun watching some shows, but I'm getting really used to keeping it consistent now.
Improving With Trading A Lot
For my personality type, I'm realizing that to get to the road of becoming a millionaire financial trader, it's going to require long-term trading skills. Some people enjoy the rush with quick day trading schemes, but for myself, I would rather sleep while the market is moving with volatility and profit from large moves that occurred in the market. It's pretty much not going to make much sense to people who have never traded before.
I'm just looking for reversal swings in the market and entering at that time. I will have to maintain my own trading journal someday, but for awhile, it's been about just practicing my method and trying to land on something useful that I could use.
I'm just looking for reversal swings in the market and entering at that time. I will have to maintain my own trading journal someday, but for awhile, it's been about just practicing my method and trying to land on something useful that I could use.
Figured Out Personal Schedule
I have finally managed to brainstorm and simplify my personal priorities into three categories. Work days, simple errands, and weekends. Basically everything will be going on auto-pilot because I can keep in mind of my main desires on a daily basis except for my errands eventually. On my work days, I will have a set list of things to do and on the weekends, it is my free days so I'm pretty much at liberty to do whatever I want. The only thing for me then is to just keep a running list of my errands to do and check them off. It's really quite simple to sort out after having sat through this mess for awhile!
For my work days, it's limited to some things to do because I'm only going to have a few hours before I naturally put myself to bed from exhaustion. This is my list that I have been fairly consistent at keeping up with on a daily basis:
blog
trade related
nutrition cook
work out, grow taller stretches
bible
hang out with close friend / dinner or date, or necessary appointments
hair growth
trade related
nutrition cook
work out, grow taller stretches
bible
hang out with close friend / dinner or date, or necessary appointments
hair growth
face wash
small errands
It all comes down to committing to them personally and trying to do everything on time. This is something I have been getting used to stressing out over and from being older, it's just not feeling so hard for me to be satisfied going after these tasks and focusing on them.
Tuesday, June 26, 2018
Taking Proper Steps
I believe that a large portion of having fun and ending up happy will really come from investing in your personal life. Unfortunately, some people are pretty dumb like one of my buddies and he just keeps on thinking about how others are out to get him when he really isn't much of an appealing target to begin with. I guess he has psychological issues and it's mainly from him not having that much intelligence and trying to live on survival instinct so he's practically wasting energy on those thoughts when he could be placing the negative focus to build upon himself. He just can't do it and has a permanently, fixed mindset so there's really not much I can do about it, after all this time with trying to encourage him. I'm not going to be the man to change him, but I do make honest remarks with him that make me laugh and from my last comments I texted him, he's gone quiet with me!
I haven't had much close interaction with guys lately, but been with girls. I love being friends with girls! It's a proper step in my personal journey with eventually finding my ideal single girlfriend to date and marry. I just need to have the money by the time I'm actually able to land her when I'm an old man. To conclude upon the buddy, I think I just need to leave him alone for him to get so scared about his own mess that he realizes it was nothing after all, which would make him mad at himself for a second and then laugh about it silently which is what he does to himself regularly.
I haven't had much close interaction with guys lately, but been with girls. I love being friends with girls! It's a proper step in my personal journey with eventually finding my ideal single girlfriend to date and marry. I just need to have the money by the time I'm actually able to land her when I'm an old man. To conclude upon the buddy, I think I just need to leave him alone for him to get so scared about his own mess that he realizes it was nothing after all, which would make him mad at himself for a second and then laugh about it silently which is what he does to himself regularly.
Planning and Executing
I believe that a large portion of being satisfied with living my days will really come from planning with all my heart and then carrying them out with all my efforts. It's all personal goals to go after and it makes me happy. It's sad that a few people became crazy with me from having anger issues because they couldn't let something that didn't even matter go. I was complaining to them about it and I'm glad I didn't follow through with getting lost in the matter about it. I would have been so emotionally carried away with it and it would have distracted me and hindered me from going after achieving my personal dreams. I'm now calm about the situation and aware of the tools I have available to dispose of their stupidity towards me! It's all about having fun and I really don't care at this point because they are imbeciles.
It's like having this charged feeling of confidence and being accepting of the past without requiring much struggles of any depressed feelings. It's quite the opposite and I feel free from the silly debacle that took me out of commission for awhile. I'm just glad that I have options now and it just doesn't matter what they decide to do in the end because I already know where I stand with them and how I will conduct myself no matter what. I'm stubborn in this area of acting morally proper while openly making honest remarks that will make them look bad now and laughing about it with others and maybe no one because I could be making fun of them too!
Honestly, I feel like what they did doesn't matter and they were just being stupid and trying to act almost cult-like with me. I wasn't joining their club and partaking in weird rituals with them, so yeah it's okay that I fell out with them and made them feel like I ripped their hearts out! Because I didn't agree with them, they became angry and that's it.
It's like having this charged feeling of confidence and being accepting of the past without requiring much struggles of any depressed feelings. It's quite the opposite and I feel free from the silly debacle that took me out of commission for awhile. I'm just glad that I have options now and it just doesn't matter what they decide to do in the end because I already know where I stand with them and how I will conduct myself no matter what. I'm stubborn in this area of acting morally proper while openly making honest remarks that will make them look bad now and laughing about it with others and maybe no one because I could be making fun of them too!
Honestly, I feel like what they did doesn't matter and they were just being stupid and trying to act almost cult-like with me. I wasn't joining their club and partaking in weird rituals with them, so yeah it's okay that I fell out with them and made them feel like I ripped their hearts out! Because I didn't agree with them, they became angry and that's it.
Finding Proper Control and Balance
A few of my biggest obstacles include being pretty old at 35 and still day dreaming about stuff and laughing about things while idolizing my own self-worth which isn't much and feeling great about it! It's pretty silly to mention it but this is what I do with myself. I don't think people like hearing things about themselves that are silly from others in general and makes them mad. This is what I have a tendency of saying to people who make me mad. I'm already prepared for the worst because I've been practicing with being pretty open with myself.
At the beginning of my practice with self-awareness, I felt like crying about stuff because it felt things weren't going well for me. It's very painful and not fun but when that stage passed, I came to a better understanding of acceptance. From having this acceptance, I'm able to be honest about my perceptions with people and they end up appreciating me for telling them most of the time. I'm still friends with them to this day and even with a buddy who I embarrassed and have the potential to do a lot more of that to him.
At the beginning of my practice with self-awareness, I felt like crying about stuff because it felt things weren't going well for me. It's very painful and not fun but when that stage passed, I came to a better understanding of acceptance. From having this acceptance, I'm able to be honest about my perceptions with people and they end up appreciating me for telling them most of the time. I'm still friends with them to this day and even with a buddy who I embarrassed and have the potential to do a lot more of that to him.
Simplifying Tasks
Ideally I believe that blogging on here is actually part of personal growth even though I didn't realize it until this very second for sharing this thought. I think I just challenge people's comfort zones in general from being a short guy with an interesting array of thoughts that I love to express with those affected by me, negatively and positively.
One thing I'm doing is that I feel I'm delivering a bit late on schedule with everything that I'm attempting to do. Overall, I'm just connecting with myself here and this is what blogging for me is all about. What I set myself out to do with this post is to mention my tasks I have in mind with doing. However, listing it out doesn't seem that fun for me because I'm just not ready to accept it with passion and it might just leave me feeling a cold stare at them.
One thing I'm doing is that I feel I'm delivering a bit late on schedule with everything that I'm attempting to do. Overall, I'm just connecting with myself here and this is what blogging for me is all about. What I set myself out to do with this post is to mention my tasks I have in mind with doing. However, listing it out doesn't seem that fun for me because I'm just not ready to accept it with passion and it might just leave me feeling a cold stare at them.
Work Days and Relaxing Days
I'm realizing that for my busy days I want to focus on personal growth until I'm actually there. I will worry about what to do after I get there because I already see the personal incentives for myself. I will have the confidence to live on my own with a very nice home and a lot of free time on my hands to go out and find a single girl who is my ideal type to date.
I'll just go for adopting kids then since I'm pretty old if the woman I decide to marry is too old for it by then. I think having one actual child and then adopting a few kids around the same age should be good enough to create a happy family. I don't mind raising other people's kids to be honest.
I'll just go for adopting kids then since I'm pretty old if the woman I decide to marry is too old for it by then. I think having one actual child and then adopting a few kids around the same age should be good enough to create a happy family. I don't mind raising other people's kids to be honest.
Balancing Out My Schedule
I sort of have this need to continue to work on myself. For the time being, I think I've met only one girl who I believe is my ideal type but she's married so it looks like I'm going to have wait around for another. I just really want to have fun with my time and to allow it to be an extremely rewarding experience. I'm practically a busy person just like a lot of normal working adults out there.
There's one area where I need to come to terms with and it's just not being so concerned anymore about the negativity a few people directed at me from being so crazy. I can't really say it's my fault now because it was all them not being able to accept something. I have time to resolve it on the weekend these days now for fun and to make myself happy again but I made a promise with God to make myself a millionaire and have a six pack! The six pack is a lot closer than the million dollars for me at this moment, but the path is laid out for me in how I want to go about it.
Overall, it really doesn't matter in the end and it's just something I'm doing because I'm finding it to be funny with discovering more negatives about the people who were out of it with me and to let them know about it while revealing it to others.
There's one area where I need to come to terms with and it's just not being so concerned anymore about the negativity a few people directed at me from being so crazy. I can't really say it's my fault now because it was all them not being able to accept something. I have time to resolve it on the weekend these days now for fun and to make myself happy again but I made a promise with God to make myself a millionaire and have a six pack! The six pack is a lot closer than the million dollars for me at this moment, but the path is laid out for me in how I want to go about it.
Overall, it really doesn't matter in the end and it's just something I'm doing because I'm finding it to be funny with discovering more negatives about the people who were out of it with me and to let them know about it while revealing it to others.
Back to Adjustments
It appears that I'm going to have to prioritize based on my needs. The toughest part for me is having to deal with some cravings of wanting to be married to a beautiful lady and enjoying the family while being well off financially. I guess I can call that a desire while I keep on aging! I feel very fortunate to now be able to see things better for what they really are and it just belongs to some intense laboring and having acceptance.
Because of my busy work schedule and my personal demands of how I want to live, I believe that I'm going to have to just run through the motion for now and labor pretty well with where I want to go in life. I'm not really going to be able to put that many hours during my busy days from expecting myself to be tired. Maybe when my schedule clears up, I'll have a better shot of managing more fun stuff to do.
Okay, so I now want to become a physically fit, financial trader who is in tune with the Bible! Yeah, it's hard but that's who I want to be for making a living. I guess the weekend which are my days that I'm off will be where I get to add on some breathing room. I'm also going to need to find a Christian fellowship eventually for myself to also grow in.
Because of my busy work schedule and my personal demands of how I want to live, I believe that I'm going to have to just run through the motion for now and labor pretty well with where I want to go in life. I'm not really going to be able to put that many hours during my busy days from expecting myself to be tired. Maybe when my schedule clears up, I'll have a better shot of managing more fun stuff to do.
Okay, so I now want to become a physically fit, financial trader who is in tune with the Bible! Yeah, it's hard but that's who I want to be for making a living. I guess the weekend which are my days that I'm off will be where I get to add on some breathing room. I'm also going to need to find a Christian fellowship eventually for myself to also grow in.
Monday, June 25, 2018
Paying Attention To Details
Something I struggle with on a daily basis is that I forget one detail and then will go back to it right away. If I'm cleaning my room at my parent's big home then I'll be walking back and forth with moving things sometimes. While this is happening, I've learned to not stress myself out and to take it in stride. It's just been about willing myself to get tasks done and they just keep on piling up. They are pretty much all side projects that I have never been able to even get started with yet.
What I think is going to help me a lot is to just be aware of my surroundings and priorities. If I'm in the mood for entertainment, then sometimes that overtakes me before realizing that I should be getting back to my priority. I do wish to be successful though financially and to do it on my own while being able to enjoy a lot of free time. I want to be successful without having to work with anyone nor do anything illegal but just being smart and good at something. It's pretty much a skill that I will have to work for before enjoying this type of success and it just goes for anyone who wants to cross this similar path.
I had a run-in with the law a few times because of some idiots at a church who couldn't tolerate something about me that really doesn't matter. They didn't really know what it was that was bugging them about me, so they just focused on the negative energy and couldn't do much about it. They were just having trouble letting it go from being weird people and it wasn't very serious. Yeah, I guess it happens and I'm not surprised that church is actually small in numbers because not many Christian believers would probably in their right mind attend that church anyway, unless it was some calling or served some purpose of making them feel like they belonged there. I actually had the later feeling more than the first so it really hurt to get blamed for something that wasn't serious. They were terrified of me because they were going out of control and being imbeciles and of course with them suspecting me being mad at them, who really wouldn't be scared of getting killed after being really rude and crazy like that? The fact that I realize this and am able to communicate it clearly with those I'm close to now, it's been easier to make adjustments with their flaws and still have fun.
What I think is going to help me a lot is to just be aware of my surroundings and priorities. If I'm in the mood for entertainment, then sometimes that overtakes me before realizing that I should be getting back to my priority. I do wish to be successful though financially and to do it on my own while being able to enjoy a lot of free time. I want to be successful without having to work with anyone nor do anything illegal but just being smart and good at something. It's pretty much a skill that I will have to work for before enjoying this type of success and it just goes for anyone who wants to cross this similar path.
I had a run-in with the law a few times because of some idiots at a church who couldn't tolerate something about me that really doesn't matter. They didn't really know what it was that was bugging them about me, so they just focused on the negative energy and couldn't do much about it. They were just having trouble letting it go from being weird people and it wasn't very serious. Yeah, I guess it happens and I'm not surprised that church is actually small in numbers because not many Christian believers would probably in their right mind attend that church anyway, unless it was some calling or served some purpose of making them feel like they belonged there. I actually had the later feeling more than the first so it really hurt to get blamed for something that wasn't serious. They were terrified of me because they were going out of control and being imbeciles and of course with them suspecting me being mad at them, who really wouldn't be scared of getting killed after being really rude and crazy like that? The fact that I realize this and am able to communicate it clearly with those I'm close to now, it's been easier to make adjustments with their flaws and still have fun.
Getting Used To Hard Work
Something I learned about myself while traveling with only a girl for a whole week is that when I'm on vacation, I take a lot longer than I would while being on work days. It's like I can procrastinate by looking at stuff that will just entertain me, but not really help me out in getting things done. From realizing this thing, if I would only put in a little more effort, then it might actually be pretty fun in addition to being rewarding with seeing myself completing tasks.
I guess it's just negative energy then sometimes because I hate being all on my own. It can get a little lonely at times, but also boring because it can feel like I'm being aimless with a goal I have in mind. These are all only feelings by the way, but the end result is that it's been about coming to an acceptance with everything going on with me.
Being armed with new skills and also being pretty chill while diligent, it's pretty crazy in that I'm hanging out with ladies and they are treating me out too! They are cool friends by the way and my colleagues I've kept in touch with have been like way to go with me. I might as have fun with that because I'm still single and looking. I guess it doesn't hurt that four of the girls I regularly hang out with are single and they are also siblings with each other by pairs. It's just double the fun I guess and getting to know their personality.
They all have complemented me in my friendship with a very sweet girl I met on a meetup website. I believe that she is still taken and I don't really want any involvement there. I guess it works then to go to those meetups and enjoy company with people while doing something fun. I mean that's what it is all about really. It's really a pleasure to host meetups and even contribute to it for the better enjoyment of everybody.
Honestly, I'm so short though and have very crazy interests compared to everybody else. I'm not weird these days, so it looks like I've been better at having girls accept me rather than guys who might think I'm an oddball while being their potential competition. I'm not really playing to win against them so it's just weird how things play out sometimes. I guess it's the ones who are lucky enough to have stable relationships and trust their partners who are good to be around and those other guys who have selfish interests can just get up and walk out of my life.
I guess it's just negative energy then sometimes because I hate being all on my own. It can get a little lonely at times, but also boring because it can feel like I'm being aimless with a goal I have in mind. These are all only feelings by the way, but the end result is that it's been about coming to an acceptance with everything going on with me.
Being armed with new skills and also being pretty chill while diligent, it's pretty crazy in that I'm hanging out with ladies and they are treating me out too! They are cool friends by the way and my colleagues I've kept in touch with have been like way to go with me. I might as have fun with that because I'm still single and looking. I guess it doesn't hurt that four of the girls I regularly hang out with are single and they are also siblings with each other by pairs. It's just double the fun I guess and getting to know their personality.
They all have complemented me in my friendship with a very sweet girl I met on a meetup website. I believe that she is still taken and I don't really want any involvement there. I guess it works then to go to those meetups and enjoy company with people while doing something fun. I mean that's what it is all about really. It's really a pleasure to host meetups and even contribute to it for the better enjoyment of everybody.
Honestly, I'm so short though and have very crazy interests compared to everybody else. I'm not weird these days, so it looks like I've been better at having girls accept me rather than guys who might think I'm an oddball while being their potential competition. I'm not really playing to win against them so it's just weird how things play out sometimes. I guess it's the ones who are lucky enough to have stable relationships and trust their partners who are good to be around and those other guys who have selfish interests can just get up and walk out of my life.
Wow, Staying Focused
During this week long excursion with an unrelated girl I'm close to and treat like family, I got to learn that I actually care for this special lady friend. She's been calling me a big brother or brother while introducing me as her friend to others and sometimes she adds that I'm like her big brother. She even added in a subtle hint that she has a soft spot for me. I don't really know what that means, but I'm cool with not asking so far. I definitely see a potential with her digging me romantically and I just think it's cool. I'm not really trying to initiate it because I still see some flaws with her that I might have to work out. She responds really well to me and we had a few arguments and she was like tired of talking to me and like didn't engage me further while labeling me as a normal person who sides with others instead of her.
Maybe because we agree with each other that we are family, we can see each other like adopted siblings but it doesn't mean that romantic potential would be limited. I mean no legal papers went into the process and we just bonded really well and she's been showing signs of being a hopeful partner to me. Yeah, it's quite funny in a way to be really close to her and seeing those girly emotions come out of her with me. I just continue to be honest by all accounts and with all the time we spent together, it feels like we've gotten to know each other pretty well over the last year.
Maybe because we agree with each other that we are family, we can see each other like adopted siblings but it doesn't mean that romantic potential would be limited. I mean no legal papers went into the process and we just bonded really well and she's been showing signs of being a hopeful partner to me. Yeah, it's quite funny in a way to be really close to her and seeing those girly emotions come out of her with me. I just continue to be honest by all accounts and with all the time we spent together, it feels like we've gotten to know each other pretty well over the last year.
Been Long Gone
I went on a hiking trip with the girl who I think likes me. I now only think she may like me a little and shows a few signs of thinking I'm dreamy or something. I don't really know but it was just us two hanging out for a week while going on a trip to Canada. It just ended up with us two because it's really hard to get others who are at about our hiking level to enjoy the beautiful scenery with us.
When my mom asked me if we ended up holding hands, I just started laughing right there. At this point of my old age at 35 and still being single, my mother no longer cares about who I marry as long as I like her. I'm honestly glad that I couldn't put the moves on some girls in the past because I might want to regret that today.
Speaking from a guy's perspective, it's nice to be single sometimes and only sometimes because I can find time to fulfill some more ambitions instead of having to dedicate myself more to spending time with a family. I mean it's not bad and I would love to have it once I've successfully fulfilled my financial dreams.
It's only natural for people to want to start a family once they have had the best education they can get and enough money to support one. With me being old and still feeling quite young and trying to move around and build muscle while not being quite so mentally active as I used to be ten years ago, I think the only thing my mom worries about is how I'm getting too old to have kids. I'm just not that worried about having them and this bothers my mom.
I honestly think if my mom really wanted to have grandkids then she shouldn't really have felt that I would do so and go for raising more kids. I'm also a lot shorter in height than the average even though my mom tries to say it's only a little and play it off. I accept my circumstances and it's no worries really. People in the world expect others to look a certain way and if that's something you weren't born with, then there's really nothing you can do about it. I mean it's important for attracting others but if it wasn't gifted to you, then that's really something you can't use and just have to deal with it. I'm totally okay with feeling sad about this girl who I think may like me not really showing those signs anymore and saying I'm just a brother. I just know that I care for her and want her to be happy and it's a great opportunity to me and I just feel blessed to have it.
I mean she's not a perfect individual, and I have a pretty good idea with the type I would like to marry and she's probably around somewhere and getting picked up already by other lucky guys. I guess it's just fate then and I'll have to see where this close relationship I have with this girl ends up.
Wednesday, June 13, 2018
Cool, I Think a Cute Friend Likes Me and Here's Why
I've been hanging around with this girl friend for awhile now and she's been talking about how she doesn't feel comfortable being out in the public. She talks about getting therapy for being anti-social, but she's really comfortable being around me for support. Okay, that's cool and I'm there for her because we are like family. She calls me a "friend" to other people and I just nod to them while giving a smile about it. It stings only a little because I don't have a girlfriend and she's actually pretty cute. I accept my circumstances, but lately I've been picking up on these subtle signs that she may have a romantic interest in me. It's not weird or anything, but seems all so totally natural from her end.
First of all, she holds a high standards with the girls I choose to date and a decent looking close friend of hers has expressed a little interest in me and she's just playing it off and not giving in to help us meet. It's cool because her friend has a kid while being a chill, intelligent, and pretty single mom with a boyfriend she wants to dump. I think that's nice of her to want me to not get into some complications in a relationship with a growing child and also possible ex being the father.
The biggest clue that I'm picking up on is very subtle body language. When we hang out, she's usually associating me with being so fun because that's right we do fun stuff, but that's not the deal maker. It's normal to hang out and be friends and have so much fun. It's like I'm going through the motion with her a lot and I feel bored but just give in to what she wants to do sometimes. The thing that I'm getting a glimpse of her feelings comes from possibly the way she initiates her hugs with me. When she's stressed out about something, I have noticed her giving a gentle tap. On her happy days, she will give me a full touch that feels good! Here's something I noticed- on a few days I have been not really feeling it and just being there for her because we're buddies; I've tapped her shoulder only for her to hide a frown on her face. It's very subtle and I have barely noticed it. When she has tapped my shoulder and I just gave her a high energy and positive hug, she's really embraced it.
I even have shown my appreciation for her while not really feeling that way and she responds very happily to it. Again, her body language is so subtle and I'm just tapping into the possibility that she could be interested in me romantically. I'm just cool about it! Cool! This sort of thing is happening while we are still friends and it's definitely possible for a guy and girl to go from Point A as friends and then Point XXX for marriage! I don't believe in fornication by the way and I hold to a high standard because I fear the Lord's ways and would like to honor it much as my flesh can handle and occasionally slipping with looking at naughty stuff to peak my sexual interests- umm yeah, I'm not going much further in detail because that's what I struggle with and can admit. Some guys would be openly like let it come to them, sex! I prefer to be amicable and well-behaved about it while being a patient dude. Someday I will try to perform some awesome and amazing you know with a willing and equally pleasing partner I'm married to.
First of all, she holds a high standards with the girls I choose to date and a decent looking close friend of hers has expressed a little interest in me and she's just playing it off and not giving in to help us meet. It's cool because her friend has a kid while being a chill, intelligent, and pretty single mom with a boyfriend she wants to dump. I think that's nice of her to want me to not get into some complications in a relationship with a growing child and also possible ex being the father.
The biggest clue that I'm picking up on is very subtle body language. When we hang out, she's usually associating me with being so fun because that's right we do fun stuff, but that's not the deal maker. It's normal to hang out and be friends and have so much fun. It's like I'm going through the motion with her a lot and I feel bored but just give in to what she wants to do sometimes. The thing that I'm getting a glimpse of her feelings comes from possibly the way she initiates her hugs with me. When she's stressed out about something, I have noticed her giving a gentle tap. On her happy days, she will give me a full touch that feels good! Here's something I noticed- on a few days I have been not really feeling it and just being there for her because we're buddies; I've tapped her shoulder only for her to hide a frown on her face. It's very subtle and I have barely noticed it. When she has tapped my shoulder and I just gave her a high energy and positive hug, she's really embraced it.
I even have shown my appreciation for her while not really feeling that way and she responds very happily to it. Again, her body language is so subtle and I'm just tapping into the possibility that she could be interested in me romantically. I'm just cool about it! Cool! This sort of thing is happening while we are still friends and it's definitely possible for a guy and girl to go from Point A as friends and then Point XXX for marriage! I don't believe in fornication by the way and I hold to a high standard because I fear the Lord's ways and would like to honor it much as my flesh can handle and occasionally slipping with looking at naughty stuff to peak my sexual interests- umm yeah, I'm not going much further in detail because that's what I struggle with and can admit. Some guys would be openly like let it come to them, sex! I prefer to be amicable and well-behaved about it while being a patient dude. Someday I will try to perform some awesome and amazing you know with a willing and equally pleasing partner I'm married to.
Monday, June 11, 2018
Self Improvement
Reviewing a little from what I can remember with the last post about renewing the mind, I believe that in order for a person to come across with success, he or she needs to first have self-discipline and then come across appreciating what has been done because of it. If it's not that great, then I guess it would be time to look elsewhere.
From thinking a little more about it, I now believe that if a person refuses to change his or her disposition and keeps complaining about status, then the person is being a lost cause about something. Some people are able to let it go better than others, so I'm learning to catch up to their level of letting stuff go with people who can make me mad sometimes. Basically a person who has a problem about something and needs to discuss the same thing constantly to not much improvement is pretty much a lost cause about it, and there's really no need to be invested in the talk especially if you already disagree and they are doing all they can to persuade you. This is where being smart comes in handy for figuring stuff out about almost anything happening in this world; and unfortunately, not everybody is equipped to do so like one of my buddies who keeps talking about how people are out to get him after having a major panic attack at work and leaving his position ASAP!
I think the best way for me to deal with the stresses of people I care about who are being a lost cause to me is to not invest much into it nor engage in arguing. I guess if it gets really annoying like it has been for me, it's not a bad idea to separate for awhile and finding something else to do because my buddy isn't changing and he thinks he's the best at what he does and I know clearly that he isn't. With that added time to focus on myself, I could work on achieving my personal goals and go after socializing with new people. For myself, being the most honest person I can be with people I'm personally holding in contempt is the best thing I could really do for myself and handling those annoying situations without letting my frustrations get the best of me.
Friday, June 8, 2018
Renewing the Mind
As a human being, I guess it's normal to want to do something but just never find the time to get around to doing it. Worst, sometimes it can turn into regret and it becomes a cycle from probably some obsession or addiction and just not being able to break a certain habit. In these circumstances, there is a way to overcome those obstacles that lead us to staying human. It's basically renewing the mind.
There are five things to it for a person to obtain a renewed mind, and I'm going to mention this is a Christian post. It's to read, study, memorize, meditate, and share the Bible. I guess you have to make time to do those things out of discipline and then grow into enjoying it and then living it. Trusting in the very essence of the Bible happens thanks to believing in Christ's resurrection.
This is what I should really be doing on a daily basis, so it would mean that I don't really have time to let my mind wander off reading other cool stuff on the Internet nor even watching TV and movies unless it's socializing with other people- only by that, I'll make the exception. I'm really going to have to prioritize on a 24-7 basis and just keep on adding up different things to do that will just keep my butt from being glued to the couch and munching on goodies.
It's probably that I feel worn out and confused sometimes and just not feeling it while not caring that I just tune into television or getting lost in my other side curiosities that waste time like a numb skull. I do it all the time. I think I'll try to get back to reading the Bible once again with the three passages, along with studying a chapter of Proverbs and Psalms and just listening in on Scriptures. I believe this is the priority I must do.
I can say that I'm hanging out with friends who do have a somewhat belief in God and Christianity so I guess I can hang in there and live by example just to be a quiet witness to them since they aren't really asking any questions or making any of these deep and serious religious considerations at the moment. Maybe I can also include praying about it during my quiet time with the Bible.
There are five things to it for a person to obtain a renewed mind, and I'm going to mention this is a Christian post. It's to read, study, memorize, meditate, and share the Bible. I guess you have to make time to do those things out of discipline and then grow into enjoying it and then living it. Trusting in the very essence of the Bible happens thanks to believing in Christ's resurrection.
This is what I should really be doing on a daily basis, so it would mean that I don't really have time to let my mind wander off reading other cool stuff on the Internet nor even watching TV and movies unless it's socializing with other people- only by that, I'll make the exception. I'm really going to have to prioritize on a 24-7 basis and just keep on adding up different things to do that will just keep my butt from being glued to the couch and munching on goodies.
It's probably that I feel worn out and confused sometimes and just not feeling it while not caring that I just tune into television or getting lost in my other side curiosities that waste time like a numb skull. I do it all the time. I think I'll try to get back to reading the Bible once again with the three passages, along with studying a chapter of Proverbs and Psalms and just listening in on Scriptures. I believe this is the priority I must do.
I can say that I'm hanging out with friends who do have a somewhat belief in God and Christianity so I guess I can hang in there and live by example just to be a quiet witness to them since they aren't really asking any questions or making any of these deep and serious religious considerations at the moment. Maybe I can also include praying about it during my quiet time with the Bible.
Thursday, June 7, 2018
Proper Fitness
There's basically three things that a person needs to have for an ideal body he or she wants. It's proper nutrition, working out, and getting enough rest. These three things performed at a world class level on a consistent basis will make the athlete just kill stuff when it comes to doing physical and normal activities. Let's break it down into paragraphs like a five paragraph essay, starting with my first sentence being my thesis.
Number Uno, proper nutrition should take up about 80% of the time. Basically munching off of those good chips or addictive popcorn in my case while watching a NBA legendary player lose to a great team like it happened yesterday is not a great idea. It's better to get off the couch now especially because he's not going to win after losing three straight. The climax is over and it was fun before the other guy blasted a long range three pointer that just shut down the home crowd's energy and made fans start leaving. It happens! It should be easy now to get my butt off the couch because I saw a gain of two pounds on my weight scale and regretting that cheesy and caramelized melting popcorn and finishing half the bag that is fit to feed four hungry people!
Number Two, even after going to the bathroom, I saw only .2 pounds lost off my water weight. If you want to see some more excess of water weight lost, then you are going to have to work out. In addition, working out picks up your metabolism. From running only 13.1 miles a few weeks ago, I only lost about four pounds. It's like burning off a whole pizza; it's not bad at all wouldn't one say? It's more like an excuse from running only a distance of half marathon every two days to eat a lot to gain all of that weight after getting too thin!
Number Three, even after running only a half marathon one day a week and averaging about running only 35 miles in seven days, trust me, it isn't that bad as it seems, it's quite fun. I even average about 35 miles an hour in my car so to average that out in a week of running isn't really a lot if one would think on the long term scale. Proper rest so even though I feel bad to get eight hours of sleep and get up feeling all good and not knowing if I was snoring while dreaming hard about pretty ladies and on those rare occasions, I've probably been forced to take a peek from one of them being naughty but that's another case in the dream world which doesn't count! Rest is so pivotal so that you don't wake up sleepy. From being sleepy, it's easier to act stupid with simple routines like falling asleep while driving and hitting the curb and then the body just gets a jolt and sometimes, you might wake up in a hospital. Yes, proper rest helps the body recover so that you can run only another 13.1 miles freely the next day without feeling so tired!
In conclusion to this five paragraph essay regarding proper fitness, to sum it all up it's 80% proper nutrition, 20% work out, and then rest. I'm not saying 0% rest to add it up to 100% but I should add that 100% should be proper mind set and if you add in 100% rest, it becomes 300% for proper fitness. It works in the power of threes!
Number Uno, proper nutrition should take up about 80% of the time. Basically munching off of those good chips or addictive popcorn in my case while watching a NBA legendary player lose to a great team like it happened yesterday is not a great idea. It's better to get off the couch now especially because he's not going to win after losing three straight. The climax is over and it was fun before the other guy blasted a long range three pointer that just shut down the home crowd's energy and made fans start leaving. It happens! It should be easy now to get my butt off the couch because I saw a gain of two pounds on my weight scale and regretting that cheesy and caramelized melting popcorn and finishing half the bag that is fit to feed four hungry people!
Number Two, even after going to the bathroom, I saw only .2 pounds lost off my water weight. If you want to see some more excess of water weight lost, then you are going to have to work out. In addition, working out picks up your metabolism. From running only 13.1 miles a few weeks ago, I only lost about four pounds. It's like burning off a whole pizza; it's not bad at all wouldn't one say? It's more like an excuse from running only a distance of half marathon every two days to eat a lot to gain all of that weight after getting too thin!
Number Three, even after running only a half marathon one day a week and averaging about running only 35 miles in seven days, trust me, it isn't that bad as it seems, it's quite fun. I even average about 35 miles an hour in my car so to average that out in a week of running isn't really a lot if one would think on the long term scale. Proper rest so even though I feel bad to get eight hours of sleep and get up feeling all good and not knowing if I was snoring while dreaming hard about pretty ladies and on those rare occasions, I've probably been forced to take a peek from one of them being naughty but that's another case in the dream world which doesn't count! Rest is so pivotal so that you don't wake up sleepy. From being sleepy, it's easier to act stupid with simple routines like falling asleep while driving and hitting the curb and then the body just gets a jolt and sometimes, you might wake up in a hospital. Yes, proper rest helps the body recover so that you can run only another 13.1 miles freely the next day without feeling so tired!
In conclusion to this five paragraph essay regarding proper fitness, to sum it all up it's 80% proper nutrition, 20% work out, and then rest. I'm not saying 0% rest to add it up to 100% but I should add that 100% should be proper mind set and if you add in 100% rest, it becomes 300% for proper fitness. It works in the power of threes!
Wednesday, June 6, 2018
Staying Content
It's okay to suck because you can still manage. I told a buddy that he sucks at everything. I admit that I suck too because there's either greatness or just not being that good while still managing to do enough. If it's about being hot or not, then I'm at the not and accept it. I will do the best I can to not stay there, but I'm okay if it turns out that I suck.
I'm basically saying that I'm content even though I know that I suck. Okay so while going with that, I will keep on working at it and enjoying excellence. Being sleepy sucks and focusing on other things to stay relaxed when you know better sucks too.
This goes to my very unpopular conclusion because I know that I suck. I believe that the majority of people suck too like my buddy. I just don't say that they suck because it's rude. I tell my buddy everything from just being straight up blunt with him.
To be great, it has to be something memorable and consistent among a large group of people. It needs to have an ending as well and the clear goal has to be recognizable like an NBA basketball player who goes for winning a championship. I think Michael Jordan is a legendary basketball player just like a lot of people do. If a good number of people believe that you are successful like a few of my female friends believe, then I guess that's a good thing.
I'm basically saying that I'm content even though I know that I suck. Okay so while going with that, I will keep on working at it and enjoying excellence. Being sleepy sucks and focusing on other things to stay relaxed when you know better sucks too.
This goes to my very unpopular conclusion because I know that I suck. I believe that the majority of people suck too like my buddy. I just don't say that they suck because it's rude. I tell my buddy everything from just being straight up blunt with him.
To be great, it has to be something memorable and consistent among a large group of people. It needs to have an ending as well and the clear goal has to be recognizable like an NBA basketball player who goes for winning a championship. I think Michael Jordan is a legendary basketball player just like a lot of people do. If a good number of people believe that you are successful like a few of my female friends believe, then I guess that's a good thing.
Improvements Made With Fitness
I ran about possibly 4.5 miles yesterday in the evening and did my usual routine of running up the hill and trying to keep myself from staying winded. I did my shower routine and then after that I lied in bed and knocked out only to wake up at about 4:30 am to get ready for work. I checked my weight scale and I burned two pounds from probably setting off my metabolism after doing some cardio for a good period of time. I'm currently weighing in at about 163 pounds and would like to reach 155 so I'm not too far away for my goal.
I plan to target my abs and arms once I reach my ideal weight and maintain some cardio on a weekly basis. I will probably get back into some high-intensity training which is fun and burns a thousand calories every session. I've toned out like crazy and even got skinny because of it. My ultimate goal is to look like I have good muscles with making the body look good and go for completing a full triathlon. It's actually a lot of fun and the only person I'm really competing against is myself and not letting others get to you can be a bit tricky sometimes, but it's fun to try to keep up with the more fit athletes who pass me up.
A lot of this happens because of one thing acceptance. I'm preaching that very heavy and because of it, I'm just laughing at my own failures and not caring and moving forward and just keep going for my goal.
I plan to target my abs and arms once I reach my ideal weight and maintain some cardio on a weekly basis. I will probably get back into some high-intensity training which is fun and burns a thousand calories every session. I've toned out like crazy and even got skinny because of it. My ultimate goal is to look like I have good muscles with making the body look good and go for completing a full triathlon. It's actually a lot of fun and the only person I'm really competing against is myself and not letting others get to you can be a bit tricky sometimes, but it's fun to try to keep up with the more fit athletes who pass me up.
A lot of this happens because of one thing acceptance. I'm preaching that very heavy and because of it, I'm just laughing at my own failures and not caring and moving forward and just keep going for my goal.
Getting Laughs At Myself
I'm attracted to good looking girls and some of them are very nice, but I have no chance with them! That's funny to me. I don't think I look all that great; some days, I feel like I look a little better and other days, I just don't have it. Overall though, it looks like I can attract a small crowd of deeply appreciative people who just feel connected with someone in the group. I guess that's not bad considering how I'm not known for anything popular and that causes people to walk out on me. I also walk out on them too and not that reliable so I accept that I'm a pretty selfish guy.
On top of all this accepting negatives about myself, I just have this spark in my heart that wants to be pleasing to the Lord Jesus in my life. It's just an incredible happy place for me to seek after putting my trust in the Son of God, who walked in this earth a thousands of years ago. Because of that, I can't just settle with being selfish and going after doing stuff that a lot of people can get themselves carried away with. I'm like taken back by the thought of all of that temporary fun and have to be like enough is enough for me.
Well, it seems like having a nice relationship with a woman is nice for a change. I guess just being great friends is enough for me and I'm just like not caring if I even get turned down by them when that moment comes where I'm really interested in them. I move on rather fast and can be patient and not worry if it never happens to me because I can accept everything depressing about myself!
Laughter is sort of like my defense mechanism with all the ugly pictures I put myself through. Let's see if I can keep on making some more improvements. I'm not in any rush though, but it's just fun to see how I can make the most of it. My eyes are so small; it's funny how I look. I get a nice chuckle out of myself these days and it was hard in the beginning because I was so self-conscientious but I figure to survive in a shallow world of people who just disappear to me, a sense of humor is a requirement.
On top of all this accepting negatives about myself, I just have this spark in my heart that wants to be pleasing to the Lord Jesus in my life. It's just an incredible happy place for me to seek after putting my trust in the Son of God, who walked in this earth a thousands of years ago. Because of that, I can't just settle with being selfish and going after doing stuff that a lot of people can get themselves carried away with. I'm like taken back by the thought of all of that temporary fun and have to be like enough is enough for me.
Well, it seems like having a nice relationship with a woman is nice for a change. I guess just being great friends is enough for me and I'm just like not caring if I even get turned down by them when that moment comes where I'm really interested in them. I move on rather fast and can be patient and not worry if it never happens to me because I can accept everything depressing about myself!
Laughter is sort of like my defense mechanism with all the ugly pictures I put myself through. Let's see if I can keep on making some more improvements. I'm not in any rush though, but it's just fun to see how I can make the most of it. My eyes are so small; it's funny how I look. I get a nice chuckle out of myself these days and it was hard in the beginning because I was so self-conscientious but I figure to survive in a shallow world of people who just disappear to me, a sense of humor is a requirement.
Tuesday, June 5, 2018
Interesting Support
I seem to get an interesting amount of support from people who I butted heads with when it comes to me dating someone. It's an odd correlation but I'm just a natural even with the worst type of people who just behave in a manner that would be too much for certain types of people. I think the support mainly comes from how I decide to run my mouth. If I hold back, then I'm going to inevitably let something slip and it's going to tick off people a whole multitude amount even though I feel like I deserved to say that from all the effort I put in to control my tongue.
For example, I was having a hard time working at the "feeling" of getting along with a girl. I ended up holding all of that frustration inside of me and then I let it rip one day in a poem. On the poem, I said she's unattractive. Guess what happened? She got so mad and didn't care when she was included in a group that got me in trouble at that "pretending to be holy" church. I'm obviously laughing about it and it wasn't that serious because they don't have evidence and it now shows that they were just being paranoid with anger issues which I was sensitive about not arousing myself, but I happened to because I released all that frustration into a joke that made me laugh so hard at them, but made them so mad. I felt bad about it so I became a sitting duck while they were making accusations that are now funny to me while thinking about it.
By me just being transparent and having a constant pattern of being the same authentic person of how I run my mouth, it seems to have a positive effect on my relationships with people I choose to have a conflict with. I think the buddy who has been replying back to me with my text messages in my overpowering comments just doesn't want me to look at him all bad for whatever he wants to do even if it's so selfish. Another guy just relented with my comments of doing active stuff to him on the basis that he acts a certain way to me much to his own embarrassment. It's like I'm flexing my muscles at him and saying that I have his number and showing it already for his eyes to see and that he has no way out of it no matter what he does, so he has to give in and not do the things that I think would make him look bad. It's something like that for ultimate persuasion that I did to this dumb sergeant in the army! It could also be that he's laughing about it when he's able to catch his breath and doesn't mind that I tore up his heart and soul like it happened in boot camp.
Anyway, I'm totally overshadowing him in a spiritual sense or that's how I feel at least while having him as a Facebook friend. He could even unfriend me and I would still feel the same, so I've been sending messages to him of that sort and he reads and has like disappeared with me on social media for awhile. He could be busy trying to balance out taking care of his baby girl and just like afraid of me in like losing his credible social status so doesn't want to push this strong expression of my personality while attacking his character. I'm only behaving in this manner because he did something, and I'm bringing it up later and from having this type of personality, with the people who attacked me in the beginning, they don't really pursue that much with me in arguing because of my responses if I go on the attack as well with them in the future. I honestly believe at a high level of certainty, he won't mind me having a girlfriend and probably wondering who it will be. I don't think he's even going to respond or think anything of it and just be like in acceptance with a slight grin on his face momentarily.
For the other buddy with a weird mind, if the girlfriend turns out to be so hot and nice, then I guess he's going to respond a little envious with me and be like thinking that I won't have time to mess with him any further so he'll find a reason to be happy for himself more than me.
For example, I was having a hard time working at the "feeling" of getting along with a girl. I ended up holding all of that frustration inside of me and then I let it rip one day in a poem. On the poem, I said she's unattractive. Guess what happened? She got so mad and didn't care when she was included in a group that got me in trouble at that "pretending to be holy" church. I'm obviously laughing about it and it wasn't that serious because they don't have evidence and it now shows that they were just being paranoid with anger issues which I was sensitive about not arousing myself, but I happened to because I released all that frustration into a joke that made me laugh so hard at them, but made them so mad. I felt bad about it so I became a sitting duck while they were making accusations that are now funny to me while thinking about it.
By me just being transparent and having a constant pattern of being the same authentic person of how I run my mouth, it seems to have a positive effect on my relationships with people I choose to have a conflict with. I think the buddy who has been replying back to me with my text messages in my overpowering comments just doesn't want me to look at him all bad for whatever he wants to do even if it's so selfish. Another guy just relented with my comments of doing active stuff to him on the basis that he acts a certain way to me much to his own embarrassment. It's like I'm flexing my muscles at him and saying that I have his number and showing it already for his eyes to see and that he has no way out of it no matter what he does, so he has to give in and not do the things that I think would make him look bad. It's something like that for ultimate persuasion that I did to this dumb sergeant in the army! It could also be that he's laughing about it when he's able to catch his breath and doesn't mind that I tore up his heart and soul like it happened in boot camp.
Anyway, I'm totally overshadowing him in a spiritual sense or that's how I feel at least while having him as a Facebook friend. He could even unfriend me and I would still feel the same, so I've been sending messages to him of that sort and he reads and has like disappeared with me on social media for awhile. He could be busy trying to balance out taking care of his baby girl and just like afraid of me in like losing his credible social status so doesn't want to push this strong expression of my personality while attacking his character. I'm only behaving in this manner because he did something, and I'm bringing it up later and from having this type of personality, with the people who attacked me in the beginning, they don't really pursue that much with me in arguing because of my responses if I go on the attack as well with them in the future. I honestly believe at a high level of certainty, he won't mind me having a girlfriend and probably wondering who it will be. I don't think he's even going to respond or think anything of it and just be like in acceptance with a slight grin on his face momentarily.
For the other buddy with a weird mind, if the girlfriend turns out to be so hot and nice, then I guess he's going to respond a little envious with me and be like thinking that I won't have time to mess with him any further so he'll find a reason to be happy for himself more than me.
Marriage Considerations
What's currently on my mom's mind is that with my birthday having passed two days ago, at the age of 35, my mom wants me to now marry any girl who I think is right for me. I'm still not ready, unfortunately. I'm working at a family business that's doing well as of late, but I don't want to rely on it for money. I'm making decent money and having little trouble saving enough for a nice home in southern California which I call home. Only way, I'm going to be able to own like a decent sized mansion is to work smarter in my investing skills which I have been letting slip up.
I guess my mind constantly starts to slip up and it just mainly involves me spending my time with reading up on stuff in the Internet and watching YouTube videos and occasionally letting my mind wander with TV. One of my not so good friends doesn't like anything negative being mentioned about him. It's actually pretty funny because I used to be like that, but he's a fairly odd guy who doesn't get out that much and thinks he's this unique and great guy. I'm just soaking in the truth and probably for that buddy he would think it's too depressing to accept so he has to elevate himself personally while questioning why some people don't seem to really like him that much.
Over these last couple months, I've lost on average one friend on Facebook per month and just to add two new ones over last night. I don't even know who unfriended me honestly, so I guess it's too many people to want to keep up with and maybe they just didn't feel comfortable about my energy. I guess my intentions could be obsessive with everyone because I just want to keep along and I hate it when people do something like that to me.
I guess my mind constantly starts to slip up and it just mainly involves me spending my time with reading up on stuff in the Internet and watching YouTube videos and occasionally letting my mind wander with TV. One of my not so good friends doesn't like anything negative being mentioned about him. It's actually pretty funny because I used to be like that, but he's a fairly odd guy who doesn't get out that much and thinks he's this unique and great guy. I'm just soaking in the truth and probably for that buddy he would think it's too depressing to accept so he has to elevate himself personally while questioning why some people don't seem to really like him that much.
Over these last couple months, I've lost on average one friend on Facebook per month and just to add two new ones over last night. I don't even know who unfriended me honestly, so I guess it's too many people to want to keep up with and maybe they just didn't feel comfortable about my energy. I guess my intentions could be obsessive with everyone because I just want to keep along and I hate it when people do something like that to me.
Saturday, June 2, 2018
Knowing What To Work On
I had a chance to stare at my naked body with a full-scale mirror for awhile after doing a work out. I can see where I would like to work on and it's a no-brain-er that others would do this too. Whether it hurts your confidence or not is one thing and I'm sure some out there don't want to think about how hard it's been to stay consistent with obtaining and managing a nice body. The main excuse is probably because of having pain or not wanting to take it that seriously. It's like you can start worrying and then try and forget about it the next and just drop it completely out of your system. I honestly don't understand how my buddies manage to block out their feelings of insufficiency while thinking about themselves and laugh at other people's miseries! It drives me a little crazy thinking about it at that angle so I guess I have to learn to accept it even if the truth is so annoying to figure out. I guess this is what loving someone is all about and it includes accepting them for who they are including all their flaws and letting yourself stress out from caring so much about them and doing your best to stay positive that things will turn out okay.
With my body, I've been just mainly running and stretching with awesome yoga classes. It's the same old breathing hard while challenging your body to do amazing poses that require balance and flexibility. It really helps out my form with running and staying consistent for my long half-marathon sessions. I don't think it's crazy that I run this much and starting to pick up on it. It's an acquired taste that I'm sure people would eventually be aware of in others who run like I do.
Right now, I feel that I need to just develop my arms and abs. Everywhere else is actually not that bad in my body including my intimate areas! I'm not going to describe them that much out of wanting to hold it back for like the wife someday or God can inspire me to keep on exercising because of how I look! Yeah, my arms look really flabby even though I can hold up at least 40 pounds with one hand. I guess I want some definition in that area and will figure something out. Maybe that beach body workout plan might come in handy. I also want to have killer abs as well and once I have those two features, it's just a matter of becoming rich and owning my own beautiful home and landing a gorgeous wife who knows how to have a lot of fun and wants to do that with me!
It's pretty sad that my fleeting youth has been spent in playing video games, but I don't really regret it that much because it was so fun. It's just going to be sad to have kids while so old and maybe not being able to reach seeing their grand kids and the next. I could maybe raise them really well that they have so much maturity and marry young and do something that I wasn't able to do. I guess it would be better to work at improving my own line and contributing to the generations. My parents struggled a lot and weren't able to help so much in those areas from making the mistake that it was an assumption that everybody naturally know how to work at. It's pretty weird how they think in this area and it's annoying!
I thank a large part of having this rejuvenated spiritual and happy feeling is from working at having a relationship with the Lord. His Word alone brings me amazement and to my knees in worship as I allow my heart to drive out all my sins and happy to be in the faith that it's true that my sins are washed away and I can live with a guiltless conscience while loving the Lord and serving His purposes by loving others as well.
With my body, I've been just mainly running and stretching with awesome yoga classes. It's the same old breathing hard while challenging your body to do amazing poses that require balance and flexibility. It really helps out my form with running and staying consistent for my long half-marathon sessions. I don't think it's crazy that I run this much and starting to pick up on it. It's an acquired taste that I'm sure people would eventually be aware of in others who run like I do.
Right now, I feel that I need to just develop my arms and abs. Everywhere else is actually not that bad in my body including my intimate areas! I'm not going to describe them that much out of wanting to hold it back for like the wife someday or God can inspire me to keep on exercising because of how I look! Yeah, my arms look really flabby even though I can hold up at least 40 pounds with one hand. I guess I want some definition in that area and will figure something out. Maybe that beach body workout plan might come in handy. I also want to have killer abs as well and once I have those two features, it's just a matter of becoming rich and owning my own beautiful home and landing a gorgeous wife who knows how to have a lot of fun and wants to do that with me!
It's pretty sad that my fleeting youth has been spent in playing video games, but I don't really regret it that much because it was so fun. It's just going to be sad to have kids while so old and maybe not being able to reach seeing their grand kids and the next. I could maybe raise them really well that they have so much maturity and marry young and do something that I wasn't able to do. I guess it would be better to work at improving my own line and contributing to the generations. My parents struggled a lot and weren't able to help so much in those areas from making the mistake that it was an assumption that everybody naturally know how to work at. It's pretty weird how they think in this area and it's annoying!
I thank a large part of having this rejuvenated spiritual and happy feeling is from working at having a relationship with the Lord. His Word alone brings me amazement and to my knees in worship as I allow my heart to drive out all my sins and happy to be in the faith that it's true that my sins are washed away and I can live with a guiltless conscience while loving the Lord and serving His purposes by loving others as well.
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