Happy New Year's Eve!

I would like to thank all of you, who decided to stop on by this site today. Wherever you are, I'm really touched to see numbers go up that don't belong to me. Yet, I'm not really driven by gaining attention, but more about just getting more comfortable with myself. This has turned into something like a social journal, where I don't really fear any repercussions. I can write so freely about my personal rants all I want to but let's not go there today.

I don't want to be driven by an angry approach to anything anymore. I would rather be this cool and clever guy who outsmarts the worst opponents out there, while not being a well-known hero. I don't need the recognition, in other words and don't mind doing something so impactful for free out of the courage and generosity that comes out of my heart. I'm so much of an idealist to a great fault.

Anyhow, thanks again and I wish everyone a Happy New Year's. I have noticed something new in that if I talk about insecurities that reach acquaintances who relate to them and address it in my naturally sensitive manner with a positive solution at the end that could bring an improvement then, they don't seem to drop me out of their life. Yet these people at the same time don't have much patience because let's face it, they are all candidates to go see a therapist and I sometimes don't want to be that helpful! This is how it was with that old church in Los Angeles. I want to keep on cringing while remembering those days where they did their crazy mob act on me with something that didn't relate to them personally. They are only human and still susceptible to a sinful nature, but it's by being inspired through the Holy Spirit which I believe they rejected for their own selfish means that came about from being angry with me bothering them about telling me what's going on with their messed up heads, that one is able to overcome this trial of blowing up in person and causing a frenzy like they did from being unable to control their emotions and trying to control a situation that they really never had a huge part of to begin with. 

I'm still committed to trying to get along with them and am ready for it because this is just my personality of being relational, so I'll be debating a lot of complicated things with them and bringing up their insecurities with me which I'm so capable of doing now. 

I have come a long way to becoming really straight-forward about who I am and clarifying main things with people who are upset with me. This happened the other day with my best friend, and I think she seriously likes me a bit more after debating with her in a fair-minded manner about taking a moderate risk of being at gatherings during this pandemic. She boldly claimed that too many people think like me and that's the problem in this world! 

I got her to see that I'm a healthy individual who can't spread it from wearing a mask even if I am asymptomatic. I even got her to see that she didn't explain how she felt enough with us and that we incorrectly interpreted her position of being okay about us going to a party. She thought it was going to be a small gathering, but then it ended up ballooning to a lot of people partying at one spot. Fortunately, it was outdoors and people had these natural small cliques that were appropriately spaced apart. My conclusion was that we were lucky to not catch it this time and that's how it's turning out so far because I have no symptoms. 

I don't know if I'm a healthy victim but to be safe, I will quarintee myself from her for a couple weeks to be safe. I said that I was doing this all for her; otherwise, I would still be doing my risk assessing and taking a moderate one. This could have made her blush over the phone with me, but it's not like I'm really interested in a serious relationship with her. Well, maybe we already have one from being super close, so it's not anything romantic then. 

Making Better Sense of My Time

I'm starting to realize that watching favorite episodes is something I can set aside for a later time instead of making it a priority. It will always be there whenever I feel like it, so there's really no need to give myself into it right after coming home, unless I'm just too much of a fan and can't help myself.

Yet, for practical reasons, I feel that I'm going to have to contain those desires to take care of other things first. It's because I'm starting to notice that once the time leaves, it's never coming back. Also with the thought of doing it for making more money, I could always put in more work whenever later. It's just that there are more important things to do like taking care of the family and managing personal health issues. 

I'm going to have to exercise consistent discipline now with just holding off on fun distractions until I have my productive and well-balanced tasks out of the way first. 

Finally Making Sense With Cooking Something

For several months, I have brought up so many times about how I want to cook and work out properly. I have a really good idea of how to go about cooking now. I managed to order ingredients on Amazon and have it delivered to my doorsteps. It's just that there's a fee of $5.00 for someone to shop for you, but this really took out the time that's involved with searching for those items at a store that you would rather not go around searching for. It's also difficult to be efficient about it as much as possible with all those shopping lists and not knowing how the items are arranged on the aisles. I would rather let someone else do the work for me, besides saving the money by putting in the extra time.

My best friend is really stingy with her small amount of savings and has a different value of placing more priority on being a couch potato after doing her work. I think this is normal for a lot of people, so maybe I'm looking for an extraordinary lady to marry since this type of behavior irritates me. When I'm around my best friend, then she's pretty cute in person so I seem to forget this but yeah, I can see more that just having a nice appearance doesn't really make the person the right kind of lover for you. 

It makes sense in the end because I never asked her for a serious relationship and she was the one who kept bringing up these comments in forms of questions, which I didn't take seriously enough. I was dealing with my own internal issues that I wanted to address selfishly while isolating others around me. She shows signs of interest with me which is a little questionable and based on her slight mood swings which gets triggered to happiness after cooking for her but I don't see myself dating her ever and this is getting more apparent with me. 

I just took a lunch break and had a nice walk outside by myself. During this time, I figured out on the spot what my best friend is lacking in to make her the perfect lover for me. I think I'll share this with her as well at a better time, and this blog attracts very little attention compared to other media outlets so I think I'm safe with how I will always stay committed to being an anonymous author. 

I would have chased after my best friend right after establishing our current relationship and possibly succeeded if she was a little bit sweeter and also had no personal concerns about her mental and health issues. Okay and on top of this, she was my ethnicity since my parents would go totally bonkers over her! I consider it to be two-and-a-half things because I'm not bothered by ethnicity anymore.

I am quite the idealist with finding the right partner and also have all the patience in the world while also not that concerned about never finding her sometimes. I think I'm one of the hardest types of personality to get into a serious relationship with. It's like the beautiful lady and me would both have to be very lucky to have met while being currently single to make this work. I understand that a lot of the ladies I'm attracted to are not single and my heart has become very open about dating those who had previous, serious relationships. Currently, I don't wish to accept single moms at the moment. Not until I've at least experienced parenting a biological child from myself for pragmatic reasons, of course. I plan to be a life-long dedicated partner because I have that type of confidence to stay together with any lady I decide to marry. 

Making Progress

It looks like I'm starting to get used to handling business while working with up and down cycles without being too affected by it emotionally. It's really hard when you are feeling like you are in a rut sometimes, but there are ways to get around it if you develop enough confidence. This isn't something that can really be taught anywhere, but somehow, it needs to be caught on by yourself. Sure, it helps to read books that you think might be good and other people you are interested in listening to for getting nice hints. 

Well, this is how I personally function in that I can't really absorb everything like a sponge any more. I'm sadly not at that age now. It would have been nice to be provided with good role models when I started out but I guess my family background is in that I'm supposed to be just another individual out there to live his life. It makes sense for me to not really be appealing at all to the large masses. I'm not really attracted by how good others may have it too, nor do I struggle with that much jealousy over it. I don't mind waiting for my own go around with it or just laying off of it if it's not comfortable enough for any reason. 

What's really nice about all of this is that I seriously have an inner core that's very confident about taking me places and have the willingness to put in all the effort to do so. It's just that I'm not really interested in following what excites people in general while doing my own thing. It could be that I'm not targeting myself to be the best for some competition either, so it's okay for me to accept being overlooked by anyone while just doing enough to be content with myself. 

Using Time Wisely

I think the best thing to do for me is to pretty much lay off of watching this fun and addictive anime show. I'm about forty more episodes away from finishing it now and it's spanned for over 300 episodes already while enjoying two movies to go with it! 

I mean I love the show and drama it portrays with the beautiful theme of struggle and always being there for your friends. I still won't mention the show I was watching. It isn't perfect by any means but it's fun to binge watch for the most part. Now, a new Star Wars season is coming up with the Mandalorian where it features a baby Yoda. At least for this one, I can just enjoy watching one episode weekly for the next couple months and then spend my other time on the weekend cooking for my best friend.  

Oh, did I mention that this post was made the day before Halloween? I know how crazy that sounds and can be related in a loose and silly way to the movie Nightmare Before Christmas. It's a Halloween movie set during the time of Christmas and there's Santa Claus involved with the ringleader just to give a little away to make it fun to watch. 

Well, I think I need to man up with my addictions to having fun and attend to my more productive and grown-up activities even if it sounds flat out boring sometimes. It's still fulfilling to me in a sense, so I guess I need to be a little more in tune better with my boring personal side. 

Sticking to Agenda

I think I have learned something good in that I'm not really phased by up and down cycles of the stock market anymore. I buy the strategy of diversifying with good stocks and then just riding the wave to profit. If it performs below expectations, then it's time to sell the stock and then keep the process going. 

What's so awesome is that I can put in a few dollars at a time for each stock using what's called fractional shares. I am also paying zero commission for purchasing or selling stocks, so that makes it a lot easier for someone to consider daytrading which is also a form of gambling and very time consuming. I don't do that and would rather use my precious time to enjoy doing something else.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone and thanks once again for joining me today! I know that I'm not accepting any more comments and will probably never respond back if you find your way to reach me, but I hope I was of good service to you. If it was entertaining then awesome, or if it was worthy of being mocked and ridiculed in your close quarters then it's fine too. I totally accept all of it and have for a while so it makes sense that I will keep on going with this. 

My projection is that this blog will never get any bigger because of the way I limit it, while having some quirkiness. I'm not looking to make a business out of this, and I just prefer to be this little guy who might be knowledgeable about a few things and could be doing rather well for himself. I'm happy to just write something on here and share openly with you while not pressuring anyone to visit this site. 

From choosing to remain anonymous, it gives me this sense of liberating feeling that I can let go of restraining myself. I do still strive to be a nice person, regardless and learning to cope with my anger issues has been one of the benefits I have finally gained from posting on here for a long time. 

Thanks once again for being with me on what has felt like a magical ride. It's mainly me going after my goals and working towards them more seriously. It would make sense because the world did slow down quite a bit from everyone having to watch out for the COVID-19 virus. I wonder how this will feel looking back on it twenty years later.

A lot of my past posts were written with me dealing with some worry and doing my best to address everything while making myself comfortable again. Yet, I think there were people who just didn't want to be around me anymore for some reason and then ended up disconnecting with me. I guess it happens and maybe I'm just not the right person for them to try to be friends with or even try to take advantage of later on. It could be that it's a sign of moving on as a selfish individual for other things they have in mind. I'm going to choose to not be mad about it and continue going after making myself a better person that I can be happy over. 

Happy Christmas Eve

First off, I would like to thank everyone who visited this site even if they found something was off and then left immediately while never ever coming back again! It's been a wild ride this year since I'm writing this post two days before Halloween comes around the corner. 

The way I have it set up is writing on average at most two posts a day from Monday to Friday and then taking the weekends and vacation days off. I've been doing this to stress my commitment of trying to average one post a day on this blog, so the best way to show it has been to use a scheduler. I'm using the one from Gmail and it works very well. It's just that I'm typing into an email textbox to make these posts, so it might take a little getting used to or maybe no one in the world will ever come around to doing something unique like I'm doing with it. The reason I have chosen this scheduler is because I don't want to pay for anything when I don't have to, so Gmail keeps everything free with enough storage space to save some backup files I make at work and allows me to take it anywhere around the world. 

I hope everyone has a jolly Christmas and is doing well, despite feeling for a lot of families who have been struggling to get by. It's a major break to finally have grown into a very confident and positive man, starting from this year. 

One of the new things I'm applying from having learned it is thinking about how I can make myself better and let go of the past. My emotions are strongly attached to it so I figure that it's still going to come back to haunt me, but this time I want to just use those feelings for motivation to be a better person for myself and let it go quietly in a repeated fashion. 

Sticking to the Plan

It looks like in order for me to get somewhere then I'm going to have to work at limiting my distractions and doing things that I highly prioritize and want to do first. Maybe the lack of my satisfaction is probably from figuring that I don't really need to do much extra work with my investing and trading activity. It's pretty awesome how I've worked it out to come to this point. 

It could be that I don't really want to give in to working out and cooking because it's filled with some insecurities and mainly just not being aware of what I'm supposed to be doing. I don't have a set mind for it yet, but I know it's what I would like to be able to do on the fly without putting up much of a hassle for it. It's something I'm really going to need to work on. I guess I'll just work at coming up with a priorities list and try to keep on following it.  

Time to Move Forward

I think it's a total relief that the World Series is over now. I am writing this post on Oct 28 so it's only 54 days ahead of schedule at this point. I couldn't get my mind off of it, and I just had to watch it instead of doing my boring tasks I had in mind. After finishing the game, I ended up falling asleep and then woke up today to suffer from a couple losing trades I could have probably prevented. Oh well, it's a done deal now and I still accumulated more than 10% profit this month while trading the minimum amount. I think I need one more month of testing out an even better strategy that I think I developed just to be sure, before going all out with this. Still, I am actively trading while making money with the least amount of risk possible so I must still be doing something right for a change.

It can only get better as I increase my winning percentage and get more selective with my trading entries. I'm close to having a robust system now that just works while self-adapting to any kind of current market situation. I'm not going to share this with the general public either, and it's possible some people might still think I'm crazy if I do because one can never know what will happen from the uncertainty. It's also putting someone's hard earned money on the line, so I'd rather just advise them to do it on their own and struggle to get there if they want it so badly. Otherwise, it just wasn't meant for them I guess. 

Now, I'm looking to also add on with trading cryptocurrencies and seeing if I can adapt a similar system that I already have going with my Forex trades. These are just for fun right now of course while using a demo account. For stocks, because of its expected lower return and less volatility attached to it, I'm just going to leave it to the experts I placed my trust in. I'm definitely playing the role of an investor in stocks, compared to being a speculative swing trader with Forex and cryptocurrency. There's also a service that my investing group offers in swing trading stocks, so I'll be looking to get into that as well. It's like copy and paste with trading stocks for me. 

Staying Committed to Personal Improvement

Maybe reading in some areas that I carry plenty of interest in will provide me with so much useful information. Yet, for the way I am, I think writing on here is really the best way for me to express myself and feel like I have something to say without really being a bother to anyone. 

I'm really tracking now on my sentences and can tell if it's going to stir up someone to think wrongfully about me! I've already made several mistakes and instead of getting ticked off repeatedly over the same thing in the past at the same people for being stupid with me, I should just use those negative emotions to motivate myself to be a better person and continually let it go. It's just going to come and go for me on a regular basis, so instead of trying to fight it now, I want to make peace with those haunting and insecure feelings.

I guess I can't really afford the time in a practical manner to post entertaining material. I really have better things to do while being bored, which is doing something that feels even more boring and stressful sometimes. These activities might really define me which is being productive and feeling daily fulfillment over it. I think I can live a really humble life, but the fun that goes with it are really just the little things whenever I give into it.  

Yesterday's Approach

I think what drove me pretty hard was my strong interest to finish up with watching an anime series. It's just too fun to let up on the binge watching activity. I think the best thing is for me to limit it and work on my goals that feel boring or stressful because I feel that there's better value and will feel more rewarding later on after putting my time into it. 

I basically have competing interests underneath me personally. Yet, I put in my bare minimum work to feel like I earned the right to binge watch last night. I also felt like I lost a sense of personal direction and timing while going into my zone of staying stimulated with enjoying a 2-dimensional and fictional world. I find these to be more entertaining than regular shows with actors pretending to be someone else. I think it's because there's more freedom for the artists to express themselves and I notice the liberties they take to animate things that people in real life would never attempt or allow some budgeting for.

I'm going to try to come up with a concrete list and then just try my best to follow it. If I can't finish, then it's totally fine but as long as my heart is in tune with it no matter what I do then it will still satisfy me enough.

Prioritizing Main Thoughts

What I want to do in order today after work starts with my usual driving to the car wash. I'm actually pretty content that writing anything to my heart's content hasn't raised any flags with legal authorities. It was mainly a few exes who ended up having beef with me and then issuing a restraining order against me, but other than that, everything has been all fine and dandy!

I am physically a short man, so it was hard to get out of my head that I could be considered to be so scary to these exes but okay, I can accept that it's because they have feeble minds and were totally stressed out while not knowing what to do. I do know what to recommend for them- they should all go see a therapist! It's all because I'm not in jail and the court orders were dismissed with prejudice so that makes me feel so bonafide! 

Luck definitely didn't play a role in my decision, but okay, maybe just a tad to push myself to stick with the right direction. I'm doing really well underneath my core and psychologically. I feel really stable and extremely confident about just life in general. It's like no matter what gets thrown at me, I'm going to bounce back and try to become stronger. I think this is definitely a manly attitude to stick to for a short guy like me. It doesn't even bother me that much to discuss about how short I am or even make some jokes about it. I don't mind being made fun of for it, but I have a feeling that if it's overdoing it then yes, I'm going to become really mad. It could also be a sign of envy for a few people because I don't really have that much great expectations on me anymore.

It's totally fine with where I am at. I'm a short, undesirable, eastern Asian man. I am among a race of people that is arguably considered to be the least desirable person in the whole wide world that women would want to date. However, eastern Asian women are the most sought after which is such an interesting contrast. 

I'm better off just attracting ladies by carrying myself well in person, rather than trying to look for a farfetched connection online. I'm just not totally attracted to that many ladies online I guess and would prefer to see them in person already. It's like there's something genuine to look for while doing it the old-fashioned way. I guess this isn't really a bad thing then, so with the odds against me, there's really nothing that can be done about it. Maybe I could just settle for a nice and hot lady who would be crazy enough to marry me and take on my odd last name too. 

Learning from the Past

I'm inspired by the Holy Spirit to take a completely different approach to how I have usually done it. Normally, I would just go through the same emotional cycle of stressing out temporarily while blurting out offensive insults around nobody and then calm myself down. 

Now, I want to see how I could improve myself over the incident that just passed regardless of feeling like it was my fault or not. Then, I want to let the whole thing go while having learned something good about it. I think this is the best approach with allowing myself to always have a peace of mind.

I'm going to admit here that I do cuss out loud by myself while thinking about Annie, an old caregroup leader from my ex-church. It's pretty funny to think of my former care group at my former church like a bitter ex who turned into a lost cause with me. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later, but I do want to let the whole thing go for my own sanity now. It's been ten years already. 

Okay, I'll go even further to say that I treated them like a concubine because I always saw them as second class compared to my main church I loved to attend! They didn't like me doing this of course but I think their Biblical doctrine is a little twisted to suit their own selfish needs. Isn't this already a common and believable accusation for the world to understand? 

Anyway, I don't want to yell cuss words anymore whenever I randomly feel haunted by the past with these exes! I can be inspired by the Holy Spirit now whenever those hardships resurface to improve and make myself happier while looking to move on to the point that I won't be bothered by seeing their faces anymore! I already made my vow from being inspired by the Holy Spirit to try my best in getting along with them.

Things I Want to Still Implement Properly

I think I have a really unique situation in this world. I'm a blend of all the normal things that might not be that appealing at all for acquaintances on my social media site. At the same time, I have a drive to get it together and do well enough to get by without being too much of a ruckus. I was pretty stupid in the past from dealing with unwanted emotional issues, but it has all been accounted for from having gained legitimate personal confidence and a positive outlook in life. 

I don't think people who notice me on social media don't really care to hit the like button for the most part, or it could be that the connections don't really appeal to them that well and this is how I've turned out. Well, in person, I never really said that much and now I have this really positive and confident outgoing energy. Actually, putting it to the test, I'm even realizing that it's just how I am and it's not really seen as the best thing or something is being overlooked intentionally. It's like it's where the rubber hits the road and it just doesn't matter for me to regard it. I guess that makes sense with not getting much noted appreciation because I'm intentionally doing it at a leisurely pace. It could be that I'm a slightly unattractive Asian man talking in perfect English and making sense like an outsider that people sort of like to become reserved with me! Well, if I was a very pretty Asian girl then it might just be the opposite. I don't really mind not getting the attention because it really means nothing that important to me in the end, so maybe I remind readers of that sometimes.

I'm still trying to find a way to work out more regularly and find time to cook the recipes that I'm interested in. It's still a work in progress but that's pretty much the ones that I want to add in with my priorities from just being interested in it. Yet, it's like my second night of missing out on watching some entertaining anime episodes. It seems like I'm okay with holding off on it, so I may not really be that addicted to it. 

Lastly, I want to try to make some money off of cryptocurrency now. It looks like a very legitimate thing to make a ton of cash at a high risk of course! It's sort of similar with Forex that I trade regularly so I have some experience with it. I'm probably going to look for a demo account and then set up my custom indicators while testing this market now. It looks like I'll be happy moving into this eventually, along with Forex. Overall, I think Forex is my sweet spot with making the best return for me right now. 

Looking to Improve Action

Yesterday, I realized that I was getting really drowsy at around 8 pm after reading a book. For about an hour and half, I went through like eight books reading one chapter each. I plan to make this a habit because it's quite fun for me to read a little bit about different subjects all at once. I'm even open to reading novels now. 

I'm going to start needing a lot of bookmarkers because I may have more than a hundred books to read lying around the house. I think I'll just avoid reading any more Harry Potter novels I haven't finished because the movies already spoiled it for me. I'm probably going to start getting rid of some books by selling them for dirt cheap at a used bookstore and being open to something else that interests me. I finally picked up a taste for reading several books at once in small portions. 

Honestly, a used book is good enough for me since I'm already used to the library. It's also cheaper even though I still don't mind buying cheap online books if I can find them. I don't think I'll be shopping at a Barnes and Nobles anymore for a nice book. I prefer shopping at used bookstores and have become a fan of it! 

I ended up falling asleep on my loveseat yesterday while mentally planning the next steps I intended to do! I enjoyed the whole night while dreaming about how I was always complaining about my body being in an awkward pose. The other night, what kept me up a little longer was drinking a cup of moderately caffeinated tea and enjoying the last innings of the World Series. I'm going to start resorting to this because it seems to help out with my energy level of doing some fulfilling activities. 

Following Through on Tasks

Yesterday, I did manage to go through my to-do list for the most part and I am pretty satisfied with it. There's a few more adjustments I could make on the go but they aren't really that big of a deal. It seems like it's just better to go through the motions on the list while giving them priority and then go to sleep if you can't finish it.  The next day, it would be the same thing again.

Based on a time management book I read, it's okay to list activities you want to do but don't have time to go through them at the moment. It's about prioritizing doing the important and essential things you want to do first. It appears that I'm going to be working with an alternating personal schedule.

Tracking Each Move I Do

I'm going to try writing what I have in mind with doing. The only distractions I see holding me back is watching the World Series or some more anime episodes that I'm close to finishing. It has more than 300 episodes, so I was on it for a while. I'm not going to mention which one because I want to see if I forget what it was like twenty years later if I ever have a chance to read this post again.

In order of meaningful steps I plan to do today before sleeping:

1. Go to the car wash.

2. Eat dinner.

3. Read like 10 books at once. 

4. Buy stuff to prepare myself with getting sore after going to the gym.

5. Look at recipes and pick out something to do and then shop for them online.

6. Do a max set of push ups, sit ups, and pull ups.

7. Trade at around 8 to 9 pm.

8. Do growing taller exercises.

9. Wash up.

10. Watch a couple anime episodes or more until I feel like passing out.

11. Go to sleep. 

Putting in Better Value With My Time

Yesterday, I really sought out to spend some time purchasing essentials online but I got carried away with watching live Game 1 in the World Series with the Dodgers and Rays playing each other. I know it's like a month and half behind schedule here, but this is how I have been rolling with all these posts. I'm currently 52 days ahead of schedule, so it looks like I'm averaging at around that pace with preparing these posts often. 

The way I'm able to do this is from using the scheduler from G-mail. I've already made a few blunders from choosing the wrong date or time and not double checking it several times. Overall, it hasn't been much of an issue to maintain though. The best part of all this is that it's free and not requiring me to set up another server so I could do this fancy and enviable operation of posting onto this blog in a daily, robotic fashion.

There's really no money for me to gain from sharing some personal experience or wisdom, and I prefer to keep it like that. After all, I'm keeping myself anonymous forever and not really accepting any comments. There's a sneaky way to reach me of course, but there's no guarantee I'll write back! It will be funny to see how long this keeps going even when I pass away. 

Of course, I have found better success in reaching readers by participating on another site. I have only one post that's starting to act viral. It's all just for fun and I even shared this post with a potential girlfriend who said she loved it! 

I like to keep it real without holding anything back, while condensing main ideas into a few understandable sentences. It's just hard to implement in real life, so I know it's still going to be a challenge for those who are struggling. These are the people I'm reaching, so they might not be the most stable crowd to be around right now but nonetheless I used to be one in that crowd. 

I think the main reason why I'm able to share my thoughts so openly and feel good about them without holding anything back is that I feel very comfortable and confident about making my money with investing and trading currency which is something I'm not discussing at all on that site. I'm only talking about the answers I have from what I used to struggle with figuring out, so I can see it bothering very few people who would be too weak and averse to do anything about it anyway.  

Simplifying Agenda

I think the best thing to do with getting back time is doing the least as possible while sticking to the most important things that you want to do on a daily basis. I guess it's rough while feeling tired but still, there's something mental underneath you that wants to push you into greatness somehow with what you can do! 

It's this type of motivation that we should all be striving for on a daily basis. I'm no motivational speaker but the last paragraph does make me feel lit! Let's see if I feel the same way on a later day from reading this again, but I don't think it's even going to matter because it's really about doing the necessary things that you are interested in regardless of how difficult it is to get yourself going in life. 

Naming it, I mainly want to be up late enough to manage my swing trades on a nightly basis. It's only done at roughly 9 pm, so that isn't too rough. Secondly, get my 8.5 mile run each Saturday morning. 

The thing I'm having trouble doing is focusing on working out and cooking. It has some difficult barriers for me that I still need to sort through. I guess it's natural to feel like they are a hassle but for me, I enjoy how fulfilling they can be. They are after all only optional things to my daily necessities to get by.

Another thing that I feel is optional and fulfilling is sitting down to read some good books! On top of my two main must haves for me, I don't do my extra fulfilling activities on a daily basis. I get too distracted by TV and stimulating anime episodes. They are just too fun to pass up for me so I'm prioritizing fun over my fulfilling activities right now. I guess it's not entirely bad, but the way I would like to run my life is putting those fulfilling actions over the fun I'm having. 

After all, they are things that I'm interested in doing and I just know it's good for me and think it's worthwhile to invest in for a better future. 

I'm going to have to run these personal thoughts into action to see how it goes today. I do have the high level of confidence and positivity to endure exercising and cooking on a regular basis. I'm also a typical guy, so doing some cooking will be foreign for me but I believe I have what it takes to be successful with doing something at a small level that other ladies are doing and not really mind the lack of attention I will be getting for it. 

Sticking to What's Most Important

The most important thing for me is eventually making a lot of money on my own from investing and trading and then being able to move out of my parent's house into my own nice home and then pick up a hot wife! A really good friend who is a girl has proposed to me that I become her roommate and that I can practice on being a nice boyfriend to her. I'm actually really interested too, and this would mean that I would have to make myself not totally reliant on this family business because my dad is part owner of it and he would be totally against this idea I have in mind! 

I think it's really dumb and close-minded with how my parents think about preserving some pure bloodline of my ethnicity. I don't mind if they don't want to ever get involved with me after I move out and get married. I know that I'll be just fine being my own exceedingly confident and very positive man! I need to first get to financial independence on my own terms, before I can start thinking about this set future. 

It's overall, a really long term strategy while riding through plenty of up and down cycles. For a couple friends I know, they will get caught up in their emotions with winning from gambling or just get more passive about investing because they don't want to lose anymore. I'm totally okay with moving myself forward on to this path to riches!  

Exciting Outlook

It finally looks like the work I put in with trading the Forex market is starting to pay off. I'm making a ton of change off of it by trading with the minimal amount to warm myself up. It's neat that my strategy is starting to consistently work this whole month. I want to put in a couple more months to just be sure that this is the real deal now, but it looks like I'm reading the markets properly now.

It's really all based on theories and personal style so I don't think trading on your own is something you can really teach. Sure, there are systems out there that you can buy but nothing comes close to perfecting your own. You can definitely borrow things that are out there while testing different systems and looking for something that makes sense to your needs and will be committed to. 

I did a lot of testing on the Forex market on my own and it totaled for over a few years. I even hired coaches to help me out. I ended up using a couple of their indicators while finding a replacement for one of them to mimic a system that joins two different systems together for my own preference. I'm not really following any of their setups closely, and it's really been from my own trial and error that I have come up with two of them that work really well for me and happen enough times during the week to keep me satisfied with day/swing trading the market. 

I may have landed on a rare goldmine for myself, but it's something that I believe I can't properly teach anyone because of my own personal biases. I guess it might work by following my invented school of thought, but there may be some changes you could make with it. I don't really want to teach this to anyone for free and there's also a chance you could lose more than you can chew. Thirdly, I would rather keep all the profit for myself using my own funds rather than having someone else claim some from profit while backing me with their money. Therefore, it makes sense to keep this an independent activity that I'm lucky to have stumbled upon and taken initiative from just searching for something like it years ago.  

With doing well in stocks, it's totally another ballgame and I joined an investment group to do all the heavy lifting for me. So far, I'm making profit overall from following their advice with allocating my portfolio to how things make sense for me. I want to get more wealthy so I could start having more fun investing while using their full services and possibly put it more on autopilot and then have a fun early retirement while continuing to make money and being able to use it to influence better outcomes for my family and possibly my local community.  

Planning Tasks

I'm writing this post on the 19th of October and it looks like the local gym has reopened with some restrictions added in place. I'm looking to go work out since none of the meetups really interest me during the week. I'm more open to going to an event on the weekends, so for the meantime I want to focus on my health whenever I'm off work and continuing to work on investing my money.

I bought a Poker book for only 50 cents at a bargain bookstore and it's by the Poker pro who has won the most World Series of Poker tournaments. He actually has some good tips that you can follow and they are laid out in only a few pages since I'm only interested in online NL Hold'em. There's actually more that goes into it like calculating pot odds and reading opponents but that comes all through experience and learning things about yourself. 

Anyhow, by adding those few tips, I feel like I'm having more fun with playing Poker now and I even ended up winning a large pot that was nearly triple my max buy-in! I'm going by a bust-or-boom strategy now and reloading whenever my chip stack goes below 25 big blinds. However, if I end up losing it all in one hand then I'm out for the whole day with no doubts on my mind (bust). The same applies if I end up totaling to profit with making my buy-in amount or more (boom). 

I'm only looking to play on the weekends when I have a little free time left over and preferably in the morning to late afternoon. 

Managing Time Better

I'm starting to think now that I have a better grasp of what I want to do with my time. Reading some books have been pretty useful guides for me. I'm pretty much reading through ten books at once right now and find that I'm satisfied with just going through one chapter for each one daily. In a way, reading has become pretty fulfilling and something I don't mind trading in a couple years of my life for the knowledge or enjoyment I could accumulate from it.  

I'm pretty stoked about not being locked up, after dealing with a personal hardship of holding a grudge against others over an issue that was way out there. I definitely had anger issues, but what brought me back to control is realizing that I'm lucky to be a person who loves being supportive more instead of a brat. It was my insecurity of not being able to get along with these crazy, unsupportive, and distasteful individuals that drove me to the brink of insanity. I have accepted how a few people or any small group can perceive my faults to be driving them crazy too, sometimes. I think it's just timing issues and not realizing what they are going through at the moment from being so blinded and selfish about achieving what you want that you can end up behaving ignobly. 

For the time being, I have made a vow with the Lord until the day I obtain my biggest personal goals that I won't ever visit the odd church that ended up kicking me out over a social issue that never dealt with us personally and being overly angry while hanging on to presuppositions. I get it that they were thinking crazy and a friend I talked to about it just casually confirmed it without me being aware of it at the time! I have chosen not to stay mad about it but use the memory to grow stronger with inspiration from the Holy Spirit while continuing to suffer and work around my personal weaknesses. 

I have a new vow to add on to my current vows that I haven't broken to this day because they are for the Lord and inspired by the Holy Spirit. My new vow to add on is that I will try my best to get along with them when the day comes after being fully settled in. This hopefully won't involve many needless debates with them, but I will give myself over to them for laboring purposes. If it doesn't work out in the end, then I also vow to not treat it like it's the end of the world for my own sanity! 

Understanding What Good Women Desire

From being a man who can also get really in tune with his emotional side, I enjoy better friendships with girls than guys. Currently, I don't keep in touch with any of my usual guy friends during this pandemic and have been with mainly girls. This means that I have more girls who are my good friends than guys!

I have noticed these girls can sometimes think a little crazy, and they have even admitted to it with me while they are going through a hard time. The thing though is that I still love them for who they are, and it's quite funny from being a man wanting to be around the love of a preferred woman's affections, I'm willing to put up with most of it!  

I understand that a good woman wants to give it her all to a gentle, loving, and smart man who will always provide for her and make her feel secure. I am able to draw this conclusion from having just asked at the table while having dinner with them. I can better distinguish with how they feel comfortable around me and see me as a friend. From observing their body language and facial expressions, I can also suspect what they have been through but a lot of them seem to be very mature and accepting of their situations while capable of coming up with intelligent plans to get what they want! 

Interesting Situations

I believe that I'm at a very good time of my life right now and enjoying being by myself more. I think the only thing I really need to work on better is improving my fitness level and cooking more delicious food. For me, I don't think they are a waste of time and pretty worthwhile to do on a consistent basis. It's just awesome with the potential those two activities can possess! 

I'm going to have to just sacrifice watching anime, since it's technically something I can always live without if I don't have the time. I think a lot of the extracurricular activities I think about are only for if I can afford the time and willing to pay up after getting my priorities out of the way. 

Basically, the personal and basic priorities for me on a daily basis is to focus on making money and maintaining good health! I also consider my interpersonal relationships to be highly important. Basically, having fun from watching a couple anime episodes or even going out to have fun once in a while is something I will have to squeeze in just a little each night if I can. 

Million Dollar Plan

I personally believe that I'm on the path to becoming a millionaire in about five years or less. I really don't think it's something you can fully teach to others properly because it deals with managing risk, and there's some psychology that will be involved. I also don't want to trade other people's money and get some commission off of it when I could just manage my own and keep all the profit that goes with it. I feel really selfish in this area and don't really want to help other people make money. It's like a competition to me and how you have to put in the work to earn it; otherwise, choke from having made some critical errors! 

Anyhow, I think the most important thing is having dignity and a peace of mind from finding a lot of self-confidence and positivity while also getting results from putting in the work with some discipline. I'm a lot better than unusual these days and seems to be only improving. It's sort of giving me the confidence to go ask out a couple girls I'm highly attracted to and see what I can make of it! 

Figuring Out What to Do

It looks like managing time properly really comes down to cutting down on the excess that you don't want in your life or don't really need. You can look at it from a biological and personal point of view. With the personal things, I've seriously taken interest in studying the Bible and applying principles that I can understand and connect very well with. I believe that the Bible is uncompromising and also the inerrant Word of God. I have trouble connecting with it from just letting the words I hear flow from one ear in and then out the other. 

I don't think it's a big deal though because I just need a little dose of it to get a mighty aha moment that really carries my faith in Jesus. Being satisfied probably does come from self-realizations and practicing things that originate from the ultimate source of inspiration. I believe this comes from the Word of God!   

I feel a lot more satisfied from reading several books at once that I've taken interest in. I'm probably just taking them only a chapter at a time daily, but it seems to be working well for my personal tastes.

Listing Few Tasks I Want to Do and Find Important

I think for my personality, it's really easy for me to identify that it's three main things that I find the most important for my physical needs. Honestly, for my spiritual side, I'm happy to be trying to plug myself into listening to the Word daily which I have trouble following so now I have purchased a very thick volume called the Believer's Bible Commentary which is in great shape and came half off at a secular book store! It's unique and was the last and only one there, so I will put it to great use to just get a basic understanding of the Bible and start getting better hints on what God really wants me to do with my life. Sure I have my needs also and will make my petitions via prayers and then go for it and hope to reach like the stars! There was also a classic Christian book called A Purpose Driven Life and that one was sold to me for only a dollar!  These came from a book store that isn't religious at all and they treated these books with some under value which works for me. I'll be back later so I can buy many more books sold at that store for cheap.  

Basically, I said the most important one for me was work and I guess that would be easy for most to identify with. The second one is investing my money through stocks and speculating with trading foreign currencies right now. I'm holding up with little to some profit right now and it's better than nothing. Lastly, it's a combination of exercise and nutrition so keeping up with good health. Everything else is pretty much unnecessary and something I'm doing for fun or because I feel obligated to, except for getting out often to just hang out or trying to piece together in my head that very instant how I can date this hot lady I laid my eyes on! 

Being single has its advantages in that from having gained a lot of self-confidence with unwavering positivity, I'm free to roam around with less interruptions in my personal life. I was thinking about copying and sending this post to married peers I don't associate with anymore and not in very good standing at the moment for laughs to just stick it to them! I think I'll hold off on it and just write on here that I was considering it. 

Managing Time Properly

I recently literally bought an idiot's guide to managing time properly! I'm going to try to put together what I've gained so far from it and write the little amount that I can right now. 

It's pretty much figuring out everything that you want to do to be happy or have to do and then scheduling each task in the order of importance. The most important thing to do with my life right now is doing my job because I need the money to save up for continuing to make investments. Something that I take granted for and happy that I do is that I always try to listen to the same audio Bible while commuting or driving anywhere by myself. It's going to be about my tenth time running through it.  

I figure that I'm always trying to be a nice guy overall, even though I can cuss up a storm while around nobody and act really moody with myself. My nice-guy act naturally kicks in whenever I'm around people. I just like being this type of person around others, no matter how mad I get. I love being a calm and collected person in general and something I will have to work on while I'm by myself. 

The Lord is graceful and merciful towards me and knows my heart better than I do, but I am convicted of my foul tongue that makes false accusations out loud by myself when I'm completely positive and always lucky enough to get nobody to hear me. I have conversations with myself in a stupid, vulgar, and grouchy manner about past friends who I don't like anymore and can't associate with. I try to not hold the Lord's name in vain either and can catch myself doing that, but the same insults about people I still don't like will come out of my mouth. 

I admit this side of me needs to change even if nobody in the world gets to see this side except for me. Even if I'm around the wife and kids someday, they won't get to see this and probably also never around the family dog or cat! It's just when I'm by myself and everybody is out running errands and having the house to myself, I can let my thick tongue rip up a really good one while it's directed at nobody. I instantly stop though when someone comes into my view from a short inaudible distance.

I guess it's pretty funny in a sense and could be understandable that I'm literally putting in the effort to always stay a normal and nice person no matter what gets under my skin. I'm not doing this for any brownie points either with the Lord, but only because I find it satisfying for my personality. The Lord intended me to be this nice, gentle guy all along, so I guess I'm still inspired by the cross. 

Picking Proper Investments

Based on following the principles of an investment group I have chosen to be a part of for the rest of my life, it's important to allocate savings into appropriate portfolios. I have split it up into three main ones, which is basing it off of making the most sense with what I can. 

In a nutshell, having a lot of money makes it really easy to diversify your portfolio and stay safe to make only a small percentage of profit which would still be comfortable to live beyond your means! The saying that the rich keep getting richer sort of applies here, but it's not like you can stay or get rich if you don't save your money and put it into good investments. 

It's really crazy how a lot of families are lacking in enough funds to invest, but I call myself lucky to still be single and not be responsible for feeding that many mouths. I think it's been natural for me to try to run away from getting married because I was worried about not having enough money. More than that, there's also dealing with rejections or worrying about the lady not being the person you thought you could enjoy. 

A lot of these personal issues were solved from obtaining full self-confidence and inner stability. I'm a pretty demanding person, so it took a lot of hard work and self-awareness for me to acquire it and become happy with myself fully. It's a work of art that I'm proud to have finally achieved! Maybe this is the advice I can give for a dumb friend who is really stubborn about doing well for himself over small incidents and then feeling depressed the next time because life keeps going and he can't reach his goals. I will have reached my own goals by then first and be genuinely happy about it to give enough credibility for him. 

For my three main portfolios, I'm doing fair at it while making profit. I literally have a safe one, moderate one, and also high risk and high profit one. The safest one is called the core portfolio which is sitting at 32% of my investment savings. The moderate one is just a mixture of all types of stocks that range from blue chip to slightly speculative in nature and it commands the most at 38%. My most risky one is the smallest but still has a significant chunk at 30%. 

Currently, I'm putting in only $1000 a month based on calculating my annual income before taxes. I look to be in this game for a very long time and continuing to improve upon doing well with my most risky portfolio. I'm going to be the most hands on with that one but it also has the biggest ROI potential so it makes sense to get most of my attention.

The core portfolio is pretty much the solid foundation that will build upon my investing and trading career. I feel comfortable with giving my stocks the most monthly contribution so this is how I'm going to roll with it for now until I make a lot of money to the point that I'll be able to invest heavily on expensive mutual funds, actual gold, and bonds while hiring an advisor to collect legal tax breaks!  

Dating Concerns and Possible Quick Solution

I have a hot coworker who I think is my type and so far really interested in the thought of trying to marry her and then doing everything with her that would be really fun and satisfying including being a great lover! I'm not worried about being rejected for any reason because I already gained inner stability and full self-confidence not too long ago.

The thing that concerns me the most right now is how I'm still living under my parents' roof! They are not into me marrying outside my pure ethnicity. I am 100% full-blooded with one Asian ethnicity. I guess it's not a bad thing and something to be a little proud over while trying to do good for the whole tribe from time to time. 

The coworker is Asian but she's definitely not my ethnicity. It actually feels really daring and exciting with the thoughts of being in a serious relationship with her for the rest of my life. Because of the work environment and possible inner circle politics, I don't want to drag her into any unnecessary drama until I'm wealthy enough to provide for a nice family with enough luxuries. 

If she doesn't seem bothered by it too much then I guess it won't ever really be much of any discussion in the future. Also, I don't know if she's already in a serious relationship and don't want to set off any unintended hint I'm interested in her by asking or someone else who knows her. I think it's just my preference because I don't feel like all my dating concerns are accounted for yet. Mainly, because I want to keep on doing investments for now and trying to get rich off of it. 

Overall, this one is going to pretty much be a waiting game but I truly appreciate having her as a coworker though and it's fun to maybe fantasize just a little bit about her being my wife. I guess I will stay happy in that type of retrospect until it happens someday or I move on to find another lady who is my type and would deal with similar emotions while being easier to get married to. 

New Investment Outlook

I have decided to make 70% of my $1000 monthly contribution to go into making investment with bonds and stocks while putting the rest into my Forex account. This seems to make the most sense for me from maintaining a long term and less risky investment portfolio for stability while putting the rest into making short term speculations. 

If I become really successful with this current makeup then I will be adjusting it again but I'm looking at this being a long-term situation so my outlook could be several years before I'm looking at something significant to invest! Hopefully, my Forex trades will start turning a very nice profit so I can start allocating my portfolios again. I pretty much figured out how to do all of this now and I'm fairly excited about it. I just need to put my words into working out more regularly and also stocking up on pantry items so I can do some cooking. 

Understanding Important and Good Emotions

In the beginning, I guess being friends with any cute girl meant like the world to me. It was an extremely longing feeling with so much excitement and satisfaction that probably made me come across as being a cute or nice friend to her also. After letting some time pass and overcoming my worrisome emotions over being rejected as a lover or friend, I now realize that those same emotions come from being appreciative over seeing her as a really good friend. 

Maybe it was puppy love and unrequited attention in the beginning because those bubbly feelings were sensational and something I never experienced before. After letting some time wear off while learning to move on from any circumstances that don't go in my direction, it's really become an emotion that I can rationalize while enjoying her as a good friend. I think this friend of mine is a beautiful chick, but she's married and having some issues with her husband. 

I think it's beautiful with how she's able to share some of them with me openly while staying calm. I really want her to be able to work things out with him. It seems like a few other friends and even a smart sibling may be encouraging her to ditch that "loser" but I see it differently. I want her to be happy with this man because she made that pledge and I was there to witness it at her wedding ceremony. 

Sticking to the Habit

I think the main things to have is self-awareness and commitment. It can get a little hard sometimes to be mindful of what you are supposed to be doing, but I think this can happen for anyone. 

I think it just comes down to accepting how things are and embracing them as they happen while going after reaching your goals. It's probably better to not push them off to the side if possible and to maybe limit the activities that might not be that necessary to possibly save some more time for relaxing and getting work done.

Putting myself into a deep train of thought, I think I just need to get writing this post out of the way first. Then, check up on my trades and be on top of the investments I'm doing. It's just a matter of putting myself into motion regardless of what I'm feeling and then concentrating enough to reach after my intended goal.

Pursuing Main Goals

I think the main thing I really need to do now is take a bigger diet of watching anime or other forms of entertainment and work on my main goals. I'm pretty solid with focusing on my daily efforts to do some speculating off the Forex market. I also would like to give into just going with the flow with investing into some companies, I'm just going to have to trust in the theories I read up on and adjust to it however is necessary. 

Based upon my experiences with doing some trading, it does make a lot of sense at least so I'll go with it for now and ride the up and down waves through the years of owning stocks. I'm really looking forward to contributing to my investment portfolio monthly and cutting down on expenses or losses. It's just a matter of doing it. 

I'll just have to let go of watching some fun shows so I can put in a little more time to do a bit cooler and more practical things. 

Adjusting Personal Schedule for Improvement

I think it's just a matter of being aware with what's going on in my mind and just making the courageous decision to do something. It's basically making the trade-off of putting in the hard work for the longer term investment which might not even be foreseeable at the moment and less enjoyable than the temporary rush that I'm getting from lounging around while streaming videos!

It's really my goal and what I want to do anyway, so I can enjoy having even more fun during later days. I guess this makes things still positive for myself because I'm still working on it. It's crazy, but I don't really need a life coach nor have to be dependent on someone anymore for accountability. I technically have this blog to practice being appropriate, and it's doing wonders from just typing all this down! 

This really is a unique blog in that I'm not looking for any feedback from anybody nor receiving a lot of positive encouragement. The inner happiness and confidence starts from within the individual, and it's something I managed to finally gain. I think it's rewarding in a sense to see numbers go up, which would indicate interest from a reader or even computer that's trying to sniff around my feeds!  I'm not the one that's contributing to it, so in a sense I find it unique and actually encouraged by even a small amount looking at this site. It's well-above what I expect all the time and that's seeing the number 0, so that's how I'm keeping this cheery tone when I'm remembering to. 

Putting Time into It

I don't think there's really much to do except just try to be onto something consistently that you want to be successful at for a meaningful purpose. Currently, I want to get really good at speculating with the Forex market while investing in stocks and building a really nice portfolio so I can retire. 

On the side, I'm also trying to work out while cooking decent meals that don't take too long. For fun, I want to balance out with watching anime and eventually go out on fun dates while looking to settle down with someone. It looks like I have a good opportunity for this right now with a single lady who likes to call me and think of me as her friend and invite me to hang out with just her. I guess it's a form of pre-dating before trying to move forward into courtship. I'm pretty good about keeping to myself and hiding my urges so it's just going to have to be a matter of feeling if there's a genuine romantic connection and then confirming it with her. 

I'm just really glad to feel a lot of confidence underneath me and all these burdensome negative feelings lifted. It's like I can go on to live my life peacefully and touch base with some annoying individuals I still want to be friends with another time.  

Looking on Bright Side of Things

I'm not really feeling so down anymore whenever I feel like I ran into anything negative. It could be something selfish or an actual obstacle to reaching a nice goal I have in mind. I'm able to come up with different alternatives to keep on feeling good about the situation and to not really worry so much about it. 

For the longest time, I felt bothered by patrol cars driving around my vicinity and whenever I saw one. I usually like to stare at the officers driving near me for a few seconds while taking a walk in the neighborhood on my lunch break. I haven't seen them around anymore, and I thought it kept on happening from writing about Crazy Lee. I don't know if there's an actual correlation, but it would be fun to mess with it and come up with some conspiracy theory. 

My actual guess is that because of the rioting, the police force has been cut back a little and also due to the Covid-19 pandemic, there's definitely not enough manpower to consistently check up on how I'm doing! I feel much more privileged to see cops driving past me but seriously, I feel annoyed almost every time. 

Coming to Terms With Things

I learned something important about myself from taking a personality test. I am both a thinker and feeler. As a thinker, it's more structured and helps me to perform my software engineering job proficiently. It's rather exciting to call myself this and have a neat full-time position while being like an in-house programmer. I feel like one of the managers at work who was crazy with me once from being angry is trying to not butt heads with me anymore. He doesn't even talk to me and tries to avoid involving himself with any work-related affairs. Well, his behavior comes off as immature to me sometimes and it used to offend me. 

Thinking about it, I'm understanding that it was really more about being frustrated at trying to impress people rather than caring about how they feel about me. I do want to definitely be looked upon as a cool guy though, but I'm not so into being part of the spotlight because I'm just not selfish enough in that matter. I'm more selfish about trying to always be the nice guy and feeling so good about it. 

Finding personal stability really came from keeping a positive disposition and working hard towards reaching my goals. I'm a very ambitious person and really do have an entrepreneurial side taking root inside of me. I found something that I'm really interested in doing on my own.

Finding Right Time to Settle

I'm really interested in marrying a hot lady after connecting deeply in a romantic fashion with her. I have found out that I'm not very picky in the looks category because my personal view of thinking certain women are hot has become flexible. 

The biggest drawback for me is that I'm preoccupied with trying to make enough money to live a fairly comfortable and luxurious lifestyle. I'm taking on the long term approach as well, because it seems to work the best for me. I can only hope now that my Forex trades will start delivering massive ROIs while picking it up on a steady basis. I'm now conducting live trades and have made a little profit each month, but I'm not confident enough yet to go all out. I want to make sure that I have a solid trading management plan. 

I do really like the conservative approach with an investment group that I found. I'm really into reading their newsletters daily and following their recommendations. I'm okay with sharing the experience through the ups and downs.

I want to really take care of the lady I end up marrying and have a ton of fun with her while also living a pleasurable and satisfying life. I feel like I need to do my part with making a lot of money as fast as possible, but it's going to take a while realistically. I'm okay with it now. 

Putting in the Work

Yesterday, so I'm writing this post on 9/31; I watched Game 1 of the NBA Finals with the Lakers vs Heats matchup. It was a blow out with my team winning so without much competition going on, it ended up being pretty boring. I wish I spent my time doing something better like working at my investments and doing a little working out, while also looking up some more recipes that I'm interested in cooking. 

I think I'll just go ahead and get those things out of the way like it's a daily chore for me, since I will feel quite stupid if I don't anymore. Also, I'm going to join up with doing some more programming meetups. 

For my current hobbies, I do enjoy skiing/snowboarding, bowling, watching movies, and doing hiking trips. I'm also pretty chill about making time for being with friends whenever I can. 

Trying to Find Satisfaction With My Downtime

I'm currently not impressed with my annual income and want to enjoy making a lot of money while having free time on my hands. The closest avenue I have got to while being in a satisfied state is involving myself with investing and trading currencies. No matter how hard I have tried, it's not a "Get rich quick" scheme with some of the funds I have saved up for it so far.  

I'm running with the advice of experts when it comes to investing in stocks, while doing my own thing with speculation of foreign exchange (Forex). I'm making decent profit from risking so little with my live Forex trades and have been for a couple months now. I'm trying to increase my accuracy by just a tad while picking up on more patterns that I can notice from checking up on my charts daily. It really doesn't take me that long to narrow it down to the ones I'm interested in trading and occasionally, I won't find any either for the day. 

I believe that in the long run, I'll be staying dedicated to making investments and won't pull out from being discouraged sometimes like I have several times with Poker many times from feeling like it's a nonsensical game. For my rationale, professional Poker won't ever cut it for me but I do have enough skills to compete at it for recreational purposes. I believe the opportunity to make big gains is much larger from sticking to investing conservatively with stocks and also speculating with a smaller amount. This is the direction I'm looking to head and it's probably going to take years before I can start seeing a strong portfolio, but I don't really mind because this is where I want to trade in all my hard earned money now. 

Working at More Courage

I think I'm probably distracting myself heavily because I'm currently addicted to watching this anime series. It has its high and low points for having been a well-regarded series years ago and now completed after maybe over 500 episodes and a couple films. I'm able to binge watch a whole lot at once for free without having to do much waiting around anymore. It's really all fantasy but what's crazy is how a two-dimensionally drawn, animated character can be something you relate so well to and can then pretty much feel really weird right off the bat. 

These episodes have some heart and soul to it and even cause some fully grown young male adults to confess comically to tearing up after watching a few of them! They even talk about wanting a certain love interest to behave the same way they have a crush on with just an animated character! I guess that could sound reasonable in its own peculiar fashion. It is after all just for entertainment purposes, but some of the audience have a wide range of complicated issues they haven't sorted through yet. It really does cause some of the more open anime lovers to share what they are experiencing via the comment section. It's not that bad to read them actually. 

I think what I need to work on is being more determined, even when I'm feeling worn down and wanting to back away from putting in some more required work to achieve my goals at the end of the day. In a sense, I believe it's about exercising some courage because the aversion is sort of a fearful emotion I'm dealing with while leaving myself in a state of survival mode. The biggest thing is just being able to recognize it and what is beneficial about this post is that I'm writing it down so I could read it on a future date that's not too far along but enough time to still forget most of the details. 

What I've Done Versus What Should Be Done

I think this is a pretty neat exercise to do, and it does seem a bit childish. It feels like something a first grader can be assigned to do. Maybe one of my home classroom teachers tried to force me to think, but at least my sentences are now written longer! I'm going to try this out because writing it out seems to do well with my psyche. I think I'll first try out with making a "Five things I do versus I should do" list to do some compare and contrast for myself:

Actual	Should
Investing $1000 per month.	Read up on investment reports and buy stocks.
Running 8.5 miles on tiresome trail every Saturday.	Do more sets of push-ups and sit-ups consistently, followed by growing taller stretches.
Improving at becoming a consistent profitable Forex trader.	Approach 70% accuracy, currently at 60%.
Watching shows.	Start out with cooking delicious meals that have fast prep and cooking times.
Maintaining self-confidence.	Attend programming meet-ups.

You Can't Be Loved By Everyone No Matter How Nice You Are

It's starting to make sense from relating it somewhat to the up and down cycles of the stock market. Yet, the stock market has repeatedly shown itself to be a nice investment over time if one is able to follow sound principles and be patient. You really can't be certain how the market is going to perform at any given day but you do have control over what you can, and the top investors have gone on to do really well for themselves. In a like manner, why not follow suit?

I'm relating to how even if someone ends up judging you in a mean and condemning manner, there's really no control you can have over it. What you can control is how you want to feel about and conduct yourself at any given time, no matter what the circumstances are. You can continue to work on making progress with the art of being happy with yourself, even if others disagree with you. It's naturally your own right. 

Despite not being able to be friends with everybody that I would like to and even sorting out misunderstandings or letting go of any ill feelings towards each other; I still feel really good about myself. I think the most important key is to be stable with yourself first in an emotional state of mind and then go after your personal preferences much as you can while finding balance to make it work out with the environment you are surrounded by. I believe I've found it for myself and the general things might add up in good comparison with other happy people. The details won't be exactly the same with anyone because it's like my own DNA and based on how I lived. It's cool though that I can still empathize with others. 

Living a High Quality Life

I think everyone should be able to tell what's the best for themselves. Yet, I'm sure there's plenty of stress and busy schedules going around which could hinder full potential and true happiness for some people. There really are only a few people who sit at the top and lots of individuals find themselves attracted to. Maybe these top individuals are just really relatable to others in a good way, so it gives them a large fanbase. 

Everybody has their own secret sauce, which I will call it, to form a happy life. I'm meaning that you don't have to let things bog you down if you don't want them to. What's important always starts with what's going on the inside. One of the cool things that I love about myself is that I have learned to not let the bad stuff in my life get to me and in its own sense, I think they're really funny memories since I'm still in good health and didn't have to let it impact me personally in a negative fashion. 

Working at Long Term Goal

It looks like I've mellowed down quite a bit over the years but I can't help the fact and thanks to following some readers the type of posts they like to read by me, how I humor myself so much now from some past posts I wrote. I was clearly in a really annoyed state and I see how it wasn't helping certain situations with a few individuals who really lost their minds a little and became too serious over really nothing worth prioritizing over. In other words, they were being a bunch of idiots and I accept how they behaved in an offensive manner with me now. 

I don't know if I can do any more good than harm by bringing it back up with them now. I just figured that they did have some mental breakdowns somewhere and can't regulate it too well because of an overwhelming sense of anger that isn't well-justified to begin with. To explain with being the bad guy right now, they had all this time to contemplate what I really did wrong and make me pay for it with legal ramifications. I really put them on the spot from inciting them really hard and in the end, they couldn't do more than lose at trying to extend a temporary restraining order on me. I had enough self-control to not go against holding myself in contempt with the court of law. I now have plenty more of it from having gained true self-confidence! I'm totally on a roll and can justify myself being more of that bad guy towards them if I want to really mess with them.

I guess from finding this rush of happiness, I would rather act out in a more calm and collected manner while staying positive. I realize that I'm able to regulate my angry feelings better without shouting at anyone or doing something crazy that I'll end up regretting. I don't have any problems with stating truthfully what's on my mind while being an angry bird now and still giving in to being nice and doing a little small talk even when I'm feeling so moody. 

This is what I'm realizing from telling ladies I'm close to that they offended me and explaining it to them properly. They like to respond back to me with some small talk. It's annoying while I'm still in a bad mood with them, but I can't say that I can't live without women in general so I still put up with it and try to keep on playing it nice. It helps to come up with a bad personal joke related to the situation on the fly because laughter really sets the mood in a positive way quickly. I think they end up playing along nicely from wanting to be proper and make up with me in a discrete manner, since I'm a guy she knows really well while still being friends and she's a girl who is already taken and figures won't ever get physically intimate with me. 

Making Improvements

I think with my savings being held at a certain amount at all times, then with the excess I could maybe splurge a little bit on cooking tasty food and buying kitchen appliances! I sound like a housewife right now, I know. I find there's some wonder and fulfillment with cooking dishes since it takes some time to prepare the final product and then gets devoured right away. 

I should start focusing on saving up more now as much as I can also, so putting in $1000 a month or totalling $12000 annually right now sounds like a good plan for just investing. I'm going to have to try my best to limit my expenses now because I do want to have enough to put down an affordable down payment for a new home. 

On top of this, I want to keep on putting in my workouts and getting better at it too. I'm going to have to lay off of watching entertainment a little more. I really want to limit my spending and make it much more sensible with the purchases that I make because it's time to get really serious. It's really come down to four basic daily tasks for me now- investing, trading currency, working out, and cooking. I also have programming more on the side to do.   

Saving Up Enough Money

Right now, I'm considering keeping a minimum amount of cash in my checking account now while being able to save enough to do a little investing and just being patient about everything while doing the best I can to limit my losses and maintain good principles of making money. 

I want to be able to average $1000 per month contribution into making proper investments and the only thing I'm speculating on my own is managing currency trades. It's literally playing with lots of dimes right now because that's what the smallest point in percentage (PIP) is worth. I have managed to rack up currently over $90 of revenue from roughly 17 days of trading this month and it's from sticking to risking up to $5 each time. 

I'm only warming up to the market right now and trying to increase my frequency of wins which is at 60% right now. My target that I would like to get to is 70% from still remembering what a well off and past teacher said. Overall, this currency trading is turning out to be quite profitable and much more convenient than playing online Poker. I have totally abandoned playing Poker for cash now because I just don't have enough passion for it. It doesn't make sense to keep doing something you aren't really interested in to make a living. 

This being said, I will continually save at least $5000 on my checking account at the bare minimum for using as some sort of cash reserve for emergencies or severe hardships. This will be barely enough to get by on my own for a few months if I have to relocate anywhere; plus, I will have some savings coming from my stocks if I need to sell some off for similar purposes. I'm understanding what my total stock allocation is supposed to be based on, which is taking 15% of annual income before taxes and then dividing it monthly. 

Obtaining Wealth

I have noted several times already that I'm on the verge of making profitable and consistent trading months. What's been noted already though is that not one trading style is supposed to be exactly alike. Therefore, it's really a mode of speculating if you decide to hire a trading manager or purchase study material of what's allegedly the next biggest method to turning a profit. 

It may be more common than one would like in that there could be plenty of heads of household who struggle with debt and don't carry much of any savings. I mean if you end up spending more than you saved up then this is the inevitable result. 

Not every brain is going to be tuned in fully to each other, regardless of the warnings, but at least working hard for happiness is the way to go. Things that make us function well can be found out from experimenting safely and in a healthy manner with things you think might interest you and then letting it run its course. This is how I found out eventually that playing Poker for actual cash to make a living won't ever cut it for me. Instead, I'm going to stick to investing and trading the currency market while staying a programmer and trying to come up with profitable ideas on my own. 

Letting Minor Things Go

Based upon what I did yesterday, I'm going to have to just let off of watching TV and YouTube clips while just putting in some work to get to where I want to be. It's pretty much how my mind is acting upon giving into it to have a lot of fun. I mean it would be nice, I suppose but I don't really have all the time in the world for it based on my preferences with what I would rather be doing.

It's a good thing for me to have found out that I really like the thought of being a smart investor. It's based on managing my risk by spreading out my portfolio and limiting any unnecessary losses as much as I can. It can't be helped if I end up losing some years, but I'll be looking to continue to improve and manage my expenses in a sensible fashion. This pretty much means that I'm going to have to accept the things I can't control, but be aware of the ones that I can and do my best at it to get to my goals. 

Drawing Personal Conclusion

I think I mainly need to get my head more into working out, cooking, and doing a little more programming from wherever I can be a little inspired. I guess I have found it works for me from just showing up to an independent study group that revolves around programming and doing something. It's something I could be committed to because I can consider it to be a part of my life and blood now. 

Even though I have feelings of wanting to be married to a healthy hot girl who constantly lusts after my physical attention and makes herself available, I can stay happy with holding on to my dear life and hopefully getting to that point someday! I have this self-confidence that feels good and keeps my hopes alive. I also have my faith in the Lord too which is a bit of a mustard seed now but I'm convinced it's the way to go for the rest of my life even if others continue to reject it.  

I guess that's about it, which is crazy! I love it. Oh yeah, I'm only sticking to investing with a financial group I have chosen to be a part of for the rest of my life and working on my Forex trades for earning some side income. I may try to publish some apps on the store as well and see if I can generate some income from them but it will be for just fun, since I will only use up time and not really that much money for them while also being a part of what I was always meant to do to earn a living! I would like to limit my time from binge watching and balance out how I have some fun to myself. 

Creating an Improved Present

I believe that one of my key advantages from having had this blog for a while is my ability to recall some problems and then write down clever solutions to make myself feel happy. Surely, making fun of people to get temporary laughs doesn't really get to the root of a bothersome issue. I've tried several times and only to allow myself to get more agitated! It just didn't work for me. 

What does work is having a positive mindset and being self-confident while being willing to put yourself through some difficulties and hold back negative feelings just because you want to be nice. I guess that's where I may be lucky in that I grew up to be a nice person and really selfish about being that way, so it's quite a bit easier for me to feel happy for myself over anything that I'm going through. It doesn't hurt as well from having studied really hard as a kid and getting straight A's several times. It's pretty cool when you have it together, even though I wasn't the very best at my school and really wanted to be. I guess you have to be inspired or just born with a natural talent to get there and I wasn't good enough. Still, I can be happy without being the best anymore and going for living a completely balanced and satisfying life.

I think the main trade off I have to consider is letting go of my binge watching sessions for living a more practical life. It could be that I'm stressed out after work that I want to relax though. I mean I think it's healthy to go for this approach and just plain weak mentally, if you stick to a feel-good habit for entertainment purposes and neglect self-improvement. Still, it is upon others to decide how they utilize their time and they are being crazy and unworthy people if they ever feel envious of others compared to their lack of success. 

Thinking about a friend I'm avoiding, he is a low-quality individual from saying things worth obtaining in life is too hard and not putting in any more effort that he should. Life is hard, but having a positive mindset does help a lot with putting in the hard work consistently. It's something you have to realize doing is the right thing eventually and won't know it without conducting safe experiments on yourself. Since he doesn't realize this while being stubborn about living however he wants to and thinking he's slightly better than anyone except Christ, he is an underachiever and feels like an undeserving person. 

He is someone who is better to not associate with anymore, but I will actively reach out to him once I've reached my personal goals. Thinking about it now, with him still willing to talk to me while having blocked my Facebook profile after making him so mad that made him think it was work-related and under stress, he does have a redeemable quality. Whether he feels envious of me or not and wants to ridicule me as a lucky person later on, he carved out his own path from how he wanted to think so he's going to be forced to deal with anything unwanted that happens. The same goes for me too, but I'll be a happier person from having worked hard enough to reach my goals and not let some negative feelings keep me from reaching it. This may be an inspired teaching from me that he might pick up on late in his life and try to pass down to his nieces or nephews.