Working Out Status

At the moment, I think from keeping myself indoors and not taking any gym classes due to the Coronavirus situation, I've gained almost ten pounds from my normal weight. I would like to also be ten pounds under my average and call it my ideal weight from there and then pack on some upper body muscles just for the looks. I don't really care about being the strongest out there! 

I think I just want enough muscle to feel good about how I look and be happy about it- that's all. I don't need it to wage street wars against enemies and intimidate others. It might be fun to arm wrestle and beat this one annoying dude I know though. I can make that my motivation for my physical purpose then- beating strong, crazy people at arm wrestling! 

It's really all in the confidence whether things turn good or get sour. I prefer to be the more positive type of person though, so thinking people are crazy may be negative to others but to me, it's funny and that's a very positive feeling so I'm happy and it all works out in the end. I can't stay mad at them and that's what matters to me the most. It's also a very fun discussion point that I'm sure my opponents would love to stray away from while around others, especially if I have many jokes I would love to calmly tell about them with outsiders listening in. 

Keeping Composure

I think with just about anything, it's really about keeping self-confidence with a positive attitude towards the self while remaining a diligent person. I believe this is the way every person should conduct him or herself. My simple faith in the Lord will still remain with me forever! Even through all the hardships with ups and downs, I have decided to let it stick around. 

With this all being said, I'm willing to remain patient and continually pursue after being the person I would like to be while working towards reaching my goals in life. I would rather not be selfish at all and take advantage of others. My style is to pretty much just put myself in the best position I could be in from hard work and just let it collect all the benefits. I do have quite a high energy driven life, so it might be a little difficult to keep up with considering the ladies I've hung out with. 

I'm not really caring so much about all that superficial stuff anymore from people in general. The only thing lacking that I possess a lot more of now is self-confidence. It came from keeping a positive mind while staying diligent. It totally helps me out with seizing the day! 

Exercising Proper Concentration

I think a great way of doing this is to just flat out keep on going after your goals, no matter how hard it is or tired you are. It's also to have a positive attitude and to keep on trying! 

For myself, I want to cook decent meals, have nice work outs, and become a millionaire for making a routine living. I'm definitely not afraid either to put myself out there and ask ladies out, but I have my own way of conduct and also personal ethics. I guess it's enough for me to be satisfied with thinking someone I'm associated with as just really hot and be all smiles underneath while talking to her. I think I'll figure something out with my opening lines in asking out for dates without being too intrusive. Overall, I just don't care about being turned down and can take it with a grain of salt since I can just keep on staying positive with myself.

This pretty much means that I should be putting off on lesser thoughts for my main goals that I'm sure about and just go for it. If something happens where if I change my mind then I'll just worry about it then. This is how I ended up letting go of making online Poker as a profession for now. If I don't have any job, then I will take it back up again. It's just for trying to earn income because I can and it can wear me down, so I prefer to just put my money into investing while I spend my time doing other things. 

Overall, my personal considerations are really just investing, getting my trades in, working out, cooking, and doing fun activities that are fulfilling. What I'm trying to do without putting much thought into it is listening attentively to the Bible daily. 

Understanding Something Funny About Myself

I was actually a pretty smart kid back then but with a major inferiority complex. I guess it was an issue that bothered me a lot because I was really shy about speaking up and feeling like a mess trying to listen to others' opinions and soak it all in. It was impossible to do and left me so depressed!

Without having dealt with two restraining orders from a guy and girl who became socially awkward with me, I wouldn't have been able to find the happy path I'm taking a part of today. Also along with these restraining orders, I had socially awkward individuals refusing to add me or even removing me on Facebook! It was a mess for almost ten years. 

Now, I have this really genuine confidence underneath me to go find some ladies to date and even get married! The thing is I have to mention something from recalling I didn't have it back then and thinking about it now. I had an opportunity to form a good girlfriend several times with a few nice and pretty girls even though I consider myself to be really short. I was so stupid! 

Adding it all up, some people ask me if I'm married or dating some girls I'm hanging out with now. It's because I'm not that ugly and it finally registers, while being something I can fully accept now. I can accept my past now with confidence while having some good laughs about it and just move on. 

Crazy Gameplan

I have finally discerned what I really need to carry out my ultimate plan against a bunch of ruthless and socially awkward church people. It is to just continue managing a lot of self-confidence with a positive attitude!  

I struggled a lot with this because I felt like a shorty and was so negative about it for like the longest time. It distracted me from working at relationships I wanted to make amends with. As expected from crazy people, they hung on to their negativity and kept on complaining to me that I should go find some help. I really didn't because I never had problems with violating any court orders if it ever got there. It already happened to me twice, and I didn't even defend myself while submitting to the maximum civil restraining order for three years each time. It wasn't even that difficult to manage since I didn't have anything special going on with them. My relationship status with all of them is most likely to remain this way. 

Because they lost in the end, it just proves that they are crazy to my mind! I'm the one who is still rejoicing and dancing around while those people go on living their personal lives without me. In the first place, they never had anything to deal with whatever their original problem was with me. By pushing this onto them, it's like letting them know that they are hanging onto negativity and not able to back away from it and will show it by standing pat with some simple action. They are the ones complaining about really something that's not supposed to be bothering them in the first place. I don't mind saying all of this in person now. 

After all, these things are all just flowing through my head naturally now. It's just mainly communicating it in an assertive manner, and this can't happen without me staying confident and accepting that they are crazy people to my mind. 

Managing Personal Time Off Hours

It's great that I don't really have to concentrate too long to do some investing, since I'm following a successful newsletter. I'm also making the time to do a trading session regularly in the Forex market at night time. Overall, it doesn't take me that long to be finished with all of it each time, while setting myself up for riding into some profit during a volatile market. 

Once I'm done, I have other endeavors that I could be freed up to work on. This is where I would like to consistently do some exercising, cooking, future planning, and practice good hygiene. If there's any time remaining while not being exhausted then I could watch some anime, play some video games, and even go on some fun dates! 

After all, this can be fully managed from just staying positive and focused at it. I'm starting to feel really good about all this. 

I think eventually I will be heading out to programming meetups and other fun events with open-minded people. It's all about socializing and working on having some fun confidently with others. I'm also interested in dating some girls right now and don't really mind who I end up marrying, as long as she's genuinely a good woman! 

Progress in Side Business

It looks like I may have finally come across my secret formula to make a killing off the Forex market. I still have a bit more testing to do with live trading, and it looks promising while delivering accurate and effective results conveniently. My system uses an oscillator, moving average, and formula for calculating critical price levels. I am able to calculate a reward-risk ratio while looking for confluence in three, different time frames. It could even be something I might automate someday for myself. This is something I plan to be so highly secretive about and consider myself to be blessed with having obtained. It won't be the best out there, but at least it will reliably provide some income on the side.

Investing has become exciting for me and the prospect of becoming wealthy with a lot of time to spare is something I hope to reach soon as possible while risking my hard-earned money moderately. I'm not trying to dream of playing online Poker anymore, since it will take up more time than I would like. I will just leave it as a recreational activity now, while gambling only a minimal amount. 

Understanding Purpose to Most of My Activities

1. For working out, it's mainly to lose ten more pounds and then maintain it while building some muscles. It's just to feel I'm strong enough and look good as well.  

2. and 3.  I'm working at a family-owned business and lucky to have been a part of it for almost five years. Working here is about making money, so I can save and invest myself to a financially independent life. It's going to take awhile, and I don't mind so I might as well do a good job here until I'm no longer officially needed.

4. Cooking is to supplement my life with tasty food that I can get from recipes and to also be able to share it with loved ones or acquaintances. Buying food at restaurants is starting to feel really old for me and from having taken the time to cook home-made meals, they truly are the best when all the ingredients get lined up well. 

5. Everything else is just playing with my imagination whether it's for better or worse sometimes. I can think about a few scenarios at any time where I regret having ever been a part of and feel very uncomfortable about it. There's just really nothing I can do about the past now and have to move on while turning myself into a better person. 

Overall, I should be focused on #1-4 whenever I have the chance to do so, until I feel like I've done enough to go out and have fun or I'm just not in that favorable position yet. 

Understanding Better Things

I guess it's nice to have fun things occupy our heads like favorite TV shows, novels, persons, or activities. They can be great leisure and provide a sense of escape and enjoyment for a rather dull and stressful day. Yet, based on our practical goals, it could be that there might not be enough time to always enjoy doing those fun things. 

From thinking somewhere along those lines, I told myself that there were better things to do than playing online Poker and watching porn. I managed to withhold myself into giving into those things because I realized that I had to do something more important. It didn't limit me from relaxing by watching several anime episodes though. I guess I could hold off on this too and try my best to finish my main goals that have a purpose. 

I think the main key point is to connect with what you are trying to achieve for happiness and then to limit those distractions with being attentive to only the necessary ones.  

Proper Body Workout

I think the proper core workout for me will be doing a few light sets of push-ups, sit-ups, pull-ups, and then going for a mild run daily. Along with this, I can do the T25 BeachBody workouts and then head over to the gym for a light workout using weights or take a vigorous class. To top it all off, I can do the growing taller stretches which are equivalent to doing yoga exercises to help promote my growth along with going for recovery. 

With all of this in place, I also would need to cook meals. The only drawbacks I have is that I'm not always in the mood and feel tired. I think it's just a matter of pushing yourself to get there which takes time, commitment, and a positive attitude.

Current Investment Strategy

As of this moment, I feel very comfortable with being a moderate risk taker and having a slightly aggressive approach with allocating my investment portfolio. From having worked out the numbers, I am putting half of my money into a more stable portfolio whereas with the other half, I'm going after risking it to get bigger profits! As of this moment, I'm risking so little on my Forex account to gain some stable traction again before sizing my bets properly. I want to get about three consecutive months of live profit before making it my most risky portfolio but also with the greatest profit potential. 

This means that I will be adding my investment capital by at least $10,000 per year based on my salary. The guideline formula to use is 15% of your annual income before taxes. I desire to become a millionaire ASAP. This aggressive strategy of mine is probably the most comfortable I can be with at the moment while paying nominal fees for guidance. However, I'm looking to risk bigger capital with a service that's supported by a legendary stock trader I personally follow. It does have an expensive $1500 to join every year. Based on the refund you can claim back after having analyzed what to expect from the offer, I'm sold on trying it out. I had to read it carefully about three times to look at the fine details and make personal arguments, but it's the right step for me. If I continue to practice proper money management, I don't mind giving it a year or two to see how I like the service. 

I'm not really about gaining fast money and profit, but willing to take my time to get there eventually. Even though my preference is to get there soon as I can, I'm willing to risk at the most half of my investment portfolio. Along with reading up on investment principles, I find that it's not been hard for me to follow while also keeping a cheery disposition even if I see my stocks are underperforming. 

Staying Disciplined

I think that being personally disciplined is pretty weird to grasp. I have a hard time putting it all together and it's fun to keep on trying, but I just plain suck and didn't put enough work into it because it wasn't interesting to me back then.  Nowadays, I'm starting to see the bigger picture along with having this renowned sense of confidence. I feel like a new adult in this world, but I need to just dive into something and stay focused. 

Why not be disciplined with things that you want to do. I guess it's fun to watch cool shows and binge on your favorite junk food, but doing it too often is just too much isn't it? It just leaves room for desiring improvement if you are a normal person. I think the changes just start occurring from being able to stay positive with yourself and then going for it, regardless of the state of mind you are in. It's like you just will yourself to do it while just embracing the amount of effort beforehand. In a way, it's good because it can keep you occupied with something. 

Despite all this, I'm never going to stop hoping to find a good woman to marry someday and possibly start a family. I'm only acting the way I do because I seriously want to and just get lost into some entertainment. I keep on feeling bad about it though because I keep on neglecting my other activities I want to do. Maybe, it's because I want to keep them at bay and go for it when the timing feels right. It could be from working long hours as well, which hinders me from taking on a more active lifestyle then I would like. 

Yet, I can't complain with this cushy position right now and with the income I can save up to invest for my retirement. I want to get rich fast and show some sign of life soon as possible. I know it might not be like this, so I'm willing to put in the effort while keeping a positive inward attitude. 

Just Committing to It

I guess it might feel crazy sometimes and anti-climatic but diving into a daily, active life is probably the way to go. From the investing that's going on, I'm not really spending a lot of time on it from using trusted sources. For my Forex trading, I have yet again made another adjustment to it and it's pretty much going to be like learning as you go. Maybe, I will get around to automating it. 

Right now, I don't think I need to focus on my online graduate classes for now. I'll just let it collect some online dust and get back to it if I'm ever looking for work again. I have a pretty cushy job even though I wish to go off on my own and earn a million dollar salary with a lot of time on my hands. This is why I have chosen to get myself into investing and trading. 

With playing online Poker, it does help pass the time but I think I want to focus on other things and only play it when I'm waiting around at a venue. It can be played on the phone. I don't really care about losing to bad beats or better hands anymore. It's pretty much a form of gambling, so what do I have to expect in the end? I'm playing with real money, so losing will be a teaching tool to not go all in if the opponent is putting in this much money at a certain situation. 

There are some very skilled players though, but I'm not nearly at their level as I would like to think, so as a recreational player I'm trying to always mimic professional players by playing tight with my money and then turning aggressive on decent hands. I'll just walk away from the temptation to turn great because the game feels like rust to me after playing for a while. My ultimate goal is to be a multi-millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands and playing Poker regularly will not be giving me that type of desired life-style from having to commit my time to being at tables.

However, if I end up losing my job and need to take on some odd jobs to scrap by, then I will play this game again. I'm looking to stay an investor for a lifetime and make a living out of it while having so much free time to do whatever like spending time to cook delicious and healthy food while traveling the world to places. It would be even nice to donate a chunk of change to non-profits and get a tax write-off from the inefficient government! 

This weekend is just going to be a lot of planning for me, working out, and trying to cook something. 

Practicing Self-awareness

For me, I don't jump right into giving my own personal feelings but like to give myself some time to let it settle down and reflect on it. Adding on personal confidence of my abilities with a positive attitude towards myself, it's been a life-changing experience for me. I'm not bogged down by what others think about me nor accuse me of. I'm going to say things back in my defense, of course, if I find it worthwhile to do. I think adding on to how I believe some awkward individuals are literally crazy while being jerks to me, it allows me to feel more freedom to back off now. 

I'm feeling a lot more relaxed and happier than I was before. I have accepted what my feelings are like with my best lady friend and open to sharing them with her. It's nothing negative at all, unlike comments I exchange texts with a guy who I think would be considered a village idiot! For a guy with a pea-sized brain and inflated personal ego, I don't think he will ever amount to anything he wants to be successful in. I'm still hoping while maybe it's a lost cause now that he will put in a lot more work on developing his mental capacity.

I feel like I'm gaining more information on him with the way he likes to interact with me, and see it as a good warm up with expecting what's to come with that church I eventually walked out on. I'm coming back because I see unbalanced and stored-up negative energy while wanting to restore harmony for my own selfish gain and personal sense of justice. I don't have any qualms about defending myself confidently in court while exposing their nature and inability to solve their own personal problem with me. In the end I won, but it's still the type of victory I don't want to savor from feeling negative and unbalanced energy from the adversaries. I'd like to restore it to a peaceful and working neutrality at the very least. 

I have dealt with people who can become socially awkward with me that can be considered almost abnormal and want to see if I can bring a few of them back to eye level. I have so much personal confidence now that the end result doesn't matter, and the experience I gain from this passionate endeavor of mine will help me out with maintaining a stable and loving relationship in marriage! 

This is a really cool epiphany, but I'm seeing some conflict of interest with this nice lady I'm accustomed to sending these to. I'm going to hold off on it, since the last message went out with a bang and this would change it into another cliffhanger that I don't desire to make her feel at the moment. 

Speaking About Dreams

This is going to be just a bunch of wishful thinking, which is probably foolish to write about anyway. I guess if they happen, then great but if not, I'll still keep myself positive and work hard at finding the solution. My current endeavors with investing is turning out to be very interesting, and I'm looking forward to building a financially independent life as fast as possible.

I would really like to make a million dollar income while having a lot of time to myself someday. I'm not going to be a wasteful spender either. I just need enough to enjoy myself and a good woman by my side. I'm not so hung over appearances anymore, even though I find some bodies hotter than others. I can settle in this area with someone less attractive as long as we're willing to keep on having some great sex! It doesn't have to be all the time either but doing normal couple activity while being out in public like holding hands and kissing at appropriate places would be really neat.  

I think I've matured a lot fairly rapidly from having made social adjustments while clinging on to personal assertiveness and staying confident even through a few, daily rough patches.  

The thing I would like to work on the most right now is being invested more with doing the activities I actually have in mind of doing besides just letting myself get carried away with something else. It's mainly personal entertainment that I'm just moving towards, and I don't really feel bad about the amount of fun I'm having either. It's just that I want to do more with my life and the first step is really making myself financially independent while staying lucky with all other things. 

Holding It Together With Confidence

I think from keeping a positive mindset underneath all the challenges that life brings forth is the way to go! What also helps fuel it a lot is from having come to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. From trying to listen to the Bible and letting myself be willingly opened up to it, it really does give me this sense of serenity. I still don't understand everything that's happening in the Bible, and it's like my 10th follow through on listening to it while driving on the road and sorting through so many personal distractions. I think it's the thought that counts, along with the effort that I'm trying to make daily which is starting to pay off. 

Self-confidence probably really means assertiveness, since it's a state of not letting anything truly bug you to the point of no return. I'm not so bothered by the socially awkward people I dealt with in the past now. I think that's how they were truly acting, which really agitated me and gave me anger issues for a while that I finally learned to surrender. I didn't do anything bad to them either. They were just seeing things from having felt really bothered about trying to help me out. They were just being really immature with me, and it's okay because I can feel content about what I want out of them 24/7 and wherever they are at. I'll even make it up on the go, if I have to resort to it.  

Reflecting with confidence in my personal abilities has been fun to do lately. I really like focusing but not getting myself too carried away. It's really just a matter of continuously trying now. 

Staying Properly Focused

I think the main thing is to just stay positive no matter what happens and keep on trying your best while going with what you have at the moment and continually making adjustments along the way. It's important to have a full connection with what you are looking to do in your life, and I guess that feeds your soul and helps you stay willingly focused. 

Even though I might be tired about doing something, it's sort of like going for a run. I'm not always in the mood for it, but I go do it anyway. It can feel like a drag sometimes while I'm running, but once it's over, it feels quite refreshing and something I'm satisfied with knowing that I'm making it work. 

I think in a way, this is how I need to start treating my long term endeavors for my own success while maintaining a positive mind. I'm not going to see results right away and will have to keep working at it, but I'm convinced with following a source I picked up on. I'm more comfortable about managing my up and down feelings now with investing and staying disciplined. I'm pretty used to it now.  

Overall, Nike has the perfect slogan, "Just do it." I want to. I think personal entertainment needs to come dead last now while focusing on more practical things, since I'm more people-oriented. It's a great thing that spending time on investing won't take me forever. 

Dealing With Being Short

I still feel like crying sometimes when I'm talking to taller friends underneath. I think it just takes some getting used to. From watching anime of tiny and powerful creatures, I can be inspired by fake characters. I shouldn't think of it as much while just being confident. Basically, I shouldn't be bothered by it at all and keep a positive feeling underneath me while acquiring new talents or strengths. 

I don't really have any problems with making fun of my own height now, and I guess I should be really focusing on gaining wealth and paying attention to Scriptures much as I can, regardless of whatever distractions are going on in my head. 

This is why I'm constantly repeating what I'm listening to and not rewinding. It's because I want to not miss anything but recall much as possible. From just playing the same audio Bible, I've gone over it amazingly ten times already in like the last six years. I still don't understand much, and I don't even have a calling to be a pastor, but I feel like being attuned to the Lord's way is the right thing to do. I have an open heart and am not disturbed anymore by the evil things that are described in the Bible. I would rather cling to my faith in Christ first than anything else. 

Newer Update on Work

Honestly, I think I'm really lucky to have this pretty cushy job and the ability to do what's required of me to maintain this position by myself. I could strive for better excellence, and I think I will try new things as requirements strictly require but I'm trying to keep it comfortable for everyone else while sticking to a program that's been a staple to a small company for almost twenty years. What's crazy is how there's still room for development with this program from catching those details. I may have a talent for it from having grown up interested in playing on my computer with all sorts of uniquely designed programs. I was just lucky to be given an opportunity by my own dad.

I'm just another lucky guy who can put in a decent amount of work when I'm fully invested with something. It's nice that I have been put into a position to do a few little things while continuously programming on the computer. I'm pretty approachable as a result and don't mind always doing minor favors to help out a company. It gives me time to refresh my mind while stressing out about a programming problem at work. 

I don't want to do this forever and move out of my parents house while being independently wealthy. I feel like I'm lucky with having found a great source to help me now. I'm also really confident with what my efforts in swing trading the Forex market has led me to. 

I'm a few years away from turning 40 now and have no official girlfriend even though I have two main love interests at the moment. A guy told me recently to not get married and keep on doing what I'm doing. I responded with a "Yeah, it's fun." Looking into it a little more, I don't think I need to rush and really be considering who the right person will be for me and just figure it out in the end.  

Really Excited About My Personal Outlook

I think I've really found the right source to help jumpstart my earnings with making a living and to take charge of my own financially independent life. I'm very optimistic and excited now about seeing a turnaround to my own personal fortune. It's not going to be happening overnight, but at least I believe that I have found good information published by successful investors who are willing to share. I'm going to take this very seriously and ride the wave, since all this hard work to earn a living has left me feeling pretty immune to it. I might as well just do stuff that I'm interested in, while living a quiet and exciting life! 

I'm so used to the downturns of my money not working for me now that it really doesn't bother me and systematically, I'm willing to rebuild again from the bottom. It's just like how stocks work. They rise and fall and you buy and sell and occasionally just take a loss because it's the nature of the business. I'm totally immune to the cycle now because I believe that in the end, I'll be making profit as long as I keep sticking to the right principles. I don't need to experience this 24/7 and that's what investing in stocks and speculating on Forex will offer me.

I'm really looking forward to having a blast for the rest of my life and staying nice to people, even the ones who were so crazy when they thought I was trying to bother them so much. I don't have anything against them anymore, which was basically my need to just keep on venting about how I perceived their poor actions towards me left me infuriated. I'm over it because I accept they are crazy and it's this angry mood I'm able to self-regulate by just accepting the same positive thought of how they are so crazy to me! 

Summarizing My Ambitious Plans

I believe that the core of what I'm just doing in general is about maintaining a nice balance of self-control while getting some nice work done. I'm very interested in investing my money and building my wealth now. I have the resources and don't think it's like the hardest thing in the world to do while requiring some experts who demand fees to keep on working for you! I've found a pretty happy ground, since I can classify myself as a moderate risk taker. I don't mind as well with taking a tiny portion of my savings to gamble like crazy to learn how to make some outrageous profits. It will be possibly at a later date, once I have this comfortably going for me.

I'm comfortable speculating with my personal trading system now in the Forex market and continuing to hone it as well to possibly let it become automated someday. I don't really want to give it away for some fee or encourage others to join in, so I'll just treat it like it's some black art of making money and how only a few will ever gain the ability to be successful at it. Overall, I really like the idea of being this anonymous rich guy who can make enough financial contributions to help out society later on. 

For the meantime, I'm lucky to have this full-time job that's paid salary and is impervious to the pandemic since the government still needs us to work. If I end up losing this job for any reason, then I will start looking to do odd jobs while playing Poker and completing my studies on software engineering. I might even end up doing my grad courses just for fun while attending programming meetups regularly. It sounds like just fun to do and stay motivated while being around good people. I will also look to attend my local gym classes regularly as well. I'm not so worried about my appearance anymore because it's about just maintaining confidence. 

Fixing Up Yesterday Part II

My plans for yesterday were to continue reading up on investing, trade the Forex market, do some growing taller stretches, work out, plan, cook, and then keep on watching anime episodes. I ended up just watching anime episodes and knocking out early! 

Maybe being entertained is the best, so I should save it for last if I can get the chance. It's just that if I don't get a dose of it, then I'm not really regretting it the next day, so I should just exercise some more positivity with getting the other good stuff out of the way first so I will feel much more content with myself the next day and then form a good habit that will make me so happy!

Supposed to be Off the Record

This one was written for a friendly girl I've been messaging monthly. I felt like I've been writing to her a little too frequently. It might come across as like I've been dwelling on it too long. It isn't true because I feel like I'm living different life experiences from enjoying myself often and from going back to reflect on what happened and how I could better myself. I'm throwing in the accusation here with how I'm just annoying them so much and driving them crazy. They are weak-minded about something they did on their own accord and can't man up to it. I'm not blaming them for anything because I don't care and won't ever give up on them. The letter starts from below, and it's an important epiphany for myself. I'm choosing not to message the girl but I feel like this is too much of a work of art to discard right now. It begins and ends with quotation marks, if any readers are interested and I'm inviting them in to be nosy if they want to just for today of course! 

"

I thought you guys were acting so crazy back then and it was driving me so nuts! I labored to get along with you guys and still haven't given up. I blame nothing now for the incident that happened. I will probably go far as thinking it was a minor plot devised by Satan. I believe that the fallout happened because I neglected to do a few crucial actions. I overcame my trial of mainly lacking so much personal confidence. I'm going on a voluntary hiatus [sorry, name blotted] to prepare for a very intense moment of conversing briefly with anyone related to this past life. Thanks for having already apologized on their behalf and admire your humility and graceful approach.

I'm sure it saddened you a little as well with how things turned out. There are still two sides to the story, and it just looks like I kept on being annoying and getting away with stuff. The antics I did deserve only a slap on the wrist and you guys overreacted and kept on turning into a bunch of crazy yellers momentarily! I can accept what I perceive to be silly hotheadedness from you guys and work at doing my own personal magic for my own gain, which is obtaining another step up the ladder and exploring humanity more while trying to figure out my godly desire to encourage others with accepting Christ.

" 

Fixing Up Yesterday

I realize now that I'm laying off of playing online Poker during work nights. It just takes too much of my time to earn a decent living! I prefer to spread out my risk while trading stocks and currency on a long term scale, which means the ups and downs will be on autopilot. As long as I end up with some profit, I can continue to work with this while I do other things worth my time. I had a lot of fun watching this popular anime series about this guy who is shorter than me in real life but is the strongest character in the show! This gets me ideas on how I should start pumping some iron and strutting my stuff while not worrying about being written off as a shorty by the shallow crowd. I'm not really so concerned about it anymore, and what helped me get over it was just developing my personal confidence through hard work and maintaining a positive attitude! 

I ended up binge watching the series a little bit more than I should have while neglecting my main activity of work I had in mind of doing. I will this time put in a little bit of work and then watch the show, while mixing it together this time. If I have the time, then I will start preparing for what to cook and also make preparations for going on a hiking trip for next month to Yosemite National Park. It's operating but they are limiting the amount of visitors and I was fortunate to reserve one of their available spots. We will be playing the lottery in a span of three days to try to hike their most popular one called the Half Dome!  

Pretty Decent Content

I'm writing this post while being 28 days ahead of schedule, so from backtracking, it would make the date July 9th. What's pretty neat is that I don't really need to spend a lot of time, but I have adopted a practice of proofreading these posts. I'm also composing this like an e-mail on my Gmail account which has a scheduler, so that's how I'm able to get away with delivering these posts on time flawlessly everyday. I messed up on one post and fixed it two hours later. It happened on June 12th, if anyone wants to check it out. It's just another regular post for me while journaling the important things that happened for me on just an ordinary day!

Overall, it's pretty cool to see some number of reads on each post that I can't credit myself for. From having looked at my unusual surge of visits today, I noticed there was someone from England who cared to read through this blog 200 times. It could be the same person, since I can't fault them for binge reading cringy material like I do to myself. A couple posts that I saw being read were unbelievably pretty good from the year 2013 and sort of crafty actually. It was all words on how to do something, but I didn't carry it out with any conviction. Looking back, I really should have put the good stuff I wrote into full effect on those minorly crazy people at that church who ended up ticking me off so heavily. The trick is to just talk them through it, and my soul is pretty calmed down now from having recovered a lot of confidence and learning to get over my inferiority complex from feeling like a really short man. 

I have chosen to just take the honest approach but I will add in some craftiness to it as well, much as I need to. It's really just accepting all that happened and working hard to make oneself happy. For myself, I like to be happy from making myself get along with the worst of the bunch, since I can run myself crazy like that. I might as well let them know that they are the worst I haven't had to deal with all my life, right after them! 

Current Plan of Action

I'm practically working about ten hours a day five days a week and pretty happy with the workload I'm given so far. I'd like to make the most of my off hours by just investing, swing trading, cooking, staying healthy, and then having some fun! I do have these unexpired courses for doing software engineering on hold now, and I don't really mind leaving it like that for now. I will complete it when it's necessary. 

I can see myself playing Poker recreationally now whenever I have some down time to try to earn some money. When I'm home though, I think I will just lay off of it to do other things. I guess this is my plan for now and something to set in motion. I feel like I'm starting to understand what it means to start getting practical.  

Understanding How to Manage Time

Yesterday, I realized that from playing Poker, I was getting pretty worn out after playing a couple hours of it. To top it off, I lost about five buy-ins and recovered one of them through profit. It's just the nature of the game, so I'm not worried about it. These ups and downs are going to be fairly common, so I figure why not put something like it on autopilot while I go enjoy my life? 

This is where I figure I can do some savings and then focus on doing whatever that interests me. If for some reason, I lose my day job and can't really sustain myself with my investments, then I will have to get back into playing Poker again while studying my software engineering courses and driving around to earn money doing a few odd jobs. 

I'm just not going to stress playing Poker so much anymore because it really wore me out yesterday and even though I could keep on playing just to pay the bills, I would rather do something else with my time now like go work out and do some cooking. Now, I should be waiting to fulfill my curiosities or desires to be entertained last after I get the more meaningful tasks out of the way daily. I only do have like a few hours in the evening before I completely knock out to recover.  

Dealing With Past Psyche

I think a lot of it is really from learning how to cope with past issues. I felt like my condition wasn't severe enough to warrant a visit to a therapist's office. The self-awareness is really something that probably came from diligence and continuously keeping a positive attitude through it all, while experiencing at least mild success.  It was mainly how I kept on lacking self-confidence and being so negative underneath with just myself and unable to let it go peacefully. 

Now, I realize from having dealt with a lot of crazy people who can't progress much further than I realize for my own potential; the tide has turned from just feeling constantly good about all of it. Nothing is off-limits for me when it comes to discussing anything, except for wasting time at trying to verbally abuse someone. It looks like I don't need to message this one nice girl anymore who was of good help from exercising some humility and assertiveness. I appreciate and am joyfully grateful with her for having been like a messenger sent by God. I'll be honest in my opinion with how I think she would enjoy a little of my company but she's married now so won't be chasing after her anytime soon!

Whatever I do, it's mainly going to deal with personal confidence and how I want to run the show. I do have a short fuse that I keep buried underneath, but from just wanting to be so cool and nice all the time, I just imagine it in my head but end up putting on a show for myself to be proud about later. 

Managing Time Better

I'm practically on a roll right now, and I feel that the best way to do good is focusing on things that are important to you and a definite priority with what you have to do. I guess for a time being then my main priority was really more along the lines of continuously having fun and looking for a smoking hot girl who wants to do it a lot with me after getting married. It must be a typical fantasy for guys in general. I lacked a lot of confidence from just being short in general and feeling so much negative energy about it.

Getting out of this phase took awhile, but I really have the Bible to thank for helping me out here. I think it's associated with the act of trying to listen to my audio Bible while driving and letting my mind go someplace else that I've been continuously improving. Basically, I want to focus more on doing what I think or feel are the necessary and practical things while focusing on the excess fun stuff later if I still have time. My personal opinions are of course subject to change on any given moment.  I can work on just doing what I feel is the bare necessities of living a good life responsibly before unwinding with some fun. 

Keeping Things Practical

I'm going to focus on life with the things that I must do to ensure my well-being now, while exercising humility. I'm a short guy, but I choose to not hate myself at all while staying confident about getting through anything. No matter the hardships, I will try the best I can to keep it alive. 

I like this whole aspect of doing the serious things that I must do first and then carrying out the fun stuff later, if I have time. This has been the very art of working on myself, while chilling with a girl I'm really close to. She shares with me a lot of things going on with her personal life and wow, she gets stressed out at life with just about anything a lot! She will say her excuse is she's a girl, so I'm not going to bring this up to complain, since I still like her a lot for who she is. I don't know, but just maybe, I could end up marrying her and being together for long as we both live. She's not interested in having kids, and I'm totally fine with that. It would be extra mouths to feed anyway and also would be nice to keep a nice flame in our relationship lit.

For another girl who sounds interested in me, she might be the real deal for me also. I think with this girl, whenever she's in a great mood, I just have to be genuinely nice which I think turns her on quite a lot and then it's pretty much having my way with her in the love department. She is a pretty looking thing with a healthy body also and looks very Asian. Both of these girls are light-skinned, and they have their noticeable flaws I would have to work around. I seem to be hanging on okay so far. 

Basic Schedule

I feel really confident of myself these days and with where I want to be headed. Basically, my side business is to do well in investing and trading Forex while speculating. My short gig that I'm putting a little effort into is online Poker. I thought I was going to run away from it, so I guess I'll just call it a recreational activity to try to make money even though I want to call it a minor vice. I have a system in place that seems to be working pretty well now, so I'll see how that goes and if it will help out with the lifestyle I'm looking for in the future.

I'm really going to look into cooking some easy and delicious recipes as well now, while also working out more regularly. I just want to do more smart things now and get to a financially independent life where I can live on my own and even provide enough wealth for a nice marriage. I think I can confidently work at being happy now while staying humble about all of this. I'm looking forward to reaching my goals by working at them. It's going to be pretty fun!