I think a lot of it is really from learning how to cope with past issues. I felt like my condition wasn't severe enough to warrant a visit to a therapist's office. The self-awareness is really something that probably came from diligence and continuously keeping a positive attitude through it all, while experiencing at least mild success. It was mainly how I kept on lacking self-confidence and being so negative underneath with just myself and unable to let it go peacefully.
Now, I realize from having dealt with a lot of crazy people who can't progress much further than I realize for my own potential; the tide has turned from just feeling constantly good about all of it. Nothing is off-limits for me when it comes to discussing anything, except for wasting time at trying to verbally abuse someone. It looks like I don't need to message this one nice girl anymore who was of good help from exercising some humility and assertiveness. I appreciate and am joyfully grateful with her for having been like a messenger sent by God. I'll be honest in my opinion with how I think she would enjoy a little of my company but she's married now so won't be chasing after her anytime soon!
Whatever I do, it's mainly going to deal with personal confidence and how I want to run the show. I do have a short fuse that I keep buried underneath, but from just wanting to be so cool and nice all the time, I just imagine it in my head but end up putting on a show for myself to be proud about later.
