Been Staying Busy

I guess there are a lot of stuff I could do to just keep myself busy. I do feel a little cheesy about watching like one or two hours of television, which feels like a lot to me now so I guess I really don't. I am going out to the gym a lot more consistently though. I am really enjoying the extra energy I'm getting from working out and getting some vital nutrients in my system. I mean my body feels great! I can even go off of less sleep more efficiently now if I had to.

One thing that really gets me to drop everything is watching anime sometimes. I guess I'm such a nerdy fan, but then again I'm just psyched out and have my eyes glued on the tube from looking at all the beautiful artwork and animation and just getting immersed into the world. I've read on Google Images that the best female anime characters don't exist in real life for guys!

Magic the Gathering Days

My closest buddy from high school has been all over Magic: the Gathering ever since I introduced it to him. He ended up going so crazy that he worships some YouTube videos that talk about some strategies. He really likes the style of the game because there's so much variance and pretty much a you-name-it approach which makes the game so fun to want to master against everybody.

He gets really competitive and doesn't let me take back my mistakes because he knows that if he lets me, I will end up winning. It sort of sucks to be laughed at like that especially in a casual setting, but okay, imagine it was like the whole world tournament and I did something something like that, then yeah, I can see that I don't deserve winning. I guess my buddy sees me as this high caliber player type who has brought his game to the next level.

It was annoying sometimes and I just didn't feel like playing against him because of his mannerisms but okay, I'm just starting to not care so much about it anymore. He was saying that I have a big ego to my game, and I guess he doesn't mind that still to this day because he enjoys beating me no matter what happens!

Choosing To Mature

I just read on the Bible in the book of Proverbs that a person isn't supposed to try to correct someone who doesn't mind where he or she is at. Basically, if a person just puts up a front and looks like he isn't going to accept it and just keep on arguing with you, it's pretty much time to just bail.

I see it now that with me having yelled at the top of my lungs with certain people, it was just respect that I was commanding from them. The passion and fire even though I'm yelling is contagious and in a way out of all that yelling and rage to direct it at a positive goal is truly an enviable quality to want to have.

I am ready to get really worked up and let my fire out when someone tells me that I'm crazy. It has to be done at right timing though. I'm not afraid to let all of that passion and rage to motivate another to do something positive in this world to come out now. Probably with just a random stranger though, I might just start laughing and let it go with a shrug.

Definitely though, the principle that I let go of for so long is to not try to teach someone if they don't want it. It's only going to make things more worse.

Short and Tall Couples

It's like nowadays, it really doesn't matter if the man is taller than the lady. I guess there are ladies who exist that don't care about their man being shorter than them. A really short female friend I know said, "Who wants a guy who is shorter than the girl just to be honest!" Okay, whatever. If I'm attracted to a woman, whether she's taller than me or not, then I will try to engage in a conversation.

It's pretty hard to approach a girl because most of the time, I don't even find her that attractive! It's so weird. I guess I've been around the world so long enough to find that just trying to focus on looks gets really old. I do it anyway because I figure if she looks attractive to me then at least I won't have to look at other women if I end up marrying her. I'll see if I can just get along with attractive women and it's actually quite fun to do so.

It's actually a lot harder than I thought to be nice to mean ladies or just maybe, it's me not liking something about them, so they end up dodging me in some way because I get all argumentative and scare them. They are just being funny and those girls are just being a bunch of sissies. What do you expect, they are girls going through emotional moments. Imagine having this girl I scared for not a very good reason trying to lead the whole country. Oh man, I would lose a whole bunch of complete faith in humanity if that ever happened!

Filtering Bad Stuff Out of Head

I used to have this personal agenda of how I had to vocalize all my thoughts in the most honest and pure fashion with everybody. In a short amount of time, I would find out that people just wanted me to leave them alone and shut up!

This is where it now gets to me in that it might be true for everybody, in that we are all tempted by evil thoughts that go on in our hearts and minds. The famous psychologist and probably well-hated Sigmund Freud talked about how the unconscious mind is driven by wild urges to satisfy our intimate desires and aggressive behaviors.

It's in this manner where I have learned to just not vocalize that side of me while I'm stressed out or feeling like my head is about to go insane. I just let it detract from my conscious while I'm heavily engaged with some difficult work that is just pestering me! It's about being well-focused and concentrated on the good things of life.

Instead of being so blunt and plain-forward, I see that it's actually quite good-manners and still being honest by being upbeat in your replies and thoughtful. It might even help soften the hearts of a few troubled minds every once in awhile. As a person who has engaged in some literal writing, I've seen a metamorphose probably from letting myself get carried away from reading up on anything interesting to me.

Daily Tasks I Ignore

I currently have on my phone a list of twenty-four things to do, and I don't do the majority of them. That's a big surprise isn't it?

I'm going to just point out the things that I don't do, which is on that list on a daily basis. I don't do programming, climbing gym, growth stretches, bowling, golf, cooking, design document, financial aid, health, vehicle recall, dentist appointment, check nose, sing songs, and dance on a daily basis.

I really need to fix my financial aid situation and I just keep pushing it off to the side. I need to really get that taken cared of. I also need to set my health appointments which I haven't done in like years even though I have medical insurance. I guess I must just not really care or something because I must feel I'm in great shape.

Keeping It Pure

I guess I'm going off in a direction now where I'm finally coming to terms with situations that really bothered me a lot! I don't really need to vocalize them, and I don't plan to talk about them anymore with anybody out of just respect for the people I frustrated from being annoying to them. I just can't help it, but laugh at some of these statements I just wrote.

I'm just closing my eyes and trying to hide myself underneath my own hands, while laughing in a sign of trying to show personal modesty. I'm feeling a lot more gentle and calm, but I still need to continue to be creative. I guess it's fun to just have follow-up with someone everyday whether via text or phone call and just be relaxed and yourself. It's basically cool to get along with somebody and feel sort of in-sync with life and having relationships with others.

It's also a lot of work to stay close, even when the kinks aren't so good. This is a really funny comment indeed.

Left An Entertaining Controversial Reply

This is just discussion over a health product called Herbalife for me. I don't even know if it's controversial. I guess it is, if people are taking sides and since it looks like I'm on one side, it would be then!

Check out this website that talks bad about Herbalife because of its ingredients. http://www.ancestral-nutrition.com/an-unbiased-review-of-herbalife/

Maybe the author is done with responding to Herbalife sheep and my comment might have been too overwhelming. It's more like a long essay that could sway the audience because I'm just good enough like that. Okay, maybe she might not let it go through. We will have to see! I'm supposed to be the last one on there, but in case it never goes and she just wants people that support and cheer her up, here it is:

Dani, it's nice to be informed of ingredients that don't look safe. Despite me using it, I understand your health assessment of the product so I'm not bothering to promote it to anyone. There are people who say good things about Herbalife and those who don't. It isn't a perfect world, so I want to entertain your questions you have reiterated. 

How are GMOs healthy?
How are transfats healthy?
How is MSG healthy?
How are processed ingredients healthy?
How are artificial sweeteners healthy?
How are rancid vegetable oils healthy?

I heard a long time ago that MSG is bad in that even though it can help make food taste better, some people are allergic to it and can die from a result. Either Herbalife is really good at covering up incidents causing those deaths or the ingredients associated with it on that product might not chemically react to form that substance.

You did state in the article carageenan comes from a seaweed, so it is technically derived from something in its natural state. If some type of study has shown sucralose is pretty safe to consume, the same goes for the other substances that raise your alarms. 

This loosely reminds me of my Master's level class with writing scientific, research papers. I scored a 100% on it, so I've learned quite a bit on some jargon researchers use. From doing literature research (conducting a survey of all the research out there), I am going to assume there are proponents for whatever reasons or conflicts of interests they have and also opposition with the findings. 

This is a pretty fun example I had the privilege of discussing about in my class. For the website, Luminosity, the organization claims that people grow smarter from playing their games. I looked at some studies that stated otherwise and some that did.  Overall, from a consumer point of view, it's inconclusive for me, so I've chosen not to spend money to partake of playing addictive games that could or could not help me. 

It's pretty much what floats your boat in my perspective with Herbalife. It has a Kosher certification tag on it, and it's not offending some big synagogues so at least it has some recognition. Of course, they hate bacon on a side note, which you wouldn't be too thrilled about!

From a quantitative side of research ( the actual numbers and results), the research is still yet to be determined and has to converge with some bridge. Like, we know now that no matter how much the tobacco industry funds pro-tobacco research, they can't deny that inhaling carbon monoxide for long exposure like chain smokers do contribute to lung disease! It even has a surgeon general warning on it and for some political reason, the country can't let go of taxing it so stupidly!

From a qualitative side ( observing people), I have read accounts that people taking Herbalife for 20+ years have been "happy" off of it and even 70 year old women are actively enjoying sports from having taken it. I don't know about you, but I want to do that too when I'm a grumpy old man in 40 years.

Basically, you informed the consumer what's on there. People are giving mixed thoughts about it. It's the glass is either half-full or half-empty. You don't want to for your own convincing reasons, and I respect that.

I choose to take it because I've seen 8% body fat loss, 5 pounds of muscle increase, and my metabolism has went from a 50 year old to a 19 year old in three weeks time! I didn't lose weight, I gained a pound of muscle.

The products work for me, and I agree it's not for everybody. I don't just take Herbalife by the way. I also work out and try to eat right, which is the key. Herbalife contains some good stuff, despite the ingredients you mentioned. You have to exercise man and eat right to lose weight and get the ripped abs that I so want! 80% nutrition and 20% exercise. 100% mindset, that's what it takes to be a healthy and energetic person that we all so want to be. 

Finding Some Form of Balance

I don't want really want to brag and put it down on writing with something that could be special. The experience I have been going through lately has been very enriching and euphoric. I feel a better state of calmness and balance and am grateful for God to have allowed me to have taken part of that fate.

I'm starting to smile personally at some of the incidents that I involved myself with now. Out of choosing to be nice, I'm not going to make fun of people behind their backs at this moment. Essentially, I was spilling truths quite a bit in the form of offensive jokes in the beginning to rub off my anger because it was hard to control.

Since I'm smiling about those things that happened for me now, I don't really need to be mad now. I can just go up and be upbeat with the people I formerly antagonized. I can just take it slow and be accepting with how they have trouble coming to terms with something not that serious I did to them and just not really bring it up anymore.

Making Positivity Count

Situations can feel dire at times and especially for a guy like me, I actually come across as being really smart-looking and friendly. It's like if I was to ever express my frustration with some style and class, it would put a common person on the defensive with me.

Being peculiar is funny and letting a situation get so out-of-hand where the person just ended up breaking contact with you is also not that bad. Sure, I'm not weaker person and some can't handle being bothered, but it's just the mood they want to be in I guess.

I'm just going off something with generalizing one incident and trying to make that relate to everything. I don't want to be too specific because I made a promise to not really touch on those details out of my attempt to be a gentleman on a 24-7 basis.

Being Made Alive And Well

It's pretty crazy how just trying to learn the meaning of two Bible verses while googling for it led me to have a better reverence for the Lord. I guess that can seriously be food for the soul, especially with some verses that I continuously neglected to read because I just saw the same thing over and over again.

Maybe, the Bible is just like that intentionally because it's like one day, that when you do see something that you don't understand because it's just constantly something you are reading that you will go find the answer and that when you do, it's voila! It's more like French for "I got it!"

The Bible even though it feels dry and boring sometimes and empty and like nothing is coming out of it from just being human, it's really deep in its meaning and takes some humility to accept that God's nature really can win tormented souls, which can find rest in this desolate and conflicting world.

Also, I just love having this quick search engine that is connected to the Internet. It's providing me resources for finding information just so quick. I think because of the Internet being like the 8th Wonder of the World or something, people can allow themselves to live in a better place. The Internet isn't God or anything, but really more like a non-human servant which can powerfully assist with achieving reachable dreams. To sum it up in my opinion, the Internet is a searchable database of information, a source of personal entertainment, or for buying and selling things!

Tying Experience With People and Bible

My tumultuous relationships with people are petty and nothing really that significant. I guess I had a problem with wanting to resolve the problem peacefully, but the others who I ended up going up to just had a hard time with me trying to talk to them about it! It would end up with them getting a neurotic panic attack and then they would just go off with trying to bat me away.

Because of this, I wasn't really understanding what was going on, but what mattered to them is that I was just bothering them no matter how much I conveyed my nice agenda with them. Basically, I'm just getting that they haven't made the effort to personally resolve it, can't let go of what I did to bother them, and just don't want to be reminded about it because they have other things they want to worry about. Like I said, they are just neurotic people. I triggered one of their bad qualities from texting them while I was incredibly ticked off about something not so important.

It's funny and all. It's also not a bad thing to leave them alone and let them try to move on from it without any involvement. I guess now that I'm more informed from my own dating experiences and research, I should be successfully evading something like that with other important relationships. Resolving the conflict is something I could be a lot more creative about and have a lot of fun with, but only if they want to put me on the spot.

Leviticus 14:24- 25

It's been a long time since revisiting the Bible and I'm finding out how hard it really is to continue writing about it. Hats off to the believers who do dedicate themselves to willingly study the Scriptures and apply a closer walk with the Lord. I guess I personally like listening to the Word and reading up on some devotions, but attempting to do this just out of the blue is a lot more hindering than I thought.

So in verse 24, the priest takes a lamb for the trespass offering and a log of oil (less than half a pint) and then a wave offering was done. I read up one interpretation which states that they were pretty much offerings presented as though it were for the Lord, but then later became the sole possession of the priests.

Basically, doing some Google searches and trying to read up on some of these crazy passages that I don't understand really helped clear a little bit of confusion for me. Verse 25 states that the priest ends up killing the lamb of the trespass offering, takes some of the blood, puts it all on the right side the person's ear, thumb, and big toe who is to be cleansed.

Wow, I have been totally ignoring what this meaning is about putting the blood on ear, thumb, and toe. I've been reading up on how it symbolizes that God's words are heard, the hand symbolizes action, and the foot is the pilgrimage of life. The blood symbolizes life and death. This is crazy in that the right side is just another way for saying that it's the better and good side in the Bible, rather than being evil.

Putting it all together, this ceremonial practice just means that the ears, hand, and foot represent the whole body and it is about having a full dedication to the Lord's ways. In a way, it feels like re-committing to the Lord again and I guess if the heart was really for it after admitting one's sins, the Lord was just more than happy to forgive the sinner. The Lord doesn't really keep count, just like how Jesus told Peter to forgive someone seven times seventy, which is a figure-of-speech for infinity!

Personal Goals

I have yet to accomplish everything I have listed on my phone in a day. I really would like to knock those tasks off my list and see how good I feel about accomplishing everything I have set for just personal reasons.

I guess my main goal is as always being a millionaire with a six pack with a strong relationship for the Lord and a beautiful and fulfilling Christian wife. Once I have that agenda, then man, I'm on fire!

Oh yeah, I need to try that growing taller stretches too and see if it will make me bigger. I'm starting to see that it's not really making a difference to whether I'm taller or not because I'm starting to develop this inner confidence from just being me. Like I don't have a mental ruler in my head that looks like at short I am constantly whenever I am by myself. 

Occasionally, I still feel that sorrow of someone being taller than me. For another, it could be from being a bald man and wanting his hair back again. Something about our appearances that we want to change to improve. Like my mom says, it's all genetics and can't be helped. Thanks Mom!

If I have short kids who hate being small, then I'm going to help them do those growing taller exercises and put them on a nice diet of drinking milk! Hopefully, no kid of mine is lactose-intolerant. For a backup plan, I'm going to develop their self-confidence of who they are and train them how to be nice and sociable people others wouldn't mind being around. 

I guess it solves a lot of issues because it's mainly all in the attitude and I feel very self-confident. I think it's helping me a lot to have an outgoing friend or two who does not mind texting me back everyday. It's really building my patience and grit of letting go of personal worries with being rejected by others. As long as I don't message someone, when I'm feeling really mad and negative about the situation, I'm actually good. 

Getting Back Into It

This post is more about the stuff that I need to lay off of instead of going back into. I should lay off a little more on playing video games and start thinking about how I will be a Christian woman's best friend because the woman I'm referring to will be someday my wife!

Now that's an original idea, wouldn't you say? In the space of nothingness, that's what I see but what I don't see is how everybody else is going to react. Is this still playing with fire? No, it isn't. It's because it can be controlled, as long as you are at peace while writing.

One of the biggest elements I have learned about writing is that it's important to not let a super crazy and negative drive take control of how you want to view things. I'm glad I picked up on that personal lesson just in time!

Knowing What Immature From Mature Is

I'm just showing off with this post. I'm an adult now and I can discern what's politically appropriate, just like anybody else can. It feels good in general, well, not really. It's all just a natural part of being just well - it's just like being an "I am" therefore I think-type of deal.

I really don't know where I'm going with this post. I thought I try out something random, but I'm trying to push a different direction because I feel obligated to catch up with my posts. I'm on a good start because last month I completed 31 posts, which averages out to just 1 post everyday on this blog. Yeah, now that's really something isn't it? Okay, it's not really spectacular or anything, but at least it makes me feel good right? Okay, I'm like half-asleep while I'm writing this so I can't even move my imaginary muscles of my head to make myself think that I'm laughing. Pretty weird isn't it?

Becoming Consistent

Let's see, I'm going to try something.

Watching games on TV, it was so-so. Watching anime for a little bit, it was great, but what about using that time for something better? Okay check.

Reading up on near death experiences and other crazy, mystical stuff that tries to use science. Awesome! It made me tired and I had to sleep and then I finished reading up on it.

I'm still a young pup and reading can bring me up to speed! The Lord is number one in my life so He's the only one I really need to go to for support and I can just get used to that, while using my daily walk as a platform for obeying His commands and to gain better understanding of His ways in them and to carry them out.

Fixing Concentration

I think the best way to work on my concentration when I just want to be not at my best game and distracted with other stuff, is to just read more. I think reading is the best way to cure my disease for not being able to concentrate for long periods of time.

Also for secondary purposes, I think it's good to work out as well too and try out healthy projects just to keep yourself busy. I guess keeping the self busy and trying to go out of your own to meet more people can be fun. Getting rid of social anxiety is important too, so it can all add up in the end.

Meh

I feel like meh when it comes to trying to guess a woman's age now.

I don't feel like asking because she might get offended. A girl says don't ask what a girl's age is. I don't do it twice.

With some girls who are my friends, I ask them away and they don't care. It's like the ones you are dating, you can't really ask what their age is! Oh man, what a double standard. Some girls I have hung out with asked me what my age is. I asked what hers was and she said, "No, don't ask a girl!"

Meh, sometimes the same girl can look young and other times her face looks like it's been aging quite a bit. It seems like a girl who says she's around her twenties are attractive looking and seem to look around my age, but when I look at a lady who is like around my age, man I see a huge difference in age wrinkles and everything.

It's now just meh when it comes to dating women based on their age. If she reveals her age for me, then great, but if I fall hopelessly in love with her and find out she's like 65 with a body of a gorgeous 30 year old, what can I really do?

Probably the Reason for Being Treated Okay

When I see people, I see faces and not my own face. I have my own perfect vision so far to work with and my eyes are like wide-awake and feel innocent about stuff and just this pleasant feeling inside of me just wants to rise out of me!

It's like, I get this feeling of hey, I'm actually doing this every once in awhile! I can't like constantly have a mirror in front of me and see myself. I just have this personal conscience; it's actually something I've come to accept. I'm not really feeling so hampered anymore and neither am I feeling really self-limited.

Concentration At Work

What is killing me a little is that my mind doesn't want to be focused at work, so I have to force myself to let out the stupid things that constantly want to keep me occupied. There are a lot of good stuff that I treasure and will linger in my head as well, but I need to learn to push it aside so that I can perform at my maximum potential and be a great asset to a company that I feel blessed to be a part of.

I feel like a kid, so it's a bummer! I wish I studied my hardest all throughout high school and got into a great school and just naturally developed a great sense of concentration that goes beyond the amount of two, average people put together!

Well, it's too late and I can't look back and build a time machine to make some angry people think differently about me. I'm not going to back it up with any more details, but I can say that I finally moved on from it and wish them the best without any animosity or ill-will.

An Area of Regret

I made a promise to God that I want to go back on now. The saying goes from the Bible, it is to be careful about what you solemnly swear to the Lord. One guy in the Old Testament ended up burning his beautiful daughter to the stake because he made a promise to God that he would sacrifice the first thing he saw for the Lord. Maybe his dog should have ran past his daughter, but that's a really sad story.

I made this promise and now I feel like regretting it! My promise is to make a million dollars and get a six-pack and then visit a church that feels antsy about me being there. I'm just going to tell them what I'm doing and just walk out.

Yeah, I have been struggling with this inferiority complex of feeling short at the height of being only 5' 3" but yet everybody doesn't seem to really mind my short height. I don't seem to get discriminated because of my height, and I have even offended people from the stuff I wrote to them unwittingly and scared some too!

Basically, I can't go back on this promise I made to God because it's like hard wired in me to become a successful millionaire and get a six-pack. I have a decent job and plenty of time to practice my skills for becoming a financially independent and wealthy person.

Better Time Management

The area of time management is something I have slightly struggled with. I have been working out and losing like 8% body fat in the last twenty days which isn't that bad. I am just filled with a lot of energy as well right now.

The few areas I would like to fix are pretty much just eliminating the small amount of time I spend watching T.V. which is mainly for the reruns of all the major sports that are played. I guess I can stop munching on beef jerky now while just sitting there and looking at games especially when I can just check up the scores of who won and lost. It's pretty much a done deal already for me, so I don't really know why I still want to be entertained from watching games where I know the outcome sometimes.

My Ego

I have a really big, goody two-shoe ego with myself. I look down on others who argue with me and can bother them to the point that they don't want to talk about something with me. I have realized that I don't really need to associate with those negative and anger-provoking people.

I'm starting to become so much smoother in communicating and it's just going with the flow these days with being like a nice force of nature. I say a lot of things sometimes really vague that need to be clarified. Some of the things I say can literally tick people off. It's really best for me to not to talk about those situations anymore because I realize that I am the stronger person and can live like that while letting them go.

Becoming Better At Texting

I have had some rough beginnings in socializing with people through text messaging. Sometimes, individuals just have a hard time not letting themselves get worked up and just like to go crazy with their beliefs and try to act like a force of nature. In other words, they just get super mad and not admit to it. I have like the ultimate defense now in that I can say they have an inferiority complex out of my height and just keep talking about that as my focal point. It's a pretty hard defense to do because it seems like I am ridiculing myself, so it requires a lot of sense of humor, confidence, and humility to pull off a justification like that on anybody who is just flaring.

Another thing to do could be just letting time pass on by and then talking to them about it again. If they are still worked up over it, you can just make fun of them about not letting go of the past. Basically, the best course of attack is just being a nice person and communicating about how you don't care what they did and wanting to still be friends with them. This is like throwing a curve ball because you can say stuff about how crazy they are, and they won't be able to do anything back at you, and they will be left speechless. Also, they are not going to want to do anything with you because they would be afraid of hurting you, so it all works out for the better balance in nature! 

Okay, so I have gained a good load of experience and I have this high level of comfort with communicating properly now and approaching my ways of texting sentences by not going too far these days. In a way, I've been learning more proper etiquette from dealing with sensitive people and having put with stupid things that they were about doing. I was oblivious but now I'm ready to be like a tour de force.

Setting Goals for Hard Things Might Be Worth It

I have these crazy goals of mine that never get tiring to achieve. My main desires are basically what I have saying all the time and will continue repeating, becoming a millionaire with a six-pack and having a close Biblical fellowship with God while married to a beautiful and fulfilling Christian wife!

I guess it's not hard for everybody to want that. It's just that how strong is the desire and confidence of the people to obtain those things. It seems like a lot of people would rather benefit off of me being their friend more than them going through the pains of life to obtain what they want.

It's hard and I understand that, so it sort of makes me laugh these days when I'm feeling really stable in my life when others are having a hard time and expressing it in some way with me. I mean it's not hard for me to try to be a friend to them and help them out in the best way possible. I guess that's why it's really important for me to always be a stable person and not act out in my anger and aggression which will always be tempting for me because I could screw somebody up badly from his or her own perspective.

Back To My Roots

I'm once again reminded of not playing poker for money because you have to sit there, and it does give me the feeling of things being tedious. I prefer the currency and stock trading environment because I can just sleep while letting it make money for me and then I can go off and try other activities that I think would be fun or interesting to try.

Right now, I'm looking to be a profitable currency trader on my own without really anybody helping me out. I just have my own way of wanting to do things. If I can make that happen, then I want to expand the knowledge upon about learning to deal with stocks as well. This is going to be a longer journey than I thought for my dream to achieving my status of becoming a financially-independent millionaire.

Sour Trading Month

I guess I started out strong and then I blew my profit by trading so much over-zealously without even monitoring those trades. Instead of watching the market for what happened, I just let it ride and forgot about it completely and then the profit went back into the negatives! Fortunately, I'm just dealing with a demo account.

I've decided to trade aggressively with just nine pairs now instead of original twenty-four pairs I was looking at. It seems to make more sense because I would be working with the most common ones and reading up on the economies of countries that I'm actually most interested in getting updated about so I can make some sensible investments. It's back to square one for me again.

Simple Stuff

I'm actually trying to get stronger so I have really got myself into rock climbing. Once I did it a few times, it just became so much stuff that I just want to keep on doing it. I guess my personal life is getting more interesting because I'm doing stuff to just keep myself busy, instead of compromising with things that I don't really have much of a heart for anymore.

I do really need to work on a design document though for a project that I have in mind of doing with some friends. I'm going after creating a pretty funny app that others can enjoy! It's just really all about having fun and learning something cool off of it while working with a team. The idea just sounds really cool that I'm glad other guys in interested with helping out in it.

This Message Worked For Me

Using all the principles I learned, I wrote this pretty engaging letter in a short amount of time. I have heard the same arguments and pretty much was able to counter right back at them. I am not getting any problem from this crazy girl ever again in the future. I just filled it in on Facebook, so just copying and pasting it. This is my message:

"Sometimes people like to stay mad, but it's wrong to be that way. Living in the present means letting go of grudges and inviting others to just be friends. I invite you to be my friend because it's one of my best qualities that you have been dealing with all this time. I don't care how crazy you think you are. Sometimes, it's just instinctual for others to know their limits with pushing the envelope. It can be a good thing because it can cause a positive change for people, whether big or small.

You appear to be struggling with trust issues and an inferiority complex. I'm shorter than you.

A shorter person wrote something that has no actual meaning and you responded by blocking me. That's the present and you are the one living in the past because you still seek to do those things from the past which is blocking me. It's funny and I don't care that you aren't thinking straight.

I'm about moving on and being your friend because it's fun to chase after those types like you who are stuck in the past. I am a positive person. I don't care personally what you did. I have a great personality in that area, and it's my side that outshines yours.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, especially if they say it's positive and mine is to the max! Facebook is about personal empowerment and not shutting down others in your life no matter how annoying they are to you.

They are or were your acquaintances in your past life, so it shouldn't even matter with feeling inferior to them and showing that by being so negative.

I don't care that I have a better quality in being persistent and being moderate with the times and adjusting from the past. I just don't care what you did or what you supported. Who really cares except for you the most?

Some people like to be in the flesh by making complaints about other people directly at them or behind their back and then block them on Facebook. It isn't a good thing to be that way to anyone period. If it's too overwhelming, then maybe it's a good road to seek after a professional counselor who can help you find total empowerment with your life and coping with your frustration and unwillingness to allow changes that would restore relationships with others who hurt or annoyed you and influence them to be positive individuals.

Especially when it's just Facebook and not some guy who drug dealed and killed your sister or pulled a gun and robbed your favorite store, you are practically showing an inferiority complex by expressing frustration and annoyance and wanting to push it aside. In other words, stability is something that is treasured by people in general because it gives them happiness that can last through the hard times. Stability isn't expressing words of frustration and making fun of others and then blocking them on Facebook!"

Weird Promise

I was kicked out of a church, which believes in Jesus. Okay, I invite the laughing out loud (LOL) part with everybody reading this. They believe in Jesus supposedly and I do, too. I made a weird promise with them.

I know what the situation was, but I'm not going over it. The promise I made with them is that I'm going to show up with an attempt of trying to visit them when I make a million dollars and have a six pack. I am working hard for those goals right now, and it's something that I truly desire for myself. I guess it could be a fun way of sticking it to them, but because the church is so old and run-down, when I do have those things in like another 50 years or so, the church might not be even around in existence. Maybe, Jesus will come back by then. Who knows?

Conclusions

This is amazing because while I was dreaming, I was really conscious about trying to solve something people-related. I now can relate with how the Bible advises me to go about it. The Bible says to do something like reveal their personal problems with me and try to help with patching things up.

Out of love, we aren't supposed to care about the petty things people have done to us. We are supposed to be above it. This is a characteristic that we should strive to have. For myself, it just seems to come more naturally than others. It's hard for people sometimes to carry a thick skin and on occasions, people can show an inferiority complex from not being able to handle themselves properly. They can start shouting or express fear.

Overall, I never did anything wrong. I was just trying to live out the good things the Bible teaches with trying to relate to others. God always came first so maybe it's my calling to patch up my rough spots with people just from having unique, personal experiences from it. I really need to advise though that if they can't really let it go and show it with a simple task of adding someone as a Facebook friend because they are overwhelmed by trust issues or frustrations, then they should go see a professionally trained counselor to talk it over with their emotional issues and develop better coping strategies. Facebook has personal empowerment meaning you can control what goes on it. It's your page, express yourself however you want. I don't really care what people want to put on there, so I am not really going to over react. Even if I feel it, I am strongly aware of it and make an effort to not let it get to me. This is one of my best qualities and some people just don't have it at all and so, I have been trying to deal with those types.

Putting Things Behind Me

I think it's really all about placing God first in my life and trying to minimize distractions and being willful about taking the right path. There's really nothing wrong about living up to your full potential and to get there, it's still going to take quite a bit of work.

I used to have something of the nature of not being able to study because I was so caught up on wanting to have fun. I guess playing video games would after awhile get boring or just too hard to sit through and try to figure out. It was basically an addiction that I had, and it followed me all the way even past my college years. Just recently, I'm able to not have my mind constantly on it.

Nowadays, I'm reading! Reading used to be something I hated doing. It's a necessity. If you can't do it, then how can you review the Bible on your own time with no one there to read it to you? It's so much more economical to scrutinize through text instead of listening to someone repeat themselves over again. In a way, it becomes a personal advantage to be able to read other people's works. You just might take something from it that others would normally leave out and not concern themselves so much over. Take for instance, an exciting comic book. I still remember Robin getting killed by the Joker and another where someone used a vulgar word before blowing up an alien! Yeah, books with illustrations are so cool and never get old even with adult-themed anime and comic books!

Stuff I Missed

This is just a personal post where I will talk about the stuff I missed. I think my last couple posts were actually pretty funny or cool or whatever that actually some people come on to visit this site. I'm becoming a lot more comfortable with my own shell, and it just keeps on getting better.

The mindset is so important, and I really have to test this idea that I really put all in my heart and soul into loving God then I will learn some things through the ups and downs of life. I expect to be hit very hard, and it did happen in a way. I get bothered massively by people when they go through some type of conflict with me. It's probably my worst and everything else is like something happens and I get the normal scared, sad, or happy reaction and then it fizzles away. What if I became stranded on a deserted island with nobody to talk to? As long as I had my game boy and it never ran out of battery. No, I'm just kidding. Putting very little serious thought into it, I wouldn't care as long as I had shelter, food and water, stuff to keep me occupied, a Bible so I should carry around a pocket Bible while traveling to places, and maybe some tools so I could try reaching out to civilization or build a raft boat. If I could just make myself comfortable in that deserted island then what's there to not do?

Okay, so I rambled about something dealing with not talking to people. I'm trying to get a beautiful Christian wife now who will stay with me and give me constantly what I want hahaha, so I need to talk to people at least. These are activities of  my list that I have neglected so far:

1. Reorganize
2. Car wash
3. Growth stretches
4. Climbing gym
5. Programming
6. Bowling
7. Golf
8. Cooking
9. Avoid surfing web

These are the things I have done:

1. Bible (Amen!) hahaha
2. Schedule meetups with people
3. Drink diet shake
4. Work out
5. Trade
6. Hair care
7. Avoid playing Magic and Poker at personal time

It doesn't seem so bad. I'm prioritizing in a way with the ones that I deem more important. I am going to see how it's like to do every activity on my list even if it wears me out and I end up hating myself. 

Staying Updated With Goals

I guess it's about not being stumped by others and socializing with some bad people who lost it with me. I might as well just get random without shouting and let my mind run off because that's just how I get things done sometimes. I get this thrill off of trying to stay positive with them and patching up the rough spots the relationship got into.

As a result for future relationships, I'm made into a stronger and more keen person with handling myself around others. I'm also really numb about socializing with people, even though I'm open to it. I think that's why I don't really connect with the majority of people. A few friends willing to go all the way with me or being there for somebody is good enough!

I will accept what fate has in store for me and continue to trust in the Lord's way by trying to engage in studying the Scriptures accurately. Even though it's difficult and more challenging than I could have ever imagined, the thing that keeps me going is that digging deep into the Word of God is very rewarding and in a way prophetic, because the Lord's promises and blessings become revealed in that fashion.

Retiring From Poker

It looks like my days of trying to make a living with playing online poker has come to a close. I ended up working my way to the $50 balance that I needed for withdrawing all of it. One of the main reasons for stopping is because it is time-consuming and too unpredictable for me. I guess I'll keep around the skills I've obtained from playing the game and then use it every once in awhile playing recreationally.

 I only played poker with actual money for like ten years on and off, so I did have a decent run with it. Winning felt great in the beginning, but then after it just started wearing out. Losing really sucks, but at least now, I can be understanding about those circumstances. It used to take me a long time to recover from it while I was feeling frustrated or mulling negatively about it.

In a way, it's a form of entertainment among other friends and with the stakes not being so high. I'm sure there are some people out there who don't even wager a penny because they don't want to perceive themselves as gambling.

Developing Confidence Under Conflict With People

This one is something that has been a big load to deal with for me. It's like that few people I had a fine relationship with go into fight mode with me because they develop an inferiority complex issue. The first thing to accept is that those people have an inferiority complex! Next thing to do is to just not care whatever they do and let them know that. Just laugh away with the text messages you send them and tell them to have a nice life after telling them to not try make an assassination plot against you.

They will be like "What?" and "why do you keep talking about this?" It's just to throw them off, while having fun. Act this way with mainly guys and don't talk like that with girls. The girls are like a totally different planet you are on and the approach is entirely different.

For the girls, especially if you are a male, you have to treat them with the best manners you can give them. Using your common sense here, don't call her names that you think she's worthy of hearing. Don't justify what you did as wrong or show any hint of it. Be like, there's absolutely nothing wrong that happened unless you cheated on her then you are screwed! Besides doing something crazy like being a thief or killing her friend from dealing drugs, nothing so serious and she literally has an inferiority complex with you, just be like there's nothing wrong with yourself.

To show that there is nothing wrong with you with the girl, you have to lead her while talking to her using values. It's sort of like ethics, but the purpose is just to lead her in the right direction. You can state something like sometimes people go through struggles in life. To be a winner out of the struggle, it's an awesome thing to talk it through with the person you hate right now! Sometimes when a girl does something based on wanting to not talk about it, it sometimes becomes interesting for everyone to find out and by talking about it, she can hide all the bad stuff about herself that she knows and bring out all the good in herself and make the world a better place!

This is just from experience of how to deal with people who have an inferiority complex. I know they have it because I'm a man with a height of only 5' 3". I don't really think so much about how short I am now and keep forgetting to exercise in trying to make myself grow taller.

Meeting Girls Strategy

This is a fun post that I'm going to be really honest about for the single guys who are willing to go out of their way to meet someone special. Also, the guy will have probably exhausted all his limited choices like I did in the past. I was attracted to this girl, but then I figured she wasn't going to be the right person for me anyway. I also had these weird feelings that swing back and forth from being attracted and then not really with a female friend of mine. I guess she's just a friend, but I don't think any guy should pursue a relationship with her for personal reasons that I won't tell. I wouldn't want her to find out from reading about herself!

The thing I'm doing is really simple. The first step is to sign up for an account at meetup.com. Put a 50-mile radius from your ZIP code and then start browsing through meetups that would interest you. Of course, if they have a Magic: the Gathering event with just one half-decent looking girl stating she's going, I'm not even going to care and schedule to go check it out with another buddy of mine!

Other than that, it's great to have a flexible mind with a plethora of interests! I really hate Disneyland so I stay away from it, even though I know a lot of pretty girls who could be by my type and me theirs would go there. Go for an event where you would be comfortable with the activity and start searching for good-looking women who state they are going. Just judge it based on the photo alone. If they are wearing sun glasses, forget about it and don't even count it. If the event costs some money, then forget about it unless it's like grabbing food, bowling, going to the movies, etc. Also at huge events like at a convention, don't expect to talk to the girl you have your eyes set on because she probably won't even show and you will notice so much stuff going on that she won't even be interesting anymore.

At the beginning, sign up for some meet-ups that require approvals from a moderator. Just put in something decent and let go of any inferiority complexes. Don't waste time looking at the profiles of pretty girls who joined and will likely never join an event. I just don't budge to sign up for those groups that need approvals now, unless there are some exceptions like the event host is a pretty girl! Also, don't show your group meet-ups for others to see and change that option. I joined like a 100 groups and don't want people feeling weird about my curiosity. It's true though that other members will be able to see the groups that you are a part of with them. It feels actually nice to be able to feel connected like that.

So basically, I just start numbering the pretty girls who state they will be showing up. A lot of times, I'm like generalizing with the words "Old" or "she's taken" based on the physical information I see. I was attracted to some photos and then when I saw her in person, she seemed a little old as well. It happens, but it made me interested in showing up to the meetings. Some interesting activities include sports, socializing with games, dining out, and joining groups that you can easily relate too. Most of the time, there will be fewer girls going than guys with really cool events, but sometimes, when I notice more pretty girls than guys with events like dancing fitness pro events or museum hopping, I really want to consider going or at least I try to go to those heavy intense work-out sessions so I can just hang out with the girls. Lastly, I do care about my health and enjoy looking at artwork on occasion so it's part of my interest and that's the main thing before searching for pretty girls to hang out with.

Follow Up to Last Post

I just had a little fun there, but yeah I came to know Christ at a young age. I had an inferiority complex back then, well, I just felt tormented because I felt a great need to be a really high moral person. When people say because I'm a Christian, why am I being a hypocrite, that really gets to me. Now I perceive it as them making a threat with me because if I am deserving of something bad, why are they revealing that to me anyway? It's because I'm not going to have that bad thing happen to me no matter how much they say it to me! It all comes down to the rudimentary assumption that they have an inferiority complex because they can't keep a sure-steady, social stature from being totally agitated.

The only reason why I gave my life to Christ at a campsite was because I felt so touched as a kid (for reals!) that Jesus could wipe away my silly mistakes (sins, but this is how my teacher explained it). I felt like a wreck because I got smacked around by my mommy for messing up some math problems. She would discipline me and smack my hand with a wooden stick for messing up and the number of mistakes I made. It hurt, but then again, my mom isn't that good at math as I thought she was.

I practiced on some math problems and got good at it later on. I excelled at it because I had a bigger love then hate relationship with it. I loved beating to the punch all my classmates with solving simple math problems in third grade. I was afraid deep down inside that I would never be perfect enough. The message for me was that if I put my trust in Christ, he would make me a completely new person. It was just like how it felt for me after messing up a math problem. I would get better and start whizzing through it flawlessly. I had this image and it was so attractive to me that I was hooked and so I said my prayer to accept Christ with another kid who I never saw after some ages passed by because of my inferiority complex. It heightened because another kid I grew up with and knowing as my best friend gave a fit about something because he had an inferiority complex too. So two guys going at it, one more aggressive than the other, guess who got out of it sooner? He did because I stayed quiet and held it all in. I never recovered from it, but since I realize that the conflict I have been part of are people with an inferiority complex, I feel so much better!

My Faith in Jesus

A few individuals have used the argument that I'm not moral enough because I'm a Christian. I now get it supposedly. These people were like making threats with me in that they were saying things that never were going to happen anyway, but just telling me them because they were trying to make me feel bad.

I get that some people don't really have a thick skin, so here's the best argument in the whole world. I'm only 5' 3". The people I have been dealing with for the most part are taller than me. What they are bothered by is a 5'3" Asian guy who sent them some texts that they can't really decipher too well. They can't trust me for telling them anything because they are so bothered by it. Well, it's because they have an inferiority complex- just look at my height. My words must matter to them even though they don't understand it because they let it get to them. It's really silly. Because my words are more important than what they are feeling, I deny everything bad that they think and confirm everything good that they think, as long as it doesn't have a negative attribute about me!

Basically, I just say something like that and if they want to push something even further, I get up and leave. They can save the embarrassment for now and know that they let themselves get carried away. Everyone who followed through with them did the same, but it doesn't matter totally because I have a great personality with making a strong effort to let go of any resentment with them over the past. This is why I am meant to have really close friends and still do to this day.

I don't care about the restraining orders and how a little out-of-it girl thought I was a psycho! I am also recovering from bi-polar which I don't even believe myself at times. I was just depressed because I heard voices in my head that I couldn't get rid of. After they went away, I was a little bit over-happy all the time and I think I make myself super happy still and go overboard with that happiness all by myself because Jesus rocks! I believe God led me to the right person at the right time to be healed of my mental sickness at the time. It didn't cure my penchant for making other people with inferiority complexes mad though. Now, it all makes sense that other people feeling for these taller people and asking me to stop is because they themselves have an inferiority complex too and can't sort it out too well in a holistic or logical fashion.

There are some really cool and chill people who enjoy laughing and having a good time. I'm suddenly just flared up to socialize with people who had their fair share of struggles with me. I can deal with all types, even the angry and anti-social ones while they annoy me now. I don't need to join in with their inferiority complex in thinking that they are less of a person because they need to resort to those types of action to get what they want.

Approaching Things Without Yelling

I think the only time I will be yelling is if I end up in a physical fight with someone who lands a punch on me. I will go down screaming in agony! Actually, I imagine myself getting on top of the person and yelling, "Why did you do that?" I might choke him a little just to scare him and then let off and go from nice to screaming in my tone of voice, until he gives me an answer or I get tired of holding him down. I will then help him back up reluctantly and apologize while playing like I'm a fool for doing it.

I have the best argument in the world for all conflicts that I never ended up using. I was too befuddled trying to figure out the other person's side. I don't think all of that matters now, and it starts with the person in your head, which is you!

In all confrontations or whatever mess I get myself into, I don't plan on raising my voice anymore. I don't care how mad I get, I'm going to let all of that out inside my heart and soul. I'm going to just keep on talking and let myself get bored. With the girls, I have try to talk consistently really nice even if they know I'm faking it! The only time I'm shouting is if I end up pinning a guy on the floor who wants to hurt me, while asking him why he's doing that. I don't even care if I know the reason with that guy trying to hurt me. I'll do the same thing. That's the only time I will be yelling during conflict, on top of yelling if I'm talking in a really loud environment.

Running Through Schedule

I now have a running list to remind myself of what I am doing. Currently, I'm trying to take my money out of online poker. They require that I have a minimum of $50. I didn't really put too much into it because I considered myself a low-ball and super cheap gambler. I'm only two dollars away now. I basically played a little poker at around $23 and doubled it from some guy who bluffed against me and I just luckily had a strong enough hand to call for all of my money in that hand.

I then tried playing a little bit of slots and that didn't work. I also tripled my money today, but it was only $3 that I put in. I didn't want to risk it all like I did last time. I'm not about to make myself get all cocky now because I know how stupid it is to be that way. I just want to take out my money, so that I can move on to do bigger and better stuff. It's always hard to achieve your goal in poker, so I don't want to live for that thrill ride and would rather go to Six Flags for it instead.

Starting Off Strong With Trades

These last couple days of the month I was down by 110 pips. Now I am up by 450 pips! I basically updated my swing trading strategy and it seems to be working so far. Also, I have been confirming that my trading entries have been a decently strong choice by looking up the news for each pair. I just need to look at the title and a few sentences of the summary on the search engine to get an idea if I'm on par with the experts. So far, all my trades have looked that way so I think I could be on to something in the next couple months. I will see if I can close out with a profitable month and make it repeatable for the next three, before I really start getting serious.

This system of mine is starting to look a little advanced and very comprehensive because I'm trying to combine with fundamental and technical analysis. I wouldn't have received these ideas if it wasn't for my reading up on how to trade successfully. Pretty much, the saying could be true in that you need to read in order to achieve.

Wow, this has been going on for awhile!

When I really have the time, I think of at least five years of blogging on here talking about repetitive things habitually should be good enough for me to try making websites that talk about other stuff. I thought I was going to be talking a lot about Magic: the Gathering because I do know enough about it to even create a book about it, so I'm really thinking if I should just to monetize it. I would have to go back into building decks again after having said that I'm retiring the other day!

It's a pretty crazy hobby of mine, but I will have to see if I'm good enough to get people to check me out. I totally doubt it, even with the hard work I put into it. However, if I put in the hard work for currency trading then yeah, that's seriously living the life! Maybe I could create a website about trading currency and talk about different strategies that I come across. It would be my own mess of complicated stuff that I won't even understand myself and then people just coming on there to read it would be actually healthy for me because I would have some form of practice with communicating effectively!

I like that better because I can visualize myself earning a great amount of money by doing that. On top of that, I guess I can create another website about fitness and proper nutrition. I could be covering delicious and healthy recipes that I've tried myself! I could even endorse products that have worked for me and make a website off of it. Just the traffic that I generate online would be good enough to try to take advantage of for earning lots of money!

Retiring From Magic: the Gathering

I played my heart out with Magic: the Gathering for these past years. It looks like the wearing out portion is starting to take its toll on me. I believe very strongly that I have two of the best decks ever created, and I've been proving that to myself countlessly while trying out different styles and putting those decks to the test. Of course, my best decks lose, but all decks in Magic: the Gathering lose! Losing is a part of the game, and my best friend treats it like an accomplishment whenever he beats me in this game now. He's been at it for only a few months and has progressed pretty well, even though I don't think his decks are really that good. To me, they are just slightly average and part of meta (fancy word for how others like to play). He is trying to put all his heart and soul into it and acting like a little kid when it comes to boasting about how good his deck is! Oh well, it's just whatever.

I've tried all sorts of combinations and all colors. I'm just ready to retire from deck building now and move on with trading currency for earning a fortune. I'm not kidding about my trading, this is how it looks right now. It's boring for the uninterested mind, and that's how it's meant to be for the majority! I will take the opportunity people give me to game this system and earn some cold, hard profits.

Reorganizing

Well, I'm not really ready to get a long-term and cute girlfriend to eventually settle down with. I have my mind set on being successful financially and with a killer body to really worry about a pretty, needy woman's life and love issues. Maybe, someday it will come to me but now, it's not something I want to stress about. Even though I'm getting older, I'm just starting to accept being a single man. Well, a happy thing for me is that my ultimate type of girl happens to like most of my Facebook comments. She's engaged though to a really lucky guy who doesn't know how blessed he is. I'm cool with how our relationship is, and it's nice! Oh yeah, I haven't thought about the whole having children after marriage part, so I'm just not sure about that. Maybe, if only love turned out to be so much fun, then the possibilities would be so awesome!

Honestly, it's easier for me to slip up over the little things because nobody is watching me and I don't really have any accountability with a life partner. Maybe, marriage would help stabilize me more in that area. For the time being, I'm having fun being single and I think I can party even harder than any group of girls can. I'm just saying this because I think guys have an advantage with being single if they are smart and flexible about it.

I ended up reorganizing my table with all these envelopes that I left on there for a few months. In a busy society, it's actually lagging behind pretty greatly. Yet, I managed to complete everything needed in about an hour's worth of time. I guess I don't get that much mail, so there's no worries except that I have to worry about those deadlines or I could shoot down my credit score.

I just need to be a person with better time management and to also have a thick skin with problematic individuals. Even my own best bud can annoy me at times and I have to put up with his immature and arrogant comments. Yeah, I guess it's just whatever after all.

Kicking Off A Brand New Year

Well, it's been a lot of time wasted for me. I could have done a lot more healthier things, besides just stuffing myself and letting myself get heavier. Anyway, this is the text I wrote to this girl who has always been yelling at me in agony, "Why do you call me?" every time I've spoken with her. I've had no response to that of late because it just has left me so stumped. It's like the best option is to give her what she wants, which is to leave her alone.

I haven't been trying to act like a force of nature for the recent past years. As a result, I've had a lot more friendlier acquaintances. Friends do laugh when I talk about my past moments of yelling at people. When I even yelled at some girls because they were ticking me off, they just started laughing and ignoring the stuff I said. Well, this is what I texted her:

"People sometimes need to look beyond their flesh and bone and try to think like God. Your feelings matter but some people were made to be better than you so giving them a chance to help you is a very good thing."

It seems pretty sincere because I'm actually trying to use the best manners I can give her. It's mediocre at best, but I'm really trying to lead her in the proper direction even if it doesn't involve me being a part of her life. It's just natural for people to care about each other and some more than others. Talking it out can be a great way of relieving stressful problems and nice practice for concealing the bad things and bringing out the best in you! Even the least brightest person can sometimes pick up that some situation isn't going so well and so they have to be a bigger person than the situation would normally call them for.

In other words, I'm going off in some realistic and creatively altruistic direction while setting a positive and righteous tone. This is my new way of leading any girl who has a conflict with me. Being delicate in my speech is something I haven't done in the longest time, but I'm going to need it for my other, sensitive half someday.

Finishing Off the Year

Wow, it's that time of the year again for the new year to be arriving! I've learned so much about dealing with angry and messed up individuals. It's funny and I don't really mind all the stuff they put me through all these years. Sometimes, people just have to not take some things so seriously and examine themselves, instead of just being in the flesh!

I have learned from being a guy, how a guy is supposed to resolve conflict with another guy or female! I have had so many instances of being annoyed with unintentional conflict having developed among guys and girls. I can write things that are capable of offending people when I'm feeling very ticked off at them. I am the little Asian guy that writes stuff to offend only people I'm mad at for any reason. I have heard comments from others about them saying that I'm so scary and they need to get away from me- the little Asian guy who is starting to get thin hair on the top a little. I'm the little Asian guy who offended a small church of stupid and unstable believers and so they kicked me out of their church. I stand only 5'3" while weighing in at about 145-175 pounds at different periods. The extra pounds must add on to my fearsome build for people who don't have that much thick skin, I guess.

Okay, all of these crazy stories that make you want to get mad at me for leave me with a solution of how to deal with it. I'm going to be really blunt about how to solve those problems so pay attention to these last paragraphs a little carefully.

Conflict is basically anything that makes you feel bothered. It can be a little annoyance with yourself or some huge deal to you because someone made a threat to end your career, relationships, or life, etc. The main thing is to put on some thick skin and ignore rash comments they make at you. It's to basically not get affected by it and show no emotion to it. If they start yelling and getting in your face or I feel some tension in the air, I want to smack them but I have to wish they lay a physical hand on me first while still playing nice in person, before I righteously get to defend myself by putting them in physical pain so they can't attempt laying a finger on me. There is a different approach for dealing with a man or woman.

For the guys, you mainly need to be straight-forward with him. When I think of one-word to describe resolving this conflict, it's to out-smart him. If you are a guy, you are already on the right track for dealing with any woman who you feel angry, bothered, or upset with. Just from being a guy, it's a big deal with resolving problems to other girls at any time no matter how long it went. The guy gets to be the man of the house someday, if he ever gets there. He's going to be the leader of the household and bring in food for the table! It's important for the man to treat women with the best manners he can give and lead the woman he's in conflict with by mainly describing values to her. Using one word to describe it, it's to be delicate with her.

Priorities

Instead of having fun and doing what I need to do, I guess the little things do matter for me and it would nice to take care of those things that require maintenance, such as keeping my room in orderly fashion. It has a tendency to stay messy, and I'm starting to not like that because I figure that being a grown-up now, I should have a room that looks as such.

I also need to take care of my finances better. I mean I could do a whole lot better. I guess watching anime and playing Magic: the Gathering and messing around with trading currency can be really nerdy and a lot fun, but I really should be focusing on the necessities first. I guess to prepare myself, I really need to focus on the little stuff now and make sure they are in neat and orderly fashion before I go do my thing with the big stuff and other things that interest me.

Next Step

The next step for me is to pretty much write about all the topics that interest me. I think I have hit enough wide topics that might get a few visitors on each of those sites, if I decide to just pack it with useful information and make it easy on the eyes. I could then just make money with advertisements.

I find that I'm drawn to a lot of those Top 20 articles when it comes to just reading about celebrities. It's fun and sometimes entertaining to read about what movies they were in and to not be really attracted to them as I originally thought they were. It's just fun for me to read, so maybe I could do something like that in my own website.

Of course, it's going to take some money, but I think writing about my personal interests at such an eclectic proportion will be beneficial for me because I would be making some sort of contribution for others on the web. Also, it might wear me out to go send out offensive messages to people, even though I know they are filled with bullocks now. It all comes down to understanding the person, which is hard when you are filled with any type of emotion. Basically, you need to think on your feet and have a thick skin about a lot of stuff because most humans in general are basically stupid!

Pretty Simple Goals

I'm going to list some of my personal interests on here just to help myself. I don't really mind people reading about them, so that's why I have this blog in the first place.

• Implementing cool computer technology
• Singing with piano playing
• Trading currency
• Magic: the Gathering
• Bible study
• Dating and staying married to a beautiful Christian woman
• Hanging out with good friends
• Health
• Martial Arts
• Having nice and agreeing fans of my writing and thoughts
• Excelling at sports
• Binge-watching an anime series every once in awhile
• Expert mode survivalist
• Finding out and trying to stick to copying some fun and interesting trends
• Re-visiting tradition as long as it stays fun and in a good mood
• Finding good deals and taking advantage of them
• Acquiring interesting purchases that could improve quality of life
• Maybe, a pet lover
• Reading other people's comments and discussion points
• Personal thoughts
• Career advancement

Approaching Christmas Eve

Well, I just ended up mainly playing Magic: the Gathering the last couple days when I was off work. It looks like I'm not really hurt that bad at all if I end up losing and something I can come to an acceptance with. After all, it's really all about having fun to start with even though some games can become edge-of-your-seat chaotic and competitive. I guess that's what makes me coming back for more, which is just competing against one other and being friendly about it. It is after all, a two player game for the most part. It's like another form of playing chess, but for this one, you are customizing the cards you want to play with and testing it continuously or as long as you feel compelled to while aspiring towards hopeless perfection! No deck will ever be virtually impenetrable. There will always be a way because the higher-ups won't let that occur for so long, in order to make the game fair. It is after all, a lot of fun to exploit those advantages from mistakes the publishers make occasionally and try to make a career out of it. The game has become so popular that there is a cult following for it and also professional players who can do tournaments on the side.

I just can't stand too much poker action anymore. It's filled with variances in the game that will tempt my blood to boil. I don't feel that fullness in playing the game so much anymore, unlike the best players in the world. I thought I was going to go become an online professional player, but my style doesn't seem suited for making money, so I'm going to have to let it go this time around.

I think I'm going to create a separate for-profit website, where I'll just write about MTG, trading currency, anything related to health, and I.T. related topics that interest me. It could be in a way my own research that I'm publishing for free over the web. I'll keep this thing just personal and have fun with my writing.

Taller and Shorter Couples

From doing google searches on short guys, I'm reading some funny reasons about why short guys can be better than taller guys. It's true that a lot of women out there prefer their partner to be taller than they are. It's something of their nature with accepting how things are supposed to be. I'm not a girl so I can't really say much about that, but that's what a woman said as a vivid comment, so I believe her.

This website that I came has posts with the lady of the guy-girl couple usually making some comments and revealing the height difference. It's pretty cool that I got to read it and had fun. For the people who are closest to you especially family, things get really interesting after you are able to raise a few kids successfully. It's like after that, being short or tall doesn't matter while you are married.

They also had photos there and I had a great laugh at some of them, but hey I'm short too so I can relate now and feel good about my body. I'm not really that bad looking after all, and what my mom tells me is that it's not that I'm short that makes the difference, it's really how my build just makes me look incredibly healthy. When I'm able to have a nice and clean shaven face, I look incredibly handsome and so I join in the party of other losers out there who are trying to find a really hot date. I'm an exception where people will change their minds about my height because of everything about me that they can get to know. I cause conflict all the time from having some sort of inferiority complex and lack of sensibility, but that's not becoming the case for me anymore because I literally resolved my first conflict with someone in my life who has anger problems.

This is the website to check out for successful relationships dealing with shorter guys and taller women http://www.oocities.org/tallershorter/couples.htm. The pictures are quite funny and can leave a few men feeling jealous, so don't forget to check that section out.

Complaining Through Prayer

Obviously, it would be great for all of us to always have a thick skin about everything but it's nearly impossible to have that state of stoic mind. I've seen first hand though that using the thick skin does help me to organize my thoughts better and also it doesn't make me feel so bad about expressing my passion with others when we are in a heated moment. From listening to the radio yesterday, it says that everyone doesn't have a right to complain if he or she doesn't pray to God about it. I'm praying to God and telling Him that I don't care about the situations and that I'm going to surprise their flesh and make them feel knocked down.

In a sense, it's just the flesh we are dealing with and the hard work that I'm putting forth is pointing out the stupidity of the person who is having a beef with me. I'm going to pray a lot more while putting on my thinking skills and the thick skin on the fly, which are going to be my main tools for getting people to let go of their flesh. By putting all my undivided attention on the person and hard work with this whole neglecting of personal feelings, I'm going to be like a master at work. It doesn't matter what I put down here and how people prepare for it. I was made for this type of situation and just from praying to God about it, it makes things more legit for me to push it even with escalating force.

I am after all a self-seeking peacemaker when the need calls for it. That's the easy part and cheap thrills, but I don't really care. The only up-side I see to it is that I could have potential to be fair with refereeing both sides that I don't have any conflict of interest with. A third-party with no ties and is equally interested in both people's cases. If I could be that third-party person for a group of two people, while I master my self-seeking peacemaking skills, then it would be awesome!

Trading Update

From looking at my charts, I'm just practically looking for only one setup now. It will occur on the daily and 4 hour charts simultaneously for whichever I come across. It has had pretty decent results, and I've been profiting again. Fortunately, I'm only dealing with a demo account; otherwise, I would have been down another 1025 pips in real life, which wouldn't be so swell at all! Anyhow, I'm in control of my destiny here and it's fitting my style and seems to be working okay for me these days. Also, this is a little out of touch but I believe that when you have a bad day, you need to brush yourself off and then go on the attack again. Eventually, from hard work, I believe that it's going to pay-off and be massively rewarding from something that you like doing. Seriously, having a thick skin can go really a long ways to a successful path in your life. Of course, God is the one who deserves the credit in my opinion. I want to live this life of mine which I struggle with to not be a hypocrite and make it all for God!

Resolving Conflict, It Works!

If your speech or texting is with a nicely skilled degree of good etiquette and nice intention to the person who sees you as a pest, you don't really have anything to lose. They are trying to throw mean punches at you because they want you to fall lower than them. They already know that something's not right with them, and in most cases, this applies for me. I was kicked out of a church for a reason! This is why it's so important to keep a thick skin as your shield on the very high. This one guy who gave me a hard time ended up going on the defensive with me, because I'm just that kind of writer. It's a been there and done that type of deal, so I tried it out and it naturally fit so well. It ended with me giving him high hopes of the best kind of blessing out there. I wasn't worrying about my own personal feelings, which is what bothered and imperfect people are going to try to make you go into. They end up hating your guts for a reason and like to stay there. He ended up giving me a very helpful message in the end, as I told him that I don't care what wrong he did to me. He's so convinced though that I was more wrong than him. It's a pride type of deal that young guys have. I was cool enough to understand it now I guess because of keeping a thick skin, which has blossomed quite so well. I'm becoming a better problem remover with some dummies.

Copy and Paste Issue

It's a little easy to tweak copy and paste text. It only takes a few seconds. Just go to the HTML section and delete the little '' and '&nsbp'. It's interesting because those commands without the quotation marks would actually affect this post all together. It is live code in itself with this post that I am currently making, which is interesting in a way. There's also a live spell-checker in this thing too.

Message for People Who Are Scared of Me

It starts all the way from the beginning. You don't want to repeat what I did wrong that personally deals with you. You just say you don't want to talk about it. That's fine, indeed! Being called a psycho is a name-call and a general fallacy. It's just that you said you are scared and offended. About what? Can you tell me? All the way from the beginning and not what I did recently and up to like five years ago. From like the first message which you started by asking if I was like at your church or something and onward. You probably won't even know what it is. I know a woman who will tell me all the time and repeat what I did wrong, whenever I ask no matter how upset or afraid she is with me. I think you are scared because you don't know what it is and trying to blame me for it. You are just being selfish and out of it! It's because of our different personalities and they clashed. A lot of people are like this and struggle with having always perfect human relationships. Are you perfect in all your past, present, and future relationships including me? I don't have all the messages I kept anymore and I don't want to read most of them out of boredom. But I will take a few and just read them line-by-line and ask what you felt. I don't care how vulgar you want to be, but I will tell you for sure that our viewpoint won't even match up because it's all about paying attention to linguistics and not the mood nor event that made you feel uncomfortable. I was being positive all the way through and I'm good enough to explain how something you see bad means actually okay. This is the solution that I've been waiting for and it's boring and long process, but would resolve your feelings of conflict with me. I will do it while maintaining that hypothesis about you not knowing what it is and feeling scared because of it, which I think is very true. I don't care about my personal feelings here. I'm going to develop thick skin by doing this and communicate better, so there you go!

Gaining People Skills

Today, I learned that dealing with people sometimes I need to have a thick skin and think about what I'm going to say. Personality can sometimes cause people to clash with one another. It happens.

A lot of it that I found important was that sensing the mood and how everything that took place is very important when you are dealing with a person. Also, it would be very useful to communicate for confirming how the other person perceived what you said. In a text message, I would say going line by line somehow and asking what they thought about it and confirming or clarifying it. This is why you really need to have a thick skin in those cases because tempers can start flaring and make it difficult to resolve a conflicting solution. I guess having a mediator is important.

What Happened Today

I woke up and then started playing the piano for about three hours straight while singing songs. I visited back Fur Elise and a little bit of Moonlight Sonata which are both beautiful pieces by Beethoven. Fur Elise has a lighter and more passionate sound than the other, but what I like about it is that for me, it's about going through hardships and finding your way back out of it, only to reap the reward for having done your best!

Moonlight Sonata is an enraging piece to me. It feels like all of that passion is going to burst and just make you go on a tirade. It's tone is also quite dark to me, but at the same time, it's a really moving and beautiful piece. Basically, both of these songs are what I would grade to be at the intermediate level. They are both not absolutely impossible to master. It just takes practice and determination.

Instead of playing Magic: the Gathering today, I binged on playing my piano for my whole morning before going to work. I skipped taking a shower too because I was so focused on playing. I ended up singing Lion King's Can You Feel the Love Tonight and my song that I revised. I ended up playing on my run-down piano and also electronic piano keyboard. It's just in case I play an out-of-tune piano, so that's why I practice on both. This is all just for showing off purposes!

I also made up a version of Mary had a Little Lamb and Jingle Bells where you only need to use three fingers to play. I made them just in case anybody was interested in learning to play a little piano. It would be like I'm giving them a high five and something for them to dwell in, if they ever decide to take lessons somewhere or purchase a piano out of impulsiveness.

This is my song that I created and these are the lyrics. I changed it around just slightly because my friends were complaining about how they couldn't understand what I was singing. It's more natural in communicating for me, I suppose because now I can express it in that manner.

The title of my written song is Jumping Betty (no real significance to the song, but taken from the video game Borderlands 2 ). The girl I was interested in, well sort of, is named Betty, but shh, nothing in the song is there that will give her enough evidence to sue me. Here are the lyrics, each line is where I take a small pause.

Waking up this morning to what's like a summer's day.

I find today to be unique.

Isn't it natural for people to bond with each other? I know apologies are not enough, still trying to make things right. She never let me take the lead. Why won't she let me try for once?

It's like the roses were

Not enough!

Oh well...

I have a secret to let you in on now.

I'm nothing at all. There's nowhere else to fall. Even when I come to her arms, begging on my knees. Does she make me all? She makes me all!

The battle trumpet sounds off. Desperation cries out. Shuffling my feet to places I don't belong. It's been hard to say.

I'm nothing at all. There's nowhere else to fall. Even when I come to her arms ,begging on my knees. Does she make me all. She makes me all...

This is a song about Stacy.

My girl from care group.

I asked her how she was doing. She didn't answer.

So this is my song for her!

She gives me joy so much that I'm speechless and I like it.

Her love for me is irresistible. I can't fight it. I can't fight it, yeah.

She shines so much her light of mercy. I receive it.

I'm bowed and broken. Everything's so new. She's like an inspiration to breathe. I'd like to see her live her life and get through all her days.

She gives me joy so much that I'm speechless and I like it.

Her love for me is irresistible. I can't fight it. I can't fight, yeah.

I'm nothing at all. There's nowhere else to fall. Even when I come to her arms, begging on my knees. Does she make me all? She makes me all!

The battle trumpet sounds off. Desperation cries out. Shuffling my feet to places I don't belong. It's been hard to say.

I'm nothing at all. There's nowhere else to fall. Even when I come to her arms ,begging on my knees. Does she make me all. She makes me all...

If life's like water, I'm dry as a desert.

If life's like Las Vegas, I really lost my shirt.

I'm lost without a clue. I flip a shout-out to the love I thought once know.

I never thought this was possible, but I'd like to say thank you for letting me give you a good time.

She gives me joy so much that I'm speechless and I like it.

Her love for me is irresistible. I can't fight it. I can't fight, yeah.

She shines so much her light of mercy. I receive it.

WHOA!

I don't know where you are.

Wherever you are.

May you go live in peace...

It's All Hidden Smiles

I am smiling underneath while wanting to cry at the same time. This happens when I stand around taller people. I still talk and function normal. It's just that I'm trying to hide the fact that I'm smiling. I'm hurting on the inside a lot, but it doesn't bug so much that I need medication for it.

It's just comedic for me to be a shorty and around taller women or sometimes taller men. I wish I was a 6 footer. I'd be happy with that, but I guess you can't have everything you want in life. Well, from reading up on the movie The Invention of Lying, I found out that Jennifer Garner's character regarded the main character as ugly and unfit to pass on beautiful genes because the nose of his kids would be so ugly. The main character became successful and rich, and from that Jennifer Garner's character felt he would be a great husband and father. Enough said right there, I just need to be those two things and that's all the confidence I will ever need in getting married.

If I get a six-pack and some muscles, then I'm going to have a pretty cute girlfriend for sure along with topping those things too. Well, at least I'll find someone with a better chance and with me wanting a Christian woman. Who knows how blessed God will truly make me out to be?

My List of Priorities

I created a list last night and practically forgot what I put on there, while I was brainstorming. Oh well, I remember some parts to it.

1. Settle down with a physically attractive, Christian woman.

Enough said there, I guess there's plenty of them out there. God provides! I was e-mailed by two, beautiful Christian ladies for going out by tonight. Yeah, that feels good, but I'm still taking my time with responding to those. What goes around, comes around. The same thing happens to me too when I message pretty girls. They take their time in responding back and sometimes never.

2. Read the Bible.

I just finished reading the New Testament and retained like 5% of it and have to go back to re-read it again. I just reached Psalms and that's probably the half way point for the Old Testament.

3. Become a Forex multi-millionaire.

Yeah, that would seriously be the life. Playing golf while making money and literally sleeping on the job.

4. Get muscles and a six-pack. Become an expert rock-climber.

5. Program apps.

6. Constantly learn on my job and also gain promotions when applicable.

7. Do self-maintenance.

8. Try to force myself to grow taller.

9. Get survival skills and be trained in medicine.

10. Socialize


I have about 12 things that I remember, but I guess I condensed it down a little bit.