Bare Minimum To Get Things Done

My daily standards appear to be so high that I have trouble to achieve them everyday. Also, this is what I want to do at a bare minimum and having a little trouble achieving! It's about living the dream and working on yourself to get there. There's nothing wrong with feeling down and out and then going after working on yourself. You know it's also nice to have a girlfriend!

I'm going to list my super high standard and that is different from almost everyone. I'm a rare breed and I believe there a few like me out there anyway so maybe I don't feel that special in the end. It's not a bad thing. An annoying friend believes he is a rare breed and looks at himself like he's the hot sell-out of the century but he's not! I always bring him down with a simple phrase and he never has a comeback statement. He still believes he's the best out there, so it gets pretty irritating!

After much digressing, here's the list: read and study some Bible (automatically lost like 70% interested people), do some Forex trading (the what now?), work out for completing a triathlon ( that's already top 1%),  cook ( probably most ladies will dig this area about me and make some guys jealous of me the short guy),  do some growing taller stretches ( it doesn't exist oh really? ), keep my hair from thinning out, keep on brushing my teeth and washing my face (it's part of my minimum routine), practice some speed reading and perfect memory, do some editing of cool drone footage and camera, and occasionally blog on here.

You can see that I'm a pretty unique guy and all of these add up for being my bare minimum standard to accomplish. I think no one in this world has an exact pattern like mine even though I have crowds who will share in my interest and some people just jealous of me from being stupid to start with. This should be the same for everyone else. Just how unique are you is the question.

I'm going to start off my days with those and get them done like it's my daily homework and then add on some more fun after getting a girlfriend!

Achieving Victory

One of the best things that occurred for me yesterday was how I finally reached VICTORY!!! It's over that stupid incident occurred with a few brats who were just plain crazy kids like I was. They were just a bit worse than I was and I held back so I wanted to go beat them up and I just didn't from knowing I would feel bad and from being tired of not understanding how things are. This is how I got through it without going through therapy. Therapy probably does emphasis these aspects though for a person, but the strongest growth does come from personal effort so I really didn't have to spend a lot of money to hire someone else to help me in this area. It's true I could have got over it faster though with a well-trained professional, but I had special needs I knew he or she wouldn't have been able to meet because of my unwillingness to change back then and also from being too shy.

It's three things put together that are very hard to do, but works in the end. Patience, honesty, and acceptance to the fullest scale. It's scary and can hurt in the beginning but with a little bit of bravery, it doesn't become so bad in the end. I think this is what the spiritual enemy out there wants to prevent everyone from doing. Yet, it's a principle that works and takes you so far. It's like a vehicle that leads the right people to have concern for you.

What happened yesterday was a major great outcome for me! A stupid guy's wife apologized on behalf of the stupid guy for what he did and with all of that humility she put herself through and what I could sense, yeah, I felt so good about it that I don't have to go try ruin the brat's life anymore. It's a major achievement and she really was sensitive to the details I explained to her. I was just being honest and proving to her that I was in control of the situation now and had a hard time getting there. I think she was concerned how I could have been so mad and out to hurt them and at the same time feeling bad about it, so she genuinely said she was sorry. It's tempting to do a me against the world scenario while feeling all violent inside but acting peacefully to enact my charge that can scare other brats who went crazy with me.

I think that's the thing though about me in that I was part of not serious incidents where it got too out of hand with the other person going ballistic. He probably has it repressed out of his head and if I were to bring it up, he would go crazy again and this is where I can start pointing my finger at him and laughing and making a fool out of him and then coaching him to be a better person if I want to or just moving on if he can't handle what I'm doing to him. I didn't have this confidence back then, but now I do so with the apology from someone else close to him, I accept it and don't need one from the brat and can go on with my life peacefully.

Simple Method of Planning and Executing

I have found out that this works a lot to my favor, but is a little difficult to manage. It still needs a little more work but has been helpful. It's probably mainly because it's all on paper and for my eyes to review about myself. All you have to do with my idea is write it all out on paper with anything you are setting yourself out to do and then just go after completing them!

It's really that simple, unless a person doesn't have anything to do on his or her mind and then I guess it's just go play and be a kid everyday until that gets really boring. I was like that in the beginning at the ripe old age of 25. I was playing video games and watching T.V. and trying to get my fix looking at pretty girls, but all of it got boring! I don't even approach pretty women from all the looking I did in the past and just don't care anymore about it. It was that bad with how much I got tired of doing those things. It was also depressing, so I snapped myself out of it eventually and feeling happy but it started from waking up and putting my mind to working out. It feels so good after the workout and there's a benefit to feeling like you are ready to conquer your day and tasks.

I really enjoyed doing all of those workouts and became super skinny while lifting bigger weights than them and people looking at me all crazy and wanting to quit from being jealous. I would high five them all the time too! I'm back to being average and have to pick it up again. I think it's on my TO-DO list and this is all I was talking about.

Company Needs Me

I'm finding out that my position as the only computer programmer of this company is very valuable! I'm programming their database, along with the software they use and trying to make everybody's life convenient. It's pretty much taking all of the data and transforming it into a piece of art that makes money for my boss. I'm finding myself with enduring the challenges and still going back at it the next day. I just don't mind the pressure I feel from wanting to perform at my peak level. I am meant to be at this job and grateful this is a position I can handle without really any regrets.

I would have to say that computer programming will be my high level job that can get me a six-figure income. It's a lot of fun and isn't the most difficult thing in the world for me. It's really about taking the time to gather the right tools and thinking about the right method to take and then spending time to implement all of those things at once and then patching up problems that arise later. In a nutshell, programming is like life hacking because it's about creating software to conveniently and efficiently do other people's work for them.

On and Off Disciplined Focus

Yesterday, I ended up doing work and driving to a salon to get my hair treated. I have a monthly membership with Hair Club and I do have hair loss in the form of my hair thinning out. I am trying to retain most of it and grow back some and so far, it's been working. I haven't had any major loss from taking some precaution. It's pretty expensive though in the form of being 200 dollars a month. I guess it's worth it to me then.

I ended up going off after being tired after driving back from work. I think that's the main factor I need to deal with while blocking out distractions. It's going to take quite a bit of discipline. Also, I need to be aware of how I could be having so much fun but have to cut it out to get something else done. This is pretty much how I should be living my life because I have a variety of things that I would love to do. I might as well try to exhaust my list of objectives I have in mind of completing for today.

A friend mentioned to me how he is task oriented. I think it can be really fun to keep those things in mind. I used to be thinking I'm goal oriented and all of these tasks do have one common theme in mind. It's about enjoying myself and being content!

Practicing Daily Awareness

A practice I have been naturally doing on a regular basis is writing out all my goals. The more I practice with remembering these goals, the better I know what I want with myself and my progress with them. I guess I'm fortunate that I feel none of them are impossible. This is in turn makes me someone who can be quite average and not that spectacular if I manage to achieve those objectives. Mainly, it personally deals with having comfort and enjoying the company of good people I've been blessed to be around by fate.

After setting up these goals, I think the most important thing to do is complete them! Instead of lounging around and trying to soak in more information and letting myself prepare for it, I guess it's a good thing to do this but for myself it can take a long time. I would like to snap out of it a little faster for staying focused. Therefore, it's been really important for me to preach and practice full honesty and acceptance. Without those two, it would have been difficult to gauge where I want to be and how I'm currently doing.

Mastering Self-control

I'm on like a mini-quest to improve some self-control issues. My main worry is that when I'm around nobody, I can start blurting out swear words and then immediately switch to being quiet if someone approaches me and feeling sheepish while hoping he or she didn't hear me! It's funny that I laugh about it but my thought patterns can be so random and lead me to the same memories that bring me shame. I don't cry about it, I just want to swear while feeling so much discomfort about those situations. It's been long passed obviously and maybe I killed my positive reputation already from doing those things with certain groups, but I would like to finally come to a peaceful resolution with myself and let it be something I accept without too much squirming and continuing to work hard on myself.

It could be that I gave it all I had during those moments but ended up falling short. It hurts a lot with repeating the same trend for awhile. Coming to an acceptance in this area and finding the right source of information and inspiration is probably the closest thing for separating the boundaries of success and failure. For myself, it's a constant reminder of the heartaches I went through and with time, it feels like I'm able to stay calm from unwittingly remembering those stressful moments and with anything closely related to it testing my patience.

I seriously love Nike's slogan - Just Do It. It's like waking up and feeling numb about doing the same hard routine of working out and going for it. Once it's finished, it feels great after the body went through some persevering. It's totally worth it to exercise regularly and best as you can. I think the biggest challenge is being aware of priorities and getting them sorted out with the time that's given to us everyday. It's because some of them won't be finished in one day and needs to be carried over. Along with priorities, it's great to attach them with desires to fulfill but sometimes it may not be the case and that's where it can get pretty tricky and cause laziness who suffer from disapproval.

Proper Maintenance

With a lot of great planning and being prepared for it, a great execution of the intended procedure should follow through. To have maintenance is pretty much about creating a regime to stick with. A lot of these plans are really about what you want to do and getting around to put yourself in that position. I know a few friends who are horrible at maintaining their lives and complain about it with me. It really isn't easy because there are things out there that can supply some fun to keep yourself pre-occupied and lose track of time.

I had to get out of those things myself and still putting some work into it. It looks like for most of this year and the last, I have been soul searching while writing on this blog to find an understanding to what makes myself tick and to optimize my lifestyle for obtaining the things I want. I need to be prepared for a lot of dry hours at work here to earn an income. It's going to be like my grinding session and even in the end of all of it, it's still very rewarding to work hard at it and earn a living. I have pretty much barely enough to get by all on my own. I'm looking for adding onto it to enjoy more things and I will get myself there from all this understanding and relieving myself of past drama that really sucked and never even mattered. I choose to forgive those lame brained idiots who tried to do me wrong without my consent and went crazy with me which is one of the things I hate to deal with in people. My soul will always find rest from trusting my life to Jesus.  

Limiting Amount of Fun

Having fun is very addictive especially when it comes to making money without having to put much effort into it. Some things are just made for people to be good at naturally and probably in most cases, it's interesting to the person and just has to be something that needs to be worked on. It then makes sense to go to a college to earn a degree and then pass an interview to go work for someone. Another route could be coming up with a brilliant idea from being fortunate and selling on it to become rich. It's awesome how it comes together for some people and inspire others to want to do the same.

It can be a good amount of fun, but there needs to be priorities involved to set some boundaries of how much time will be spent. Being a hard worker isn't such a bad thing once a person can get used to it. I'm starting to realize having a balanced life really does take quite awhile to set up and to maintain it will require some effort daily. Just how much time to spend for having fun and work is really going to be entirely up to the individual. I've always felt guilty whenever I spent too much on something fun that amounted to nothing in the end.

The biggest trick to everything is having great reading comprehension and secondly, the willpower to practice or see it through. I used to be bad at understanding textbooks and what other people wrote. It gradually became better from just wanting to practice and stay committed to it. It then becomes like second nature and the benefits that arise out of it is tremendous and too much of a blessing to want to miss out on. From being honest with everyone, I have managed to form some great relationships with beautiful people and to even sort out friends who still need to work on themselves.

Prioritizing Time

I'm starting to realize I have a lot of work cut out for me at this job. Currently, the system could use a lot more fixing especially with users complaining about how the old software doesn't have something. It's really nice to be able to stay busy at work. I don't have time to slack off now especially with not needing to work as hard anymore. I want to do so much with this opportunity at this job. It's beautiful that I'm learning a lot and able to apply what I know to make this software into a work of art and all by myself to make this company generate so much profit and easily!

For my personal time, I'm calculating that I need about five and a half hours a day. I remember working at one point and only getting like fifteen minutes a day to myself which was miserable and to do that for eight weeks straight! Mainly, I'm foolishly limiting my Bible reading and studying sessions to only fifteen minutes a day. I do enjoy listening to Biblical teachings from current pastors on the radio and to also tune into an awesome Bible recording. This additional time I spend from driving to work isn't something I count for my personal time. I was pretty shy about mentioning all of this to an online date I never knew had interest for me in the beginning of all time and took the step to message me. She's pretty cool and an attractive lady. We're about to take the next step, I think! I think I don't really know actually! It's going to be a lot of fun to make time for those dates and hopefully things turn out well. I'm hoping I don't slip up in my tongue or something that gets her upset and then I lose a good friend. I would like to see where this relationship will lead to. It may be enjoyable since I share a lot of her qualities.

A Social Weapon People Might Be Afraid Of

A few foolish people acted very dumb with me after going crazy with a word or sentence I tried to communicate. They were scared from being angry and thinking crazy but not able to do anything to me because I'm pretty smart! These weird and funny individuals struggle with having a peace of mind and there's no doubt about it. A lot of these issues can be resolved from obtaining enough knowledge and letting time pass. This is something I was so impatient about which was what made my relationships with these people even worse. Overall, it's all a part of us somehow and it's annoying and because I'm all over it and can be up in people's faces about it, I'm not really supported on Facebook with all of my comments that are quite normal and often times self-reliant; that's probably why I don't get likes because I don't really need it to be happy. 

Boy I was so weird in the past because I was depressed about not wanting to be a leader! I was weird because I didn't want to spend any energy to control people while I was angry at them. It made me depressed to have these feelings. I wasn't born to be a selfish person, but someone who struggles to understand the weirdest people in this world. It's a depressing desire to be born with. Yet, it's funny to realize this dream and be happy to have made some progress. This was all an introduction to only like one sentence to describe my title which is my topic of interest. 

I possess a tool where I can make people look bad and it arises from just being openly honest about them. The ones who have an unstable mind with me and have clashed with me might feel bummed out with me. I think it makes sense that they would fear me a little now especially with being able to sway their own crowd into thinking that maybe those individuals truly have flaws that affect personal relationships with others. In a way, I think it's a social weapon to be fearful about and out of that fear, to stay out of my way much as possible as long as I don't bother them. If I do decide to bother them now, I have enough knowledge to direct where I need it to go and have fun which is what they won't like. Again, this is all from being selfish which is better being left alone and for one to work on himself. In other words, this weapon I have is something I'm personally aware of but will want to use at a minimal amount to shift momentum into my favor and then drop immediately with the worst individuals to get in an argument with. I don't ever intend on arguing with a lady and it's a definite no-no to use this tactic on her, unless she's a crazy psychopath then maybe.   

To protect yourself with this, it's important to be equipped with building or coaching the person with fine techniques. I think being honest, nice, and diligent with working on yourself is really all you need in dealing with weird idiots like I came across. Even if it's about being yourself and going on the attack, it's important to be honest and nice as possible. It took awhile to realize that these situations might not be that serious and is indeed pretty funny. Before going in for the attack, accept everything about yourself and play for the gold. I was naturally born to win at these trivial games with people anyway and it's so stupid! Play this game at a minimal amount and limit it much as possible and accept the truth. I think I won all of my trivial wars with people, except for maybe one in middle school and also with a lady I wanted to be in a relationship with; man she was so hot, but she sort of became fat. Oh well, it's the way life is sometimes. 

Peace Of Mind

I'm inspired by this morning from having listened in to a talk given by a pastor named James McDonald. I was only able to listen to him for like a few minutes before zoning out, but it was refreshing to hear. He stated that to contemplate on wrong doing, it means forfeiting a peace of mind. There's a benefit to having a peace of mind especially in the field of pastoring a church. It allows you to be looked upon so honorably, no matter how bad any situation was. I ended up football tossing a Jehovah Witness Bible at a pastor who also works as a car dealer in front of his congregation. I did something really crazy and it leaves the members there feeling so concerned for their safety because of me. It's really funny to me now but I think the reason why I did that was because I was in disagreement with this pastor's interpretations of the Bible. It didn't feel relational to being built on the foundation of God's Word. He was sharing different translations of the Bible and I felt he could have been easily misled by a simple wording, instead of taking the time to study the customs and cultural context of the Bible which is so important. Overall, he doesn't feel like an ordained pastor to me and I don't belong at that church anyway- I was just trying to go there to seek relationships with the weird members there. It was very foolish of me, so I guess scaring them was the next thing to do so they would go after removing me from attending their church.

It's just a thing of the past to write about and have great laughs with now and to stay at peace with myself. I'm in a good position with also friends who care about me, so I don't need to bring it up with them to assert any opinions on it anymore. There is a foolish guy I know who is a brother to another foolish friend, who is a train wreck! He likes to constantly bring about this past conflict with the church and all the stupidity I put myself into to try to torture me, but lately, he's given up on doing that because I have a strong peace of mind. He only wants to be entertained by teasing me about stuff I'm attached to, but he's been losing a lot of ground lately with me and so it seems like he has been feeling depressed because I'm not much of a source of fun to him anymore.

All of this acceptance stuff with full honesty and being inspired by Jesus has led me to developing a peaceful state of mind. I will continue to work on myself and go after completing my priorities via administering self-discipline.

Life Update

Getting ready to go to work today, I found out that my car needed to have its battery terminal connectors replaced. Fortunately, it doesn't look like a lengthy cost for the mechanic. I called up roadside assistance and my car was started up. After I left for work, the car shut down on the left turn lane before entering the freeway. I'm fortunate with cars being able to drive around me and being left in a suitably comfortable spot for a car to break down. It was a lot of waiting around to get a tow truck and I took it to the mechanic shop near my workplace and then headed off to work.

It doesn't really seem like a stressful day for me because all I wanted to do was go to work and clock in. This is where I'm currently at now and it's like my day has been a rush. I found out yesterday that I have more than 5,000 songs on my hard drive and I thought it was originally 3,000. I have worked my way to sorting out the songs I like from about a 1,000 so far and it's just going to take too much time for me. I will just break it down into around an hour each day then.

It's about time I put myself back into the gym after working out like only once a week. I want to be a pretty muscular triathlon athlete. Supposedly, a person needs to put in about five hours of work a week with heavy weight training to see some significant increase in muscle and to also intake a good amount of protein each day. I would like to combine triathlon workouts with weights and also include pull-ups, push-ups, sit-ups, jumps, and yoga stretches into my daily part of life.

I think my most challenging days will be Monday through Thursday and the other days will be all about taking breathers. There is this useful program called T25 by Beach Body Workout which specializes in doing a full body workout in 25 minutes and doubling it on Friday. I guess I'll just follow the program and if I skip, I'll just move to the next one for that day. Nothing wrong with skipping if you body isn't into it. Just get into it when you feel ready. I want to work out and it always feels hard but after putting in the effort, it feels great and it was only like an hour or two and from putting that much time into my body, I'm feeling much more lighter and awake and it feels great in general!

Attracting the Right Attention

I believe that the right people will act the right way as long as you are being yourself. If you commit a heinous crime then the right people won't rest until they bust you and some right people will try to have you convicted for capital punishment. I'm basically saying from this crazy example that the right people exist in both negative and positive spectrums. From being a crazy psychopath in my head while wanting to just beat up people who refused to be my friend (I guess I knew the reality of how once people are dead, you can't have fun with them anymore), I managed to stay nice while being crazy angry at all walks of life who refused to be my friend for any reason!

It now comes to my acceptance that some people are morons and can't show this common courtesy to be friends with me for whatever level of ability they have or just going through something. I see the bigger side of things now. Most of the people I'm attracted to will allow themselves to be a quiet reminder to me at the bare minimum; whereas, people I don't feel that way to even though I managed to make them my friend will quietly bow out of my life and not try to stir up too much conflict with me. It's happened even though idiots tried to get me legally in trouble for stuff they couldn't handle. I write this and can make fun of them and they still won't do anything because they want to practice ignorance! It's how if I act a certain way towards them, then they will respond. It's like the white piece moved and then the black piece reacted in a game of chess.

My game strategy for forcing upon them to tell me they can't handle me is to just ask them and move on if one of them says so. I'll be nice like that and laugh at them because it will be so fun to move on after getting them to admit something that was bugging me to know about for ten years. The right people are in place to also care about me too so I could leave those losers aside if I'm forced to deal with these crazy psychopathic feelings of wanting to tackle them and then help them back up and do it all over again and shoving it down their throats that I want to be their friend. However, they were the right people to act like dumb people anyway. With this post, it relates to my beliefs. I believe that God is in control and I can worship Jesus the Son of God wholeheartedly just from having wrote this.

Using Imagination For Productivity

I think concentration for a fun activity increases when you are having fun doing it! In a likewise manner, I guess trying to sit at the computer and listen to the same yapping from the boss everyday can become rather dull. From doing a little reading on how to read faster and have better memory, the findings state that to do better at it one needs to have a fun imagination for associating all those details with. What's cool is that I still remember part of a trivial list I memorized for practice last week with this technique.

The author states it's like imagining yourself on a journey with the details working together in anyway you would like to; the crazier the imagination the better. I incorporate a lot of uh huh into my imagination and it never gets dull. It's better than trying to watch that stuff on my computer. I think it's all about practicing with the new habit because without it a person isn't going to make any improvements. The hard part is that it might not be too easy in the beginning, but it's like going to the gym and working out. It's something a person does I guess because he or she wants to. It all needs to be rooted in having the desire to do so and being committed to it.

Just having the desire and commitment won't be enough because without the right direction it's just glorious fluff! For example, this is going to sound obscene so bear with me- a friend's brother thinks he's the bomb because he spent all this time lifting heavy weights. He's very chubby right now and looks out of shape and still manages to tell himself that he's the best out there because he spent all that effort to improve himself. It's going nowhere my friends and I think people leave him alone because they think it's funny or he's just nice to them by staying quiet. For him, I believe in the saying "Silence is golden!"

Sharing Personal Photos

I think this is simply a no-brainer but liking your own personal photo for any reason is all you really need. Next step is to just share it and there's someone in this world who is bound to like it also. There are a lot of weird people out there with different amount of tastes and also decent people who won't hit the like button from noticing- I'm one of those people too. I guess it helps to know a good amount of people and be on good terms with them and they are also following you.

I'm trying to analyze something that's a bunch of blasphemous baloney sandwiches. I'm not trying to make money with selling photos anyway and if people don't like it then as long as it doesn't make fun of them or something on it makes them so angry then it's fine with them walking away from you. I really had issues with people not liking me and it was hard because I wanted approval from everyone even in the small areas of my life like just simply sharing a photo for people to enjoy.

I care about it and from posting them, I don't think people understand where I'm coming from so that's probably why they don't respond as well. It's about having fun and I guess I'll make more dumb guys jealous and be nice to them.

Fun Plans

Currently, my obligation with this family business where I get to be the sole developer of their management resources and database software has been given a little more leeway. I have proven myself to be quite valuable to this company because a lot of the plans that I have been doing from being tasked by my boss is very critical to financial success. It feels great to love what I do and caring about putting out my highest quality work and to even think about how I could do constantly do better than before and to even think about it while I'm out of work. I love this job as a software coder and to have full access to the front office's most valuable tool! It's a lot of responsibility that I don't want to screw up so I'm like never coming in drunk nor fooling around with some code that I know could do harm. It's tempting to be stupid, but then all of that being done will just make you want to beat your brains out. It's a cardinal sin to me at this job, so I won't ever cross that line no matter how tempted I am and even if I'm offered a billion dollars, I would rather die by sticking to a code of honor. Okay, I think I can be a fellow peer and trusted co-worker in this I.T. field. Man, I love it and feel blessed to be a part of it!

Jesus says in the Bible somewhere that to willingly lay down your life for your friends is like the kindest act of love. Well, Jesus did do that on the cross for all of our sins so he's pretty much a best friend to anyone who wants to accept him. I'm just relating to how I would rather die by the hands of the enemy than compromise this family business for my own future gain and pleasure- it doesn't feel right and even if I had millions of dollars in debt to pay with a couple young mouths to feed, why would I even be still alive by that time if I was forced into that position? I think this is called being incorruptible and there were men in legal enforcement back in the day who never stood to take any bribes even though they could have got away with it. Honestly, if I was working as a policeman in this day and pulled someone over for a speeding ticket and they would slip me $500 in cash, I would be like just go and screw this law and don't get in a car crash! It would be rather stupid though because the person could still get away with it by not doing that and risk getting arrested for attempting a silly bribe.

Extracting Info From Online Dating

A successful, attractive, and intelligent lady supposedly wanted to give it a chance with me through online dating, which I'm not too fond of anymore. It's a lot of writing- that's for sure. Some of her messages of late haven't made me really feel that much of a connection with her and it felt like she was being a little egotistical and having trouble letting go of something that hurt her in the past. She didn't reveal it to me, but I suppose if she responded back to me and tried to put her best foot forward but I ended up responding like a blogging blob then yeah, I'm going to lose my chances of being a prospect to her. She asked for this link to this blog and I was like oh man, I'll be honest and share only the people's favorites on here. It was accidental that the link from the title of my post also went through. It was late night and I forgot that e-mails can do that to you, so it really took some funk out of me in responding honestly with some interesting stuff. I had to explain myself and clearly I did to my own personal gratification with her possibly not wanting to get it!

I don't think she's going to mind me putting her in a honest light that highlights good things about her. Even if I decided to criticize her, if I put down the facts I'm sure it would be something for her to quietly dismiss or argue to justify herself without me knowing anything about it. I guess this is what you would call staying polite and something like 99.9% of the people I ever came across would do! She mentioned her ex being a cheater and I think it plays a large role with how she wants to choose her partner to settle down with. She says she doesn't care about materialistic values and I think it's commendable, so maybe a charming smart guy with great manners and able to naturally focus his willpower to love her all he can will be the right guy for her. She might not even notice the one which is probably hard for anyone in her situation or think the guy is just someone to be friends with because she doesn't feel any chemistry. Overall, we're living in an imperfect world and it isn't set up like a well-written romantic drama; they are only things to dream about or to allow ourselves to be entertained by.

Realistically thinking, I believe she's a very busy person and probably became a little mad when I mentioned I have a decent amount of female friends and how I believe one of them likes me back but  I think it's normal while she's dating other guys, so I put it in a way that said I'm willing to give ourselves a chance by starting out as friends. Is it because I'm making her feel like I'm only interested with just being a friend that she would rather spend her time finding a great guy who wants to be with her? I also told her about the lady friend I like being busy, so I don't find myself interested in pursuing her. Maybe this fine lady who supposedly messaged me back isn't even real- oh well, it was fun just being myself. I'll take it as a learning experience and it was wonderful to make a few inappropriate mistakes from writing to her. I think I accidentally turned her off by writing a long e-mail and the software sending it in small text. It might have been so laughable too!

Thinking back on this with my slight poker reading skills, she clued me in by saying that she hates dishonest people. Why be a hater when she said she always cares about thinking the glass is half full? I think she's a little full of herself but a lot of ladies can be like this, so I have to put up with it in my own partner if I ever marry a beautiful lady. I think she's not sure if the facts I put down are absolute and she was feeling good about me in her initial messages and even agreed with me and said "Yeah, I want to hang out. I'll let you know." I also mentioned my status of being an extrovert along with being a testosterone-driven guy- maybe it's a little too much for her to handle. In addition, I have lady friends too so she could be like the newcomer and feel unwelcome if anyone of them doesn't like her and she wouldn't want that pressure initially so maybe I should have held off on revealing that information to her if I really wanted to give ourselves a chance.

I guess with this whole dating and revealing honesty part the more honest and true to yourself the better; but sometimes you may notice your potential date having issues with certain types of people which is more often going to be a part of ladies. If a guy likes her then maybe it's better off to hold off on a few details just to give it a chance with only her and himself. It's not being dishonest- there is after all the most important and honest truth involved which makes the girl feel good about herself. The man wants to be with the woman who also likes him back.  

Making Most Out of Time

I personally believe that my greatest area of strength comes from having a deep interest in preparation for accomplishing anything. I may lack the skills after my planning becomes completed to see it all the through, but I would like this time to be a little different. I would love to see a crazy endeavor of mine go all the way through and let it be something that counts.

I'm grateful to have friends and cool acquaintances in my life. It takes a little bit of effort sometimes to put yourself in a position to connect with others, but it can be well worth the investment when it comes to friendships and doing fun stuff together. All these years that I've written about an old church I went to which felt anemic in teaching the full counsel of God ( the Bible), I have been making fun of them over nothing too serious. It really doesn't matter in the end because they can't really legally harm me even though they tried and it's an area where I get to finally have the last laugh. It's sad because I intended on resolving whatever was bugging them, but they lacked in sincerity with me and went crazy while making weird claims. I could set it straight but I had phobias of my own and a stage of denial, so I wasn't prepared to communicate honestly with them.

It's a different time these days and it's already been ten years, so it's about time that I grew up over this dumb matter and move on from it. I'm only stuck with the memories of it which tests my patience and I figure it to be rewarding because I have to make a little effort with improving upon myself. I'm also bound to a sworn pledge that can only be excused if one of those self-labeled current or former leaders were to tell me they are not able to tolerate anything about me. Here's the current layout- they became silent with me! The saying goes- ignorance is bliss and hopefully they can stay happy which I doubt because of their lack of heart and intelligence. There's no problem there; I think it's best to never go there anyway but there's really nothing preventing me anymore and it's up to me and I want to fulfill my obligations to be a witness to the Lord. I guess those weird people aren't really all that smart or never had the chance to consider all this.

Working On Myself

It appears that I don't really have all the time in the world to do everything in one day and everyday which I desire to do. This becomes really tricky for me then. It would honestly be nice to get plenty of rest in and have all the fun you could take in and then get better at your hobbies while getting paid for them! Wouldn't that just be such a lovely life-style and on top of it, have a very attractive spouse to enjoy your days with?

Well, I'll just keep on dreaming for it and trying to work at it. One of the biggest things I have to confirm and probably most adults can understand is that knowledge is power! Reading books or taking interests in other people's experience can be so valuable for improving your own situation. Why settle when you could work on yourself and take your beautiful wife, if you are a guy, on a second honeymoon?  It's just so much more meaningful to obtain it and really similar to coming to realize how the Bible isn't really so boring after all but makes you happy to learn what's going inside the Spirit of God and to question all the naughty acts or want to model off of what those once living Biblical characters did back in the day.

With this whole topic working on myself, I have things I would still like to buy so I could comfortably work out almost daily. This is from my own experiences, so here they are: Herbalife nutrition, pre-biotic supplements, meal prepping, running gels, swimming headphones, bike, and a triathlon watch. I can go more into explanation about it all this later. I already know for myself, so I'm just sharing it and don't feel like doing that right now.

For preparation, I want to just look at cooking recipes so will probably be looking for delicious and healthy food that doesn't take me long to cook, and I would like to create my own preferred music list so I could have fun while working out or even share it among my circle of friends while driving them.

For the work outs that I want to focus on, I do have a UFC gym membership at the moment and despite all of its cool classes, my goal is to become a triathlete. I plan on doing yoga, high intensity training, weight lifting following a book on achieving the perfect body, pull ups, maxing out my push up and sit ups, working out to jump higher, doing stretches to try to make myself grow taller, and follow a triathlon book's advice.

The rest of my activities lay out to spending a little time to making myself read faster and have better memory. Working on my trades by creating a journal, watching a video, and analyzing them. I would love to complete some Bible inspired prayer and study. I'm of course going to be maintaining my teeth, face, and hair daily with occasionally taking care of my bills and car maintenance. Along with that, lastly I want to focus on getting better with editing my pictures and personal movies for sharing them on social media.

All of these things are what I would like to do in a few hours each day before I just go mess around, but obviously it might take even longer than four hours initially so this is main plan of desired work I want to put upon myself and I think I'll be able to stay occupied for the most part.

A Review Of Letting My Mind Run

The last couple posts have been a personal guffawing matter (hard laughter) for me. It's all based on me being completely honest, so because it's funny in a way for me and other people not really laughing but responding well to it, I guess I can't go wrong on staying honest! This is all flowing so naturally for me, and I think a few people on Facebook might have made themselves a little sick to their stomachs when I wrote with a serious prose and then unfriended me! I can be insanely expressive and concern people who were being idiots with me. Yeah, they are scared and I think with me being so honest, they might be laughing and accepting how I'm torching them all the way to the Kingdom of Nod! It means no final destination in a joking manner. Therefore, staying honest even with people who were idiots actually works too. Honesty in communication is the key!

 I've been preaching about honesty so much and even supposedly a person who has my e-mail address and interested in online dating said she wants honesty. I don't really know yet but I will find out soon because if the person goes missing with me from my long and boring honest responses then you can bet you she had fake intentions and went off dating other people by now.

I have a lot of funny Adobe PDF files on seduction techniques. It talks about how women out there want some man to be with or she wouldn't be on the Internet searching for one. The author said the women he has dated have been the most physically attractive he's ever been able to date. I guess those women are pretty desperate to find dates and are bored of the same old typical guy and don't want to go through that motion and want something unique out of this guy, the author because he wrote something to stick out.

There you have it, I'm a reject on Internet dating and without me pursuing anyone, the most desperate women out there who want dates are messaging me. I don't know about it because they aren't physically that attractive and I had to question about the gender on a few ladies' profiles and not trying to be mean here.

Now time to get to the most concerned area after digressing about being honest to morons and potential online dates and now to what I intended this post to be all about. These are my seven areas that I want to work on: work out for a six pack, study Bible, trade to become a millionaire, socialize with pretty ladies, play song, music, and dance (3 in 1 combination); cook a lot of stuff, work with social media files, and personal hygiene to make myself look good with growing back my hair and trying to make myself still grow taller! This is eight or more areas I touched upon instead of my original seven that I had written out days ago to myself!  

Planning Things Properly

I see three drawbacks from all my attempts with planning. The first is being exhausted, secondly it's losing track of time, and thirdly it's running out of time. In the past I lacked so much confidence but it appears from me stepping away from some things, I'm only being made stronger. The more honesty and hard work I put into myself, the better the results! 

I'm still cringing about a few dumb individuals being unable to resolve their anger issues with me and trying to take it out on me while failing to be a crazy lunatic. It was so retarded! They aren't perfect and it's a no brainer. Man, I just needed them to tell me they can't handle me and need me out of their lives and force it upon me while being humble enough to stay perfectly honest but they were just idiots stuck under some youthful pretenses and being selfish. Yeah, the support they provided for others was built on a foundation of straw rather than bricks so they contributed to be a bunch of lame stubborn people in the end and broke themselves apart with me being the center of only getting kicked out of their circle. 

It's pretty much an unresolved conflict for me then and I only need one of them to confirm with me that he or she can't personally handle me. It's been a lot of work upon myself, but that's a huge improvement from starting at a me against them scenario. It all starts with coming to terms with accepting the honest situation. Check! Next, it's understanding what you personally need. Check! Lastly, it's working through a lot of baloney sandwiches to maximize your chances of getting to the position of what you truly need. In epilogue, accept your fate and hopefully you chose your steps well and didn't become all about you and trash the group's place that bugged you so much! It's basically to stay honest with all these imbecile, idiotic, I-see-only-me, and insensitive people. You know it's actually in the Bible to have these types of weird conflicts with people you know; just play your cards well to win. They have been falling out more as I keep improving upon myself. I'll just accept that the situation wasn't good for me and that I'm glad it's over until I reach my goals. I get to be a witness to Jesus with how I conduct myself when I have to fulfill this silly oath which isn't detrimental or illegal so it plays out. I've already moved on from the incident and am set in my vision though. 

Connecting With Ladies On Social Media

I put up a post about my deceased grandma while coming to terms with a tradition that my dad has been doing. I ended up getting likes from women being the majority and I know all of them. Normally, all of my posts have been pretty funny but this one was actually serious and had a little sensitivity taken into account and came out right for the most part. It was pretty cool in my opinion. I enjoyed getting positive feedback from the ladies. It was an interesting thing to share but I was just in the right mindset and normally, I'm trying to joke around and appeal to more guys than girls from being funny.

When I checked my Facebook posts, I ended up losing two friends on there. I don't know if it's because of the slight popularity I attracted with ladies or it's because the last post didn't get that many likes. Still, I was getting a decent amount of focused attention for both of them. I'm wondering if it's out of jealousy now from acquaintances but there's always going to be a few bad apples for me to deal with. I don't really mind anymore losing some friends and it's not going to change how I approach and express myself. I guess I will just keep working on myself then and going for honesty. It looks like the ladies can respond pretty positively to me. I think a few people want to have selfish thoughts and need to bow out of being friends on Facebook for whatever reason. Maybe, they don't like it that I was able to attract some attention from girls they think are cute. I don't know, but I do think it's funny now to lose Facebook friends while putting down posts I think are interesting and sharing things about myself.

Keeping It Simple And Purposeful

Obviously, to go after anything, a person first has to realize his or her desirable objective and then put in a little work to achieve it. How to go about it can be tricky at first, but that's where searching the web and coming across like this blog post can come in handy. I don't expect really to receive much feedback from regular people because I'm just free writing and not getting enough views. My writing style doesn't really come across that pointy and isn't really invasive while probably being individualistically sentimental to myself, so I'm just writing to work on myself mainly and that's a good thing!

One of my objectives I'm going to share is how I want to meet good looking ladies without having to go fish for them on a dating site. It's too hard for me to be consistent at it because I'm too short and have read articles with some evidence about how a short man will be passed up. It doesn't really matter and there's no way around it. I was born this way and women are just attracted to certain types of men from the way they were born- I guess you can compare it to being born into royalty if you wanted to. I've even lied about my height once and what I do and tried to come across with what I believe an ideal man is, but no, women on those sites didn't really believe me and most women who would be on there would be the ones who have such a hard time finding dates and need some romance in their lives. They might not be that physically attractive which could be fixed by them working out and putting on makeup but it's not a perfect world. They also might have children and these ladies looking for love are probably the majority who would find themselves relying on a third party source such as dating sites or word of mouth the most.   

The way I've been going about it is a very safe method and it's even easy to conceal. There are plenty of meetup groups to join on meetup.com for free with no obligations. You just set up a profile with your picture on there and proceed and click away with joining groups that pertain to your interests. I just click the option for all nearby meetups and start scrolling down the list as it goes by in order with the time. There are only two criteria I look for: 1) how much interest I have for the event and 2) are there any good looking ladies I could meet?

What's so nice about meetups is that the friendships you gain on it can stick with you for a lifetime and even something special can come out of it. I'm great friends with an attractive lady and know she still likes me while her life is so busy and going on dates with decent guys who have money; I met her through this meetup site. It's not really cheating because these people on there could be on the same page and so it's worth it while potentially being a blast with each meetup you go to and socializing with maybe even nice hosts.  

Reading To Achieve

I'm starting to see the benefits of being an avid reader. Having grown up, I was never the type to really like books. I just wanted to be outside and play all the time with my friends and try to dominate in the sport we were playing. I think I was a perfectionist so I only cared about getting good grades because it meant getting a payday from my happy dad and I think he only gave me like $10 which was a lot to me back then. What happened was that my dad refused when I brought home one B and still had passing grades. It really disappointed me that my dad didn't live up to that promise and so I got butt hurt a lot growing up.

It was back then and felt so serious but now all of that is funny and I'm glad that reading a nice book really has its perks for me. I have grown into more of an adult, but I don't really appeal to that many because if I'm successful I don't really have my way of connecting with people on social media. It takes a lot of effort and can be stressful, so I guess losing friends on Facebook which was really annoying to me in the beginning is not such a bad thing after all. It only minimizes the amount of people who can potentially see me in a bad way, so it should really be on them and I shouldn't have to force them to stay on and only get the clarification I need from communicating with them if I get the chance.

It's not really such a big deal to me anymore, but a few people I have confronted about it have gone really out of control to the point that they started shouting and trying to make fun of me and then getting all scared because of my angry reaction to them. Of course they would be afraid of me because of the way they acted and how they would want to avoid the situation, but I kept on going to bother them with my self-righteous act. 

There's one way through all of that and from having read and analyzed all of these things in the past and studying to become a better software developer for my job which requires step-by-step logical thinking, I have realized that with communication being the key, all I really need to ask is if they can't handle me in any way, shape, or form. If they say yes, then I'm cool about dropping it. This would mean bad for them and good for me and that's the way I like it! I believe because I can become such a in your face type of person from just writing and when I can open up with all of my genius cells coming together while interacting, it just doesn't really connect to a level that would appeal so greatly to people or they just want to ignore it because it's too much but don't mind from thinking it's entertaining. It's got to be something like that. 

Basically, I think people are drawn to other inspirational people because they are so successful and not everyone gets there and can be so sad and it seems like with me being such a short guy, I can make others feel inadequate sometimes. Yet, with working on my body, finances, and spiritual attitude it really does connect well with people I'm attracted to. I'm just not attracted to the mass general people I guess, so that's why I'm comfortable with where I'm at and how generally others can respond to me. It's been cool though to get their attention for earning kudos from them only once. 

Cool Development With A Lady!!!

This one lady I get along really well with mentioned to me on text that she loves me and adores and even cares about me. We're just friends by the way and I sent her a text saying that I love her too. Awww, it's so cute right with just being friends? I know that she likes me and can say that with emphasize and even in a laughing manner while knowing it's still the truth. There's enough indication for it without me needing to ask her now.

She pretty much did something like pouring out her heart to me in one of her texts before going back to her busy life and I'm used to getting a text from her daily. I've been thinking about this since my afternoon and been wanting to write it on this post. I like her back while she's possibly dating another guy right now. She allowed me to get to first base with her and initially dragged me there a little too, but I'm still not ready to steal second.

This is actually a positive conflict for me because there's probably another two girls who could be interested in me too. You can't go wrong from mutually liking each other while still single! All of this is happening while I'm standing only 5 feet 3 and 1/4 inches! It's like the fifth dimensional wonder for me that this could happen to a short guy.

Here's my secret which isn't much because of lazy people out there- work out for the muscles and six pack abs, go for making a lot of money, and work on your personality. If these are a man's genuine goals, the man is still attractive to women while he doesn't have them. They are my genuine goals and it goes to show that living for those goals supersedes being short and makes you stand out to attractive and close female friends, which would be like the hardest for a man to ever get in a relationship with. Once a man obtains them, I believe a lot of gorgeous women out there will be interested in dating him if he wants to. However, from working on the personality, it is expected for the man to stay faithful to the beautiful woman he eventually falls in love with and marries.  

Areas I Want To Work On

I'm pretty much the underdog here because I'm making no money with this site! What I mean is that I'm willing to expose myself out there from being honest. This method isn't really popular with people because let's face it, how many out there are genuinely happy like I am?

I'm happy to be in the Lord and always even though I continue to sin and fall apart from acting stupid and thinking about sexy things and sexy stuff and doing stupid things that I think are sexy and from forgetting it and repeating the cycle over and over again. It's called the sexy and stupid cycle- no, I just made it up. Yes this area of trying to be sexy and stupid at the same time is something I need to work on. It's actually not sexy at all because I still need to work out more. I think I'll go ahead with that then and still be mindfully happy. I'm just lucky that I'm not hiring girls to date me and waste my money on them for the time being. It's just that I can get it for free and who doesn't like free?

I need to continue working on being a sexy man basically. Another area is that I have the need for speedy development with doing stuff! I don't want to sit my butt on the floor and play crazy racing games when I could build my own cobra and start leaving a venomous trace in the form of leaving a trail of fire while burning my opponents on the track. I'm not literally killing them even though it sounds like it; I'm killing their hearts and souls by killing their happiness from beating it out of them while alive!

Yeah what I would like to work on more is being a sexy man who can do a lot of stuff, so this means I'm going to need money and to keep on working out. It's a lot of hard work and I need to stop thinking about doing stupid stuff over and over again. The more I can decrease those things, the better for me. Of course, my life wouldn't be complete without finding an attractive girlfriend to marry eventually too. For now, I just have lady friends to hang with.  

Working Hard For Improvements

I'm starting to now laugh about my failures in communicating with people and them falling out with me. It's always happened to me and I know they don't think I'm cool because I made them so mad or crazy for whatever reason that I get annoyed over trying to figure out. Sometimes, I get flashbacks and imagine how it would have been like if I went swinging for the fences by punching their lights out or sitting on them with my heavy frame. If I did something like that, then I would be way out of control and even more scarier but probably funny if I tried to justify it. I could even go to prison for it. 

Beating up people in my past just for the sake of getting in trouble and appeasing my anger issues just isn't worth it. I can see why guys in movies can be called villains for how they beat up characters. There's a way to laugh in front of their faces and move on which is a lot easier. It's so much more effective and is like tearing out their hearts from using meaningful words. They would feel so helpless with you and not have anything to go with in getting you in trouble if they wanted to settle on being antagonistic. I have been pretty good at bothering people I'm mad at though and for them to be quite affected by it at times. I'm called scary for a reason behind people's backs and didn't know what they meant, but now I can get pretty good laughs about it and just say something like "Whatever stupid!" 

A lot of this has been coming to mainly acceptance and thinking through my steps. Yesterday, a buddy annoyed me again by responding to me with a dumb text message. I messaged him that he's annoying and he replied with a message that says he doesn't comprehend it fully. He's not able to see himself in a factual, third person view too well for two reasons; it's acting like a robot with no feelings. Secondly, he has too much going inside of his mind and emotions which translates to frustrations, depression, or anxiety. He pretty much said something about how he accepted it because he's better than me in some way. Okay, I'll let it slide but I'm better than him in that I'm more intelligent to be able to write about him discreetly and to also have better honesty which causes me to find acceptance and be motivated to work hard for improving myself. 

Finding Balance

Seriously, I really should start all my sentences with "Honesty, that's what it's all about!" Well, you could have honesty about everything and start hating it which will turn you into a serial killer but no I wouldn't want that now would I? I'm just talking to myself here by the way, so I must be mindful of all the visitors I'm getting which is starting to top only 50,000 visits with probably 75% of it being just me. I'm getting a kick out of reading my posts throughout the day. I have had this site for over ten years now, so that's a lot visiting going on that I don't want to sit there and count that many times now. I guess that's how I know that this site is going good for one, considering that I'm not making a dime off of this blog. I'm not going to put in any more time than I really need to, except just please myself. Yeah, this blog will serve my purposes with talking about Jesus all day, whenever I'm in the mood for that.

The most uncomfortable posts that I wrote on here and had to come to accept has been to realize that some people were acting unacceptable with me because their minds were fixated on acting stupid. Oh well, it still hurts but at least it's something I can laugh about now. I'm just going to be honest with them whenever I get the chance I guess because for me, it works better than always criticizing them which is what got them to ignore everything I write to them about and disappear without reading my messages. I can say that I realize things about them being angry and stupid and that I can be better than that for now by moving on with my own life and not worrying about it. On top of this, they haven't got me in trouble for anything and can't even do it if they wanted to, so they are just forced to ignore it. This is me being at my worst so I can clearly say on record here that they are some stupid people and everybody knows they have had hiccups now.

Honesty takes a lot of bravery to accept, and it can be all done out of love!

Making Little Strides

Right now, I'm just doing the best I can to earn a lot of money legally and then not really have to work long hours and enjoy the free time to do other side projects or go socialize to keep myself busy. I think by that time, I will be very comfortable to go on dates. For now, I'm just managing to have some good lady friends and they have mentioned that they care about me. I believe that it still might not matter even if a guy isn't born with some physically attractive qualities for getting in a stable relationship with a gorgeous woman. It's just going to probably be ten times as hard and something needs to go right which I don't know about yet.

I thought that I wasn't going to enjoy physical intimacy with the wife after doing that so many times, but I don't think now that will be the case. It's a good thing that my lustful sins haven't gone over the edge and ruined my health or finances. I'm ready to set my heart right with the Lord again and to keep working on myself.

For a short guy like me, I've been recently able to have these special occasions with women wanting to give me a chance and even expressing an interest in me. It's just being aware of the situation and persevering with anything that can be annoying. I have been able to have conversations via text with about ten different female friends this week and that still doesn't make me a player in my own books. Most of them have also initiated with me too about doing stuff with them. It's quite nice actually while being reasonably interested in marrying a beautiful lady someday and then enjoying it to my heart's content.

It really does feel a little awkward to think romantically about all these great girls who I'm friends with. I mean I still like hanging out with them for good company. Well, I guess I can just call it informal or unofficial dating with them if we had so much fun with something and it was just us two hanging out. How I want to conclude is that physical appearances do matter for a guy in the areas of where you can improve like keeping a clean, shaved face and wearing nice clothes with good sense of fashion and working out to build muscles.

Things like being short or ugly because the guy was just born like that don't really matter at all when it comes to being friends but might not be the case for a relationship. If the personality of a guy is so lovely and he stands out from being rich with a lot of muscles and very intelligent and have even worked on all those things, then yeah even if the man is still short and ugly, he's going to be seen as very attractive for dating by a lot of women. I sort of have those qualities and not there yet; I'm short, but not very ugly at all so I have something to be grateful about and to stay calm about. I've been told that I'm handsome by the girls who matter the most to me, so I guess I can feel fortunate and keep working on myself and having fun with them. I'll be rich someday and have the muscles that I want while persevering through these annoying times of not being able to find an attractive girlfriend! I'll be patient and accepting of the situation and honest; all these things really have built great relationships with these ten or more girls who are my friends and hang out with regularly.

Thinking Long Term About Relationships

I'm not mentioning any names but I have lost my physical attraction to some women as they have been getting older. The younger ladies who are popping up all of a sudden may have a better appeal in physical beauty. However, I'm not sure if I would be compatible with a very young and physically attractive lady so it looks like I might have found myself in a jam if I had married anyone I could do it with back then.

This is what I'm noticing so highly about relationships with my lady friends. They are around my age and have physical flaws from getting older and maybe sometimes not working out or just being born with a certain look that I don't like. It doesn't prevent me from still liking the majority of them because I care about them. The way I'm seeing it now is that I might be satisfied with just an average looking girl or maybe someone below average but somehow still looks cute to me.

It has got to be a part of God's intended nature for physical attraction to be what excites a man for pursuing after a woman he desires. I'm able to settle for average or even below-average and still preferably cute. It's very normal to guys. What now becomes the most important for me is their personality and if I can be compatible with them. I may have all the right stuff to be with a certain girl, but she might already be taken or just uninterested for whatever reason about me. It could even be vice versa on those rare occasions that have happened for me!

I think it's just important to not give up and keep at it with finding the best solution while working on yourself and hoping that wonderful day will come. If not, at least you tried even if the parents think you are dumb before they pass away. Hey they had a major part of putting me in this world and raising me while I was born this way and accept it! It looks like the main reason is me not being happy with my finances and I have to be the one who succeeds without my parent's help before I can have confidence to go find a girlfriend. There is a girl right now for me who may be interested even with my normal paying job that would put food on the table for just us two.

One of my buddies is too short, fat, and looks unintelligent with like some defect he was born with. He says he's been talking to a nice lady every once in awhile and trying to date her but he's never been in any committed relationship. I don't think those ladies are taking him too seriously and he appears to lack the ability to improve his appearance and make more money so he can maximize his chances with settling down with a nice woman and her family backing him. I've seen him reply back to me in a sad manner, which is an acceptable response. If he's able to keep repeating his pattern of trying to find women over again and no success, then I guess it's like being addicted to gambling. He's old enough to make his own decisions and if he can't see it for himself now, then it's tough even though I've tried to encourage him to make improvements.      

Understanding My Path In Life

Being able to pray to God and to continue working on myself has just been a natural given. I'm suffering just a little from not having what I want in life, but I don't see any problems with working hard at it and hoping for the best. What's actually really hard is just coming to an acceptance that achieving the dream may never occur. For example, my annoying buddy finally came around and admitted to me the other day via text that he's just playing Magic: the Gathering (MTG) as a hobby. MTG is a trading card game (TCG) with a slight similarity to other popular TCGs like Yu-Gi-Oh and even Pokémon from awhile ago. These games have been so popular worldwide that their respective publishing companies have hosted lucrative tournaments and attracted enough sponsors for interested pro-gamers.

My buddy has been pressing me to play a bunch of matches against him because he wants to keep on getting better at it. I broke the news to him that he annoys me too much while playing him, so it looks like he may sometimes have a bit trouble finding others whenever he has time for it. My honest opinion of his skill level wasn't pretty but I felt it was necessary for me to address because I don't like to play with him anymore and he still doesn't get it. I advised him to go play in local tournaments and accepted his passive and unintentional taunt that usually riled me up enough to play against him. Just from being straight up honest with him, it helped me keep my composure. Therefore, honesty is definitely the way to go no matter how hard, frustrating, and disappointing it's been. It's better to address it now and try to figure out something and why not go after solving it to move on with your life!    

Maybe Dating Relationship Opportunity and Strengthening Goals

I mentioned that there's this girl who I get along really well with and that she's going to be forever taken. Guess what, she broke up with her boyfriend of five plus years dating. It looks like that was pretty rough on her and she never mentioned it to me, even though all my other friends knew about it. She invited me out to an event and said to suit up and after doing that, she appeared to me in a stunning dress and told me I was her date. I thought she was playing, but it looks like she wasn't because I just didn't know she broke up. It was like weeks after that event, an annoying friend mentioned it to me via text.  

Okay, so she is available now and one of her best friends told me that her heart will melt if you cook great food. So far, she's actually enjoyed my cooking and told me to cook more even though I really didn't. I just didn't know but now I do. Our compatibility score may be through the roof as well AND and then AND and then … she's pretty smoking in appearance, too. Good thing I'm not shy with her and she's always messaged me about appreciating me a great deal even while dating the long term guy who is a great chef to her, so figures with what is bringing her misery right now.

With this whole strengthening deal with goals, I've noticed something that is very strong with bringing conviction and motivation. It's a nice perk for being a full-on believer of Christ's resurrection while Jesus was born a man and is God and wants to help us have a relationship with the Father in heaven who is also God and to bless us with the Holy Spirit which is also God. God took care of everything folks, just have to believe so I'm praying away, let me do this and that with my goals. I want to stop sinning with saying bad words while around nobody. I don't want to sin by watching people entertain us from doing activities I envy them doing and feeling stupid about it later, when I could already to do that myself while waiting for the appropriate time.

Prayer really works and it strengthens a sure-fire believer of Jesus and even gives power to accomplish all of those stressful goals he or she has in mind, while managing time properly. Along with prayer, it's important to listen or study up on the Bible too; it really goes in hand together. Lastly, it's to develop enough discipline to do the things God is mentioning in your heart. It's actually relieving to grow and realize that God's promise came through and there's no need to worry so much as usual anymore.    

Strong Work Ethic

I think one of the areas that I would love to work on is my work ethic. I naturally love to arrive on time for things even though I struggle at times for whatever reasons. Things will sometimes just take me a little longer whereas in other areas, I may be slightly faster. It's actually pretty hard for me to be on point with doing all of these little tasks and being consistent at it. This is really going to take a lot of effort for me to get them done.

There's a lot of balance with my life that I'm going after and I seriously know myself enough from spending enough time thinking about it lately. The issue that I'm having is I'm not delivering at a level of expectancy I want to be at and being consistent at it. This is really hard for me to grasp but I will never give up.

Spending Time Wisely

What's turning out to be difficult is making time for others and also spending money, so I guess it becomes a lot about priorities and there's really no right and wrong answer when it comes down to it. I guess you just have to born a certain way and also work on it to attract the people you want to be around. Time management in itself is an art and I believe a lot of is required for leading yourself to where you want to go.

Where I'm finding myself lacking is that my mind loves to wander and keeps me from being productive. I think just taking a breather and turning on the TV will pretty much cause this distraction for me as well. It's probably that I should know better but my mind is weak sometimes so I have to keep working on myself. One of the biggest obstacles for me right now is sorting through a lot of stuff that I don't really use and cutting it down while making the best use of my time. It's been taking me days to do like a complete overhaul of my life and that's still going on for me.

It Sucks But It's Funny

I think my parents are really annoying now that I think about it with them bothering me to get married! I know the type of girl I would love to marry but she really isn't around for me to date. I'm worn out with all this searching and would like to continue to work on myself and do stuff that conveniently relates to me. What I figure is also annoying is being told to marry only a specific ethnicity. If she's a beautiful person both inward and outward and close enough to the full package then that's enough said and I'm not going to care what anybody else thinks and consider myself just very lucky when the day happens!

I'm glad that I picked up on being honest with annoying people because it's keeping me from wanting to kill them! They have reasons to be afraid of me and think I'm crazy. It's because they are acting like a bunch of irritating buffoons. I would be afraid of approaching people if I kept on going off like that with others too. Just for being annoying and not being able to control themselves, they want to justify best as they can that they can do things better than others. Well, just from being honest in my approach with them, they have actually settled down in being crazy each time. I will just keep on being honest because it's working for me!

Annoying people suck and I wish I didn't have to deal with them, but they will always be around to tick me off. Grabbing a machine gun and blowing them away is too extreme for me, but maybe filing a restraining order and complaining about how I can't handle them as a person to the judge might be funny to me. It's so selfish if I go for that, but it's something to think about. The one thing I've noticed about annoying people is that they back off and then after some time passes, they try to get you again.

Being annoying to others is also funny too and so mean at the same time. I've been annoying myself so maybe it's what goes around, comes around. It's while being annoying that it's important to open up much as possible even if it stresses you out later for revealing something bad about yourself. I know this because I've had good results happen that I secretly want and it's being all love-see dove-see with everyone!

Dealing With Annoying Things

I find a lot of common things to be annoying like my parents, a friend's sibling, traffic, and being shorter than a stranger just to name a few. Learning to deal with it has never been easy but a lot of it has been coming to just accept it. I think acceptance is what some peaceful religions like Krysna and Buddhism might be trying to achieve to when it comes to beliefs that happiness comes from disassociating with too much attachment for something.

I guess what can make me so scary is if I decide to channel in all that negative energy while the person has no clue and not knowing that I'm putting on a poker face. He or she can't handle it so much if I wait too long and going to think I'm crazy. I'll just say that it's their weakness now while pointing it out and turning to laughter. It gets them to stop talking and what I was afraid of- creates a rift. I think I can come to a peaceful and quiet understanding of them without really having to engage so much after the clash, but what's really solved all of this vengeful spirit underneath me is from having just been honest. All I'm really looking for is the person to just tell me he or she can't handle it, so that would look to me as a laughable weakness and I won't have problems letting it go so much if nothing so serious like getting my hand chopped off happened. Actually, it would probably help even then if the person said something like that for forgiving him or her.

In a way, I think people hate saying sorry so if I can get them to admit they can't handle something then it looks like to me that they already dropped the ball so I don't have to push it even further. Looking at it from my perspective, I don't want to admit that I'm weak but I guess I should do so out of honesty. If the person decides to go further, then it's pretty much taking preventive action then or I guess just laughing about it eventually after having gone crazy. I think it's important that I tell a person if he or she is bothering me even after the thing happened and be like don't do that again or I'll go crazy and make you feel the same and have you admit that you can't handle something about me. It's annoying to do this also, so I guess people should be a lost cause at their own risk.

Holding Back On Purchasing

From now trying to clear up all of my installed payments, it looks like I will have to be picky about what I buy because I don't want to not use it while also having it take up space. The keywords that I'm looking at now are fun, useful, affordable, and not time-consuming. Basically, I'm looking at dealing with social media and not really trying to make a profit off of it. I think from this intention at the beginning, it doesn't appeal to that many people already, so I'm safe to always experiment and grow as an individual.

In other words, I'm going to try to finish everything I can without spending so much money. I might as well go for what's useful. My main intent will be to see my savings increase, so I can have enough to invest in things that could be profitable for me and to also feel more free with being giving to others when I'm in the mood.

Trying To Reorganize

Well, for starters it appears that my main errand over the past week has been moving things back slowly from a storage locker. It costs me $144 a month and from doing some math, I could use the extra savings for paying off my car payment and school loans which is pretty much the bulk of my monthly, fixed expenses. It appears the main thing with saving money would really come from being a DIYer which stands for do it yourself.

I'm basically looking at myself with becoming in the top 1% when it comes to success. It's pretty hard so I have a lot of listing and sorting out to do while managing my time. One of the greatest assets that I believe I have is information from surfing the web. It cuts down on a lot of trial and error instead of being afraid to chase after things while in the dark.  

Way To Use Facebook

Facebook is pretty much just expressing myself and adding lots of fun pictures and enjoying other friends' posts. I'm a confrontational and scary person for a short man and very testosterone driven with above average intelligence. It could be from actually having enough smarts if I set my mind into it that if a person acts rude and crazy, I will pick up on it eventually and they would have reason to be so scared of me, if I'm angry. I think this is the very essence why a few individuals don't want to have anything to do with me.

In a way, with them removing me as a friend because of me being so distracting to them while fearful of my antagonistic nature, I'm cutting down on interacting with more weird people! It seems like because of this common problem that I have developed, I'm not that popular on Facebook. It's a pain to figure out people and I don't want to work for them either. I would rather get along while doing something with common interests and helping them out a little along the way. Basically, I just want to form relationships with people and be a witness to my faith in the resurrection of Jesus. I talk about being a Christian to my friends and from it, I act like a normal person in the world but a few things about me is that I'm nice to strangers but have admitted that I've scared a group of Christians who really don't feel that anointed with me in studying God's Word. Actually, I've noticed only a few at that church and those people are cool with me, so it's like the people I'm cool with are great Christians; whereas the ones who acted stupid with me are not that great so I'm being very biased here and I guess it's all natural.

The problem with that church is that the ones who acted stupid with me claim to have dominion over the church! I sort of feel bad because I can't hang around with the people I'm cool with at that church anymore because of those leaders spreading negativity about me. To sort this out, I'm going to have to do a little damage control by just being an honest person. I'm just going to confront them even with the people I'm cool with around those leaders and just be like, if they can't handle me then I'll accept it now and they didn't admit it back then from having anger issues and being stupid with me. I will tell them the situation isn't serious and the people they want to use to blame me don't even go to that church anymore and never stepped up to tell me because it wasn't serious and the ones to make it a big deal were them with not much basis and being angry about something I don't care about either. There are also millions of churches out there who can do a better job than them and it's evidence because they are really small and nobody in the world really knows them. It's these spiritually led people who are encouraging more in the Spirit to go out and create more disciples and they just do it in a weird fashion that's based on their physical needs.

In conclusion with those amateur leaders being out of hand with me, I accept this could have been God's way of telling me to leave that church and find another that would accept me and to grow from there. It's like this church closed the doors on me from being stupid and it's bound to happen with weird idiots leading the way, so I guess I don't really have anything to worry about. I just want them to admit that they can't handle me and by them saying that, I will accept it and move on. This has so many funny implications against them because I'm attacking their weaknesses by choosing to walk away from them after getting them to say that they indirectly suck with being of any help to me while they are still angry with me. It's on their own grave then because they are a bunch of lost causes. I will make this move after I become a millionaire with a six pack and I choose to leave them alone for now until I have those things and then I will just be honest and ready for moving on while laughing. I'm already doing that anyway, just that I made this oath to God and it isn't illegal and it's not sinning against the Lord from confronting sinful Christian leaders of a church who don't know any better with my situation when I know it the best already.  

Situation With Girls

It looks like I have bonded closer with a lady friend's older sister. She thinks of me as an older brother and sometimes gets mad when I disagree with her and share my two cents about it. She will also introduce me as her friend to others and has laughed when one old guy asked if we are a couple. Only one person in the times we have hung out together have asked while another time, a person thought we were a couple. She and I get laughs off of it. From observing her, she admitted that she's attracted to tall, good looking Middle Eastern men. I mean I guess they are great looking and were born like that, and there's really nothing I can do about how I was born.  

On the flip side, there's a girl who has shown a bit of interest in me and I can really tell. She even told me in person that I'm hot! I was like thanks and that felt good. It looks like she would love to fool around sexually with her partner and right now she's available to date. I think she's cool with playing the role of a friend so far. I really should get around to adding her as a friend on Facebook after she requested it. I think I'll do so eventually after I delete a post on my Facebook, which is related indirectly to her! She's pretty cute and sweet. I might do okay with certain types of other women then in addition to my ideal type who is already married but I am friends with and appreciates me as well.

Well, the taller lady friend with the older sister I'm close to admitted that she likes me a lot. She even said that she wishes I was taller, so I guess that's how the normal preferences are going to be with women and I have to accept it. I think I've learned to accept how it is and let go of frustrations and since I was born a certain way, I'll just make do with what I can and go on trying to live my life from believing in and worshipping Christ's resurrection.   

  

Cutting Down Costs

It looks like a bulk of my bills are coming from paying off loans in the form of car and student loans. It would be awesome to get rid of them so I could have room to save up more money and go into doing my own investment business. Other than that, it looks like my living expenses have pretty much been about purchasing food, gas for traveling, buying useful gadgets, and for staying at a place. I still rent from my parents which really sucks because my mom is forcing me to pay up $850 a month to stay and she's only using that money for savings with her own bank account. It's implied that I'm going to get all of that back when it's time to buy my own home, but there's no guarantee.

I would rather go into my own business now so that I wouldn't have to ask for any money back from my parents and to be able to afford my own family vacation. I might just treat out my closest friends who are like family to me while not worrying so much about wasting money on them. The only thing it really has come down to is just money and I have the desire to work for a lot of it in the area of being a very smart person and doing things legally so that I can have the government off my back.

Working as my own boss and only by myself, I won't need any employee because how hard really is it to hit a button and exchange fluctuating currency rates for attempting to make profit? People think it's like gambling, but I've been working at it to find an edge and not many out there who are very serious about it except for like 99% of the small number of traders in the world losing lots of money on it! Yeah, that will scare a bunch of people from trying to make a business out of it, and I'm not even going to bother sharing my secrets with anyone because it probably won't even make any sense to them and I don't really want to teach anybody when I could just relax from enjoying the fruits of my labor. So yeah, I think being lucky after all of this hard work to get there is only fair and comes after paying your dues.

Overcoming Distractions

Yesterday, I ended up watching the World Cup and it was a delight to see the weaker team Japan give the third best team in the world a run for its money. They were up 2-0 in the 60th minute and most spectators thought they were done but at the end of the game, Belgium won 3-2! It was an excellent game to watch and very entertaining and the Japanese team was really sulking about it. After that, my mind was just on soccer and I couldn't think about my other priorities!

Yesterday, from looking at the photos of girls who were going to meetups, I was attracted to a few so I saved those events for socializing. Today, I'm not really feeling the same attraction anymore so I closed it out and not going. I'm just not feeling it and figure that I will work on myself this weekend. Honestly, I'm about playing catch up and I feel a little regret that I didn't maintain what I originally had set my mind on. If I really continue doing something similar like this for the next five years, then I'm really going to feel like a nobody.

However, it feels like I'm a natural when it comes to interacting with girls I'm great friends with. They are like a text away for hanging out and in a way, it's good for me. I actually want to improve my appearance and keep working on myself and wear decent clothing before going to hang with them. It's also fun, and I've realized that they do the same by habit. For me, it doesn't come naturally and I have to put in some effort. I guess it's good in that it keeps me in check, so I feel lucky to have a good amount of lady friends and to also hang with them and have fun socializing.

The past is done and over with. I'm figuratively only a few mouse clicks away from getting everything back in order. The only distraction I feel like I really have is my parents because as they are getting older and sometimes look more mellow, it seems like when I'm back from work, they are ready to relax and can appear to be so lazy and it's appealing to me with what they are watching too! I mean even with a roommate or maybe the wife someday, I could probably still be easily carried away if they put on a show to watch. I'm so susceptible to joining in and forgetting about what I wanted to do with myself.

Therefore, it's probably not my parent's fault that I can easily be distracted and join in with they are interested with watching at the living room. I can probably even be momentarily distracted in this outside world too. Also, my mind can play like I'm in an intriguing and dramatic world so my daydreaming could get to me. I just have some concentrated efforts that I would like to make and need to accept it's not going to be fun feeling like I'm missing out on watching something entertaining sometimes.

Researching Prowess

One of the things I lacked in the past was my knack for googling about stuff I wanted to know more about. It's probably because I was fed up with reading and had like reader's block whenever I sat there. I would just stress out and have so much anxiety because I wanted to take in everything in the quickest amount of time possible. I would sit there for four hours one page while studying Physics in my college years and I still didn't get it! My reading comprehension was that bad, so how did I get better? It took patience, learning to relax, and practice while reading up on things that interested me.

I felt this sense of agony in the past whenever I tried to read and I would get a headache. I couldn't even tell what I was writing on this blog either and totally ignored everything I wrote and just not get what I even wrote for myself! It all started coming together when I just sat there through the pains and boredom of having to read and reread the same thing over again. It doesn't bother me to do this anymore so much, but it used to from being like a hassle.

What got me reading were those catchy articles like "Top 10 Reasons" that some websites post to draw in reading victims. I became one of them and was hooked for awhile and just started reading and getting what they were talking about one day. It just came together and just happened. It's like meeting a girl and she ends up liking you and asking you out. I don't know how but it happened for me!

Now, I don't feel so pained to read up on what other people shared on the Internet. Of course, there's also YouTube for those who can't stand text. I have found that it's quite faster to look through text rather than try to pay attention to other YouTubers. I find myself zoning out unless the video is about an entertaining subject or the girl in it happens to be good looking! I guess it's all from being a natural and some just don't have those natural good looks that could help them settle with another gorgeous person. I'm just one of those born to sit in the sidelines when it comes to my looks and I've learned to accept it while continuing to work on myself. It's only because I'm short and not that successful compared to the top. It will drive you mad to compete for the top spot, so might as well just not care about being so short and let people think whatever they want because it's their own thinking, even if I disagree with it. I tend to scare away those type of negative people anyway so I might as well keep myself at peace and just accept the situation and find a good solution to work on while letting stuff just go which might not be that serious.

Winning Attitude

I think winning is all part of something a person is born with! I mean it's cool to be a guy who is born with physical traits that make girls think he's attractive. It's going to happen, but not for me probably. Well, maybe I will get some girls interested in me while just thinking about it, but I'm not really making a move on them so I'm probably never going to know how many really had an interest for me.

I really had issues with talking to taller girls in the past and this one girl was really hot and she added me as a friend on Facebook and I never said anything to her except try to check her out innocently and discretely without getting her to notice. I just glared at her whenever she walked by and never said anything, so I think that made her mad and she unfriended me.

Well, it's lesson learned in that if a physically attractive lady adds you as a friend on Facebook, she is really intent on talking to you as one probably! So with this winning attitude, I think the best I could do so far is just be friends. I'm pretty insecure and finding out at the same time for a guy like me, it's not really mattering so much because of me trying to get in shape.

I could be a short, good looking dude with a decent personality and keep working on myself and just go after making friends with more beautiful girls because that's what I like to do! My mom gets really annoyed that after all these chances I've had with cute girls, I haven't tried to form a marriage with any one of them. It's because I really haven't tried.  I've always felt it was weird to be liked for getting in a relationship, but yeah I can now see that I was a handsome lad while growing up and from being introverted, it might have drew some girls crazy for me because of my nice guy but competitive attitude.