I've recognized something really important and that's how God's love for us shines brightly on believers in Christ. I cannot legitimately state that I am worthy of God's salvation. I have found out that worshiping God and living out a life for Him is good and meaningful. It is God who covers all of my sins and any problems that others try to fault me with. I personally don't really think about if I'm going to offend someone by doing so and so. It's pretty odd that with me playing piano, it would be really offensive to my dad and have him go crazy just because I'm playing. I don't really receive any recognition from anyone for the piano, I play. My dad further accused me that I had no degree because I didn't put it in my heart to tell him and should be focusing on getting a career. It felt like my dad was telling me to hunt for a job on a Sunday and to be more pragmatic about life.
Personally, I didn't feel pretty good about my dad trying to change me to fit his expectations. I sometimes get this feeling of courage to speak out my heart out and preach about things I learn at church. I mixed in my life experiences with my dad's and mine and some godly principles I know about. I think speech shouldn't be said out of anger because it looks adamantly foolish. I believe that is my dad's style of speech when my dad can't seem to let go of his anger. Short tempers are of course a temporary state, but it really has an effect with me. I believe that these short tempers from people I have experienced are really special and meaningful; when I get annoyed by their one-sidedness and start speaking on a mellow end, they like to change the subject and blame me more. I think it's temporary agitation on their end and all for no good reason, but I don't see it carrying through their normal conversations in life. I could be serving as a distraction to their anger problems; I'm not quite sure about this vexing volume of personal attacks I really need to live with. I have started communicating not out of mixing fear and anger, but out of wanting to speak boldly about the truth- this method is personally good for my heart. There is no wrong in the way I speak and with me not believing in negative gossip, I believe it's all because of God's grace upon me.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
