True Feelings

The posts that I'm about to make are pretty dark and personal. The reason why I decide to take this weird course of action is because I want to be an honest columnist. The things that I'm writing about are all related to me very personally. This is an act of venting to relieve of any personal stress and anger that I may have accumulated. By focusing on the absolute truths with a quiet audience, I am basically writing things about myself and holding nothing back.

I have not killed anyone or done any drunkard's deed. I also do not envision myself ever going there. Yes, I am 200% sure that I won't ever be heading that path. I have too much pride to not to drink 100 proof alcohol and get barred by few friends. I also have too much pride in people which may be my own downfall but I don't care about it.

I am making a confession like the one you would say to a priest. I think this post may be a little too vulgar for younger audiences. There may be some mature material that you may need to advise your young ones to not to ever look at this blog again. I do not mind. I am in a state of honesty and I apologize for any inconveniences with the matters I write about and including real people on this blog. 

Let's start with my regrets. This has happened to me since I was about 13 years old- the peak was during my high school years. It gradually became slower in my college years as I became more focused about studying and success and seriously respecting women. I totally regret masturbating to porn and even sharing pornographic material with other friends. I should have known better even while I was a believer of God's Word. I had it all back then even though I lacked a lot of physical countenance to please me. I had good parents, a little sister to tease and play with, good friends to mess around with, and a great brain that wanted to serve and influence the citizens around me.

I have finally confessed the truth about that. I am still pretty angry at Christopher Kuch because he did not really explain things very clearly with me and would say that the conversation was leading no where and end it. I should have just yelled at him and let out my frustration with him. This is what I want to plan on doing to him again whenever I go around to confront him.  I want to do the same to Jarred Daniel Taing.  I have also talked to Bah - bah humbug I think his name is spelled Bae. I ended up yelling at Bae and I should have done something like that to Chris because Bae was like "Okay, okay, okay" with me.

For some reason, with the women Betty Lam and Annie Tran. I'm pretty glad that they at least did some personal decision. Even though it angers me a lot, the Bible states that women are a weaker vessel than men. I should not be having to worry about it so much. If they don't want to talk about it, I may have to yell a little even though if others want to interfere about the whole situation. It's going to be very discouraging for others to intervene as I will yell to let go of my distress. This is what I feel like doing. I seriously hate yelling but the reasons that I am about to give will make it necessary and if you want to argue I may end up yelling at you. I'm so sorry.

I thought I was respecting Darunee Lee Wong when I never really tried to step foot in her door. I had blood all over my hands and I showed it to Chris Kuch by stating "Please close the door on me and I will leave." After this statement, I think Chris Kuch totally freaked out and decided to call the cops on me but stated it in a calm manner with me. I should have yelled like crazy with him and in a frenzy and then ran away before the cops showed up. I may seriously have to yell at a few of these individuals with me talking about it so that they will pretty much see that they are not fully right. I think that's the logic behind my decision to bring upon the element of raising my voice and continuing to talk. I think this is what all people who were framed for murder should be doing, unless if you are Jesus.

I guess I succeeded in pulling the plug with having sexual feelings for Annie Tran now too. The restraining order did not ideally come from Annie Tran and Betty Lam. I'm not wording it in a tricky fashion. I think Darunee Lee's intent of the restraining order was so that there would be a multiple restraining order and that there would be one against me from coming to what they labeled as "Church property". After I stayed quiet in court, Lee sort of lied about me constantly forcing myself upon her; as the only event I recall doing this was at church. Lee had asked me to stay away from a group of people she's around at her house for a certain time period. I thought I was being reasonable in trying to resolve it by approaching the Lion's Den after agreeing to not to come for a few months. If I agreed to it even though I thought it sucks then maybe I had a high probability of being reasonable in trying to resolve an issue that did not really deal with me hurting the reputation of a group of people. Therefore with me yelling at anybody who gets in my way that started with Jarred Daniel Taing and Christopher Kuch, I believe that it's logically a sound approach. A friend of mine thought it would be funny when I proposed it and Carlos Julio personally gave me the times that they would be at Lee's house so that I could come around and make a huge spectacle which I feel like doing just to mess around a little and let go of my urges of screaming at nothing.