Motion To Vacate Restraining Order Part 7

    I don't think Annie and Betty were supposed to project themselves as being uncomfortable with me. They can't really illustrate what I told them that made them feel that way to this day. This is what they should be able to do with Chris and Jarred but it must not really be guy related. Chris and Jarred took on a role where they saw themselves as like a savior to Annie and Betty, which was based off of selfish pretenses. More like, maybe to feel like they could be an impressive person. Out of this pride, they tried to mark me for jail but if I am capable of evading it with all my full efforts then logically speaking they must have been wrong about me. I sort of care about it and had desires of compassion with them. It's marked by my willingness to feel guilt once confirmation was in. If Annie is involved with showing friendliness by touching people on the shoulder or arm then that's good that she smiled at me when I did that to Annie. Carlos sort of did not want me to touch girls in general; he felt I was going to do it to a rough amount; he's been going back and forth to avoid having to feel guilty about something. I've been able to indirectly get him to agree with me that he was not on his best behavior. I was on mine because I could have done a lot worse with Jarred and Carlos because a misunderstanding was in place. If I had truly acted out in my agitation, then this would have naturally been shown and they would be glad that I did not place Christopher Kuch in the hospital because I don't believe in doing that stuff. Sorry, I'm not trying to sound violent at all; just helping everyone to see that I'm not that different from an average person just slightly feel advantageous because the morals are modeled after Christ's sacrificial love and with good inspiration from Dr. Martin Luther King, it does not hurt any Pacific Coast judge reading this. I found out the truth, and I am okay with handling it. They really would say later that they did not know what they were doing. They just want to pretty much state they told me everything I needed to know and just did not want to reiterate it. It seems a little counteracting because if they can't reiterate it and wish to not even have brevity in speaking to me about this then why do they have to feel angry with something that does not relate to them. It's like the important people were okay with dismissing it but my heart was like not important to them. They chose to disrespect more than respect by making their decision and then demand respect from me, which is completely okay with me who would be laughing. I prove it by stating that I am a law-abiding and patient citizen. I think their lack of speech means that they can feel whatever I tell them is right. They try to go against what they know is good because they tried to convince themselves what I was doing was bad. I only naturally think that because they apologized to me about their rudeness which I accept now that they were not capable of judging the situation and because of this, it should by default testify that there is no unusual evidence. Chris felt personally threatened and decided to call the cops on me. He had been really rude to me and felt that I was taking it the wrong way; this does not mean that I should be locked up in a mental hospital as the cop had told me. Chris is not filing against me; a lady is trying to file on his behalf. It seems mystically forbidden for a social atmosphere. I'm not playing games as Chris kept accusing me of. I can say this because Chris has no restraining order against me and that a man knows how to respond if he's very certain of himself. It still works either way Chris feels that this motion may actually be valid for me, which is not to anyone's demise because I write to state that let's not make it that way. This whole thing may fall on one person and not deal with two parties regardless of the outcome and no amount of time would be fesible so it's best to let this thing drop in the Court of law to present what the majority feels is sensible. John Adams did state that the majority is always right. There's more to this then a simple call made by Chris who was not the owner of our house that we worship in. If I took part in washing dishes, bringing food for the table which was lots of fun, and interacted with people who I love to death- that is why I think this motion could be valid.

    I hope I'm dealing with a very mellow judge and someone who is capable of putting this together to realize it is more than open-ended that justice is served by just releasing this order. If you look at it from a criminal's perspective, it's just not my time yet then. Church people like Annie and Betty tend to be free willed and forgiving. I did read about different diagnostic methods of depression, and I don't think I have it because I'm still capable of controling my own emotions. I guess I speak out my mind a lot better in person and should come to an understanding that some individuals just want to stay uptight no matter what they want to do. I need to convince them that it's wrong to view an individual even Annie and Betty in this situation from a wrong angle especially when they think they are so right. I guess that's what really scares them the most that they could be wrong when they think they are so certain about something. A recent movie called "Invention of Lying" which is a sardonic film about people being blunt with one another illustrates that normal grown-ups are okay with hearing the bad news that they don't want to be missed by someone, but in this case with superficial reasoning. Setting that aside, I am like this just that I have not been able to completely understand their judgement and discernment with me. It has been unwittingly getting me to already discover answers without their confirmation. I truly and really want to be nice and cool about this whole situation. I have tested my writing and know it can be pushy, but people seem to be receptive somehow and not mind it to a back-breaking point. Sometimes people get a rough start in life. From time and time again, I have proven to myself that I can pick up on things and make things run more smoothly after a bad outing. I have been successful naturally because of my own preferences to die to myself and be willing to sympathize with the pains of others. It was the scary part that I was trying to understand more, and now that I see it, I was only normally scared about something only when I was by myself and not around others. I am doing pretty well to be able to write this long statement.

Some of the most Beautiful Pieces For Piano

I have to take a break from copy and pasting a file that keeps on making me laugh. It's not defaming or slandering or doing anything of that nature because I'm using full blunt honesty which I normally hate doing but trying because I'm a dude. If it makes them look bad, it's because your values choose to side with that and it's natural because I am 100% natural. Haha

Motion To Vacate Restraining Order Part 6

I technically submitted to the gist of the nature which was not to talk to Annie and Betty, who are not the people in question with this restraining order. This was supposed to be done at someone's rented apartment, according to the so-called labeled leaders. These self-described leaders also stated that I could vocalize myself with a simple word, "Hello" with them. Trying to utilize reasonably in this situation where they were jumping to conclusions, I thought e-mailing them along with those people involved would be a sensible way of trying to relieve the situation, along with dissolve the adrenaline that I was getting. If I could say hello to them, then a restraining order's purpose is to not talk to them. This does not add up in a sense where I have any direction. E-mailing is my attempt to make sense with them. If none of it was really violent and my frustrating comments were turning into some off-humor, then my adrenaline is definitely not a dangerous part of me but will make me appear to be rash enough to be okay with imparting likeness or neutrality. I am definitely glad that the courts will confirm that none of my writing is violent. My embedded frustration that they thought I had was actually a joke because I related it to be just nothing and something I could still function in life efficiently with. The alleged comment that God would punish those who speak and lie about others in private was actually related to a sermon I heard once. I am pretty happy in my faith already dealing with Christ. Not that I cannot function or detect people who are prone to have temper tantrums, such as  a yelling police man who revealed that he was mad with me beforehand. The message someone felt uncomfortable about is actually only directed at Chris, but I sent it to a multitude of the guys. Annie and Betty are young women who are not related to Chris at all. Chris does have a relation with other guys, such as Jarred, Golf, and Chai. That is why I forwarded that copy to only Chris' male peers and leaders. The main people are Chris, Jarred, and Golf. They failed to show up to court to give witness. Annie, Betty, Chai showed up and I had little relation to them with this restraining order. Therefore, this whole restraining order should be nullified.

If they were the ideal and impartial people who said they wanted to help which they implied to me in the beginning. I think they would state something like this:

    I am concerned for you, I can in no way help you over the internet, but I can guess that you spend a     lot of time alone thinking to yourself. Which is fine, but complete isolation is not good for you. Go     spend some time with a close friend that you are comfortable with so you dont spend all of your time     thinking. And start working on your social skills.

    You are probably scaring these girls you are talking to online, stop before they take some sort of     legal action against you.

In response to my full caring and at least a little bit of ecstatic laughing, I would now comfortably reply on these lines:

    I actually used to know these girls from a church I went out to. Things went really out of hand     because I did not really say anything about it. I thought they were all being nice and trying to reach     out to me. What makes me really mad is that they were trying to change me into someone I did not     want to be. I felt really forced and insulted at the same time. I guess I was really selfish at the time     only with feeling insulted. Other than that, I was really agitated about them doing something that     could potentially be bad for me. I don't know how I'm going to act, but by being the best I can be I     don't plan on stalking them. By visiting a certain area they are there and I think around people I do     really well, except that when I'm really distracted with adrenaline it gets really hard for me to be nice     because I have a tendency to yell really badly and then feel bad right away. If I feel bad then I end     up leaving them alone for good with a purpose. Over all, I think this whole thing is about them     wanting to be be in a relationship. I just never popped them the question because I was afraid of     rejection and more than that, I would feel really embarrassed feeling a rejection coming out of those     girls because I just didn't see them worth any class. Maybe, it's just kind to ask them if this is     dealing with a relationship even though I don't see a forecast with them and go from there. I'm man     enough to handle a confirmed rejection from some girls that I don't really see as my type but sort of     attracted to. I got some laughs and just a tad of appreciation thinking about having sexual relations     with them.

Motion To Vacate Restraining Order Part 5

I think my posts used to scare some people or made some people angered for no real reason that they would not want to bother to explain in a through manner. It's not that I wanted to offend some people. This formation of a psuedo-mob seems to be historically verifiable. I have been making some money because I have repeated surfers on my blog. To give the judge a chance to reflect his decision, if the judge has enough time here is the URL for my blog, http://www.academyofscud.blogspot.com! The questions that I ask may be so annoying to them because they don't know how to answer and still believe that I am not deserving of what it is that they can't really reveal to me. There is nothing wrong with asking relevant questions of my accusation because I thought I was going to be informed. I believe there is a right to be informed and is in their best interests to express their right of the First Amendment. The plaintiff and the ones who are responsible for letting this happen with me would probably like to think that it's mean but I should just keep writing because if someone is brave enough to read my writing they will probably let it influence themselves. This writing is probably so uncomfortable that some people need to disassociate themselves and act a little different around me then they normally would. I am not trying to suck up to anybody here. I'm just trying to make sense of this adrenaline flow I've finally understood and adjusting to it for the best results. I just need to be committed and that should work. I did a lot of "He says" deal outside of court. Anything dealing with legal matters, I let it be a lot of "She says" which implies my only female lawyer's confusion and frustration about this event. I would like to testify that relieving this situation will be better for a woman's image in general. My female lawyer was very defensive of me and really used legal arguments that I believe were not really prepared. I don't think I look bad at all with anything I do, but seems to bring so much indirect pain with unresolved feelings that do not really relate to me. I did not threaten, insult the girls, or abuse them. I simply stated what looked to be a reasonable thing to say. I have stated some things that were negative and provoking laughter but only to relieve myself of any frustration and doing it at a low level. I do not believe in using curse words or highly insulting words to hurt someone's feelings. I would rather use the truth in a full manner and wish them the best in dealing with it. They are supposed to be God fearing people, so I did not mean to imply that God was already working to punish them by pruning the membership and currently stunted with no multiple services on a Sunday.  They basically stymied and made things go to their favor. It was difficult to try to understand them because things did not click because they naturally do not represent the feelings of just one individual. I tried my best to listen and be considerate and cooperate, and it looked it was more about impressing them instead of really listening to them.  If they were supposed to be helpful, they would have given me a call about what to expect, as they all were already prepared what to state and I was not informed what was going to happen. The lead clergy man of a church had mentioned that I would expect a call from them to inform me of what the structure was going to be, but it had not happened. To their minds, I deserve a restraining order, to be cut off, and to be put in jail. They had repeatedly stated that by visiting them practically would land me in jail because that's what they said would happen. They will say that they did, but they add all of those events after as to try to cover it up. They will mention that they did not have to call me and that I still should have understood them. As a result, I am filing a side order which is to exercise my right to be informed. However, the police man did not send me to jail and did not really take a favorable side with me at the same time because he was in a bad mood for some reason. He showed it by stating that I was really ticking him off. If I must follow Jarred, Chris, Chai, Annie, and Betty then they would send me to jail even though I did not go to jail for doing something that they told me not to do multiple times and repeatedly in a sensible manner. Even though I do not understand everything and seems like they were exaggerating, I pretty much submitted to them already by honoring the gist of what needed to be done in their minds. It makes sense now with my model of how they are just trying to avoid having to feel guilt in an indirect manner. This may be apparent by them mentioning that they do not want to talk about it. They may try to naturally offset anything I say because it's in their nature to basically disagree with anything even if it's already sensible. I see a relation with all in them, in that there is no Facebook connection as it was once there. However, another person who people consider to be a leader at that church is Golf. He was involved in some type of exaggeration and was a witness and pretty active person, just that he sort of knew that the situation was not worth getting too carried over. Golf practically still has a connection with me on Facebook. If I did okay with one person with obviously someone who overreacted in this group with like views where they forced upon charge with me, then I believe that I have a shot of a domino effect which would be beneficial for everyone. I guess I cannot really handle a restraining order that does not seem like I deserve it. It's okay to talk about it because being blunt and revealing motives before letting something bad happen is good.

    I think that I have a lot of good people in my life. Sometimes, it can feel like for me that is too hard to reflect on what life is all about because I guess I can be a little deep down nervous inside and then feel like some of those people were starting to harass me, it's a really hard thing to stay calm inside for only a certain period. After that, it's understanding and resolving the situation which is considerably a normal human interaction. They did think I would need to get some professional help; I am not pretty sure if they said this because they felt like providing me with bad advice. I was told by someone who was a key factor that she did not have anything against me, but that she was sent outside by her leaders but she did not get really forced into talking to me that day. I recall her smiling quite a bit. She also had a smile, pretty cute concern, and seemed less than resilient about me approaching her, so I think she would have advocated a restraining order for a different purpose. It was because one of her ambitions with me may have not been met.

Motion To Vacate Restraining Order Part 4

The first time I went to discuss about this matter, I was largely unaware of the proceedings because a lot of my time was being taken up. I already have a restraining order from a person I associated with awhile ago. He felt that I was a terrorist and then later joined the army to be shipped out to Iraq. I really feel compassionate for him because I did not know how much he really misses his dad. I wrote that his dad had died of cancer and that he was jokingly not smart for leaving the family he grew up with and then coming to the West Coast. It is a little devestating to me that Washington, a name given to a man, would ponder so much about a restraining order on his birthday which is the Fourth of July- that is when he tried to issue the restraining order. I had filed a counter TRO at Washington after I received it shortly and forgot about my troubles with him. I did not even know that it would appear on my court record that the TRO even went through. He must have showed up to court at the time, which I did not even appear at. The judgement was based on me not showing up to court because I thought we were still friends even though he has obviously some negative periods with himself. He had told me some very intimate details about him that would really take the shine out of his life, and I'm not going to do that out of respecting what I want to make a popular ideology, which is to avoid any speculation that it's gossip. I do try to talk honestly in private about my concerns and directly with certain people at the same time, so that's just being me all the time and not trying to be bad. I have polished a lot of my writing, and now can speculate that I was scattering thoughts all over and burning up my frustration on many different plates. I now want to combine all my efforts into one and then release everything. I will be the very best person I can be because I now have the right emotions working with me. In a way, it sort of favors me to be someone who people think I will go to jail but in actuality, do not have enough evidence. When I asked for it, they simply avoided talking to me. They had stated they already gone over it several times with me, as their excuse. It also felt like they were adding on new things to discuss how I was being a bad person, so I thought it would make sense to believe that they really did not go over it with me countless times. One of the main thesis in this discourse is if anyone has had a good experience with being around someone they know and hanging out in a one-on-one fashion, then they would really advocate the idea that I've been neutral with what I have always been doing. They have never pointed out anything bad with me. There is also probably a multiple amount of sub-thesis comments, just that I do not really have time to point them all out. This is not a rehearsed written sample from me. Then, they put a restraining order on me which is making me laugh so hard now. I think it's good to get this thing off just for the sake of helping them to improve to improve the moderating effect of their invented religion which says that they should have been humble in the first place. Maybe this publicity will generate more visitors to a very well-structured church that is a place of worshipping God, where the true believers really do know Him. I am also acting around others in a convinced manner who respond positively to me with this pretty factual comment. Most people don't care about being ethical if it does not deal with them. I totally wonder if some voting plaintiffs who are not directly written on this thing will actually vote and support justice in the future elections. Some females who have psychological degrees may feel a little resilient about marketing over unclarity and leave it to the defacto standard. There are movers and shakers in creating it. I believe in being ethical regardless of how others want to project their decisions after being mad. I hope the best is influenced with what some people can term my behavior only on this restraining order as being neutral and totally laughing when people think there is a demise that happened to me.

    I am really concerned about the others who did this to me. They were practically abusing the practicality of what a restraining order is supposed to be used for. It's normally used for people who are violent, not for people you don't want to be friends with anymore. Besides, they communicated with me and were not supposed to e-mail me with requests if they thought I was being violent. A saying goes, "You do not negotiate with terrorists." They were being hypocritical when they stated they would not negotiate with me. There are other methods of dealing with their own pain of not wanting to be friends, if I was never being violent. If it was not even in my intention to be violent, then there was no reason for me to even make the attempt of stalking someone who was not even in my grasp of desire. I was following up for clarification not just following a girl because I wanted to chase after all of them. I have also heard that chasing after a girl is not really supposed to result in a restraining order if she does not like you and you do not repeatedly go to her throughout the whole week most of the time that result in skipping your studies and work. Maybe this implies that she did like me and that the men were trying to protect them by being psuedo-friends with the girls. This is where they totally abused the usage of a restraining order and attempted to make me look bad. I think my emotions are not really affected that bad, but want to serve in the way of giving back and providing at least some accountability to the Court and hopefully allow the judge to be compassionate whenever this situation arises. For a younger sensitive man acting as the defendant who does not really want to open up and then does things and trying to save the embarrassment of the plaintiff. I was dealing with very sensitive men who probably really care about it if comments were stated negatively about their appearance and could not voice their opinions with me very effectively. I attribute it to them being slightly feminine at the time and that they have cowardice in filing a restraining order with me very directly. If one of the main comments were directed only at them and someone tries to state that she should have received that message and the Court should be concerned about it and that the main reason for having a restraining order then the men should have showed up to court the first time to give witness. There was error on their end. I needed a lot of time to recollect (filing motion) because this restraining order is dealing with more than one person who is not related to me as being a former significant other at the moment. This is all about keeping history from repeating itself- that is my main worry.

Motion To Vacate Restraining Order Part 3

I felt like I was being controlled and did not really want to follow suit. This is because I associate with a faith and someone's picture of my faith is that it includes submitting to them because they claim to be leaders over everything dealing with my life. The person went to say that I should submit to authority, which is doing everything that they say. Therefore, I think threatening someone with a restraining order for not being manageable does not seem to be the perfect fit reason for a restraining order. I remember that the last time I was battling at court to let go of a default restraining order for not showing up, the other guy said nothing but started showing up at other events to say hi to me. It seemed very possible to get the restraining order off even though everybody thought it was impossible. The judge had said that he could not legally give any advice but implied that he could and even the deputy told me to get a lawyer. I just felt like I was being totally controlled, but nevertheless I submitted temporarily which was about two-in-a-half months and did not try to set foot on the person's door. The demanded program was to be completed in three months. I thought rounding it up would be reasonable. For awhile, without making any attempt to barge right in the door, I did drop off another person to the house because he had expressed interest in showing up. I thought it would be good to get him exposed to a natural environment of people because of his rather vexing and meaningless gossip and because I just wanted to help. I have not been able to follow up with him because of this restraining order being a distraction. I did not complete the full program because I had disagreed with it. It took them a long while to submit a restraining order, but only on the catalyst of a phone call to the police. The police officer was very biased about the situation and made unfair propositions with me. He really did not signify being the city's finest. He had attempted to arrest me and applied handcuffs, but knew he couldn't take me to jail so he had asked someone to put a restraining order on me. He even lied about me hiding in the bushes because if I had hid there, he would not have found me. The bushes are also not part of the property of the whole apartment complex that wants to file a restraining order. I heard from the person I dropped off that the police officer had joked about permissibly ending my life, if I ever set foot on the apartment again. It's really peculiar to me on the night of the phone call to the police because the walls are not super thick and that other neighbors would have come out with the apartment complex doors being only about 2-and-a-half yards across each other. A photo of the complexes would prove its proximity. I can have someone else go take it for me, but will save it to grace and let it be up to someone who feels bothered about the details to do something about it. I live in a street that could be termed as narrow (just ask Annie and Jarred because they rode over once with a very long-term good friend who tries to be cool and nice) and the apartment complex pavement is much more narrow. The opposition may state that I'm complaining so much but my reason is that I believe there's enough in everyone to agree to disposing this restraining order; if I am able to file a petition then it may be very well possible.

    Making a loose connection about the world being in a crisis, I think I can help by donating a gripload. I sort of have a passion of making a large earning to donate to wonderful organizations that would support needy people. I think I file this because I'm hoping to generate enough interest and encourage a good outreach to find a cure to any crisis. It's a struggle but hard work should not be in vain and any distractions like this restraining order should be extracted.

Motion To Vacation Restraining Order Part 2

I am sending over multiple legal senders with their signatures to show how serious I am about applying the rules of the legal engagement. This is to avoid speculation that the plaintiff's defense would be just to not show up by trying to display an illusion that I was not being victimized. The reason why I make the only one last appeal to court to exercise a privilege in the law is to ensure everyone's peace and security. I realize how frustrated I was which was not very much compared to some real criminals and how the situation was going nowhere for the party who tried to initiate something with me. Even though things can appear so frustrating, I figure that there is no need for them to be so frustrated about it. I have also been hoping that everything that I have done to try to appease the situation would help them see that I have been totally trying to mean well about everything. The perceived ranting is more about trying to joke around a little, even though it can be perceived as being mean. I really do not ever have to insult anyone's behavior in a very highly negative manner that locks up someone's freedom; furthermore, I never persistently engaged in this behavior. In addition, I have not harassed the plaintiff in any matter that would ensure a restraining order if Annie or Betty were not in existence. What I want to get out of coming to court is that the arguments that they made with me felt really forced upon me. I did not want to agree with them at the time, but tried to stay mellow about it while thinking that I only had to do at least do a minimal amount of effort to show that I was willing to submit and be helpful about everything. I want to ensure that they are being clear in their personal statements and having the judge preside over it to give an objective remark on what is legal and really is not. The problem with this incident is that I feel that I have to make a lot of charitable efforts to relieve tension for everyone and that they seem to have failed with me. The police man failed to arrest me and place a police report on me; in addition he had stated that he wanted a restraining order on me just to get away with it at the time that I really yelled about his personal harassing remarks. I was already outside and on the verge of leaving for home, until the police men detained me to question about my psychological history; I guess they took great interest in trying to do something with me and causing the worshiping believers to not even notice the police men doing this outside an apartment building. My actions felt like a lot of high intensity and energy, like the type that an officer would use on a criminal to invoke his rights of placing a dangerous human under civilian arrest. The police officer had pulled a weapon out in front, after making himself known that I was making him very angry. He said not to stare back while I was looking at his badge, but I think he was worried that I would run and hunt someone down. I also realized that I turned back and walked very slowly to collectively take in my thoughts, like I was really relaxed about it. Then, the officers told me to speed up which was actually very humorous to me. What I also want to ensure out of this one-time deal only court session is that I want to help minimize local government having to intervene over useless assumptions. The judge stated "Only three years is the maximum period" for my intentions of submitting to court. He also stated "In the middle" and started nodding to all the requests to what everyone mentions as "The petitioner." I need to know if they want to pursue any longer charges because the petitioner was not directly involved with any conflict with me. This will inadvertently add in more time to go appearing at court and may distract others temporarily by having to go in to testify from their own personal situations. The messages that were used and presented to the Court are targeted for someone else, each time. I actually really respect the wishes of the petitioner just that confusion has been expressed by her and that she may be trying to hold me from legally pursuing after someone just to mingle with very privately. Unfortunately, the environment only permits me to talk in a safe and confidential location which is at the gathering place. If it was at a restaurant, even if I was not invited I would have still tried to find the final terms. I think the terms are not very important in the legal manners and should be expressed in human words at initial counter-interaction. It is to do what they ask and to believe it's right. However, it's hard to visualize for me how they are moving on and need to pursue a good direction without changing or compromising any of their values. It could be very easy for the petitioner to be around the people I am only interested in making contact with. A person named Jarred has blocked my messages which is my only way of communicating with him and he is not pursuing after any legalities because of his involvement and my clever schemes of writing. The only way is to talk to him and state that I agree and want to block him back, if he thinks that's right and ask him if it's correct to do that to him. I have been very receptive to the petitioner's email that was sent to my inbox after the permanent restraining order was in effect. It had a positive light of being together for some reason. Of course, I did not write back even though I have legally tried to discuss about her through text and in transition about stating what's wrong through someone who is considerably called their leaders. This is clearly not trying to directly communicate with her through someone else. I have also been given a little many invitations to come out to church, thanks to a pretty bright girl who wants to understand the good gift of life and the many challenges dealt in overcoming them. The people who have charged me have allowed me to be open with them and did not exhibit signs of feeling threatened when I followed them around temporarily in a closed-door building with people laughing at me following the girl who spoke on the podium at a church just to get information that I felt I had the right to get but they could not regurgitate in the misunderstanding. This girl who spoke on the podium at a church and tried to educate the people in a closed-door building where I exhibited signs of peacefulness with the majority is allegedly the petitioner. Overall, I was very fatigued about having to deal with this incident and with a lot of things from the past that were haunting me. I am now recovered to the point of wanting to be hard working and still possessing good concerns that show that I'm willing to become more balanced and to express myself without giving anyone the feeling that I'm trying to force them to change.

    I did not continually harass anyone. After finding an agreement and satisfaction with the presumably interested and smiling girl, I managed to leave the girls alone. I was more focused on talking to the guys at the time who said I had some problems with the girls. They were still being unreasonable but I really tried and even came very close, if it was not for a distracted friend who was mad about me not taking him to Las Vegas, wrapped his arms around me and then started panicking. I know how to deal with him and reply to his unclear and unintentionally abusive remarks. I will be able to answer all doubts or accusations with the figurehead representative in court now. A guy a few years older than me, Chris basically said that getting a restraining order would be a possibility if I did not abide to their plans. I think they meant to file a disorderly conduct, but was really too inhibited to think when he felt like a crisis was occurring and acted out of panic. Jarred and Chris had tears running down their eyes when I spoke to them while they were waiting for the police. They did not tell me to go home so that the police would not have to take me to jail. I stood next to them when the police had arrived. I was ready to go and meant no conflict at the time. However, the situation provoked itself to worse lengths based upon the bad reasoning of some of the men and women who were against me. In addition, Chris and Jarred and the police men did not show up the court hearing. It's on record that only Betty wanted to testify against me even though Annie and Chai were about to with me. It seems like with the least bad things I did to people, these people just wanted to overreact about something and not let me help them to overcome the situation while I was attempting trivial pursuit and friendship. Therefore, I am ready to get Annie, Betty, and someone else back on my Facebook profile again. I will get them on first before I get Chris and Jarred on the Facebook profile. The only way I won't be able to do this is if they leave the church or move somewhere or get married and then leave. Furthermore, I don't feel like hiring anyone to track them if they resort to doing those things.

Motion To Vacate Restraining Order Part 1

The police man found me walking towards my car which is facing away from the apartment complex. As long as I had not bothered anyone after coming back a second time and no one was outside the building in particular, I was on the verge of leaving the premises again until the police man had decided to detain me on the parallel pavement which people are encouarged to walk on for possibly taking a break to exercise. There were witnesses who pointed with their fingers that I was walking away from the apartment building, and the witnesses had repetitiously pointed that I was doing that. I was in the police man's back seat and placed under arrest when I had noticed he was talking to them. I believe the police man wanted to get me for something out of taking vengeance to his own hands but really could not and had to let me go because there was nothing his forceful behavior could get out of it. I believe that the police man was just in a bad mood with me winning out the battle in yelling at him over his own might at yelling at me and harrassing me with rude comments and then thinking that I was insane at the same time. No phone call was made to the police man again; he just came on his own behalf, placed me under arrest momentarily by using hand cuffs and then released me without even booking me at the police station. The reason why I did not bother them again by ringing the door bell was because I overheard outside the thin walls a really attractive and nurturing voice over there and it just repelled me from doing it again and I walked away and have no regrets about the decision. (The voice definitely does not belong to Annie or any of the accusers.) I also had placed a phone call to Jared to let him know that I was coming which he did not answer. 

I feel like it is highly probably for me to reconcile with lives of many people if this restraining order is taken off, compared to the relationship I have with the accuser. She did say "Thanks" when I came to visit her and let her know that I was never going to come to her house again after the incident with the police. She also did say that she did not want to file against me and that to my knowledge, a restraining order is used for more personal purposes. The cop also did say that he was going to follow me until I hit the freeway again, but he left me when I went to refuel my car. He opened the door on me and forced me to start my engine and then he turned on the headlights for me and then shut the door so heavily. It seems like he could do this in an abusive relationship. Oh well, I don't mind after all but I did yell at the cop after not being able to withstand a series of taunts of how I needed to go to a mental hospital and take medication for it. It really irritated me so much and wanted that to stop. I was accused of fighting my own friend. (We are poker buddies who play for only a dime and is not illegal because cops do it all the time! It has affected him from showing up to the house where the accuser is at. I have also heard from him that the group at the accuser's house over there has played Texas Hold'em with some pennies and is possibly more than just ten cents.) The police arrived, but did not charge me with any disorderly conduct. I was accused of following around the plaintiff. This occurred in a closed door building at a safe environment where people were acknowledging what I was doing was being humorous. In my opinion, I believe that the few pastors were laughing at me thinking that I was questionably pursuing after her. The plaintiff conducted some personal meetings with me and directed personal attacks at me. She was clearly never harassed by me at any given moment in time. I had asked her if she felt reproached by me and she denied me doing anything wrong to her. I personally need to know if the accuser wants to deny any of these statements while being under oath in the Court of Law! Even Jarred who was the most antagonistic said that I could approach the plaintiff to talk about anything with her. Jarred wants to move on and agrees to my thinking that he was pretty out of line during that time. I have spoken to him on the phone even though he blocked most of my lines. His main reason of thinking was that I was using up his minutes or text messages, but I know he's being dishonest about that. Therefore, his thinking is unclear and I believe that he should never really have involved himself with me in this issue or allowed the one girl in this world to put a restraining order on me and after having done nothing to her very seriously. This is so humorous in a way that a civil restraining order could take place and not be used for what its original intention was supposed to be used for. I just want to clear this up and set it straight to make sure the law is being used in an objective and moral manner. The speculation was that I was harassing other women (e.g. Annie and Betty) and not the plaintiff. This was pointed out in writing. I was also written to by the plaintiff after the restraining order was in place. I do not know why I cannot reply back to her and am very confused by the gestures she took upon with me. I clearly did not say anything wrong or evil and choose not to be angry over this incident. This restraining order affects my relationship with Annie and Betty. It also affects my relationship with other people at a church. The only way I see for this restraining order to continue happening is if the plaintiff decides to no longer consider herself as a spiritual leader who can dictate whatever she thinks is right and wrong even though it clearly interfered with my life. I had some nervous breakdowns but they no longer exist with me that much as I have learned to accept that I'm not very attractive in appearance and will try to improve upon it. That's why wearing a suit with a cool hat seems pretty cool at the court. (Hats off while the judge is entering the court.) I should really lose some additional pounds and gain some muscle without trying to be lazy about obtaining what I want.

Trauma From Anxiety

My dad has brought up a pretty interesting and sometimes depressing scenario. It's that as you get older, your mind does not get that much sharper as it used to. I remember he proposed that you should specialize in one thing to make a living off of it and be pretty much the best because that's a very good thing.

I listened briefly to Tiger Wood's interview on a sports channel- he stated that he apologized for his actions because it's what the people he let down deserved to hear and showed absolute sincere regret for his personal problems and expressed confidence over having fixed his problems through treatment. The true question in my mind is if the car accident sort of dealt with his wife being mad at him. Oh well, he stated it's a private thing and he was handling it normally. SNL made fun of Tiger Woods by making a parody sketch about him getting beaten up by his wife. It was pretty funny and interesting to watch.

Back to realizing myself, I need to hustle a little more now and rebound with all aspects of my life...

This whole issue of anxiety or nervous depression is something that I need to work on by just reading more. I think reading is curing a lot of my own things that I would call a disorder. I mean there's some good material to stay focused on. Personally, this struggle is so much greater for me that I really want to stay on the positive side of things, no matter how much people make me mad.

Ideas of Investing

Sometimes, it really bites to go to work and have no real passion for it. I mean we could literally do something just to pay the bills but if you don't really like the job and have to compromise then I think it's doing too much. I've never really heard about people needing to go to a therapist to talk about their work turmoils. I guess it may really be pretty common.

Maybe the reason why people decide to invest is because they have an ideal life-style in mind. We are all going to age someday and will have to possibly support our grandchildren financially.

I think the exciting part about investing is the idea of giving back to society. I myself have associated with many churches in the past, some were pretty bad whereas others were really uplifting and truly great! The current one that kicked me out over nothing is not so hot. I'm going to state that the church is Hope Church Ministries in Los Angeles. They feature some really small groups. The leadership there really winded up not doing well. Well, it's pretty understandable in my standpoint so they can't really get me for thinking that I am defaming them because I am stating the truth to the best of my ability.

Okay, so now that my heart is really back on fire I'll try not to mention anymore about some of the people attending that church. It just turns out that I'm only bothered by one person out of the fake, self-righteous colleagues who turned against me. I should literally be laughing about it whenever I think about it now- that's what I envision myself doing when I'm successful. I'm going to to quit talking about it on this blog now. It's time to move on to achieve greater things. Overall, laughter is such a healthy thing to do. I don't mind people laughing at me for any reason because I just grew out of it and know that some beautiful people out there would not laugh over any calamities- not like I'll take advantage like a selfish pig in a wheelchair...no no that's not me.   

Man, I Really Hate Yelling

In my opinion, yelling is not a very appreciated thing and should be avoided as much as possible. The only incidences I see it working is if you have to alert someone from far away or if you have something positive to mention.

Since I signed up to be a baseball coach, seriously I'm going to now be coaching a league which should be a lot of fun for me.  It looks like I may have to raise my voice to direct the boys out on the field. I feel like being pretty motivational and giving it my all in helping. I don't care about the negatives that are associated with it; I just really see a lot of fun from doing it. I think habits are really hard to end and Carlos Julio just keeps on wanting to stick with his own and having pride in it.

I feel pretty sheepish from having called up Julio over and over again before he left for visiting his friends and then yelling at him. I guess I was just in the mood for not dealing with any of his bad remarks. It's pretty crazy that he's able to pick up every five minutes that I call him, after he hangs up. Instead of trying to be nice, I was being very crass and it pretty much is the same response from Julio. For my personality, with yelling so much I'm eventually going to stop because the law of economic satisfication is going to be in effect and it's going to be more costly for me to keep on yelling. If I act really nice, then it becomes a reinforcing behavior for me on a personal end. Because I acted really nice and everybody was acting really callous about the situation, by me yelling it's pretty much releasing all this stored energy inside me and forcing them to accept my condition. Overall, they don't really come out as looking like great friends but I'm personally really bothered by it and need to confront them about their behavior in the past. The present situation looks like the same as the past situation for me; that's why I'm yelling. I don't plan on having anything long-term with them now; it's about time to force control to go in my direction and leave behind animosity, violence, and stupidity. 

Life In The Gym

Sometimes, in the middle choices become easier to deal with when you relax and focus objectively on what the other person is feeling. I currently really have this state of mind now and seriously can deal with the other people's dumb decisions with me now. I'm ready to move on and feel like condoning every action  while knowing that what they have done as a person but some evil acts of desperation appear to be more stupid than I thought. These people are the ones I talked about- the group that's small enough for me to be able to name them individually. It's a good thing, I'm not bothered by 100s of people because I would be so baffled then and be like okay, status quo is in effect and that I should seriously live a good one in observance to God. Wait these people are religious and it seems like I'm in the borderline right now and proving they were pretty nutty about something.

It's a good thing I'm laughing about it and making yourself stable when you are angry inside is not really that hard than you think- that's what I was going through. I really need to just relax and enjoy the clear blue sky and the beaches that are around here and also a walk in the park. I don't really feel like being paparazzi too and these impulsive feelings were just my hypochondriac thoughts. They, the religious people who did not know what they were doing, were somewhere else outside the ballpark when it all occurred.

Love and Relationships

I'm pretty much writing about a topic that is really broad and that whatever I decide to put in here, it may not even be that significant. I'm just going to reflect on what I know here and seriously test out the waters with this post. I'm also going to reflect a little comfortably on what I really need to state here.

Overall, I think pornography will really contribute to killing your desires of having a normal sex life and furthermore, cloud your mind into accepting fornication. I don't think it's really that appropriate to talk about my sexual struggles on this blog here, as of yet.

About writing about Annie, Betty, Chai, Christopher Kuch, Darunee Lee, Golf, and Jarred Taing, it's pretty crazy that I typed away with that and tried to be honest to the best of my ability. With Washington, I went through a really sensitive time and have managed to get over his nastiness now. I knew that I was missing somewhere in my mannerism; I was just lacking and trying to force myself to look down upon my own self. It's just too hard for me to do it and I just started getting all worked up and would yell at this one guy who would bother me with his statements. He even bothers his own twin brother and seriously agitates his family sometimes, just by making ridiculous statements. In other words, I guess he's just really self-absorbed and does not want to be humble about some situations.  I personally think laughter is very good in that case and just being a little persistent to the best of your ability. I think those guys I wrote about might really be lacking in something and that's why they acted so weird about something. They did make a big deal out of nothing. The best decision for me would definitely be to stay out of their way and that's what I'm going to do for at least some time. I'm going to make it a surprise this time because the other times I stated that I was coming and told them to tell me not to come on the e-mail. I kept on saying that I would come just to let them know heads up but they still ended up acting really nasty.

I don't know if there's going to be any automatic denial for me to hear about. First of all, my decision is not to date Annie,  Betty, or Lee for a long-term courtship; I honestly don't really feel right about it. They did choose to block me on Facebook and chose to not even read my comments and probably threw away all the cards I wrote to them. I know that I can sometimes write pretty well even though I'm bothered and that the times they don't like it, it's just because they are just feeling overwhelmed about something and want to naturally avoid something which reflects to me a selfish nature. Maybe, I myself am selfish and I'm only saying maybe and it takes a lot of personal energy to regret that you could be wrong.

I sort of see this pattern that the path they took was really strange and they basically don't really have all that greatness in their personalities. It's like they really lack the ability to care and to be of a slightly flawless structure. It's like I could really mess with this situation a lot and even be bold and stupid while feeling so nervous and quiet and forgetting about some things I said in writing. I think in general people don't like to feel angry about something and I'm holding back on it and then sensing how some people who are seriously unhappy could be doing badly.

Overall, I don't really mind missing the good bonds that I felt and then having listened to all the laughter. I would call up Julio who was at Lee's house and hear all the laughter. Afterward, I remember how I kept on calling over and over again which was part of my angry response. What I said was not angry because I'm good at concealing my emotions and sounding like a normal person. They assume too much and too badly and it's pretty much making me laugh now and the raising and yelling of their tone is something that's making me laugh even more now and that the way they act is also starting to make me laugh underneath. Everything that they're doing is starting to make me laugh now. Hearing their laughter including Julio or feeling anything that they're doing is just not really bothering me anymore. With Julio, I guess I should work on not trying to be so bothered by him and literally laugh at his comments and then spill my own opinions. Why not? It's a free environment to laugh at offensive statements made in a circle of a guy who grew up angry about being mistreated when in actuality, he really was not bad off. Julio did talk a lot about his dad giving him problems and was accusing women in a disrespectful manner which made me really angry and made me want to deck him at times. My opinions have to be stated with me acknowledging that I'm uncomfortable about being angry and that I need to just state things to create a peaceful environment. Things may be so boring afterward, but it's a really good thing to do. I've really grown up with this situation and think I could just lead all of them. Supposedly, Julio may actually be someone I am called to preach to. I guess I'm old enough to reflect the stupidity of staying stressed out or angry over something that I know I'll forget about and those feelings are not enough for me to try to pass a restraining order as Lee did with me.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

I guess my plan is to really finish off the certifications to get in the door for becoming an I.T. professional. I think I remember hearing from someone who said that he had all this experience but wished that he had a Computer Science degree to back it up. I believe that he also mentioned having passed some exams and gained an interview to get a job.

With a situation having made me mad, I just pretty much need to deal with it and still focus even better through the distraction. I'm glad that I have a loving God to pray to and who I believe in very much. My sensitive emotions are now starting to really normalize, and I'm understanding that patience is a key part of humility and self-control. I'm conceiving that I am going to take some certification tests and ignore my mom's concerns that you don't need to study for some tests to get a job. I'm actually willing to start laughing at people's concerns for me over some things or if they are making very hyped up statements and I happen to be around to hear them.

One of my friends told me that life is all about testing and explained to me that for some jobs he had to take a test to examine his placement. When I come to think about it, all the jobs that have been hiring have required some type of testing. I think I'm going to go for a MCSA, MCSE, A+/Network+, and Cisco. They are very costly exams but with the I.T. experience that my dad will confirm for me and another exclusive organization that's helping me get my foot in the door, I stand a very high probability of making it if I go through with it. This will mean a 100 K job for me and many investment opportunities. With the money, I'm definitely imagining on tithing that amount and wow, it's going to be a lot!

Hit the road Jack!

This is a very interesting song that I think might have related to my situation just a tad. A girl who told me she had absolutely nothing against me ended up placing a restraining order on me because she thought I was coming onto girls too strongly. Man, she wrote me this funny e-mail about how I was now kicked out of a small church.

What a Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong

This is a really beautiful song. I remember growing up and listening to it on a commercial during my elementary school years. Over 21 million hits on youtube, wow!

Funny dog costumes

I guess today I'm just getting ready to go attend a pretty good church. The church features a pretty biblical based church and really focuses on mainly teaching the Bible with fresh and inspirational and foundational insights. The Bible contains concepts that can really confound the world because of the heavy reliance of faith in Jesus that you need to possess to allow it work in your life.

For my personal life, I'm practically trying to find a long-term job that I know how to manage and then on the side do some more studying related to my passion so I could have a better quality of living.

I really appreciate the fun that's out there. I pretty much live in a much more quiet neighborhood with very good quality housing. I'm amazed by the new stuff that's being introduced in my life. I guess humor in a good sense does work out after all.

The Stranger Effects Of Living With Kooky People

Today, I'm starting to realize that I need to start off with some traditional roots and then work my way back up the financial side of things. I think that it's wonderful to have a home where my parents worked really long hours and tried their very best and then started to make some form of living to supplement a pretty healthy middle-class family.

I feel that I climbed myself into a hole today. I really need to stop going after things that are filled with nonsense and really do things that are more worthwhile and won't really burn me out now. I feel that I really treasure my time to myself for some reason. Being a wanderer from a far-off land and then coming in to trying to situate myself, I can imagine I had some struggles but they were really good for me after all. The experiences that count the most to me have been very positive and I should be happy about those things.

I guess writing like this has become a pretty interesting hobby now, and I feel so enlightened by it. A little change to my blog is that I'm going to try to incorporate some interesting images or not so hot ones. I'm going to try at least one image now to make a little steady change. I don't what it is with me and posting funny or strange images now =). It seems pretty cool to copy some of those pictures and just post it while typing about something.

Controling Myself and Pursuing the Right Way

The troubles of living in this world are not really that bad in the U.S. All over the world, I feel that there are countless people who don't have the comforts like we do and that there's something we could do about it. Giving it my all over something that I perceive as good and love is something that comes from having passion. I should apply this with excellence and literally allow the good forces that live amongst us to influence me.

I guess this whole job factor thing has been relatively difficult to figure out. I pretty much ate up a lot of my opportunities that I found online and sometimes wish that I could go back to them. I need to move forward now and regard those opportunities that I had in the past as lost now and need to focus on what I could do now. There is no permanent damage for me on my end, and my energy level is pretty much ready to surpass anything that is inferior on the long run. My anger is something I am ready to fully control and to not let it control me. Oh well, I realize its effects and the stress that it amounts to for me but I feel that there are stuff that torment people for not being able to relax and it's pretty ideal to me for establishing a successful mindset.

A Funny Lesson To Learn

Rule Number ???- Respect peace even if it means kissing your enemy. =)

Attracting Negative Attention

I finally came to my senses to understand that everything I've done in the past to receive two restraining orders were not really that bad. My problem was that I was too fixated on panicking over losing the other people's attention to something that I had absolutely no clue over. It was in fact a procedure of harassment on their end. Next time, it's important to not to panic and to have enough confidence in wanting to do good for others =). I think it's personally great to have faith in the Bible and that the experiences that I received to really make me mad over little things is not enough to make me want to destroy the world. Anyway, they are a pretty small bunch and were pretty delusional about something (but still have jobs and act selfish normally) and possibly, the situation that you get like the interesting characters you find on a show like "Friends" don't really amass to them. I did not really lose anything and moving on to find better things out there, while still having a faith in the loving Jesus is going to be of great benefit to me. The only problem I have is not being able to go back to work, especially with the economy sort of suffering and the amount of work I could choose to go into. If I am totally qualified to work and very diligent about it, and they say I can't work because of this restraining order then there could be a problem.

I'm not a quitter though. I'm sure I could find some type of work even with this type of weird background that's been temporarily stapled on my file. I realize that a few people I came to really like there are people who I'm probably going to have to place under the trust of God to take good care. I'm pretty much going to have to adventure into a new world of extreme living under His goodness =). I'm thinking of all the fun I could have and the attractive people I could meet now. So far, all the claims that the guys who were crazy with me  (Christopher Kuch, Jarred Taing, Pastor Chai of LA Hope of God Church [only ordained pastor], and Lee [hahaha] )  have been now officially debunked in my personal file. I just hope it does not have to come down to me filing a crazy lawsuit and this thing does not tail me wherever I go.

Restraining Order Talk

I think this whole restraining order talk is actually interesting quite a bit of people, so I will intentionally talk about the escalated procedures that happened with me not really doing much to obtain it. The people who desired it with me don't really have that much backing as I thought they would.

So one day, I wrote something and said that Annie Tran did a lot of shopping and placed herself on debt and that I eavesdropped on it. I was just joking around about women loving to shop of course. I think it would be honestly a little weird if women did not do a lot of shopping and I don't think there's anything wrong with that type of guilty pleasure every once in awhile. I actually condoned that type of behavior and then I received a message from Jarred Taing that I should not eavesdrop. Well, unfortunately I had sat next to a friend so I could not help but listen on to her conversation with him. Haha.

I then sensed that Betty Lam was acting a little antagonistic with me. I had received some of her complaints to stop emailing her over something. She was the only one who seriously asked me to take her off my e-mailing list. Everybody else seemed to be condoning my type of writing in some way. I then thought a nice thing to do while being under a panicked state would be to state that I was going to pursue after her. Christopher Kuch then told me that it was a type of stalker-like behavior. It would not be stalker behavior because they still allowed me to be around Betty at the time I had wrote it. I also received confrontations from Betty personally so I don't think she's not that uncomfortable being around me. All my good friends have been like "What?" when they hear that I got kicked out of a small church because they felt I was coming on to strongly with girls.

To try to offset this accusation, in my time of panic, I wrote a poem that basically said that Annie and Betty were unattractive. This is actually something they took so seriously. Basically, I was still chasing after Betty. It's not like I could never change my mind about Betty not being attractive. I don't really get it. You can only chase after one girl the most and what if I had decided to switch over to Annie by fate? They did something really big to damage their own reputations. I have been doing okay and feeling really pestered about the situation at the same time.

Another time, a friend had been turned down by a girl and then he became pretty out of control about the situation. He had asked me to proofread some of his writing and I became really angry when I read about how he wanted to defame this girl with her decision. Okay, with Annie and Betty deciding to not put me on their facebook; it made me mad underneath because I did not know what it was all about and so many bad interpretations were going around that were based on dishonesty. Their decision was pretty much influencing an escalation and they were still not doing much about it. I was trying my best to be friendly with Annie and Betty without yelling at them. Why would I want to yell at some girls if I'm supposedly in the right mind to chase after them? I wrote that they are not that pretty but still I was technically chasing after them. I had to choose one or the other, so pretty could be an overrated or underrated word that could not be so serious.

So Jarred Taing then told me that this friend's feelings were hurt and blamed me for it and then started yelling at me. I'm actually a lot better at yelling at people in general so I dismissed Jarred's comments. I have not really yelled at Jarred to the maximum point and I won't ever do it. I figure that it's better to understand the human side of things and to allow things to happen. I figure that Jarred could pretty much still function by not wanting to be the way he was anymore, and this is the same with Christopher, Annie, Betty, Chai, and Golf. I cannot mention any details about another girl because she's the one who put a restraining order on me. I showed up to court but then my lawyer told me to submit to the court which was the best decision so I went along with it. At the end of the judge's decision, I was pretty much banging on my head with the table because I figured that I could have not used a lawyer's expertise and personally get it out by myself. I knew I always got along with Lee, who put it on me. She was really misled by the situation and overall, it was the use of dishonesty on their end. Carlos Julio, the person I drove to the place and introduced them, a person who I tried to help and bought food would end up backstabbing me by attacking me blatantly while noticing that I was running away from Jarred and Chris. Why would Julio want to prevent me from coming in if I was not really being that violent? When Julio was violent with me, what's even worse is that I did not retaliate back physically even though I could have legitimately. These signs show that the decisions might actually belong to me and I may actually have a huge factor with influencing any outcome that I really need now without ever having been a huge bother.

I have a food for thought idea

With this whole job situation thing, I'm personally doing it because I feel that there's a positive return out of it. You make some money and can use that as a natural allowance which is pretty nice. I remember a friend who worked as a park ranger and babysat kids. I would remember being around him and then he would start yelling at the kids saying don't do this and don't do that which was pretty cold but I ignored it. Now that I think about it, that's pretty funny to laugh about and even share. Those kids must have been pretty pesky with my friend. Haha.

One of my personal disappointments right now is that I hate being late to work not that I did it so much to get fired. Haha. I have no job right now and it's not because I was super late to work all the time. Sure? Right? Oh my gosh, I was so smart and still am pretty smart. Do I really need help? I'm an adult now and it's so easy for me to get screwed over if I don't speak up. I did speak up to the best of my ability while trying to be nice but afterward, all the thoughts that I have are like it's not really so bad after all.

Feeling Disappointed Coming To A Small Church

It's amazing that I've been to a pretty large church that's really so brought up in the ways of the Bible. The teaching that is coordinated is really inspired from the pages of the Bible and is taught verse by verse, so all those verses that you don't really understand are also talked about. To be able to listen to the message at this large environment, it's so refreshing to receive.

What needs do God have in store for me to receive? Looks like my life has really been revolved around trying to retire early so I could play more with other difficult stuff like kayaking, sky diving, surfing, snow boarding, and other stuff. I'm a short guy so that's going to be talked about with me and that's something I'm going to have to understand. I'm still trying to make myself grow taller after all these years I've heard that nothing can be done about it. Haha.

Perhaps, the right decision does not always feel right in the beginning. Maybe there are too many what ifs that cause us to be distracted from the way to really live. Maybe sometimes the right thought you feel is not always going to turn out the way you expected. It might be from just wanting to do something bad =) but I'll still love you. I think I should try seeking out some social groups instead of help with what this one small group recommended for me in a psychotic manner haha! I was not really doing anything but in the end they caused a lot of damage to me and possibly affected themselves as well. They really had misrepresentations all around the situation and need some comforting by me. I think I'm the only one who could make this thing all right and that no one else could. Overall, the end of the world looks to be approaching but I'm still going to try my best to live a good one.

Okay

I'm going to quit playing poker for money forever now. I was going good with it but I broke even again ultimately so I need to tell myself to stop wasting time and doing something more worthwhile now. I lost no money really from playing poker but I wasted time so for now on I'm going to tell myself to stop playing poker and find something else to do.

I pretty much need to find a job again that's a little more stable and something I would not have problems managing and then I should pretty much be set then. So right now, while I wait for looking for jobs during the weekend I should just work on doing more worthwhile things. That should pretty much make everything a little more improved then. No matter how bored the situation gets or no matter what, I'm going to find something better to do than play poker now.

Poker Mania

I'm finding out that poker is more of a risky adventure if you go high stakes with it. It's probably not a good idea to get involved with the game unless you can really make those very expensive gambles and not feel bad for putting all your effort and luck in some cards. I guess some people are just really good at the game or also have a knack of when to stick around or to fold em'.

For me, I'm trying to play the most conservative I can with this card game and I'm finding out that my options are more about having a skilled mentality in the game while mixing in reasonable calls, raises, and bluffs to get the most of the outcome. In an idealistic setting, I feel that putting all my marbles into poker would be a horrible decision for me.

What I've been playing is fixed limit Omaha Hi/Lo tables, with some new updates coming into play, I can expect to profit about four times the biggest blinds in an hour. For example, in a 25/50 fixed game I will shell about 200 in an hour if I play my tested strategies. However, the risk factor is that people suffer losses too and the losses for me could be losing 200 at any moment of the session so let's say within the first half hour. If you treat everyone as equal players, then I believe that my playing a lot at the high tables ($750/$1500) would not be a really good call for me.  

There are other options where I could knock for more sure money and seriously use it for the good of God's purposes. Like for instance, I could go under the wing of organizations that have already made it big and then get compensated for putting in my hours for them. I'm making a living somewhat then and not being so depressed about moving up the ladder. I believe that I might have the determination to reach a high income and to also enjoy a pretty stable and hopefully pretty romantic relationship with a woman I wouldn't mind calling my soul mate and still trying to be a pretty nice guy =)

Converted Steam into Positive Energy

Relax baby...haha just relax, take it easy, and take that ball to the hole nice and easy...just tap it in...hahaha I got that line from Happy Gilmore. It's not really considered to be a masterpiece to the big movie critics but it was sort of funny for me to laugh at while growing up. Billy Madison was also another funny story too and then some people talk about Dumb and Dumber still. Okay, what a movie to consider it to be your favorite. It honestly has a lot of gags that I'm sure guys would understand.

So this whole essence of taking this whole disruptive energy that's inside you and you want to state it was generated by people who do weird and unexplainable stuff to you that really ticks you off and turning it into being a more successful and cool person is not really that bad when you think about it. Being a pretty interesting guy at times, I learned to harness the energy to get these weird people to back off and out of my life but I learned that there's a more healthier way of doing it. By certainly knowing deep underneath me and being satisfied with what I possess, I can still be a clever dude and be nice at the same time. =)

I mean facing the devil before the end of the world or being hung by terrorists or anything mean and unusual is something I would like to battle so I'll do my part to the best that I can while looking out for others around me too to the best of my ability and also praying about it because I need some divine help, along with all the effort that I'm trying to put in. I want to help by putting at least a little money to help an organization stop human trafficking which I am definitely against.