Overall, I think pornography will really contribute to killing your desires of having a normal sex life and furthermore, cloud your mind into accepting fornication. I don't think it's really that appropriate to talk about my sexual struggles on this blog here, as of yet.
About writing about Annie, Betty, Chai, Christopher Kuch, Darunee Lee, Golf, and Jarred Taing, it's pretty crazy that I typed away with that and tried to be honest to the best of my ability. With Washington, I went through a really sensitive time and have managed to get over his nastiness now. I knew that I was missing somewhere in my mannerism; I was just lacking and trying to force myself to look down upon my own self. It's just too hard for me to do it and I just started getting all worked up and would yell at this one guy who would bother me with his statements. He even bothers his own twin brother and seriously agitates his family sometimes, just by making ridiculous statements. In other words, I guess he's just really self-absorbed and does not want to be humble about some situations. I personally think laughter is very good in that case and just being a little persistent to the best of your ability. I think those guys I wrote about might really be lacking in something and that's why they acted so weird about something. They did make a big deal out of nothing. The best decision for me would definitely be to stay out of their way and that's what I'm going to do for at least some time. I'm going to make it a surprise this time because the other times I stated that I was coming and told them to tell me not to come on the e-mail. I kept on saying that I would come just to let them know heads up but they still ended up acting really nasty.
I don't know if there's going to be any automatic denial for me to hear about. First of all, my decision is not to date Annie, Betty, or Lee for a long-term courtship; I honestly don't really feel right about it. They did choose to block me on Facebook and chose to not even read my comments and probably threw away all the cards I wrote to them. I know that I can sometimes write pretty well even though I'm bothered and that the times they don't like it, it's just because they are just feeling overwhelmed about something and want to naturally avoid something which reflects to me a selfish nature. Maybe, I myself am selfish and I'm only saying maybe and it takes a lot of personal energy to regret that you could be wrong.
I sort of see this pattern that the path they took was really strange and they basically don't really have all that greatness in their personalities. It's like they really lack the ability to care and to be of a slightly flawless structure. It's like I could really mess with this situation a lot and even be bold and stupid while feeling so nervous and quiet and forgetting about some things I said in writing. I think in general people don't like to feel angry about something and I'm holding back on it and then sensing how some people who are seriously unhappy could be doing badly.
