Becoming More Thematic

I am realizing that my mind likes to get carried away from being extremely mellow. It would be awesome if my mellow mind could be really productive and allow me to sweat it out through the hardships without giving much thought to it. I used to be personally stressed out and paranoid about a lot of things but because I'm getting older and placing my focus on the things that matter to me, I'm not really that type of anti-social person anymore.

I've realized that even though I might feel uncomfortable, scared, or nervous underneath, it isn't going to keep me from being hard-working at obtaining a personal goal of mine, even if it takes longer than others. From initially having frantic behavior, I accept the failures I get into on a daily basis and then work towards improving on those shortcomings so that I would benefit from having finally achieved something. Even if all the elements aren't there as I would prefer, I don't really see it as that bad anymore and something I could always adjust to.

Basically, the ones I have to work with are those I could approach or in their own minds stalk them so easily. If they aren't really working that hard to avoid me, then come on, they are just being really lazy with thwarting me and thinking they could do something easily to bring destruction upon me. The ones I can't really see in person are just a bunch of lost causes, and they are just weird people to begin with and have flaws in their behaviors because it is impossible for them to be 200% happy. If I can come out to be a really violent person underneath, but I don't show it in real life and there's no proof of it then it means that I understand my moral limitations and am capable of blowing their lids to the point that they would cause destruction on me which would land them in jail and some hefty law suits if I'm still alive! If I don't care about staying alive because some idiot wants to kill me then at least I can rest in peace. I will fight and prepare myself to make it a really painful journey and something they won't want to repeat again for the good of mankind!