I understand that my conscience makes me the worst critic and from beating that realization around the bush with others who were angry with me, they kept on telling me to get some help. They were actually wrong because the person who needs the help is the one who feels the most victimized. Over something they were bothered by with me, when I went to speak to them, they became carried away with their anger and tried to eat me up and make me feel victimized or bullied so that I would give into their selfish pretensions they want to hide from others. This definitely means I wasn't doing anything wrong in victimizing them because anger is the easiest emotion to let go of in an interpersonal interaction.
I was feeling angry myself when they did that to me, but I was so fed up with feeling agitated and angry that I was just a standing vegetable to them while feeling all that aggression through my hormonal testosterone. It didn't feel good at the time, but now, it feels great and something I love to let go of by just dying to myself. Through dying to myself, I understand the concerns that others can spot in me so basically, I'm addressing those comments by disguising it in a way by explaining it through euphemisms by just humoring myself and them looking bad because of it.
I guess overall it's been about finding my way with some people and just having fun from it. I'm not revealing all the bad things about myself because those things belong in my closet. I'm pretty much ready to move forward and again work at making the best choices. Regardless of how unsubtle some things are, my inner self is really harmonizing and playing a decent role in stabilizing an environment of people.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
