I've been thinking about passive aggressively attacking a lot of people who just tick me off by letting go of all my frustrations on them. With the guys, I've been thinking about beating them up with some wrestling moves but not damaging them enough to hospitalize them and receive some unwanted charges from law enforcement! This just happened to me all morning.
I realize that I want to let go of those frustrating feelings by showing off my strength to them and just making them look stupid. It's an undying feeling and won't ever go away. I don't know, maybe I do need some help to find some relief and become productive more full-throttle. In the process of being angry with them, I'm motivated to work even harder than them and to have something to show off to them to make myself feel a whole lot better.
I feel like yelling at them really close to their ears so that they would cover their ears and just shut up and not say anything to me when I go up to them to ask them all these negative questions. I just want them to shut down whenever they are around me and have the opportunity to go up to them when they sound very agitated while talking to other people and just completely shut down with me and then after leaving, they start sounding agitated again which would make them look like very crass and unlikable people. I want to have control back in my life and not have them really be a factor in my own personal life decisions anymore.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
