Absolute Charity Now

I've made literally a few pretty pennies from typing on this blog alone. I don't believe in some of the advertising. Like going back, I've been getting these weird ads about Mormons and they are not a religious group I deem to be at an appropriate level of being strict with following the Bible. I think the Bible is the absolute book that I need to connect with God and live a fully and satisfying life. The Bible even stands for Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. I never thought of something funny and dry like that would even come to together as a word. The Bible is also the most selling book in history of mankind off the face of the Earth! Second place comes Don Quixote. I remember reading that story somehow and having this feeling of mysticism. It was about a man who was lusting after adventure and then he ends up dressing himself up like a knight or some big shot back then in the medieval times and then imagines slaying a dragon which he likens from a windmill. Overall, it makes a a great bed time story to be enjoyed by children and absorbed by adults!

I'm not going to try to sell out with a Google ad now. I'm letting it go and all of this writing I'm doing is just out of my own personal enjoyment. I'm a smart cookie and have an interesting way of having fun that could make others feel a little less than me sometimes. At the same time though, I think I can convince people who hated me to also like me as well. I'm just that type of manipulative person, and I think we all do need a little of those persuasion skills. I was able to go from being an absolutely scary person to someone who is capable of turning the tables around and controlling my own anger while being able to laugh at other's stupid jokes.

Still, this has nothing to do with this post, I have to mention that I want to blow stuff up in a desert while creating bombs just for the heck of it. I'm not going to store explosives illegally either, but I want to experiment with that stuff safely and maybe launch my own projectile just for fun on the push of a button.

I Want To Do That

Last night, I was watching some motorcyclists doing tricks while flying off of man-made hills on a track! I was like I want to do a 360 in the air and do a back-flip with the bike, too. I was imagining one of my childhood buddies being irritated from doing tricks off his bike as a hobby and then considering on going pro but from his family being broke, he was blaming a professional biker for charging him $50 an hour for coaching services. I think he was just mad from considering him a sellout despite having been successful and maybe thought he was a greedy person.

$50 was a lot back then as 12-year old but now, maybe I could hack it once a week. I'm finally starting to add my own style with the things that I want to pursue after. I'm a pretty quiet person and keep to myself, I don't even contribute to group jokes. It's all individualistic and can be bad in that I alienate myself from others while expressing myself to be happy. I feel like I don't fit in because I manage a constant discipline of preventing myself from using swear words. I'm so serious about this! I don't believe in sounding out or even spelling cuss words. I have done !@#$ or s---- to distinguish those bad words but I don't think that's really too serious. I guess my heart is evil already anyway, but still I'm not going to go off dropping f-bombs.

From writing this paragraph, there is concern for my aggression with people who have problems with me. They are going to be like, just wait for this guy to be blowing up on me and causing me even more annoyances that I can't handle anymore. Basically, I have anger issues too and when I feel a problem with someone, I should just back away because I do ideally want to get along with people. Only when I'm ready to be straight-forward which I found to be working and in the mood for laughing at their idiocy then maybe I should reconsider contacting them. It's really about establishing a personal level of comfort with those individuals and feeling it's worth my time doing so.

However, it seems like the most important people to me have made me satisfied already. Maybe, I'm just doing a little too much going after people who just suck as a person with me even though other people who suck too and those who are nice might like them also.

Posting More Controlled Thoughts

Last night, I visited my close correspondent's house and he was on Facebook. I felt this feeling of discomfort for myself. I guess I'm not really connecting well with people or something on Facebook. I've had some issues with people not wanting to be friends with me anymore. It's like they would have told me what was their problem by now or got me in trouble for it, but they don't even have the ability to do that to me. I must be on a good balanced level of being that scary type person you don't mess with because I have the stuff but don't act on it and grab all of that negative attention from a bigger scope like the press.

I've noticed that ever since the shootings on Ferguson with the racial issue of a white cop killing a larger than life, black teenager, there have been less sirens sounding off in my area of travel. I don't know if I've had some unexpected visitors on my sites who read my comments and then influence the paramedics, cops, or firemen on the field or something to try to warn me of my own imperil!

Overall, it seems like there's this balance taking place and I guess the right people eventually do act on it and restore order and balance. The Bible states that God is patient and maybe another word for saying, slow to act, but when it finally happens that's what matters all along regardless of the concrete casualties and injuries that took place.

Manning Up To Anger Issues

My definition of being angry is having an uncontrollable bout of emotional energy that feels very uncomfortable. It can last for a long time or just come and go sporadically for random things that just occur in life. I'm not the same person that I used to be, and I use this belief of myself to help manage my own anger issues.

I've found out that being straight-forward has been the best thing for me! I guess I've grown up to care a whole heck about other people's business and being sensitive to their personal issues that depresses them or makes them laugh. Being honest for me has worked the best and given me a piece of mindfulness even if it seems so contradictory to others. Maybe, for some, they should not really being saying everything on their mind because it's just foolish talk that they are revealing. Obviously because of prideful and selfish reasons, some of those oddballs aren't going to stop and just keep pressing with their weird agenda! We all do need a little energy to pursue and push after something, but there needs to be a balance in what we go after or not.

It's pretty simple for a man, I think. Just go after making money and pursuing a life partner. It's pretty simple, and nowadays, I don't even know what's on the minds of people who like to read attractive comments and view pretty photos; it's like they are really wasting their time and not getting anything good done. It's just a bunch of baloney that you need to embrace sometimes and let go of.

Getting Back To Posting

I've been really reading what I've been putting on this blog for the last couple weeks or so and it seems like the material I'm covering is a happy/funny type of thing. This is the type of personality that really attracts me, and I'm trying to convey myself in this fashion as a writer.

I think the majority of people don't really find the time to think about what makes them truly happy. Even if they did, I think they sort of keep to themselves about it because it's human nature. Heck, I would be worried too about others getting jealous over me and not being friends with me anymore.

Still the worries that I have aren't really about making lasting impressions anyway. It's not even going to help me make a ton of money! I think it's just a bunch of baloney that I need to absorb into my own stream of being ticked off and just move on with. I'm not the same type of person that I used to be where I would invest my time into a person and completely shut myself down with the world. I was sort of a contradicting prick and nice guy at the same time back then. From being different like this, I was definitely not in the mix of getting into trouble with people gossiping about my personality. Yeah, those people seem to just need those types of conversations to feel comfortable or something in their daily walk.

Taking Care of Things

I guess I'm starting to get a little better at managing my own time, but it's still not that good as I would like it to be. I think I really have a lot of choices to make in the near future now. It's really neat in that my emotions are not stressing me out anymore and hindering me from pursuing my goals.

I used to feel very held back and totally impatient. I had like a learning disability that I couldn't relieve myself from for a long time. Now that I'm out of college and have found myself growing better from becoming a more adept reader, reading a lot of good material has really been great at improving my confidence level and helped me become a better at studying.

I guess I'll be gone for the next two weeks because I have to do another business trip, but I think I will still be able to write something on this blog. I do need to start catching up with my blog posts. I think I could easily manage five posts a day if I really wanted to, but it would possibly hinder with my own family arrangements.

Becoming Less of a Loser

Right now, I'm going to go off topic, instead of hanging out with some attractive people right now who like to hang with others, I'm just keeping to myself today and burning a whole bunch of old CDs that aren't mine onto my small, portable hard drive. I feel very happy, yes. I don't feel like a loser, period!

I'm grabbing my images by using a secret method that really works. Send me a link on the comments if you can do this too. I remember my random MUMBO-JUMBO (past posts that are full of baloney sandwiches) ramblings and even getting a comment on there. Man, I'm the man dude! I have my arms lifted high in the air while no one is watching except for the people on the Net.

I don't feel like a loser because this girl I liked and who wouldn't respond to me via texts finally replied back to me. I wasn't expecting it, and I think that's what the key is. Don't expect to be answered to by a pretty girl you feel like you have no shot of making your girlfriend! She isn't really the most gorgeous woman on the planet, even though I could change that thought in a heartbeat. It's a nonsensical sentence that's a little cryptic right now. I'm being not so straight-forward about it that I'm revealing it isn't and know that it isn't.

Controlling My Positive Energy

I believe that with the funny thoughts and aggressive imaginations I sometimes think up, I get a little jittery underneath and then lose track of my current situation. This happens to me for a few seconds a lot- I really need to exercise discipline because my mind is very powerful at staying motivated with doing the most meaningless tasks!

I remember writing complete baloney at one point and then getting in trouble because of it in school. I told the counselor that I had mental problems and then he laughed and let me off the hook. I was seen as a very smart kid you don't want to mess with in high school. I scared so many grown adults and I think I was still a minor, so it was weird totally. I'm not going into the details of what I wrote about because I don't want to get in trouble by someone else again.

My mind is so different from the pack that I don't really think a lot of the things I do is really that cool. It might be unique to a certain point, but then again, I'm just so different while being a completely normal person. I don't think I really connect with the masses too well on Facebook or anything, but I do write stuff a lot better than the old days and so those people don't seem to mind what I put on there or at least by the majority.

I guess I'm weird in a way that I can eventually figure out things and get to a happy resolution after following through from the climax! Yes, what I wrote is very cryptic right now because I was imagining something in my head. That stuff is private and I'm not covering it. Maybe, I won't even remember what I was thinking about a few years from now. Anyhow, I guess it's just the flow of moving with things and keeping myself occupied. After all, I'm trying to reach the meaningless 365 post again. Maybe, I'll go overboard from trying to cover the Bible verses at the same time this time around, so the minimum will just be 365 posts then.

Back To Bible Notes

I am basically no pastor, neither am I a prophet! I'm pretty much a nobody trying to read through the whole Bible and making sense out of it. I guess to some people, the thought of there being a God to them makes absolutely no sense. Okay, I'm not really saying anything to that- just that there hasn't been any scientific proof of God's existence or not, so it seems like the only thing an unbelieving scientist could do is just doubt beyond all measure and just go from there doing their routine and making a living off of their research.

 Anyhow, I've lived through the emotional ups and downs of life while being a Christian. I even went out trying to share my faith with others. A few individuals just shut the door on us- they were like "No thank you" and slammed the door on us; man, that hurt! There were a few times where a few guys I met out of the blue listened to the gospel and gave their life over to the Lord. Wow, that was phenomenal; I thought it was all me, but in the end, it's not! It's really the power of the Holy Spirit, through the blessings of the teachings of the Father in heaven. One weird Christian I used to hang with said to me, "Do your magic" after witnessing me leading someone to Christ. I was like "What???"

I am a total emotional wreck, but nobody cares because it's really what you do that counts. Like me writing incoherent and cryptic stuff sometimes bugs some people and they just get mad and worried and not wanting to have anything to do with me, especially if I put on negative body language with them. Man, my subtle body language is powerful along with the cryptic messages I write! It bugs the people I don't like for some reason at the moment a whole lot. It was after I managed to get over it that I managed to get those people to respond back to me in a nice and friendly manner. Man, I'm so good at leading people back to good standing with me. Whether a person wants to call it manipulating or not, I'm just happy the person no longer has any beef with me and that I can just move on without worrying about them and feeling worn out with them.

I don't have to be that angry man with Napoleon Complex anymore and start demotivating them and then building them back up with my weird philosophies being forced down their living conscious.

Appearance Doesn't Seem To Matter

Okay, this topic is for people who are a little mature. If you are a teenager and going through some issues of appearance then good luck at coming to terms with it. I had to go through all of that stuff too during my teenager years; I ended up popping a lot of my pimples, which was an idiotic act to do. Don't do that, just wash the face and let the acne clear up with some of that cream and be careful, if you take some medication for it.

I've had my decent share of women and men telling me straight-up while I stand there in disbelief that I'm a pretty good-looking guy. I would feel this uncomfortable thing underneath of how that's impossible to me and just not know how to respond to that complement. Now, I'm going to be like thank you and smile.

About the topic of appearances because I seem to err a little off topic for some reason because it's fun to do while others get a headache sometimes and then get mad, I notice that it doesn't really matter to me so much if a woman is beautiful on the outside. I want to have a special connection with my future wife someday, and I believe that if she's adorable enough to me then that's good enough for me. I don't care how others would feel about her looks because she would be the right fit for me while I'm in love!

Basically, I'm at the point where I surfed the Internet looking for beauty and there's like supermodels who people consider to be gorgeous and when I look at them, I think another friend I know looks like her and she might be better looking too. This is why I seem to not care so much about appearances anymore, it's just wasting my time looking at meaningless stuff when I could focus on making myself a rich man and healthy with six pack abs!

I can't find a replacement for that longing feeling of companionship with a beautiful wife. I keep on trying and failing; one of these days I'm just going to have defeat the enemy inside of me and make that boring and stupid side submit to my natural good qualities. No one has to know about how much effort I'm putting in and feeling at the moment and from struggling while it goes through the highs and lows. I'm just going to have to be consistent, while breaking out of my addictive cycles. Even if I'm not feeling it, I'm becoming more reliant on going with faith or what I believe in. One of my buddies just stays constantly depressed because he's a selfish guy honestly and can't break out of his shell to the point of no return. He's just stuck in his own ideologies he grew up with and can't solve it too well. Oh well, I guess he was just born that way and doesn't want to put in too much effort and end up getting tortured to a point he can't handle.

Wow, Been So Busy

I have some on-going issues that I'm trying to solve with myself. Okay, from being a Christian, maybe I might engage in some borderline sins that are not very heavily discussed about in the Bible. That's the area I struggle in currently, and I'm trying to make sense and meaning out of it so that I can abandon those tempting ideas that re-occur often after I do the questionable act.

For myself, I get tired easily after doing something that could be considered sinful. I'm being a little cryptic on purpose here because I'm afraid that my comments might not really be great for youngsters. I'm sure adults and other guys around my age would be able to relate to my struggles, but I don't feel right about writing so bluntly on this topic. However, that's how I end up scaring a lot of people as well even thought most of my friends are cool with it!

I can be very blunt in person or one-on-one, so I guess when someone has some unsettled beef with me then I could resolve it by being very upfront with the person. By being this way in writing or in person, after doing my deed of helping the other person come to terms with me, I'm like maybe that person isn't really that worth it to begin with. I then go cold shoulders with him or her for some reason, after I find a way to end the conflict the other person is feeling with me. Man, I feel like I'm an intelligent person when I make a person who is like "Get away from me" become a bit more flattering with me and then give me a thumbs up! I guess I got some mad skills in that area, man. It's awesome to have it underneath all of my aggressive moods of wanting to just be angry and controlling with others like a typical man with Napoleon Complex.

For the purpose of survival, I've had to develop some intra-intelligence which is I.Q. that is being aware of your personal emotions, throughout any time of the season. I've had some practice with it, so I understand how others can struggle with it. I do too, by imagining stuff in my head and then feeling afterwards, that's just plain wrong to do and then struggling to make peace with it by discovering alternative solutions on my own. I'm getting so much better at maintaining my own personal moods then I used to. Everything about me is almost normal or average in fact, but quite possibly a little above everything except for me being short, but no one seems to really care about that with me now.