Wow, Been So Busy

I have some on-going issues that I'm trying to solve with myself. Okay, from being a Christian, maybe I might engage in some borderline sins that are not very heavily discussed about in the Bible. That's the area I struggle in currently, and I'm trying to make sense and meaning out of it so that I can abandon those tempting ideas that re-occur often after I do the questionable act.

For myself, I get tired easily after doing something that could be considered sinful. I'm being a little cryptic on purpose here because I'm afraid that my comments might not really be great for youngsters. I'm sure adults and other guys around my age would be able to relate to my struggles, but I don't feel right about writing so bluntly on this topic. However, that's how I end up scaring a lot of people as well even thought most of my friends are cool with it!

I can be very blunt in person or one-on-one, so I guess when someone has some unsettled beef with me then I could resolve it by being very upfront with the person. By being this way in writing or in person, after doing my deed of helping the other person come to terms with me, I'm like maybe that person isn't really that worth it to begin with. I then go cold shoulders with him or her for some reason, after I find a way to end the conflict the other person is feeling with me. Man, I feel like I'm an intelligent person when I make a person who is like "Get away from me" become a bit more flattering with me and then give me a thumbs up! I guess I got some mad skills in that area, man. It's awesome to have it underneath all of my aggressive moods of wanting to just be angry and controlling with others like a typical man with Napoleon Complex.

For the purpose of survival, I've had to develop some intra-intelligence which is I.Q. that is being aware of your personal emotions, throughout any time of the season. I've had some practice with it, so I understand how others can struggle with it. I do too, by imagining stuff in my head and then feeling afterwards, that's just plain wrong to do and then struggling to make peace with it by discovering alternative solutions on my own. I'm getting so much better at maintaining my own personal moods then I used to. Everything about me is almost normal or average in fact, but quite possibly a little above everything except for me being short, but no one seems to really care about that with me now.