I Want To Do That

Last night, I was watching some motorcyclists doing tricks while flying off of man-made hills on a track! I was like I want to do a 360 in the air and do a back-flip with the bike, too. I was imagining one of my childhood buddies being irritated from doing tricks off his bike as a hobby and then considering on going pro but from his family being broke, he was blaming a professional biker for charging him $50 an hour for coaching services. I think he was just mad from considering him a sellout despite having been successful and maybe thought he was a greedy person.

$50 was a lot back then as 12-year old but now, maybe I could hack it once a week. I'm finally starting to add my own style with the things that I want to pursue after. I'm a pretty quiet person and keep to myself, I don't even contribute to group jokes. It's all individualistic and can be bad in that I alienate myself from others while expressing myself to be happy. I feel like I don't fit in because I manage a constant discipline of preventing myself from using swear words. I'm so serious about this! I don't believe in sounding out or even spelling cuss words. I have done !@#$ or s---- to distinguish those bad words but I don't think that's really too serious. I guess my heart is evil already anyway, but still I'm not going to go off dropping f-bombs.

From writing this paragraph, there is concern for my aggression with people who have problems with me. They are going to be like, just wait for this guy to be blowing up on me and causing me even more annoyances that I can't handle anymore. Basically, I have anger issues too and when I feel a problem with someone, I should just back away because I do ideally want to get along with people. Only when I'm ready to be straight-forward which I found to be working and in the mood for laughing at their idiocy then maybe I should reconsider contacting them. It's really about establishing a personal level of comfort with those individuals and feeling it's worth my time doing so.

However, it seems like the most important people to me have made me satisfied already. Maybe, I'm just doing a little too much going after people who just suck as a person with me even though other people who suck too and those who are nice might like them also.