Oh man, I thought to myself. I felt so sick and tired and really sad. My boss decided to give me an impossible 18-hour shift. I was dying to myself to keep myself awake. I was falling asleep while standing! I couldn't believe that my boss had the nerve to do this me and say that for the whole month I'm being switched over to a salary. I have a few of these shifts remaining. Maybe the Bible will bring me comfort.
I haven't read the Bible in awhile. I think I read one sentence and then lights out. I was knocked out on my own desk. It's so bad that I could use it as a bed time story to force myself to sleep when I have to instead of staying awake.
The next day, I opened the Bible again. Oh man, it's light out. Oh darn it, I had to go to work. I'm going to be late oh no! Save a wretched man like me.
The third day, I look at the cover of the Bible. Blank. The fourth day, it's still going on over and over like this. I want to give the Bible a chance. What's coming over me? It's my stubborn mind that just wants to do foolish things like this.
The wind blew on my face. I unconsciously stashed my copy of the Bible in my picnic basket at a park while going on a lovely play date with my girlfriend. The Bible was there and the wind blew a few pages of the Bible open. Then, my girlfriend Kate decided to flip through the pages a few more times.
She mocked me as she laid there and for the nerdy person she was, she had a pen in her purse and underlined a verse for me to read. She said to read it to her and that it would be like the perfect bedtime story for her. She jokingly said that I better not fall asleep or the food would go to waste for both of us.
I held my breath and thought to myself, if I'm going to marry this decent lady someday then I better be able to suck this in.
"For God so loved the world, " I staggered with my voice. I was falling asleep, oh no!
"That He gave His only begotten Son," I had more lines to read. "That whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." I read a full sentence in the Bible finally. My heart leaped with joy.
My girlfriend sat up and kissed me on the check. "Great job," she said, "when are you ready to attend Sunday service?"
Oh boy. "Amazing!" I said. "Grace, I mean. It's amazing grace. Maybe I'll act a little bit more alive the next time you drag me there sweetie!"
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
