I feel bad for the homeless people out there and how they just keep on piling up at random places all over downtown Los Angeles. I think I have finally figured it out from accepting how things are. A person who begs for money is someone who has the intelligence to think for himself. He or she just needs to go find the right people or place to get help.
This means that it isn't wrong to refuse giving them money on the street. I make exceptions without judging if they ask for reasonable things like some change for taking the bus. Okay, I will make the exception there; otherwise, I really shouldn't bother even if they are too weak or hungry. The only time I think in a Biblical sense would be so proper is if they can no longer think for themselves. If they are vocal and asking for something simple like money or even holding a sign, then it means you don't have to. I'm sure the majority of those homeless people wouldn't give either to each other if they were in our shoes.
God has a purpose with them being there and so I think it's in their place to rightfully suffer for whatever predicament and if God wills it, they can come up with a brilliant plan to get out of their financial or health issues and also work diligently to get there.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
Friday, April 27, 2018
Thursday, April 26, 2018
Building From Yesterday
For my top five goals that I wanted to complete, I ended up finishing about 3.5 of it. When I got back home, I had dinner that my mom made me. Eventually, I'm going to have to be able to meal prep for myself (my left out goal for yesterday); unless, I'm blessed to marry a woman who loves to cook delicious food! Also, my time will come where I will have to leave my parents. The fact that I'm 34 and still living with them and a virgin is insane! I accept the situation that I'm in. It looks like even though people may have had sex, the normal person doesn't really seem to be so mindful with discussing about it. In a way, it's like they did that in the past and maybe if it worked out for them then it's great; otherwise, just the way things are.
Getting back to discussing about my goals, I played piano while accompanied with singing contemporary Christian songs for a good 45 minutes without realizing how I was having so much fun. I even thought how one of my songs I'm working on could be used to make fun of Lee in a psychotic fashion and I practiced with that imagination in mind. I'm thinking about being a crazy fool and busting out playing on their uninspiring ghetto keyboard with a microphone hooked up to the stereo in front of all the hapless members at that church! There's a breathing technique that goes along with singing and that really helps facilitate singing in a falsetto for the most part, which is a cool realization. It's breathing at those eighth note rests before singing again that does wonders!
After realizing that I had been distracted (thanks Lee), I did a 30 minute trail run and a lady friend texted me to go clubbing. I thought that would have been interesting considering how there is at least a slight physical attraction with each other, but I was like no, I have to get up too early for going to work and that I'll let her know. I went for an hour of doing a tiring yoga class which burnt a lot of additional calories, conducted personal hygiene, and with the remaining strength I had, I worked on my Forex trades. After that I was just zoned out and watched basketball and two anime episodes that left me so sleepy. I was just done for the night after that. I had that worn out feeling at the end before I let myself zone out for about an hour.
I guess I could push aside the whole playing piano thing because I was really just trying to let my food digest before I went running outside and work at my trades or something else I have in mind of doing. Playing the piano and trying to be soulful while singing with it is actually fun and good for you! I guess I'm just going to keep making adjustments and update myself consistently or until I run out of space on this blog to write. I'm only trying for one per day the whole month because I've been just doing it that way for the last several years and it's cool to me I did that, so I have the number one "Computer Science" blog because of it!
Getting back to discussing about my goals, I played piano while accompanied with singing contemporary Christian songs for a good 45 minutes without realizing how I was having so much fun. I even thought how one of my songs I'm working on could be used to make fun of Lee in a psychotic fashion and I practiced with that imagination in mind. I'm thinking about being a crazy fool and busting out playing on their uninspiring ghetto keyboard with a microphone hooked up to the stereo in front of all the hapless members at that church! There's a breathing technique that goes along with singing and that really helps facilitate singing in a falsetto for the most part, which is a cool realization. It's breathing at those eighth note rests before singing again that does wonders!
After realizing that I had been distracted (thanks Lee), I did a 30 minute trail run and a lady friend texted me to go clubbing. I thought that would have been interesting considering how there is at least a slight physical attraction with each other, but I was like no, I have to get up too early for going to work and that I'll let her know. I went for an hour of doing a tiring yoga class which burnt a lot of additional calories, conducted personal hygiene, and with the remaining strength I had, I worked on my Forex trades. After that I was just zoned out and watched basketball and two anime episodes that left me so sleepy. I was just done for the night after that. I had that worn out feeling at the end before I let myself zone out for about an hour.
I guess I could push aside the whole playing piano thing because I was really just trying to let my food digest before I went running outside and work at my trades or something else I have in mind of doing. Playing the piano and trying to be soulful while singing with it is actually fun and good for you! I guess I'm just going to keep making adjustments and update myself consistently or until I run out of space on this blog to write. I'm only trying for one per day the whole month because I've been just doing it that way for the last several years and it's cool to me I did that, so I have the number one "Computer Science" blog because of it!
Wednesday, April 25, 2018
How I Honestly See Myself
From the way I appear, it depends on people I'm around, if they are better looking than me then I'm ugly and the other way around if they don't appear good outwardly. I accept my appearance, but would like it to be a bit neater. It's like I have the mad scientist look going on right now.
I have been successful to a degree of working out consistently, but would love to keep on adding to it by doing more activities as long as I don't tire out for the whole day. My dream right now is to be able to not have to work a traditional job and make money from investing it and practically being able to make more from just sitting there after initiating my investment. I want to dream about what I could do with all that time and maybe I could squander it sometimes with silly video games or entertaining myself with sport venues, but other than that I would love to keep profiting with doing the stuff I think would be awesome to get involved with. It would also be great to pick up other hobbies as well. I would then just have so much activities lined up for myself without having to do a job on a daily basis and if I ever wanted to, I wouldn't have to worry about putting the time into it for making an earning or contributing significantly.
Let's see for my free time, I work out, take care of personal hygiene, and trade. I also listen to Bible tracks on my phone app or on the radio as well. I sometimes read the Bible and look through a commentary. I would like to add in cooking last and from those five different things, I would like to build a personal foundation of self-development. That's pretty much my top five to get through the day on a normal work day for me. I want to move on from all these hours of work that I'm putting and I think this family business is going to be my last stop. I don't want to look anywhere else for a job, unless I'm forced into doing so. With helping out at this family business, I would love to grow my business of investing and then just break away into doing my own thing.
I have been successful to a degree of working out consistently, but would love to keep on adding to it by doing more activities as long as I don't tire out for the whole day. My dream right now is to be able to not have to work a traditional job and make money from investing it and practically being able to make more from just sitting there after initiating my investment. I want to dream about what I could do with all that time and maybe I could squander it sometimes with silly video games or entertaining myself with sport venues, but other than that I would love to keep profiting with doing the stuff I think would be awesome to get involved with. It would also be great to pick up other hobbies as well. I would then just have so much activities lined up for myself without having to do a job on a daily basis and if I ever wanted to, I wouldn't have to worry about putting the time into it for making an earning or contributing significantly.
Let's see for my free time, I work out, take care of personal hygiene, and trade. I also listen to Bible tracks on my phone app or on the radio as well. I sometimes read the Bible and look through a commentary. I would like to add in cooking last and from those five different things, I would like to build a personal foundation of self-development. That's pretty much my top five to get through the day on a normal work day for me. I want to move on from all these hours of work that I'm putting and I think this family business is going to be my last stop. I don't want to look anywhere else for a job, unless I'm forced into doing so. With helping out at this family business, I would love to grow my business of investing and then just break away into doing my own thing.
Establishing Goals
I'm looking at adding onto my goals as much as I can until I get to where I want to be. I guess from my ultimate goal of not really having to show up for work anymore at an office, I could use the time to invest in other things wisely, to develop more IT-related things, study the Bible, and socialize more often along with the things that I would like to add.
It really looks like I have a great, out-going social life at this point in time. For being a guy and just going outdoors, it looks absolutely normal and on my Facebook page, I'm not really drawing upon that much attention from the majority of the people on there. It's totally fine with me and I'll just keep on doing my best with what I think looks good to post.
I honestly think that even if I become the world's biggest star than these no-names on my Facebook page are still not going to care to click like on my posts. I do have friends in person commenting once in a blue moon that they have seen my posts, but they don't leave me feedback of liking my posts. I guess that's pretty funny to accept then.
At this moment, I interact closely with people who are mostly girls and very comfortable about being in their friend zone. I think it's fun to socialize, but sometimes they just start going off talking about stuff among each other girls that is hard for me to follow! It took a bit of work to get to that point. I guess it's just a matter of locking in on my financial stability now and then pursuing after a good woman to settle down with and manage a new family.
It really looks like I have a great, out-going social life at this point in time. For being a guy and just going outdoors, it looks absolutely normal and on my Facebook page, I'm not really drawing upon that much attention from the majority of the people on there. It's totally fine with me and I'll just keep on doing my best with what I think looks good to post.
I honestly think that even if I become the world's biggest star than these no-names on my Facebook page are still not going to care to click like on my posts. I do have friends in person commenting once in a blue moon that they have seen my posts, but they don't leave me feedback of liking my posts. I guess that's pretty funny to accept then.
At this moment, I interact closely with people who are mostly girls and very comfortable about being in their friend zone. I think it's fun to socialize, but sometimes they just start going off talking about stuff among each other girls that is hard for me to follow! It took a bit of work to get to that point. I guess it's just a matter of locking in on my financial stability now and then pursuing after a good woman to settle down with and manage a new family.
Hanging With A Good Looking Girl
Well I have been running fairly long distance for the last few weeks to prepare for a half-marathon. My lady friend who is the only one going with me is dropping out of the race from not being motivated enough to practice running. We still have other fun things planned and when I think of it, she's like a little sister to me now. She's very smart though and can look attractive enough to get hit on by other guys, but I still see her as like a cute-looking sister. I just want to give her a nice hug out of appreciation from spending time with her. I don't think I'll be trying to marry her anytime soon even though we're spending some quality time together without anyone else.
She's a fun friend who loves to hike, but gets carried away sometimes about the time and can't help herself from something she finds interesting. Getting to know this girl from a personal level, yeah, she's just family with genes that's outside my family tree. I guess it's a little weird that I don't find her to be someone I'm going to marry eventually.
I do like how people just assume we're together sometimes and don't really ask us when we are hanging out. I have even seen jealous faces of other guys. It's pretty funny actually!
She's a fun friend who loves to hike, but gets carried away sometimes about the time and can't help herself from something she finds interesting. Getting to know this girl from a personal level, yeah, she's just family with genes that's outside my family tree. I guess it's a little weird that I don't find her to be someone I'm going to marry eventually.
I do like how people just assume we're together sometimes and don't really ask us when we are hanging out. I have even seen jealous faces of other guys. It's pretty funny actually!
Tuesday, April 24, 2018
Current Honest Situation
From having read a book on financing, it recommends everyone should have enough money to support themselves for six months. When I do the math for myself, I am going to need $24,000 or $4000 per month to decently be able support my current living expenses. It sounds like a lot for someone who has no money at all, but I think that's pretty normal for the everyday active adult. You have to pay all sorts of utility bills and mortgage/rent and on top of that also for commuting to work with groceries. Also, it's hard to pass up entertainment like going for night out with friends or date which is highly treasured by people.
With all these factors, it sounds reasonable for a hard-working and responsible adult who also cares for his own welfare. The thing is though I'm still single and the main factor that's hindering my confidence is from not feeling like I have enough money like I would like to have a nice home that could even range near million dollars and free to have fun making money exploring opportunities at my own job.
Once again, the main factor is honesty! I'm a really lucky individual and blessed by God to have a job along with being born with a personality that cares so much about self-improvement. Why I'm so lucky with my job is that it's flexible from being family-owned. I'm one of those lucky guys out there and no, we're not hiring so sorry and screw the people at that church who kicked me out from acting like stupid, drama queens over people who didn't care enough to step forward and tell me what their problems were in person. They had social anxiety issues if they couldn't do that and being sensitive towards them would be like treating they are God, so it means they struggle from being selfish and wanting everybody to treat them with so much goodness so yeah, they overdid it in the religious department and failed to outdo me and I think that's what it was all about. It was about them competing against me for resources because they saw me as a spiritual powerhouse. Hey, that's cool and I did was just believe in Jesus and try to live it out the best I could with the studying the Bible and I had major help from listening in on sermons that concerned itself over preaching every single verse in the Bible! It was challenging because I didn't want to listen to God at certain times, but I still went for it.
You know it's not so bad after all because that church sucked dramatically so much! I think they still do because I haven't heard about them anywhere at more prominent churches, so they are just a bunch of low-level spiritual whack jaws who can't follow a single Bible verse that challenges them. They are a bunch of weak spiritual babies mislead by their own selfish and emotionalized ambitions. They are a bunch of spiritually dangerous people to entrust for anything! I'm glad I stood up against them and I did it peacefully and reluctantly too at the beginning. You know, I'm no longer reluctant about standing tall against them and have no problems doing that for once after I get to my lifelong oath to fulfill for the Lord. I'm not going to talk about it. I made a stupid promise to God and it involves that lame church and I want to run away from it so I feel free from this obligation, but I have to so yeah, it sucks and I made a mistake. I think I'll just yell at them the day that I do have to fulfill my oath with God because I didn't say I was going to be nice to them. I will get a very good laugh from being blunt and hurting all of their feelings and just not caring. It feels good to vent and reveal the whole truth. I don't think the people I dealt with are even going to be there- I'll be so surprised if they are still there and they are just going to have one extra headache to deal with that they are going to ignore and just have their own issues to deal with just like the failures that they already are.
With all these factors, it sounds reasonable for a hard-working and responsible adult who also cares for his own welfare. The thing is though I'm still single and the main factor that's hindering my confidence is from not feeling like I have enough money like I would like to have a nice home that could even range near million dollars and free to have fun making money exploring opportunities at my own job.
Once again, the main factor is honesty! I'm a really lucky individual and blessed by God to have a job along with being born with a personality that cares so much about self-improvement. Why I'm so lucky with my job is that it's flexible from being family-owned. I'm one of those lucky guys out there and no, we're not hiring so sorry and screw the people at that church who kicked me out from acting like stupid, drama queens over people who didn't care enough to step forward and tell me what their problems were in person. They had social anxiety issues if they couldn't do that and being sensitive towards them would be like treating they are God, so it means they struggle from being selfish and wanting everybody to treat them with so much goodness so yeah, they overdid it in the religious department and failed to outdo me and I think that's what it was all about. It was about them competing against me for resources because they saw me as a spiritual powerhouse. Hey, that's cool and I did was just believe in Jesus and try to live it out the best I could with the studying the Bible and I had major help from listening in on sermons that concerned itself over preaching every single verse in the Bible! It was challenging because I didn't want to listen to God at certain times, but I still went for it.
You know it's not so bad after all because that church sucked dramatically so much! I think they still do because I haven't heard about them anywhere at more prominent churches, so they are just a bunch of low-level spiritual whack jaws who can't follow a single Bible verse that challenges them. They are a bunch of weak spiritual babies mislead by their own selfish and emotionalized ambitions. They are a bunch of spiritually dangerous people to entrust for anything! I'm glad I stood up against them and I did it peacefully and reluctantly too at the beginning. You know, I'm no longer reluctant about standing tall against them and have no problems doing that for once after I get to my lifelong oath to fulfill for the Lord. I'm not going to talk about it. I made a stupid promise to God and it involves that lame church and I want to run away from it so I feel free from this obligation, but I have to so yeah, it sucks and I made a mistake. I think I'll just yell at them the day that I do have to fulfill my oath with God because I didn't say I was going to be nice to them. I will get a very good laugh from being blunt and hurting all of their feelings and just not caring. It feels good to vent and reveal the whole truth. I don't think the people I dealt with are even going to be there- I'll be so surprised if they are still there and they are just going to have one extra headache to deal with that they are going to ignore and just have their own issues to deal with just like the failures that they already are.
Honesty and Accepting Things With Confidence
I think just being honest about everything as much as possible is very important for anyone. If it goes down to it, the truth should make sense at least somewhat and if it does get there to the best way then yes, if it convinces you then maybe you might be able to convince someone else. This whole honesty thing and willingness to accept things the way are just can't happen without already having a decent level of personal confidence.
In a way, with all this tension and frustration built up from stuff that just would naturally tick you off, it just means constant failure if you just can't accept how people want to be and constantly being on the worry with it. Fortunately, I seem to possess pretty decent persuasive skills at the heat of the moment and from just being blunt, it's not really that hard to understand my perspective. Overall, from my experience, the truth really hurts the other person who is bugging you and benefits you so much so there's nothing wrong with being so out in the open about it.
I seem to be nice at least, so that makes me likeable still with these people and they already had it coming with their own struggles. It's just like anybody else who is going to have problems. I also like to genuinely laugh while being honest and that's going to be infectious as well with giving people the giggles while they are having trouble dealing with me too.
I've heard my mom yell a lot from feeling nagged and with me having vented my frustration with her and just being full-on honest, it looks like my mom just isn't in the mood for yelling at all in general with others. My words must have really crossed her mind and it's just life in general.
In a way, with all this tension and frustration built up from stuff that just would naturally tick you off, it just means constant failure if you just can't accept how people want to be and constantly being on the worry with it. Fortunately, I seem to possess pretty decent persuasive skills at the heat of the moment and from just being blunt, it's not really that hard to understand my perspective. Overall, from my experience, the truth really hurts the other person who is bugging you and benefits you so much so there's nothing wrong with being so out in the open about it.
I seem to be nice at least, so that makes me likeable still with these people and they already had it coming with their own struggles. It's just like anybody else who is going to have problems. I also like to genuinely laugh while being honest and that's going to be infectious as well with giving people the giggles while they are having trouble dealing with me too.
I've heard my mom yell a lot from feeling nagged and with me having vented my frustration with her and just being full-on honest, it looks like my mom just isn't in the mood for yelling at all in general with others. My words must have really crossed her mind and it's just life in general.
Monday, April 23, 2018
Good To Know
Well no matter how much a fan would want to go against this, porn is mainly produced by actors looking to make it their profession. They are engaging in a sinful activity and performing in a way to entice guys and some women as well to lustfully fantasize about sex! After all of that, I'm honestly still thinking that having a wonderful marriage with a beautiful woman and enjoying great sex from being the right person to her would be awesome!
Women have been saying that if the guy is the right person or knows what he is doing then sex is pleasurable. It's already assumed that most guys would enjoy it from being visual creatures and having a versatile sex organ with testosterone to go with it. I never thought women would say that they themselves can enjoy it, but there you have it. Therefore, for a guy like me, it's easy to conclude that being able to have great sex is a behavior that can be learned.
Okay, this is getting pretty dry talking about all this and feels a bit cheesy for me, but it's nice to know I guess. I still don't believe in fornicating, so I will have to pursue after the right woman to marry then or maybe if I'm lucky, she will chase after me first. I just need to keep on working on myself and that's one of the biggest goals for me and to also constantly maintain it.
Overall, anything that can be improved upon and something within your reach should be done just for personal welfare. It can be a drag, but that's fine. I'm going after living a full life while reaching my greatest potential and this factor isn't something I'm doing for others. It feels great to pursue and live for it. It's a new day everyday and I just need to manage my time a lot better and accept just the way things are.
Women have been saying that if the guy is the right person or knows what he is doing then sex is pleasurable. It's already assumed that most guys would enjoy it from being visual creatures and having a versatile sex organ with testosterone to go with it. I never thought women would say that they themselves can enjoy it, but there you have it. Therefore, for a guy like me, it's easy to conclude that being able to have great sex is a behavior that can be learned.
Okay, this is getting pretty dry talking about all this and feels a bit cheesy for me, but it's nice to know I guess. I still don't believe in fornicating, so I will have to pursue after the right woman to marry then or maybe if I'm lucky, she will chase after me first. I just need to keep on working on myself and that's one of the biggest goals for me and to also constantly maintain it.
Overall, anything that can be improved upon and something within your reach should be done just for personal welfare. It can be a drag, but that's fine. I'm going after living a full life while reaching my greatest potential and this factor isn't something I'm doing for others. It feels great to pursue and live for it. It's a new day everyday and I just need to manage my time a lot better and accept just the way things are.
Refining Knowledge for Making Money
I think I'm onto something very powerful when it comes to trading in a financial market. It's amazing how having given this cumbersome information a shot, I'm starting to nail it on my point with my own personal preferences for making some profitable trades! It's fun and it's rinse and repeat and it also feels natural for me.
I'm not really in the mood for sharing my technique because I personally don't know everything about it, but it's just something that works for me. It's like how I didn't understand the times table and just memorized it but kept on getting answers correct from having this knowledge. I've memorized a technique that keeps on giving me consistency with analyzing the market and going in and coming out with what to expect already.
Yeah, I'm going to hang on to it and not share it with anybody. If somebody wants to get it, then he or she is going to have to search and get it by luck or some hard work. I don't know how I stumbled onto the original guy who created it, but I'm not even fully applying everything he knows. I sort of adapted his strategies for my own and that's why I can't really sell it to anyone but I know it's been working pretty well for me. It's confusing with some steps that would have to be done, and it's also not going to make full sense at all because I can't really explain it that well to anyone, so I'm better off just using it for myself.
I'm not even going to mention my source of wisdom either because I don't want everybody to know about him, unless I just stopped caring about trading and wanted to sell out for some retirement allowance. I think it's still going to be met with a lot of skepticism because there's so many ways to go about this and this person isn't someone I would have believed in either the first time I decided to pursue after mastering this field of trading.
I'm not really in the mood for sharing my technique because I personally don't know everything about it, but it's just something that works for me. It's like how I didn't understand the times table and just memorized it but kept on getting answers correct from having this knowledge. I've memorized a technique that keeps on giving me consistency with analyzing the market and going in and coming out with what to expect already.
Yeah, I'm going to hang on to it and not share it with anybody. If somebody wants to get it, then he or she is going to have to search and get it by luck or some hard work. I don't know how I stumbled onto the original guy who created it, but I'm not even fully applying everything he knows. I sort of adapted his strategies for my own and that's why I can't really sell it to anyone but I know it's been working pretty well for me. It's confusing with some steps that would have to be done, and it's also not going to make full sense at all because I can't really explain it that well to anyone, so I'm better off just using it for myself.
I'm not even going to mention my source of wisdom either because I don't want everybody to know about him, unless I just stopped caring about trading and wanted to sell out for some retirement allowance. I think it's still going to be met with a lot of skepticism because there's so many ways to go about this and this person isn't someone I would have believed in either the first time I decided to pursue after mastering this field of trading.
Stuff I Should Work On
One of my female friends I hung out with yesterday was really honest with me. She said that she wants to find a man who will take care of her and this means that he would have to be financially fit- meaning she wants to marry a wealthy gentleman. I mean, what woman really wouldn't want to unless she's already successful and looking for something else in a guy.
She advised me to become rich as well and that even though I'm short, she vaguely implied it wouldn't matter to her as well, if I wanted to pursue her later on. It seems like she also cares about me and is taking a little interest. While I was around other people, I was a little disoriented at first with her being a little taller than me so I was trying to make it look like we aren't a couple, even though it looked like people didn't care if we were.
Since we're both Asian, maybe people can assume we are related as well too, so I guess I have that benefit of the doubt people can also think about too. After a little into having a conversation with her, I just stopped caring about her being taller than me again. I just plain ignored concerns that other people would think I look ridiculous for hanging out with a taller and an attractive woman and that I have no shot with her. I guess it doesn't make sense because the thought of that is actually cool and could make some guys jealous of me being in that position! Yeah, this personal insecurity with being so short doesn't seem to matter so much to me as it's been growing on me, but it doesn't hurt for me to try to keep on finding impossible ways to make myself grow taller!
She advised me to become rich as well and that even though I'm short, she vaguely implied it wouldn't matter to her as well, if I wanted to pursue her later on. It seems like she also cares about me and is taking a little interest. While I was around other people, I was a little disoriented at first with her being a little taller than me so I was trying to make it look like we aren't a couple, even though it looked like people didn't care if we were.
Since we're both Asian, maybe people can assume we are related as well too, so I guess I have that benefit of the doubt people can also think about too. After a little into having a conversation with her, I just stopped caring about her being taller than me again. I just plain ignored concerns that other people would think I look ridiculous for hanging out with a taller and an attractive woman and that I have no shot with her. I guess it doesn't make sense because the thought of that is actually cool and could make some guys jealous of me being in that position! Yeah, this personal insecurity with being so short doesn't seem to matter so much to me as it's been growing on me, but it doesn't hurt for me to try to keep on finding impossible ways to make myself grow taller!
Thursday, April 19, 2018
Lucky Me
This job I have is a family owned business and has just benefitted with booking a multi-million dollar contract. We are going to be so busy, and we've been lucky to be coming around and stabilizing these days. My dad is the angry CEO and he's crazy and gets on my case a lot even though he tells me he hates doing it, but that's how he micro manages everybody. My sister seems to be doing so well because she doesn't get that very much from my dad.
I accept that my father is a crazy old and angry man who won't ever give up smoking cigarettes, even though he still does that in moderation. He is physically a lot weaker than me and I just walked out on him yesterday while he was going off on talking about something crazy like how I silently expressed myself. I didn't vocalize anything and he was just angered and thinking I was doing something and just went crazy from that. I just told him I didn't really say anything and that he was getting on my nerves and had to take a break. I said it calmly and then my dad got up too and left as well and when I saw his face, he looked so devastated! Yes, I feel like I rocked! I didn't show that facial expression of elation from seeing his depressed looking face. I have to admit though that my dad repeated the comments that made me feel like punching his face, so I said something calmly and walked out from being myself openly. My dad later practically explained to me how he was being crazy in his prideful terms and said to not laugh at him sounding stupid during business hours so he doesn't turn crazy.
Well, the system development is coming around a lot easier than I could imagine. The time I put into it and deliver is seen as normal, even though I try to put on a show that I'm working really hard even though I'm having a blast stimulating my mind reading about off-topic stuff while surfing the web. I guess that inspires me to be productive during those few hours that I actually do really work super hard. I could do a lot more at a less time and that's always the challenge that I want to complete and to just go above and beyond the occasion. Everybody else at my job thinks it's difficult with what I'm doing while just sitting at this computer trying to program and also answering everybody's IT problems with their issues.
I feel like I have a distinct advantage over a good majority of people when it comes to programming. I'm just motivated with coming across a great solution. There's actually a guy I know who is really good and legitimate with his programming skills. He's just one person out of like the 100 programmers I'm acquainted with. I guess it's not that bad, but he struggles too just like I do at times. It's about having programming endurance and getting to the end which is so rewarding when the program finally does what you desire and then a rinse and repeat cycle while getting paid for it, which I'm so lucky to have but the other great programmer I know really doesn't have it to my current knowledge that's ten years old.
I accept that my father is a crazy old and angry man who won't ever give up smoking cigarettes, even though he still does that in moderation. He is physically a lot weaker than me and I just walked out on him yesterday while he was going off on talking about something crazy like how I silently expressed myself. I didn't vocalize anything and he was just angered and thinking I was doing something and just went crazy from that. I just told him I didn't really say anything and that he was getting on my nerves and had to take a break. I said it calmly and then my dad got up too and left as well and when I saw his face, he looked so devastated! Yes, I feel like I rocked! I didn't show that facial expression of elation from seeing his depressed looking face. I have to admit though that my dad repeated the comments that made me feel like punching his face, so I said something calmly and walked out from being myself openly. My dad later practically explained to me how he was being crazy in his prideful terms and said to not laugh at him sounding stupid during business hours so he doesn't turn crazy.
Well, the system development is coming around a lot easier than I could imagine. The time I put into it and deliver is seen as normal, even though I try to put on a show that I'm working really hard even though I'm having a blast stimulating my mind reading about off-topic stuff while surfing the web. I guess that inspires me to be productive during those few hours that I actually do really work super hard. I could do a lot more at a less time and that's always the challenge that I want to complete and to just go above and beyond the occasion. Everybody else at my job thinks it's difficult with what I'm doing while just sitting at this computer trying to program and also answering everybody's IT problems with their issues.
I feel like I have a distinct advantage over a good majority of people when it comes to programming. I'm just motivated with coming across a great solution. There's actually a guy I know who is really good and legitimate with his programming skills. He's just one person out of like the 100 programmers I'm acquainted with. I guess it's not that bad, but he struggles too just like I do at times. It's about having programming endurance and getting to the end which is so rewarding when the program finally does what you desire and then a rinse and repeat cycle while getting paid for it, which I'm so lucky to have but the other great programmer I know really doesn't have it to my current knowledge that's ten years old.
Coming to Acceptance
I think a huge positive for me is that I'm just accepting how things are and including things that still make me mad. I mean I still think those people who got me there are stupid, but it's not really about how I want the way things have to be. I prefer just surrendering control to the ways of the Bible, no matter how evil people think that is. The Bible says not to sin like don't have sex outside of marriage and lie to bear false witness and to loving the Lord and others first over yourself. It's stuff like this that might not even appeal to a natural person.
It's so worth it to me because of the gospel message found in the pages of the Bible. Jesus was the Son of God brought into the world for the sole purpose of paying for our sins that whoever would trust in him would be looked upon by God the Father as righteous and given access into heaven. Jesus is also God Himself, so God sent Himself in the form of being His own Son to minister and live the life of being a physically, limited human. God humbled Himself to walk the Earth like that and let the Son Jesus face the worst way of being killed for capital punishment which is being crucified. Jesus was forced to carry the cross and then had nails hammered onto his palms and expected to die within days from suffocating out of exhaustion of supporting himself on the cross. He was even rejected by the most influential Jewish leaders at the time- Jesus had it so rough with them and his message sent starting with his followers is that Jesus resurrected and managed to leave a heavily guarded tomb that was sealed with a huge boulder. It is taught to be like a hoax to a lot of Jews today. The only crazy thing to marvel is that Jesus' body is not there and can't be found anywhere for all these people crazy for Jesus, like me.
The message is truly life changing at the heart. To have God Himself humble Himself like that to preach onto sinners who were depressed about life at times and no sense of going anywhere and to even minister to the physically afflicted by healing them and having crazy miracles recorded in the Bible that's just unheard of today, Jesus lives and that message and hope of how he will come back someday is sensational. I just don't know enough yet about how Jesus is going to re-establish his kingdom. It could be speculation, but the biggest thing is the resurrection and putting faith in Jesus to give me direction and to study the Bible and live in that manner while being in worship of the Father and to allow God's Word minister to me!
It's so worth it to me because of the gospel message found in the pages of the Bible. Jesus was the Son of God brought into the world for the sole purpose of paying for our sins that whoever would trust in him would be looked upon by God the Father as righteous and given access into heaven. Jesus is also God Himself, so God sent Himself in the form of being His own Son to minister and live the life of being a physically, limited human. God humbled Himself to walk the Earth like that and let the Son Jesus face the worst way of being killed for capital punishment which is being crucified. Jesus was forced to carry the cross and then had nails hammered onto his palms and expected to die within days from suffocating out of exhaustion of supporting himself on the cross. He was even rejected by the most influential Jewish leaders at the time- Jesus had it so rough with them and his message sent starting with his followers is that Jesus resurrected and managed to leave a heavily guarded tomb that was sealed with a huge boulder. It is taught to be like a hoax to a lot of Jews today. The only crazy thing to marvel is that Jesus' body is not there and can't be found anywhere for all these people crazy for Jesus, like me.
The message is truly life changing at the heart. To have God Himself humble Himself like that to preach onto sinners who were depressed about life at times and no sense of going anywhere and to even minister to the physically afflicted by healing them and having crazy miracles recorded in the Bible that's just unheard of today, Jesus lives and that message and hope of how he will come back someday is sensational. I just don't know enough yet about how Jesus is going to re-establish his kingdom. It could be speculation, but the biggest thing is the resurrection and putting faith in Jesus to give me direction and to study the Bible and live in that manner while being in worship of the Father and to allow God's Word minister to me!
Dating Issues
I think the biggest obstacle that really comes to mind for me is how I don't really own a place to begin with. On top of that, I would also love to not have to work so many hours and to also invest some of my time connecting with people. I'm like years behind before I'm able to do so, but I could also be brought up to date in a matter of months for me as well.
I'm fortunate to be blessed by God and to have a job and there's so many privileges that I have in how I could continuously slack off here to a certain degree, but not that much otherwise, I would be really causing problems for the company. I'm pretty much the company's only database system development expert. It's a big deal in how the computer language that is being used is not even being used by my peers.
With how I'm spending my time, I'm really focused on myself and it could still use some adjustments. I guess that's the keyword for me and I just get carried away from distractions all the time. This is something I'm getting more aware of because it's really me just pushing aside things. I guess what I value isn't really that appealing but just normal in general.
I'm fortunate to be blessed by God and to have a job and there's so many privileges that I have in how I could continuously slack off here to a certain degree, but not that much otherwise, I would be really causing problems for the company. I'm pretty much the company's only database system development expert. It's a big deal in how the computer language that is being used is not even being used by my peers.
With how I'm spending my time, I'm really focused on myself and it could still use some adjustments. I guess that's the keyword for me and I just get carried away from distractions all the time. This is something I'm getting more aware of because it's really me just pushing aside things. I guess what I value isn't really that appealing but just normal in general.
Tuesday, April 17, 2018
Interesting Business Development
One of my great friends who I've known for a few years and feels like we've connected so well and likes to flirt with me on occasion, is naturally gifted at convincing people to buy quality brands. It's just that people seem to find favor with her and take their wallets out for her. She really cares for me as well.
What's cool is that she's looking forward to making some passive income. She just completed her real estate license and I seem to have a knack for making money from diversifying my trading portfolio. I might put some of that money I gained from investing into the real estate market by partnering up with her. I'm not quite too sure how I'm going to work out the ownership percentages. Maybe, I could let her be the majority owner because she's so into real estate and I'll just cover the rest and take some profit off of the rent money. I think it's better for me because I would rather let my money sit and just continue to make money for me. I wonder if she will do the same, but with her being the owner, she would want to maintain the house so I can legally profit off of her natural work she puts into it!
This way, I would not just have all my money in the stocks where one day, it could just crash. It would be about maintaining stability and still counting on cash coming into my bank even when I have down days with my stocks. I think this is the way to go and then just do whatever I want with the money and spend it. I'm not just saying this to make myself look like a good guy because I do feel bad about writing those proposals, but I would like to give back to organizations that are committed to carry out with living God's Word.
I'm just one man, so I doubt I would have any influence by coming back to Hope of God Church (a cult) and start bragging about how I became a millionaire and not supporting their ministry because they don't deserve to be rich and I myself being rich would be able to see that! I would be like there are tons of other organizations I'm happy to oblige donating to and they come in dead last with all Christian cult organizations. I'm only saying they are a cult because of Lee there having acted stupid with me and saying she had spiritual authority over me. I'm glad I didn't do much while I was so mad and that I just got a slap on my wrists and it's not even painful anymore. It's just whatever and a waste of complete space in my memories.
Well, I think Chris and Judy left and they were predominant figures of that minimalist weird theologically Christian church. It's on them and Chris sucked in dealing with me. Jarred is sort of off and on there I think and I'm so testy about socking him in the face, but he sucked too in dealing with me. The pastor is just way over himself and it's like he's waiting for me to cuss him out, but I'm not going to. Actually he's pretty weak and sensitive so I'm glad he was like that and I can call him out on it. Revenge is like sweet poop with these people; it would mean absolutely nothing but I'm bound by oath to go there again to God and I cannot break that oath and so might as well show off there when I do go back to get my spiritual money's worth and get the heck out of there!
What's cool is that she's looking forward to making some passive income. She just completed her real estate license and I seem to have a knack for making money from diversifying my trading portfolio. I might put some of that money I gained from investing into the real estate market by partnering up with her. I'm not quite too sure how I'm going to work out the ownership percentages. Maybe, I could let her be the majority owner because she's so into real estate and I'll just cover the rest and take some profit off of the rent money. I think it's better for me because I would rather let my money sit and just continue to make money for me. I wonder if she will do the same, but with her being the owner, she would want to maintain the house so I can legally profit off of her natural work she puts into it!
This way, I would not just have all my money in the stocks where one day, it could just crash. It would be about maintaining stability and still counting on cash coming into my bank even when I have down days with my stocks. I think this is the way to go and then just do whatever I want with the money and spend it. I'm not just saying this to make myself look like a good guy because I do feel bad about writing those proposals, but I would like to give back to organizations that are committed to carry out with living God's Word.
I'm just one man, so I doubt I would have any influence by coming back to Hope of God Church (a cult) and start bragging about how I became a millionaire and not supporting their ministry because they don't deserve to be rich and I myself being rich would be able to see that! I would be like there are tons of other organizations I'm happy to oblige donating to and they come in dead last with all Christian cult organizations. I'm only saying they are a cult because of Lee there having acted stupid with me and saying she had spiritual authority over me. I'm glad I didn't do much while I was so mad and that I just got a slap on my wrists and it's not even painful anymore. It's just whatever and a waste of complete space in my memories.
Well, I think Chris and Judy left and they were predominant figures of that minimalist weird theologically Christian church. It's on them and Chris sucked in dealing with me. Jarred is sort of off and on there I think and I'm so testy about socking him in the face, but he sucked too in dealing with me. The pastor is just way over himself and it's like he's waiting for me to cuss him out, but I'm not going to. Actually he's pretty weak and sensitive so I'm glad he was like that and I can call him out on it. Revenge is like sweet poop with these people; it would mean absolutely nothing but I'm bound by oath to go there again to God and I cannot break that oath and so might as well show off there when I do go back to get my spiritual money's worth and get the heck out of there!
Reaping A Reward From Committing Into Something
I had so much clutter in my room. It was pretty much video game packages that I have never had the time to open and play. They are still practically brand new! I just kept them around as souvenirs for myself and be a reminder that I should eventually get around to designing my own video game and the fear the gets me is that I could be hurting my own career by doing so because what if I ended up with nothing in the end for all of that?
For this reason alone, this is why I developed a keen interest for learning to trade currency to make money and it's awesome because there's almost no barriers to do it with the right middle man. It's pretty much taking my own earned money and making something out of it. It's like I could take some gift and declare myself as unemployed and make something out of it for the loophole! Well, if I wanted to that is.
I will probably have to get around to pay taxes because never know, I could use some unemployment compensation even though I would be technically unemployed from just trading my own hard earned money with other currency and legally getting back the same in return even though some countries would give you more. See the arguing factor of how I wouldn't have to pay taxes with all of this being under the table?
It's so brilliant and legally done while getting away with something that virtually everybody has learned to accept for expenses in living but would rather not, if he or she didn't have to and had personal control over what to do with own earned money. With all this legally tax evasive profit, I could just fund my own video game development hobby and have a blast getting pounded by bigger titles. I would have said that I tried to put my foot in the door with that billion dollar market because I had so much fun growing up as a kid and was such a video gaming junkie. I think I would design titles that would encourage super fun objectives and online socializing. I never really had enough of being that nerdy gamer in the cyber world. I would love for those cyber gamers to have a place where they could just belong, make a comfortable living doing it, and be in happy harmony with the players that matter to them.
For this reason alone, this is why I developed a keen interest for learning to trade currency to make money and it's awesome because there's almost no barriers to do it with the right middle man. It's pretty much taking my own earned money and making something out of it. It's like I could take some gift and declare myself as unemployed and make something out of it for the loophole! Well, if I wanted to that is.
I will probably have to get around to pay taxes because never know, I could use some unemployment compensation even though I would be technically unemployed from just trading my own hard earned money with other currency and legally getting back the same in return even though some countries would give you more. See the arguing factor of how I wouldn't have to pay taxes with all of this being under the table?
It's so brilliant and legally done while getting away with something that virtually everybody has learned to accept for expenses in living but would rather not, if he or she didn't have to and had personal control over what to do with own earned money. With all this legally tax evasive profit, I could just fund my own video game development hobby and have a blast getting pounded by bigger titles. I would have said that I tried to put my foot in the door with that billion dollar market because I had so much fun growing up as a kid and was such a video gaming junkie. I think I would design titles that would encourage super fun objectives and online socializing. I never really had enough of being that nerdy gamer in the cyber world. I would love for those cyber gamers to have a place where they could just belong, make a comfortable living doing it, and be in happy harmony with the players that matter to them.
Friday, April 13, 2018
Interesting App Idea
I feel like I could create an app that would really help me. I'm thinking about writing a program that would take all of my activities and break them into how I'm spending my time. It would be like playing a game than with myself to have the best schedule that I can keep up with.
I love playing games regardless of when it sucks to grind through something for leveling up or not. PVP is definitely a really rewarding experience for me because it gives me a chance to put my skills to the test with another fellow competitor and gain something out of it. What's funny is that from having been so addicted to video games in the past, I wasn't aware that I was really doing all of it for nothing in the end. It's really such a bummer to have so much fun like that and not be compensated for any of it. Only the true winners get the prize in this world and that's how it works everywhere.
From realizing that I won't have fun struggling to always be a top-rated professional gamer, I guess it's not going to work out for me. If I want to have so much fun and independence from my responsibilities and just be carefree, then I'm really going to have to work on myself before I can just let go like that.
Starting with myself, my secret and passion to earning a living after all this time comes from becoming a professional currency and stocks trader. I haven't been able to even keep up with it this whole week from being distracted. My mind is still a little bit on gambling with playing poker. That too is a time consuming activity and it just doesn't feed me that much satisfaction in the first place.
I love playing games regardless of when it sucks to grind through something for leveling up or not. PVP is definitely a really rewarding experience for me because it gives me a chance to put my skills to the test with another fellow competitor and gain something out of it. What's funny is that from having been so addicted to video games in the past, I wasn't aware that I was really doing all of it for nothing in the end. It's really such a bummer to have so much fun like that and not be compensated for any of it. Only the true winners get the prize in this world and that's how it works everywhere.
From realizing that I won't have fun struggling to always be a top-rated professional gamer, I guess it's not going to work out for me. If I want to have so much fun and independence from my responsibilities and just be carefree, then I'm really going to have to work on myself before I can just let go like that.
Starting with myself, my secret and passion to earning a living after all this time comes from becoming a professional currency and stocks trader. I haven't been able to even keep up with it this whole week from being distracted. My mind is still a little bit on gambling with playing poker. That too is a time consuming activity and it just doesn't feed me that much satisfaction in the first place.
How I Fared Yesterday
I'm going to start blogging about my life with attempting to live out the perfect day of accomplishing all of my intended goals. I have really huge plans to succeed in this world and to eventually settle down with a beautiful companion and be open to lots of fun and invite her to have lots of sex with me! I think it's funny to admit that and just write it on here.
I listed about 22 things to do for yesterday and I got stuck at one activity because it led me to go off course with my other objectives. What happened was that I was going through my books, one of them happens to be about computer security and it had a discussion in one section about hackers trying to find working passwords at paid porno sites. It said that it's just for the thrill of hacking and that most prosecutors don't care about giving pornographers that much rights with keeping their money. I ended up searching for adult site passwords and they just didn't work. It pretty much wasted my evening doing that and I felt that it wouldn't be that much fun to learn to hack anyway. It's so time consuming with all of these hack prevention measures that have been taking place over the years. It's very deterring to be a hacker in general and such a drag these days.
I then became turned on all of a sudden and wanted to compare paid porn with free porn. Free porn does its job still and in some ways, it can be better than paying for something. It's because whether I would pay for porn or not, it leaves me feeling not satisfied and wanting more. I'm just like done with looking at women's body parts and it's about time I fell in love already with a beautiful gal and enjoy a lot of physical companionship with her and work at staying married for life.
I listed about 22 things to do for yesterday and I got stuck at one activity because it led me to go off course with my other objectives. What happened was that I was going through my books, one of them happens to be about computer security and it had a discussion in one section about hackers trying to find working passwords at paid porno sites. It said that it's just for the thrill of hacking and that most prosecutors don't care about giving pornographers that much rights with keeping their money. I ended up searching for adult site passwords and they just didn't work. It pretty much wasted my evening doing that and I felt that it wouldn't be that much fun to learn to hack anyway. It's so time consuming with all of these hack prevention measures that have been taking place over the years. It's very deterring to be a hacker in general and such a drag these days.
I then became turned on all of a sudden and wanted to compare paid porn with free porn. Free porn does its job still and in some ways, it can be better than paying for something. It's because whether I would pay for porn or not, it leaves me feeling not satisfied and wanting more. I'm just like done with looking at women's body parts and it's about time I fell in love already with a beautiful gal and enjoy a lot of physical companionship with her and work at staying married for life.
Finding Humor From Embarrassment
I'm going to be straight up and state that I viewed porn while looking for some good looking female body parts. It seems like the face, chest, and body don't always match up in looking great all-around, so yeah, this world isn't perfect in appearance to begin with as well. I guess this is why guys have to settle because they know they can be sexually satisfied or just somehow fell in love with the asymmetrical woman.
I ended up making some dirty confessions at an online chatting site I won't mention while being anonymous. I just typed away while feeling awkward and being honest about it. It was just me with probably like five other perverted guys just staring at the screen or just entering and leaving from not having fun reading about my lamentations with porn and masturbation.
I couldn't help but just start laughing while being the only person actually writing those comments. It would be so unnatural to state all of those things out in the open. I can get pretty brutally honest myself on this blog but I try to find balance with being blunt and sensitive to others around me. Basically, my excuse is that I can say funny stuff while I'm being honest so I just let it rip with everybody. They are quite nice about it with me so far, so I don't seem to be doing that bad then.
I ended up making some dirty confessions at an online chatting site I won't mention while being anonymous. I just typed away while feeling awkward and being honest about it. It was just me with probably like five other perverted guys just staring at the screen or just entering and leaving from not having fun reading about my lamentations with porn and masturbation.
I couldn't help but just start laughing while being the only person actually writing those comments. It would be so unnatural to state all of those things out in the open. I can get pretty brutally honest myself on this blog but I try to find balance with being blunt and sensitive to others around me. Basically, my excuse is that I can say funny stuff while I'm being honest so I just let it rip with everybody. They are quite nice about it with me so far, so I don't seem to be doing that bad then.
Thursday, April 12, 2018
Time Management Issues
These days I am just about accepting how things are and just going with it. I'm pretty open about meeting people and seeing if I could find a spark with a beautiful lady and then get around to settling down with her. I can accept that I haven't really found anyone and it's really quite interesting with the laws of attraction, all you really have to do if you are interested in someone is to just ask her out. If she says no, then that's how it is and just move on from it. If she happens to be a great friend as well then wonderful, no shame in laughing it off with her. This is just how I feel these days and it's very mellow and relaxing.
I happen to be one of those types who don't really want to jump into any relationship right away just for something alluring like sex! My Bible tells me that fornicating is like the worst possible sin anybody can do to him or herself. What's it like to be a rape victim? It's a different circumstance because that was out of your will and this is totally a heart thing so God wouldn't really count that against you, unless that has something dealing with the victim's sexual fetish which is crazy!
From taking my time, I guess I have some really high standards with a woman. I would like her to be hot and a moral person at the same time, which I'm sure is what most guys want but find it to be impossible and just go for settling down from being happy enough which I'm sure there's nothing wrong with it. I just happen to be one of those guys who can wait on a long time and even accept the possibility of never being married. It's not to say that I don't struggle with sexual temptations either while being single. I've been so fortunate as I'm going to say that ever since I decided to go celibate, I haven't lost any cream all this time even though there's an urge to do that still every once in awhile. I can still derive pleasure from being aroused without masturbating, so yeah, I'm weird with my auto-eroticism like I was as a teenager. I just have more knowledge from having read up on feedback from experienced sexual participants so yeah I'm still longing for consistent sex with a very attractive lady someday after marrying her and having so much fun!
Wow, I must be one pretty smart cookie with a decent level of patience and kindness going on. I do love people in general even though I tend to have some annoyances and rage about how to make them suffer peacefully all the time! I have done that with driving people crazy from just repeating the same questions and trying to act nice as possible. It's also rewording the same phrases in different approaches. It drives them crazy if they hate the idea or conversation piece and they told you never to bring it up. It does the same with me, even though I will opt to make some adjustments in time and just be kind to reason and speak my mind out to them. There are others who won't recover fully and just go numb with you, and I can say it's like that for most people I've had some altercation with.
In my experience, most women I've had good interactions with seem to be the most caring and sensitive and accepting when it comes to discussing about these matters; this is why I love being friends with them! It's a personal laughing matter and not bad for me when it comes to talking to guys. On the other hand, I have to be a lot more careful what I say around ladies I'm mad at. It does make others side with the person I'm bothering though, unless I end up becoming very truthful. The truth sets me free and does a whole heck of a lot of damage to opponents especially from the way I approach life. I guess the truth is the way to set the table straight and end the madness for mutually assured destruction (no one wins) in my own social interactions.
I happen to be one of those types who don't really want to jump into any relationship right away just for something alluring like sex! My Bible tells me that fornicating is like the worst possible sin anybody can do to him or herself. What's it like to be a rape victim? It's a different circumstance because that was out of your will and this is totally a heart thing so God wouldn't really count that against you, unless that has something dealing with the victim's sexual fetish which is crazy!
From taking my time, I guess I have some really high standards with a woman. I would like her to be hot and a moral person at the same time, which I'm sure is what most guys want but find it to be impossible and just go for settling down from being happy enough which I'm sure there's nothing wrong with it. I just happen to be one of those guys who can wait on a long time and even accept the possibility of never being married. It's not to say that I don't struggle with sexual temptations either while being single. I've been so fortunate as I'm going to say that ever since I decided to go celibate, I haven't lost any cream all this time even though there's an urge to do that still every once in awhile. I can still derive pleasure from being aroused without masturbating, so yeah, I'm weird with my auto-eroticism like I was as a teenager. I just have more knowledge from having read up on feedback from experienced sexual participants so yeah I'm still longing for consistent sex with a very attractive lady someday after marrying her and having so much fun!
Wow, I must be one pretty smart cookie with a decent level of patience and kindness going on. I do love people in general even though I tend to have some annoyances and rage about how to make them suffer peacefully all the time! I have done that with driving people crazy from just repeating the same questions and trying to act nice as possible. It's also rewording the same phrases in different approaches. It drives them crazy if they hate the idea or conversation piece and they told you never to bring it up. It does the same with me, even though I will opt to make some adjustments in time and just be kind to reason and speak my mind out to them. There are others who won't recover fully and just go numb with you, and I can say it's like that for most people I've had some altercation with.
In my experience, most women I've had good interactions with seem to be the most caring and sensitive and accepting when it comes to discussing about these matters; this is why I love being friends with them! It's a personal laughing matter and not bad for me when it comes to talking to guys. On the other hand, I have to be a lot more careful what I say around ladies I'm mad at. It does make others side with the person I'm bothering though, unless I end up becoming very truthful. The truth sets me free and does a whole heck of a lot of damage to opponents especially from the way I approach life. I guess the truth is the way to set the table straight and end the madness for mutually assured destruction (no one wins) in my own social interactions.
Wednesday, April 11, 2018
Ahhh I see
I'm starting to see that from having had the lack of genuine openness about myself and being withdrawn from certain people, it really was because I wasn't comfortable with my own shell the whole time and developed an inferiority complex. I guess it would be easy to pick on me then for being a bad person when someone is mad and just go off uncontrollably with me from having done anything no matter how minor and major it was.
Everybody isn't perfect to begin with and that's something I have come to realize. I'm not overwhelmed nor baffled by people who are more successful to me because I have the confidence to get to where I want to be. It's going to be a lot of hard work and time consuming, but it's fine because I enjoy it personally.
Therefore, I don't think I have that much of an inferiority complex anymore which mainly came from just feeling so short and rejected by others because of it. I really can accept not being paid attention to and just go with that. I don't really pay attention to those popular people and trends, regardless. I struggled so much with my own body image of not being naturally tall and in a way, it makes me feel a little bummed out but a lot of things do all the time.
From just accepting who I am, I'm completely fine these days with myself and going after improving myself constantly. It's just a matter of proper time management for me because I really do see what the right actions would be for myself, if I could just line it up in that manner and to have consistency. Another thing that's helped is to hang out with more different people consistently and to develop good friendships with ladies. I have learned to even open up with taller ladies, which was pretty difficult for me to do in the beginning.
Overall, it basically doesn't matter that I got blocked on Facebook by several annoying people. They were annoying because they became rude from not wanting to talk about something I was trying to approach nicely with them in dealing with. I should have just opened myself up fully but I wasn't able to tell them and maybe from that, they sensed some sort of weakness and went after attacking my character and being mean. I just didn't want to respond back by being immature with them, so I had a hard time in communicating about it and that's all it was. It's cool I can deal with them acting dumb in that fashion now by just being openly myself and outsmarting them, which I'm fully confident in my ability to be able to do and stay content with myself. It's like a game where two sides just go at it to see who comes up on top that round and sometimes, you are forced into it and just yelling that it's unfair the whole time from having got put into the mess. This is what I believe those dumb nuts were feeling at that time with me trying to talk about what bothers me about them nicely without trying to bully them. They knew something was up and became terrified of me and even said that to others.
I can officially state that since nothing happened to them all this time, they were like "Boy who cried wolf" with me and overly dramatic with really nothing serious. This makes them look like very cheesy people and not that highly valued by me so I might as well stop wasting time dwelling on it when it should have been my part with them that I should have well-played in the first place!
Everybody isn't perfect to begin with and that's something I have come to realize. I'm not overwhelmed nor baffled by people who are more successful to me because I have the confidence to get to where I want to be. It's going to be a lot of hard work and time consuming, but it's fine because I enjoy it personally.
Therefore, I don't think I have that much of an inferiority complex anymore which mainly came from just feeling so short and rejected by others because of it. I really can accept not being paid attention to and just go with that. I don't really pay attention to those popular people and trends, regardless. I struggled so much with my own body image of not being naturally tall and in a way, it makes me feel a little bummed out but a lot of things do all the time.
From just accepting who I am, I'm completely fine these days with myself and going after improving myself constantly. It's just a matter of proper time management for me because I really do see what the right actions would be for myself, if I could just line it up in that manner and to have consistency. Another thing that's helped is to hang out with more different people consistently and to develop good friendships with ladies. I have learned to even open up with taller ladies, which was pretty difficult for me to do in the beginning.
Overall, it basically doesn't matter that I got blocked on Facebook by several annoying people. They were annoying because they became rude from not wanting to talk about something I was trying to approach nicely with them in dealing with. I should have just opened myself up fully but I wasn't able to tell them and maybe from that, they sensed some sort of weakness and went after attacking my character and being mean. I just didn't want to respond back by being immature with them, so I had a hard time in communicating about it and that's all it was. It's cool I can deal with them acting dumb in that fashion now by just being openly myself and outsmarting them, which I'm fully confident in my ability to be able to do and stay content with myself. It's like a game where two sides just go at it to see who comes up on top that round and sometimes, you are forced into it and just yelling that it's unfair the whole time from having got put into the mess. This is what I believe those dumb nuts were feeling at that time with me trying to talk about what bothers me about them nicely without trying to bully them. They knew something was up and became terrified of me and even said that to others.
I can officially state that since nothing happened to them all this time, they were like "Boy who cried wolf" with me and overly dramatic with really nothing serious. This makes them look like very cheesy people and not that highly valued by me so I might as well stop wasting time dwelling on it when it should have been my part with them that I should have well-played in the first place!
Tuesday, April 10, 2018
Interesting Correlation
I haven't really seen cops all week long and so maybe it's because of dealing with tax season or something. It looks like maybe their deadlines to meet quota could have passed. I have heard from a redneck acquaintance who is a cop in his redneck territory of Louisiana that the cops there get paid nicely for writing out speeding tickets. Like it's expected for everybody, I watch my speedometer whenever they pass by. I always feel this slight feeling of uneasiness whenever they pass by; it's like I don't want to be caught up in their mess.
One of my high school buddies is like that and acts all weird about it. He ended up watching YouTube videos talking about how to assert his own rights in defense. He even said that there was a slight chance they could end up pulling out a gun and doing crazy stuff just because they have that power and he doesn't feel at ease with it. He's very observant and has a sensitivity meter at an ultra high with people's expressions. Well, good luck with that because everybody struggles to be happy in this world. He's basically the type who would just lock himself up in his own room and feel depressed all day while trying to cope with it by finding things to occupy up his time.
For my high school buddy, him being open with everybody isn't that appealing like it would be for me. I can go all crazy and be funny and just by using these keywords "crazy" and "angry" on this blog, I feel like I will be seeing a cop today on the road. It feels like someone crazy like Yuri is watching this blog and has connections with her half-effort to become a law enforcer. She thought I was harassing her from trying to pursue after her. She just didn't get it with me and wrote me a lot of obscene comments that make me cringe, so I guess she isn't that smart and there's not much I need to do in dealing with her.
One of my high school buddies is like that and acts all weird about it. He ended up watching YouTube videos talking about how to assert his own rights in defense. He even said that there was a slight chance they could end up pulling out a gun and doing crazy stuff just because they have that power and he doesn't feel at ease with it. He's very observant and has a sensitivity meter at an ultra high with people's expressions. Well, good luck with that because everybody struggles to be happy in this world. He's basically the type who would just lock himself up in his own room and feel depressed all day while trying to cope with it by finding things to occupy up his time.
For my high school buddy, him being open with everybody isn't that appealing like it would be for me. I can go all crazy and be funny and just by using these keywords "crazy" and "angry" on this blog, I feel like I will be seeing a cop today on the road. It feels like someone crazy like Yuri is watching this blog and has connections with her half-effort to become a law enforcer. She thought I was harassing her from trying to pursue after her. She just didn't get it with me and wrote me a lot of obscene comments that make me cringe, so I guess she isn't that smart and there's not much I need to do in dealing with her.
Pushing Aside Curiosities For Priorities
Life changes its temperaments all the time,
It feels like everything is so whimsical like a dime,
What I mean is that trying to see things Biblical can be so cynical!
Keeping things in check can feel like a rhythm,
The things that I want to try out can be so random,
It's hard enough to do this with all my might while being right!
It feels like everything is so whimsical like a dime,
What I mean is that trying to see things Biblical can be so cynical!
Keeping things in check can feel like a rhythm,
The things that I want to try out can be so random,
It's hard enough to do this with all my might while being right!
Monday, April 9, 2018
Different Perspective
I realize that some annoying people like to talk bad about others behind their back and are like "Don't let this out." It makes me laugh now to think about those past moments. It's really irritating to think now that those idiots weren't able to shut up! I was just like a quiet sponge and so defenseless. I was like their pet dog and unconditionally loving with my manners. I hated it so much.
When I cracked all of a sudden and went for a passive aggressive confrontation, they ended up getting terrified of me and called me crazy. It is what I is because I don't need to talk bad about others and compare myself to them with their negatives to make myself feel better. If I were to compare myself to those idiots, then I wouldn't have anything else to say because there is not much to them and they suck already! It would be depressing to feel good because I'm better than them because I have so much more to do in my life. To be filled with the joys of living and to keep on pursuing after accomplishing my goals, this is happiness to me.
It's just basically a waste of time to stay angry with the idiots of my past. I'm realizing this now and that for myself, I learned to be a more open person. What's helped me a lot is to hang with really cool and smart girls. They are cute too and probably sexy sometimes, but the important thing to me is that I learned to be a better person by opening myself up fully and being honest. This forces you to change because by not lying about yourself, you are actually working hard to improve yourself so you are not an idiot yourself. This honesty and improvement factors are very attractive to girls who you first meet and hardly know and actually went on a date with.
The cute girls I've gotten to know over the years have probably settled on me with just being friends and trying to be there for me with support and love and all of that good stuff except for an actual sexual relationship which is totally fine. I don't really need that from them because their company has meant so much to me and just doing cool stuff together, but they also have annoying sides to them as well so I guess that's why I'm so iffy about giving into some sexual temptations with them and just block it out if that ever happens to me.
When I cracked all of a sudden and went for a passive aggressive confrontation, they ended up getting terrified of me and called me crazy. It is what I is because I don't need to talk bad about others and compare myself to them with their negatives to make myself feel better. If I were to compare myself to those idiots, then I wouldn't have anything else to say because there is not much to them and they suck already! It would be depressing to feel good because I'm better than them because I have so much more to do in my life. To be filled with the joys of living and to keep on pursuing after accomplishing my goals, this is happiness to me.
It's just basically a waste of time to stay angry with the idiots of my past. I'm realizing this now and that for myself, I learned to be a more open person. What's helped me a lot is to hang with really cool and smart girls. They are cute too and probably sexy sometimes, but the important thing to me is that I learned to be a better person by opening myself up fully and being honest. This forces you to change because by not lying about yourself, you are actually working hard to improve yourself so you are not an idiot yourself. This honesty and improvement factors are very attractive to girls who you first meet and hardly know and actually went on a date with.
The cute girls I've gotten to know over the years have probably settled on me with just being friends and trying to be there for me with support and love and all of that good stuff except for an actual sexual relationship which is totally fine. I don't really need that from them because their company has meant so much to me and just doing cool stuff together, but they also have annoying sides to them as well so I guess that's why I'm so iffy about giving into some sexual temptations with them and just block it out if that ever happens to me.
Wednesday, April 4, 2018
My Crazy Past Is Just Whatever and Long Gone History
I'm going to just write out all the crazy stuff I did that I can remember. With the wackiness and occasionally psychotic behavior that I did like knocking down a taller and much heavier guy from being mad at him, I can state that I never wound up in jail even though I was handcuffed a few times by cops. I didn't even go down to the police station and they let me go too.
Okay, I'll get back to my wild antics later in my past dealings with random patrol cops and it's just plain weird how I ended up there, and it's probably sad too and just such a tough act to follow. Who knows? I feel so much better to write about everything and just let it out here. This is like my self-help blog and anybody who wants to read it will be tempted by me to get sucked into my own philosophy! I'm joking of course and don't expect something drastic like that.
After all the things that has happened to me and what those people from the past try to do to me now, it just doesn't plain matter anymore. I can sense those people would be terrified of me because of my unrelenting personality and little do they know that I hid my confrontational personality and anger issues towards their rudeness with me while I kept on trying to approach them as a calm adult.
Well the first thing I can expect those people to say is "I don't want to talk about it." All I can respond with is I don't really care that they sucked in how they conducted themselves otherwise they wouldn't care if I brought it up and that they aren't that successful in dealing with people as I thought they were only because of how they conducted with me. Long message short in summary, I just don't care that they are showing some anger issues over their own thoughts which shouldn't even be something they have to care about in the first place and that maybe they should seek some counseling just so they could have a nice cordial talk about themselves while I'm having a good time laughing about how I outdid them like a jerk and funny as I can be. With them in the mode of wanting to give up by then, I don't see them being on the defensive with me. Okay, it's case closed with those dumb people.
Tuesday, April 3, 2018
Okay, Actual Plan
I spent my time digressing about myself with my other posts. It's crazy how that I'm able to really see where I'm coming from and the fact that I'm fully opening myself out there for anyone to come and read this blog, it's amazing with how it's doing me wonders!
A lot of these things I posted are my real true life stories. I guess the story about having an innocent looking church girl go crazy with me would be quite a riot to tell. The problem with it though is that it would probably be a revenge-type deal and just cheap laughs, if I tried to tell the story in the form of a movie. I think I'll just leave it on here and if anybody wants to borrow something from it, then it's on him or her. I don't really need to know about it.
I'm basically looking to work out, read the Bible, make some trades, and then cook something daily. If I make social arrangements with friends, then I will go ahead with doing them. TV and junk food does really get me side-tracked easily. I'm going to have to learn to limit those more often and learn to exercise better self-discipline consistently. In the beginning, I was just too stressed out to even know what the concept of discipline was. Now, I'm so much of an adult about it. I wish I was that disciplined kid in high school because I could have gone a long ways with that in marrying a lot younger than I am now and settling down with kids by now. I have been just missing out on an awesome sex life with a crazy fun marriage. Pornography or googling for very hot women can really side-track me from getting to that point as well.
I think I'm just going to have to shape up and once again just accept that things in the world won't always be happy for me and I will have some down days and that those days are the days where I get to be happy working on my goals while I'm hurting and still thinking about the past that is slowly becoming less of a bother because I'm finding it easier to ignore.
A lot of these things I posted are my real true life stories. I guess the story about having an innocent looking church girl go crazy with me would be quite a riot to tell. The problem with it though is that it would probably be a revenge-type deal and just cheap laughs, if I tried to tell the story in the form of a movie. I think I'll just leave it on here and if anybody wants to borrow something from it, then it's on him or her. I don't really need to know about it.
I'm basically looking to work out, read the Bible, make some trades, and then cook something daily. If I make social arrangements with friends, then I will go ahead with doing them. TV and junk food does really get me side-tracked easily. I'm going to have to learn to limit those more often and learn to exercise better self-discipline consistently. In the beginning, I was just too stressed out to even know what the concept of discipline was. Now, I'm so much of an adult about it. I wish I was that disciplined kid in high school because I could have gone a long ways with that in marrying a lot younger than I am now and settling down with kids by now. I have been just missing out on an awesome sex life with a crazy fun marriage. Pornography or googling for very hot women can really side-track me from getting to that point as well.
I think I'm just going to have to shape up and once again just accept that things in the world won't always be happy for me and I will have some down days and that those days are the days where I get to be happy working on my goals while I'm hurting and still thinking about the past that is slowly becoming less of a bother because I'm finding it easier to ignore.
A Few Major Updates
I guess something I'm going to share upfront is that I've been thinking about my plan of how to conduct myself. I do want to get some killer six pack abs pretty badly and I would also love to not have to show up for work everyday and just do my own thing while making good money from running a smart system very easily and keeping it like a trade secret from everyone. There's a lot of tweaking and it's like never going to be perfect, but I can see enough can be done to secure a reasonable living.
It's really crazy that I'm thinking how I have the ability to do this now and that I'm going after it. I've made so many bad moves like giving money to a person who just kept on texting me how he or she loves me so much and needs thousands of dollars for something serious like mom's surgery and I was just a sucker for that. After uncomfortably cutting the person off because he or she went off character with being cold and not caring, well my mistake was the check that they had asked me to cash bounced and a bank worker had informed me that the check had cleared. It was a subtle red flag that I had overlooked. She really didn't know what she was talking about and it burns because that was a $5000 mistake and there's no way I can sue her because I wasn't paying attention to it. I just have to take the full blow and live with it. Losing $5000 didn't get me bankrupt because I still have another $7000 in my bank account and it's growing from having a decent job so yeah, it's not the end of world but I learned about getting scammed by a gold digger the hard way. I guess that's how it is. I'm like spending $4000 on myself average and to have some money like that left over still for cash flow, I think I could spend a lot less than $4000 on myself from having that out of my paychecks.
The scam artist is long gone and has moved on with phone number being probably broken because I made the right decision to tell him or her off by being loving about it. It was the right decision and I'm happy that I recovered from that crazy incident. Anyway, with additional poor financial management, now I'm seeing how I could manage my time to becoming financially rich! One of the things is to have to accept that this world can be sad and not catering to you sometimes, you just have to roll along with the punches and work hard to go after achieving your happy goals.
In Christ alone, he's the cornerstone and perfect missing piece of my life. I'm glad to have established a growing relationship with him and to be glad to learn and be in worship of him and to be about studying the Bible and maintaining a fellowship with God. This all took awhile to finally put together and understand, so I can see how some of my friends just don't get it or won't ever be in the mood to fully accept the fullness and joy with experiencing happiness in Jesus.
It's really crazy that I'm thinking how I have the ability to do this now and that I'm going after it. I've made so many bad moves like giving money to a person who just kept on texting me how he or she loves me so much and needs thousands of dollars for something serious like mom's surgery and I was just a sucker for that. After uncomfortably cutting the person off because he or she went off character with being cold and not caring, well my mistake was the check that they had asked me to cash bounced and a bank worker had informed me that the check had cleared. It was a subtle red flag that I had overlooked. She really didn't know what she was talking about and it burns because that was a $5000 mistake and there's no way I can sue her because I wasn't paying attention to it. I just have to take the full blow and live with it. Losing $5000 didn't get me bankrupt because I still have another $7000 in my bank account and it's growing from having a decent job so yeah, it's not the end of world but I learned about getting scammed by a gold digger the hard way. I guess that's how it is. I'm like spending $4000 on myself average and to have some money like that left over still for cash flow, I think I could spend a lot less than $4000 on myself from having that out of my paychecks.
The scam artist is long gone and has moved on with phone number being probably broken because I made the right decision to tell him or her off by being loving about it. It was the right decision and I'm happy that I recovered from that crazy incident. Anyway, with additional poor financial management, now I'm seeing how I could manage my time to becoming financially rich! One of the things is to have to accept that this world can be sad and not catering to you sometimes, you just have to roll along with the punches and work hard to go after achieving your happy goals.
In Christ alone, he's the cornerstone and perfect missing piece of my life. I'm glad to have established a growing relationship with him and to be glad to learn and be in worship of him and to be about studying the Bible and maintaining a fellowship with God. This all took awhile to finally put together and understand, so I can see how some of my friends just don't get it or won't ever be in the mood to fully accept the fullness and joy with experiencing happiness in Jesus.
The Past Was No Big Deal
I had trouble socializing with kids and felt depressed at times from watching too much TV. I wanted to be out there in the world and find motivation to study hard and obtain happiness. It was just so hard to not fall into sadness and then just out of the blue, I grew up to be a really sensitive and timid person. This didn't keep me from staying out of trouble, which sucked at times but looking back, I'm glad that I grew out of it and just coming to pure acceptance and the need to continuously improve on myself.
Just thinking about it, it's sort of a waste of time to dwell on them because my life is about moving forward. I totally believe in prayer and waiting on the Lord for answers through studying Scriptures. I think with anything that just bothers me, I guess I will have to just trust that the Lord will deliver me from out of that trouble eventually and just keep on running hard with the faith!
One of the biggest things that I have to keep on reiterating on this blog is that I learned to fully open up and from being this type of person, I don't really push away people, I encourage them to be friendly with me as well. I have learned that the solution to dealing with people from the past who struggled with me and acted very highly irritated towards me and angered me a great deal is to just have fully opened up with them about everything and just tell them what I'm observing on them. I was just like too comatose in a social manner so I guess I was lashed out at over really nothing.
I think there's another key thing that comes into play for becoming a successful person; it's really having selective attention. The people I dealt with became nuts with me and it's never excusable to go crazy from being angry and denying that you are not or just trying to hide that you are raging over nothing really that serious. They felt bad about themselves after trying to deal with me because they knew that I didn't need to talk bad about others to feel good about myself. I influenced them in some ways to try to be socially better people, but this is just a natural thing people do. When I talked, they would have their attention on me to try to find dirt on me or something or just leave it be. It wasn't really serious, but I did scare or anger them a pretty good deal and it's something that they don't want to talk about because it's a topic that highly bothers them and they just don't care with staying stupid about it!
It's okay with them wanting to be jerks because I'm ready for them now and whenever, I'm ready to be confrontational with them and I also happen to have the chance. If not, it's not like the end of the world with being forced to move on anyway. I can find tons of better things to do with my time. It really comes down to choosing to ignore stuff that bothers you while you are raging and conducting yourself under self-control. Over time, it's just going to get to everybody if they keep on having to face it and it will drive them crazy. I was the one being the jerk and driving people crazy because I was so mad at them being inconsiderate with me. Now that I'm aware of all this from opening up, yeah, they really have no counter but to accept me being this funny jerk with them.
I was nice though but because they lost it, they saw things from a different perspective while twisting my words out of having anger and acting with rage and saying that they aren't mad. I see the misdirection there and can counter angry comments now. I'm not going to go intentionally make people mad again, now that I learned what I was doing wrong. It's not like I did anything wrong but I just captured all this negative energy while trying to find my direction. It would have been better for me to not engage them while I was going through that mood because I wasn't opening up to them about my confrontational personality. I totally understand what happened and they lost it with me in the end with me outdoing them anyway on the long run, and it's not bad for them to go quiet with me and root for me while they stay in their place. I'm going after self-improvement in my life and they are not doing it enough, which is the difference.
Just thinking about it, it's sort of a waste of time to dwell on them because my life is about moving forward. I totally believe in prayer and waiting on the Lord for answers through studying Scriptures. I think with anything that just bothers me, I guess I will have to just trust that the Lord will deliver me from out of that trouble eventually and just keep on running hard with the faith!
One of the biggest things that I have to keep on reiterating on this blog is that I learned to fully open up and from being this type of person, I don't really push away people, I encourage them to be friendly with me as well. I have learned that the solution to dealing with people from the past who struggled with me and acted very highly irritated towards me and angered me a great deal is to just have fully opened up with them about everything and just tell them what I'm observing on them. I was just like too comatose in a social manner so I guess I was lashed out at over really nothing.
I think there's another key thing that comes into play for becoming a successful person; it's really having selective attention. The people I dealt with became nuts with me and it's never excusable to go crazy from being angry and denying that you are not or just trying to hide that you are raging over nothing really that serious. They felt bad about themselves after trying to deal with me because they knew that I didn't need to talk bad about others to feel good about myself. I influenced them in some ways to try to be socially better people, but this is just a natural thing people do. When I talked, they would have their attention on me to try to find dirt on me or something or just leave it be. It wasn't really serious, but I did scare or anger them a pretty good deal and it's something that they don't want to talk about because it's a topic that highly bothers them and they just don't care with staying stupid about it!
It's okay with them wanting to be jerks because I'm ready for them now and whenever, I'm ready to be confrontational with them and I also happen to have the chance. If not, it's not like the end of the world with being forced to move on anyway. I can find tons of better things to do with my time. It really comes down to choosing to ignore stuff that bothers you while you are raging and conducting yourself under self-control. Over time, it's just going to get to everybody if they keep on having to face it and it will drive them crazy. I was the one being the jerk and driving people crazy because I was so mad at them being inconsiderate with me. Now that I'm aware of all this from opening up, yeah, they really have no counter but to accept me being this funny jerk with them.
I was nice though but because they lost it, they saw things from a different perspective while twisting my words out of having anger and acting with rage and saying that they aren't mad. I see the misdirection there and can counter angry comments now. I'm not going to go intentionally make people mad again, now that I learned what I was doing wrong. It's not like I did anything wrong but I just captured all this negative energy while trying to find my direction. It would have been better for me to not engage them while I was going through that mood because I wasn't opening up to them about my confrontational personality. I totally understand what happened and they lost it with me in the end with me outdoing them anyway on the long run, and it's not bad for them to go quiet with me and root for me while they stay in their place. I'm going after self-improvement in my life and they are not doing it enough, which is the difference.
It's Okay, Accepting And Progressing Forward
The crazy memories I have that make me basically think one big fat word - FAIL and tempts me to keep on saying swear words built up because all of those past memories can just fly by me in one sit-and-go, I think they are all funny now to still have to live with! Oh well, I didn't mean to be that way and I'm still in the mood for loving everybody so I guess I can still praise the Lord and live my life intending on worshipping Jesus with all my heart.
It's just the way things went and besides me being so mad about how everything happened, it's still funny! I'm going to keep on improving myself and that's about it. One of the biggest physical blessings and of help to me really come from being great friends with ladies! They text and show their approval or affection and that's great because I can write a whole ton and joking around with the ladies via texting is so much fun. They are also so cool and a class act to hang out with, so having that to fall back on after all of this silliness and craziness from pretty retarded people who mask themselves as trying to look smart, my life really isn't that bad and I give shout outs to mainly the Lord. I could sure use some more Bible passages to study and learn so I can allow my heart to open up and listen to God speaking to me!
The Christian faith is so reasonable and justifiable which is cool. It's not some random hocus-pocus and believe-in-magic type of deal. It's way more than that; it's about having an authentic relationship with Jesus and it comes through knowing and living out the Scriptures. What better way to find a true fulfillment to all our desires and have a spiritual calling that we have set our hearts on and to be joyful because of having this fellowship with the Lord!
Have an Actual Date- Not Carried Over April Fools
I actually have a date for a guy who is only 5' 3" and old at the age of 34. I pay my mom pseudo-rent money to live with her and then I run off and spend my time sleeping over at my friends' houses for free on the weekends. My mom is like I have to let her know; I was like if I was on my own do I have to let her know? My mom is like no and then I'm like good and I still do that with not calling my mom when I spend the weekends over at my friends' places.
So for a short and pretty old guy to have a date with a taller lady who wants to settle and has a nice job, I guess I didn't know it came down to this by me just having a connection with my dad and working in the I.T. field. I'm thinking while going on a date with this taller lady and who isn't even chubby by the way and she's Asian too while wanting to settle down with a guy, is she going to be the one? I'm not there yet and have to figure out if living with a taller girl which I don't mind anymore is even going to be a deal. I let a shorter girl than me know that I was dating this taller girl and the shorter friend seemed to not care a whole deal about our heights!
If it becomes her concern or she just backs out, then I'm not chasing after her, I'll just let her go. There's no point at that time to even concern myself and just let it be! I wasn't even stalking Lee by the way and just bugging her by bringing up the same subject that made no sense to me. I kept asking her the same questions and she would just get mad about it and start yelling "I told you already." I guess she got so fed up by it that she ended up putting a restraining order on me. I even submitted to it for the three year mark. Lee being Lee pulled off a Lee and e-mailed something that included me in her e-mail list to go visit a website that she really likes and to buy some goods- Lee being Lee was an idiot during that three year mark!
I came back after it was over and you can bet your socks off that I couldn't sock Lee in the face because she's a girl! I ended up throwing a Jehovah Witness Bible at a Christian pastor who leads her at that church and this girl Lee was saying that she has spiritual authority over me. I just didn't get her. She didn't even bust out the Bible and show me verses; she just told me plain verbally that she had authority over me and then put a restraining order on me because she couldn't handle something about me.
So for a short and pretty old guy to have a date with a taller lady who wants to settle and has a nice job, I guess I didn't know it came down to this by me just having a connection with my dad and working in the I.T. field. I'm thinking while going on a date with this taller lady and who isn't even chubby by the way and she's Asian too while wanting to settle down with a guy, is she going to be the one? I'm not there yet and have to figure out if living with a taller girl which I don't mind anymore is even going to be a deal. I let a shorter girl than me know that I was dating this taller girl and the shorter friend seemed to not care a whole deal about our heights!
If it becomes her concern or she just backs out, then I'm not chasing after her, I'll just let her go. There's no point at that time to even concern myself and just let it be! I wasn't even stalking Lee by the way and just bugging her by bringing up the same subject that made no sense to me. I kept asking her the same questions and she would just get mad about it and start yelling "I told you already." I guess she got so fed up by it that she ended up putting a restraining order on me. I even submitted to it for the three year mark. Lee being Lee pulled off a Lee and e-mailed something that included me in her e-mail list to go visit a website that she really likes and to buy some goods- Lee being Lee was an idiot during that three year mark!
I came back after it was over and you can bet your socks off that I couldn't sock Lee in the face because she's a girl! I ended up throwing a Jehovah Witness Bible at a Christian pastor who leads her at that church and this girl Lee was saying that she has spiritual authority over me. I just didn't get her. She didn't even bust out the Bible and show me verses; she just told me plain verbally that she had authority over me and then put a restraining order on me because she couldn't handle something about me.
Going On A Date
I guess I have been approached by some dumb guys and they asked me if I have a girlfriend. I'm like no, I'm too short. They are like why do you have to worry? It's because I'm secretly hiding that I don't want to talk to them. It doesn't make any sense, I know. I honestly felt for the longest time that being short was my kryptonite. I was letting it bring me down and it still does but in much less fragments this time around.
The biggest key for me has been acceptance with "hot or not" girls rejecting me for any reason. Maybe, the not girl doesn't like me because I'm too short and she wants to be with a hot guy while thinking to herself she's a really hot girl. I think some people tell her that she could be hot at a level of skin-deep superficial; I guess those guys are meant for her than but not me.
I just accept it now and don't really care about that stuff now. I'll just keep on working on myself and staying busy. Making progress out of it is what is really attractive I guess. I am a computer programmer and really not that bad at it either. I'm very lucky to have this skill that is coveted by some working in other industries.
The biggest key for me has been acceptance with "hot or not" girls rejecting me for any reason. Maybe, the not girl doesn't like me because I'm too short and she wants to be with a hot guy while thinking to herself she's a really hot girl. I think some people tell her that she could be hot at a level of skin-deep superficial; I guess those guys are meant for her than but not me.
I just accept it now and don't really care about that stuff now. I'll just keep on working on myself and staying busy. Making progress out of it is what is really attractive I guess. I am a computer programmer and really not that bad at it either. I'm very lucky to have this skill that is coveted by some working in other industries.
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