I think I'm getting a small reminder from trying to tune into the Bible daily. I'm just letting my mind wonder off sometimes and let my daily imagination play itself out. Sometimes, there's a little rage and that's pretty much the worst part of it. I end up just blurting out bad sentences that I don't normally say around others. I'm driving in my car and hopefully nobody has this car bugged to the point they can listen to my moody and personal pep talks. Okay, it might be very embarrassing since it is actually quite funny. I can see why a lot of good comedians rely on cursing to make others laugh.
For the most part, I'm doing good with holding it together. When I do listen to the Bible and hear something so profound and it makes me relate it to my past church issue and how I'm siding with what they did was wrong and how I'm going to present and justify it to them for some laughs; I can't really space out with all the fun I'm having without ignoring the next couple verses!
It's just a small reminder to me that life is going to keep on going and that possibly those distractions could hold you back a little, so you have to be on your toes and alert much as you can. The Book of Proverbs is very attention grabbing and so good. It's like listening to the ultimate self-help guide. I think when I'm having a Bible listening session then I should really be about focusing to take in much as I can now, instead of letting myself connect with and stay glued to my angry or hilarious thoughts. The difference between an insane and sane person is that there's voluntary control to the amount that gets filtered from the head. If it's going on repeat and the person has to keep on apologizing while feeling bad about it, then yes it would be common sense to think he or she should find a therapist!
For myself, I didn't really feel bad for how I acted out every once in awhile towards the people I kept on bothering. I apologized to them repeatedly and it's only because I still wanted to get along with them. They naturally thought I was crazy though, but they didn't notice that I observed they were having a hard time with being people they didn't want to be from resorting to angry outbursts. The Book of Proverbs says not to make friends with angry people, or else you can expect yourself to be put into some folly. It's true because that's where I ended up momentarily until I separated myself from them. Also, Proverbs mentions a fundamental with how applying knowledge and understanding will bring favor upon you, and it took some time for me to acquire this to gain reasonable confidence to be able to deal with them now.
