Everything I've done has a purpose and the times I have been mad, I was going through a mental breakdown. The reason why I didn't act upon those crazy thoughts is because I'm just too nice. I'm really selfish to the point of wanting to be judged as the nicest person in the world. It just feels too good to ever drop it for me.
Gaining a lot of confidence was just part of it, but there's another thing I picked up on. It's having gone through personal realizations. I don't really care about the past from being so nice that it doesn't bother me. I was going through mental breakdowns from how these crazy people were behaving so bad with me. I don't really care what their issues were with me. I'm not offended by that and don't mind being the one to initiate upon renewing friendship. This isn't dwelling on the past. This is about looking onward into the future. This is about having selfish goals met, which is feeling like I'm the nicest person in the world from gaining friendship with these crazy people!
This is all there is to it. I've just learned they are crazy because they were going through so many mental breakdowns and consistently too from being so frustrated about something that had nothing to deal with between us. This doesn't bother me and I'm so nice that I can let their past behavior that made me feel a lot of grudge all leave me. I'm not even thinking about the past in that common manner anymore.
I'm pretty much a selfish goody two shoe and happy to be one! Now I understand how they were seriously being crazy with me, and how my feelings really come into play. I'm really different and perceived differently, which can make me a negative catalyst for more mental breakdowns of others. It's something I have come to accept now, and how I can sympathize that it scares some people from wanting to hang out with me.
I gained my constant happiness from reaching never ending confidence and being satisfied with it. I'm happy being a single man still and will probably be happier once I have met the right lady to marry.
