Understanding My Dating Pattern

Out of necessity, I've learned to be blunt with others and it's helped me to open up about myself and improve better as a person. I'm so big on gaining self-improvement and personal realizations. 

Man, I should have been a lot nicer to girls in the past and try out the whole dating process to begin with. I didn't even have a grip of myself yet, but now I do and figure that proper communication and self-control are really the key points. I've become quite decent at standing firm and arguing with valid points about my personal beliefs. For example, I truly believe that I am a man with genes who has the average American height even though I came out to be short. I have large feet and broad shoulders for my short height which would match the average American man's height. Men in general who have large feet and wide shoulders are known to have at least regular height. 

This is actually positive for me and I know that a lot of ladies want to date a taller man out of some insecurity. This is why I'm pointing it out! 

For all the good guys out there who are short, I want to make it a lifelong purpose to maintain a great intimate relationship with a beautiful lady. This is payback for all the shallow and/or insecure ladies who never wanted to give any short man a chance and date a tall man instead who ended up not treating her right. They had an opportunity but ended up losing it with me, including my soulmate! I know we are so right for each other, but she has too much baggage and it's only head knowledge to me with her being my ideal mate. 

My soulmate will always be amazing to me regardless of whatever her faults are, but I've made the decision to never pursue her because I think it's going to be easy finding someone better than her by just a hair. This is a unique personal idea because it's sensible to believe the majority will never guess this has any possibility and be closed-minded about it. 

My plan is to just go for it with women who have the right personality, project themselves to be compatible, and have some common interests. Looks don't really mean a thing to me anymore. I only don't want her to be too fat and lazy. My two questions that I want to find out with a lady I'm interested in is if she's taken and if she's single, then seeing if she's interested in dating me also. That's pretty much it!  My screening process isn't really about physical attraction and only looking for a possible match at the personality and compatibility level, so I can easily accept her rejection if she doesn't feel comfortable. After all, I'm not having a hard time over the thought of leaving behind my soulmate. 

For the time being with dating, it needs to be only girls within my ethnicity until I've grown enough financial security that I can piggyback myself without support of anyone because it's frowned upon by my parents to marry another nationality. I don't really mind, but it's only on the condition of raising these funds on my own that I'll feel very comfortable about pursuing this possible end. I don't still need to maintain a close relationship with my selfish parents. They can call me selfish or whatever for not pleasing them, but I don't need to be around that lack of approval and go on living my happy life that they still have some trouble doing themselves from time to time. I think they would even benefit from seeing a therapist, if I end up going along this path. 

Realizing Something

My mental health is better than ever. This is probably the most amount of comfort I felt ever since taking on a tough road of burying my feelings as a kid and occasionally letting it out while rough housing other boys! I was also a silly and crazy little kid who just tried his hardest to stay quiet because I thought it was just being nice. 

It became a problem eventually though because I wasn't socializing and feeling bothered by it. It turned into so much social anxiety with wanting to just fit in and relate to others. It was really hard for me to relax considering that I lived in a predominantly White and Hispanic neighborhood. 

Getting all this stuff settled happened out of nowhere for me. It happened from just practicing self-confidence with a positive mindset and maintaining a willing spirit. It didn't happen overnight but the buildup just feels consistently good. Even sometimes when I feel like I'm having a little off-day, it doesn't bother me as much anymore. I have so much confidence underneath me that I'm just not bothered. I'm not even a shallow person anymore either with the friends I hang out with. I don't wish for better-looking girls to be my good friend and put off negative body energy around my homegirls anymore. I'm happy for who they are and care about them to the point of being protective over them even if they aren't my type.  

I'm just happy to have found the right people to be like the right pieces for me. Even if it feels scarce for me, it's just enough to work with because I have at least one to go with so far. Now, it's about finding a good girl who will become my life partner. 

Dedicating Personal Time

I think I need to be more committed when I'm about to fall asleep by just pushing myself into action. This is probably what I have been lacking all this time. I'm pretty much a natural procrastinator until I get something turned into a routine.

I believe that I just need to inspire myself with something daily and then push myself to succeed while I'm so sleepy. There's definitely a limit to how much I can do though, but this is pretty much the gist of my life so far and what I'm working on dealing with. 

What I Need to Work on

I'm falling asleep too early before finishing all my desired, daily tasks. I shouldn't be working on my sofa all relaxed in the evening because that's when I'll doze off and not wake up until the wee hours. I don't know but I think I should drink a cup of coffee to stay up a little more.  

I'm going to have to be more committed to my time management. My daily To-Do list is starting to get more pronounced and actively followed. 

Things to Do

Well I'm going to see a baseball game this weekend. I know it's already the new year by the time this post rolls around, but I wrote this towards the end of September of last year. It's crazy how weird this feels right now as I'm writing this sentence. Call it Deja vu soon? Of course, most of these posts will feel that way for me.

I want to work on profiting off cryptocurrency more often now. The high volatility with a proper strategy might be great for making some huge profit and getting to my millionaire goal as soon as possible. 

I still believe in diversifying risk so I'm also spreading out my trading portfolio into stocks and Forex. 

I want to start researching on the best app I can use to build some muscle, which would be much like getting a personal trainer while working out on my own. 

It's also great to have an idea for still trying to make myself grow taller as I'm reaching middle age. I still feel young underneath and have more maturity to work with. It's nice energy to work off of.  

I do need to repeat my daily routine of personal maintenance twice a day. 

Another thing for me is to start reading most of my books.

Lastly, I want to cook some meals as well.

My soulmate just started a new relationship and since we're good hangout buddies, I got her to agree with me on taking a break from each other. I'm happy for her relationship, but still mad about how it rubbed off me. I need some time to get it cleared off of my head. It's really causing me to have a ton of motivation to succeed on my main goal and then find a girlfriend I can be happy with as fast as possible. 

This is going to be challenging in general but I do need to keep up with great mental health. What's helping me is keeping my faith in Jesus, along with a positive and confident attitude. 

Staying Happy

Something that I came across yesterday is such an important lesson. Eleanor Roosevelt said that happiness is not a goal but only a by-product. 

This gets me thinking that pursuing after a goal makes me happy already. Once I've obtained it, then I know it's going to still feel good to dabble on until I find another personal thing to work on. I think I've finally mastered the art of staying happy. 

At the base of my constant joy is really trusting upon a gracious and merciful Savior who is Jesus. I profess to believe in him as God's only Son who came into this world by a virgin birth through the womb of Mary. I'm not ashamed to stick to this belief even if it's outlawed somewhere and they manage to catch me while I go into hiding! With these belief systems, nothing should ever be outlawed. The fact that Christianity has been bruised up so much by sensitive world leaders in the past even during times of peace says something already. 

I think it's wrong to discriminate against Muslims as well even if my beliefs are different from theirs. I just don't believe in some of their sects that believe in forcing everyone to convert to Islam or else go out with a humiliating death. In contrast, the current Christianity in this world all associates with being peaceful like we've all adapted with differences. I don't really know of any Christian groups right now who collectively place their interests first and want to use violence. Jesus doesn't teach this in the Bible. 

Figuring Out My Dream

My dream right now is to be able to make a lot of money as an investor and swing trader and then not have to show up at the office everyday to put in long hours for work. I want to enjoy my freedom and pursue other personal interests like traveling, cooking, enhancing my health, dating, and doing crazy volunteer work for a noble cause that just feels awesome!

I'm lucky to the point of having a ballsy and sometimes crazy dad who stuck with something and put food on the table and is able to provide me a cushy job opportunity at his insistence. I don't really need him, but it does feel a bit nicer while I'm still trying to figure out my life options.

My passions have changed and I'm not really so much into programming anymore. I want to only keep on doing it as a job because I think it's always fun to work on overcoming it if something gets stressful and then get paid for it later! 

Finding Better Focus

I really want to get better at swing trading and investing for financial security. This is pretty much all I care about for my occupation. I'm ready to leave this day job and then start dating whoever I end up making a romantic connection with while trying to help make this world a better place. At the same time, I want to have a lot of fun! 

I'm going to have to earn this by working hard for it and doing the best I can with being smart about what I mainly want to focus on. It's really coming down to proper time management. 

Pursuing After a Dream

I don't think there's really anything wrong with marrying a God-fearing woman who also happens to want the same thing with me. My parents want to add in cultural significance and have grandchildren to fulfill their life goals. It's a crazy and annoying thing to me. They never did enough to get what they wanted out of me.

Thinking about it, I want to live my own life since I'm all grown-up and confident about how I want to live my life. I don't care about interracial marriages; despite having been brought up around a culture that heavily discourages it. The worst outcome I can imagine is not being given any financial support, and they might see it like it's bad karma upon me. I want to avoid this scenario by building financial security for myself.

My dream is to not have to rely on my parents for anything regarding financial needs and to thrive at least ten-fold without obtaining any favors from them. This means that I would be able to comfortably walk out on them while not caring about any of their selfish belief systems. 

I want to make the world a better place while having a ton of fun as well. I don't believe in harming individuals and want to continue putting in the effort to live a clean and healthy life. 

Making It Easy to Figure Out

I really need to get my own place so I can start enjoying my personal life better, especially with getting myself onto the dating scene. My mom isn't really that cool of a person and gets nosy while caring too much about any lady I hang out with. 

Well, it's no big deal buying dinner for just one female friend I hang out with even if it isn't any date. It's pretty much an agreement of going out so I don't even consider it anything if I'm not interested in her. I guess it's good practice to work on being a gentleman and since I can afford it, no matter how annoying it feels that she keeps forgetting to pay me back. What's cool for me is that I'm no longer caring so much about a lady's physical appearance. It's really her personality and life-style choices that I'm more concerned about. I really just need to carry myself with a ton of personal confidence and positive energy while making proper connections with an honest girl who I can settle down with someday. 

I think the real trick now is combining proper Forex and cryptocurrency trades to build a lot of wealth that I can keep clean and consistent with the advice of an investing firm I'm sticking with. 

Putting in the Focus

It looks like I am able to fully entrust an investing group that does its own research to build upon my wealth. It's been reliable for me and saves a lot of time with making extra money on the side. 

I really want to focus on profiting off of very high volatility while not having to put that much time into monitoring it. It looks like mastering Forex and cryptocurrency are the best answers for me since they are both easily liquidable and don't require that much capital to get going with it. My main strategy is to keep risking the least amount of money to come up with something that works consistently. I'm applying creativity based on the ideas I remember getting myself exposed to. 

Hopefully, I'll reach a nice trend of consistently profiting someday.  

Staying Focused

I think it's a great time for me to work hard and do the best I can to make some money on the side for some financial security, so I can go off and feel like I'm able to conquer the world. I no longer feel any lack of confidence with what I really want to do and don't even feel that much disappointment while dealing with any failures. If it relates to what I want to still accomplish then it's only going to keep on motivating me to get there now.

I honestly think I messed it all up as a kid while not having that much direction and understanding of my life. I don't think that's the case so much anymore. Overall, even though I can look like a really short guy, I don't feel it's really all that bad for me. I want to continue improving myself and maintaining a positive attitude to the point that I'm not even bothered by it anymore.  

I want to stop feeling even a little remotely bothered by how short I am. I don't think it matters in the long term, if I'm still able to hold it together for myself while managing to make stronger breakthroughs and stay happy. 

Working Efficiently as Possible

I now feel that it's urgent for me to reach my main personal goal as fast as possible, so I don't leave my soul friend/soulmate hanging. These emotions are from being sensitive about how she's dating someone and I don't yet. I also want to reach my goals, so I think this is helping me with giving me that extra push I need to stay vigilant. 

I'm not feeling impatient about all of this and willing to keep myself pushing forward. It can also be that I need a break from my special friend.  

Becoming More Productive

Since I've found out my ideal type who I'm already great friends with and is my soulmate, I'm not interested in pursuing her if she ever becomes single again. I want to try finding someone who is a tad better than her. I think this will make me really happy, and I know what to look for mainly that's going to work for me so it's nice that I can treat her like the dating standard for me. Another thing that I want to try for is looking for someone a little younger than her as well to possibly have more healthy kids. 

I don't think I need to fool around now by searching online for images of attractive ladies since looks don't really matter that much to me. I will just work on being serious about fulfilling my main personal goal because it's a stepping stone for me to build my full confidence for finding a good partner. 

What I Need to Work on

I keep on forgetting to do my nightly cleanup like brushing my teeth before going to bed. I have been just falling asleep somewhere while sitting on something and then hours can whiz on by sometimes. One of my friends thinks I have a gift because she constantly wakes up early! I thought things might be changing a bit with her having a boyfriend now, but I guess it's not anything too much different still. 

It also makes some weird sense in that this friend of mine is my soulmate. I don't even want to associate as a third wheel nor even travel with them anywhere. She's the one who likes to invite me to go out with them. I'm like no way each time. After the first couple times, I started focusing on why I'm so uncomfortable with them and told her everything about it. Another friend thinks I'm brave, but it's just because I'm also soul buddies with my soulmate! 

I've mentioned already that we both don't want to be lovers and I'm the one saying she's my soulmate. She and I have agreed that we are absolute soul friends. I think with her being a soul friend, it's also part of the reason for her being my soulmate. For me to be happy, I just need to find a person who is a little better than my absolute one and only soulmate and then this person is technically better than my soulmate! I'm not going to say better soulmate but just better than my soulmate which just makes it feel so much better for me. 

Two Main Things for Resolving Stupid Conversations

For the pre-step, I guess it helps to be able to already accept what you are going into and then hear the other person start saying that he thinks you are really crazy. This didn't bother me. I told him that I know he doesn't like it. He said he's not bothered by it. I told him then there's no need to say anything negative about it. He didn't say anything after and then I said we can take this personal matter to higher ups which he declined. I ended up winning the verbal sparring match while he looked like a dork. 

To make things flow so smoothly like that for yourself, you have to be able to 1.) put in the effort to communicate properly and 2.) just be yourself. It's really that simple or maybe it's just being myself that I like to feel how I whooped someone at a stupid conflict. 

Interesting Standard for Romance

I have come to learn that a really good friend and yes, she already knows about it is my one and only soulmate. We can be lovers if we both wanted to, but we don't. We are still like the greatest of buddies who are out there. It's like we were meant for each other to be this way, and how it must be fate that we both discovered each other. 

She's my standard with a person I'm looking to partner up with. I'm interested in trying to find someone who is a little better than her. I think I'll be really happy if I do for the 

Staying in Touch With Reality

I think my reality right now is reaching my main goals. Along the way, I'm starting to make some significant progress with people and it looks like I can still break the bad ones from my past conflicts I feel bothered by. 

Man, I have some power to break people more than I do with lifting them up. I guess it's just a matter of being in the mood for spraying some salt or black pepper.  

Email to Friend Who I Fired as My Dating Coach

Hey [female friend],

Looking back I now think it was messed up that you thought I was like a brother to you and asking me to be my dating coach. It's not right and failure is already waiting to happen. You were already giving off some type of negative energy there with your friend lol.

It would be better if you coached a guy who really needs it from you and is good looking enough to you like [weird, good-looking friend]. He won't ever accept your offer though no matter how hard you try lol. Guys like [my weird, good-looking friend] who are interested in getting a dating coach and have a blank slate with you. I think those are the guys you should be finding. 

It shouldn't ever be your guy friends who you think are like brothers lol. 

For myself, I found my soulmate. We can be lovers if we both want to, but we don't. I can just talk to her about dating for free lol. 

Working Hard to Gain Goals

My number two goal after reaching my first one is finding myself a better partner than my soulmate! I'm glad that I'm lucky enough to have found her but she's been in a lot of failed relationships and I'm not always physically attracted to her. We can seriously be lovers if we both wanted to but we don't. She's dating another person right now, and I think that guy might not be as lucky as he thinks. 

We recently celebrated his birthday at her place and then I felt like they were going to do some of that intimate couple business while she insisted on me spending the night. She said that he was going to leave but then they ended up laying down in bed together and she said they were just talking. I was originally in her guest room, but then I was like no way, I'm out of here after hearing them!

My next goal will be finding a better partner than my only soulmate. She's going to be forever my only human soulmate while I'm alive. It might be hard to understand, but that's how I want to just run it for myself. I don't think it's going to be an impossible task, so I guess I'm making my soulmate a standard for me to surpass in finding a partner to be happy for the rest of my life. I'm starting to become pretty open about dating anybody and being patient about it, so it's going to be interesting to find out more about the ladies who tend to be attracted to me since I used to be really shy about dating. I also don't care about being rejected because that will only annoy me more and motivate me to find a better partner than my forever and only human soulmate!

Going With Main Goals

I'm finally understanding the type of player I am with making money. I want to make a living off of being a low maintenance, zero-sum game player. I don't need any recognition of how much I made; neither do I need social contact with people while doing work. 

For maintaining happiness in my personal life, I think it's really all about continually striving for something and working on having good communication. I do have my faith in Jesus though and still want to practice the Christian life even if mine isn't the ideal, religious type anymore. I'm just listening to a pure Bible recording whenever I get the chance since it's like the same thing as going to a worship service for me. I like to tune in and let my mind wander off sometimes. I'm also cool with staying supportive and hanging out with my less dedicated friends who are believers. 

I think I've already had several moments to share my faith with unbelieving friends. Even if the discussion and examination of my life might only be so brief, I hope it does positively influence them to trust in Jesus someday. I think I should say a few prayers or more, but I'm so non-judgemental with my friends about their lifestyle choices and pretty easygoing. 

Finding Motivation from Irritating Circumstances

It's now apparent to me and about time that I'm feeling irritated at sensing some unfairness directed towards me. I'm ready to even feel more resolved with fulfilling what I want to do quicker.

I'm going to start using these emotions to propel me to greatness with my obtaining my main goals. I'm noticing that I can still work around my current ailments and find something to improve upon even if it takes me a while. 

If anything now, it's like if I'm rejected by a girl I want to try dating then I'm only going to feel greater resolve to get there so I won't be giving up on finding someone else who is supposedly better for me. I have the total self-confidence and enough positivity under my belt to work hard for it even though I'm a short guy which is going to be already naturally rejected by several ladies. My only defense is that I'm very confident I have normal genes based on my physical appearance.  

Maybe my soulmate isn't that great of a person from what she likes to call herself and being sometimes full of it. Yet, she's my soulmate and I'm never letting that go forever. It's just that I don't need to be with her to be happy. 

Current Outlook

I'm now taking a more practical approach. As of this moment, I'm feeling very irritated to the point of being motivated to complete my intended goals faster.

What happened to me is that my soulmate ended up finding someone else to date. She's been giving me mixed signals and now frankly, I'm ready to just move on from her. She's always going to be my soulmate which is only buddy based, but still, I believe that a soulmate's a soulmate so it means the same thing to me. 

I know that I don't need to be with her to be happy and I believe that I can do better. I'm just more motivated from being irritated to be on the move and finish my goals quicker. She may have been giving me mixed signals which I decided not to talk about but it's like maybe flash forward, a few years later if I find someone else more attractive and nicer than her to be partners with then I'm going to stay happy.

For the time being, what I want to work on is having better communication with people so I'm going to start discussing these thoughts with my soulmate. To me a soulmate is just a title given to only one person and she has it forever with me. We're confirmed at the soulmate friend level but I'm just going to give her the title soulmate since it means the same thing to me. It shouldn't be too hard to accept that based on my current belief, I can at least meet someone better than my soulmate! 

Main Method of Making Money

It looks like I'm going to be doing the best I can to net my first $10 K profit with the tools I have now. So far, I am making some return while having about $20 K invested. With the current rate of growth, I will need to save and accumulate about a $100,000 portfolio before I proceed to take it to the next level. I currently project the length of time to be about four years.

I do want to speed up my rate of return while keeping the same investment style as closely as possible. I will also be looking to get myself into trading cryptocurrency. 

Staying Focused

Something new that I finally noticed for myself is how I mentally relapse and then let time fly by. What's going on in my mind can be a variety of different feelings and imaginations. It can happen to me a lot while I'm focusing on some type of work. 

It looks like working with what I have and being satisfied with it might really be just enough to turn myself into a millionaire. I don't really see myself working so hard at it eventually and just being patient about building up income as fast as possible while putting in the least amount of effort. This is my type of cup of tea with being financially independent and having freedom to explore different parts of this world while dabbling on different 

Starting to Work at Making Money

I'm realizing that I'm pretty bored with sitting at the computer and actively engaging in a game of online Poker while trying to look for weaker opponents to take all their money from. It just doesn't feel worth my time when I end up losing my whole buy-in! 

I'm going to just stick to stocks, forex, and cryptocurrency for now. We will see how this goes. 

Trying Out Something New With Reading and Preparation

I'm going to start playing a game with myself to make it fun in whatever I read by just practicing speed reading and trying to gain as much as possible out of it on my first try. If it's important and has details I think I need to achieve something, then I will go back to review it more closely. 

This is really going to start speeding up my process of reading through like 100 emails per day at work! I'm ready to start going after becoming more efficient. This morning I woke up super early at around 3:15 am and it took me almost two hours to get myself ready for work. I was showering, shaving, going to the bathroom, and grooming myself! This is just way too long for me. I want to start speeding up the process, so I think I'll take a shower, shave, and lay out my clothes I will wear the next day first to cut down on preparation. I would really like to go no longer than thirty minutes while going at a comfortable pace. 

Giving Up and Moving On With Friend Who Wants to be Dating Coach

She started out by being defensive and saying that I misinterpreted her about what she meant with "stepping out of your comfort zone" and then went into what a normal friend would do to be supportive. I responded by telling her that being positive doesn't really relate to anything at all with stepping out of your comfort zone. That's naturally a feel good type of thing. Just because she says most friends agree with her doesn't mean people she doesn't know will. Her friends could just naturally be supportive of her. She does get to be selective who she chooses to be friends with. 

I then told her she sounds pretty full of it with her whole coaching gig! I'm not a believer and probably won't be convincing her either with my view. I conceded that if it makes her happy then good luck. I'm moving on with this. 

She asked if I've seen the TV show Indian matchmaker but I've only seen an episode on a similar American show. My take on it is it's just really for entertainment purposes but doesn't really suit my interests too well. 

I'm pretty much seen as a scrub and it's really the pretty ladies and successful "It" people getting over-attention in this world so I just have a decent support system with two trusted homegirls and one of them happens to be my soulmate. 

Positivity does work but it's great to combine it with self-confidence and hard work. If you are blinded by too much ego, then things will go wrong but you can still learn from those experiences while staying positive. I think it's the ideal art of perseverance. 

Polishing Up Reaching Goal

I'm actually much more motivated than ever, but looking at the long run it's probably not so bad that even my soulmate might not end up getting with me. It's totally possible we could though, but I'm currently prioritizing focusing on reaching my goals and even the soulmate says I should focus on these important goals first!

It's pretty cool that I actually have a soulmate and it took a while to notice it with her since I wasn't even looking for it. She brought it up with me first and I naturally brushed it off with a pretty lame joke. It was still funny to her though. 

I'm processing this now after realizing that she's dating someone and wants me to always be there with him! I don't want to be a third wheel and it's really irritating to me to think what they could end up doing with each other. I would rather stay so far away from it and will be trying to find my own dating partner so that I won't feel so irritated anymore being around them. To get there though, I have only one goal in my way; it's becoming a millionaire with a six pack!

Continued Debate With Friend Who Says She's a Great Dating Coach

I told her that she shouldn't consider that her methods will always work. She believes that if anyone steps out of their comfort zone with her methods then they will succeed. Stepping out of your comfort zone without any backed science can be another way of saying you are brainwashing someone into doing whatever you say is right. It's like stepping into a cult and everyone telling you to step out of your comfort zone to make yourself happy and then you end up giving up all your savings! There may also be exceptions to saying her coaching methods will always work, but yeah she shouldn't go around advertising her services with people who remind her of how I used to be in the past. It might be a big mistake!  Plus, she never mentioned any timeframe. These are people's sensitive lives she is dealing with and mentioning stepping out of your comfort zone without breaking it down analytically is already a red flag. 

I'm ready to move on with this debate going nowhere and her just wanting to keep on saying she's right about everything without explaining. I told her that she should just go ahead and be herself. I'm happy I've learned to be assertive about holding my position with anything that doesn't make sense to me. The best coaching methods should be effective and easy to apply while making sense to them and appealing to the willing individual. It's not about just going out of your comfort zone. I have a feeling she isn't going to get that big of a recognition for any groundbreaking work and that many referrals from customers with how she currently plans to coach. She already knows my stance if people ever ask about her coaching ability. 

I recommended that she should look up Tony Robbins. This guy has been successful with coaching millions of people and even the top world leaders.  

Happy New Years

At this point, I don't really care anymore about a few mistakes from some peers causing me some emotional grief and anger management issues. I was crazy to get out of it without prescribing any therapy. It's because I felt very strongly that I would have wanted to keep on slapping the shriek, if I ever did show up for a session. It took me a very long time to figure it out. However, it always feels like I finally understood everything only yesterday. 

What has helped me so much is changing up my brain chemistry with some positivity and self-confidence! I only discovered this inspired route maybe two years ago, so that's probably why it still feels so fresh to me. The next thing I practiced was just totally being myself 24-7, so it meant being totally honest even in uncomfortable situations. I have been considered to be brave to a normally attractive buddy with social anxiety (not my type, but still very protective of her), especially when it came to opening up about my true feelings with my soulmate when she got into a new relationship. I'm currently on a break with her and feel happier to be working on clearing my angry feelings with her. It's just that I totally wish she was more open with me about this relationship besides trying to play it lowkey with me more smoothly. I feel like I can't trust her thoughts about her dating life so much anymore. 

It's probably that she's quite into public affection, which made me more incensed to make me feel like I'm going to get back at her by dating a partner who is just a hair better than her. This is what I'm very motivated to do right now. I might even settle with this goodhearted woman I find next, since my soulmate and I have already made up our minds to never be with each other anyway! We're still soul friends, as complex as this interpersonal conflict has driven us into so far.