Getting Used To 2nd Shift

My second shift at work currently has been leaving me mostly sleepy for the last six months. I think there's definitely something wrong with me, so I looked up online some tips on how to go about it. It basically says to limit to deep sleep at about 4-6 hours each day, take 5-hour energy shots, limit sugar intake, and then have regular exercise and proper diet. It also says to not stand around and get busy with doing something and also not taking naps during break time.

My body is usually shot up at work for a couple hours at certain periods of my work schedule. My supervisor has recommended me to switch over to the first shift because my body is just incapable of handling the workload while being awake because it is extremely dangerous and something could go wrong if I knock out at certain parts of the job. I'm pretty concerned about it myself, so I might as well see to it that I do something about it.

Pretty Cool

When I describe something stressful that took place for me, it might be actually stupid but from actually finding that accurate perception through all of the bizarre moments, I feel really relived and satisfied with how I have been conducting myself. I have actually been described by a pretty sensitive and eccentrically self-assured lady that I am a very smart individual. I take that as a compliment while having actually taken out her to lunch and all that as a pretty close friend to her.

 It's pretty nice to be in a considerable admirable position with where I'm headed in my life. From all the hard work and training, it would be really difficult to not perceive how far I came from and with the actions I took, it's pretty darn cool and so self-fulfilling while leaving me just gaffawing at the situation that took place. The other side doesn't look so appealing now and something I don't want to be a part of anymore literally from amassing a whole lot of negative reasons that are strongly justified in an emotional way.

Overall, I'm just so relieved from having taken proper action to get something done. It took a lot of guts and wasn't easy doing it for myself, but I see how it can relate with helping others in this world and so it's just this really positive energy that flows to reach others who have had some sort of connection with me.

Developing Interesting Writing Style

I guess I start out with the words of "I guess" all the time. I'm just stating the personally obvious that might be funny to a couple people and then go for appealing to the masses. It's a lot of fun to write in this manner. Basically, I'm having a good time from laughing at the dryness that I am writing even though it might be stupid to others and then just trying to relate with everyone.

I have this morally upright standard in that I don't really believe in using slapstick, insulting comments to exploit comedic efforts unless I'm extremely anger or frustrated at the person I'm attempting to do that to. Anyhow, I'm just thinking now that I desire to limit that amount by turning into a one time thing where I let go of all my frustrations in that one setting through being this creative person. I sort of have to nowadays do this to compensate for my pretty capable mind these days. I do believe in staying legal and the minimal amount of damage so to maximize the effect, it takes quite a bit of time in general but I'm just going for doing it in a natural and very quick way. After doing that, I do feel very relaxed about going after my personal endeavors and to compete in the financial world for earning a living. I don't harbor any hatred with anyone who beats me out; I just get extremely angry sometimes when I get met with unexpected opposition and from the frustration, I act out of character to resolve it sometimes.

Anyways, from being legal and minimizing damage while pouring all my heart out onto a personally frustrating issue, I feel really released from the poison that came from it and totally relaxed about getting back to my personal studies.

Openness Policy

For a time being, I felt like I was becoming really dependent on this blog to detail all my results in life and to pretty much create an Action-Review type of journal for me to look at and also to share with others interested in reading this blog. It seems like I have been attracting some unknown readers from unknown parts of this world.

I'm pretty much this type of individual who doesn't expect much out of this blog, but it's so interesting that there are a couple people out there who don't mind anything I put on this site. For the most part, it's pretty harmless even though I felt like I was being a really relentless beast (ignorant and senseless) at certain times I was actually putting something up here.

I guess it's one of those appeals of how I feel that the show must go on. Some things left unresolved are sometimes the most frustrating things for me. Anyhow, I think I did enough of my shares now to fully be brave and content and to move forward in my life without having to significantly look back anymore now at what I did. I'm sort of happy with the turnout for myself.

Staying Diligent And Committed Through The Bumps

In terms of being successful at a sport which is pretty much competing against others with a specific purpose of beating the other person and winning to exploit the positive feelings and rewards attributed to it, it pretty much takes a lot of darn commitment and hard work. There are bumps in the road of life that will occur and knock a lot of potentially good people with great skills off the map. It will also weed out the people who are weak in heart and also those who are smart to figure they can't be successful in it for any reason.

I'm sure failures make a lot of people upset in this world, but at the same time, it's also natural for others in general to also not really be mindful about it and turned off to those who have become embittered by it. I think I see that happening with a lot of older grown-ups who are jealous of others or wanting to personally entertain themselves even though their life might not be that great as they expected it to be. I remember watching this YouTube clip on how they did a experiment where this attractive woman who is clearly portraying herself to be a gold digger placing an unidentified substance (actually sugar) on a drink and then the actor who is portraying a millionaire starts acting weird and needing to be hospitalized! The observers who were guys start mocking what they saw and joking about it while hoping the millionaire hotshot gets what they think he deserves for dating this beautiful woman who is only out for materalistic things.

Overall, I don't know how I came to drawing up that funny anecdote I saw last week, but it just came to my mind. I also remember the reporter of that T.V. show being portrayed as a self-seeking beast who wants to promote himself and leave others in the dust from a movie. Hey, I guess the news media can be a cut-throat business too.

Getting Things Done Effectively

I guess I am the type that believe it or not wants to chicken out on a lot of things after planning it for awhile in his head but goes through with it anyway when some things seem to backfire or feel like an obstacle. I pretty much do a lot of improvising when I am fully committed at something and wow, it really developed some happy results for me in a short time frame.

Maybe it's because my mind is so numb and desensitized to pointless things that would be annoying to others. Yeah, basically knocking my frustrations out of the water so quickly through any available means really helps me out in becoming a very productive person. It pretty much ends up with me personally laughing at the situation and sharing it with a couple people openly, if they care to ask about something that would be perceived upon as a stressful or negative event. I seem to belong still and get away with it and at the same time look pretty darn good for the individual I have become. I guess overall things are pretty funny and actually kind of fun with the type of lifestyle I have been living.

Attempting To Find Gold

It seems like I'm a more content person these days because a lot of things go out one ear from the other. There are just a couple things that just get to me so greatly in that I will focus all my attention on that one little concern. It feels really condescending to describe this in writing so much that I want to erase this content to try to make myself look good.

I guess the sardonic appeal for myself and personal laughter that I invoke from this feel good passage that I am concocting is awesome! Wow, I am becoming much more eloquent with my writing and all these complicated ideas that fit into one big word is just flowing really well for me these days.

I am so amazed at how easy it is for me to just type something so flowy and this is just me being partially random and following some pattern of instinctual discipline- meaning I have developed some positive daily practice that actually feels really rewarding and just free-flowing from all the negative stress in my personal life.

Letting Go

I have learned that it may not be beneficial to hold on to something positive that really isn't there when it comes to dealing with individuals. The best thing to do is to pretty much be honest and knock out the frustration as best as possible in the least amount of confrontations and minimal amount of damage in a legal manner.

If something just keeps bothering you and you can't do anything about it but go about bugging the other person (even if you are being nice) who doesn't want to have anything to do with you, then that is going to make things really messy. Might as well just do a creative and legal behavior that would satisfy your urges from being so frustrated with the individual. Obviously, no one wants that from the other person and just wants to be left alone. I'm just saying this for those who are just really belligerent with their emotions- rather than committing a crime, might as well do something healthy and constructive instead of being destructive.

It's pretty much a one shot and possessing a ton of guts to let go of some dumb conflict that's been bothering the person for a long time, while being legal and morally in good considerable standing. I guess it's fair enough from a third party person and smart to filter out those individuals who have problems in general. We all have problems in general, I guess some individuals just connect better with others for any specific reason.

Trying To Catch Up

Haven't really been able to update this blog, so I might as well try my best to catch up before the month is over. I guess nowadays I feel a lot more confident and directive at obtaining a goal such as taking out all my frustrations in a creative and legal manner. It may be questionable at times to others who are absolutely bothered by it, but they can't do anything about it because I'm just slick like that.

One of the cool things from staying with reading something and trying to apply critical thinking through the use of logic and straight-forwardness is that I'm feeling a lot more smarter. I mean things are just connecting more and also my own personal judgements on the vulgarity of men and sensitivity of women seem to make more sense too with others.

Happy Father's Day

Today was actually quite an interesting day. I have some problems fully opening up online because I don't want to just spill and share everything to my knowledge. I guess I will put down what I feel is really comfortable for me and gain even more maturity as time passes with what I decide to put on this blog. I just may start adding in some photographs, too to document some of my personal discoveries and quirks!

Overall, I must be not that really at all appealing to become this full scale news writer that would bring in some fans. I'm not really pursuing after something like that. I'm just looking after writing to complement living a personally full life. Also, if it could influence others to be in a better path then that would be nice too.

Oh yeah, I totally forgot that one with Father's Day, there was this really cool event going on regarding a theater in the O.C. Fair. It's pretty much a faith movement hosted by Franklin Graham. I thought it would have been to cool to check it out, but looks like I missed out on it. I'm totally buying into this whole looking at the entire Scripture outlook now and letting it sink into my personal life.

Learning From The Mistakes of Others

I guess when someone does something you totally detest, you can always learn off of example from their own personal mistakes. Even if the person is clearly weaker, I guess you can always discern much more stronger characteristics that should be taking place and to use that to your personal advantage.

I basically totally feel like I'm living the dream with some of those individuals that tried to stir up some nonsense with me. I'm going to basically work on having compassion for those people now and just go after living a full life while not really caring about those incidents, not making any personal mistakes I would regret, and just go for the direction I should be living now.

Utilizing Personal Time Better

I think I have an area where I would like to get to, and it's something that I really want to strive towards now. I don't have any apprehensive feelings over it and am now willing to go full charge at the strongest grandeur of things I never imagined.

It's just amazing how my personal emotions just strengthened itself all of a sudden, and for some things, what it's worth isn't really that bad. It can also be pretty funny even if it's a little emotionally unsettling! I'm starting to become a whole heck of a lot better at expressing my full self more courageously. It's getting a whole lot easier and so I might as well just go after the things that are personally the most important things for myself, no matter how much I feel with a person does would be beneficial for that person. He or she made the decision, so the form might as well play out in a later time even if it doesn't show to be that much of an effect currently right now. Overall, I'm just becoming more efficient with something.

Totally Free In Spirit

My mind is totally relaxed about everything that happened to me in the past. I have now done what I personally needed to be satisfied about a certain situation and now ready to move forward permanently. Now I'm just thinking to myself "Oh well, they are not that smart anyway!" Besides not having that much time anymore, I think I should build my life elsewhere now.

Having this new level of concentration now, I guess I shouldn't let jealousy or personal anger from absolute disapproval of something just get to me and cause me to do some negligible things to a person. I'm going to learn from that as an example and not be that type of individual. I'm not even going to allow fear, discomfort, or any emotional pains get in the way of the situation. I am also not going to allow it to haunt me in the near future, while making peace with it at the full blown scale now.

Oh boy, those people were really funny and they didn't know what to do with their part in getting along with me or reestablishing a decent relationship. Looks like, I'm just constantly reinventing the wheel these days. Not so much of some old things I did, but more of looking forward with a better mature personality and actual sureness in my own spirit.

Going After Better Opportunities

The thing I find the most important in life with settling down with a beautiful person is to pretty much not let their unavailability or rejection to bring you down. In terms of confidence, it's important to not force the issue at hand and to focus on finding the opportunity elsewhere if it doesn't present itself to you in that time. I'm a really fortunate person capable of talking and acting my way out of many distressful situations a few people tend to try to hurt me for.

I can honestly say now that the two individuals who were supposed to play the biggest role in my life but I didn't let them because they were just holding me back are absolutely wrong about everything and with how they behaved to deal with me. I feel safe to now close the book on them and to move freely with my life after giving them a heads up confrontation where I will probably be an absolute jerk to them. It's going to be extremely quick and blowing things out of the water and result in me running out of the building! The actions I have planned out in my heart is so fast and fluid, where they won't be able to do anything about it no matter if others get legal law enforcement involved with the situation or not.

Moving On Effectiveness

I predict that I am going to be a really absolute jerk about a misunderstanding two individuals have had against me. What I'm doing is going to really make sense and clear up confusion really fast while making me look good to them at an individual level. I feel like a jerk having to resort to this level of personal individualism to get them to calm down. Even though they acted inappropriately from the start and didn't have to behave in that manner, I'm thinking about just moving on after being quick and ruthless with them and running out of the building!

The way that I want to structure this ruthless plan of mine is that I will feel like a jerk afterwards from having let that bad side of me come out in the open. I normally try to control my temper tantrums and angry feelings in the flesh where I just want to plot vengeance to strike their heart and damage their personal feelings. If I see them again or others affiliated with them, they won't get in the way and even if they have their hand with wanting to intrude somewhere in my life, they won't be able to make that much of a difference. This behavior of a jerk that I will momentarily be with them is that I want to have the confidence where they can't affect my life anymore and then just move on.

Finalizing Moments

I can honestly state that I have lived a really interesting life to my personal existence and enjoyed literally getting away with things even when a few individuals have thought that I'm crazy. It's time for me to move on with those people and let them walk in their own meaningful path of existence or letting them coexist with others in their own world. In this instance, I'm just going to have to be the stronger person now and focus after confronting them with an issue they don't want to face alone.

By not needing to put that much thought into it anymore, I'm learning by habit to focus on more important things such as work and personal endeavors on developing other key relationships now. I realize that I'm going to occasionally feel a little bothered underneath from feeling like a short person or something not going well as I had hoped but it's not going to change my personal efforts to be gentle with everyone and positive outlook. I accept those feelings that I have because it feels a lot like multitasking where I make the effort to continue striving after something and pushing a minor setback out of my heart.

Letting It Be For What It Is And Unrehearsed

I guess the time where colors should pretty much fly around the whole world in a social setting should be when you realize or suspect the person has a misunderstanding with you and is acting out of character (basically, if his behavior in any way bugs you). Being a guy, women require a different taste to settle this thing, but with other guys and for them not even being your best friend and just a stranger; well then, it looks like things could a get little too hot and dangerous for him.

Instead of just imagining scenarios in my head, I'm just going to let this play out with my own full instincts. I am going to put it aside and focus on the practical applications of my life. I am going to basically do the boring stuff necessary to get further ahead in life and enjoy it the best I can by making an effort to not be so bothered by it. I'll just let it sit on the back of mind in how I will deal with those retarded individuals and commit myself when it feels appropriate or nervous for me. I'm going to place more emphasis on how I live my life right now and what I do with it instead of plotting anything bad for them. I'm just going to let the raw energy flow this time. Immediately, I find myself holding back afterwards and being actually pretty comfortable at doing that with other people and just getting along with them just fine. You just can't let something silly like this thing ruin your life; I know it's a really difficult thing to resolve and that a lot of people just give up, but the happy ending is what all of us should seek after no matter how wrong or that big of a jerk we become.

Realizing Nervous Potential

When I want to commit myself to some areas like dealing with some really retarded individuals, I sometimes get this feeling of nervousness underneath. When that happens, I need to accept that I am going to be a big jerk to that person. Other than that, it comes down to what we both believe in and resolving all the misunderstandings. After that is done with for all the effort I will myself to put in, it's time to move on if they are still being only slightly retarded and can't like me as a person. All I really care about with individual relationships that have gone astray is making sure they understand me completely where I am coming from.

Being nervous, I accept that I am a big jerk to the person and am just going to behave accordingly with that personal theory of mine now. I have the guts to work under feeling pressure and the courage to not back down when all seems lost and my belief in something is so great and I just don't know what it is yet. It takes awhile if I can't figure out what is bothering me and from all the unnecessary attempts I made in the past, I was learning from those mistakes all along. Now, I know that I function with getting people who are against me to understand everything about me and to shoot down any misunderstandings. If they still don't find any favor in me after understanding me, I have no regrets with moving on these days. This is just my personal policy and I don't care how selfish it is because I am a big time nightmare to everyone who doesn't understand something about it.

No Use Thinking So Much About It

I pretty much function like a nightmare when anyone has a misunderstanding with me. That's why I try my best and even selfishly sometimes to get the other person to understand me. If they understand me, and don't agree with me in a certain area then I am fine with it especially if it comes to the point of not being able to be friends anymore. I'm starting to just naturally be a person who thinks about the stuff that bothers him and come up with those very sound arguments that just feel good to visualize if you are in the person's shoe. It takes getting through a lot of hardship and occasional failures but through the effort, it's amazing how it all ties together so fast once the realization has been made.

With strategizing, I see that there's a point of no return in some instances for the person you are in conflict with. In that case, I think it's almost like an open battle and can get really dangerous if you are not careful in how you go about things. It means if you are going to go further, you have to be willing to sacrifice some personal freedom in your life. It really becomes about what your values are in life and how you much committed you want to become. No matter how dirty the situation becomes. Whenever that nervous feeling cuts in, might as well just think you are a bad person and move forward in your attempt to do something. I just see it that it's based on principles of what you believe in and if it doesn't tie in with society and you become a misfit or mistreated for it, then might as well reconsider from time to time no matter where you end up in life.

Place for Allowing Raw Energy

There's a place for letting this whole raw energy come out, but it's important to not let it consume your entire life. I guess the nervousness underneath me is going to get to me a little anyways, so might as well not think so much about it and just go with natural instinct and reflexes that I was born with in doing this approach. With good friends and good strangers and those who have yet to find something wrong with me and get bothered by it (most likely a misunderstanding), I will make a great effort to love them.

Now, I realize something has become too late and what really gets me motivated in life to center all this raw energy is when someone has a misunderstanding with me and displays a mark of poor character. I have to be way more careful with women in this area, but with guys, I will be way more neglecting. I like to use funny speeches and funny illustrations that others would just go crazy over to laugh about, but now, I won't let it consume me and make me so weird anymore. I'm going to put the imagination aside because it can never be exact for me because I'm going to be nervous and then combine every effort I learned so far to get what I want out of the situation. I'm just going to set it aside; I have the guts required to let out my raw energy and it is what I plan on doing really soon to a guy whose such a person who can't let go of things and be so much of an exaggeration in what they think about the situation. He's the perfect candidate which I now realize, so I will just let my life naturally play out and just commit myself while I am extremely nervous to what I am about to do and hope for the best outcome with this individual. I am going to be the most hard working at the time and place for that short period of time than anyone I know!

Using Honesty and Consistency

I realize the experience I have with great people is unique and awesome! I don't feel at all let down if a person just doesn't like me for who I am, but I might be the type of person others have to make an effort to understand at times, if they are just the type of people who like to exaggerate on things.

I'm basically a complete jerk when someone doesn't understand me and makes an issue about something to try to help me especially, if I am off guard and the person is doing that to me. This type of conflict is extremely annoying and something I had a hard time trying to calm myself down over. These days just from making the effort to be sharper and witty, it just all happens naturally for me.

I like this new personality inside of me now that I've been developing which is being more open with others and very confident in my approach. It's this new form of discipline that I am finally adopting and becoming more mature with.

Relying On Improv

I am now seeing things more clearly so might as well just focus on the important things right now. Compared to some people who have problems with me, I'm just going to go all out crazy with them now by just being random and following my gut instinct. Other than that, I like this whole calm persona inside of me now and just being cool with everyone.

Misunderstandings are a pain to settle no matter how long the period is. Might as well do things that just throw them off really hard and get them to doubt in their personal system of thought. I'm just going to try doing things to them that others would laugh really hard if they heard about it and where their allies would feel discouraged in supporting them. I'm just use anything now that comes to my head that would just get to their nerves super crazy from what they think is crazy.

Other than that, I'm just going to live my life in a personally good way the best I can now. I'm not going to let those things get to me and prepare for it mentally by just doing random things now. Anything that just pops out of my head, I'm just going to go after it now. With family, like my sister or other girls I have to be more sensitive with them. Other than that, I'm just going to go random these days with some problematic guys and see where that leads to. Overall, I'm just going to let all my emotions run wild and handle them and make sure they are being addressed to the messed up guy. I'm going to be overall just very normal to the best of my ability and make the right effort as a person.

Being Mature In Feelings

Being mature emotionally has been a lot harder for me than I could imagine. I used to be so disappointed at life; not so much anymore. It's just plain and simple in English; just deal with it. What I see myself doing more is just making an effort to put some personal feelings behind me and just progress forward.

It was crazy to see this one girl being actually pretty laid back with me and slightly interested in getting to know me. Oh, so she's actually pretty and a genuinely sweet person. I got to talk to one of those and get to know her a little bit, which was nice. That's where with those young and really beautiful women, I need to put those feelings behind me and just be mature. I'm doing that more these days, but some days I'm not focused as I would like to be and go off a little. I guess it's all in the mood somehow. Looks like I found out that an e-dating site can actually get someone a date. I never knew that could happen for just about anyone, but I guess it works.

Focusing On Right Things With Desire

This is a really tough area still for me. I guess it just happens with a few individuals not really liking me for some reason and then causes others to not like me as well. This whole nervousness underneath me while all this negative commotion which was filled with distorted truth really distracted me with living my true life.

I realize that I am just a nobody and can't function in life without covering my head with my hands sometimes. I'm just going to go take a nap right now before I continue talking about random things. It's time for me to act to get the misunderstandings taken cared of. I'm just going to go full out random with that area because it doesn't matter what the end result is as long as those misconceptions drop out of their minds. In the mean time, I'm going to go live a full life and take my time.

Things That Don't Matter

It takes time to let stuff work out especially after not having made the effort in the beginning. I think that's one of the most important key elements. I guess the things that do matter are having the right kind of connections.

It seems like I do have a good set of friends; most of who are long gone and really have no beef with me. I guess the thing that probably gets most people to not really like me anymore is having some issue that they can't get over with me.

Where I Finally Stand With People

It's been a good 13 years of weirdness for me from high school to college. Even I had a couple chances at love from a couple great women. However I would go on to heavily fail to seal the deal.

That's life and believe it or not it's normal. What I am finally getting at is that I have been having the hardest time with people coming up with wrong comments about me and me not understanding where they came from. I was so immature about it to and fuming so much underneath. I now am not so mad because that's one of the bad things people could do to me and where I will actually act to get that fixed.

I care about the really wrong misconceptions that affect my relationships with people. I don't mind letting go of some as friends if they completely understand me and just plain to choose to not like me. Some of these people with misconceptions are also associated with bad character and thus, I wish to limit socializing with them now after letting them know and if they still don't wish to change.

Basic Stuff

I'm now thinking a little more logical and systematical about how I would like to make an earning. By going after the guarantees in making a living, it makes it more easier for me to then invest a little time in going after some risky ventures for trying to become a millionaire at a young age! Managing finances well and becoming successful while having the money to support loved ones and to be able to help out the poor a little makes it more comforting and encouraging for me to go after this route in my career now. It all started a few years ago for me.

I do have a guarantee in gaining profit, and it is also expandable which can also become very beneficial for me as well in my personal life. For instance, I have the opportunity to earn free money from just taking online courses and learning a language. It's an extremely great incentive for me and I shouldn't let up the opportunity because I'm interested in reaping up residual income.

There's a lot of time commitment issues for me, and I realize that my time is limited with how I spend time with some good friends. I really want to form a strong basis so might as well go after establishing the building blocks one at a time. Since I'm pretty much a grinder with earning money, I might as well grind away with grabbing income in the areas that would be most beneficial and financially rewarding for me and then slowly add in the areas where I want to be actively involved in.

Creating bank takes a lot of commitment and besides just talking about it, it's just a matter of not being lazy and going after it. The hard part is actually visualizing the opportunity in your head. It should pretty much be a step-by-step process. Wherever you go, there are always people to make friends with so might as well not be so afraid of letting go of being around some really good people and then form new relationships again and keep the old who were just so great with you! Basically, what I look at right now is pretty much a guarantee of earning money from having successfully completed a task; it looks like I have a really superb opportunity right now with something and I shouldn't let time go to waste since I'm now interested in it.

Progress With Losing Weight and Exercising

I really like training my body these days to feel and become stronger! It's a daily effort for me, but I will take a break on Sundays. I'm currently trying to focus on losing some weight and then managing it so that I wouldn't have to worry so much about it.

The way that I just function is that I have to develop a routine and stick to it and then let myself be carried away a little. It's just a lot of hard work and putting in the effort while not being bothered by anything. I guess that's what makes a person successful!

The way I plan on losing weight is to pretty much limit my calories and let myself starve a little bit from snacking on junk food! I have been the same weight from eating whatever I felt like everyday and then working out the same day. If I diet from some bad food, then perhaps I will be able to see the results from my weight a little quicker.

The basic workout for me is to just do push-ups, sit-ups, and run for two miles every other day. For the other day, I just try to run a little longer. Technically, I'm running every single day of the week so I could lose some weight and eventually maintain a desirable weight. The effort I put in is a little above average then I'm sure most obese people would be able to handle. It's going to extremely hard and mind battering to lose all the creeping weight; even possibly, the person could just be ignorant about how big he or she is and learn to cope with it while not caring. It's weird because one of my cousins will feel hurt or get mad when I tell him how overweight he is and that he should focus on some physical activity instead of being lazy to lose some of that weight and become healthy again.

Maybe for some overweight people, it's just a life-style they don't ever want to refuse. I'm personally concerned about it, so whether my future spouse becomes overweight or not, I'll tend to trying to get her to go take a fresh walk with me at the bare minimum on a daily basis. This would mean I would have to make a great effort in getting to know her and leading her while encouraging her with what her needs are and then do a little positive reinforcement to get her to stay healthy at all costs. Obviously, I want to start off with a spouse who demonstrates a very healthy life-style and is willing to make the effort even while being a little injured.

Placing A Ton of Heart

I really like the idea of just keeping things simple these days and not stressing about anything to keep things usual as they are. My mind is just so programmed to be engaged in some daily behavior, but now my heart and soul just wants to make a more wiser investment so it could benefit my life later. Perhaps, pursuing after the greatest goods that I can obtain for myself would have a better lasting effect for me in the areas of success.

I'm not even talking about cheating to get somewhere. I'm talking about making the natural effort to get to somewhere that you want to be at and with all of that ton of energy spent, the work would finally pay off and bring some fulfillment to your life. It was really difficult for me to also pay attention to other people because I just wasn't the type to listen from not having that much trust over being spoon-fed with something. I really needed to have a good idea of the experiences people share to appreciate the information that was being transferred over to me.

After feeling like my heart wanted to just relent and shut down from just not feeling right at times, I'm just technically bored and making sense out of my past and trying to get something out of it.

Preparing Early

Sometimes I find myself feeling really worn out about what I have sights set on and not even placing any attention on it. I think that's a bad thing because we all should have something to keep ourselves occupied on. These days I'm becoming more mature than ever, and I'm not totally bothered by what constitutes as boring anymore.

Learning a lot of good things in life over these last couple years has made me appreciate my true friends and also not so worried about being rejected. Maybe a thing I could try more is to be mindful of others and put myself in their shoes more. Even if there's something I don't like about the person, I should just give a lot of personal effort to let those things not bother me in general.

Basically, I'm starting to become someone who doesn't really to procrastinate anymore. Besides, I'm totally wasting my time and regretting what I did if I don't get to those personal priorities. There's definitely no problem to the feelings just not being in the mood while working hard to achieve something.

Ideal Goals

The ideal goal I have in mind right now is to pretty much lose the extra 15 pounds I have in mass and then focusing on working out to gain some muscle! I would like to also enjoy being able to day trade some stocks. Because of my lack of time, I might as well just try to keep everything simple for now and then work at it in being self-motivated to move up the ladder.

It's pretty hard for me to get started, but I've actually been getting consistent with my personal hygiene and working out on a daily basis. It's not so hard once you get into the habit of things. I'm just catching myself sleeping on my chair right now because I still have another 2 more hours after it changes 1 AM before I put myself to bed. I sort of like this because it helped me out when I did it last week.  

Pretty Sleepy Right Now

Right now at my time zone, it's 12:20 am and that is pretty much an early time for me right now because I won't be sleeping for another three hours. I'm just trying to train myself to stay awake at will so I won't do bad at work. I'm falling asleep at my chair right now as expected. I'm someone who just needs plenty of rest to be able to function, but since this job is really tough especially working at the night shift, I should pretty much not outdo myself with the free time and stay committed to earning a living during the week!

I'm starting to be really comfortable with all this grown up talk these days. I'm just not sure what I'm going to be doing if I manage to become successful with my life and have enough money to retire early. Becoming mellow and just telling personal jokes is starting to never become old for me now. I'm just getting old, and underneath, I'm understanding my place by also not being afraid about anything happening.

Focusing Better

I'm realizing that from working out and trying my best to stay focused at my job, my mind is just so relaxed and it's easier for me to not get so psyched out anymore from feeling like I am being overwhelmed with personal tasks. I'm pretty much enjoying myself more.

 I guess I'm just old enough to be able to make responsible decisions for myself so that's what I should seriously be focusing on. Just de-attaching my negative emotions from some things, it's been a lot easier for me concentrate on being a more productive worker.

From all the time I have been spending on useless things, it just gets me wondering how I've still made it to the point that I'm in right now. I guess this is where I might have been naturally blessed in that I have enough mental and physical prowess to earn a decent paying job.

Living In Gratefulness

I guess I'm living in times where the little things are what can occupy my mind and where I don't really pay attention to the necessary things for my own survival. I should pretty much be content with what I have after how I was brought up. This is what I believe I should be doing more lately.

Some days, life is just good and other times, I feel like I'm totally lacking in some area. I guess this is how it is for others too. Training myself to not get so mad anymore with people, I still get a little moody or jumpy sometimes but so far, I've enjoyed the personal progress I have been making.

Making Better Profitable Decisions

I think it's important to make the right investments in life because it will really help out seriously financially a person's life. Sometimes, it's just better to not rush into something when you are not ready and take your time with developing in some area. I'm starting to learn this now after having tried to rush in so many things.

First off, it started with letting go of my dependence on video games. Slowly, I'm working my way to letting go of too much T.V. and other things. It's pretty crazy how a little focus can go a long ways for a person sometimes.

Trying To Stay Awake At Work

I have recently had a little issue in how I end up closing my eyes while standing and dozing off. It's pretty weird because I think that my body and mind is still active, but it wants to stay focused on something bigger than the job I'm working on.

I think the strategy is to pretty much practice before going into work with being awake on Sunday the time schedule of the company you work at and then sleeping during those regular hours. I guess it helps with helping the person from being exhausted and adjust a night before trying to work the next day.

For my job, I pretty much finish work at around 2:45 am and go to sleep at around 3:30 to 4:00 when I get home so after sleeping early on Saturday. Now, I'm up just trying to stay awake for about three more hours.

Organizing Time Better

My mind is starting to get used to the idea of being constantly bored and not really hanging out with anyone now. I'm just not really the same old person as I used to be now. I'm pretty much learning to be in self-control these days, and I think it's just going to take quite a bit more effort to get to where I want to be these days. It's pretty much the same old boring me!

There's really nothing that's inspiring me to write. I'm just writing for the sake of doing it right now and hopefully, maybe I'll start picking it back up. Writing in a way is used for intending a purpose, and I think the best ones I have written have been for such. I feel really rusty about writing right now, but nonetheless I might as well just put something down to get the week going for myself again.

Around Some Really Nice People

Growing up with some really retarded people in that they weren't really that courteous and sort of had their problems to deal with so they kept to themselves, I'm amazed at the really good and nice people I am surrounded by. Yet, for some reason, even though these people are great and actually nice while being fun-filled, it seems like I play an influence with how the environment is shaped.

I feel like I am this lowly-shaped short and unattractive individual who is a really big failure. I just thought that people wouldn't be mindful of me, but they actually are with me. I don't get it with how the majority in the world when they bind at one place, this little area that they have preference gets to me and how I try to manage the negative feelings I get from it.

These people I have been around are amazing and truly a blessing. I feel bad from being a sinner last weekend or maybe it was a little too much fun that I shouldn't have involved myself in. I realize that it's these choices we make that shapes the individual we become.

Very Difficult

From the way I have grown up and been born into, things just don't come that easy for me. Just imagine this, a 5' 2.5 male individual messed with the heads of some feeble-brained peers and then received two restraining orders. That person is me, and all this time I've been thinking about how short I am and how I can't fit the description with my personality of needing a few restraining orders.

What it means to me is that I make a few people around me very uncomfortable with me and really scared. It's actually cute! After being so angry for a long time and plotting many different scenarios in my head of how to get to back at them, I just have to live with the fact that some people are stupid and will overreact with you and that I have to get used to some people I get to be around will behave this way towards me.

Basically, anyone can place a civil restraining order (civil harassment) on someone and anyone can call the police on anyone even if it's just lying. The fact that I view traditional society to be where the tall and good looking people get the hookups, I have to wonder how my diminutive height and low self-esteem personality got me two restraining orders; even though the plaintiffs are really weird people and make themselves unapproachable, I have to sort of think that it's cute they found me very uncomfortable and scary otherwise they wouldn't have filed one on me.

The fact that I let them have it by not challenging to the court's ruling even with a lawyer present by my side makes me wonder how much torture I made them feel from having to subject them to dealing with a permanent issue that would never resolve itself. This time I have a natural policy now that everyone should develop- it doesn't matter how big of a criminal you became just do this, if someone calls the police on you then call the police on them and make up something that makes sense. If someone places a restraining order on you, then put one on him or her no matter how big of a friend he or she was to you. Be sure to also mention you will do this to the people there. This is my personality, once I reach a common ground; it's time for me to move on with these unstable people and not even hang out with them.

Committing to Goals

I have found that writing and sharing your goals on a blog can literally help shape who you become as a person. I know this because I've had this blog for about five years now, so with the influence it's brought upon my life with all the little things added up, I can see that there's been a significant change in my life and it's for the better.

There's always a time where you just feel good in the beginning to do something. Why else pursue after something so cool, which is having those positive feelings? After awhile, things just come up and it just might extirpate something you thought to be going well for you.

Then again, here goes my goals because I'm just feeling emotionally constipated with these positive and entertaining feelings and just this constant feeling while sitting down and doing nothing, it's pretty weird how it's developed like this. When I will myself, my mind just turns to feeling bad and then after an abrupt moment, it's back to feeling constipated in a good way. Very peculiar, but something funny and I suppose it's something very new for me to get used to these days and definitely, I am looking forward to live with it.

 I am going to work out six days a week to the best of my ability. I am going to get plenty of rest whenever I can afford myself to sleep. I am going to make an effort in any way to get myself taller daily by doing something physical with it and then try to add in the good nutrients to see how that goes. I am going to just party and crash and burn on the weekends man, it's going to be like living a celebration for me! I am going to get my lazy butt to sit in front of my computer screen and learn some Korean everyday. I am really addicted to reading about stuff and playing my piano; boy, I really am going to find some systematic way to appease those emotions. When I tell myself, I'm just playing one piano song, I end up playing like ten! I think I'll play my heart out on the weekends then. Definitely, no real time for T.V. and surfing on the Internet these days for me. For now, I'll trade in being knowledgeable about the world for personal development and success in what I want to do. I guess if it's that bad then someone is going to say something about it around me anyway.  My heart is just worn out a lot and I think I just need to develop a happy routine that I can catch onto really fast in a daily fashion.

Putting Wonderful Thoughts Into Motion

I need to work out big time! I am gaining weight that I don't like, even though I am a guy. I am trying to work out six times a week, but after doing it for awhile and then stopping, it's been difficult for me to retrain myself to commit to those work outs. I guess that's very excess, trying to work out almost every day. I just want to physically be in shape and have those rock-hard abs I could show off to the world and then take photos while just doing back flips!

Even though I'm a lot better at handling my personal feelings about how short I am now, I still want to try to increase my height. I managed to figure out these stretching exercises that will temporarily make me look about an inch taller with my body. It's pretty crazy, but it isn't magic- it's just working out and doing some weird and painful exercises to get the body to straighten itself out and then forcefully look an inch taller. I did it and permanently added a 1/2 inch to my latest height, it was pretty cool that I committed myself that long.

The hard part about doing those growing taller exercises is dealing with my impatient attitude and feeling disheartened about continuing them while having emotions of wanting to cry for those uncontrollable feelings. I don't let those emotions out with others, but it hinders me a little sometimes. I understand that it's like a bipolar reaction for me and that I just need to retrain myself to let go of those feelings. Just because I like the idea of being taller, I'm going to try to make myself taller again and spend a little bit of money on it but also work on not being bothered with the height I currently have to live with. Even if I grow up to be 60 years old, I'm still going to try to make myself grow taller naturally without cheating with medical surgery or wearing elevated shoes, I'm a man! Maybe, I'll share those growing taller secrets with my kids, grandchildren, nephews who knows and they could be blessed to be the height I've always wanted to be and revel at the knowledge I had and be able to start a tradition of passing on those secrets to future generations- that is if those kids want to be tall, I understand some kids just like staying short for as long as they can!

Being the Pursuer

I am pretty much the big and great pursuer. I am the initiator; without being direct about my purposes, it leaves for interpretations and if people are emotional and have had trouble settling their differences, then I believe these people are going to feel very insecure with what I am doing and start making comments about how scared or uncomfortable they are with me. It's actually really cute, even though I was really mad to be able to discern those feelings from them for awhile.

It's pretty odd and funny, while it could become really dangerous for me at the same time. I sort of need to watch out and possibly avoid these types of unstable people. I guess the warning signs are there for other people, especially with what I went through so others may pick it up from me too right away even without me understanding the situation at the moment.

I would like to pursue after good people- the ones who actually wouldn't mind going out of their way a little and the ones who actually are established with some resources they can share. Dating a pretty girl who is unemployed might be fun, but what would be even better is if she was this determined person who already experienced some success and was interested in me. It's easy to be a dreamer but it's sometimes very cumbersome to reach a decent status.

Daily Struggle

My daily struggle is pretty much willing myself to figure out what I want to be engaged in and to try to limit the excess amount that makes me feel like I wasted my time. My other struggles also include not becoming so angry inside after thinking about some people who just were being stupid or crazy with me and unable to make the effort to get along with me.

Being truthful with my intents and being able to take big hits, I think that's the life of a true man! Just like how I'm so tired inside, all these emotions pretty much just originate with me. With all those people who just start going crazy and trying to reason with how bad others are conducting themselves, I think they seriously are being dumb and need to go talk to a professionally trained and caring psychologist. Yeah, this may be true but how many are really going to be very upfront like this and tell the person while realizing this at that moment in time. It's a lot easier to see when rewinding but what about experiencing it at a later date?

Making Sense Out Of Things

Time is so valuable, and I'm understanding it more these days from working ten hour shifts! There are a lot of things I want to accomplish, and I'm realizing that a lot of it is mental. I mean playing video games and keeping myself occupied with it is really fun but ideally, I'm starting to feel that I'm wasting my time.

Instead of really watching T.V. or movies, I think I should really focus on living a full life now. This time that I have to myself is something that I don't really want to let go of. Being single, there is this great gap of time with what I want to do now. At the beginning, I was really rusty and just going about trying very difficult things that I was just inspired to do. I lacked so much knowledge and had a pretty weak heart for developing myself, which meant that I just wanted to stay steady with something good.

After going through some grueling periods, I no longer need that. I'm going to go after what I'm looking for. I pretty much like the idea of having a form of residual income while being able to focus on other things. I'm just like a lot of other people too. I'm sure people would just love making a million bucks and having all this free time to spend time with loved ones or travel and do fun things without no one really invading your personal space. That is the goal I am currently trying to accomplish now, and I'm willing to work really hard for it. Along with the fun things, I have an itchy desire to just learn about complicated things like how the human body works or mastering physical mechanics in this world. It would be cool to be able to spend some time doing those things too by developing something personal that brings me income. I am willing to take affordable financial risks now for accomplishing a goal of a more enlightened direction.

Letting Things Run Smoothly

Ever since breaking out of a major depression in my puberty, seriously, I was just love hungry and thinking like how could a short and chubby guy like myself end up with a smoking hot wife. To add to the sorrows, I bombed an Honor's English course because I couldn't connect with Shakespeare! I felt like my love game wasn't smooth enough and that my Ivy League career was over; on top of that, I was so short-sighted and feeling so dependent on being around company. I was just this lonely wolf underneath and not doing so hot; one of my teachers took notice. Man, I was so dumb but thinking back it just makes me literally laugh about everything that I was going through underneath.

These days it's just flowing and even though I'm a lot shorter than what I would have liked to become, I'm just not letting that play a major downfall to my confidence anymore. I'm not even comparing my height to anyone, but myself. I don't care about a girl's appearance; heck, even almost all the beautiful women in the world seem to look like whatever to me. Okay, maybe a few of them might be really fun to go out with for me.

I'm starting to just be relaxed underneath and just making the effort to not worry about the pain and suffering from feeling so short! I'm accepting the situations I'm in and choosing to not be bothered about anything. This has been making it a lot easier for me to will myself to living a diligent lifestyle. Comparing myself to some people better than me, I'm pretty much nothing. There's nothing to it! In all absolute honesty, willing myself to go in the right path and direction has been pretty nice.

Hard To Stay Consistent

I guess there are normal times where when things are just feeling solid, something just happens to your mind or body and then you just want to shut down from progressing in life. I have learned that even though I am still under some controlled rage, I still want to not be bothered by anything. By working hard to be not be bothered by anything which is probably what most people would logically want, the mind can be willed into clearing itself up!

It's definitely making a choice and putting in the effort to commit oneself to not let the actions of others offend you so greatly that it causes your actions to be influenced. When that happens, I think the person who is under this situation should pretty much go talk to a trained and caring psychologist. There are some people like that one person in a group who just vents about his or her own problems while talking about how bad others are. Since I've been in a mess with a few of those individuals, I'm now espousing that those people get some psychological therapy to find a way to not stress out so much and verbalize it!

Things Really Coming Together

To get to where you want to be in life, there needs to be some form of discipline. I'm realizing this more each day as I reflect on the true meanings of life. Honestly, deep down inside there are sometimes desires that are just completely obsessed about delusions. It's really hard to break out of that personal mood and not giving in to the flesh without feeling lousy, tired, bored, and lackadaisical. Therefore, my body just puts on its thrusts and then I make will to willfully committing personal sinful acts.

I'm not very proud of being ascertain with those moments. Some people have told me that pretty much everyone is like that where they fall short in something sinful. Although it may be small and the majority won't do something crazy enough to be put into jail, it's just something in our human nature that we tend to forget about.

Daily Effort

Just this morning, I was attending this morning place where there are quite a bit of other young people which dominate the place. There are probably a couple cute girls there and man they look tall. This one cute brunette girl looked really frail but when she stood it felt like she was inadvertently towering over me. It made me want to cry underneath. I then told myself repeatedly, "Effort, effort!" Afterwards, the feelings of sorrow went away. After allowing that to happen, a pretty Asian girl with an appearance I don't mind introduced herself to me before I left the building. I think she's a little bigger than me too. Oh well. One of my really young buddies said that he would be like "Forget the world" if he ended up falling in love with a taller woman and she was the same way with him!

Those feelings really feel like temporary bi-polar or something. I get it sometimes in random places when I am around really tall people. I'm recovering from realizing that I am pretty short. Okay, it makes me want to laugh now and after reading this website called something like "Short Persons Support", I don't really take my height so seriously now.

This daily effort is pretty much concentrating on the good stuff while not letting it bug me. It's something that I have been doing recently and my mood hasn't really become all bi-polar after having made this effort and letting it take place for me now. I'm now accepting this process of hard work of not letting anything bug me and being diligent with where I want to be. The short support group website has a quote that says, "It's not the size of the dreamer, but the size of the dream." In terms of dating wise, it may depress a few more short men but it seems so jocular to me. The YouTube video clip below is an illustration of how a short man can end up dating a giant female if he's into those types of women.

Fun Stuff For Me To Look Forward To

There are plenty of sport games being televised right now and it is also fun to watch my favorite teams win. Although they put up a good fight sometimes and lose really badly, I still like those teams.

Anyhow, I think fun in the weekend would amount to traveling and doing a lot of crazy fun and expensive stuff outdoors like skydiving or sailing or even windsurfing! Right now, fun for me is creating solutions to make money that would get me this millionaire playboy lifestyle that I would enjoy having.

On top of that, I don't know just lying around sometimes and watching T.V. during the weekend might be fun. I guess when I get really serious with a woman and intent on settling down with her, I'll be losing a lot more sleep during the week so I could spend time with her. I sometimes get these flashbacks where I just want to stress out, but now I'm just working hard to not let those memories get to me so I usually end up trying not to laugh out so loud now if others are around me and I get those constant reminders.

Time is such a delusion for me because sometimes I feel like I have a lot of time, but then when I immerse myself into something it feels like I ran out of time. I guess I should seriously focus on the necessities of life first for myself before going down the weekend fun path. I guess it will work as a balance for me now and that is what I will try it now.

Generalizing Good Goals

The way I want to start organizing things is to take the week seriously on pratically things and then on the weekends do really fun things or other things to get personally lost in. What I will try now to do is limit the spoils of fun I try to engage myself in and go all out during my three day weekend which pretty much ends on Monday because I work the night shift with enough sleep included!

For the week, I'm having so much fun with this whole Forex investment thing. There's so much I could try to master before going to work, but I think I should just limit the fun by letting my programmed robot do all the work for me now and to just check its progress during the weekend or as time goes. I'm going to go for creating more robust solutions during the weekend while during the week I focus on getting plenty of rest, good health, and going for a Master's in financing while taking very profitable courses that would relate to my life and career-paths.

I guess I'm not finding time to really go dating right now, but I have been meeting interesting and pretty cute females who are friendly and seem interested in talking to me as a friend.  Yeah, that's pretty cool now and with this whole girls being pretty thing, I'm starting to not really look at a girl like that because just staring down a girl's body gets pretty boring if I can't enjoy anything with the person! My mind is pretty well-trained to not let a really hot girl get the best of me now. I don't even care about a girl's appearance, but more about the person. It seems like there a lot of pretty women out there who are genuinely nice and mean to have a great relationship with her partner too. I notice it and possibly just because a girl isn't that great looking doesn't always mean that she is automatically nice too. Personality exists in everyone! I'm thinking the best woman for me would be ideally the best woman for any guy in particular, so might as well work hard to not be bothered by it or anything else now.

Future Dedication

I dedicate myself to take naps whenever I feel tired and have time to do so. I have been just all over the place and sometimes can't sleep because I work the night shift. It's a good thing that I don't have too many distractions like my supervisor does at work. He's a really good man and loves his job of producing parts to take care of my dad's company. He speaks well of my dad who suffered through a lot of the business pains.

Right now, business is thriving and my dad is able to do wonderful things for all of my co-workers. I am in the family business now too. It wasn't just handed over to me; the job wasn't even given to me- my dad had to feel like I deserved the position. When he asked me to join, I smiled and became excited to join a new field.

Some Developments Never Change For Awhile

My little sister introduced two cats into the household after being off in college. Boy, she has some personal problems of just stressing out and bickering about stuff. Maybe she could go see a psychologist to discuss some of her worries. Then again, I'm only saying that while choosing to not be bothered by anything she tells me; I guess I'm just looking for a very good solution that would work out for her which would interest me just for wanting to be a giving individual. It feels good to be an occasional giver- I'm sort of a giver in general.

One of her cats is really social and has taken a liking to me so he likes to come into my room and get this lovely attention of being around me. He just starts purring like he is conditioned to do so when I just go near him. I guess he just feels the need to socialize with the owners on a daily basis. He's just chilling on my lap right now as I write this post.

I'm starting to call those house cats my own cats too just to mess around. They are pretty funny creatures who like to do a lot of sleeping, fighting, and occasionally running around really fast. It's amazing how they don't really lose their athleticism. With my cat jumping on my lap thing, it's been going on for awhile and it's something I'm really accustomed to now.

Fully Honest, Think, and Accepting Help Theory

I think some people were just born to be greater than others from having an advantage that others diddn't. Wherever we started from and how we end up depends on circumstances. It really sucks to think about how many lives were lost during the World Wars- not to mention, how these soldiers couldn't live a fully purposeful life and had to be killed is just really tragic.

I'm now thinking that as a people, it is normal to be individualistically hazy about being fully honest about the self and portraying that to others. Basically, we need to not ourselves be deceived by some people who bother us. We also should work hard to let those bothersome thoughts not get to us and from being hard working and personally honest and not bothered, come up with a very viable solution to appease ourselves.

I'm thinking about this post applying to how should talk to the worst people on the planet imaginable for us to go talking to right now. We need to have great powers of discernment and have to really focus all of our attention while letting stuff that bothers us to not get to us. This is my thought- let's be fully honest about our feelings, let's place our thoughts on the situation at hand and be able to see the general things from the clues given to us with how the other person responds in speech or body language, and thirdly, let's accept help if it seems really viable for us and no matter how imposing others feel for us, we should not let that stress us out.

Planning Ahead

After being desensitized with this whole Facebook thing, it looks like I am attracting a few more beautiful young women to want to be friends. Yeah, I have some form of sexy appeal. Even this one cute girl was asking me for a long term relationship, she was a really aggressive part-time model who was just trying to find the man of her dreams on Facebook. She considered me a candidate and that is pretty much flattering. Not to mention, I confessed my feelings to this girl I liked and she too was flattered, so I guess that's how it goes.

One of my good buddies called me to confess my true feelings with this girl who I was bothered by for a time being. He knows her pretty well and doesn't really like her from citing concerns like her being melodramatic or just moody while dating some of the worst people you could imagine based on image alone. I guess her biological clock is ticking and she is going for what appeals to her and it must be these guys who are seen like a bunch of bad dudes hitting on her and being nice to her, must sucker her in.

I really need to think about that girl. I can easily imagine expressing passionate feelings for her but what would the result be? I want to be able to make a responsible decision and not go after something with a lot of haste. What would be wonderful though is if there was a literal stability with my life partner and after we married, things just got really fun for a very long time!

Maximizing Potential

During high school, I considerably had a time where I would hit a stroke of genius and just dive into that idea and then stir up positive emotions in others. Therefore, I was told by this guy who envied me that I had a lot of potential. He was this Korean guy who was considered to be cute and then he told me that was really jealous of me and wanted to use me!

He was a great basketball player and an awesome singer and has a really beautiful wife right now. This guy who seemed to have it all working well for him told me that he was jealous of me. I am laughing a lot while remembering it now.

People Who Bothered Me

It's pretty crazy in that I have a really high tolerance level for being around individuals who others would find very crude or annoying. The thing about me is that even though I have those feelings like others might, I don't really act on those feelings alone.

It's crazy that these people portrayed themselves selfishly or conceitedly that they were better than me and wanted to show all the ropes. They were pretty much self-righteous with me, and I guess it makes sense because these people were trying to run a church! There's a good and bad church, and the bad church will completely miss a point or not be able to understand a concept. If they said that they couldn't understand me, then they were not really inspired by their God to try to lead me in a better path. They forced themselves on me in a jaded way and now I see that they should all go see a professional and caring psychologist to help manage their angry feelings and how they act towards certain individuals.

In the show Family Guy, there was this episode where the baby Stewie and his dog Brian go into different portals and then Stewie finds that his big sister is really hot, which is a joke because she was considered to be the least good looking there too. It was funny to remember so I had to share it; they then end up in this Disney portal where everything is lively and like a fairy tale where everyone sings happy songs. When the show's loser shows up at the family's door, everyone else except the dog and baby end up violently stomping and beating up the loser to a bloody pulp. Likewise, those young church people had this messed up ideology from being self-rightous and as a result they influenced a crippling effect of low attendance. To add insult to injury, they left the church too after awhile.

Funny Result With "Betty"

The woman I wrote about Betty Lam is a real person who probably read a few of my blog posts and then became scared off from attending that odd church which made me mad! I called her up and received the usual "Stop calling me" and hanging up. One day, I left her a message and asked her "Does my height have anything to with it?" and also said "Do you want me to stop talking to you?" I called her up and she said that my height had nothing do with it even though she is a little taller than me still.

It's pretty cute what Betty went through with me. She completely lost it in her train of thought and was thinking that I am someone she can't get along with, especially after we were coexisting really well with each other. Her reason was that she couldn't understand me and so she turned that into an excuse for becoming estranged with me. That's cool, I don't harbor any bad feelings for her.

Honestly, I think no matter how annoyed a person gets with another person, she should be able to talk about the incident in a mature manner and not be so closed-minded. It lets me know that Betty had some pretty big worries that she couldn't share with everyone and how she should seek after a psychological consultation to try to manage the stressful feelings that others cause her.

Anyhow, Betty made me laugh so much when she said that she was going to change her number because of me and that's when I haven't found the interest of calling her back. It's like she would go through all that effort of affecting her life insurance business and selling herself as a really friendly and secure individual for nothing because I'm not even moving a finger to try to communicate with her now. I guess she was living a lie and not being really true to herself and could possibly use a caring professional psychologist to help her out with some personal stress management issues.

Considering Adding Good Reviews

For a person starting to become specialized in a area that would be profitable for me, I might be able to start selling good products that helped me out as well through spreading the word of mouth. Many scams capitalize on how this dream job could occur for the individual, and how easy the business would be to manage.

One of the girls I dated told me how she wants to focus on her own business and ambitions. I told her that's really good for her, and then she showed me this YouTube clip that inspires her to have a positive and diligent spirit. I totally forgot the link, but it said something like no matter how low you are brought in life, you need to pick yourself back up and try even harder to get to your personal goals.

I learned after being really naive that running a business takes a lot of effort even if you are considering being employed at your own home. By watching shows like Pawn Stars and Storage Wars, it has given me a broader perspective that there needs to be a pretty big market of interested buyers to create a business on something.

Actual Concerns of Trading Stocks

I'm sure deep down inside a lot of young people's minds they are interested in becoming successful with investments. However, the risk factor is considerably steep for the average person, so they would rather not take the gamble of losing so much money. Plus, the anxiety of not knowing how to begin day trading adds to a lot of worries. There are also those who start trading and end up losing big! They just see it as a rush to keep putting in money and trying to create a huge hit-and-run over a short period of time.

I can understand that it's a pretty huge risk to begin trading currency. It takes a lot of discipline and really knowing your stuff. What I like so much about swing trading is that it's sort of like playing poker just that you don't have to be grinding at the tables 24/7 and you can obtain a professional level of information to get a decent tap on how the market will react. I'm just in it to try to make money, so because money is so dry might as well just create a virtual set-and-go machine that will continue to work for me while I'm not at the computer. Whether I lose or win, I get to focus my time on other enriching things.

From having done it for awhile and picking up on really cool trading systems, I'm just really enthusiastic about staying in and starting out with possibly only $2000. I originally planned on rising $25000 of my life savings, but now I have reduced it to the two most favorable currency pairs that work to my favor. I don't even pay attention how the dollar is growing weaker than the Euro because my thing is on autopilot most of the time!

Proof of Profit

The graph at the bottom represents that my backtest of last year proved to be a winning strategy for this currency. I pretty much programmed from scratch a combination I thought would be a winner and it theoretically took place. I am currently in profit with demo testing this currency; I may eventually put it to the real test with possibly a $1000 account.

The great thing about this platform called MetaTrader4 is that it is able to throw in recent data from last year and fast forward to right now, while testing the logic I desire. I just put it on fast forward, so the test usually lasts about ten minutes on average. This program of mine I wrote has quite a lot of elements, so I noticed the A.I. working pretty hard crunching numbers for me.

Important To Reveal True Feelings

I'm noticing these days that what we do with our time is what pretty much makes up our being. With the things that happen for myself, it's sometimes really hard for me to let go of some things. It's pretty much unimportant to pursue for my actual level of happiness. I think I just have to learn to manage and balance my time better. I just see that there's so many things opened up for me to do and a lot of different opportunities.

I'm still facing these bored feelings of wanting to keep myself occupied. I think I need to prepare myself and to just discipline myself to get to a position I need to be in. What my friend told me in making a relationship happen with a girl is to pretty much be honest with her when you really like her and if she says "No" you just have to move on. Anyway that guy had the girl who broke his heart end up being interested in giving him a chance again. He was really shaken up for the last few years and then when this happy thing happened for him, he started becoming mellow and giving me advice about the important things in life. I hope it works out for him, but never know.

Turning On Proper Think Caps

I want to do so many things at once. I can't really put it all together and be totally satisfied with myself right now because my body just naturally finds this attraction with doing a few things to maintain myself. I'm really going to have to start this whole multi-tasking thing where I'm just focusing on one thing at a thing for a period of time. In terms of operating systems, analogously I want to use a round-robin system. Hey, I majored in Computer Science and came out with a meager 2.4 GPA and Bachelor's Degree, so might as well recall something!

I was all over the place in college, too. I was like taking 20 units and bombing a course per quarter! I would end up getting C's all over the place and with the rest of my time outside of class and doing an all-nighter to finish up my course work, I would be playing video games and screwing around with myself. Fortunately, I never got myself caught up into the idea of drinking or doing drugs. For myself, I believe that the ultimate substance of passion and energy comes from within, so I wouldn't be able to imagine myself relying on a non-human substance driven from a plant to give me sensations. I just don't copy with that feeling and it's permanent for me. All the fun comes from using myself as the main machine of creating personal sensations! Oh yeah, there's the hangovers too like being moody about stuff or anxious but working hard to get out of those things wasn't easy at first, but I managed finally.

Placing Proper Focus

About this whole money issue where I play poker to take other people's money, I'm realizing that it's a thing that I have been really ignorant over. Basically, I'm playing for my own benefit and not thinking about the misfortune of others at the table. I think that's how mostly all poker players are going to think anyway. The part that sucks the most is losing and then having to grind many hours again to break even and put in even more hours to make profit.

As a result, from the amount of experienced I have gained in playing poker, I'm pretty much a 50-50 player. I will sometimes profit and other times, I will lose but end up breaking even. The thing that I hate the most about the game is just spending all that time like you are having fun doing something and then realizing that nothing came out of it. For myself, my measuring tool is how much money I made from that session. When I lose, man I'm so spoiled because I don't want to spend more time trying to make back the profit I lost.

Overall, I'm just going to play some of it whenever I'm in the mood and not and hopefully I profit from it. I use a bank-roll management strategy where I only lose like 1% of it so that I will always be in the game. At the same time, I am so wish-washy about it. I don't really want to feel like I'm wasting my time. It's only good when I'm winning and when I'm losing, it sucks.

I have adopted an alternative to playing poker which is pretty much trading stocks. Then, I don't have to be sitting down and literally watching second-by-second my money depleting away. At least I can go do something else as a result! I really like that a lot better. Even when I'm winning money, I could still be focused on something else more worthwhile to me. Overall, poker is like a device for me to make money as a business and the game can have days where it's running slow and other times where it's running hot. Anyway, it is a pretty exciting game. See, how wish-washy I am?

Being Among Friendly People

Socializing with a bunch of great and mindful people who just want to participate in something fun and hanging out while meeting new people is just a wonderful thing! I didn't mind and was just like mindless about stuff in general and was really having fun in a genuine sense. I guess that's a good thing. I really should be careful with some people I associate with now and put a little profile on them because I'm very tolerant with annoying people in general.

I guess when things just come up in life and from starting to understand how things work in life with people in general, I'm just moving along these days and able to sort of laugh about things that happen. Man, I really hate losing at games that involve money. With all of that time spent and then you end up losing some money, it's just like you had fun but still lost and didn't make profit which was the intent and so it's something I should avoid now.

My Flawless Personality

There's an area of my personality that is pretty much perfect and can't be undone. This is my strongest suit in my personal walk in life. I pretty much aim to get along with everybody no matter how mad or judgmental I felt with them at that moment of time. To show proof, I have never removed any of my Facebook friends from my profile. I won't ever remove anyone no matter how annoyed I feel with them because I don't think words to argue over is something to get so flustered over. Basically, I do all the mind games with people so it's the other people who end up removing me from their Facebook page.

Sometimes I do feel that sense of insecurity with someone on my Facebook page or I can sense or remember someone who removed me from their Facebook page and confirm it. It's really weird that I can track it like this. Basically, one of my biggest arguments in my life have basically been about asking why a person blocked me and that we should reconnect again much to their chagrin. I probably ended up making fun of her unintentionally or really bothered her with mindless fluff about life.

I really like to pretty much be a peacemaker and with this act of me never removing anyone from Facebook, I guess that makes me one step better than the people I ended up bugging about to add me back as a friend. I think I should reveal it to them in due time.  

Putting Words Into Actions

One of the things that my mama still tells me from time to time is that I should be placing my verbalized thoughts into action now. For awhile, I just didn't know what was going through my head because it's like all these chemicals in my head are telling me to just be lazy and rot away while being a couch potato and obsessed freak about meaningless things.

These days I'm just more aware of the truth that is going on with my life and I am personally not afraid of where I am headed. I'm seeking for something that would work in my life, and I am not going to let something bother me anymore. It's a lot of hard work to put on that focus for me, and it's really enjoyable for me too. It's just about being patient and putting in a whole lot of effort to get to where I want to be and not stressing out from all of that effort I'm putting into now.

I guess I'm going to try to play it smart now and work with the things that actually make sense for me. Of all the things that used to bother me, it's a daily effort for me to not let those things kill the mood for me. As I grow more in knowledge and become aware of circumstances through a person's actions and perceiving their words to uncover any flaws such as lies, I seriously know what I want in life with those people. It's to basically not be bothered by them!

Making My Daily Goals A Habit

I'm finding myself drawn to playing the piano and working with my computer daily right before going to work. It isn't really a bad thing for me, but I think I could make a few more improvements. With everything that's been added up, I think it's time to make progress with my life.

I am a person who has been very capable of influencing very small groups of people. I don't even aim to be that way. I have become really comfortable with myself and there's just this sense of stability in my heart these days.

Living For What's Appealing

I guess since it's the weekend right now, and I have all this time and don't really have to work, I should really practice on the things that I ought to be doing. My mind is connecting and through all these fantasies that I'm playing through my head, it's just practically a waste of time.

It seems like when everything is going well for me, I just let that one little and small thing in my life mess with my head. From all of those faults I've placed myself into, it seems like I'm learning the good things about them from working hard to not to be bothered by anything.

Letting Things Go

I'm noticing that it really doesn't matter with the circumstances that have happened to me in the past. I shouldn't really be letting the evil funny things get to me now. I just need to brush off myself and move forward now. 

When I look into things more deeply, I am realizing that the bad things that are part of my life don't really have that much great influence to what is really going on in the world. It's a shame that there are people out there including myself who sometimes just think about other things and forget about what should be really happening. I'm just zoning myself out these days and not really doing that much. I don't want to be that type of person.

Using Your Imagination

Today, with one of those really cute girls who I just go to know as a friend because she seems like a young high schooler who barely graduated and is still a teenager, I spoke to her about using your imagination. It's pretty interesting how some very young females can really be mature and whereas, there are a couple who are pretty wild and actually quite open about it in a funny way. Those wild girls can actually be really nice to people in general if they are sensitive creatures.

Anyway, I spoke to her about what she said looked like a tree house. I pretty much said it looked like a house where my pet could live in. It was pretty boring what I said and then I said that I was using my imagination. One of the guys overhearing our conversation threw an identifiable object at me and it hit me too very accurately! It was his hat. Wow, I guess a guy really has to be incited to do something like that with another guy.

I just remembered how cool it was to be in one of my friend's tree house. I just thought it was a prop back then, but now looking back, it was really cool, I got to climb the ladder and go up to that house and actually lay there and do stuff there. I never had a chance to bring a girl up there, but oh well. I'm sure my friend might have and then became engaged to her the year after. I remember something like that from his mom telling me. Things just change fast.

Things Becoming More Greener

I guess through desiring to focus on the right things these days, it doesn't seem to be that much hard anymore. Maybe that's pretty much a $1 billion concept for a few people; get out of town, no way, right? In one sentence, I'm pretty much giving away a simple idea that is just so hard to master. Fortunately, no one has to be perfect to become a billionaire! My friend said that he wanted to be the first trillionaire, which is funny to even think a fully grown man would say something like that. I want to be a millionaire, billionaire, or trillionaire too!

Maybe with the exception of inflation growing so high, then maybe we won't see a trillionaire in this century. I am basically talking about money in dollar signs because I am sure maybe some currencies could reach astronomical values and still be considered worthless in the eyes of a billionaire!

Stepping Further In Life

To get further ahead in life, I'm noticing that I really need to let go of a lot of my own personal distractions. Like, I don't really have time to do "Facebook stalking" on people I'm mad at or the cute girls I just want to grovel over. This one Facebook friend ended up liking all of his future girlfriend's comments and photos. He has a good point because that girl is actually a beautiful woman with a great heart! I actually liked her too but I guess the ones I like and who are single momentarily will find someone a guy to marry. I'm just about 100% in this category, so I guess the girl I pick out and seem to be fond of with all of my heart might just very well be someone who will be cherished by another if I don't get to her first.

It's just all life. If those girls I liked actually ended up hanging out with me, then I am certain that I can uphold the challenge of finding an even greater woman to love. One of the issues I sort of have had trouble with is liking girls who are barely out of high school. They may be really cute and innocent but I'm not like that anymore so much because I feel like a dad if I'm at least like five years older. I guess that doesn't logically make sense, but I can just see her like a really cute sister to have fun with then.

Learning Things From People

In order to learn something you are dying to know about, you can't just make reasons based on pure scientific evidence, you have to also ask them and get to know the person, even if the person is hiding something. Just by speaking to them, you can get an idea of how they are hiding themselves from you or others. Even if the person is just quiet and having a poker face, that pretty much means the person has that type of personality.

With you asking all those funny questions or offensive remarks just to see how the poker face person acts, gets pretty interesting. If he or she gets all crazy on you, then might as well call the cops for emergency backup. 

Being Stable

I believe that stability with others starts within the self. The saying goes "Help yourself, before helping others." Another one goes something like, you can't dive in like a lifeguard and save someone from drowning in a deep ocean if you can't swim either. Also, stability is portrayed in that the more aggressive and conscientious individual is going to end up conquering and taking all the chips in the pot while he or she is incredibly stable.

In other words, if both individuals are unstable then the aggressive person becomes the loser. However, if the aggressive person is more stable than the quiet person then the aggressive person will win. I am an aggressive person, so I have to be stable at all times or else I will lose to quiet insubordinate jerks all the time! About this whole thing where quiet jerks end up blocking me on Facebook after messaging them unstable remarks about how stupid they are, yeah it doesn't matter too much to me anymore! If I do go up to them, I will be completely stable with them and probably make fun of them while being stable underneath in my heart. They might go screaming and trying to chew my head off, but because I am stable, I will calmly and assertively make fun of them and be very reasonable and convincing about how they should go get some professional help.Therefore, no matter how distressed they look, they will like a bunch of losers. No matter how much they try to get me off guard and unstable again, I won't go there and keep conquering them and even get them to unblock me again on Facebook and add me again as a friend! Hahaha and then start making stable comments that insult or offend them, while they can't do anything about it, while I just keep on laughing. 

Been Very Busy

I guess it seems like I've been keeping my mind focused on other things that I really haven't had the time to really write on this blog. It's really hard for me to stay consistent for me even though I have done so for the last three years. It's pretty amazing with the interesting stuff I have written in the past. I still am amazed at the content I have put and how much humor and amusement I actually had while not really noticing it.

This is something new that I'm finally learning. I don't really care too much about the little things in people anymore. What I mean is that it's not going to really bother me so much anymore and talking about it with the person might just feel too weird. If I do end up going that road, I'm probably just going to end up being nice with the person and end up making that person look really bad with others. Later, I would probably suggest they get some professional help or something like that.

I don't know why, but I just like pushing the envelope in those types of areas. It's definitely a really annoying thing about myself. I'm not really so much hurt about things that are said to me; I mean I might feel a little uneasy temporarily but afterwards, it doesn't really get to me anymore. I'm taking a little more notice with some people, in like how they might have a really good impression about me or they might be complete jerks and wackos with me. 

Living In New Awareness

Over these last couple months, I've been starting to put things together. The simple concept that dissipates a lot of my personal issues is to simply just make an effort to not let anything bug me. One of the main things that I'm realizing and trying to laugh over now is this feeling of self-sorrow from seeing myself shorter than some people. It feels like a temporary bipolar chemistry for me that goes underneath. This girl I dated told me that I could wear masculine high heels to feel a lot taller. I told her, "No, I'm going to deal with the pain and work hard to not be bothered by my height."

It's been something I've been so aware of now and with the little things that I feel moody about when I'm around some old friends. I see the bigger picture a lot more and feel more self-confident about myself and personal appearance. Hey, it helped that my date wanted to kiss me for long periods of time even if she was just interested in using me to feed her love addiction. She confided in me with some of her extreme life struggles with her relationships that I have sworn myself to secrecy. I'm never letting it out and will help her out with doing some damage control. I was one of the few people she was able to tell her whole life story with me because she needed someone to release all of the guilt upon and also I confided in her that I wouldn't be judging her. Hey, she was like another guy friend to talk to about my own things and it was cool to share some of my own personal stuff with a female and be understood. We understood each other and connected!

It was nice to finally meet one of those types of girls. Anyhow, I'm keeping myself busy while she's interested in hanging out again as a friend with me. She also told me that not all women hold off on dating a man just because he's short. I totally believe her and see how it applies with myself now. I'm also not so keen on being bothered about my personal height anymore even though I sometimes feel the bipolar effect temporarily from standing and naturally comparing my height with other people. I'm working hard to not be bothered by the differences anymore and so far it's been good for me!

My Neat Forex System

My Forex system has been developed through some usage of my programming skills. It's really crazy that I am finally making use of my computer science degree because it is surely making my life a lot easier now in trying to make money with trading currency!

I developed programs which automatically manage my trades and another program that tells me if I have a good shot with the market at the top right corner of the picture. I think possibly 70% of the time, I will see the "WAIT" sign but other times, I will have a chance to roll and see what happens! I am going to try out both automated and manual trading and see if I can combine them both to make a decent return with the tools I have been trying to tweak into my own favor.