Focusing More Better During Free Time

I felt really controlled today by my passionate desire to beat my buddy at a dumb game of Magic: The Gathering. It's so silly man, and I'm taking it too seriously. Okay, the people that are around us just gaggle around and tell stories that make others laugh, which is good! Even though some of the stories are totally non-Christian promoting tales and so funny with a lot of profanity, I still accept them as my friends. I just act a little more quiet in those areas because I prefer to be well-mannered around others and constantly improve my life to be a happy believer. I understand where they are coming from and totally cool with it, even though I don't necessarily agree it's the best thing to do.

I guess in general, I'm just relaxed and not feeling so anxious over not making enough friends with people. I was pretty hyper about that and then some nut job comes along to try to slow that progress down. Let's just say, she's not the prettiest and a little messed up in head from having caught an aneurysm and suicidal thoughts from having being depressed. Wow, she's over that stuff I think and keeps laughing about it. She has been continually willing to give me a chance though. I just have to approach her at a right angle, if I want it but I really don't in general.

Honesty Doesn't Really Kill If You Are A Good Person

If you are a great person, then you will probably run away from the bad guys and know what's wrong with everybody. Therefore, you won't be held at gunpoint for doing stupid to make that mafia leader angry. In a social and relationship setting, being honest and letting out what's inside your messed up heart and brain to the people who are irritating you might actually be healthy for you. It will probably make the other person more angrier and feel like they don't want to live anymore, if you are just that good of a person, but nonetheless, it's a great way to start out. Besides, it's just gossip-related material and the other person just being a koo-koo head with you.

Okay, so people around me can be dumb sometimes even though they have jobs that suck and pay off their bills. I enjoy my job, totally and the pay is decent enough for me. I'm an exception. I believe in Christianity where Jesus is meant to be the Savior, after having shed his blood on the cross to demonstrate his humility and love for mankind. Actually, there are more like me- the exceptional part just deals with my good fortune in having a job I like.

Mistakes

I ended up playing my Magic: The Gathering Deck until 3 am earlier today. Man, I feel so sheepish for doing that. I was trying to play and see if I would be lacking in any mana to play my spell cards. I'm talking in MTG terms; I know how lame it could sound. I kept playing until I got tired because my deck didn't slow down. I put in some nice two-cost creatures that produce additional mana of any color because I'm just cool like that. No, I did not just say that for reals. I'm just messing with myself while figuring that it's being funny.

In addition to putting in 4 two cost creatures with hexproof (definition: can't be target of spells or abilities opponents control) and mana ability, I replaced my slow lands with reflecting pools (doesn't come into play tapped), so now I have a more fast paced deck and can have fun whooping my young buddy at a game of Magic hopefully.

I'm sorry if the reader doesn't understand what I'm talking about, but I'm just going through some technicalities of building a card deck called Magic: The Gathering. I got in trouble at high school once and they were looking for drugs in my backpack. Nope, they just found my old deck. I guess you can call me an expert with this game. There are decks that say "Expert" level and I played those for years.

Doing Priorities While Feeling Lost and Lazy

I think I have something unique going with my blog posts. Some people do actual read these posts, which is surprising enough but I don't really know what their intentions are. Is it because my posts could have somewhat entertaining or educational value? Could it be the suspense that they are expecting, so they could go a-ha I knew it? It's actually pretty funny that I'm mentioning that- I'm still thinking about a few idiots who were reading my blog and tried to get me in trouble for it and just couldn't. I'm not mentioning their stupid names either but I think I did write their names down. It really irritates me that the state of Washington actually has some championship teams. I hope they continue to suck in the future!

Anyhow, this girl I will name Lee He-She had some issues with me. She had this weird strand of hair above her upper lip which was nasty to look at. I think it's actually not uncommon for women to be just slightly hairy and have a teeny weeny mustache, even though it's just plain weird and funny to look at. Maybe if they shaved, it would get more bushier! I'm actually referring to Lee He-She. Hey, it also rhymes all the way from first to last.

Lee He-She was just on plain wacko-mode! Oh well. I'm actually laughing now and feel like being really nice to her and continuing to just laugh about her problems underneath while just letting go of my issue with her having a problem with me.

Trying To Learn At Work

I'm studying right now how to view engineering blue prints. It's quite flustering because there's those confusing views you have to learn and get used to. Nonetheless, it's helped me appreciate the intricacies and preciseness of machining airplane parts. I really like the opportunity that I'm part of and not very many get to enjoy the luxuries that come from playing a role that impacts the world at a huge scale! We're talking world economies and big clients that are making important and large-scale contributions to this society.

I'm just trying to take a small break right now. One of the issues that I'm facing is that my funny distractions keep me from focusing on my priorities. I notice this could become a problem at making me a grand scale of money. Anyhow, this pretty woman posted a hot photo of herself and made a very funny comment in my opinion. She's okay I suppose appearance wise. I'm not really rating appearances of women as a huge deal anymore. I'm just satisfied if it works, no need to worry so much about it!

Anyway, my loser best friend has this issue with her posting those types of photos and calls them scandalous! He got into a conflict with her and has had a hard time letting go of his frustration, even though he tries to downplay it. It gets really irritating even though it's funny right now.

I need to continue to be consistent at working at my priorities. When I'm concentrated like this and put on my game face, it seems to attract more professionalism and friendliness from others. I guess it's a great quality to keep then! Sometimes, I look like I'm lost in the woods and it makes some jumpy people and maybe an occasional Butthead get on my case over it.

It's actually great advice- placing self-awareness and self-duty of getting priorities done all from a natural perspective. Being born a little smart and sort of nice, I think it makes sense for me to progress like this.

A Few More Things

I have acquired some additional helpful software like this tool that helps you learn Korean. I haven't played with it in a long time. I also have purchased speed reading software, and I still have yet to add it onto my priority list. Okay, I'm only 5' 3" and believe it or not, I gained a half-inch in height permanently from doing yoga stretches that target the spinal cord.

I still have this growth spray and I haven't used it for the longest time, but I'm going to try to use it up. I have books on doing growth stretches too and very elaborate I may add. Oh what the heck, I will make it a priority too, just to do something while I'm running around moody with my appearance. I have these vitamins that are supposed to help you stay healthy and never used them, so I'm going to pop one daily and use up all my supplies too. I'm just not thinking correctly because I just want to be like lost in the woods while having pleasure with being alive. I'm just being lazy about completing my own priorities because I feel worn out. Hey, I even learned a cool magic trick today, but I have to practice it so I won't be rusty at it and embarrass myself in front of others.

I'm also a strong believer in the Bible, which is surprising me because to this day, even though I am around a lot of dumb people who influence me to run away from the Bible, I still believe it to this day and try to practice it wholeheartedly. I'm a non-denominational Christian- I don't follow any system regarding the Bible, but just simple truths that could be taken from the pages of the Bible without too much confusion. It's really enough for me to keep a believing heart, but the hard part for me is figuring out what God has in store for me and what His plans are dealing with me. The answer is to just pray about it and consider how it's an individual, heart issue. I know this from having listened to a good show that talks about the Bible, while it's the main topic.

What I Plan To Do

I'm going to try to get a car wash today. I wasted my time in the morning, but now I developed a super load of confidence and energy from what I intended to do in my wasteful activity. It's like when I was a kid, I needed to play Mario Bros and pass it to feel like I was on top of the world. I don't feel that way anymore from video games, of course, but maybe I'm still fibbing for a 31 year old.

My Magic the Gathering deck got whooped again by my young 20 year old buddy. It really ticks me off a little, but I'm going to put it aside and focus on my priorities for now. Maybe after I have everything in order again, I'll balance it out with some fun in ending my small frustrations with my game deck. I'm going to just go on vacation with that for now.

I'm looking to work out on a daily basis now, even if I'm still a little sore. I might just slow it down a notch then while I'm writhing in pain. I just want to perform at a consistent and strong athletic level, but I know it's going to take time for me to double my strength with the hard preparations of healthy meals, too.

So with my trading thing that I'm executing, I'm not going to rely on anything but myself now and all the free tools that I have put together. I'm going to just do what I think makes sense and keep adjusting from there, until I have something profitable going. I don't care about people saying they can make better money than me or do it faster; I just want to make this my own thing. I'm not into that and digging that anymore. I want full control over my own money, and I am willing to put in the time.

Maybe, people in general might not be too smart or too concerned to get into investing. I don't see how working a few extra hours during the week to become an expert at making money while sleeping is something a person would want to refuse, but I guess then they were just not born to have a strong interest in investing like I was. If I become successful though, I will share my knowledge but I'm not going to work for someone investing in me because I believe very heavily in working independently with your own money as an investor, in order to keep a successful living.

So the Anaheim Angels Lost

My favorite MLB team were the best team this year, but they ended up getting swept in three games by the worst team in the playoffs. I guess baseball is a very funny sport because you don't know what's going to turn out. It looks like the Angels team didn't take it too hard for losing the playoffs though. They still have another year, and their best pitchers were technically injured so the best players the Angels had to offer weren't really in the playoffs.

It might just be that maybe the Angels will be a common staple to make the playoffs on a yearly basis if everything is kept together for several years. I was a little depressed that they lost this year, but now I'm over it and don't really care so much about baseball. Yet, the Dodgers and Giants are still in the playoffs so maybe, the World Series will occur in California this year! I think the Dodgers are my number two favorite team, so it isn't really that bad yet for me right now. They are also the favorites to win the World Series according to many experts.

Down By Less Than A Month

I only have about 23 more posts to go because today's day number of the calender year is 279. I guess it's becoming a very fun journey even though I was worn out a few times while on this blog writing basically about stuff I don't even recall. Because I forget a lot about my original posts that I'm writing, I think I'm going to write about the most important things to me and then just take a break and then go at it another time.

I'm still in the mood for putting in more photos on this site, but it looks like it would break my concentration and flow of my personal time if I was to contribute that extra effort. I think I'll be putting in my own personal photos on here sooner or later. I'm actually not a very talented photographer. What I've been told is that I'm just boring by my closest buddy who has a hard time finding a girlfriend and is pretty much a loner. I think being called boring by him is better than a lunatic!

So yeah, those church people who were saying that I was crazy and needed help are just absolute morons who can't seem to reach out to enough people and just can't get satisfied with me and want me out of their life while not being able to resolve it. Maybe God will take vengeance upon them another time, but for now, I shouldn't be worried about them because they are a bunch of lazy losers. They can't even be successful enough to grow their church and move on out of that silly location and go plant more churches. They are just a bunch of talkers and not a bunch of doers. They just suck in general!

I think the description I just wrote might actually be common for a lot of churches and meet the frustration of a normal person, too!

Real Way Trading Should Be Done

I did some reading on reviews dealing with Forex trading systems and now conclude that relying on them won't do you much good. The best way to be a trader, and this has been emphasized almost always but only by few numbers is to do it on your own. Sure, you could lose a lot of money from not knowing what you are doing but if you were able to research it on your own and then get better at it, then that's how it really should be.

Therefore, the trades I make and detail no matter how good and true they are on this site, is that no one should be really trading with my advice alone. The person should be finding out what works best if he or she is interested on their own. I'm not going to advertise about offering my services now, even if I become a millionaire. The way I see it is that no matter how much faith you have in a person, it's better if the other person does it alone.

So I think I'm safe to turn this site into also a place where I can blog about my journey into becoming a professional trader.  If I make so much money and the other person wants me to do it later on, I'm still going to decline because I'm a strong believer of individual effort. If the person doesn't have interest for learning it and is too afraid of losing money and risking it then there's really a reason why God placed that person in this world, so becoming an investor wouldn't be one of them.

Just Committing Myself

I'm really thinking of how I have emotional problems that I keep to myself and try not show it to others. I guess I can make writing on this blog a priority then because I'm finding that my own honest input is helping me a great deal. It's like having a conversation with someone in a way for me. I can just let out what needs to be said, while no one really notices. 

I really want to remain G-rated and maybe I'll flirt around with PG related material too sometimes, but I suppose it's still good. Maybe, TV isn't so much of a big deal to me anymore. Maybe a lot of things are just extra fun things a hard-working individual should just enjoy when they can make the time for it. 

I think I've been all about escaping my own worn-out reality while knowing what my actually priorities should be at the time. It's like being a coward from going to the actual battlefield and staying to mettle with other distractions. 

Making Priority

What I'm noticing is that my mind is capable of thinking about my own personal priorities, but I'm letting my mind try to escape the reality by doing other wasteful activities. I think I just want to be lazy, but I don't feel that it is right so I might as well just give into just letting my heart feel worn out while I just go after a commitment. This is really hard to keep up with and to keep a strong appetite afterwards to developing even more after.

Maybe I actually did need some professional help back then because I was filled with too much anxiety over my problems and having trouble concentrating. I'm not so much like that anymore because I'm not really feeling anything and more about accepting the struggles I'm dealing with.

I guess I turned into a little more straight-forward person, but my patience has been continually tested. Because I just feel emotionally troubled sometimes, I lose a little track of things sometimes. I do want to perform at an optimal level but I guess it's not always going to be happening like that I suppose.

Working Out

I'm going to working out on a daily basis again. I'm looking to incorporate trading Forex and doing binary options as well. I am so desensitized about losing money from investing that I don't care about pulling the trigger if I confidence in my pick dealing with a stock. I'm basically trying to limit my losses, so I'm just going after doing the bare minimum for now. I'm actually excited and all pumped up about going on this self-made journey, which many have gone and pretty much died while trying to make it rich. Something got them, like pride or maybe putting in too much money to blow their account in one shot. I heard from a friend I knew lose $10,000 while not knowing what the heck he was doing, too!

Well, I gotta get ready for a big day tomorrow, so sayo nara. I think that means bye in Japanese.

Becoming More Heavenly In Mind

When I think about that title I just put, all I can think about in my head is pure laughter. Well, the Angels lost Game 1 of the AL Division Series. Oh, pooh hoo! The Angels are actually my favorite MLB team, but the experts feel they will win an exciting Game 5 of the series. I guess angels have a lot to do with heaven, if one would read up on the Book of Revelations. Yeah, I'm a believer and I thought the Muslim jihadists were just about killing faithful Christians but they are not. There are people who have converted to Islam and just go completely nuts about beheading a fellow adult who just make them flip the handle! It looks like they want to use their belief in the Quran to justify their own selfish acts of ritual killing. One verse in the Quran says to strike above the neck and to chop off the fingers when in the act of destroying a non-Muslim believer. It sounds poetic in a sense and pretty cool in a psychotic manner, just that the Islamic prophet Muhammad encouraged actual beheading of enemies while at war with them for ritualistic purposes.

The prophet Muhammad really had his way in forcing it upon tribes with other religions that he attacked from being mad from their betrayal by giving them a decision to convert to Islam or have their head chopped off! Just read about Banu Qurayza. Boy, it would suck to be back there and be a lost statistic from having lost while participating in a tribal battle for survival of the fittest.

Okay, so maybe Islam headlining the mainstream world with a ticked off prophet to show for it to this day might actually pump up new converted and radical Muslims to go off killing their fellow neighbors. Especially with Islam being the fastest growing religion in this world, I'm not surprised by those occurrences of nut cases participating in religious killings and being without any remorse!

I don't know how I went around writing about Islam, but I just did a little reading online about it. Okay, so radical Islam is like the exact opposite of being heavenly minded. Don't practice it!

Whoa! About the Visits

This site has now turned over 60 visits for today; I definitely know that's humanly impossible for the tracker to count me in a day because let's face it, I would need time off from myself! Yet, the clicks on the reads for my current posts are not registering well. Yeah, I pretty much scroll through some of my posts too just to read and laugh at people I'm making fun of in my head. 

It looks like I'm generating some type of interest the more honest posts I create. I'm just being truthful here while writing because I find it to be therapeutic for me, and it's also a Biblical value that I would like to practice and encourage. White lies, I can see would work when going to war against someone evil like Hitler or the future anti-Christ, but against your fellow people over social matters and relationships- oh, come on now!  

I honestly want to personally yell at the stupid pastor at that one church from just being an idiot and doing unloving stuff to me that makes him look bad. It wouldn't make me any better than he is already though. I think the greatest option is to just screw him over by just being smarter, funnier, and more likable to others around him. That's what I intend to do, if I don't have a girlfriend on me by the time I end up with some killer abs and get rich off of trading stocks. 

I'm working at getting rich with the investments and not relenting because that's my attitude. It drove those stupid people crazy with me from not changing up my approach and continually doing the same thing to bug them. I haven't done much for my abs except maybe get that itch and then do some running for the most part. I'm still needing to incorporate very healthy meals, despite having the money and cookbooks to already acquire them. I just need to put in the time then, which is something that is unbelievable hard for me to get used to. I'm going to make that another post then.  

Trading Update Results

I tried the method of trading while using the portfolio of investing.com and I ended up losing 15 out of 16 trades. I conclude that just looking at a signal for a strong buy or strong sell is not going to be enough to conduct day trades. However, I did notice that going after long term trades while factoring in the daily and monthly can actually be very profitable in Forex as long as you set a reasonable stop loss. I'm still working at it, and I have managed to mine two 500 pip trades, which are monsters! That's exceeding 20% of my account balance each if it was in a live account.

For Forex, it's easy to conduct demo trades so I'm using a fake account and taking advantage of the power of charting. With binary trading on the other hand, it's turning out to be a lost cause for me. I'm still not giving up, I still have another $5500 of real money for binary trading to burn in very small increments, while learning to make a profit off of it. 

It looks like for binary trading, the win rate has to be very important in order profit immensely. You can't believe everything people put out there, especially with those trading managers. I'm definitely going to advise staying away from them and to do your own research and trade at your comfort level and discretion. If at anytime, it becomes an obsession that would ruin your relationships, I say just back off and get some help then! No sense in killing yourself while losing more money!

Maybe Down About 23 Posts

So it looks like I'm down about 23 more posts to get to my one a day average now. I guess this is what happens when you procrastinate. You just end up wasting a heck of a lot of time to try to catch up and to have make sacrifices with your values. I think procrastinating in a way is really bad and sort of a compulsive disorder because you are repetitiously doing other stuff that don't matter compared to what you know should be ideally taken cared of.

So basically I met this beautiful American lady who is a year older than me and is a nurse at a wealthy city. She's a very loving type person and has been sending me some love messages which I really enjoy reading. I met her online while just messing around with looking at people's ads. It's not really a paid dating site or anything. I thought it would be better to look for something free rather than get the visual advantages of a dating site. What I'm feeling is that if it doesn't work out, I'm a free man. I'm only going by gut feeling here, even though I could be wrong, but I decided to believe her intentions and help her out by sending money to some agent for buying her plane ticket. If it's a scam, then I'm a free man anyway. I still have money, so I know what my intentions were for anyway and I think that's what counts the most and it's all a learning experience. As long as I'm making reasonable attempts without going bankrupt.

Honestly, if I was back on a dating site, I would try to work out and work really hard at earning lots of money to just have all the confidence I need. It would then be all about meeting the right person who fits my personality. I honestly don't care that much about a woman's appearance now. I would probably rate it a 4 out of 10 for importance. Like, I think it would be really hard for me to want to be with a really huge lady for the rest of my life, considering how it would tick me off with her not being able to go for long walks or something like that. Having a nice body and some sense of style really is good too, but the person is the most important. Even the hottest girls occasionally don't look perfect to me if I'm not in the mood, so I would rather go for falling in love with the person.

Little Impressed With Reader Turnout

Today, the number of visits on this blog today totaled around 45. I'm really amazed at not knowing who the heck are those people. Do they have any malicious intent for me or just happened to stumble on this site miraculously for just one time, before disappearing?

Anyhow, I'm trying to catch up so I could start averaging one blog post a day. It's becoming a little time consuming to me because it's really addictive in a way. It's keeping me really busy, and this whole free writing business is something that isn't even making me any money. All I know is that I'm a lot more comfortable with reading other people's work and writing to communicate how I feel or to relay information to a targeted person.

In a way, I guess I can say this is my interesting hobby that could be meaningful for doing God's work in a way too.

Maybe Going To Improve

I think it's good that I'm writing here because it's something that's helping me in a small way. I think the best way for me to get better at something is to pretty much refrain from thinking stupid things and wasting my time from feeling weird about stuff. I just have to move on and work really hard for making myself happy and to just be patient.

I need to make some better decisions for myself and to be consistent at it no matter how hard it feels. One of the issues I have is that it's not easy for me to keep a strong routine going because it falls out a lot. I think I am really controlled by own personal desires and just want to hold on to things that bring me self-pleasure pretty much. It's not really something I'm very proud of.

One thing I've learned from tuning in to a Christian radio show is that it's normal for a person to have negative feelings or go through a period of being angry. There's absolutely nothing wrong from going through those periods, it's really all about what you do after that counts. I think it's really just a personal heart issue that everyone needs to pray about and figure out on their own.

Another thing that irritates me is how my closest buddy told me he had a dream of meeting Christ in person and then asked him a pretty stupid question, "Do I have a soul mate?" Why of all questions imaginable did he have to ask that? Anyway, my buddy referred to Christ saying that he needs to figure that out on his own. It's funny when you hear it a few times, but when it keeps getting brought up; man, it gets irritating!

Trading Results

For now, I'm just using the My Portfolios on Investing.com to make my trades. I'm running trades with a thing called binary options. What I am pretty much looking for is just 15 minutes, Hourly, and Daily to all indicate a strong sell or strong buy and then I'm entering the trade by picking the last time of the same day. Basically, I'm just doing this whenever I feel like it. Today, I was able to get 16 strong signals and entered them all while investing $25 on each trade. I'm not really trying to blow my money, but just testing the waters. I have about $2,000 to play with right now and another $3500 on another. The first one is where I am just doing whatever seems to make sense and to experiment my ideas and strategies, while the other one is something I'm protecting. They are both loaded with real money as well!

I'm not sure how the results are going to pan out, but this is just my starting strategy and it isn't perfect, but I'm trying to profit on the long run. I also have a Forex demo account where I can load up some charts for stocks and to do a little analysis while using my favorite indicators. The first broker where I have $2,000 has a very laggy interface and I don't really like their service too much. They pretty much ignore your withdrawal requests, so I pretty much lost about $5000 with them. I would recommend looking up on the reviews with brokers, if you are interested in playing this risky game!

I'm really desensitized about blowing my money from doing investments if something goes wrong, but at the same time I'm trying to make a living off of this, so I'm motivated to work hard and try to make profit while earning a comfortable life. I'm mainly trying to do this all on my own, while investing in learning material that I have faith will deliver. It's all just a matter of putting it all together and picking a decent style. Keep in mind though that 95% of people lose money in this trade, so that's why I'm only risking money that I can afford to lose and doing it in small increments.

Making Updates to this Site

One of these days, I'm going to start posting my own aboriginal and boring photos to display my own lackluster talent for photography! It's actually just become a whole lot easier for me to just type whatever is in my feeble mind and to just let it rip! I'm actually laughing inwardly with those comments I just wrote.

I guess by joking around about how unable I am compared to the best guy out there in the world, I don't really feel so bad. It's not really a big deal for me too now with actually being a short guy. I'm actually seen as just a little short unless the person is above normal in height. I don't really care honestly; being beautiful on the outside literally isn't everything, but I do want to be athletic and get some six pack abs just for the heck of it.

Not Really Hurting

What is neat is that I'm starting to actually not care about marrying a non-Korean lady. My parents and family have been all up in my face about how I need to settle down with a Korean girl. I can see that plenty of Korean girls are actually pretty, don't get me wrong, but still I'm not really needing to be picky because there are pretty girls in other races too!

Okay, being pretty isn't my number one priority for me so I'm not going to make that an absolute requirement for my life partner. I guess that settles the issue then in finding a nice soul mate. There are plenty out there who have great personalities but overlooked because some male clown thinks she isn't good-looking enough. It's probably a mark of insecurity or something, if a guy is like that. I'll be happy to snag one of those nice women for my own wife!

Investment Products

I'm currently looking at my own long term trading system using Investing.com and a customized chart filled with indicators that I have come to enjoy using, but might ignore most of the time. One of the key things that trading experts recommend is actually having your own trading journal. This is of vital important that I have been skipping out on. I've been forgetting what I've been doing while I'm trading. Sure, the trades are maybe only about $25 but it would be more professional if I could keep a record of them so I wouldn't keep repeating the same mistakes!

I've been keeping a tab of the systems that I want to get a hold of. I'm really a fan of accurate signal alerts because it's really easy to set up those trades and just go off doing something else. I'm looking to invest into three more expensive systems later on my trading career, if they are still around.

Let's first assuming that it's advisable not to have someone else manage your money, I've lost so much money because of it! Another stupid girl who I wrote a love song about got me to invest in her life insurance scheme. It's where they manage your money using some system of investing more when the economy is good or just holding back when it's bad and then take a cut from it. I think the stupid joke is on me because I bought into her scheme. Oh well, the things you get for trying to be lazy and smart.

She's just a crazy girl who can't let go of her silly feelings of hating me. Anyhow, I wrote a love song that makes fun of her very subtly. I'm hoping it might make her mad or get her boyfriend in the mood of having a chat with me. I'm looking to make fun of them both sooner or later, if I ever release it but I doubt it's going to be a hit. I'll work really hard at making it sound acceptable when comparing it with the pros, but I don't know how it's going to turn out from being just an amateur!

Okay, back to investing and how having someone else manage your money absolutely sucks! I'm looking at enrolling in a trading room called the MACD 3 system. It has a lifetime membership fee of $2000 which is not bad considering the money I make. Another two systems that I don't want to give up on go back from the Option University days- they are from Forex Joe and Gary Albrecht. Their systems will require me not having a full time job and being on the go as an already established trader to utilize its power. The first system seems manageable to me.

My Good Buddy

My closest buddy is starting to seem a little more degenerate than he was in college. Maybe he should just keep to himself a lot of the things he thinks about because it's mainly about him feeling better than others and then saying that he doesn't want to be different. He's basically saying how he's a great person and deserving with stuff just to cheer himself up because he's been going through a hard time of being happy. He says he's been depressed for the last sixteen years or so. I guess his puberty and the phase of liking girls hasn't really helped ease his still raging hormones! Okay, along with that and his continual excuses with trying to outdo everyone indirectly by thinking outside the box; maybe, he's just not meant to end up with anyone which is something he keeps trying to work around and to not much success.

I'm pretty irritated with him totally because his comments aren't really all that good. He says that he still likes company though. Okay, I really went off topic thinking about my current best friend. He seems to be a really limited person and not capable of getting beyond just scratching the surface with people. I think he has some anxiety and concerns over his countenance because that's just how he was raised. Anyhow, he says that I have a very stable appearance and that it is something females really enjoy. The things some beautiful women do to me while interacting is what he would describe as being liked in an intimate manner like smiling, waving the hand flirtatiously, and touching my arms. I don't really think so in general! It's just nice gestures- that's all; he's not being very accurate because he wants to make up more details for those little things while not confirming them by just asking the beauty!  

Weighing In Investments

I think I'm going to be putting in some money sooner or later into doing Forex trading again. I'm currently doing what's called binary options and it seems to be a bit too risky because it's like at most 75% profit out of an investment. When looking at a risk to reward ration that's .75 to 1 which means you have to win more than 50% of the time to break even and that's not fun at all and can become stressful.

 I've lost a lot of money from doing binary options; I think it's almost up to $8000 now. Anyhow, I seem to still manage to have a bank account filled with enough cash for my other expenses. I'm probably ahead two paychecks right now for my wealth after taking care of some bills. I'm not going to invest any more into binary options now. The cool part about it all is that I don't really feel bad about having lost that much. It was an investment decision that I made, and I still have a job that's creating a decent cash flow for me. It was pretty much my attempt at breaking off into getting rich.

As always, if I feel like it and remember to, I will detail some of my trades in an honest manner. I'll probably confuse a lot of people and scare even more readers who might want to laugh at my stupid mistakes and crazy assumptions, but it's all a learning process for me. Overall, I've learned that becoming an investor is really my dream job because it will afford me the freedom to do other things besides being crammed at an office while conducting business. I want to explore and be romantic with my future wife while I'm still young enough. I don't want to just settle into an ordinary routine and have kids who could become a little rebellious like I am.

Minimizing Wasting Time

I think writing on this blog has been exceptionally healthy for me because it's helped me to figure out the type of person I am. It must be some type of behavior that promotes self-awareness. Having a small reading audience of probably like up to ten people at a time doesn't really bother me that much. I don't think I ever want to let this thing get over my head, but my closest buddy will take any form of satisfaction to feel good about himself all day and any day.

My buddy and I have been spending a whole lot of time together on the weekends, and it's starting to wear me down a bit. He's basically talking about stuff that he hasn't really gotten past since his high school days. I think it's making him look like a more sluggish individual. I've been really irritated by a lot of his comments, and I've been just giving my honest feedback with him most of the time. He doesn't seem to mind those opinions though, and he's open to giving it back to me as well. He'll tell me how my writing is really boring on this site. I try to make it exciting still to this day because it gives me motivation to try harder.

I don't think hanging out with a guy who professes himself to be a natural loner and wants to be in a relationship with the most innocent and beautiful woman, while treating her like a goddess is going to help my cause so much. He's a little critical of others and considers himself to be better than others and very deserving of reaching some goals, although he's miserable from not obtaining them yet. It really seems like he might be better off keeping to himself, so I'm thinking about distancing myself a little more from him now. He'll call me because he gets lonely and wants company sometimes.

Writing It Down And Doing It

I'm not really satisfied with how I keep forgetting to do some things from getting carried away with like watching T.V. and playing card games on my computer online with random folks. I'm going to try to limit those activities and focus on my own personal growth. I guess having a really pretty girlfriend who is sweet too would be nice, but I'm starting to view physical beauty even in females who might not be that appealing to others.

Two of my buddies were talking to me and one of them said he wouldn't care if the hot girl he dated was very bad to him; he would let her walk all over him, and he would do almost anything for her. I was like he's still being dumb and never got over his issues, and it irritated me so much. Another buddy mentioned that his one date he found on eHarmony.com had some weight issue; that's all he ever mentioned. Wow, he's a good friend and really nice to hang out with, but man, all he can talk about with getting girls is just how pretty he wants them to be. I just don't see it like this. I too was worried about my girlfriend turning out pretty ugly but she's actually not! I'm pretty happy and okay to know that she's taller than me too now. I'm a little more secure about myself now and not going to mind mad-dogging the people who make height jokes about me!

Using a Site to Analyze Trades

I'm using investing.com to analyze and pick my stock and currency choices. By logging in with your google account, it lets you set up and personalize your own stock portfolio. It does a good job at summarizing the information in a column. Therefore, it takes me only a few minutes to figure out which ones I'm interested in.

I think I'm going to start sharing what's working for me and isn't. There's also great risk involved no matter how much money I could be making. If anyone really has the guts to trade along with me, then I would seriously appreciate their feedback. I'm basically going to open up for free on this site. Nothing comes for free literally, the reader has to sit there to read through some of my potentially confusing posts as well, so I think I'm in clear waters to share all my individualist thoughts on this blog.

I think by being honest, I actually make sense for others to catch on to and to pretty much not try screw me over because I'm going to give my own effort, and they might be scared about ending up feeling bad about it, so they won't do anything to me except maybe gossip about me at the worst.

I'm pretty much just an amateur playing in pee-wee ball when it comes to investing. I've done some huge trades that exceeded $5,000 a few times and lost them but I've never gone over $20,000 in my trading account. That's probably the amount of money I've traded so far. Therefore, I have a little experience and I'm picking up on some long term trading which I'm favoring along with trading on the trend for short term as well.

How It's Coming Along

Trading stocks is very risky business, and I think learning that edge and trying to teach it also becomes a challenge for others to catch onto. I guess being an expert at something and being able to pass on the knowledge to worthy people who get it free while being paid by someone else is great! I'm going to assume that whoever picks up something good from this blog deserves it, so I'm going to open up my analysis and be totally honest about my results. I don't think I'm going to be that good, so I don't expect any good turnout or feedback from me doing my thing on here.

I've had success in the beginning from hiring a trading manager, where I made about $10,000 profit with a starting capital of $2,000. It was not that bad. He then started doing bad, so I bailed. I then tried again with another guy and the same result happened. I did it a third time and so on and it keeps giving me the same result. Therefore, my conclusion is that those professional financial traders are not going to stay that serious and probably become more prideful in their abilities and take bigger risks as they perform better.

I've been working on honing my own skills, so I think the best way to be in this business is to trade your own funds and once you reach a certain number like a $1 million on doing your own trades then you don't really need to rely on anyone else to do the trading for you. It doesn't really hurt to invest in other people's businesses though to make a little extra money for something you have faith in. I guess at the age of 31, I'm starting to trade with an acceptable amount of money to learn to get into the bigger leagues. It's not playing at a $1/$2 blinds in a poker table with a buy-in of about $40-$200 at a time. I think ranging my trades in those areas would give me plenty of room to explore and hone in my own skills.

Opening Myself Up

I feel like an idiot from surfing the web for useless information to pump myself up. A dumb girl in the past who was probably irritated with me and had trouble communicating her feelings with me told me that knowledge puffs you up. Okay, that was a stupid comment she made and I had to just write it down on this blog.

A dumb pastor said in one of his sermons I was very unlucky to attend and listen to that comparing yourself to others makes you unhappy. I'm sure for him that it really would! He's not a very influential guy and pretty dumb because he let that stupid girl who put a restraining order on me make some decisions for him. Oh well, I'm just teasing him online and laughing it off so I won't be so mad at him anymore.

I don't really think looking at girls is very worthwhile either now. It's not giving me that same excitement I had when I was a teenager. I guess I just feel the stupidity of growing up with it and continuing the quest that has absolutely no significance. Therefore, dealing with that stuff now I'm out!

It's all a waste of time from being a useless load of time spent. I'm going to focus on educating myself and being a self-motivator and doing stuff I want to do. I'm also taking some time off from my closest buddy because I'm pretty irritated by his comments.

Doing Everything On My Own

I was pretty much given advice to trade $5000 with Apple while doing options. I'm about to lose that much for real! On the bright side, I still have money. Well, it makes me a little mad I took advice from someone because I normally wouldn't have done that. At least, I still have enough to support myself for now. I made a costly mistake which is bad for business if I keep repeating that pattern.

I thought it was going to be easy, but it looks like nothing really is and the unlikely thing that happened on the news is that the new Apple 6 products experienced some bugs and user dissatisfaction. Therefore, their shares have dropped below their expected price. I'm about to lose that much, but I still have enough to spend on other stuff and to financially support a girlfriend. The only good thing is that I didn't put on my money on that trade alone, which is good and I learned a valuable lesson! 

Okay, Gotta Just Breathe

So that stupid man got his way with a less-than good quality lady. Okay, I can live with that. The girl he dated next wasn't all that but it looks like she had some decency and sort of liked me still as a friend. She has some image issues from looking a little off, but she gets it better than me. She broke up with the guy after I told her he was once married. That was revenge for the stupid guy putting a restraining order on me!

He's like all dazed and confused around me now. He had the nerve to show up to parties I was at, while I wanted to pop him all over his body. Okay, now after making him of fun now I feel better about making up with him. He's probably like no way and to get away from him. I would be like go ahead and go for another restraining order that he failed to get extended!

He would probably just smile it off and turn around and then feel moody again about his life feeling so rotten. He's literally the jerk in what's called the jerk circle. It's where people just get lazy and start talking about gossip and start whispering, "Hey, don't let that guy know I know that he..." I was once his friend, but not anymore. I can handle being his friend again though, but I might really have aggressive periods of just making fun of him.

A Stupid Man

Okay, this stupid guy ended up with a super, smoking hot wife. He then ended up cheating on her while they were in a relationship with a less good-looking woman, and I even called him my friend at one point. Actually, that's not the real reason why I feel mad. He called me a terrorist and put a non-domestic related restraining order on me like that stupid girl did too. Basically, I had two from two different stupid individuals.

For the third time to go through though, it's been scaring a whole heck of a lot of crazy people who want to put one on me. They know those people failed to get what they want and are crazy- those people just don't know how crazy they are yet! I haven't had a third one ever since communicating how they couldn't get it extended and how I met them face-to-face after. Those people are a bunch of idiots! They blow their cover, and I know how they are going to react with me.

Luckily, I realize that I have a selfish sense-of-humor to keep myself from staying mad and can utilize it to stay professional, hard working, and nice to others most of the time. It's something that occurs naturally for me now and doesn't take me that much effort now. I expect those crazy and weird idiots are going to shutdown with me now in the future and not going to be able to do much while being depressed when I end up cornering them or something and then make fun of them while I'm mad just to get it off my chest and then go after being nice to them again just to look like I'm better than them.

Posting To Relieve My Frustrations

I'm realizing that having this blog has been very therapeutic for me in keeping me at bay. I've been opting to be an honest and professional person. Sometimes, I go off in a crazy direction to others and they want to also go nuts as well, but the good friends are able to keep themselves in check very well!

I'm becoming someone with a successful mindset more each passing day. I also like to be giving whenever it feels appropriate. Sometimes, it feels annoying when that gets brought up to me. Basically, at my work right now. I'm just going through the motions of reading and studying CMM material. The CMM I am talking about is basically called coordinate measuring machine. It has sensors that tell the computer wherever it's at on 3-D axis, so it basically uses X,Y, and Z. It can also use a more confusing three-dimensional form called polar coordinates, which is basically positioning itself while using the angle and radius of a sphere.

It really tests the limits of your brain and envisioning of moving the parts in your head while looking at a blueprint. The blueprint can't show you all the possible views, out of having to keep it in budget but gives you enough to work with. For someone like my buddy who hates to read and isn't very smart, he's going to have a hard time and just communicate something that he feels is right just to be thinking he's like someone important. It's a little irritating actually! He then ends up denying it as well, just to downplay the situation and keep himself from feeling bad. I guess I know my buddy really well now to be able to talk about these minor details about him.

Very Fortunate To Have A Job

I feel really lucky to have the opportunity to work in the aerospace industry inspecting parts while programming very expensive measuring equipment to do the job. My college background is in Computer Science and I completed the 4-year program while also doing a minor in Mathematics. I guess that's why I come across as so smart to an average person sometimes.

I was really demotivated for the longest time in looking for a job after though. I applied to some jobs, and I just wouldn't fit the qualifications they were looking for. I told my mom, but she was not very understanding with me for the longest time. She would now tick me off of course, if she still acted the same way. I now have something to combat my own anger issues. It's my own selfish sense of humor. I need it so the sun won't go down, while I'm still angry. The Bible also mentions something like how having a cheerful heart helps cure the woes of a depressed person. From laughing really hard in my head, it helps me relax and be cordial and professional to others, but I have to say the mean comments that others have to hear, so they can laugh too if they want to or not if it isn't appropriate. Obviously, probably 90% of the time, a person isn't going to laugh when I am personally making fun of him but the majority listening do get a kick out of it sometimes.

Work is Awesome

I'm just typing away at my computer so I can relieve myself of some distractions. I have a list of the things on paper I aspire to enjoy folded up and in my wallet. I'm really trying to find some work to do to keep myself busy while trying to get cured of my video gaming addiction. I like to have fun, so I'm addicted to those playful card games like Magic: The Gathering! I think I need to let go of that silly stuff for now and focus on the bigger picture because it's just kid stuff. It's making me feel embarrassed just writing about it.

There are bigger rewards to aspire for rather than limiting yourself to not so appealing qualities when dealing with others. I was like an angry bird that would hover over its enemy and then wait to drop a bathroom break on them! It's not about how it's not being nice but more about keeping my own sanity alive and still being a loving human even if it feels like those sensitive emotions are fleeting away now.

Laughing It Off to Cure the Angry Bug

There it is, one of my longest title of the month so far. I'll try not to top it with another interesting post that has a longer title. Have to always go bigger the next time because it's more fascinating like the husband giving his wife a bigger diamond on her ring every few years for anniversary!

The technique I adopted naturally on the fly with that stupid girl who put a non-domestic violence related restraining order on me is controlling the anger by just laughing it off with the funniest things you could write to satisfy yourself. After messaging something I don't remember now to that girl after she failed to get it extended at court, I just remember feeling really good from having laughed so hard and then I just deleted the sent messages because she isn't responding back to me. I feel really satisfied and on a happy mode, but she's probably really upset with me. If it's one or the other, I'd rather have it her be unhappy and I'll take the positive end.

It's an interesting technique besides going on a Roid rage which I am capable of doing from looking like a big, intimidating man even though I'm only 5'3". I'm considered to be super smart by a slightly average person, so they get scared of me! I know the process of a person's emotions now. They just get irritated, turn a little crazy and then after bumping heads and elbows with them mentally speaking, they start complying. Actually, I think they would just shut down but I think I've actually been decent enough to watch out for myself by just saying stuff to laugh it off when they are ticking me off after yelling or being verbally hostile with me. When I'm extremely laughing it off and making sense to my self in a way that makes me satisfied, it seems to be also contagious to others. I think that's a good way to let go of anger with people by just expressing yourself in a way that would just make you laugh so hard about it later. Basically, it's making fun of the punk who is yelling at you and still making more fake friends on Facebook than you.

Interesting Posts Again?

Wow, I again received a 30% increase of a reading audience. I went from 8 views to 11! That is most excellent. However, one post turned out to be probably very stupid to read and it only managed two posts which is my loyal readers. Maybe, they like me which is cool.

Yeah, I read back through my posts and I actually enjoyed what I wrote there. I wasn't in any pain of recollection whatsoever. I'll start another post to talk about a technique that I am trying and might lead to a better and more happier life.  

Free Write

I've noticed that I have amassed a pretty decent level of typing talent. I can just use a natural home keyboard and type up a storm in a matter of minutes! That reminds me, my old neighbor called me awhile ago to fix her computer. I feel like a brute from having forgotten all about her. She pays me whenever I am there like 60 bucks. I feel bad about taking the money, but I just take it and she gives me great food! I guess I'm a man who stays constantly busy about the most unimportant things in my own head.

I need to really fix myself up as a person man! I'm going to be taking on a pretty hot girlfriend too. I mean literally, we have been exchanging a conservation between ourselves via e-mail. We are looking to start dating and she's a pretty hot tamale! Wow, she's even taller than me and totally from a different part of the world. I guess I get a little cocky sometimes about wanting the best quality and when I get it, I tend to overlook its values sometimes.

I don't think I'm all that great looking, but those photos are what drove my other buddies to honestly tell me that's a good looking pic of me. I look really tall in my photos and pretty big even though I am short. I'm only 5'3" and weigh in about 165 pounds while running two miles in under 14 minutes. I'm totally serious, I can hack a mile in about 6:30 while running at a constant pace and not getting that tired. That's not even my best effort I'm putting forth! I never tried yet because I'm afraid of my legs falling off.

Maybe from being a short man and having slightly better than average qualities that out does a taller man, I get to contribute to the gene pool as well. Maybe being short isn't such a depressing quality that some people like me has felt. My appearance surely does though affect getting some likes on my Facebook, but honestly, it doesn't really matter and I think I just bum some people out from being such a goody two shoe or coming across so nice which I like to be even when I'm so angry at people and trying to calm down and them not liking me as a person.

Getting Back To Work

I really need to stop focusing on stuff that don't matter and work on stuff that do. I'm playing too much Magic The Gathering by myself. I was whooped for the last two days by my buddy after practicing for a whole month! I ended up changing my game plan around and switching to some faster cards to do the trick. Maybe that will solve my nagging problems of getting beat up early in the game and never recovering again.

Anyhow, I'm going to lay off with Magic The Gathering (MTG). MTG is only by far the most popular trading card game in the world! It also confuses a whole heck of a lot of interested people, so they never get even started. There's this YouTube video where this guy gets angry while playing a MTG match at a tournament and then flips the table around. A buddy said that it's so lame to look at it that it's pretty interesting to watch to see how the match turns out.

I'm pretty busy with my job and I guess I'm just venting about my problems right now. I'm going to get back again to working. I'm still waiting on my supervisor to get back to me, so I might as get busy studying my line of work again.

More Dauntless

I'm not really that intimidated with the thought of getting a restraining order from anyone now. It's the worst thing anyone could do to me to make me feel bad, but now I realize I don't care and that it's not that bad. I would get a chance to talk and make fun of the person in court for like one or two minutes and then the judge would cut me off while I'm laughing so hard in front of them.

It would constitute to having done my homework of preparing what to say so I would feel proud of myself for the next amount of time, I'm not supposed to talk to them. What I learned a secret from getting one from that stupid girl is if you totally break contact with the person and they have no knowledge of where you live now, then it becomes irrelevant to the court of extending the restraining order. I learned this from being lucky and not showing up at the court hearing. This may sound contradictory but it isn't; I wasn't lucky from not showing up at court with the first hearing because it was a dude who I really wanted to be stuck in a competitive boxing match with. I would knock him out really fast after cheating. Honestly, I wouldn't care about being held back!

This is all too common with angry women, but maybe an abused woman would get her way because of strong criminal evidence on the man.

Maybe Too Intense

I've actually been the king at writing messages while angry with people and then they just give up replying back with an angry message. I think deep down inside they want to think that I'm crazy, but have a hard time still with me.

What I think truly happened now is that they violated my own values and beliefs and really ticked me off to the point of flipping my handle. I was told that I consistently acted the same with these people and that I wouldn't stop being the same way with them. I've learned that doesn't mean I'm being crazy, but they tried other things to try to get the same result of getting me to stop and failed miserably! What the others did is technically the definition of being crazy. That's really nice to know now.

Headache From Laughter

Wow, the last couple posts had a 400% audience turnout from my average. It went from 2 readers to 8! 400% is a significant improvement. I'm starting to communicate a whole heck of a lot better and getting at a positive reaction from my buddies. I think I've had some good luck charm with some enemies, too. She might be so gay, literally! I think she's turning her side of thinking around or going the opposite orientation with liking men again. It's all because of my apathetic influence.

I'm actually laughing at my own humor so much from what I'm writing. I didn't know I could have this self-possessed and selfish humor to make myself gay with humility! I'm actually full-on into women by choice because I might be so dumb. Okay, there are some excellent women out there who could do some wonderful chores while the man could just lounge around on his sofa and watch some football. Another guy would probably chuck an empty can of beer from being angry at him, but the guy wouldn't do that to his pretty wife or girlfriend.

It's lovely that the most common thing for naturalism is a man and woman to be biologically attracted to one another. The real question that poses still a consideration for society is whether attraction to the same sex can be dealt with properly.

An Inconvenient Truth

I guess I get mad sometimes and very selfish because I just want to be a person who just has to let out some steam. I've learned even in my selfish moments how to channel the energy in a way to not get overly aggressive with friends and strangers I don't know. With people who have been giving me problems, I don't really feel the need to bother them. Of course, they are going to be complaining up a storm over silly stuff like not wanting to put me on Facebook and unblocking me again of all things. Oh my gosh!

I actually had a related restraining order from a stupid girl because of that. She looks like a twig and is so annoying! She was like do this and this or face her wraith of a restraining order! I didn't believe her so that was my funny mistake. I was really butt hurt for a long time, until I realized that she couldn't get it extended. The judge was like "Denied!" and panned his mallet in court. I wasn't there at the hearing of course, but that's how I imagine it. It was the maximum three year sentence. All I had to do was never make contact with her- fair enough, it was easy! I thought she was so lame and now I'm like messaging her again to put another one on me. She's been ignoring my messages these days and she's sort of looking like a loser in her own social circle.

She's like one of those thin girls who you want to say is hot but just isn't! Man, I can't believe a stupid girl like her got a Master's degree in clinical psychology of all things. She is so dumb and gosh, I don't even care if she wants to go for a restraining order that lasts a 100 years! I'm going to try my best to make fun of her and laugh and give it a performance that will be worth like 10 years all in front of the judge and the court audience, if she wants to go for another 3 years of a restraining order. She's like "I don't wanna talk about it" in her nagging voice! Well, she's going to have to talk about it in court or just be sitting there all angry while I give my five minute sermon about how she's a moron.

Might As Well Let Out My Problems

I read that the Asian culture, especially for a well-developed Asian country like South Korea, are now developing a suicidal mentality. That is pretty crazy because I thought it belonged only in Japan. The Japanese and Koreans haven't had too much of a loving history, where Japan was the aggressor thanks to the council of their Emperor trying to colonize a smaller and weaker country. Grrr, I feel it too! When the Koreans whoop the Japanese at sports like in the Olympics, it feels good and never gets old.

The Koreans have a history that pretty much sucked because they fought against each other and tried to have control of their smaller than average territory. Anyhow, how they have managed to fight back and now even have like an evil twin from the north, it's just amazing where it has led up too. I looked at the Korean Airlines on a map and it just skips right past North Korea and takes you to China that borders there.

I even saw this exciting show called the Deadliest Warrior, and they featured North Korea versus the U.S. Army Rangers. Being an American show, they gave a 2% edge to the Rangers and this was going to be a fight on the North Korean's turf. Looks like with their nuclear bombs, they might actually be somebody to be concerned about. They even had this blackmail thing going on with threatening to use nukes if they didn't get paid or any supplies. Anyhow, China responded by saying that the both countries are acting like silly brothers and should stop fighting one another.

Being Korean American, if I show up in South Korea I could be drafted into their army because I am of age. That's really nice to know!

Well, It's Friday Night

I'm actually just writing really fast, so I can focus at my job. I might as well just type anything to catch up as fast as I can, but it usually ends up with me creating a longer sentence like I am doing right now.

I'm probably just going to go with it and the flow. I just think it's really cool to have a routine going with this blog. Even though no one reads it or cares to comment on it, except for those people who put comments directing to their website, I'm cool with it man!

I think you really need to work a little to have some fun. It's great to reap the benefits of having fun, whether you are lucky to be born with it or not. I think when you have something people admire or desire for, then that's where the fun can begin.

Taking Better Care Of Myself

I'm starting feel so motivated about working out and eating right, but the hard part I still have is being consistent with it all. I think what distracts me is television! I just turn it on then even though I'm bored to death or feeling moody about my past with idiots, I flip through channels and then occasionally I want to peak at something naughty on there!

This isn't the right thing to do and I think the best way to get around this is to just make the commitment to stop and do the best one could to be like that. It's all of these aggressive feelings that go against your brain waves, but if you are loyal and brave enough to hack through all of it, then you deserve to be a successful person with a beautiful and loving spouse! Otherwise, you are just a plain loser with silly pride that does nothing but pump you up and sometimes, just become depressed. One of my buddies have asked the question, what if "God made me this way?" I finally have the answer; if one is feeling unhappy about something, then it wasn't really meant to be that way by God and the person put it on himself because he's responsible for his own thoughts and actions. Maybe his thoughts have been driving him crazy and he can't come to terms with it- this isn't really God's doing but the person's fault from not working at it and it's actually something that could be laughed about with humor.

Living With Getting Rich and Healthy In Mind

I'm actually starting to become very lenient with spending my money now. It's not really crossing my mind so much in giving to others as well. Maybe, it's just because I felt like I had a really hard time while in college from not having the money to do things that would be cool. I grew up in a working class family where my mom denied buying me some things I really wanted as a child. Pouting didn't work and then after my mom lectured me on it like an annoying person, it made me stop asking for things.

I basically suffered all those years with not having stuff to do and from having been through it, I'm actually glad that I had the experience and can make peace with it. Surely, I was selfish and know that others out there are the same as well. I have my limits even though my threshold of keeping things together is pretty high these days. One of the signs that I see for myself is that I don't use curse words in front of others! I think others no matter how much of a jerk they are being with me keep me at a level of stability.

I had some trouble with people in the past and I'm glad those experiences helped me shape up into the better person I am today.

Decision With Poker

I'm actually pretty tired with poker and don't like how I put myself in a better edge to win and then someone else gets lucky. It feels like I'm a kid getting my candy taken from by a bully! Some professionals can take the beating quite well and then adjust themselves into a genius where they become the bully and play games with others. I guess that's entertaining and I'll leave it to them to put on a show for me, but I think I'll just play poker when I'm in the mood for having a little gambling fun with some theory and skill I've been developing. I guess I'll be playing mainly to get lucky and to just to have fun for a decent purpose in life. It would only be when I'm in the mood to socialize with these folks.

So basically I'm not addicted to this game because when I lose, I play less! That's pretty good to know for me. I have a better outlet then gambling on poker when I feel the need to expend some of this energy. It's also something that fits my personality of wanting to not do much thinking now. I would like to place my focus and energy on things that are meaningful and what I'm truly passionate about developing in. I think that's going to be my main focus, so it seems like I'm never going to do drugs!

Having A Clear Mind

I think the worst thing a person could do to me is put a restraining order on me. Maybe in a freaky occasion, someone will be about torturing and then murdering me, but at least I'll feel closer to being in heaven for some reason. Having a restraining order isn't even really that bad now that I think of it; you just have to do what it says and you are good to go in life. You get to realize how much free you really are; a crazy drawback is that you aren't licensed to have firearms during that time for personal use, so might as well get into law enforcement or the military if you can work your way around it. Maybe you can still rent a gun at a gun range to practice and shoot in case the person who put it on you is trying to get your head cut off! You can even take up archery and go hunting with a air rifle maybe, or even do some javelin throwing but this is once you reach a legal age and have that fear someone is coming after you.

I've been told that I'm a smart person and most recently, a smart lover by my girlfriend. I'm happy to know that. I think I've been dealing with a few idiots because they are just plain weird from how they were brought up, but it's all good now and I'm not that frustrated with them anymore. I want to keep it that way in the future so the focus is really on me and not them, if they end up going insane because of it.

Really Taking It Easy

From having a little spending money, it's really easy for me to get carried away and then toss around my money. Overall, I guess it's really just about figuring out what works best for a person. For myself, I really do a lot of careful thinking with what makes me tick. I don't get into the mode of feeding my addictions. I feel like that's being a person with low class.

Having a buddy with a minor level of intelligence and from being completely open and honest with me, it's been great to have a second hand to tell me what's appealing and isn't. I'm sort of trying a different thing where I'm asking another person for advice on what's hip and isn't. It's just because I'm a pretty open person and a lot of things don't really get to me that easy.

I do have some temporary exchanges of personal emotions where I'll get a little mad about things, but other than that I'm not really all that into staying angry and will do my best to get those things taken cared for. I guess when it comes to people relations with those who are bad with me, it's not really about making the other person happy but more about keeping myself from getting too cranky! I, therefore, talk to them about how they can solve their issue with me and just be straight up with how I'm feeling about them; it's very important for me to not feel any hostility with them before I go after resolving something. I think that was a main worry for a few of my friends because they asked me to back off from them, knowing that I'm capable of worsening a situation.  

Reaching Goals But Impatient About It

It seems like all the hard work you put into it has been fine and dandy but when the opportunity feels creeping around the corner, it gets pretty hard to wait on it to happen while you are doing something. It's like losing focus because you are so interested in obtaining something that you forget for a little bit what you are trying to achieve. This happens to me quite a bit with a lot of things I'm trying to achieve. I guess I'm smart enough to keep a decent work ethic, but every once in awhile when I feel like reaching a milestone, I just choke!

It's like sometimes you need that luck of being successful to keep something going and to feel emotionally satisfied over it. It's like playing a game of poker dealing with money. You play more when you feel like a winner and play less when you lose and have no more money! I'm starting to realize the possibilities of achieving my goals from a basic level. It's like I'm creating my own foundation again to get there in life!

A Few Little Things To Feel Complete

I'm doing a lot of fast paced activity to feel satisfied with my life of being a swing shift-er. What I mean by that is I work the second shift until late at night- the most I've gone up to is 3 am. I also did graveyard shift, which was actually quite fun but it was difficult to get rest during the day time. I was so tired all the time and then how my time gets shifted around all of a sudden, it made me even more tired. I was even falling asleep while standing up at work!

Those days after I think of a year or two have now passed and I'm a lot better with maintaining the discipline to stay awake. It's quite funny because all it requires is just alerting your mind to stay awake. It's like inserting yourself forcefully with the alpha waves of your brain cycle. I imagine it to be like drinking cold water imaginatively. Whenever you are tired and you have an ice cold drink of water, it feels like you have to be momentarily awake. I taught myself to do this whenever I am tired and need to stay awake, but I keep on doing it whenever I feel tired every five minutes or however instantaneously I need it. It's saved me from crashing my vehicle while driving on the side of the curb!

Doing Little Things While Tired

I'm noticing that with my mind going off with doing things that don't really have that much significance, I am losing a lot of valuable time. It sounds depressing that I'm aware of this situation and with how other things that feel like invading my mind, it's so easy to flip out all of a sudden! Nonetheless, I think a girl can feel like this sometimes a whole lot more than for a guy. It must be the biological makeup of the brain chemicals with the two genders. It's still interesting though to read and view some relationships regarding a guy and girl. Well, a romantic comedy/drama can sell pretty well to the mass even if the actors aren't that good looking or popular!

Anyhow, back to my topic, I realize that it's easy for me to chain off to a completely new topic after introducing it with a sentence. I'm doing this through my writing now and it hasn't really been tested out with an audience. I think my writing ability has given me at the best consistent level of an A- grade. Of course, I want to do get an A+ all the time! I had one professor hang on to a work and he gave me an A+ for the research I did. I don't recall what I put on that paper. It was mainly just cut and paste and rewording the research I did while using a short term and focused memory. I didn't really get anything excess out of that- I think I just invented a nice approach as a routine and that particular paper just happened to catch the professor's interest. He kept the report and I deleted it from my computer files!

Just Random Posting

I am still trying to catch up as best as possible. I feel really fat right now because I am sort of sick with a cold and want to work out while taking good care of myself. I guess I have to let it run its course, but eventually I'm going to have this good routine down.

Since I have a girlfriend now, I want to limit my attentions to her more better than going off in my own world. I'm going to try to prioritize and take really good care of myself, so I could just be there for her when she needs me. It seems like everything has connected a little better in my life from having met a love.

Continuing To Strive

Last night was a not so busy day at work, but nonetheless I tried to stay focused at it. A quote I just read today says that the best way to have a fulfilled day is to have activities and to do all of your objectives well and completely. I'm starting to now realize the possibility of me manning up now with a girlfriend!

It's very fulfilling in a way to have someone to share a lovely and meaningful life with. I still need to make a few more additions along the way, but I think I'll make it there eventually. Today, I am called in to go to work a little earlier. I guess maybe there's not that much work or I might be a little more valued for the company because I work with another guy.

A Few Things I Could Continue To Fix

I realize that with my brain chemicals craving for some pleasure, it accounts for my private mischief. I do it so often behind closed doors and in the closet. I'm pretty much like that because I think there's a point to feel bad about it and not to let out to the whole world.

What I feel is that I think others are going to treat me like how I would treat them. The way I treat others is that I don't really pay attention to them that much. I also try to be condoning as much as possible too. Putting aside my angry considerations, I'm starting to focus more on making myself happy by going after solving those situations that just bug me.

I think it's just like lighting a candle or flipping on the switch. Sure, the world can become a place where I run out of breath and have to slow down, but I'm going on a journey and trying to improve myself better than I was before.

Have To Stay On Track

I'm starting to think that instead of writing and listing out my goals, I think the better practice would be to learn to think on my feet. I guess when it comes to managing appointments, if they get so much to handle then maybe I should buy an organizer to keep myself from getting lost keeping track of everything and to have a useful reference for an alibi in case I need it in a legal setting.

That being said I'm not really going to put down much on this blog with my personal, but I can very well say that I'm learning to manage it decently right now.

Day 246

I did a little searching on Google and noticed that today's day of the year is 246! That's pretty neat how someone already came up with that through generated software. I'm sure there's some formula as well to count the days, but I didn't feel like sitting there to figure that out. Anyhow, I'm still behind by about a month and a half to get up to date with all these blog posts.

I guess it's just a personal fun thing to do for myself. I still notice that I'm getting a very minimal amount of traffic on here. I guess it's really cool that one or two people find my writing interesting enough to look at wherever I'm at in my course of life. That's the only amount of verification I can track on this site, but the one that keeps track of visitors says that I'm getting more sometimes. It seems like there's a positive association with visitors in that the more interesting posts I make, the more readers I attract. I don't really get anybody to comment on my site, so I'm used to very quiet responses from others. These days I'm getting responses from people in person and I've actually learned to deal with it properly. I guess the only ones I'm probably not going to get too many responses from are the ones who are actually pretty weird!

Looks Nice to the Eyes

I think this blog might look beautiful with a bunch of just text and it's like so individualistic that you don't even have to read it. I guess in that respect it might seem a little weird that I'm getting a blog going just to post my thoughts and brag about how happy I am online!

One of my closest friends isn't that great of a reader. I'm not even that great of an avid reader either, but I don't know why I'm spending my days just writing on here online. I guess I'm just practicing with just being eloquent. Maybe, I'll be in a situation someday where I could genuinely care for people and try to solve a situation comfortably. I still have to work my way there though and maybe the issues I have right now just don't really matter right now.

Doing Everything Fast Paced

I realize that my personality likes to do things fast and have fun with it at the same. I'm having a pretty decent time with it these days. I guess I'm trying to stay on top of things without getting myself really hurt.

I don't really feel like writing much now, so I'm going to just leave it alone for now. This probably is the shortest two paragraphs that I am writing and leaving alone for the past couple months!

Careful Not To Show Off

Since I actually have a legit girlfriend now, I'm going to work out and try to get some six pack abs and take better care of myself. I want to manage my lifestyle a whole lot better and sort of develop this awesome persona with energy that just goes all into being with my future wife. I posted something related to this on my Facebook page and then I was met with some skepticism by another female friend! Another female friend was happy for me, though.

I need to be careful what I post because I don't want to end up swallowing my own words. I really hate doing that. I don't like losing my cool either and then making annoying comments about people in front of their faces. It makes me feel bad for doing that. They are some weak scoundrels but it's no excuse for my smart brain that can handle the stress and figure out a solution to the problem. As long as there's people involved and I have interacted with them, I can manage to find a way to resolve the issue for my own happiness. For some reason, it's based off of people feeling good about themselves too. I just can't live like being a moron to others; it doesn't click very well for me.

Getting On With It

I have like about ten minutes to spare. I'm realizing that the sound of my piano really sucks. I need to get it tuned or upgrade it to a better sounding instrument. I'm suffering because my parents tell me that the music is horrible. I played my song I wrote on a better sounding and well-tuned piano by myself. A group of my buddies came into the sound room and beckoned me to keep playing. I just kept playing like it was no big deal and then one of them ended up recording me on his phone. He showed it to almost everybody and for the most part, the majority of them were impressed and came up to tell me about it.

I think a well-tuned instrument sound plays a large role to putting on a good concert. If it's all cranky and sounds horrific and out of tune, there's just no well to go professional with that. You might as well just go for being broke. I think I'm going to try to invest my time with finding a good keyboard, even if it's expensive so I could find some space to deal with it. Eventually though, I want to become a proud owner of a grand piano and have fun playing all the good classics that I just become excited over.

Concentration Efforts

I did a little looking up to see if I had any ADD (attention deficit disorder). I remember a female friend of mine who is a little irritating and senseless telling me that I need to look up ADD. I wonder if she was commenting on how I might have that mental problem. Actually, now that I think of it; there's another crazy girl I was cool with in the beginning; she mentioned to me with having ADD. I never really thought that would turn into a factor, but I think because of it and how I went against her boyfriend, she's no longer interested in being friends with me.

I took the test and basically answered with "sometimes" as my answer of a few of them and otherwise, I put down "never". Like why would I lose focus if I'm having so much fun with my video games and making money? It doesn't make any sense at all. I sometimes lose focus when I'm dealing with boring stuff. I guess it's just disciplining myself as a requirement then to handle all of that stupid and boring stuff.

Exercising Discipline

I'm actually focusing on the big picture right now which is setting myself up for doing what I want to do for making a living. What I'm currently doing is so much fun and exciting and I truly enjoy it. I don't mind the setbacks that come with it that much too.

I'm going to try to limit the stuff that interests me and try to specialize on things that I want to stay consistent with and to earn a decent living with. I guess I'm pretty good on this goal of making money for myself. I'm now trying to dish in on a more healthy lifestyle.

Having Fun

So I downloaded this game called America's Army and it's pretty fun to play. It sort of gives a good idea on how to work as a team within a unit and do some tactics and strategies. I just go off and on and go for heroics in the game, which is a pretty bad idea to think of, but anyway it's still fun.

I sort of like how it gets me feeling in those simulated tight corners and an idea of how to approach it without knowing anything. I think it would be better for me to research on war tactics and then try to apply them later on. For now, I'm just trying to move alone with my career.

One More Before Breaking

Maybe, I'll be up on here at 1 am again. I don't know, but I doubt it. I might be enjoying my video games again even though I say I'm going to stop wasting my time with them. I'm a thirty-one year old still getting the fun buzz over playing games. Yeah, that's pretty old considering the audience I figure to be reading those posts.

I think being upfront like that is nice at my own personal expense because it gives a sense of non-hostile environment and something good to laugh about before reflecting on serious matters again, which people really have problems and issues over. I think my style is not meant to be really challenged aggressively or from a mean standpoint or else it will just make you feel weird to begin with.

That's probably why I'm not really stood up to that often. I actually think now that if I really put in the time and effort then I could have solved my problem with idiots back in the day. I can do it now, I suppose and I think I'll just keep my head up high with confidence.

Anything Now

I'm really taking a little bit of my time right now to write anything that's on my mind now. I'm pretty much locked in from having committed myself to put something on this blog. I think that's where the magic might happen for me. It's when I really decide to put forth a consistent effort then I'm able to experience the fruits of the labor and not really mind the hardships I went through in the past.

I have this initial start-up fear of doing stuff sometimes and get overwhelmed to try new things. I don't think I should really let them debilitate me. I think bravery for me is just being upfront about a lot of stuff. Not a lot of people try that hard, so standing out might be a pain because I don't want to work that hard too. I guess it comes down to knowing what you want and having pride over some things that actually count in life.

Doing Everything On My Own

Obviously, you can't hire someone to do the work outs for you so your body becomes ripped. Likewise, it seems to feel like that when it comes to investing. It's definitely better to know what you are doing and be the one to make the comfortable decisions and do what you want to be doing.

From doing my reading, there seems to be many reigning ideas and what works best for me is the lazy and clean method instead of trying to gun for profits on a daily basis with a Type A personality-like disorder. It becomes like another 8 to 5 job which isn't what I have in mind doing for the rest of my life, no matter how good the pay is. If it's fun, then maybe I'll consider but I don't the fun might turn old and stale for me after awhile. I want to be free to adventure and roam other places. This girl I hardly know on Facebook ended up using her savings to go travel and now she's back in college mode. She's pretty funny and I like to think that she's my type but frankly, she might not be that intelligent as I would have liked.

Anyhow, I post funny stuff on her posts that make me laugh a whole lot and then I have to focus on my job after while eliminating those distracting thoughts. It's pretty hard to do, but not unbearable for me. I'm still trying to maintain a long-standing composure while being very content in life which is something that I haven't been able to establish yet. I think my answer to those problems is to live through those struggles while depending on God for support.

Happy Labor's Day

I guess I have the sense like the rest of the people on the planet who live in America and work with a pretty, decent working brain to know today is Labor's Day. I don't feel anything special over it right now. What I do want to do, however, is work out and exercise discipline now.

For disciplining myself, I'm going to try to avoid some things. I really do want to earn a lot of money comfortably and that's where I'm currently working at. I also want to have a sexy body, despite being short and having some pimple scars! I've been told that I'm pretty good looking with glasses, so yeah, I think some people just get carried away with their agenda that they don't care about another person's looks for the time being.

Sirens Don't Bother Me Now

I think I managed to get it emotionally under control now in that I don't have to feel paranoid when I hear the paramedics approach my house. It was like this daunting reminder that I had to be scared for my life because the law was out to get me for my secret acts inside my own closet.

Hey, I think there's some privacy laws intact too, so I guess I don't want to even be in the negative spotlight and that could very well be the reason why I feel so paranoid about getting caught. I never really did think it was cool to do drugs, so I never did them illegally. I don't see the point of relying on a dead plant to give you a high after lighting it up.

Where I get my high is from looking at things visually and after being tempted, I have this strong Christian belief of waiting to be married, so yeah, I never hit any home runs despite being given those offerings about five times now in my entire life. Maybe, they weren't hot enough for me; I don't know, I seem to find flaws even in the most beautiful person on the Earth, like ummmm, Cindy Crawford. She's a pretty old mom, despite having flawless looking skin.

Interesting Time To Post

I'm posting like at 1:30 in the morning. Well, it's Labor's Day so I guess it's okay to be up this late doing nothing! I'm finding that people don't really appreciate jokes that much as they do with people who are just associated with success or beauty. I guess those are the qualities that attract people more than just being funny and interestingly different.

I was told by a buddy of mine that I don't really follow the pack too often and it's true, I don't. Seriously, now I'm taking the approach of solving the problem and not anything else. Oh yeah, I need to wash my car. Man, I'm getting so ignorant because my mind is feeling so stoic now. It's like I don't really have that much emotional attachment to things anymore that I could really do something boring for the rest of my life, like working at a company that makes me the big bucks!

I still get a emotional buzz from communicating with my girlfriend right now. Yeah, I think I can say for reals that I do have a girlfriend or another significant other. We're dealing with a distant relationship right now but we do communicate via writing. Go figure, a man who used to have some anger issues, told me that my writing sucks and it's going to get me nowhere in life and that I should stop it. I think he was approaching it from the wrong angle. He was just mad because he wasn't able to control me and he felt that he was so right. Without the need of tackling him to the floor and screaming at his face and then apologizing and then repeating the process over again repetitively, I think the solution is to really reveal where he's being faulty and laugh about it underneath while showing some genuine sympathy of how he's going through a hard time and just be upfront about things.

With This Whole Posting

Last year I think it was, I ended up posting around 100 of these in a two month span and probably averaged 20 in one day! I don't really want to repeat that again, so I am definitely going to try to do the five a day approach. Like having five fruits and vegetables a day and getting at least 5 minutes of sleep a day in for the rest of my own entire existence! That's easy said and done for me- I still remember this one female friend whose now engaged to a pretty chubby guy commenting on how she feels weird from having insomnia.

She is ultra skinny by the way so I guess there's a saying that opposites might attract. Hey, I went out on a few unofficial dates with her over a few months so she thought it would be a good thing to go after me in a relationship. I was so clueless to how attractive she really is- she's just not really my type I guess. She just doesn't have that one giving attitude where I look for the most, and I'm sure other guys might be able to relate to it.

Catching Up

I'm going to try to post like five a day now. I'm just going to randomly post anything that's on my mind to try to catch up. I remember for the past couple years, I've been putting it off the last minute and I don't find that to be very comfortable for me now. I guess I felt like I had to prove something by doing other meaningless stuff before putting my time into getting the important parts done. Man, I was stupid!

Some days, it's really nice to post photos on this site and write stuff pertaining to the visual while trying to make good, clean jokes at the same time. I am definitely a real person blogging on this site with a personality that sort of likes to be a goody-two-shoe and out of trouble. I am a dude who prefers not to spat out curse words and think negatively towards others, no matter what jam I'm going through.

The trick has to have a positive association of being realistic and imagining resolving solutions. The focus is really not on how bad the person is because that's just a waste of time and puts you in a more, angrier predicament. It's really about fixing the problem while focusing on it with the imagination and having a strong spirit over it. It's like living through adversity and making proper adjustments.

I Want To Get A Six Pac

Nowadays, I figure that if I'm going to end up with a killer body, there's two ways to go about it: get surgery or do it the traditional hard way through proper nutrition and diet, exercise, and rest. I wouldn't feel right about getting surgery because I might still be carrying some unhealthy habits afterwards. The traditional way seems to be the best because of the discipline that it requires and how that could carry over with other intense activities.

I'm starting to think that maybe there is a way around a lot of my issues. One of my reasons for wanting to get a 6-PAC on my abs, not a six-pack of beer, is that it looks like I finally have a legitimate girlfriend! She's about four inches taller than me- so I'm going to try to stretch out my bones a little more and see if I could tone that down to just two inches.

Hey, if a short guy like me could do it then not everybody can do it because I sort of have an intelligent mind. I think intelligence mixed with a little bit of charismatic strength while any size will do the trick. There was this one actor who stood only three feet tall and he's married to a beautiful woman! Man, that's really standing up to the plate and getting it done.

Okay, so height doesn't matter and it feels that way only if I'm in a happy mood. I have some buddies making fun of my height which is hilarious. It's all good, and I don't really care now. I think some people still have like a short height phobia or just feel weird about being in a relationship with one because it's just plain different and others might give off this influence of how you have to follow the pack. For some reason, tallness does have this innate sense of attractiveness and emotional sense of security. What it really comes down to in the long run is really the quality of the person's heart, not their sensual body parts!

Behind Schedule

It looks like I'm spending so much way less time on this blog now. I guess I'm a lot better equipped at being an upfront person. Actually, it doesn't really matter how I go about it, as long as I'm a happy and positive person, I can manage almost anything with people. I'm going to try to keep that upbeat heart wherever I go in life now.

Basically, I used to think how some people were just making me angry from having a bad personality. Now, I don't even think that way about them. The way I see it is that it's really about managing my own personal feelings and then resolving the problem by looking at taking care of it.