Repenting From Bad Urges

A saying goes the mind is a terrible thing to waste. I totally agree because sometimes if things get out of hand, others could not really use their head and rely more on their emotions and do something bad. I think it's just important to sometimes keep yourself busy and allow time to show what really went wrong. It's also important to educate the mind and to be a very hard worker and to face yourself by being completely honest about your desires. These desires can be met, but it's important to have a relationship with Jesus. What does Jesus truly want for us? I don't think the Bible intends to tell us that it's okay for us to be selfish.

Sometimes, you just have to think about the feelings of others. I am starting to realize that it's not all about centering a focus on one individual at a time. Life can move into a greater direction by not worrying so much about insignificant things. I think respecting the personal space of others is really easy, even if confusion takes place and you are not really getting what you want out of them. I should have just clearly expressed all my desires while not being afraid of myself doing harm to others. Moving on will not be that hard for me anymore. I totally have faith that God can provide all my desires and that I should have patience and align my flesh in a path of discipline to avoid myself from falling into sexual sins. I believe that it's naturally for us to have sexual urges and that God intended for us to live them out in marriage presuming that God intended a man and a woman to marry to be faithful to each other.

Winners and Losers

Today, I'm starting to realize that so many chances are still available as part of my right and that I don't need to really be listening to the opinions of the others if I feel that mine is way better. I am starting to understand myself a lot better and am really learning to face myself. I feel comfortable and yet just a little pushed over. I am starting to see that I have always naturally been good at focusing on the attention of others being mad at me over something silly. I guess I am not supposed to really mind or feel bothered by it. There's finally something for me to just appreciate.

What I Am Thinking

I am just writing this blog for myself. I am pretty much adding in stuff that would be helpful for myself. I think when people give me advice, some of it can be laughable already. I guess I have not been wanting to comprehensively face myself, but now that I am doing it, I don't really have that much I am apprehensive over anymore. I know that I am ignorant to many things. Proving things wrong have never been so much easier when things are forced upon you, and you are just trying to communicate your thoughts with reason to a bad crowd. It's just growing through adversity with people who you want to be mad at but want to just focus on being a good person, always.

It's best to just face yourself and be completely natural about something. As long as you are following the guidelines within how the Bible was originally intended for everyone, which means you have to study the Scriptures and meditate upon it daily, and then use it to live your life in accordance to how you and God desire things, it should be okay to react to hostile situations in prayer first.

Fun Day At The LA County Fair

Today, I went to the LA County fair with a very close friend. The admission fee was only like $1. Yes, seriously. Everybody was like, no way, what the heck? My parents also felt like going when I informed them that it was only until this weekend. It was really hot at this time of the year and I do not really feel like going again until at least the weather cools down.

We just walked around and saw some animals and went to visit some stores. I signed up to enter a few drawings to go on a cruise and to Hawaii. The guy who was working asked if I had a girlfriend. I sort of skirted around with the answer. I'm not going to really mention anything more about her at this time.

The drinks and games also became a dollar after 4 P.M. It was cool because I got to win some prizes. It wasn't that big, but it's okay I guess. I had fun playing and also chipping in some money for my buddy who also won a prize. He wanted to trade an item I won for a smaller item that he had. Pretty funny sarcasm. I picked up two stuffed animals- a horse with a piggy-like face and a small fish that looked like Nemo.

Managing Some Anger

I normally don't like to project my emotions in a negative manner. However, I was doing this a lot and I should have just said whatever I wanted to say. I thought by avoiding my angry comments for a long time that they would finally come to their senses. I sort of tried to do it by hiding out with all the e-mails and that no judge or person under oath even when they are so angry for whatever reason could say that my statements were violent.

I don't think the things I said were wrong, but only trying to be an educational person with an intent of becoming a better writer. At least I have a constellation prize with all the madness that has happened for me. I can write a little better and not worry as much in expressing myself fully around friends and literally listening to them in conversation. Sorting out problems or things I don't like with another person is always going to be hectic. I think I realize that people are going to be a little more open with me because of my demeanor, so I have not really lost that much alienation or loneliness. The only reason why I get it is because they are acting so crazy and only a few people seem like this in my life. Overall, just interacting with a good heart even while you are mad about something underneath is pretty fun, and you can expect some handshakes and hugs as a result.

Personal predictions

I predict that in three years a lot of things are going to happen for me. I am starting to realize my potential from having learned to grow up. I have been stuck on a lot of inconsequential things which have just been wasting my time. I think I have to learn to balance myself from these dumb incidences that have occurred for me. I just need to not worry about things that cannot be under my control anymore. The good Lord will seriously do amazing things in my life and is completely protective of me when I'm speculating a lot of pain and distress for myself.

I personally like to humor myself without offending others too much, even though maybe a few would not want to see it my well and really make me become quiet. Maybe I should do some really cool stuff and focus. There really is not much time left for me to just feel like I want to do things and then not see it happen. Life is sometimes painful in that regard for me. I just don't like to accept some things. It's just part of my personality. I am a gamer pretty much.

Today, I'm just chilling with a friend. I totally need to up my tempo with studying. I managed to read five books already in just under five days. That's one book per day while spending about four hours each on average. These books are on computers and are a pretty fast read for me. I guess making a profession out of computing won't be that bad for me after all. I am really motivated to continue pursuing in this direction of becoming a certified tech junkie with a huge company. I think it will open plenty of doors for me.

I am still offended with certain things that happened to me, like we all can be in certain times of our life. It's normal to be human. I just have not spoken up in those incidences where I was offended because I just wanted to try to listen to some distressed individuals' insane requests, even though I would not be able to function by doing them.

Just Writing

I'm starting to figure that it's okay to be uncomfortable about some things in life. You just have to keep moving along and hopefully, the pressure will eventually release itself. It's so difficult to break out of bad habits too. I myself am contending with my old nature daily. I think it's incredible to walk to the other side for better goodness, instead of continuously doing things to hurt yourself. You can't do this on your own. You need spiritual comfort to be able to fully overcome this obstacle and to never look back again. That's where Christ can fit in anyone's picture.

Today, life is good. I think that I have a lot of good people in my life. Sometimes, it's hard to reflect on what life is all about. I guess when you are so deep down nervous inside and then you feel like people are starting to harass you, it's a really hard thing to stay calm inside. Hmm, no wonder they think you would need to get some professional help. They pretty much would rather focus on providing very bad advice.

I also realize that you don't have all the time in the world. You need to prioritize. Some people are about money. I don't think these people are really doing something that's all that great. Some people are all about themselves. I don't think being selfish and closed off from the world gives you a meaningful life. I think just spending even at least 5 minutes a day on something, could equate to a year. The power of consistency in the time you give into something is so vital and should be a discipline.

Just imagine sleeping in about 8 hours. That only leaves 16 hours to get your stuff in. People who are overly invested could spend like 12 hours on something. That only leaves like 4 hours to do stuff. Hmm, being overly patient and super-slow could be a burden in some cases. It's best to have great concentration and focus. Having some truly close friends to spend time with is very meaningful and vital.

Today, I'm starting to realize that having personal complaints about insignificant things is not really going to take you anywhere. It's best to take heart about any area of discomfort and to live with what you think would be great to go your way. It's probably best not to really involve yourself with some people in certain areas of your life.

The heart is a wicked and deceitful thing. Yes, I know how bad of a person I can be and how my sins are really evil and make me fall apart. I want to continuously remind myself that it's about relying on God for all my needs and that I cannot do it on my own. Sure, I have desires just like anybody else. I want to make myself grow taller, still. Yeesh! I want to make some muscles and get some money to live pretty comfortably. Having these things in possession is still not enough to get the perfect girl. The perfect girl just loves you for who you are. Just by giving effort, sometimes you just can't expect it to go your way. You just have to learn to let some things go.

It's all thanks to Jesus that I want to give it all I have to be in a loving sensitive manner, even when I'm really frustrated at someone I know and just want to say things all over the place.

Today, I'm just in the mood for reading another book for studying about computers. I have been failing to manage my time properly. I have played this Star Wars game for a long time.

Over the last couple months, I totally understand what my problem was and that there's nothing I could do about it to change how others want to think about me. However, I'm feeling really angry inside and want to do something about it. I just want to give a full expression of myself to state what I need to say. I totally believe in expressing love in a sensitive manner, even while I'm in this pain. I just totally want to get rid of it right now. I need to be extremely patient right now because people can misunderstand you, no matter how much they say they know you.

Yesterday, I went to the library to study. It's a really cool building and although a lot of grown-ups find it boring to be at just a library, I find it to be a pretty remarkable place. They have some romantic settings over there and a fun area where these statues resembling seals shoot out water at any youngsters who dare challenge its crossfires. The building complex has a lot of really visually cool things made out of computers. They even have this aquarium that features a bambino shark- I recognize the species from having touched it at a feeding pool in a large aquarium. At the top floor, they call it the skyline floor and out of curiosity, the floor was made open to the public. I decided to check it out, as they were playing the original Neverending Story. Not bad to encourage youngsters to read a boook and share a part of the authors' imaginations.

I finally learned to bowl yesterday too at about 18 MPH top speed with a 14 pound ball. It makes a loud popping noise with the pins and something I could feel proud about. I basically did it by mimicking this really huge old-timer's form which just kept on getting strikes.

Man, I'm just so brought low today again. I need to basically repent and focus on something. I have a job that I am trying to apply for right now. I have been waiting for about a month already for this job position, but have not received any calls or mail yet.

I want to work really hard in this world and never give in to anything bad. The problem starts with the person first and then migrates to the situation. I'm going to make a promise to God. I will be the very best that I can be no matter how much I suffer for doing it. I'm pretty good at studying, I should not really have any problems in expressing myself. This is a really hard situation laid out on me.

Sometimes things in life are out there to basically frustrate you. These moments are very difficult to deal with. The Bible says to abide in the father and to love God to the fullest expectations of the Scriptures. I'm working on something that deals specifically with people. I have not done anything wrong, but the people who are against me do not see the wrong that they have done. I guess this is a very typical thing for them to do. In my fullness of anger, I do not want to express myself by writing to them. I don't even want to remotely have anything related to them. I guess it's about not doing anything bad no matter what.

There are some things that I want to reveal to the world. I'm not going to reveal the bad parts of myself to keep that a secret. I know what they are and I am going to work on preventing them so that I don't have to face the bad music anymore, if I ever get in that situation. I am a really sensitive type person who really cares about not offending others. Through this, I'm hoping to get a reasonable truce with everyone in this world. This does not deal with any religious experiences. It's just who I am.

The good parts about me is that I know how to study hard. I know how to be patient under feeling a lot of pressure. I can feel depressed but still have the will to fight on no matter what happens to me. I really hate feeling angry and feeling pain underneath all the time. It's an addiction for me to do something to cope with it, by attacking the problem. The problem I have right now is with some people. It is really frustrating that they don't want to side with my conclusions. Almost everybody has the will to laugh when I put this, the main problem I have right now is with my little sister who just graduated college. She's such a pain and does not want to do things with me or agree with me. It is just so frustrating. She thinks I have an infatuation problem with her...err, that makes me feel really mad that she would comment on me like that. There are so many beautiful people out there...why would I want to lay my eyes on her like that? I still imagine the little ugly girl in her who she was while growing up. I seriously hate the idea of having to yell at my little sister when she constantly talks to me with an attitude problem. All this anger that's running through me makes me want to distance myself from her!

Let's see if this pushes anything. Jean, my sister, does not want to put me on Facebook. She says that she does not care that I called her selfish and that she admits to not wanting to get along with me. She says that I am a very bad brother and that she would press charges if I wrote this about her on my blog.

I don't really care about this post. I'm just trying to see something. I'll take this post off.

Sometimes, the inevitable has to happen no matter how nervous one can get. When this occurs, I think the wise man needs to play a huge role in what he wants to obtain. A lot of perceptions go around all the time and sometimes even with the slightest fluctuations of how a person acts, it can be so misinterpreted.

I think there are some crazy people around me right now, but I'm not going to mention who. I would rather treat them with a good remedy in person.

Life is not really as it is if people start giving you a hard time and you backfire on them with something nonviolent. That's really hard to deal with. There are sometimes breaks in a relationship that occur no matter how hard you try to avoid it. Suffering can still take place in this area. It's all about learning to let go through a forgiving attitude and be willing to accept the truth through the ears of others first before implanting them with your own opinions.

I've had situations where I would get really short-fused with others and filled with adrenaline because I seriously did no harm to them. I would then avoid them for long periods of time.

Sometimes in life, you just need to learn to let go. This is what I want to do. I want to just move on with my life now. I don't need to justify anything I have done. I just want to be still this time around.