I think about 50% of the time my mind wants to keep on backtracking about the same thoughts. It gets pretty annoying to think about, especially from remembering what happened and having it make me feel so angry. I internalize all this fury a lot and walk around in public while people I know are like "What's up?" I say hi to them back and smile, while I'm fuming underneath and not showing how I want to blow things up from my past! I wish people could regenerate into nice people, but only if it was so true. It would be like playing a first-person shooter in real life for escapism then continuously, but yeah, that would get annoying too after all because of the lack of stability. I think the way God created this world is well-meaning and fair.
From having faith in Jesus, I'm starting to not feel so panicky about everything that doesn't go my way. I feel like I'm able to better maintain my own emotions and stay calm through a lot of situations. Thinking about a lot of things do make me really mad but when it comes time to putting myself in that position, I'm finding myself not regretting it from going after honesty! Honesty makes it so simple along with hard work, being law-abiding, and using all the intelligence in the world I could at that point and giving it my all to get what I want!
From having confidence, there's no need to stay mad and plan stuff before hand because it's a waste of time from it being such a little thing. I'll just leave it to developing myself for thinking on the spot and go after cooler priorities that I want to work on. Basically the dumb people from the past were mad with the little stuff about me and I was mad that they were being crazy but now it seems like what they did wasn't significant and would be so embarrassing for revealing to others so they have tried to force me to not talk about it. Their attempts are futile because it really all lies on my choice to be merciful to them or unleash a whole lot of jokes about them if I want to. They have trouble moving on because of me and are pretty much going to walk away from it because of me becoming such a force of nature!
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
Tuesday, December 4, 2018
Monday, December 3, 2018
Communicating Well
From being openly myself and trying to portray things that are really cool and sharing them in hopes of just expressing myself and getting away with it constantly, a few ladies are like interested with what I'm doing. It's just a natural thing to have the opposite sex interested in me. It really doesn't matter because they are only taken already. Only? Yes, because I'm still trying to find someone attractive to marry!
When I look at appearances of girls I'm really close to, I just don't really care how they look and appreciate it when I feel how cute or sexy they are at that moment and that's it because we're only friends. I don't have issues of maintaining self-control so this is probably why their parents love me, I guess. It's cool to be chill and put yourself out there and even though, a friend who I think I'm matched well up with is taken and gets mad when I decline sometimes doing something with her, I really don't know how to put it. It's like I've been through this several times and I'm so chill about it- all of it!
Girls are communicative creatures, so opening up with them by being yourself just makes it so easy! It's like if you have a great personality, then you should be extremely and highly open about yourself; whereas, if you are a scumbag then don't say anything at all! It's these opposites that make sense in life and people should stay away from all the quiet scumbags in this world but they always can't and end up marrying them! I'm so chill about it.
I'm so chill that I feel really chill and not that much with the friend I'm well matched up with because she's already taken. I laughed while telling another lady that it's a little sad. She took it seriously and felt like crying a little bit, I guess. On the other hand, she told me a matchmaker was finding a good girl for me. Hey, I can take up on that offer!
When I look at appearances of girls I'm really close to, I just don't really care how they look and appreciate it when I feel how cute or sexy they are at that moment and that's it because we're only friends. I don't have issues of maintaining self-control so this is probably why their parents love me, I guess. It's cool to be chill and put yourself out there and even though, a friend who I think I'm matched well up with is taken and gets mad when I decline sometimes doing something with her, I really don't know how to put it. It's like I've been through this several times and I'm so chill about it- all of it!
Girls are communicative creatures, so opening up with them by being yourself just makes it so easy! It's like if you have a great personality, then you should be extremely and highly open about yourself; whereas, if you are a scumbag then don't say anything at all! It's these opposites that make sense in life and people should stay away from all the quiet scumbags in this world but they always can't and end up marrying them! I'm so chill about it.
I'm so chill that I feel really chill and not that much with the friend I'm well matched up with because she's already taken. I laughed while telling another lady that it's a little sad. She took it seriously and felt like crying a little bit, I guess. On the other hand, she told me a matchmaker was finding a good girl for me. Hey, I can take up on that offer!
Reaping Cool Feelings
What I think is so fun about this blog is slowly seeing my read count go up on my posts without any effort on my end. I don't need to go around constantly clicking anymore to make it look like people are reading this site. I'm just pretty nonchalant about it and just grateful for anybody who came on here to read something on here. Even if the responses would be not so positive, I know I won't be hearing from them about it because technically, they'll be thinking I'm just openly venting about them so why waste my smart negative energy on them which could potentially hold them back after all the hard work they put in to build a reputation.
One of the great things about being open about yourself and going after improvement is that things actually start making sense, and it looks like the worst things that bother you go away. It was annoying to look at cops driving past me at the place I work or even driving back home, but I hardly see them around. I think my blog had something to do with paranoid people trying to file complaints on me or something. I really don't care anymore so that's probably why I don't see cops in my head even though they could still be there.
Having a decent sense of humor is like going out for a cup of tea with the person who you are mad at. It's like yesterday I read that a really scared Queen Elizabeth I had her cousin who was Queen of Scotland executed for blaming an assassination attempt on her. This loosely reminds me of a stupid co-worker back in the day who blamed me for attempting character assassination on him and threatening to sue me. He ended up attacking me in the bathroom and mentioning how sensitive he was. He tried to throw a punch and I ended up hurting his arms from blocking them with my body weight. He just walked away quietly from me after and was like he wasn't going anywhere with me when I asked him, let's go out somewhere. Yes, I am a guy who is capable of hurting angry men's arms. These dumb guys were under a temporary state of psychosis; it is so annoying to deal with from having to be a guy. I wish they would just be happy even when they are so angry and feeling selfish about anything.
One of the great things about being open about yourself and going after improvement is that things actually start making sense, and it looks like the worst things that bother you go away. It was annoying to look at cops driving past me at the place I work or even driving back home, but I hardly see them around. I think my blog had something to do with paranoid people trying to file complaints on me or something. I really don't care anymore so that's probably why I don't see cops in my head even though they could still be there.
Having a decent sense of humor is like going out for a cup of tea with the person who you are mad at. It's like yesterday I read that a really scared Queen Elizabeth I had her cousin who was Queen of Scotland executed for blaming an assassination attempt on her. This loosely reminds me of a stupid co-worker back in the day who blamed me for attempting character assassination on him and threatening to sue me. He ended up attacking me in the bathroom and mentioning how sensitive he was. He tried to throw a punch and I ended up hurting his arms from blocking them with my body weight. He just walked away quietly from me after and was like he wasn't going anywhere with me when I asked him, let's go out somewhere. Yes, I am a guy who is capable of hurting angry men's arms. These dumb guys were under a temporary state of psychosis; it is so annoying to deal with from having to be a guy. I wish they would just be happy even when they are so angry and feeling selfish about anything.
Friday, November 30, 2018
What Can Be Fun
While driving to work this morning, I found out that I have some impulsive thoughts while being all by myself. I'm totally all about driving while on auto-pilot and thinking about things or listening to a morning sermon from an excited pastor who has been doing it for over thirty years now! You just look at the road ahead of you and stare at other drivers for fun as an excuse while checking the mirrors for safety occasionally and then react to avoid hazards naturally. It's all based on how aware you are and in the beginning, I was so paranoid about not getting into any accidents. I made some blunders and got lucky that I never hurt anybody while I was a nervous wreck. I'm still considered a great driver, so I have premium insurance even though they hate on me while seeing me as high risk taker because I drive a convertible and I'm still single.
It's crazy in that it's about honesty out of trying to do the right thing and how it's actually paid off well when I was doing it. When I didn't do this and held back out of being afraid, it only made the situation worse for me. There's more to just being blunt while being so angry with people- it totally hurts their feelings and will shut them up while the person who is acting this way gets to laugh so hard; well, this is my case but I don't know how it goes for others. What about also having love and trying to do the right thing?
I'm talking about controlling everything that goes on as registering with being funny and not really laughing so hard about it. I mean it's about containing it inward- it feels really good right? This can actually be so fun to do while being bored and lonely. I'm still growing bald and my dad thinks I'm stressing out while looking at me holding in all that laughter usually. I feel great though and body feels so relaxed- I think it's hereditary and my dad thinks it's odd that I'm getting bald even though he's bald himself. My dad is just a weird guy and excuses stuff he hates as being weird or gets a short fuse about it and smokes in an unhealthy fashion. He's going to die and I figure I can't reach my dad anymore and someone else has to, but when he gets really sick around the next ten to twenty years, I believe my dad is going to think it's weird too and bug my mom about it!
In a way, containing thoughts that make us go impulsive is actually fun. I should mention this to the people who went crazy with me over the little stuff! It's also unusually healthy with helping one to bring things together and pay attention to the good stuff that's being discussed or to even explore other areas of interest.
It's crazy in that it's about honesty out of trying to do the right thing and how it's actually paid off well when I was doing it. When I didn't do this and held back out of being afraid, it only made the situation worse for me. There's more to just being blunt while being so angry with people- it totally hurts their feelings and will shut them up while the person who is acting this way gets to laugh so hard; well, this is my case but I don't know how it goes for others. What about also having love and trying to do the right thing?
I'm talking about controlling everything that goes on as registering with being funny and not really laughing so hard about it. I mean it's about containing it inward- it feels really good right? This can actually be so fun to do while being bored and lonely. I'm still growing bald and my dad thinks I'm stressing out while looking at me holding in all that laughter usually. I feel great though and body feels so relaxed- I think it's hereditary and my dad thinks it's odd that I'm getting bald even though he's bald himself. My dad is just a weird guy and excuses stuff he hates as being weird or gets a short fuse about it and smokes in an unhealthy fashion. He's going to die and I figure I can't reach my dad anymore and someone else has to, but when he gets really sick around the next ten to twenty years, I believe my dad is going to think it's weird too and bug my mom about it!
In a way, containing thoughts that make us go impulsive is actually fun. I should mention this to the people who went crazy with me over the little stuff! It's also unusually healthy with helping one to bring things together and pay attention to the good stuff that's being discussed or to even explore other areas of interest.
Thursday, November 29, 2018
Getting So Old
Thinking about the same thing over and over again on repeat gets very tiresome after awhile and it's like if a person was so mad about things that happened and kept on thinking about it, it just feels like it doesn't matter anymore. This is the point I'm at now over the little things I was so angry and paranoid over. I just don't really care anymore and ready to get a move on with my current situation in life.
It's quite possible though that bringing up the topic directly with related people who were a pain about it is going to strike some of their nerves and give them a hard time and cause them to become impulsively angry! It's really funny to notice this now, and the only thing that made it turn into a lost cause in my opinion is because of my failure to notice this was going on and also never really saying the whole truth about it. It really sucks to be shy for purposes of trying to stay nice and angry at the same time. It's all of this pent-up energy that was built up from frustration and imagine how it's going to seem so crazy to those annoying foolish people who are so unsuspecting of what they did and claiming they did absolutely nothing to the person and having nothing against him or her.
From being so honest and trying to be smart about it, I can argue from experience that it would force one being that way to be very expressive and think intelligently without just running the mouth and yelling like a cantankerous nincompoop over a trivial issue another person is feeling sensitive about and wants to address while still being friends. Out of my experience, with me stating all of these things, it gets the other person I was upset at to just stay quiet with me and keep on smiling about it.
I guess my intentions now is that I really don't care they were being crazy with me over nothing serious. I still have my life and the things they said would happen never really came to pass. They were just really mad about stuff and having a hard time thinking through it from being so selfishly impulsive and having trouble managing their frustrations while staying friendly about it. I mean I can try to understand and just not really be affected by all of it and be equally selfish while remaining a calm person. I really want recognition from these types of people because it gives me a sense that I conquered some type of puzzle dealing with others, and it's a step closer to achieving heaven with personal relationships that really matter in the end.
It's quite possible though that bringing up the topic directly with related people who were a pain about it is going to strike some of their nerves and give them a hard time and cause them to become impulsively angry! It's really funny to notice this now, and the only thing that made it turn into a lost cause in my opinion is because of my failure to notice this was going on and also never really saying the whole truth about it. It really sucks to be shy for purposes of trying to stay nice and angry at the same time. It's all of this pent-up energy that was built up from frustration and imagine how it's going to seem so crazy to those annoying foolish people who are so unsuspecting of what they did and claiming they did absolutely nothing to the person and having nothing against him or her.
From being so honest and trying to be smart about it, I can argue from experience that it would force one being that way to be very expressive and think intelligently without just running the mouth and yelling like a cantankerous nincompoop over a trivial issue another person is feeling sensitive about and wants to address while still being friends. Out of my experience, with me stating all of these things, it gets the other person I was upset at to just stay quiet with me and keep on smiling about it.
I guess my intentions now is that I really don't care they were being crazy with me over nothing serious. I still have my life and the things they said would happen never really came to pass. They were just really mad about stuff and having a hard time thinking through it from being so selfishly impulsive and having trouble managing their frustrations while staying friendly about it. I mean I can try to understand and just not really be affected by all of it and be equally selfish while remaining a calm person. I really want recognition from these types of people because it gives me a sense that I conquered some type of puzzle dealing with others, and it's a step closer to achieving heaven with personal relationships that really matter in the end.
Wednesday, November 28, 2018
Making Choices Based On Faith
I seriously believe in Jesus being my Lord and savior all by faith. I believe that he resurrected based on reading the Bible and even though I don't get scientifically how Mary could conceive Jesus through only God and no earthly father, I accept it based on only faith. It's through having faith in Jesus that I want to be loving towards people I'm still mad at because they were so annoying to me in the past.
The Bible says in 1 John 1:8 that for anyone to say he or she is without any sin is a liar. This means that we all live in a fallen world and even other Christians at Hope of God Church in Los Angeles right off of Caesar Chavez Blvd who acted like a bunch of lame morons with me at a stupid church I had selfish reasons over wanting to still attend can't be perfect in their faith either. It's that old beaten up and small church right off the freeway that was used as a wedding chapel in the past when it used to look so cute! I loved going to that church because I loved the feeling of fellowship with a small group of believers. However, they turned crazy on me and had all these anger issues over stuff I don't really concern myself over. I don't agree with all of their doctrine either and allowing for a female pastor. Yeah, that's taking it too far especially when the Apostle Paul said in 1 Tim 2:12, "I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. "
Another cool church I have associated with before even allowed for a female associate pastor and a girl I think has a very cute personality now kept on calling her pastor and giving her all this respect and adoration like that lady pastor is her leader. Okay, I think that's cool in a sense.
Anyhow, I had trouble speaking up and this is what's required for me now based on Scriptures. The Bible points out that when a person is trying to sue you, you should try to resolve it before it gets too out of hand. This is what the lady leader Lee who acted like an appointed pastor ignored with me at Hope of God Church. You just can't assume every Christian will know the Bible like a regular Christian should know, based on what the Bible says.
Anyway what's nice is finally moving on and choosing to be overflowing with grace, love, and mercy with those idiot Christians I was angry at for a long period of time. I'm still mad at them but I'm trying to overlook it on a daily basis now. If I can't, I'm just going to be making fun of them and laughing my butt off, but yeah I should add in some loving effect just because of my faith in Jesus.
The Bible says in 1 John 1:8 that for anyone to say he or she is without any sin is a liar. This means that we all live in a fallen world and even other Christians at Hope of God Church in Los Angeles right off of Caesar Chavez Blvd who acted like a bunch of lame morons with me at a stupid church I had selfish reasons over wanting to still attend can't be perfect in their faith either. It's that old beaten up and small church right off the freeway that was used as a wedding chapel in the past when it used to look so cute! I loved going to that church because I loved the feeling of fellowship with a small group of believers. However, they turned crazy on me and had all these anger issues over stuff I don't really concern myself over. I don't agree with all of their doctrine either and allowing for a female pastor. Yeah, that's taking it too far especially when the Apostle Paul said in 1 Tim 2:12, "I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. "
Another cool church I have associated with before even allowed for a female associate pastor and a girl I think has a very cute personality now kept on calling her pastor and giving her all this respect and adoration like that lady pastor is her leader. Okay, I think that's cool in a sense.
Anyhow, I had trouble speaking up and this is what's required for me now based on Scriptures. The Bible points out that when a person is trying to sue you, you should try to resolve it before it gets too out of hand. This is what the lady leader Lee who acted like an appointed pastor ignored with me at Hope of God Church. You just can't assume every Christian will know the Bible like a regular Christian should know, based on what the Bible says.
Anyway what's nice is finally moving on and choosing to be overflowing with grace, love, and mercy with those idiot Christians I was angry at for a long period of time. I'm still mad at them but I'm trying to overlook it on a daily basis now. If I can't, I'm just going to be making fun of them and laughing my butt off, but yeah I should add in some loving effect just because of my faith in Jesus.
Tuesday, November 27, 2018
Working Through Discomfort
I'm realizing for myself that it's common for people to be impulsive over the little things. Sometimes, it gets too annoying for me and I'm so mad about it. This is an area where I have been learning to control without letting myself get it out of hand. I have to admit though that when I let loose on the person I'm mad at, it feels really good sometimes even if I'm just imagining it happening.
I think it's because of my faith in Jesus that I don't really want to be an impulsive and angry person over the little stuff that annoys me about people. From having ran outdoors quite a lot so far for exercise and experiencing some hardships in the past with completing assignments successfully and feeling so great about achieving high marks, I can see that things can't always feel good in life and it's something that you just have to work at and be consistent in while hoping to get lucky and be right about it!
It's really tempting everyday to make fun of people I'm still mad at over silly things in the past. I have been learning to try to deal with it in a more positive manner, but I have to admit it feels so good to send them a message and start laughing at them for the effect it is about to cause them. I'm just starting to not really care so much about the little things these days and realizing there are more important things to look after, despite competing with others at similar interests sometimes.
There's a smart and holistic way that can work for everyone and this is what I want to continue to believe. Now, I have learned that it's important to sometimes just stick it out even when you aren't feeling it. I hope to become a rich and very athletic gentleman soon and with all the confidence in the world a short man would ever want to score the best wife he could ever dream of.
I think it's because of my faith in Jesus that I don't really want to be an impulsive and angry person over the little stuff that annoys me about people. From having ran outdoors quite a lot so far for exercise and experiencing some hardships in the past with completing assignments successfully and feeling so great about achieving high marks, I can see that things can't always feel good in life and it's something that you just have to work at and be consistent in while hoping to get lucky and be right about it!
It's really tempting everyday to make fun of people I'm still mad at over silly things in the past. I have been learning to try to deal with it in a more positive manner, but I have to admit it feels so good to send them a message and start laughing at them for the effect it is about to cause them. I'm just starting to not really care so much about the little things these days and realizing there are more important things to look after, despite competing with others at similar interests sometimes.
There's a smart and holistic way that can work for everyone and this is what I want to continue to believe. Now, I have learned that it's important to sometimes just stick it out even when you aren't feeling it. I hope to become a rich and very athletic gentleman soon and with all the confidence in the world a short man would ever want to score the best wife he could ever dream of.
Monday, November 26, 2018
Reaching Goal
I guess there are simple goals- like trying to reach a one post per day average on this post, which I'm finally reaching this month. The end? No, I have more to say. There are also goals that end up turning boring right on the spot like watching an anime show that ends up having a few boring elements for a few seconds before getting addictive again and it's just a constant cycle on repeat. This whole constant cycle of being boring and then feeling exciting in an ambivalent wave pattern feels almost like a mild case of bi-polar mental disease if you ask me. How do I put up with it? I don't care about how bored I get- I'm in it for the honey always!
The only concern about finishing stupid goals like the ones I mentioned above is that it makes me feel sheepish. I feel bad about playing a video game for hours and not stopping and neglecting my homework. I don't have any homework now, thank goodness, but I create my own homework. What do I mean by that? I'm trying to be successful and make lots of money so I voluntarily make homework for myself because I desire it. If I'm not doing this homework to try to make myself successful then what's the point of feeling sheepish after finishing a stupid goal?
If I just leave that rhetorical question by itself, it's an effective post but I will feel that I left it unanswered, so I might as well try to answer it. If I don't do homework to try to make myself successful then feeling sheepish after finishing a stupid goal is very stupid for me indeed. I have something to relate my life to and it's my journey of going on those long trail runs while feeling sore everyday! You have to just sit through it even though I'm sweating like crazy and feeling agony through making my aching legs run even faster up the hills. It's not a 100% comfortable feeling always, but it's like chugging away to get to the finish line. This is how my work life should essentially be. I'm just worried that if I work too much then I won't have any fun so I feel sad about it and this is where I get exposed to fun things and don't want to leave that fun thing all throughout the night and not get a lot of sleep sometimes. I think I need to be used to this whole feeling of trail running for long durations and call it training for a better life while being bored out of my silly mind! I'm not going to do so well at it, but I'm understanding what needs to be done now.
The only concern about finishing stupid goals like the ones I mentioned above is that it makes me feel sheepish. I feel bad about playing a video game for hours and not stopping and neglecting my homework. I don't have any homework now, thank goodness, but I create my own homework. What do I mean by that? I'm trying to be successful and make lots of money so I voluntarily make homework for myself because I desire it. If I'm not doing this homework to try to make myself successful then what's the point of feeling sheepish after finishing a stupid goal?
If I just leave that rhetorical question by itself, it's an effective post but I will feel that I left it unanswered, so I might as well try to answer it. If I don't do homework to try to make myself successful then feeling sheepish after finishing a stupid goal is very stupid for me indeed. I have something to relate my life to and it's my journey of going on those long trail runs while feeling sore everyday! You have to just sit through it even though I'm sweating like crazy and feeling agony through making my aching legs run even faster up the hills. It's not a 100% comfortable feeling always, but it's like chugging away to get to the finish line. This is how my work life should essentially be. I'm just worried that if I work too much then I won't have any fun so I feel sad about it and this is where I get exposed to fun things and don't want to leave that fun thing all throughout the night and not get a lot of sleep sometimes. I think I need to be used to this whole feeling of trail running for long durations and call it training for a better life while being bored out of my silly mind! I'm not going to do so well at it, but I'm understanding what needs to be done now.
Achieving Happiness
I'm writing this post while dealing with a headache at work. Let's see how I do! I guess I'm just trying to finally catch up so I want this to be a filler. It's pretty much like how I'm trying to attempt to write something epic for myself while having fun. I don't think a lot of people even care to read this from being too lazy, meaning it just isn't worthwhile enough to them. That's pretty nice though because a person told me he's too lazy to read my essays! I find that to be flattering because he thinks I'm capably smart.
There was a friend who told me another loser who put a restraining order on me started reading my posts like a religion. That loser friend doesn't read my blog anymore and is a messed up creature but I'm not so impulsive about trying to beat him up anymore. At the time, he thought I was some terrorist because he went through some psychosis from being so mad about how I made fun of him on this blog. This is why he put a restraining order on me- he was literally scared for his life after I made him so mad while he thought that he did nothing to me. He did do something to me- he made me really mad because he wasn't being a gentleman with this lovely lady at work who was lonely and looking for a man! This is all that chivalry stuff that I was feeling back then and boy she was a really tall woman and I'm sure she had a lot to offer while being so attractive for a black and young, single lady. The loser buddy was bad-mouthing her so bad like he owned the place he worked at and he didn't and he said don't let anyone know about this stuff he's venting. It really got on my nerves too much! Anyway this is the drama that occurred for me and he's nowhere I set my foot to anymore even with all these good people he wants to still associate with now. He just isn't worth someone taking seriously and I think even all of his girlfriends would feel troubled about that dude if I told her the whole story.
I'm achieving happiness from just writing about it on this blog and sharing it openly. I can't talk this openly with people because my spoken words don't speak faster than what I can type. I type pretty fast compared to how I talk from being so mellow and considering what I should say instead of being impulsive like having road rage and cussing out fellow drivers on the road! I'm just open and honest and not shy about it, so I think people would rather avoid me if they are so mad because I can continuously keep on playing the mellow type and make them look crazy now.
There was a friend who told me another loser who put a restraining order on me started reading my posts like a religion. That loser friend doesn't read my blog anymore and is a messed up creature but I'm not so impulsive about trying to beat him up anymore. At the time, he thought I was some terrorist because he went through some psychosis from being so mad about how I made fun of him on this blog. This is why he put a restraining order on me- he was literally scared for his life after I made him so mad while he thought that he did nothing to me. He did do something to me- he made me really mad because he wasn't being a gentleman with this lovely lady at work who was lonely and looking for a man! This is all that chivalry stuff that I was feeling back then and boy she was a really tall woman and I'm sure she had a lot to offer while being so attractive for a black and young, single lady. The loser buddy was bad-mouthing her so bad like he owned the place he worked at and he didn't and he said don't let anyone know about this stuff he's venting. It really got on my nerves too much! Anyway this is the drama that occurred for me and he's nowhere I set my foot to anymore even with all these good people he wants to still associate with now. He just isn't worth someone taking seriously and I think even all of his girlfriends would feel troubled about that dude if I told her the whole story.
I'm achieving happiness from just writing about it on this blog and sharing it openly. I can't talk this openly with people because my spoken words don't speak faster than what I can type. I type pretty fast compared to how I talk from being so mellow and considering what I should say instead of being impulsive like having road rage and cussing out fellow drivers on the road! I'm just open and honest and not shy about it, so I think people would rather avoid me if they are so mad because I can continuously keep on playing the mellow type and make them look crazy now.
Setting Priorities Straight
I'm finding out for myself that my mind works pretty slow. I just sit there and nothing comes through for a few minutes and then it gets fired back up to the point that I go into motion. Just try doing this all day, nothing will be done! Well, I'm sure some progress can still be made. It will just take a bit longer while being stretched out into days.
So now the question really is more like, what can be done to be fully content with one's own life? Setting up a simple routine and getting it done while having discussions among friends who are interested is great. It's nice to be friends with a couple lovely ladies who are really into working out. They can seriously point me in a good direction with reminders of what I know already. I can tell that they like me, which is cool. I guess relationships aren't really all about the act of making babies while having so much fun and focusing only on what's fun and not resulting in any kids. It's interesting for sure!
I'm seriously in disagreement these days with the school of old generational thinking. It's really quite weird in that I may not be having the lone and weird crazy life. A lot of people think in this same fashion and even experience it. With my culture, I'm around Koreans who believe in marrying other Koreans to stay within the culture. It's pretty cool actually to stay in it and to find someone nice and attractive to marry within one's own culture. However, I think it's more important to find the partner with the right qualities that will work on the long run.
I'm making this whole post about relationships I want to be in for setting my priorities. I guess then it's a major priority for me because it's something I desire these days. I have this thought of being lonely and all by myself while I'm rich and living in a great house while so healthy and with lots of free time. Oh man, it's the life and when I'm feeling lonely, I'll be just trying to reach out with meeting more nice ladies. It's really just that simple with planning.
So now the question really is more like, what can be done to be fully content with one's own life? Setting up a simple routine and getting it done while having discussions among friends who are interested is great. It's nice to be friends with a couple lovely ladies who are really into working out. They can seriously point me in a good direction with reminders of what I know already. I can tell that they like me, which is cool. I guess relationships aren't really all about the act of making babies while having so much fun and focusing only on what's fun and not resulting in any kids. It's interesting for sure!
I'm seriously in disagreement these days with the school of old generational thinking. It's really quite weird in that I may not be having the lone and weird crazy life. A lot of people think in this same fashion and even experience it. With my culture, I'm around Koreans who believe in marrying other Koreans to stay within the culture. It's pretty cool actually to stay in it and to find someone nice and attractive to marry within one's own culture. However, I think it's more important to find the partner with the right qualities that will work on the long run.
I'm making this whole post about relationships I want to be in for setting my priorities. I guess then it's a major priority for me because it's something I desire these days. I have this thought of being lonely and all by myself while I'm rich and living in a great house while so healthy and with lots of free time. Oh man, it's the life and when I'm feeling lonely, I'll be just trying to reach out with meeting more nice ladies. It's really just that simple with planning.
Staying Resilient
Resiliency is basically the state of having the character needed to be consistent at something. It's incredibly difficult to retain consistency as a lifestyle, but it's what's needed to make it work. Investing in smart people is awesome, but what if there's not enough money to do so then pretty much, a person is going to have to rely on something he or she is talented with and hope to get lucky.
I think like begets like and I'm entirely basing this blog off of just being personally myself. It's like I'm after doing myself a service and to get myself motivated while knowing my own full intentions with what I wrote. Back then, I had no control over what I was writing but I was too shy to even mention it to people I was mad at and sending those annoying messages to. It's actually really selfish but I think it's funny with what happened now since I'm not afraid of what I did anymore because it makes fun of them without them knowing what I'm really talking about and had them get very irritated about talking about it.
People can be so crazy from being impulsive and this is what I learned over something silly like sending passive aggressive messages that just centered on me making fun of them in the nicest way I could and letting out my grudge with them. I hit the send button with them and it was all this tension. It wasn't nice, but what I mentioned had nothing in there to really get me in trouble so it made them really scared. I was making them uncomfortable and it all happened because I got mad at them over nothing really serious. They aren't perfect people as well and they responded in a bad manner to me before I got mad at them, so I'm guessing they weren't aware of it. I think it's important for me to stay resilient with myself and people acting crazy around me from being impulsive. Self-control is even hard to contain for law enforcement officers and I even gave a few a hard time because they were probably tempted from having anger issues. With those anger issues coming out, it makes them feel bad about it later on and there are also repercussions they have to feel lucky about not happening because it didn't get that far. The incident isn't also that serious, so it will not make them look very good now from having acted in that manner and others find out about so I guess they weren't meant to deal with it and I just have to let them know next time when they are caught up in my own drama.
I think like begets like and I'm entirely basing this blog off of just being personally myself. It's like I'm after doing myself a service and to get myself motivated while knowing my own full intentions with what I wrote. Back then, I had no control over what I was writing but I was too shy to even mention it to people I was mad at and sending those annoying messages to. It's actually really selfish but I think it's funny with what happened now since I'm not afraid of what I did anymore because it makes fun of them without them knowing what I'm really talking about and had them get very irritated about talking about it.
People can be so crazy from being impulsive and this is what I learned over something silly like sending passive aggressive messages that just centered on me making fun of them in the nicest way I could and letting out my grudge with them. I hit the send button with them and it was all this tension. It wasn't nice, but what I mentioned had nothing in there to really get me in trouble so it made them really scared. I was making them uncomfortable and it all happened because I got mad at them over nothing really serious. They aren't perfect people as well and they responded in a bad manner to me before I got mad at them, so I'm guessing they weren't aware of it. I think it's important for me to stay resilient with myself and people acting crazy around me from being impulsive. Self-control is even hard to contain for law enforcement officers and I even gave a few a hard time because they were probably tempted from having anger issues. With those anger issues coming out, it makes them feel bad about it later on and there are also repercussions they have to feel lucky about not happening because it didn't get that far. The incident isn't also that serious, so it will not make them look very good now from having acted in that manner and others find out about so I guess they weren't meant to deal with it and I just have to let them know next time when they are caught up in my own drama.
Understanding Time Management
For myself, I'm starting to realize that my long-term desires and short-term ones don't match up. It's like while I'm in the moment, I want to be happy from keeping myself entertained and eat anything to my heart's content and not get fat off of it! At the same time, I want to have the love of my life to enjoy getting physically intimate with. I mean it's just all of this excess fun and enjoyment that you want, right? However, it's not happening for me. I wonder what's missing for me.
I know I'm lacking in somewhere with my personal character during my time management. I'm not enabling myself enough during these critical periods of free time I find myself in. With this free time, I'm just surfing the web and letting my mind wander while trying to read up on entertaining things like celebrities' lavish lifestyles or maybe about popular movies. I even read up on user comments on sports sites and have fun laughing at arguments that get a little out of hand, while not getting myself involved. I'm perfectly fine with being this anonymous observer at the moment and feel content with trying to organize around my life.
Reading up on material that I found curious about wanting to know, I've learned there are quite some useful and free information. It seems like it really takes a lot of common sense and being patient with gaining experience before coming away with figuring something out. I guess it's just putting in the time to go seeking and having willingness to experience working through some setbacks. From having made myself sore the past week with running six days straight out of the seven, I'm realizing that it requires just sitting through it sometimes to get to a result. It's not the most comfortable feeling in the world but it's necessary in order to achieve the desired result and it's all done out of living as a privilege.
I realize that I messed myself up from being mentally unstable while growing up. I didn't have the role model that I wanted and I was so shy and unbreakable with my lifestyle choices. It's not too bad because I didn't hammer away my brain cells. I just didn't have the best parents to help me through in those really important life-changing moments. It would have been great, but they didn't really know how to be successful. I'm still living with them and now, I just want to make a lot of money so I can comfortably move out and have a great experience with finding a nice partner.
I know I'm lacking in somewhere with my personal character during my time management. I'm not enabling myself enough during these critical periods of free time I find myself in. With this free time, I'm just surfing the web and letting my mind wander while trying to read up on entertaining things like celebrities' lavish lifestyles or maybe about popular movies. I even read up on user comments on sports sites and have fun laughing at arguments that get a little out of hand, while not getting myself involved. I'm perfectly fine with being this anonymous observer at the moment and feel content with trying to organize around my life.
Reading up on material that I found curious about wanting to know, I've learned there are quite some useful and free information. It seems like it really takes a lot of common sense and being patient with gaining experience before coming away with figuring something out. I guess it's just putting in the time to go seeking and having willingness to experience working through some setbacks. From having made myself sore the past week with running six days straight out of the seven, I'm realizing that it requires just sitting through it sometimes to get to a result. It's not the most comfortable feeling in the world but it's necessary in order to achieve the desired result and it's all done out of living as a privilege.
I realize that I messed myself up from being mentally unstable while growing up. I didn't have the role model that I wanted and I was so shy and unbreakable with my lifestyle choices. It's not too bad because I didn't hammer away my brain cells. I just didn't have the best parents to help me through in those really important life-changing moments. It would have been great, but they didn't really know how to be successful. I'm still living with them and now, I just want to make a lot of money so I can comfortably move out and have a great experience with finding a nice partner.
Friday, November 23, 2018
Embracing Suffering
I have yet to find out the entire truth about myself, but I think a lot of incidents that I don't like happen because I'm just being selfish and not man enough to handle it. Fortunately, the worst thing that happens to me is just losing time but with the efforts I have made to become a better person, it doesn't really feel that hard with being the person I like to be around others. I'm taking interest these days in a good way with people, and I know it while feeling great about it. It's not really a big deal to communicate openly, and I was just so shy back then from being selfish about not wanting myself to look bad. I ended up making it bad for myself anyway from being too shy because I turned off quite a few girls I was interested in getting to know. I mean it's not bad that people generally don't really have anything against me, but a few do struggle with being crazy to me in certain areas and can't resolve it while being fully loving about it.
My area of struggle really comes from boredom and wanting to rely on a beautiful lady I'm married with to provide some loving comfort. I'm lacking confidence in this area because I'm always short-sighting myself and not able to have enough patience. I can't do this everyday because it always gets boring after awhile before resetting, but I have been practicing with developing stamina from using inspiration from pornographic actors! It's pretty funny with what I'm doing and how I look at it. I'm just not addicted to the material- it's the signs and wonders of exploring my body that I'm more concerned about! I have been trying to study how to provide utmost physical pleasure for someone but intend to use the knowledge only for marriage. I guess from a heart issue and a spiritual standpoint, I could do better for myself but yeah, this is really a borderline sin that I'm flirting with. It's basically one of those in the closet things that people are probably going to prefer never finding out about. It's not that my status will change with them too much if they do, so I'm just writing freely about it on this blog.
This blog really has this effect of giving me freedom from some of the stresses I deal with. I'm realizing that I'm a really selfish guy even though I prefer to get around while trying to stay nice with everybody. I'm living under happiness from believing upon my Lord and savior Jesus. I want to be the best I can be to lead others who haven't to give God a chance and to allow Him to change them for the better and experience so much freedom from bondage of sins. I'm going to need to keep working on myself, and I'm realizing that maybe my struggle might be a byproduct of my past issue with short-term bipolar / schizophrenic condition. My mom has stated to not talk about it while crying about it several times with me. I have insisted on bringing it up all the time, but my parents think I'm trying to blame them for it. In a way, I sort of do because of the way they handled a few key moments I was really sensitive about while growing up. They aren't perfect parents and have weird beliefs and to have been raised by them, I didn't really get much feedback from them because they were more focused on making money to catch up in life and pretty much just have each other to deal with. It's a pretty weird relationship, so I wonder if how they acted with each other really is causing me to not want to just jump into a relationship. I probably don't want to break up with anyone nor get into a nasty fight when I do get in one, so this is probably why I haven't found the one yet.
My area of struggle really comes from boredom and wanting to rely on a beautiful lady I'm married with to provide some loving comfort. I'm lacking confidence in this area because I'm always short-sighting myself and not able to have enough patience. I can't do this everyday because it always gets boring after awhile before resetting, but I have been practicing with developing stamina from using inspiration from pornographic actors! It's pretty funny with what I'm doing and how I look at it. I'm just not addicted to the material- it's the signs and wonders of exploring my body that I'm more concerned about! I have been trying to study how to provide utmost physical pleasure for someone but intend to use the knowledge only for marriage. I guess from a heart issue and a spiritual standpoint, I could do better for myself but yeah, this is really a borderline sin that I'm flirting with. It's basically one of those in the closet things that people are probably going to prefer never finding out about. It's not that my status will change with them too much if they do, so I'm just writing freely about it on this blog.
This blog really has this effect of giving me freedom from some of the stresses I deal with. I'm realizing that I'm a really selfish guy even though I prefer to get around while trying to stay nice with everybody. I'm living under happiness from believing upon my Lord and savior Jesus. I want to be the best I can be to lead others who haven't to give God a chance and to allow Him to change them for the better and experience so much freedom from bondage of sins. I'm going to need to keep working on myself, and I'm realizing that maybe my struggle might be a byproduct of my past issue with short-term bipolar / schizophrenic condition. My mom has stated to not talk about it while crying about it several times with me. I have insisted on bringing it up all the time, but my parents think I'm trying to blame them for it. In a way, I sort of do because of the way they handled a few key moments I was really sensitive about while growing up. They aren't perfect parents and have weird beliefs and to have been raised by them, I didn't really get much feedback from them because they were more focused on making money to catch up in life and pretty much just have each other to deal with. It's a pretty weird relationship, so I wonder if how they acted with each other really is causing me to not want to just jump into a relationship. I probably don't want to break up with anyone nor get into a nasty fight when I do get in one, so this is probably why I haven't found the one yet.
Black Friday Resolutions
Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day and I ended up having a long lunch with my sister and her boyfriend. After that, I ended up playing Magic the Gathering by myself the whole time. I was really intrigued by the idea of studying the whole synergy of a few decks. I stumbled upon creating a modern type deck that could win in the third turn and nothing can be done about it, but it doesn't perfectly happen all the time. It was pretty entertaining nonetheless to just continuously test it out and play for fun.
I think it's common for people to do New Year's resolutions, but I will go after making some on Black Friday! From still being single at the age of 35 and never having had a girlfriend, I have something at least from being great friends and rather close while feeling like family with a few girls. I'm sort of greedy for meeting more nice ladies. It's crazy in that my preferences with finding a lady I want to marry really deal with her personality and decisions. I guess I've been having several opportunities with attractive women who are older and trying to hit me up on a dating website while stating they are Christian, but they have kids to take care of and I'm not too sure how to go about it yet.
With these lady friends of mine, I'm letting them down quite often and I don't mean to. I'm realizing my own faults that I need to work on for myself. They are pretty cool about it with me though. With one of them, I would actually like to end up marrying her if it's possible to have something enjoyably romantic and to stay physically passionate about on a regular basis. However, she's taken to another partner. I think I could be a decent match with her and seriously love and accept who she is even with her occasionally funny and flirty outbursts with other people. Overall, it's something for me to just make progress over and not push at. Maybe, I'm just getting warmer with the type of ladies I want to find and date.
I think it's common for people to do New Year's resolutions, but I will go after making some on Black Friday! From still being single at the age of 35 and never having had a girlfriend, I have something at least from being great friends and rather close while feeling like family with a few girls. I'm sort of greedy for meeting more nice ladies. It's crazy in that my preferences with finding a lady I want to marry really deal with her personality and decisions. I guess I've been having several opportunities with attractive women who are older and trying to hit me up on a dating website while stating they are Christian, but they have kids to take care of and I'm not too sure how to go about it yet.
With these lady friends of mine, I'm letting them down quite often and I don't mean to. I'm realizing my own faults that I need to work on for myself. They are pretty cool about it with me though. With one of them, I would actually like to end up marrying her if it's possible to have something enjoyably romantic and to stay physically passionate about on a regular basis. However, she's taken to another partner. I think I could be a decent match with her and seriously love and accept who she is even with her occasionally funny and flirty outbursts with other people. Overall, it's something for me to just make progress over and not push at. Maybe, I'm just getting warmer with the type of ladies I want to find and date.
Wednesday, November 21, 2018
Making Improvements
Overall it's actually a lot of fun to hang out with people and be nice. The personality of just talking out of turn to blurt out stuff is just what you do I guess to have fun. It probably starts off as annoying for some people before getting improved from maturing. It's just practically meant to be funny I guess and no actual harm done. Some of the things I have heard from co-workers is pretty aggressive, and they are putting up a stance against each other. One of the guys tells the other to shut up all the time! In this case, I don't think it's meant to be a fun thing to do with each other then. It doesn't mean that the laughter goes away while thinking about it.
Being around ladies, I'm around a lady who is studying to be a doctor. She is very open about telling me how the female body works with me in informal terms. She will even put a spin on the psychology of women, which can be quite helpful. It's nice to have a lovely friendship with these types of girls. However, I don't really find myself to be super attracted to her yet. I guess I'll keep an open mind about it because she does come across as the successful type. What I'm trying to get at mainly to stick to the title is that I'm talking more freely with girls and I had trouble doing this. I still had girls approaching me in college, and my dumb mind at the time didn't know they were actually attracted to me. I was like thinking I'm too short so I'm not going to do much and hide how much I feel so sad!
It makes it a lot easier now to have female friends I can relate to because I can say much and they will take a little offense to it! Like with my little sister, I just talked about junk all day and all night back then that she tired of it eventually and wanted to lock me in my own room and make me never come out. I was very annoying to her because I was a lost cause and such a hard worker at being one. I guess I'm lucky to finally realize all of this and to have made the right choice of trying to leave that stupid old church out of my crazy schemes. I still play an instrument and sing a song I modified just for Crazy Lee. It starts like this, "Lee I know you let yourself down. Lee, I can tell by the fact you'll come around..."
Being around ladies, I'm around a lady who is studying to be a doctor. She is very open about telling me how the female body works with me in informal terms. She will even put a spin on the psychology of women, which can be quite helpful. It's nice to have a lovely friendship with these types of girls. However, I don't really find myself to be super attracted to her yet. I guess I'll keep an open mind about it because she does come across as the successful type. What I'm trying to get at mainly to stick to the title is that I'm talking more freely with girls and I had trouble doing this. I still had girls approaching me in college, and my dumb mind at the time didn't know they were actually attracted to me. I was like thinking I'm too short so I'm not going to do much and hide how much I feel so sad!
It makes it a lot easier now to have female friends I can relate to because I can say much and they will take a little offense to it! Like with my little sister, I just talked about junk all day and all night back then that she tired of it eventually and wanted to lock me in my own room and make me never come out. I was very annoying to her because I was a lost cause and such a hard worker at being one. I guess I'm lucky to finally realize all of this and to have made the right choice of trying to leave that stupid old church out of my crazy schemes. I still play an instrument and sing a song I modified just for Crazy Lee. It starts like this, "Lee I know you let yourself down. Lee, I can tell by the fact you'll come around..."
Being An Expert At Something
Well I guess it wouldn't be hard for someone to realize that he or she is an expert at knowing where he or she is bad at in life. I just don't think many would be interested in discussing about it if it's going to be perceived as not beneficial. It takes sometimes a lot of discipline and a few risks to get somewhere in life. It's really hard to ignore that something negative might be unwisely done from missing a few details. This is much like playing a fun game against another opponent and trying to go for the win and just having to settle for a loss or feeling great about winning. It's pretty much black and white each time- you put in the amount of work you want to and hope for the best!
I guess it's awesome to have a lot of reminders set in place or to just know how one operates. There really is some luck involved with living a happy life. If it doesn't work out, then there's really not much one can do about it. It would be about having to just move on. I have been working on not letting myself get too angry over something silly now. It's just not worth it to work at embarrassing someone you are bitter about over something not important like issues with that old church I keep on bringing up.
One thing that has really helped me connect with good friends is to just be myself and not shy about expressing myself. I think it's good to be genuine especially if you represent a wonderful faith like a person who truly believes in Christ.
I guess it's awesome to have a lot of reminders set in place or to just know how one operates. There really is some luck involved with living a happy life. If it doesn't work out, then there's really not much one can do about it. It would be about having to just move on. I have been working on not letting myself get too angry over something silly now. It's just not worth it to work at embarrassing someone you are bitter about over something not important like issues with that old church I keep on bringing up.
One thing that has really helped me connect with good friends is to just be myself and not shy about expressing myself. I think it's good to be genuine especially if you represent a wonderful faith like a person who truly believes in Christ.
Tuesday, November 20, 2018
Letting Things Go
Man, this really sucks because as a Christian, I made an oath that isn't sinful. If it was sinful, then by default I could pray for forgiveness and repent of that thought and move on with the Lord's grace and mercy overflowing my life with the help of the Holy Spirit and God's gracious Word! It means that I'm obligated to carry it out and it's a burden I placed upon myself- it's like a debt that I have to pay off even though I don't want to now. Therefore, it's really important to be careful about swearing an oath. I'm not going to talk about my oath because it's going to scare the people at that old church I really hate these days. Hate the sins, not the people. It's more similar to like saying hate the game, not the players!
Yeah, we live in a fallen world so no church is perfect and that's the truth. I'm moving on from what happened in the past because it didn't matter. It wasn't serious with them acting crazy about stuff with me. I really don't care and know they were under a state of psychosis from being so angry about nothing important and wanting to take matters into their own hand. It was seriously overdoing it on their end, but it ended up with nothing really that bad happening to me even though they said it would. It was just them being really crazy after all and so I was just having trouble managing the past because I was mad they would behave so inappropriately. Oh well, it's something I have been continuing to work on for myself. From doing so, it's even helping me with my own personal relationships with others so after all, it is a positive even though the experience sucked and I swore an oath that isn't sinful and I'm bound to fulfill it under Christian principles.
Yeah, we live in a fallen world so no church is perfect and that's the truth. I'm moving on from what happened in the past because it didn't matter. It wasn't serious with them acting crazy about stuff with me. I really don't care and know they were under a state of psychosis from being so angry about nothing important and wanting to take matters into their own hand. It was seriously overdoing it on their end, but it ended up with nothing really that bad happening to me even though they said it would. It was just them being really crazy after all and so I was just having trouble managing the past because I was mad they would behave so inappropriately. Oh well, it's something I have been continuing to work on for myself. From doing so, it's even helping me with my own personal relationships with others so after all, it is a positive even though the experience sucked and I swore an oath that isn't sinful and I'm bound to fulfill it under Christian principles.
Typical Life
I think one of my biggest desires to cope with is having a nice and attractive wife who is open to having a lot of physically intimate action. I guess just enough until either of us want to pass out from being too tired and then let it build back up in a few days. It would be like rinse and repeat and I believe that I would be very satisfied if I can find and marry her. I have a few obstacles to deal with to get there. First of all, I could use a much higher income and not show up to work whenever I don't want to. This is stuff guys like me can only dream of right now, but I see that there is a lot of hard work involved even when you aren't feeling it. It's like after getting through that hurdle and you are happy from what's been done then it was a good thing. This is much like passing a really hard video game and taking several weeks and then getting bored of it, but from being a shy kid I had nothing else to do so I committed to it and then I passed a super hard video game when I was around eight years old. I had to ask a few friends for tips of course, but hey, I did it!
Besides getting pretty decent at becoming a button smasher with great timing, I don't really feel quite so proud of it because I don't want to spend years trying to chase after people who make a living doing it- I will get dusted in the qualification rounds and there's lots of money being potentially lost and it's just not worth it to me anymore. I had this issue of always tensing up and then performing badly. I think to avoid the whole tensing up, a lot of preparation needs to go into it so that the nerves don't limit you. I guess one can say I was too lazy even though I knew all of this and just couldn't manage my time very well so I was feeling quite distracted and not very happy. In this mood, it's very hard to even continue working hard but from having trained to run a few marathons and still running today by alternating 5K or 10K distances, I have been learning to stick with things better and even improving my speed or health!
Besides getting pretty decent at becoming a button smasher with great timing, I don't really feel quite so proud of it because I don't want to spend years trying to chase after people who make a living doing it- I will get dusted in the qualification rounds and there's lots of money being potentially lost and it's just not worth it to me anymore. I had this issue of always tensing up and then performing badly. I think to avoid the whole tensing up, a lot of preparation needs to go into it so that the nerves don't limit you. I guess one can say I was too lazy even though I knew all of this and just couldn't manage my time very well so I was feeling quite distracted and not very happy. In this mood, it's very hard to even continue working hard but from having trained to run a few marathons and still running today by alternating 5K or 10K distances, I have been learning to stick with things better and even improving my speed or health!
Friday, November 16, 2018
Interesting Moments
Because of my will to write stupid and passive aggressive messages and then send them like a jerk to people I was mad at, it caused me some major headaches after wanting to still be friends with them! Those people turned crazy about stuff that don't matter to me and are silly in general; the reference is me because I say they are not serious. Those people don't care; they just don't want to talk about it anymore. It's because I think they'll feel bothered remembering how bad they were and not feeling that much justification over it. It also makes them feel like they worked so hard, but now going to lose their reputation with people who find out about it. I did this to my little sister back then and she turned so crazy with anger issues and would start shouting and threatening that she was going to call the police on me! I really didn't know what to do about it.
Writing messages and not making sense while you are angry and trying to stay nice about it and then sending it and before you send it, just stay quiet about it and just ask annoying questions while thinking it's good for a serious discussion, yes this will drive a person so crazy he or she will leave the facility you are at and never want to come back! The super crazy and bad thing for those people is that I now know it isn't serious. I had anger issues over trivial things dealing with people. I was like mad at a good friend hugging me with only one arm- it really doesn't matter! I was like mad to be just texted 'Ok' by a girl and to think she doesn't like me, but that's the way she is and she does like me.
These are all little things and they don't really count that much but they all add up in a person's life and it's good to let it go and learn something out of it based on what you want out of life. I want to be friendly with people, so I learned to just be straight-forward and honest with them because from talking like that, I'm humoring myself from how silly everything is so I don't feel mad anymore. It's life and living for what we desire and working really hard for it!
Writing messages and not making sense while you are angry and trying to stay nice about it and then sending it and before you send it, just stay quiet about it and just ask annoying questions while thinking it's good for a serious discussion, yes this will drive a person so crazy he or she will leave the facility you are at and never want to come back! The super crazy and bad thing for those people is that I now know it isn't serious. I had anger issues over trivial things dealing with people. I was like mad at a good friend hugging me with only one arm- it really doesn't matter! I was like mad to be just texted 'Ok' by a girl and to think she doesn't like me, but that's the way she is and she does like me.
These are all little things and they don't really count that much but they all add up in a person's life and it's good to let it go and learn something out of it based on what you want out of life. I want to be friendly with people, so I learned to just be straight-forward and honest with them because from talking like that, I'm humoring myself from how silly everything is so I don't feel mad anymore. It's life and living for what we desire and working really hard for it!
Things Not Being Serious
All these years, the worst things that have bugged me so much and made me think about it to the point of exhaustion and wanting to give up have been about being mad over silly things! I want to end this post right now and because I don't feel like writing but I guess I may start putting down something- this is how I run things around here.
Anyway, I'm much more relaxed from realizing that stupid things that want to drive you crazy are really nothing more than annoying things that you have to let go of and to focus on more healthier things. It's not good to revert back to a vice in place of it- ahem, porno but I've read that it really doesn't help anybody but entertain them down below there. If there's too much of it, it's like building tolerance to alcohol because the effect will be much less and guys who are addicted to it will start having trouble standing up from being all wobbly and having to walk while spreading their legs.
I'm kidding, it hasn't happened to me yet because I'm not addicted to porno. I have better things like hanging out with pretty girls to do then watch them doing something sinful. It's not the most fun idea for me of the night, so I guess when guys have that feeling of wanting to be awakened below there, they really have something that might turn into a handful. I think it's just choosing to not get carried away with it. It's harder at first and then just becomes easier and second nature. The fact that I'm still reverting once in awhile and carrying on like nothing ever happened after, I really need to just suck it up when it tries to hit me home. I haven't tried crying about it to myself but maybe it will work- whining all by myself and letting tears come down because it doesn't feel good sometimes to let that energy dry itself out.
Anyway, I'm much more relaxed from realizing that stupid things that want to drive you crazy are really nothing more than annoying things that you have to let go of and to focus on more healthier things. It's not good to revert back to a vice in place of it- ahem, porno but I've read that it really doesn't help anybody but entertain them down below there. If there's too much of it, it's like building tolerance to alcohol because the effect will be much less and guys who are addicted to it will start having trouble standing up from being all wobbly and having to walk while spreading their legs.
I'm kidding, it hasn't happened to me yet because I'm not addicted to porno. I have better things like hanging out with pretty girls to do then watch them doing something sinful. It's not the most fun idea for me of the night, so I guess when guys have that feeling of wanting to be awakened below there, they really have something that might turn into a handful. I think it's just choosing to not get carried away with it. It's harder at first and then just becomes easier and second nature. The fact that I'm still reverting once in awhile and carrying on like nothing ever happened after, I really need to just suck it up when it tries to hit me home. I haven't tried crying about it to myself but maybe it will work- whining all by myself and letting tears come down because it doesn't feel good sometimes to let that energy dry itself out.
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