It could be hormones dying down or something, but pretty ladies' appearances don't really sway me so much anymore. They are very attractive and nice to look at, and I can still feel like I want to have a lot of fun with them, so I guess my hormones aren't all the way to the low and it's just human. I think I've screwed up so many times that I really haven't met someone and I'm getting older.
Maybe I just have a different outlook in life. I'm not a big fan of adversity dealing with people relationships and just haven't met the right girl for me yet to really ask out. There's actually one who I relate to and get along so well with but she's going to be like permanently taken so nothing I can do about it. There's another who is really cute, but I'm just not sure if it would be beneficial yet. On a side note, I might have met one with a lot of sexual energy to offer in a relationship; I can feel it with that one, so I don't have much time to consider with her. I'm going to live out my life trying to be a full-blown Christian so I'm not advocating with practicing fornication. Keep it pure, get married, and then let the marriage bed fall apart from too much partying!
I guess I'll marry late then and possibly have no kids and I can accept it despite my parents not liking it. The only way I will seriously consider getting married to anyone is when I'm able to have so much free time while having got rich with my own business and also being healthy with a physically good looking body. Since dating is meant for purposes of getting married to me, I don't really want to hold anybody back from happiness because I'm just not ready. If it never happens, then I'm cool with it and die a failure practically. It's sad, but I'll learn to manage. I guess my main pursuit in life is really improving upon myself with the Lord's help, so that I will be confident enough to marry somebody someday, even if it's going to be so late. It's pretty embarrassing in a way, but I'm not regretting the personal time I've had all to myself with all the attempts to have fun and satisfy myself.
I have three requirements before I feel confidence to go out and find somebody to marry, it has to be done by myself mainly. It would be nice if I could ease up on my ambition, but it's not my true personality right now and my parents only did so much with raising me. My mom just wasn't that smart enough and always too tired to figure things out for me and provide with helping me out over basic important stuff she assumed people can find out for themselves. I basically relied on myself and was immature all the time while having potential to study my brains out and feel depressed from getting A's and not having fun. I was like this in middle school and throughout first half of high school and I really hated it, so I guess going to the top school wasn't happening for me. I had my chance, but it fell out for me.
Moving on, I don't see it as a bad thing for my friends in the past to get married and some of them being happy or still dealing with a marital issue. It's not bad to have this independence and in a way, it's actually enviable and everybody wants the ideal life as well even though some don't have time to think about it. With my friends telling me that there's nothing wrong with really working on yourself, I guess it's better to wait it out and improve yourself rather than trying to force your own way through being patient and leaving some messy areas out that have room for improvement. I can be happy for my friends who are also doing well.
Enough digressing, to summarize my three requirements as of this moment and this is how I'm living my life, it's crazy, but I think I was born with a personality that is meant for being in a deep and loving relationship with a special woman I have yet to meet or discover right under my nose and in the process of finding her, I will just go through the motions of being a guy who keeps working at it and being honest with all my friends. 1) Obtain a lot of money with my own business 2) Enjoy having a lot of free time 3) Maintain a healthy and good looking body.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
Thursday, May 31, 2018
Wednesday, May 30, 2018
Knowing What To Expect
Coming to fully accept with what you are expecting to possibly happen is so important! I guess something happens to lead you to think a certain way and then when you go that path and it doesn't go the way you wanted it to then it's pretty much an "Oh well." I think a few people did this to me and they are like now terrified of me because of all this time I had to potentially plot something against them. I'll just let out the truth and that might take away their support system from people not taking them so seriously anymore, so they are just going to have to improve upon themselves to survive in their own perceived dog-eat-dog world! I'm just laughing about it because I realize all it takes to resolve my situation is for me to be brave enough to spill the whole truth and man enough to accept all the tragedy and undesired consequences that could result from it.
Another thing that can result from accurately projecting your own future behavior is to plan accordingly. This is a tool that will be useful for applying towards obtaining personal satisfaction. I guess my desire is so great to read up on different articles sometimes that don't pertain anything to my current life and put knowledge in my head from just reading. I think it's a great addiction to have because you are reading for knowledge and it's something you want to know and pursuing after! In addition, it's just fun and makes you feel so bubbly inside.
I'm expecting myself to be tired today and go to sleep when I go home. My goal is I want to be a millionaire and not have to work traditional hours and find time to develop myself better on areas I've always wanted to work on like fixing cars or cooking or even programming video games. I could even explore volunteering in different areas of the community while even working out and trying different martial arts and then go socialize at a church at the weirdest time of day with people I want to be around!
It could be that I don't know what to expect that I feel worn out about going after a goal that feels emotionless for me- getting more money. I could care less if I had zero dollars as long as I had all the food I need with proper housing and was having fun! I wouldn't expect that so I'm working right now at a job. I now want to not work with these traditional hours and just have fun doing my own thing and this is probably what's uncomfortable to me because it would be something so new and not even sure if I could handle it.
It's probably this mentality that's getting me to not work so hard at going after this simple goal I have in mind. Plus, I need to deal with girls who are starting to pursue after me now! I never thought that would be possible in a million years, but yeah, I'm getting that too. Since it's a simple goal to keep in mind, I might as well just work for it by planning accordingly with my personal schedule. I think working out is awesome too and everybody should do it because it keeps you light on your feet and things can feel easier, instead of having to breath so hard and snore loudly and all of that while laughing at stuff that are miserable and failing to see that with yourself and just staying quiet under personal adversity and avoiding people laughing at you. It's not the lifestyle that I want, so I'm going to keep on working out ladies and gentlemen!
Another thing that can result from accurately projecting your own future behavior is to plan accordingly. This is a tool that will be useful for applying towards obtaining personal satisfaction. I guess my desire is so great to read up on different articles sometimes that don't pertain anything to my current life and put knowledge in my head from just reading. I think it's a great addiction to have because you are reading for knowledge and it's something you want to know and pursuing after! In addition, it's just fun and makes you feel so bubbly inside.
I'm expecting myself to be tired today and go to sleep when I go home. My goal is I want to be a millionaire and not have to work traditional hours and find time to develop myself better on areas I've always wanted to work on like fixing cars or cooking or even programming video games. I could even explore volunteering in different areas of the community while even working out and trying different martial arts and then go socialize at a church at the weirdest time of day with people I want to be around!
It could be that I don't know what to expect that I feel worn out about going after a goal that feels emotionless for me- getting more money. I could care less if I had zero dollars as long as I had all the food I need with proper housing and was having fun! I wouldn't expect that so I'm working right now at a job. I now want to not work with these traditional hours and just have fun doing my own thing and this is probably what's uncomfortable to me because it would be something so new and not even sure if I could handle it.
It's probably this mentality that's getting me to not work so hard at going after this simple goal I have in mind. Plus, I need to deal with girls who are starting to pursue after me now! I never thought that would be possible in a million years, but yeah, I'm getting that too. Since it's a simple goal to keep in mind, I might as well just work for it by planning accordingly with my personal schedule. I think working out is awesome too and everybody should do it because it keeps you light on your feet and things can feel easier, instead of having to breath so hard and snore loudly and all of that while laughing at stuff that are miserable and failing to see that with yourself and just staying quiet under personal adversity and avoiding people laughing at you. It's not the lifestyle that I want, so I'm going to keep on working out ladies and gentlemen!
Maximizing Satisfaction With Usage of Time
This is probably something to not take me so seriously with. I do want it but I think my main struggle is just from not committing to my personal plans. I feel it and then when it's time to get to it, I end up choking from not being able to let go of a distraction. I guess this has to do with being human. I guess everybody has stuff to deal with and it's hard sometimes and could be a weakness.
I just need to continue working on myself and being punctual with my plans. Yeah, it's fun for me to do other stuff and get carried away with it on a daily basis. I wish I could be paid millions of dollars just to do what I'm doing so I wouldn't have to go into work. I would find something to do in the process. The temptations to go out and do stuff I could regret in the end are real! Fortunately, they are just little stuff at the moment and they just keep piling up into days and then years which is starting to become a drag. Just the other day, I ended up watching YouTube videos of amazing basketball plays and then I fell asleep on my uncomfortable chair and even dreamt of stuff and think I ended up in just my underwear when I woke up! True story and quite funny to me.
It's probably fatigue and the pressure of feeling with not having enough time and my tiring body just wanting to slow down in the evening that makes it really hard to get stuff done. I guess I can work on a main task then, along with supporting stuff to go along with it if I have the time. It's like I can go through the motion of reading my Bible and trying to understand it because I really do want to grow in my relationship with the Lord, but I don't want to put in that much from just knowing that I don't have a calling to be a pastor. I'm probably letting down some Christians as of this moment. I'm meant to be a giver guys! I think I'll just put in some time to study three passages of the Bible no matter how many verses it makes up to symbolize morning, afternoon, and evening in one session. I'm in the New Testament right now, and I've had the privilege of listening to Scriptures by connecting my phone to the car stereo. I guess that would be sufficient for me then. I also try to pay attention to teachings on the radio as much as I can while driving in rush hour.
I'm going to have to eventually fellowship with some more believers, but right now it seems like I'm part of a different family and have opportunity to witness to them about Jesus at times. Maybe that's what my church is like- it's basically being around people who don't really know who Jesus is but open to listening to me about him sometimes because I'm just their friend. It feels very comfortable instead of having this religious aspect like that dreadful church in Los Angeles- come on, they need to come to their senses and depend fully on the Lord and wisely replace a pastor with a man of God who will just boldly proclaim the Word of God without any hesitation!
I just need to continue working on myself and being punctual with my plans. Yeah, it's fun for me to do other stuff and get carried away with it on a daily basis. I wish I could be paid millions of dollars just to do what I'm doing so I wouldn't have to go into work. I would find something to do in the process. The temptations to go out and do stuff I could regret in the end are real! Fortunately, they are just little stuff at the moment and they just keep piling up into days and then years which is starting to become a drag. Just the other day, I ended up watching YouTube videos of amazing basketball plays and then I fell asleep on my uncomfortable chair and even dreamt of stuff and think I ended up in just my underwear when I woke up! True story and quite funny to me.
It's probably fatigue and the pressure of feeling with not having enough time and my tiring body just wanting to slow down in the evening that makes it really hard to get stuff done. I guess I can work on a main task then, along with supporting stuff to go along with it if I have the time. It's like I can go through the motion of reading my Bible and trying to understand it because I really do want to grow in my relationship with the Lord, but I don't want to put in that much from just knowing that I don't have a calling to be a pastor. I'm probably letting down some Christians as of this moment. I'm meant to be a giver guys! I think I'll just put in some time to study three passages of the Bible no matter how many verses it makes up to symbolize morning, afternoon, and evening in one session. I'm in the New Testament right now, and I've had the privilege of listening to Scriptures by connecting my phone to the car stereo. I guess that would be sufficient for me then. I also try to pay attention to teachings on the radio as much as I can while driving in rush hour.
I'm going to have to eventually fellowship with some more believers, but right now it seems like I'm part of a different family and have opportunity to witness to them about Jesus at times. Maybe that's what my church is like- it's basically being around people who don't really know who Jesus is but open to listening to me about him sometimes because I'm just their friend. It feels very comfortable instead of having this religious aspect like that dreadful church in Los Angeles- come on, they need to come to their senses and depend fully on the Lord and wisely replace a pastor with a man of God who will just boldly proclaim the Word of God without any hesitation!
Height Really Might Not Matter
I talk about how short I am and people silently chuckle or think it's funny especially to mention in basketball. I talked about how because I'm short I became discouraged to play basketball. It's not really serious because I haven't chosen basketball to be my profession and God bless those athletes who do.
I think even with a guy being short, he can still command a pretty good presence from being a great host or alpha male. I don't know what it's like to be an alpha male, but it's huge and attractive to girls who first come to meet you. I might have had something like that from being older than everybody in my group and just chill about it and also from having a healthy body with a good head on my shoulders. I guess it would make sense for girls who are looking to settle down to really take some interest in me, even though I'm short. It's crazy how a short guy can still look very sexy to a taller girl or of the same height. It could be that I like to have a nice clean face while treating the skin with this girl product, so maybe that's why I look good to a girl of the same height because she's going to see my face quite often!
I think even with a guy being short, he can still command a pretty good presence from being a great host or alpha male. I don't know what it's like to be an alpha male, but it's huge and attractive to girls who first come to meet you. I might have had something like that from being older than everybody in my group and just chill about it and also from having a healthy body with a good head on my shoulders. I guess it would make sense for girls who are looking to settle down to really take some interest in me, even though I'm short. It's crazy how a short guy can still look very sexy to a taller girl or of the same height. It could be that I like to have a nice clean face while treating the skin with this girl product, so maybe that's why I look good to a girl of the same height because she's going to see my face quite often!
Traditional Way is Boring and Hard
With today's standards, the traditional way to securing high-level income is to do well at a top school after working hard to get into one. It's really boring and hard because of all the distractions that can fill up a person's mind. My parents weren't perfect at it, neither was my sister nor myself. I ended up getting a 99.99% and 100% on my first two post-graduate courses online and then after that I stopped enrolling. To get a Master's at that online school, it costs only $6,000. Wow, what a savings right along with it being an accredited school! It's so smart and I was so good at it, but then something crossed my mind, if I'm doing so well at it then why prolong the wait to work for someone, when I could do all the hard work and research to work for myself and experience all the benefits on the long run?
Honestly, if I didn't have a daytime job already then I would have kept going on my free-time while serving in the dreadful military. I'm lucky to have a job and to be working for my family. It's a luxury! Our company has been getting very successful because of our traditional model that happens to work along with happily paid employees who just have so much experience. We're an honest company that believes in hard work and machining the best parts ever!
There are other ways to get around it, and it's been hard but it's important to never stop believing and go after doing what works while being completely honest with yourself. This also means accepting how things are and then letting some things go and sticking to some things as required. Intelligence is a very valuable and attractive commodity to have. Along with being smart, maintaining an excellent healthy life with positivity among others really causes you to shine. Yeah, I'm lucky to be healthy and have nothing in my body really going wrong for me, unlike a lot of my female friends who seem to have a health condition. I think one of my nicest female friends used to be sick while growing up but now she's healthy so is very happy to enjoy company with me.
I think what causes a lot of mishaps is just people having to face stressful conditions and sometimes zoning out because of it. It's then something people just try to avoid in the future from being too overwhelming under all these other circumstances and from just wanting personal peace and stability. I guess that's why it could be common for people to practice escapism by watching their favorite TV shows or looking forward to the next big movie that's coming out. It's a very profitable art for all those intelligent and attractive participants. Basically, in order for the traditional way to work the person has to love it and just be one of the very best at it. The top people I have associated with have really no voice among their peers. The most rambunctious people who just don't seem to care about their life situation and accepting it I'm associated with talk too much and it's like I don't think they would want to be taken so seriously sometimes. I'm one of those people who is just humoring himself and it's like not really paid attention to. It's just the way it is, I guess.
Proper Business Model
I believe that my weakness is having a lack of consistency and commitment to the same old routine. A few of my friends have felt that I'm pretty good at it because I can always make myself appear to be the same person. I think that's mainly just from being transparent to them.
To go on a successful business, it requires three things so don't take out loans to support something else if you don't have the money unless it's desperate measures for your living expenses. The first step is establishing a high level income of at least a six-figure income. I sort of have that going with my programming job right now. The next step is establishing a highly scalable business. This would be something that could just keep growing and allowing you to profit. For myself, it could be going into a business of investing in stocks as hard as that seems for everybody else possibly. Thirdly, it's establishing high return upon investment.
For now, I'm just a regular computer programmer. It looks good with people and it seems like a nice portion of them think I'm really smart. I guess it's not that bad just that I'd like to make another $4000 more for my wages every month working only 40 hours a week. It's not going to come that easy for me because I'm not really that motivated to care about it.
I guess what really does motivate me than is learning to manage my own money and making trades. This is what I could call as working on for my high level skill and then turning it into a scalable business by increasing capital to invest and then getting a high return upon investment. A lot of smart business people think that 10% return in profit is ideally good. I personally think it's not bad. If my trading skills were to be so good then those criteria would be met. I'm just going to have to protect my savings a little more right now because I can't afford to just give it away or be carried away into learning other things that might not profit me in the end. It would be so fun, but I can't afford to have that much fun right now.
To go on a successful business, it requires three things so don't take out loans to support something else if you don't have the money unless it's desperate measures for your living expenses. The first step is establishing a high level income of at least a six-figure income. I sort of have that going with my programming job right now. The next step is establishing a highly scalable business. This would be something that could just keep growing and allowing you to profit. For myself, it could be going into a business of investing in stocks as hard as that seems for everybody else possibly. Thirdly, it's establishing high return upon investment.
For now, I'm just a regular computer programmer. It looks good with people and it seems like a nice portion of them think I'm really smart. I guess it's not that bad just that I'd like to make another $4000 more for my wages every month working only 40 hours a week. It's not going to come that easy for me because I'm not really that motivated to care about it.
I guess what really does motivate me than is learning to manage my own money and making trades. This is what I could call as working on for my high level skill and then turning it into a scalable business by increasing capital to invest and then getting a high return upon investment. A lot of smart business people think that 10% return in profit is ideally good. I personally think it's not bad. If my trading skills were to be so good then those criteria would be met. I'm just going to have to protect my savings a little more right now because I can't afford to just give it away or be carried away into learning other things that might not profit me in the end. It would be so fun, but I can't afford to have that much fun right now.
Friday, May 25, 2018
Understanding an Offensive Person I Know
I am able to retrace back what I did yesterday and it looks like for all the people I text and receive them from, they have been mainly only from girls who are my friends. The thought of being just a friend to a girl is something a buddy's brother can't do. He's pretty messed up in his thinking and just can't manage to make enough money to support himself and find a beautiful woman to have a deep and loving relationship with. I mean he just talks and laughs really hard about stuff and it gets me mad being around him sometimes, but I've learned to just accept it.
He's just one of those guys who just doesn't understand things fully and says that he does and when things don't happen the way he thought they would, he gets mad about it and starts saying offensive stuff to try to laugh about it behind people's backs. I've heard his comments and it's been annoying to hear his high-pitched laughter as well. Okay, I'm starting to laugh about this dude from recalling everything he's said and done around me; he's pretty much acting like a lost cause. I've been there as well, so pretty much he's been projecting a side of me and I know I've been a pain to others as well. I think he just lives off of feeling superior from offending with just his own words and in the mood for receiving that attention constantly so that he can stay motivated to work hard and say that he's better than people. It's pretty funny now that I think of it!
The way to get this type of guy off your back is to just accept it and not show much reaction by ignoring it and being successful in your own way and to build so much success and happiness. It makes this buddy's brother just feel like he's lacking in something and discouraged from offending because he knows it's not going to get through the skin. He basically doesn't want to be brushed off as someone that can't be taken seriously and it happens enough that he will just start saying stuff to draw upon negative attention and have no means of getting it done because he just isn't that smart enough. I guess you can say that he's stuck in his own selfish and delusional world from having a lack of intelligence and no interest for genuinely caring about others except for his own welfare. He has tried countlessly to win over others to do favors for him and he's happy momentarily when it's done, but that moment goes away and he's greedy for so much but can't do it himself. With his thinking, he really has nowhere to go but to have anger issues about it and act a little socially awkward.
For this type of guy, to discourage his type of mean behavior, it's not a problem to ignore him. This guy will still take it upon himself to greet you if he knows you and figures you are smarter than him and successful. I seem to have those qualities so to deal with this guy, I can just simply ignore him and he will just be discouraged to act like a jerk with me the whole time, which is what I want so I won't have a problem acknowledging him as my buddy's brother. Unfortunately with circumstances, he was born pretty dumb along with my buddy and they were just too unmotivated and couldn't invest in themselves enough to understand how the world really can work for sustaining them.
It's just the way it is and to accept it is actually pretty smart and to go about figuring it out through being motivated maintains happiness. I'm just glad that I have this spiritual ease from trusting upon the Son of God, Jesus as my king and savior. He's the rock of our salvation, along with having a vine of life that bears good fruit. Wow, I'm starting to do this Christian talk and making sense of what it means to me. In the past, they were just words I kept hearing over and over again, but now I'm understanding it better.
He's just one of those guys who just doesn't understand things fully and says that he does and when things don't happen the way he thought they would, he gets mad about it and starts saying offensive stuff to try to laugh about it behind people's backs. I've heard his comments and it's been annoying to hear his high-pitched laughter as well. Okay, I'm starting to laugh about this dude from recalling everything he's said and done around me; he's pretty much acting like a lost cause. I've been there as well, so pretty much he's been projecting a side of me and I know I've been a pain to others as well. I think he just lives off of feeling superior from offending with just his own words and in the mood for receiving that attention constantly so that he can stay motivated to work hard and say that he's better than people. It's pretty funny now that I think of it!
The way to get this type of guy off your back is to just accept it and not show much reaction by ignoring it and being successful in your own way and to build so much success and happiness. It makes this buddy's brother just feel like he's lacking in something and discouraged from offending because he knows it's not going to get through the skin. He basically doesn't want to be brushed off as someone that can't be taken seriously and it happens enough that he will just start saying stuff to draw upon negative attention and have no means of getting it done because he just isn't that smart enough. I guess you can say that he's stuck in his own selfish and delusional world from having a lack of intelligence and no interest for genuinely caring about others except for his own welfare. He has tried countlessly to win over others to do favors for him and he's happy momentarily when it's done, but that moment goes away and he's greedy for so much but can't do it himself. With his thinking, he really has nowhere to go but to have anger issues about it and act a little socially awkward.
For this type of guy, to discourage his type of mean behavior, it's not a problem to ignore him. This guy will still take it upon himself to greet you if he knows you and figures you are smarter than him and successful. I seem to have those qualities so to deal with this guy, I can just simply ignore him and he will just be discouraged to act like a jerk with me the whole time, which is what I want so I won't have a problem acknowledging him as my buddy's brother. Unfortunately with circumstances, he was born pretty dumb along with my buddy and they were just too unmotivated and couldn't invest in themselves enough to understand how the world really can work for sustaining them.
It's just the way it is and to accept it is actually pretty smart and to go about figuring it out through being motivated maintains happiness. I'm just glad that I have this spiritual ease from trusting upon the Son of God, Jesus as my king and savior. He's the rock of our salvation, along with having a vine of life that bears good fruit. Wow, I'm starting to do this Christian talk and making sense of what it means to me. In the past, they were just words I kept hearing over and over again, but now I'm understanding it better.
Thursday, May 24, 2018
Area To Be Self-disciplined
Yesterday, I ran on an excruciating 8 mile trail and it included some inclines that just don't want to stop so it forced me to slow down! Because of the difficult terrain, I ended up dropping four pounds in calories and water weight included like it was nothing. Today, I'm not really that sore and actually thinking of going for another of the same run. It's hard and makes you feel desperate at certain moments of the run and tests your patience and the body just wants to crash but you just will yourself forward. When you are finished and take the shower, it feels great! I sweated so much as well and it's like three water bottles was splashed all over me but it was just sweat.
From doing those type of runs, obviously, I should know by now where I screw up in my time management. I was surfing the web and thinking I would just do it for five minutes and slowly it became 15 minutes and then 30 minutes and stopped at two hours! I was so tired at that point, I set my alarm on accident to wake up an hour later than I usually do and I paid for it by being 40 minutes late to work. I had woken up from a bathroom dream as well and thought I had some extra sleeping time, but that should have been the moment I got ready for work.
I surfed the web under the pretense of singing and I even recorded my voice after watching bad American Idol auditions and laughed at how bad my voice was too. The judges were cracking up at the contestant and I was doing the same to myself. On certain songs though from listening to myself, it's not that bad actually. I can now see that my friends don't really react to it because it doesn't sound that bad during my karaoke sessions. It doesn't matter how much you suck at karaoke because it's normal to be bad at it.
I guess learning to sing would be one of my priorities as well but it's listed lower and I skipped out on one of my main priorities to get carried away with recording acapella for myself to listen to. Because of my tendency to take awhile and that I can get so carried away with things easy, I should just take care of my priorities first in order of precedence. If I don't finish it from being tired, then there's nothing I can do about it. I might be worn out but these goals are what I have in mind of doing for myself and it's like I should be doing it because it's good for myself.
I just want to not be stressed out from being bored out of my mind at times with the doing the same thing, but I remember at one point a few years back that I became so good at doing my main priorities that I did them fast routinely and had extra time to do other stuff. I think from that point on I became addicted to being carried away with the extra stuff. Nowadays, if I try to complete my main tasks I'm back to being slow again so it's discouraging and hard with getting it done.
If I know that I became pretty fast at it, then I should work at becoming that way again so I could complete all my level 1 to 3 priorities and then have fun playing with the girlfriend or something like that. Another situation could be that I'm investing more time into my priorities, so I may have to find other parts of the day with some downtime to complete it so I can exhaust my huge, time-consuming list.
From doing those type of runs, obviously, I should know by now where I screw up in my time management. I was surfing the web and thinking I would just do it for five minutes and slowly it became 15 minutes and then 30 minutes and stopped at two hours! I was so tired at that point, I set my alarm on accident to wake up an hour later than I usually do and I paid for it by being 40 minutes late to work. I had woken up from a bathroom dream as well and thought I had some extra sleeping time, but that should have been the moment I got ready for work.
I surfed the web under the pretense of singing and I even recorded my voice after watching bad American Idol auditions and laughed at how bad my voice was too. The judges were cracking up at the contestant and I was doing the same to myself. On certain songs though from listening to myself, it's not that bad actually. I can now see that my friends don't really react to it because it doesn't sound that bad during my karaoke sessions. It doesn't matter how much you suck at karaoke because it's normal to be bad at it.
I guess learning to sing would be one of my priorities as well but it's listed lower and I skipped out on one of my main priorities to get carried away with recording acapella for myself to listen to. Because of my tendency to take awhile and that I can get so carried away with things easy, I should just take care of my priorities first in order of precedence. If I don't finish it from being tired, then there's nothing I can do about it. I might be worn out but these goals are what I have in mind of doing for myself and it's like I should be doing it because it's good for myself.
I just want to not be stressed out from being bored out of my mind at times with the doing the same thing, but I remember at one point a few years back that I became so good at doing my main priorities that I did them fast routinely and had extra time to do other stuff. I think from that point on I became addicted to being carried away with the extra stuff. Nowadays, if I try to complete my main tasks I'm back to being slow again so it's discouraging and hard with getting it done.
If I know that I became pretty fast at it, then I should work at becoming that way again so I could complete all my level 1 to 3 priorities and then have fun playing with the girlfriend or something like that. Another situation could be that I'm investing more time into my priorities, so I may have to find other parts of the day with some downtime to complete it so I can exhaust my huge, time-consuming list.
Wednesday, May 23, 2018
Cool Times
It looks like I'm at the age where a few ladies are taking an interest with me and want to see if maybe they could settle down with me. They have been mainly Asians. On my dating app, I'm getting hit up by slightly older and overweight ladies. I don't read their messages because I don't pay for the service, but I assume they are interested in me. They all have kids too, so maybe they are looking for a second chance if I want to say it euphemistically or they are just desperate to find somebody, which is where I'm leaning at right now.
From having at least one girl interested in me for a serious relationship and also being great friends with enough girls, it's starting to get impossible to justify having my height inferiority complex! I saw today a black man who looked like he was two feet taller than me with a belly that would just do me in if he tried to eat me. He seemed like a very talkative and emotionally expressive man and it looked like a lady smiled at him or was it me because it was two of us in that building and direction she was glimpsing towards? Oh well, I guess it's possible and she looked alright and maybe she could burn off a few more pounds to make herself look super attractive!
The fact that I know and have dated ladies taller than me and are still cool with me and even for dating, man, I really need to withdraw my height inferiority complex more often because it makes me want to cry softly sometimes. The tears just start to form, but than I'm like what's up stupid and start laughing at myself and be like whatever and move on. It happens all the time for me. I think I just need to stop procrastinating much as possible and just self-motivate myself to accomplish my positive goals. It feels limitless with the stuff I can dream about doing, if I only I could gain the knowledge and time but there's only so much I can do and have to limit myself from getting carried away with fun stuff that don't really pertain to those goals.
I guess this is what makes us human and a lot of kids were like wow, how did you keep on getting A's when I was in school? It was because I smacked myself a lot while studying and feeling sad that I wasn't getting it, so I ended up getting perfect scores! They are like, oh you are so smart- not really, if I had to smack myself to make it happen. I'm not going to smack myself like an idiot as a 34 year old adult- it's just preposterous! I need to find another lighter method now and communicating this stuff with girls seem to have a positive effect on them too.
From having at least one girl interested in me for a serious relationship and also being great friends with enough girls, it's starting to get impossible to justify having my height inferiority complex! I saw today a black man who looked like he was two feet taller than me with a belly that would just do me in if he tried to eat me. He seemed like a very talkative and emotionally expressive man and it looked like a lady smiled at him or was it me because it was two of us in that building and direction she was glimpsing towards? Oh well, I guess it's possible and she looked alright and maybe she could burn off a few more pounds to make herself look super attractive!
The fact that I know and have dated ladies taller than me and are still cool with me and even for dating, man, I really need to withdraw my height inferiority complex more often because it makes me want to cry softly sometimes. The tears just start to form, but than I'm like what's up stupid and start laughing at myself and be like whatever and move on. It happens all the time for me. I think I just need to stop procrastinating much as possible and just self-motivate myself to accomplish my positive goals. It feels limitless with the stuff I can dream about doing, if I only I could gain the knowledge and time but there's only so much I can do and have to limit myself from getting carried away with fun stuff that don't really pertain to those goals.
I guess this is what makes us human and a lot of kids were like wow, how did you keep on getting A's when I was in school? It was because I smacked myself a lot while studying and feeling sad that I wasn't getting it, so I ended up getting perfect scores! They are like, oh you are so smart- not really, if I had to smack myself to make it happen. I'm not going to smack myself like an idiot as a 34 year old adult- it's just preposterous! I need to find another lighter method now and communicating this stuff with girls seem to have a positive effect on them too.
Attractive Qualities To Girls
I'm going to try to keep this one short. Mainly, it's about being completely honest, trying to play it cool when situations get heated, and accepting how things are. These three things are extremely hard to do and I think plenty of guys who are failures don't know how to get it done. I've done enough of it, so I know it works with ladies!
Basically, if you are fully honest with presenting who you are and the lady blows you off then you need to work on yourself if that gets tiring. If the girl you like ends up going on a date with you and won't give you a nice hug at the end of the date and says she's interested in you which is driving you crazy, then if you are still attracted to her, you have to accept it! I'm talking about a female friend's ex who had this issue. My lady friend has been very slow moving when it comes to relationships and has other priorities so her ex was going crazy and he ended up making my friend mad so she broke it off with him. I guess her ex would need to work on himself if this friend is actually his type!
Basically, if you are fully honest with presenting who you are and the lady blows you off then you need to work on yourself if that gets tiring. If the girl you like ends up going on a date with you and won't give you a nice hug at the end of the date and says she's interested in you which is driving you crazy, then if you are still attracted to her, you have to accept it! I'm talking about a female friend's ex who had this issue. My lady friend has been very slow moving when it comes to relationships and has other priorities so her ex was going crazy and he ended up making my friend mad so she broke it off with him. I guess her ex would need to work on himself if this friend is actually his type!
Awesome Friendships
Being friends with nice ladies is definitely a blessing! They are all single and Asian and each of them seem to have this slight health issue about them. I was shy about making friends with taller ladies, so most of them are about an inch shorter than me, so that was the best I could do on average with making friends with girls shorter than me. I'm 5' 3" and Asian girls being considered shorter than me on average in America may not even be that true.
The fact that I have what people can consider a liability with being so short as a natural man, but maybe not so much in the eyes of being an Asian, friends have been like get a girlfriend to me while I have been suffering from a height inferiority complex. I'm pretty straight up with my lady friends and they don't think of me as nasty, weird, or anything of that sort so I guess I might be fine then if I stick to marrying a shorter Asian girl, who might have a health issue because she tends to be so tiny!
I honestly believe that Asian girls who are around my height or little taller may actually be lucky to be born with a healthy body assuming that they maintain themselves through proper diet, exercise, and positive life-style choices. I'm a healthy body for being a short man, so this seems to weigh in having some influence with others while including my mannerisms if I manage to keep them nice in not really minding me so much with being lucky as well. I think they just ignore me because I'm outside the norm- a short man who is physically more fit than a girl's taller husband and makes more money and doesn't look too bad in a suit. Yeah, just from being short and having all of this going for me; well, I can see that they will put me on ignore because I don't fit their model of how a short guy was supposed to turn out.
The fact that I have what people can consider a liability with being so short as a natural man, but maybe not so much in the eyes of being an Asian, friends have been like get a girlfriend to me while I have been suffering from a height inferiority complex. I'm pretty straight up with my lady friends and they don't think of me as nasty, weird, or anything of that sort so I guess I might be fine then if I stick to marrying a shorter Asian girl, who might have a health issue because she tends to be so tiny!
I honestly believe that Asian girls who are around my height or little taller may actually be lucky to be born with a healthy body assuming that they maintain themselves through proper diet, exercise, and positive life-style choices. I'm a healthy body for being a short man, so this seems to weigh in having some influence with others while including my mannerisms if I manage to keep them nice in not really minding me so much with being lucky as well. I think they just ignore me because I'm outside the norm- a short man who is physically more fit than a girl's taller husband and makes more money and doesn't look too bad in a suit. Yeah, just from being short and having all of this going for me; well, I can see that they will put me on ignore because I don't fit their model of how a short guy was supposed to turn out.
Living Expenses Issue
Right now with my job, I barely have enough to keep up and it's just that with gas prices being so high, I'm spending so much on it. Being a Californian, gas prices are about $4.00 a gallon and that's paying a lot because my car is a gas guzzler. I use the highest performance gas because my car is an old muscle car plus convertible, but I get around 17 miles per gallon on average which I figure isn't that bad for a 8-cylinder good-looking mustang!
I still enjoy driving my car after all these years I've had and want to hang on to it. It could sure use some upgrades I have in mind, but only if I could find someone to do that for me or I just happen to be lucky to have so much time on my hands to figure it out on my own. Maybe I could build my own electrical sports car someday and have it registered with the state so I can legally drive on the car pool lanes by myself!
Because of these gas prices and my tendency to drive around everywhere and too often, it's piling up to regularly $2000 of expenses of every two weeks! I'm only kidding about putting in that much gas but it's from also including my other living expenses and spending it to acquire cool gadgets like expensive running shoes that cost me $300 or even paying for extra storage space and stuff to maintain a decent appearance which includes healthy but expensive food. It sucks to pay rent and not own my house yet either.
I need to do something about this $4000 monthly price tag. I make more money than that in wages, but close to a third is being taken away for income tax purposes which is insane. I wish I had a take home pay of close to like $10,000 every two weeks so I wouldn't be sweating so much about my normal purchasing activity and maybe then I would be able to afford a luxury home as well with how I'm still living.
I still enjoy driving my car after all these years I've had and want to hang on to it. It could sure use some upgrades I have in mind, but only if I could find someone to do that for me or I just happen to be lucky to have so much time on my hands to figure it out on my own. Maybe I could build my own electrical sports car someday and have it registered with the state so I can legally drive on the car pool lanes by myself!
Because of these gas prices and my tendency to drive around everywhere and too often, it's piling up to regularly $2000 of expenses of every two weeks! I'm only kidding about putting in that much gas but it's from also including my other living expenses and spending it to acquire cool gadgets like expensive running shoes that cost me $300 or even paying for extra storage space and stuff to maintain a decent appearance which includes healthy but expensive food. It sucks to pay rent and not own my house yet either.
I need to do something about this $4000 monthly price tag. I make more money than that in wages, but close to a third is being taken away for income tax purposes which is insane. I wish I had a take home pay of close to like $10,000 every two weeks so I wouldn't be sweating so much about my normal purchasing activity and maybe then I would be able to afford a luxury home as well with how I'm still living.
Tuesday, May 22, 2018
Working With No Support
To be lucky after struggling so hard and trying so much to get there, it becomes easier for others to support that person. I myself am not there yet for my personal expectations and as of this moment, some people who don't know me would probably just ignore it and focus on themselves like it usually is. I guess I'm around individuals who might be bothered about stuff and not really on top of things with everything. A very successful and happy individual is so few to recognize maybe even among thousands and I only know hundreds of people. I can see that I haven't reached out and met enough people.
I guess I made a bad investment in few individuals and that shaped me in a negative direction. To find myself climb back out of it, I'm now 34. A friend who told me the same thing happening to her is 27 and I believe it's very mature to recognize it at that age. Well, a common saying in the world is that women mature faster than men.
From being a lady, my friend gets so much support and admirers from guys who want to shag her but when I'm around her, it seems like guys back off and they assume we are an item. I'm like whatever but okay and it seems like she doesn't mind guys staying off of her because she sees me like a big brother. I have this little expectation to share my experience and even be a physical line of defense for her!
From being a guy, I get practically zilch in my support bank and the stuff that amuses me won't reach the masses. It's just for a few individuals to like and sometimes a couple successful and pretty ladies who might me dig me just once and then back off. It's cool to get that actually, but I know that I won't have any chance with her because of my lackadaisical effort to go out of my way to try to meet her.
I guess I made a bad investment in few individuals and that shaped me in a negative direction. To find myself climb back out of it, I'm now 34. A friend who told me the same thing happening to her is 27 and I believe it's very mature to recognize it at that age. Well, a common saying in the world is that women mature faster than men.
From being a lady, my friend gets so much support and admirers from guys who want to shag her but when I'm around her, it seems like guys back off and they assume we are an item. I'm like whatever but okay and it seems like she doesn't mind guys staying off of her because she sees me like a big brother. I have this little expectation to share my experience and even be a physical line of defense for her!
From being a guy, I get practically zilch in my support bank and the stuff that amuses me won't reach the masses. It's just for a few individuals to like and sometimes a couple successful and pretty ladies who might me dig me just once and then back off. It's cool to get that actually, but I know that I won't have any chance with her because of my lackadaisical effort to go out of my way to try to meet her.
Preparing For Signifcant Relationship
I find it to be annoying to be asked by friends and even my own mom about my relationship status. I'm single and when I tell them that, they are like why not go for finding a girlfriend and getting married. I just haven't made time for that yet and from having lot of distractions which they can't seem to understand and then they think I'm being dumb because I can't do it. I get so agitated by it that I end up firing back and making fun of them sometimes, except for my loving uncle. He's like go to a church and find a lovely Korean girl. I'm like I'm not in the church to find love but to develop a better connection with God.
They make it seem so important with making it happen, but I only see it as something to do on the side for myself right now. Maybe it's because I'm selfishly living for myself with no girlfriend and it just drives my mom crazy and she starts saying stuff that don't make sense and I end up just saying the ugly truth I personally see with her each time. My mom has sort of tried to amend her ways thinking that maybe this would appease me to reconsider, but I think she's just trying to be a more accepting person these days like myself.
I think I've mentioned that I did have some interests but it just didn't work out because I didn't feel comfortable about something or maybe, it's just that those girls were already in a relationship. I don't want to try to wait on her and see what happens and just move on. It has still hurt though and then to read up on negative comments about how not having a certain look or natural appeal to a general lady, it ends up even making me lack more in confidence for making it happen.
Overall, I have figured out the solution and I'm sure I can make a relationship with any lucky girl work if I wanted to but I just don't want it to be any girl! I'm comfortable with how I'm going about it right now and having a few ladies as friends who message me regularly feels great for my confidence. I don't mind staying picky and this bothers a few guys I have mentioned it to. Well, I did try a dating app and got no responses with any of the pretty good looking girls on it so I guess I really have more to work on for myself and think I'll have to meet them in person to see how they are like and if they just have this personality I like about them then might as well ask them out.
They make it seem so important with making it happen, but I only see it as something to do on the side for myself right now. Maybe it's because I'm selfishly living for myself with no girlfriend and it just drives my mom crazy and she starts saying stuff that don't make sense and I end up just saying the ugly truth I personally see with her each time. My mom has sort of tried to amend her ways thinking that maybe this would appease me to reconsider, but I think she's just trying to be a more accepting person these days like myself.
I think I've mentioned that I did have some interests but it just didn't work out because I didn't feel comfortable about something or maybe, it's just that those girls were already in a relationship. I don't want to try to wait on her and see what happens and just move on. It has still hurt though and then to read up on negative comments about how not having a certain look or natural appeal to a general lady, it ends up even making me lack more in confidence for making it happen.
Overall, I have figured out the solution and I'm sure I can make a relationship with any lucky girl work if I wanted to but I just don't want it to be any girl! I'm comfortable with how I'm going about it right now and having a few ladies as friends who message me regularly feels great for my confidence. I don't mind staying picky and this bothers a few guys I have mentioned it to. Well, I did try a dating app and got no responses with any of the pretty good looking girls on it so I guess I really have more to work on for myself and think I'll have to meet them in person to see how they are like and if they just have this personality I like about them then might as well ask them out.
Working On Self
With this whole surfing the Internet thing and hoping to find a lady I could be comfortable marrying someday, I'm just going to have to let some of that curiosity go because it could lead me into some trouble that could be distressing. Like, I wouldn't want to have a strong enough curiosity to do evil things and see what would happen. It just isn't right!
It's tempting but watching T.V. for entertaining aspects isn't really going to do much for me. I think even trying to watch educational shows isn't that great either for me. I would probably do a lot better from doing stuff in the outside world, rather than staying indoors and trying to meet the right people to assist me in where I'm directing myself to.
I really believe that I need to continue working on myself and reaching contentment on a daily basis as a routine. There are so many pitfalls that I still struggle with on a daily basis, but it's just mainly from being tired so there's nothing I can do about that. I guess while I'm tired I should be still trying so I wouldn't feel bad when I'm up bright and early the next day! It's also from having like this superficial and clingy attitude with entertaining subjects that I should trade it in for maintaining or developing myself.
It's tempting but watching T.V. for entertaining aspects isn't really going to do much for me. I think even trying to watch educational shows isn't that great either for me. I would probably do a lot better from doing stuff in the outside world, rather than staying indoors and trying to meet the right people to assist me in where I'm directing myself to.
I really believe that I need to continue working on myself and reaching contentment on a daily basis as a routine. There are so many pitfalls that I still struggle with on a daily basis, but it's just mainly from being tired so there's nothing I can do about that. I guess while I'm tired I should be still trying so I wouldn't feel bad when I'm up bright and early the next day! It's also from having like this superficial and clingy attitude with entertaining subjects that I should trade it in for maintaining or developing myself.
Personality Flaws
I guess a lot of it has to do with what one would personally expect out of him or herself and then seeing if those goals are being met. It's very difficult and is like at certain points or maybe for awhile, it would be like feeling numb to everything and just doing it for going along with the flow. More often than not, it could bring a person down if this expectation also has a certain time frame because life isn't always going to roll along smoothly like that. It's the truth and possibly thinking in a different matter is going to be important to ensure a successful outcome.
Life is just filled with so many distractions that cater to this individualism of feeling lost and seeking to be entertained to just fill the nights. Man, it can get boring sometimes and I just don't know how people just can manage to stand it. It's depressing to sit there watching episodes and then to get the dreaded re-runs! I guess since television is catered to the general audience and those TV companies want to make money off of them, they would coyly make the user feel like he or she is in power and can judge which is the best show. It's just how it's always been and the content that's being presented took a lot of preparation and money, so it would have to be this entertaining material that investors would be able to profit off the masses.
I guess it's just about getting carried away that can happen and then it leads to so much time being lost from being exposed to this clingy subject or matter and out of that, it naturally can lead to a comfortable living for the author of it. We definitely have the right to choose what to be supportive of in the end and for whatever reasons. It's just that sometimes our hearts might be too weak to stay resilient and we end up giving up something that's important especially our time and feeling sheepish about it. I really don't regret the money and planning I put into it last week to enjoy a weekend hiking trip with a friend. It was an excellent rush and totally enlightening.
Life is just filled with so many distractions that cater to this individualism of feeling lost and seeking to be entertained to just fill the nights. Man, it can get boring sometimes and I just don't know how people just can manage to stand it. It's depressing to sit there watching episodes and then to get the dreaded re-runs! I guess since television is catered to the general audience and those TV companies want to make money off of them, they would coyly make the user feel like he or she is in power and can judge which is the best show. It's just how it's always been and the content that's being presented took a lot of preparation and money, so it would have to be this entertaining material that investors would be able to profit off the masses.
I guess it's just about getting carried away that can happen and then it leads to so much time being lost from being exposed to this clingy subject or matter and out of that, it naturally can lead to a comfortable living for the author of it. We definitely have the right to choose what to be supportive of in the end and for whatever reasons. It's just that sometimes our hearts might be too weak to stay resilient and we end up giving up something that's important especially our time and feeling sheepish about it. I really don't regret the money and planning I put into it last week to enjoy a weekend hiking trip with a friend. It was an excellent rush and totally enlightening.
Wednesday, May 16, 2018
Hey, Finally A Chance To Lead A Girl!
Hey, I finally have a chance to lead the same girl for weeks with different events that we agree to do! She's like my traveling buddy in the form of like a sister and the only relation we have is that we have common interests and are budding really well from that. Anything can happen, but I don't think I fit her preferences of how I look and she's still at that age where she might slowly be letting that go too. Okay, then I think it's just preferences then if there's anything romantic that's going to happen but I think she just wants me around so she can hang with a guy she really trusts.
Her younger sister is still quite a mess, but is willing to do most fun stuff with me. She always has fun and likes to invite other friends as well. I'm open to that. She's trying to get me in a relationship with a cute girl and believes I can land a very hot girlfriend someday. Hey, I like the confidence she has with me!
Basically hanging out with girls, I'm getting introduced to several girls from being really good friends with them and they are open to helping me find a great girl who I can settle down with! Those female friends are single and pursued after but I haven't really acted in that manner. I guess it's something that's just been naturally set in stone for me to eventually meet the right one, thank God.
Her younger sister is still quite a mess, but is willing to do most fun stuff with me. She always has fun and likes to invite other friends as well. I'm open to that. She's trying to get me in a relationship with a cute girl and believes I can land a very hot girlfriend someday. Hey, I like the confidence she has with me!
Basically hanging out with girls, I'm getting introduced to several girls from being really good friends with them and they are open to helping me find a great girl who I can settle down with! Those female friends are single and pursued after but I haven't really acted in that manner. I guess it's something that's just been naturally set in stone for me to eventually meet the right one, thank God.
Tuesday, May 15, 2018
Financial Success With Reach
I believe that I have found my main source of information and from having tested it, I want to commit to its philosophical methodology. It has all the tools I need and is just going to take some daily practice for what I want to accomplish. I'm going to withhold from revealing it because I don't want others to take advantage of it as well. If anybody wants to be successful with it, then he or she is going to have to put the work and time into studying it as well. It's not easy at all and can be very baffling, so it's only meant for people who were born to find out about it.
I don't even want to teach people either about it and be involved with anybody else in my own business. I'll just manage my own business affairs so I can be the one who reaps all the profit. It's a very unique setup that is practically my own style. I'm glad that I finally stumbled upon the right source and it took years of trying to practice it while being in the dark. I guess that's why some people in the message boards have stated that a good majority will give up when they were already within cusp of greatness. I pretty much see the light at the end of the tunnel now and excited about keeping myself moving to reach it. I guess anybody can call it luck, but I don't think I'll be talking much about my success if I get so good at it because I would rather keep that under wraps.
Maybe just family and friends will know what I do on the surface, but I'm not going for passing knowledge on this. I will however diversify my portfolio a little and attempt to break into other useful stuff to pass off my time if I became so successful that I don't need to work. Why not do something to profit even greater and have fun with something cool afterwards? This would mean that I can socialize with like-minded people to have fun and possibly make a little more money. It will be like giving back from being blessed to people to I care about and are willing to work hard for their money.
I wouldn't want politicians telling me where I should put my money and with them wanting to raise taxes to support their efforts to solve problems. I have lost faith in them long ago. The conservatives who care about minimizing taxes and implementing cost effective strategies are the honest ones that I would love to keep in office. I think overall, I'll put my money into charities that mean so much to me so that I wouldn't have to be taxed and forced into a political scheme that I would have no interest in.
I don't even want to teach people either about it and be involved with anybody else in my own business. I'll just manage my own business affairs so I can be the one who reaps all the profit. It's a very unique setup that is practically my own style. I'm glad that I finally stumbled upon the right source and it took years of trying to practice it while being in the dark. I guess that's why some people in the message boards have stated that a good majority will give up when they were already within cusp of greatness. I pretty much see the light at the end of the tunnel now and excited about keeping myself moving to reach it. I guess anybody can call it luck, but I don't think I'll be talking much about my success if I get so good at it because I would rather keep that under wraps.
Maybe just family and friends will know what I do on the surface, but I'm not going for passing knowledge on this. I will however diversify my portfolio a little and attempt to break into other useful stuff to pass off my time if I became so successful that I don't need to work. Why not do something to profit even greater and have fun with something cool afterwards? This would mean that I can socialize with like-minded people to have fun and possibly make a little more money. It will be like giving back from being blessed to people to I care about and are willing to work hard for their money.
I wouldn't want politicians telling me where I should put my money and with them wanting to raise taxes to support their efforts to solve problems. I have lost faith in them long ago. The conservatives who care about minimizing taxes and implementing cost effective strategies are the honest ones that I would love to keep in office. I think overall, I'll put my money into charities that mean so much to me so that I wouldn't have to be taxed and forced into a political scheme that I would have no interest in.
Sunday, May 13, 2018
Happy Mother's Day
There's really not much to say on this title, so I don't know why I even bothered to write it. I'm going to roll with it and see where it takes me. I would like to be a son that would make my mom happy, but I don't act that way at all for her! It's because I still bear a grudge for how she mishandled a bad situation with me and started going off crazy with me and just yelling. I still didn't change for her back then, but that memory really drives me crazy but only a little now.
My mom wasn't perfect by any means and really ticked me off a lot for how she raised me, so I don't want to behave that way with my own kids. I remember having a discussion with a Bible teacher in Sunday school and she started mentioning how kids can grow up to behave like their own parents. Umm yeah, my mom's style of parenting isn't mine and you don't have to count on it! I think the main reason a lot of girls tell me is that it's because I'm a guy.
I feel bad for a buddy. He's not that smart and can start thinking a little crazy while being afraid to do anything about it. He's living with his mom and has had no real job for a few years and doesn't want to find any job from thinking it's stressful and is already 34 years old, yikes! He even complains about what he's trying to study to become, an artist. Well there's one thing I regrettably introduced him to and that's the professional card playing game Magic: the Gathering. He doesn't have what it takes to go pro and he's wasting his time from consistently playing it and not talking about his losses and boasting about his wins. He loses a lot more than he wins, so he brags a lot about it when he does! I feel sorry for introducing him to this game because he's hooked and doesn't want to do anything else, but win and make money and have it come to him easy. He just isn't that smart to make that happen and I mean he can put in a lot of effort, but he still misses some obvious key steps and then he just stubbornly dismisses them while thinking that he's better than most people. Yeah, I told him that I'm not helping him anymore mainly because I give up and his mannerism isn't helping at all for me with it being so annoying!
My mom wasn't perfect by any means and really ticked me off a lot for how she raised me, so I don't want to behave that way with my own kids. I remember having a discussion with a Bible teacher in Sunday school and she started mentioning how kids can grow up to behave like their own parents. Umm yeah, my mom's style of parenting isn't mine and you don't have to count on it! I think the main reason a lot of girls tell me is that it's because I'm a guy.
I feel bad for a buddy. He's not that smart and can start thinking a little crazy while being afraid to do anything about it. He's living with his mom and has had no real job for a few years and doesn't want to find any job from thinking it's stressful and is already 34 years old, yikes! He even complains about what he's trying to study to become, an artist. Well there's one thing I regrettably introduced him to and that's the professional card playing game Magic: the Gathering. He doesn't have what it takes to go pro and he's wasting his time from consistently playing it and not talking about his losses and boasting about his wins. He loses a lot more than he wins, so he brags a lot about it when he does! I feel sorry for introducing him to this game because he's hooked and doesn't want to do anything else, but win and make money and have it come to him easy. He just isn't that smart to make that happen and I mean he can put in a lot of effort, but he still misses some obvious key steps and then he just stubbornly dismisses them while thinking that he's better than most people. Yeah, I told him that I'm not helping him anymore mainly because I give up and his mannerism isn't helping at all for me with it being so annoying!
What Remains
The Bible mentions there are three things that will remain: faith, love, and hope and the greatest of these is love. Thinking about it God is eternal and will always be here and He knows exactly how the future will play out. God's main attribute is love and God is undeniably perfect with His ways and for reasons that I cannot see. His ways are higher than mine and that's in Proverbs I believe. It would make sense then a verse says God is love!
What remains for me in a human point of view is that things will just keep on moving forward even after I'm no longer living. I will be replaced by another and my personality will eventually be forgotten by everybody on this planet. It's just how life is. Is it depressing to me? I have learned to accept it so I don't need to go crying or complaining about it while yelling like an angry bird!
I would like to live my life for things that are absolutely worthwhile now. People aren't really going to be that way 100%, but God commands that I shouldn't go tell off Lee and her weird gang at her church with a "Go screw yourselves!" I will be obedient to the Lord, even during my rough times. The Lord's principles found in the Bible are infallible and trustworthy and praise worthy!
What remains for me in a human point of view is that things will just keep on moving forward even after I'm no longer living. I will be replaced by another and my personality will eventually be forgotten by everybody on this planet. It's just how life is. Is it depressing to me? I have learned to accept it so I don't need to go crying or complaining about it while yelling like an angry bird!
I would like to live my life for things that are absolutely worthwhile now. People aren't really going to be that way 100%, but God commands that I shouldn't go tell off Lee and her weird gang at her church with a "Go screw yourselves!" I will be obedient to the Lord, even during my rough times. The Lord's principles found in the Bible are infallible and trustworthy and praise worthy!
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