Managing Emotions

I have had a tough time understanding my emotions, and how to relate it with people. I am not sure why one day, but I just felt bad if people rejected my offer of hanging out. I guess I lacked a lot of purpose with doing things and felt bad about wanting the things that I needed. I have had really good friends go out with me by taking granted for them. One of the weirdest things for me is that I can really hold back aggression for awhile, until I need to let it out. I just need to manage my emotions a whole heck of a lot better and be myself. It's pretty cool that I incorporate manners a lot and can feel a little zoned out with people, at times. I guess it's learning to forgive through my sensitivity. It's had some tolls on me, but I think I'll be fine. In a way, writing to a people who I hardly knew at the time seemed like a great experiment to see where I stand. It becomes very tough to stand for what's right when one gets totally angry. On the other hand, if you feel victimized and so guilty about everything and then relent by destroying your own personality because of a misunderstanding then that can be really hard to deal with. It takes a lot of emotional balance to deal with these situations.

I don't know where I really left off, but I guess I decided to be considerate to everyone. I think venting my thoughts through writing and feeling nervous about the reception was a great way for me to grow. It's been part of my identity, as I have been accustomed to doing these things. My mom and neighbor have told me to not to take these things so seriously. I guess having just a tad of frustration is good enough for me because I don't seem to go super crazy when venting in person, whether writing or statement. I do not believe in cursing out someone. I do not even know what's going on fully through a person's head and so I need feedback from these people who can get bad moods. What a tough realization! I don't really care anymore whether it's going to be negative or positive. I need to try to look at things where logically and reason it out with these people, even while I'm angry. I need to always be considerate, even while I'm angry. I just have to be assertive and allow myself to be more laid back.