Writing is a great way for me to unload. Maybe people may be feeling like I've lost base with them through writing in like, hey, "You are ignoring me." In actuality, I am trying to give real effort in being considerate and letting them know what I don't like about them. It's amazing because I can actually live through the hardships and have to always feel left out. I really do have private feelings that I do not want to publicly address. It seems to be abusive to my soul to write things that I would rather keep to myself. I think sharing is really important, and knowing that I'm pretty good against emotional arguments, I probably could set an agenda while being completely honest.
The problem that I had in the past was that I would be too sensitive about everything. I would take it so personal, like things would all fall on me with a burden that was too hard for me to deal with. What I am starting to realize is that if I develop good faith in a person, then he or she will react positively with me. It takes a lot of focus and practice to gain a total understanding. To be willing to work through the pressures, anger, attractions, anxieties, and compassion. For me, I really enjoy being filled with an emotion that has regard for others. It feels good to do something about it and put the person at ease. I am going through a lot of trials, and it's so important for me to not lose it. I know that certain types of people can understand my drives, but as I am becoming more conservative and relaxed, I don't need to feel bad about everything. I am armed with a mouth of all types of reason- emotional and physical. I have to see passed through it- I'm like thinking that life deals with marriage. I truly have nothing against guys marrying women I like; I'm happy for them and wish them well and will pray for their success. I believe in honoring a person's marriage to a very high standard.
The only real problem is that I sometimes conceive myself as being short. Well, I do have a mouth and if I want to help then I just need to holler. People don't seem to barge in all of a sudden and just say that I can't do something. I think I've attracted taller women without a problem, which is a total bonus! I am so serious; one time, I received a highly enthused call about hanging out with two, unrelated beautiful believers at separate times. I think it was from putting up a positive attitude at a car dealership not doing so well and making a courtesy call for them to come down. It's baby making season! Oh yeah, and I happen to be around the corner. I just need to stop being so stupid with thinking that I'm short. I have to deal with these insignificant emotions and let it get out of my system. I have a very large testosterone build-up that wants to be engaged only in marriage and causes me to want to be there for the woman of my life. I know who she is, and I hope she can make me the most fortunate man in the world. I'm not the greatest individual out there and so I can understand if passions ensue elsewhere in the end. However, I want to really know her and do the things she likes doing and so God will be still great no matter we form a family or not. I now feel blessed to have received this calling to marry.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
