Today, life is good. I think that I have a lot of good people in my life. Sometimes, it's hard to reflect on what life is all about. I guess when you are so deep down nervous inside and then you feel like people are starting to harass you, it's a really hard thing to stay calm inside. Hmm, no wonder they think you would need to get some professional help. They pretty much would rather focus on providing very bad advice.

I also realize that you don't have all the time in the world. You need to prioritize. Some people are about money. I don't think these people are really doing something that's all that great. Some people are all about themselves. I don't think being selfish and closed off from the world gives you a meaningful life. I think just spending even at least 5 minutes a day on something, could equate to a year. The power of consistency in the time you give into something is so vital and should be a discipline.

Just imagine sleeping in about 8 hours. That only leaves 16 hours to get your stuff in. People who are overly invested could spend like 12 hours on something. That only leaves like 4 hours to do stuff. Hmm, being overly patient and super-slow could be a burden in some cases. It's best to have great concentration and focus. Having some truly close friends to spend time with is very meaningful and vital.

Today, I'm starting to realize that having personal complaints about insignificant things is not really going to take you anywhere. It's best to take heart about any area of discomfort and to live with what you think would be great to go your way. It's probably best not to really involve yourself with some people in certain areas of your life.

The heart is a wicked and deceitful thing. Yes, I know how bad of a person I can be and how my sins are really evil and make me fall apart. I want to continuously remind myself that it's about relying on God for all my needs and that I cannot do it on my own. Sure, I have desires just like anybody else. I want to make myself grow taller, still. Yeesh! I want to make some muscles and get some money to live pretty comfortably. Having these things in possession is still not enough to get the perfect girl. The perfect girl just loves you for who you are. Just by giving effort, sometimes you just can't expect it to go your way. You just have to learn to let some things go.

It's all thanks to Jesus that I want to give it all I have to be in a loving sensitive manner, even when I'm really frustrated at someone I know and just want to say things all over the place.

Today, I'm just in the mood for reading another book for studying about computers. I have been failing to manage my time properly. I have played this Star Wars game for a long time.

Over the last couple months, I totally understand what my problem was and that there's nothing I could do about it to change how others want to think about me. However, I'm feeling really angry inside and want to do something about it. I just want to give a full expression of myself to state what I need to say. I totally believe in expressing love in a sensitive manner, even while I'm in this pain. I just totally want to get rid of it right now. I need to be extremely patient right now because people can misunderstand you, no matter how much they say they know you.

Yesterday, I went to the library to study. It's a really cool building and although a lot of grown-ups find it boring to be at just a library, I find it to be a pretty remarkable place. They have some romantic settings over there and a fun area where these statues resembling seals shoot out water at any youngsters who dare challenge its crossfires. The building complex has a lot of really visually cool things made out of computers. They even have this aquarium that features a bambino shark- I recognize the species from having touched it at a feeding pool in a large aquarium. At the top floor, they call it the skyline floor and out of curiosity, the floor was made open to the public. I decided to check it out, as they were playing the original Neverending Story. Not bad to encourage youngsters to read a boook and share a part of the authors' imaginations.

I finally learned to bowl yesterday too at about 18 MPH top speed with a 14 pound ball. It makes a loud popping noise with the pins and something I could feel proud about. I basically did it by mimicking this really huge old-timer's form which just kept on getting strikes.

Man, I'm just so brought low today again. I need to basically repent and focus on something. I have a job that I am trying to apply for right now. I have been waiting for about a month already for this job position, but have not received any calls or mail yet.

I want to work really hard in this world and never give in to anything bad. The problem starts with the person first and then migrates to the situation. I'm going to make a promise to God. I will be the very best that I can be no matter how much I suffer for doing it. I'm pretty good at studying, I should not really have any problems in expressing myself. This is a really hard situation laid out on me.

Sometimes things in life are out there to basically frustrate you. These moments are very difficult to deal with. The Bible says to abide in the father and to love God to the fullest expectations of the Scriptures. I'm working on something that deals specifically with people. I have not done anything wrong, but the people who are against me do not see the wrong that they have done. I guess this is a very typical thing for them to do. In my fullness of anger, I do not want to express myself by writing to them. I don't even want to remotely have anything related to them. I guess it's about not doing anything bad no matter what.

There are some things that I want to reveal to the world. I'm not going to reveal the bad parts of myself to keep that a secret. I know what they are and I am going to work on preventing them so that I don't have to face the bad music anymore, if I ever get in that situation. I am a really sensitive type person who really cares about not offending others. Through this, I'm hoping to get a reasonable truce with everyone in this world. This does not deal with any religious experiences. It's just who I am.

The good parts about me is that I know how to study hard. I know how to be patient under feeling a lot of pressure. I can feel depressed but still have the will to fight on no matter what happens to me. I really hate feeling angry and feeling pain underneath all the time. It's an addiction for me to do something to cope with it, by attacking the problem. The problem I have right now is with some people. It is really frustrating that they don't want to side with my conclusions. Almost everybody has the will to laugh when I put this, the main problem I have right now is with my little sister who just graduated college. She's such a pain and does not want to do things with me or agree with me. It is just so frustrating. She thinks I have an infatuation problem with her...err, that makes me feel really mad that she would comment on me like that. There are so many beautiful people out there...why would I want to lay my eyes on her like that? I still imagine the little ugly girl in her who she was while growing up. I seriously hate the idea of having to yell at my little sister when she constantly talks to me with an attitude problem. All this anger that's running through me makes me want to distance myself from her!

Let's see if this pushes anything. Jean, my sister, does not want to put me on Facebook. She says that she does not care that I called her selfish and that she admits to not wanting to get along with me. She says that I am a very bad brother and that she would press charges if I wrote this about her on my blog.

I don't really care about this post. I'm just trying to see something. I'll take this post off.

Sometimes, the inevitable has to happen no matter how nervous one can get. When this occurs, I think the wise man needs to play a huge role in what he wants to obtain. A lot of perceptions go around all the time and sometimes even with the slightest fluctuations of how a person acts, it can be so misinterpreted.

I think there are some crazy people around me right now, but I'm not going to mention who. I would rather treat them with a good remedy in person.

Life is not really as it is if people start giving you a hard time and you backfire on them with something nonviolent. That's really hard to deal with. There are sometimes breaks in a relationship that occur no matter how hard you try to avoid it. Suffering can still take place in this area. It's all about learning to let go through a forgiving attitude and be willing to accept the truth through the ears of others first before implanting them with your own opinions.

I've had situations where I would get really short-fused with others and filled with adrenaline because I seriously did no harm to them. I would then avoid them for long periods of time.

Sometimes in life, you just need to learn to let go. This is what I want to do. I want to just move on with my life now. I don't need to justify anything I have done. I just want to be still this time around.

Hard hidden lesson

This is something that I have picked up now. It's okay if people think you are having a hard time, and they want to help you by giving you advice. I say try to accommodate them by following their advice as close as possible. Maybe your image will be affected in a bad manner to some people. I still do not think it hurts to really listen to people. I think it just means dying to yourself. It deals with the length of time that they ask of you. It's really hard to be patient if you want to things your way. I guess in life, sometimes things are not supposed to go your way. I now see that I need to live my life submitting to people who really want to help and trusting them and be ready to forgive them all at the same time. As long as you are submitting to them in all respect, I think there's something called negotiation. I don't think I will have the need to mess up in this area anymore with people in my life. Just speak up boy and be ready to commit to others' needs and wishes. I'm ready to do this without getting any professional help.

5 year old trumpet player

It's really amazing how he plays it. It like comes across as so natural for him. I've played the trumpet all my life, and my high school band teacher was like complaining that I would pinch on the horn so much. He switched me over to a low brass instrument, the euphonium. The horn was like a nightmare for me. It gave me low marks on my college days.

http://www.trumpetherald.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=84937

Pretty Bored

I write so much and it pretty much is a waste of time for others to look at. I don't really mind now that I stay away from some of that naughty stuff that offends a lot of people on the internet. I'm starting to make an important connection now about some people. They sometimes don't want to get along with you because they want to be selfish. They try to hide that emotion by explaining things to you. It's very important to cover your ears up with their comments that would make you really angry with these people.

I'm starting to understand this area now and that it's not really me that is the problem. It's really them who has problems. I need to still be careful with the things I say and do now. The main point is pretty much getting cleared up, and I'm now understanding enough with happiness in the Lord. I can't believe I am finally understanding this value. It's easy to state you have no problem moving on with people who are being selfish and unreasonable. If you can really prove it, then I think it's really good on your part and very bad for them.

Random boy/girl stuff

Another comment. I hope I'm not causing any people to feel aggravated with me talking about God all the time. I know how I feel that way with others sometimes and how I need to put a lid on it because my body just wants to perceive things that way.

I've always been good at coming on top when someone does something really bad to me. It's something innate and a part of me. I just hope it does not create in me something that wants to go nuts like awhile go.

Anyway, I sort of have it figured out but have to find it tested. In Jesus, we are forgiven for our sins. Through trusting him, he gives us strength to overcome any sinful obstacles. In him, we find peace and a renewed joyful heart. Jesus promised all of mankind that any man who would believe onto him would find everlasting life. (John 3:16)

I sort of stumbled on something practical, possibly for people who been struggling with pornography. This may sound sick. I apologize. I feel that we should not be in a pursuit of porn, it's the feeling or that desire of arousal which is part of guys no matter how strong it is through our biological build-up that gives us fuel to find the right mate. I sort of been turned off by someone I've been sexually attracted to, and man it really bites another dust. It's the feeling of pursuit that guys should get accustomed to and normal with. Remember, not everyone is made for you. I think it's looking for common grounds and attaching yourself with someone who does not mind the attention you give her. It is also being patient and taking it easy with the person.

It's extremely hard to sometimes just have the mentality of being friends with certain girls...They seem to make it hard when you want to just hang out and talk about whatever and just chill. It must deal with having a good character and nice sense of humor. I think most girls dig that type of sweet sensible individual. It does not really matter how bad you look as long as you have viable characteristics. For me, I'm really really short. I think I have a nice body for my size, but still I hate the idea of being short. I guess if you have to choose something that you want to lack in, might as well be height. I hope to find out about short and well-known CEOs with taller and attractive wives soon. (*chuckles, sorry) Frost said something like "What lacks in height makes up for what is in depth." Stole it from a friend's AIM profile. Another saying from my mom is, "A more chilli red pepper is shorter than a normal one." Another cheesy analogy, but quite interesting as it runs through a culture.

I see myself always as an imperfect individual because I want to stay living in the truth. Realizing this makes it possible to build a firmer relationship with anyone. A friend of mine wants to get a little foolish and say that he is perfect in some area like courting millions of girls. I'm of course, exaggerating just for laughs; I sort of have fun pointing out his weaknesses in whatever he says. I guess that's how a boy sometimes grows up into a man!

Just writing really fast

I can now see how the normal reaction for my statements are to laugh basically. It really has pretty significant meaning in that it might lighten up the mood in a stressful environment. It all depends on how successful you are. Most of the time, I guess being quiet could mean that you are not having any trouble at all. With how people start caring about you, I think that just comes from not trying to mess around and wanting to make sense and doing something in your power.

Many of us are like not patient enough to get results. Some of us try to think that it's impossible after some certain length of time has passed on. God is not like this. Because of His perfect nature, He understands through our strengths and weaknesses that in time we will change. It's only God who can change a man or woman inside out. We are just a passing vessel; however, we all have a gift that gives us joy in the Lord.

This is pretty cool

I think I like to write a lot when I'm in some destructive mood. I try to cover it up basically through writing. Communicating is wonderful, and I don't really care to do something illegal like a cop might try to blame me for in an ignorant way.

Okay, I feel good right now after just writing it. I write like this to a lot of people who wrong me. They don't respond to me the way I expect, but it makes me laugh every time I write or going back to think about it. Eventually, the agitation goes away after writing about seriously nothing bad and comes to a normal sense of accepting them. Even if they want to lock me up, I will still write and now that I have patience and a normal head, I'm pretty gung ho about making them change into better people.

There are a few things I want to occupy myself with: 1) Study 2) Rest 3) Exercise 4) Be with a friend. In my spare time, I want to read a lot. I struggle with spiritual things a lot too, and I'm glad that I'm coming around even though it's vexing to hear people want you to be some way that you don't want to be. My desirable roots are forming.

Trying to let go of the flesh

I know all my struggles, and how I don't wish to publicize them or speak about it in private that often. There's a saying that ignorance is sometimes bliss. It's funny how by being right in your motives and actions, people can react in an insecure manner when you confront them initially. There are many painful ways to go about this, but I'm trying to get over it fast right now.

I now know my aspirations, what bugs me a lot, and how I should cope with it. It's really crazy because I have all these wonderful ideas for myself to self-motivate myself, but then I forget it the next day with my crazy emotions taking over. I sometimes lose it with this self-hedonism approach to life. It's wrong to live in this deceitfulness, but so many do to this day. It's a struggle, and I know I have it underneath me to push to the finish, but I still fail all the time to this day. I hope that by writing about it, I'll be able to take comfort in the hands of the Lord when I do face it and not forget a confession that I made like two weeks ago. I hope that I will be able to face my selfish attitude and the pain that goes along with it. To pursue in a loving way that is the right and best way even though others may see it as wrong. I hope that this connection would be linked up to me. I hope that it would change the majority and their views about me.

I'm wrong to this day somewhere, and there's no way of making it right. Ending the act of doing something and changing it to nothing could sometimes be defensive, but it could be worthless in the end. There's a dilemma to try and to change and to resist and to pursue. It's like facing myself, close to being my worst enemy. The devil Satan is our worst enemy, but let's not forget how we could bring others down and that doing something is sometimes required even though it's super messy and things go spiraling downwards. Something has to be learned from it. History should never repeat itself. Guys like me keep forgetting. Maybe there is a hard lesson to learn while pursuing after something you prize like a beautiful woman who has a heart for you, but everybody keeps you from getting to her. Maybe you want to say a lot of mean things in a nice way and laugh about it in secret and while the other person gets so mad at you. I think it's best not to care so much about unproductive things that want to haunt you from the past.

It's to look to Jesus' true intentions, so that means if you are uncomfortable about his teaching you should really research and take time to meditate on it. Not just give up or make unnecessary assumptions and not to get so mad about people disagreeing with you. He sacrificed his life and reminded us of this quote, "A best friend will lay down his life for you. " He stated to God that they know not what they are doing and to forgive them. He then stated, "It is finished" and died with a broken heart.

Here we go again

I really need to encourage myself to write more often. In a way, my mind is working so fast that some of the things I could be jotting down may amaze me in the future. In some days, it may just feel like fluff. I think we all have our good and bad days. It's just the extremes that some of us need to forget about or try to rely on faith with having good counsel. I once read this article about an atheist who was complaining that his AA meetings emphasized having faith in God to change him. It felt like he was trying to state that the idea was ludicrous and really not doing much for his addiction problem. We're all not perfect but it does not mean the norm can't be challenged by anyone who is devastatingly overwhelmed by a system.

I also work up a flair a lot when I'm in disagreement with people. I've been trying to write more in these moments because I know that I don't really say crazy things. If I can write things that sends a guilty conscience wringing down someone's throat without having stated anything bad about them , then why really give it up. It's a talent that I must possess or in some weird way that needs to be explored. If I was super sad, I probably would not be writing about my perils with the offensive person. It does not do well to communicate; everybody around me communicates like they are on a hot plate sometimes. It's just important for me to not to lose it in the end and then get super sad about it and then get so hurt that I withdraw from society and then try resolving things without any help with professionals or anybody. Man, that type of lifestyle is something I don't want to get into again. My emotions are not too overboard as it used to be. Thank goodness with age and dealing with enraging issues in attempting positive acts. In greater news, thank Jesus for committing the greatest act for all of man's sins. The perfect man who was blameless and did not fall to the temptations of the flesh and the devil. He sacrificed himself that whoever would look upon him in faith, the person would be granted everlasting life. The gospel is so wonderful and overfilling. It is a message of love, hope, and faith wherever your life is at.

I myself am waking up looking in the mirror. I am like man, I wish I was taller and had better looks with a smile now. I don't seem to be bothered by my outside appearance anymore that much. I think exercising more would be great for my health and give me considerable benefits in mobility and lifting power. It feels like a lot of my average friends wish they were a little taller too. Even though I'm really short, my friends try to say that I don't look that proportionately short. I even heard a tall professor state that he felt a lot of anxiety about standing out in the crowd. A super gentleman that he is- he married his best friend and has no trouble announcing how great his sexual needs are being met.