Trying to let go of the flesh

I know all my struggles, and how I don't wish to publicize them or speak about it in private that often. There's a saying that ignorance is sometimes bliss. It's funny how by being right in your motives and actions, people can react in an insecure manner when you confront them initially. There are many painful ways to go about this, but I'm trying to get over it fast right now.

I now know my aspirations, what bugs me a lot, and how I should cope with it. It's really crazy because I have all these wonderful ideas for myself to self-motivate myself, but then I forget it the next day with my crazy emotions taking over. I sometimes lose it with this self-hedonism approach to life. It's wrong to live in this deceitfulness, but so many do to this day. It's a struggle, and I know I have it underneath me to push to the finish, but I still fail all the time to this day. I hope that by writing about it, I'll be able to take comfort in the hands of the Lord when I do face it and not forget a confession that I made like two weeks ago. I hope that I will be able to face my selfish attitude and the pain that goes along with it. To pursue in a loving way that is the right and best way even though others may see it as wrong. I hope that this connection would be linked up to me. I hope that it would change the majority and their views about me.

I'm wrong to this day somewhere, and there's no way of making it right. Ending the act of doing something and changing it to nothing could sometimes be defensive, but it could be worthless in the end. There's a dilemma to try and to change and to resist and to pursue. It's like facing myself, close to being my worst enemy. The devil Satan is our worst enemy, but let's not forget how we could bring others down and that doing something is sometimes required even though it's super messy and things go spiraling downwards. Something has to be learned from it. History should never repeat itself. Guys like me keep forgetting. Maybe there is a hard lesson to learn while pursuing after something you prize like a beautiful woman who has a heart for you, but everybody keeps you from getting to her. Maybe you want to say a lot of mean things in a nice way and laugh about it in secret and while the other person gets so mad at you. I think it's best not to care so much about unproductive things that want to haunt you from the past.

It's to look to Jesus' true intentions, so that means if you are uncomfortable about his teaching you should really research and take time to meditate on it. Not just give up or make unnecessary assumptions and not to get so mad about people disagreeing with you. He sacrificed his life and reminded us of this quote, "A best friend will lay down his life for you. " He stated to God that they know not what they are doing and to forgive them. He then stated, "It is finished" and died with a broken heart.