Right now, I'm on break with a camp. I've studied for about 10 hours a day on average by the end of the week! My brain practically is shutting down in certain parts of the day but I'm loving it. I'm actually applying some speed reading techniques. In addition to a lecture, I really was thinking about something and just want to lay it out. I really want to make a difference in this world. I'm not really in it for the money. I would like to provide a cool venue that people could apply to assist on something. Whether it's something really little or large, I remember sleeping at a conference where the maker of Intel pentium processor Hyper Threading and Larry Wall of Perl came by to talk about stuff. It was pretty awesome just that I was too tired to stay awake and listen the whole time. Life goes on for the average joe. Who just plays video games, feels bad, had a few good pizzas together with roommates while watching football and studies hard up to a certain point, and then gets drilled with hard lessons in life. It's not that bad...I've been just feeling bad from not always performing where I think I could be. What can you do in the end though? It's make better decisions by committing to something that ties everything together. Ever dream of making a choice like that?

I remember this one awesome Jewish author who came by and gave this talk about the end of the world. You know with the Jewish people, this author is a Christian and has been studying a lot of world events and been predicting stuff that actually came true. It's exciting to have heard him talk. I also slept on his testimony too. I was so tired. I hate doing this. Okay, I have to seriously stop sleeping in people's talks. I believe that I have already finally learned to resolve whatever it was that was not making me tick and stay relieved and cool even under personally induced pressure.

This is a post that I'm sneaking. I will try to be mindful of who I am writing it for. Whether it be my future lover, or if it be my curent friends who went crazy, I'm just proud to be a believer of God. I'm having so much fun and I realize that there has to be a God in my life. How he works in my heart and provides me relief in times of trouble. How His Word has always been there to pick me up. The gospel has full strength and great meaning. I just can't explain it too way right now. I can even hardly see my words because I'm writing without looking at the screen. Okay bye. Maybe I'll just pick up my Bible which I left in my car. I'm currently at a camp to get certified for a job. I'm loving it a lot. Maybe a successful journey is ready for me to begin.

Going on break

Today, I suppose that I get a chance to really study hard now. I think God has blessed me with the ability of having reasonable assumptions and to not get so mad that I entirely lose my cap and go into a mental institution. Even if I do get mad, I think I like to believe that people with turning it around any day then there is reward in it. There is no joy in trying to cut off people for the sake of obtaining something selfish because you are just not being any good person then.

I see that it's okay to want to please others to a certain extent and to feel guilty about it for awhile. Then, when the anger kicks in just pray to God and know that some people have the ability to help and to really feel compassionate with you. If you don't see any of them right now in your life, then perhaps I could introduce you to a friend of mine. He lived and died a long time ago and this may sound crazy but he rose from the dead and a myriad of witnesses claimed he went to heaven and performed miracles for the sake of providing eternal salvation. This man's name is Jesus. Jesus claimed to be God and stated that he loved all men that none should perish but have everlasting life, if they would turn from the wicked bondage of a common enemy and cast their eyes in true freedom.

I think I feel safe

I think with all the days that I have numbered on Earth. Just a few minutes out of the day to compose what's on my mind just for myself with nobody really seeing it, but could any time of the day is starting to be sort of a discomfort but also an acceptable thing.

I just don't know what really happened in the past. It's sort of becoming like a blur to me now. I think I just need to concentrate a little better and be ready to open to receiving sound Biblical teaching. It's really amazing how the simple principles are just tied together in one knot, and how the truth can set you to be free and liberated. It does not need to make you feel hurt.

Just a Post

Today, I'm just trying to basically study really hard. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I'm just in the mode of figuring out what I really want for myself and to actually do it. I don't think I really have that big of any problems. Everything is just a big misconception sometimes.

The only thing that really remains a light to me is following a relationship with Jesus. I know it's really hard for me to follow him all the time and to also preach the gospel. I guess I just have my struggles in that area and how I wish to be used by God. I'm totally in this stage where my sexual temptations are starting to get me wondering about getting married to an attractive woman. I don't want to continue living in sin.

I'm going to prioritize and learn to give enough effort. It's very difficult, but I think it's really beneficial and helpful.

Just Random

I'm just writing something random today because I'm trying to keep up with this blog. I just want to write something okay and not really be that offensive. I think it's the Spirit of God that I really want to worship that gives me this personal space of mine to write and not be intrusive to others.

I don't really want to do a lot of bad things, and I don't think I'm really all that bad and crazy underneath. I guess it's okay to be in this learning habit. I think I should be leading myself into studying more of what I'm trying to do. I also like to read the Bible even though I'm not very good at it. I'm just spending a few minutes reading a few chapters a day. This pretty much equates to taking a year to read the whole Bible. Attending a good Bible teaching church has really helped me get nourished spiritually and to see a side of being free from bondage of sin and forgiven through the loving Savior. It's really good for me to study because I get to really learn to cope with what is bugging me. It's such a nice thing to have for myself. It's so humbling and very appealing for me to try to master.

Just Planning

Today, I realize that all these years of trying to get a high by playing video games may have been okay, but not the absolute best journey of finding an eternal path. I think I'm realizing that I would like to let go of playing video games like crazy and become a very disciplined person. While doing this, I would also like to engage in at least mildly good conversations with beautiful people. Anybody who tries to turn their back on me are pretty much not really that well okay, I don't really want to say right now.

I'm going to try to take a this test to see if I could get into a police academy. I hear they are hiring, but I just want to see if they would take me. I just want to see how I rank right now for some specific purpose. I have other plans currently, but right now with the job market, I just want to see if the legal enforcers really want to pursue after me. I don't know if I'll really be joining but it might really be a real confident booster if they find me okay.

Understanding "Me"

I'm starting to notice that memories in the past may not really be all that helpful sometimes. It's great to rely on feelings and the present situation and the fun part is sometimes stirring doubt in others who seem to complain a lot. I'm just really pausing right now and wanting to basically say acceptable things over the internet. It's more of a discipline because I feel like I am more capable of writing seemingly interesting things that would stir laughter in third parties.

I really understand myself and what's best for me. Basically, it's just allowing myself to bear my own emotions whenever I have any natural doubt about something. I don't think there's anything wrong with others not wanting you to be their best friend. That's a really rude thing to impose on. Just going up for balance is so important. My sister seems to point out that my main fault or problem is not being able to talk properly. I really know how I'm supposed to succeed now and how spending so much time wallowing in my own shadows is not really going to be all that great.

It's just important to read the situation really well and to ask like the most comprehensive questions and then to be able to naturally assess the actions of others. People sometimes are faulty in this area and could not be looked upon as that serious. I think it's best to seek for the best advice by praying to God and being patient under His own timing. It is actually a flawless method that is sometimes really hard to understand.

I really don't know...

I don't really need attention right now. I'm just realizing that there is a wealth of information out here. It's just great to understand things that happened. I think by having a good attitude and just wanting to see how things will turn out, it will be all okay in God. Everything does not always seem as it is. It's probably best to avoid some subjects that people are sort of trying to be noisy with. Maybe everyone varies, it's just important to try to get along in having love with others. I don't really know what I'm saying right now. I'm just typing random jargon. I think it's just good to work hard and to be humble. Learning is such a humble thing. I'm starting to see that pride is not required when learning. The most successful people do a humble thing by studying hard.

Jesus Loves You

Sometimes one of the hardest things is living life without reassurance of what you are doing. I believe that by exercising faith in Jesus, it could mean a lot of good things. Jesus said in the Bible that he would send the Holy Spirit to believers who would confess that they are sinners and accept him as their savior. It's a totally simple concept but very hard for people living in the flesh to realize. I really think that Jesus can solve anything, if you truly want to live out in testimony of him. My personal confidence is getting to a level that is consistent, just by wanting to confess my sins daily to him and being able to face it. There's no more need for depression, mental disorders, or angry outbursts. Being able to live to endure temptations and not give into them anymore makes me feel so much more happier. It's all thanks to something underneath me that wants to reach out to God. I know that I continue to fall short daily and that I can't have a perfect walk with Jesus. My heart has truly come to accept Jesus as my true savior, without any need to display personal strength and pride in my ways. If I were to be so prideful about myself, I would be only mocking the true gospel.

Thinking Positive

I realize that I a lot of things are not really supposed to be that difficult to achieve. A lot of it really has to deal with attitude of willingness to go for it and to also work really hard for something. I don't think there's anything wrong with over-preparing on course materials. I realize that I naturally felt stuck in the past from not being able to study properly, but now I understand that it's part of me and I have learned to relax it. I'm pretty much ready to achieve high levels of success. I am really no stranger to success.

Just A Suggestion

It takes a lot of time to understand situations and patience to overcome tough obstacles that seem very difficult. There's really no right or wrong when it comes to having a normal relationship with a person. I think it really does deal with the issue of personal space. We all have our own preferences and need to have a certain level of respect for it. I, myself, have come across as an easy person to voice all concerns with. At a certain moment of time, I unfortunately can really hate them doing it so much with reasons that don't make any sense to me. I think it's within reason to talk to clear out any unreasonable factors with the person. If they just stop talking to you after all these problems they put on you, I think you are home bound to do whatever you want to do them. I suggest limiting the amount of scolding and to do it to a minimal amount and to make them submit under your personal victory.

Only Time Will Tell

I seriously realize the effect that my writing can really have and that people can view things differently. Oh, I understand that people can have the ability to be mad with me and say another thing. This whole issue sometimes can worsen to the maximum thing, but nothing bad would be really happening. I understand that I do have a moral sense of responsibility. I totally forgot a lot about myself, and where I really came from. I don't really need people telling me how to live anymore. I think I've grown up enough to understand so many different points. It really does not matter for me what happened as of this moment. I'm only going to grow stronger because of the faith that I'm putting in Christ. Not the kind who is a wishing well, but I'm just dwelling on the true authenticity who lived a perfect, sacrificial life.

All my pains are made little and like chaff that is blown away. Sure, it's nothing right now and I know that there are bigger pains in life. Maybe, God is setting me up right now for the biggest stage in my life. I'm going to live a good life and a very big one.

Repenting From Bad Urges

A saying goes the mind is a terrible thing to waste. I totally agree because sometimes if things get out of hand, others could not really use their head and rely more on their emotions and do something bad. I think it's just important to sometimes keep yourself busy and allow time to show what really went wrong. It's also important to educate the mind and to be a very hard worker and to face yourself by being completely honest about your desires. These desires can be met, but it's important to have a relationship with Jesus. What does Jesus truly want for us? I don't think the Bible intends to tell us that it's okay for us to be selfish.

Sometimes, you just have to think about the feelings of others. I am starting to realize that it's not all about centering a focus on one individual at a time. Life can move into a greater direction by not worrying so much about insignificant things. I think respecting the personal space of others is really easy, even if confusion takes place and you are not really getting what you want out of them. I should have just clearly expressed all my desires while not being afraid of myself doing harm to others. Moving on will not be that hard for me anymore. I totally have faith that God can provide all my desires and that I should have patience and align my flesh in a path of discipline to avoid myself from falling into sexual sins. I believe that it's naturally for us to have sexual urges and that God intended for us to live them out in marriage presuming that God intended a man and a woman to marry to be faithful to each other.

Winners and Losers

Today, I'm starting to realize that so many chances are still available as part of my right and that I don't need to really be listening to the opinions of the others if I feel that mine is way better. I am starting to understand myself a lot better and am really learning to face myself. I feel comfortable and yet just a little pushed over. I am starting to see that I have always naturally been good at focusing on the attention of others being mad at me over something silly. I guess I am not supposed to really mind or feel bothered by it. There's finally something for me to just appreciate.

What I Am Thinking

I am just writing this blog for myself. I am pretty much adding in stuff that would be helpful for myself. I think when people give me advice, some of it can be laughable already. I guess I have not been wanting to comprehensively face myself, but now that I am doing it, I don't really have that much I am apprehensive over anymore. I know that I am ignorant to many things. Proving things wrong have never been so much easier when things are forced upon you, and you are just trying to communicate your thoughts with reason to a bad crowd. It's just growing through adversity with people who you want to be mad at but want to just focus on being a good person, always.

It's best to just face yourself and be completely natural about something. As long as you are following the guidelines within how the Bible was originally intended for everyone, which means you have to study the Scriptures and meditate upon it daily, and then use it to live your life in accordance to how you and God desire things, it should be okay to react to hostile situations in prayer first.

Fun Day At The LA County Fair

Today, I went to the LA County fair with a very close friend. The admission fee was only like $1. Yes, seriously. Everybody was like, no way, what the heck? My parents also felt like going when I informed them that it was only until this weekend. It was really hot at this time of the year and I do not really feel like going again until at least the weather cools down.

We just walked around and saw some animals and went to visit some stores. I signed up to enter a few drawings to go on a cruise and to Hawaii. The guy who was working asked if I had a girlfriend. I sort of skirted around with the answer. I'm not going to really mention anything more about her at this time.

The drinks and games also became a dollar after 4 P.M. It was cool because I got to win some prizes. It wasn't that big, but it's okay I guess. I had fun playing and also chipping in some money for my buddy who also won a prize. He wanted to trade an item I won for a smaller item that he had. Pretty funny sarcasm. I picked up two stuffed animals- a horse with a piggy-like face and a small fish that looked like Nemo.

Managing Some Anger

I normally don't like to project my emotions in a negative manner. However, I was doing this a lot and I should have just said whatever I wanted to say. I thought by avoiding my angry comments for a long time that they would finally come to their senses. I sort of tried to do it by hiding out with all the e-mails and that no judge or person under oath even when they are so angry for whatever reason could say that my statements were violent.

I don't think the things I said were wrong, but only trying to be an educational person with an intent of becoming a better writer. At least I have a constellation prize with all the madness that has happened for me. I can write a little better and not worry as much in expressing myself fully around friends and literally listening to them in conversation. Sorting out problems or things I don't like with another person is always going to be hectic. I think I realize that people are going to be a little more open with me because of my demeanor, so I have not really lost that much alienation or loneliness. The only reason why I get it is because they are acting so crazy and only a few people seem like this in my life. Overall, just interacting with a good heart even while you are mad about something underneath is pretty fun, and you can expect some handshakes and hugs as a result.

Personal predictions

I predict that in three years a lot of things are going to happen for me. I am starting to realize my potential from having learned to grow up. I have been stuck on a lot of inconsequential things which have just been wasting my time. I think I have to learn to balance myself from these dumb incidences that have occurred for me. I just need to not worry about things that cannot be under my control anymore. The good Lord will seriously do amazing things in my life and is completely protective of me when I'm speculating a lot of pain and distress for myself.

I personally like to humor myself without offending others too much, even though maybe a few would not want to see it my well and really make me become quiet. Maybe I should do some really cool stuff and focus. There really is not much time left for me to just feel like I want to do things and then not see it happen. Life is sometimes painful in that regard for me. I just don't like to accept some things. It's just part of my personality. I am a gamer pretty much.

Today, I'm just chilling with a friend. I totally need to up my tempo with studying. I managed to read five books already in just under five days. That's one book per day while spending about four hours each on average. These books are on computers and are a pretty fast read for me. I guess making a profession out of computing won't be that bad for me after all. I am really motivated to continue pursuing in this direction of becoming a certified tech junkie with a huge company. I think it will open plenty of doors for me.

I am still offended with certain things that happened to me, like we all can be in certain times of our life. It's normal to be human. I just have not spoken up in those incidences where I was offended because I just wanted to try to listen to some distressed individuals' insane requests, even though I would not be able to function by doing them.

Just Writing

I'm starting to figure that it's okay to be uncomfortable about some things in life. You just have to keep moving along and hopefully, the pressure will eventually release itself. It's so difficult to break out of bad habits too. I myself am contending with my old nature daily. I think it's incredible to walk to the other side for better goodness, instead of continuously doing things to hurt yourself. You can't do this on your own. You need spiritual comfort to be able to fully overcome this obstacle and to never look back again. That's where Christ can fit in anyone's picture.