Despite Freedom

Even though I have a lot of freedom than I had before, I don't really want to be so lazy in my life right now. I don't really want to screw up situations for myself anymore. I just need to compensate to the best of my ability right now and maybe working on myself is going to be life-long process for me. I don't know if my mind is going to be capable of being that person who would handle a marriage satisfactorily. I mean I do like someone a lot but I feel like I'm really incapable sometimes based upon my upbringing. It's pretty crazy that I can sometimes be so hard on myself. With all of these personal feelings sort of dissipating, I have so much more distractions coming in and that I have to be able manage some new ones that are a part of me and have been so persistent.