Laughing About Old Times

Since my mind has awakened from a pretty often panicked state even though I didn't show it and tried to give others hope, I'm feeling a lot more relevant and more coherent with things. Hey, now that I think of it; those people I keep mentioning on this blog over and over again like a sick parrot (Chris, Jarred, Annie, Lee, Golf, Chai, Bae) were really of no good use to me. Haha, I left out Betty on purpose because I know we can enjoy each others' company as friends. Heck, we hung out awhile ago and nothing bad happened and I was like cool with it too, so just building a decent friendship is going to be a high benefit for me. I really understand Betty a lot even though she can't communicate everything she's feeling with me now, and my haunch is just being a friend to her out of trying to be a gentleman haha. I'm still not writing about some intimate things about her, so just reminding myself not to on this blog.

Originally, looking at my old posts made me become even more nervous and now that I'm looking at it, I'm just laughing at how I was in the past. It's not a really bad thing actually with the metamorphose I was going through in terms of the Bible. I was struggling a lot and finding hope and strength in my character building by placing trust in Christ. I was filled with a lot of passion and had these moments of being cold as ice or on fire that I could consume any obstacle. If I had acted naturally, then Chris and Jarred might have had a really hard time with me and I would be terrorizing them momentarily and making them look like a bunch of babies in a legal fashion. Haha. I chose to hold back here so I could look for the perfect swing, just like Tiger Woods did for his golf career- he was very good before a marital-related problem messed him up. I have found what I'm looking for and understand the thrill of being the captain of my ship. I'm still giving my life over to God to let Him mold me into a soldier of Christ.

I'm also thinking about opening back up my old posts from my old blog- it's called the Land of Earltopolis (haha); it documents some of my glories and tribulations - I changed the blog's name so many times. One time I called it Earl's World. Another time, I called it my computer club's name because I was the president- it was a pretty good club even though I sucked at being president; I would seriously know what to do now because I'm more sincerely open to how people are and respecting their space while laughing about how they could be missing out with the most fun ever. In other words, despite some lack of communication skills I wrote it like I was a free spirit and I was pretty young back then which was respectable with all that passion I released onto it.